


Damaged

by scottxlogan



Category: Logan's in the new world, X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men (Original Timeline Movies), post-days of future past - Fandom
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, Brief mention of Cannibalism, Cannibalism, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Clint and Maria's romance is a small part of this story though they are big characters in it, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, Extramarital Affairs, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, Longing, M/M, Mutilation, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Rough Sex, Scott and Jean are married but separated in this story, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:46:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 389,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottxlogan/pseuds/scottxlogan
Summary: Logan's been behaving different lately and no one seems to notice it except for Scott. As Scott finds himself contemplating his colleague's strange behavior, he finds that the mystery Logan presents turns into an obsession for him. Scott's convinced something has changed, but when no one else seems to pay attention to Logan's new habits, Scott takes it upon himself to discover just what has brought about the change in his teammate. Will Scott's obsession lead to happy endings for these two or more misery down the road as this new world unfolds?
Relationships: Clint Barton/Maria Hill, Logan (X-Men)/Scott Summers
Comments: 250
Kudos: 188





	1. Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place Post-Days of Future Past where Logan has jumped into his new life after 'fixing' the timeline. Unlike many of my other stories where everything is 'perfect' with Scott and Logan in an established relationship with one another, this one focuses on a world where everything isn't necessarily the happy ending that Logan thought he walked into. Instead he's facing a lot of adjustments and Scott is the only one noticing the differences in him. Will Scott's obsession lead to happy endings for these two or more misery down the road as this new world unfolds?

**Obsession:** _An idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind._

The low whirring hum of the motorcycle engine was loud enough to cause Scott to look up from the over stacked pile of papers on his desk and turn his attention to his office window. Glancing out into the darkened, stormy night beyond his office, he couldn’t help, but frown. Another humming sound carried over his office prompting him to look at the clock. Grimacing he rose up from his seat and walked over to the window only to discover the familiar sight of Logan racing down the drive on one of his motorcycles away from the school and into the night much like he had for the last couple of weeks. It had become routine for Logan, something that Scott had grown to anticipate each night he’d spent in his office struggling to bury himself in his work.

“One fifteen. Getting later each night, aren’t you Logan?” Scott mouthed to himself.

He looked to the window again watching Logan’s retreat. He could see the signs of rain on the damp, dark pavement, realizing that the night had given little reprieve to the cool weather that they’d been experiencing over the last few weeks. It seemed that there was an endless string of rain and winds not to mention the increasingly tense social climate around mutants. The world was changing faster than anyone had anticipated and people, in general, were angry at anything associated with mutants leaving most of students trapped within the safety of the school. Due to political tension, they’d been forced out of the rest of the world and into social isolation within the walls of Charles Xavier’s dream. It had been a time of high tension and anxiety bringing forth a time to be prepared for what was next in the dark times that surrounded the serenity Charles had once created. Fear of the unknown was enough to cause an outcry against mutants leaving most of the school on lockdown. That lockdown in turn brought about a wave of agitation cabin fever for everyone knowing that they were now forced away from the outside world living their days and nights in isolation…except for Logan.

“Then again none of the rules ever applied to you, did they?” Scott groaned thinking about Logan’s attitude about rules and regulations through the years.

Noting the time once again, Scott realized that Logan was running behind in his escape. Tonight, it was later than Logan’s usual retreat. Not that Scott had been consciously looking to keep tabs on Logan’s late hours, but Logan had developed what Scott would deduce was a bit of a pattern leaving the school promptly after ten and returning in the early hours just before the rest of the others were awake. No one realized that Logan was gone…except Scott. He had been the exception in suffering from a bout of insomnia that kept him up more often than he cared to admit lately. Still each morning when he heard Logan shuffling into his room, Scott couldn’t help, but find himself intrigued by what was keeping Logan out at such late hours.

“I’m sure that he needs to blow off some steam,” Hank suggested when Scott had revealed his findings to his friend earlier in the week about Logan’s midnight rendezvous, “which is something we could all afford to do right about now. Given the tense climate building outside of these walls, I’d don’t imagine that any of us feel any sense of comfort in being stuck inside. That certainly would apply to Logan given his personality.”

“Perhaps,” Scott had shrugged it off, “but I think there’s more happening with Logan beyond our current situation. He seems…off.”

“Scott, we’re always amid a situation and Logan’s always been the wild card. You know that he’s never been good at waiting things out,” Hank had attempted to placate Scott’s concerns, “He does what he does and we…”

“Experience the fallout when something explosive happens,” Scott had countered at the time, unable to quell the nagging feeling inside of him that something deeper was going on with his teammate. Granted Hank hadn’t been too concerned about Logan’s evening departures, but Scott knew full well that they were different. They didn’t fit into Logan’s typical daily behavior and that was reason enough to take pause. Now as Scott thought about how this was the second week in a row that he’d watched Logan rush out into the night, caught up in the wind and the road leaving the school at late hours to get swept up in something that kept him away well into the morning, Scott found himself intrigued by the mystery that had presented itself.

“You should rest, Scott. I’m concerned about you. If you don’t find another way to deal with things, then this is inevitably going to take you under,” he could almost hear Jean’s voice in the back of his mind coaxing him to bypass another long night at his desk grading papers, but now wasn’t the time for sleep. In his current bout of insomnia, he found himself met by a newfound curiosity in wondering just what Logan was up to. It nagged at the back of his mind all through the night from the moment of Logan’s departure, to the early morning hours when Logan made his clumsy return staggering through the halls smelling like alcohol and heavy cigar smoke.

“He’s been going through a few things lately Scott,” Charles had advised Scott earlier in the week when Scott’s growing concerns mounted. It was on day ten of Logan’s nocturnal adventures that Scott had finally reached out to Charles hoping Charles would have some insight on Logan’s recent late-night activities, “He’s going through some changes in his life that leave him unsettled and facing some unresolved personal issues that only he can work through for the time being.”

“Changes,” Scott mouthed to himself watching as the tiny, red glowing lights on the back of the bike faded out of sight indicating that once again Logan was gone for the night, off to live whatever life he’d picked up on recently.

“Where are you going?” Scott mouthed to himself contemplating Logan’s destination. Given what clues he’d picked up on, he was guessing that perhaps it was a bar or another seedy spot where Logan could overindulge in alcohol and who knew what else until he had his fill. The idea unsettled Scott as he found himself wondering just what his teammate was trying to accomplish in his retreat.

“You’re still awake?” Hank’s voice caused Scott to practically leap out of his skin. He spun around, moving away from the window with a gasp when he discovered Hank in his doorway scrutinizing Scott with the same level of intensity that Scott was certain he was giving into pondering Logan’s situation. With Hank’s eyes upon him, Scott tried to recover in having been caught in his spying on Logan. He reached up to adjust the collar on his shirt to play it cool, but it was no use as his friend entered his office with a concerned expression on his face, “Keeping tabs on Logan again?”

“He just left,” Scott didn’t bother to hide his activities.

“I suppose that fits into his new agenda these days,” Hank conceded arching a scrutinizing brow, “and yours given that you’ve been rather on top of his actions it would seem.”

“Don’t you think it’s strange that he’s running off all the time?” Scott questioned attempting to quell the curiosity in his voice, but again it was no use. He crossed the closed quarters of his office, moving past his bookshelves to stand beside his friend, “I mean think about it. Less than a month ago you couldn’t get him off the couch after nine without protest, but then one morning he wakes up and everything changes.”

“Scott…”

“Just hear me out,” Scott pleaded with him, “It just doesn’t add up. That night he started a fight with me after we got back from our mission in front of everyone—completely losing his temper causing it to escalate. Then goes to bed in a frenzy. No resolution. No working through it, but rather he goes to bed all angry and agitated and then the next morning he walks downstairs acting strange—behaving as if he hadn’t seen any of us for years, looking like he was going to burst with eagerness and now this.”

“Who knows with Logan? He’s never been one for apologies Scott. If that’s what you’re hoping for…”

“No, it’s not an apology I’m looking for,” Scott dismissed his friend’s words, “I’m not concerned about that. It’s the fact that he was so angry—even more pissed off then I can ever recall acting the way he did and then…nothing… He just let it go without putting up a fight—without so much as a sarcastic quip and…”

“He’s always been his own man. You know how he is when he goes off to stew over life somewhere. He gets upset, has a fit, sorts it out and eventually he returns to toe the line,” Hank shrugged moving in closer to Scott’s desk, “It’s what he does.”

“Not like this,” Scott argued with him, “The last time he had a temper tantrum, he ended up breaking the simulator in the Danger Room. We had to spend the next few weeks fixing it and…”

“Perhaps he’s decided to come upon a better outlet to channel his frustrations, which is something that perhaps you should try yourself,” Hank suggested. He motioned to the oversized stack of papers as a frown creased over his lips, “Granted I admire your dedication, but being this backed up on paperwork is undoubtedly taking its toll on you. You seem exhausted Scott.”

“I suppose, but this isn’t about me. It’s about the changes in Logan,” Scott replied dismissively, “Surely, you must’ve picked up on them. He’s not exactly subtle about it.”

“Logan’s never been subtle Scott.”

“I realize that, but don’t you think it was strange how quickly his mood shifted? Don’t tell me you didn’t see it too that morning,” Scott continued thinking about the changes that had been taking place with his teammate, “You have to admit that when he came to the office to see Charles that morning that something was different about him. He seemed…”

“What?”

“Lost. The anger was gone and replaced by a sense of sadness, peace—or maybe confusion. I don’t know, but it wasn’t the man that I fought with the night before,” Scott finished with an emphatic sigh. Bringing one hand up over the side of his head, he attempted to massage his fingers over his temple before letting out a long, slow sigh, “Something just felt different.”

“Perhaps he had time to reflect on your argument the night before.”

“No, it wasn’t that. When he reached out to me…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip, fighting to keep his thoughts contained. He cleared his throat and stood up taller before facing his friend, “It just didn’t feel like Logan.”

“Charles mentioned that Logan was going through a thing. He told you as much when you asked him about Logan’s behavior,” Hank offered up with a casual shrug, “Maybe after the argument you had, he took your words to heart. Perhaps he sees that his anger issues weren’t helping anyone least of all him and he just needs some time to adjust.”

“Adjust to what? We have been going through the same routine for years now. Logan always runs hot and cold, but he never just lets something go especially when he feels he’s right on an issue,” Scott pointed out pushing the issue further.

“Perhaps he was trying to respect your opinion.”

“He’s always respected my opinion Hank,” Scott conceded thinking about his tumultuous relationship with Logan, “but he still finds way to challenge it.”

“He already did. You said it yourself that the night before you both had it out with one another…”

“And then he wakes up ready to turn over a new leaf?” Scott shook his head firmly, “I don’t buy it. Logan wouldn’t just back down like that and completely gloss over the issue. Monday night was round one.”

“And you were what? Hoping for round two?” Hank’s eyes widened with surprise, “Is that what this is about? Are you hoping to find something to keep you moving in the debate?”

“It wasn’t a debate,” Scott explained behind pinched lips, “It was…”

“Something that you both probably should move beyond,” Hank interrupted with a shake of his head, “Look Scott I can appreciate that you look out for the rest of us at times when maybe we don’t really give much thought to keeping tabs on ourselves, but with Logan, well maybe you should just write it off as he accepted the outcome of your argument. He dealt with it in his own way and now he has to adjust to the aftermath.”

“What aftermath?” Scott questioned. He circled around his desk to drop down into his seat once again, “It was Tuesday morning. What could he possibly have to adjust to on a Tuesday morning that would bring about such a change in him?”

“Waking up early after having dreams about stabbing you in the face and regretting it?” Hank shrugged again, “How should I know?”

“Hank, you’ve known him almost as long as I have,” Scott contemplated his words, “Maybe longer and you don’t think anything about his behavior lately is, well, off?”

“I really haven’t given him much thought, but your behavior on the other hand, well, it’s very perplexing Scott. I’m concerned…” Hank offered up in response.

“About what?” Scott frowned, “I’m just making an observation about my teammate and…”

“Perhaps your obsession with Logan’s behaviors stems from your own inability to control the situation,” Hank paused issuing him a disapproving glance, “You said it yourself that there was no resolution to the argument the two of you had with one another. Perhaps that is what’s troubling you.”

“That Logan hasn’t decided to continue fighting with me?” Scott groaned outwardly, “Please, that’s just a point of reference for deciphering his strange behavior. He’s quiet now Hank. He keeps to himself and…”

“Logan’s always kept to himself,” Hank pointed out.

“Not like this. Something is off. I can feel it,” Scott asserted once again, “and these late-night trips of his away from the school especially now when things are so up in the air for our kind…”

“Is that what is troubling you?” Hank questioned, “The political climate that’s happening outside of the walls of the school?”

“Don’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it,” Scott continued with a frustrated breath, “Charles told all of us that right now we have to be careful in our approach and…”

“You don’t think Logan is being careful?”

“I’m worried that he’s going out there doing something reckless because why else would he be going out at this time, racing off on his motorcycle to go to who knows where all night?” Scott’s voice raised with concern. He opened his mouth to say something more but stopped when he realized how frantic he was sounding. Instead he softened his tone and moved in closer towards his desk, “All I’m saying is that his change in behavior just feels off to me.”

“He isn’t the only one who is acting different lately,” Hank replied offhandedly. He motioned to the pages on Scott’s desk again before shaking his head, “This after-hours office retreat that you’ve had going on for the last week has given me plenty of reason for concern Scott.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Scott shifted moving to sit down on his seat. He swiveled the black chair, making himself comfortable before he reached for the red pen he’d been using earlier to write notes on the margins of the papers before him, “I’ve been busy with work lately. Finals are around the corner and…”

“We both know that it isn’t the finals that are keeping you down here working extra time into the late hours,” Hank’s somber expression chastised Scott without saying a word. He could feel the concern evident in his friend’s features before Hank dropped down into the chair across from where Scott was seated, “Perhaps we should stop focusing on what’s going on with Logan and start talking about what is happening with you.”

“Just because I’m observant about my team doesn’t mean that I’m…”

“This isn’t about the team Scott,” Hank’s words shifted with concern, “This is about what is going on with you. You keep mentioning the argument you and Logan had, but we haven’t really touched upon the real reason why it started. Don’t you think that maybe we should talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to say,” Scott answered dismissively. He pressed the tip of the pen in his hand over the page, offering up a couple more notations before setting it aside. Looking up, he could see Hank was still staring at him intently, “There isn’t.”

“Sure, there is,” Hank prompted him further, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been sleeping in your office the last couple of days. You look like you forgot to take a shower this morning. You’re up all night grading papers and spending your free time in the Danger Room burning yourself out to the point of exhaustion.”

“I just want to be prepared for whatever could be ahead of us. With all that is happening outside of the school I just want to be ready for whatever comes next. That’s all,” Scott answered dismissively. He sat up straighter in his seat, watching as Hank was scrutinizing him all over again, “What?”

“Scott, you can’t keep avoiding this. We both know that this has been building for a while,” Hank encouraged him further, “If you need to talk about things…”

“I don’t,” Scott replied with a frown.

“Fine, but if you want to…”

“Again, I don’t.”

“Scott…”

“I’m fine,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, “Really I am.”

“I wish I could believe that,” Hank sighed leaning back in his seat. He folded his right leg over the top of his left before issuing Scott another long, scrutinizing glance, “Right now, do you really think that is the best routine for you?”

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned reaching for another folder on the right side of his desk.

“Running yourself ragged?” Hank inquired, “Do you really think that is going to make any of this any less difficult? I know that you aren’t one to really talk about what you’re feeling, but…”

“I don’t need a therapy session. I’ve got things under control,” Scott replied stubbornly setting the file down on his desk. He reached for his pen again realizing that it didn’t seem to be working as he attempted to write on the page before him.

With a frustrated sigh, Scott put the cap back on it and tossed it into the trash bin before reaching for another. As he pulled it into his palm, he paused looking over at the wedding photo on the far corner of his desk. Earlier he’d turned it away, but somehow, he’d managed to move it when he’d reached for the pen. Now it sat on the desk beside him, serving as a reminder of the life he’d put behind him. With Jean’s smiling face staring at him, it took him back in time thinking about the day he and Jean had eagerly exchanged vows with one another. For a moment he felt a faint, flickering warmth overtake him, carrying with it a sweet, lingering memory of the magical day—of the time when they’d bested the odds and ended up sharing the dream wedding, they’d both talked about for years.

“It was a great day,” Hank broke through his thoughts leaving Scott to realize he’d been too caught up in the past to think clearly.

“It was,” Scott noted shifting the frame with his thumb and his index finger. He repositioned it so that it was facing the wall behind him before he looked over to Hank again, “but it was a long time ago.”

“Not too long for you to shut it out completely. Have you talked to Jean about any of this?” Hank asked lowering his voice as Scott found himself focusing on the photo again, “Have you both tried what I suggested for you?”

“Again, I appreciate your concern, but there’s nothing to say. It’s a moot point Hank,” Scott replied forcing himself to look away from his wedding photo. His heart sank at the thought of what it was meant to represent at the time given all the pitfalls he and Jean had endured in their relationship. They’d both been so young when they’d realized they were meant for one another, but the struggle through the years had been real. Time after time someone had tried to get in the way—to tear them apart, but as true to their reputation they’d beat the odds and found that something special that the rest of the world envied. Hell, looking at the man in the wedding photo, Scott found that he’d envied him as well because that man on that day truly had it all. He’d found his happily ever after with the woman he loved, but as much as it pained him to admit it, that man felt like a stranger to him—caught up in another time and place that Scott could no longer return to. Shaking the thought, Scott focused on the pages again. He forced the memories out of his mind and realized that it was best not to stay in a place to stew over things that he couldn’t change.

“I don’t believe that,” Hank argued, “and I’m sure if the two of you just took the time to really discuss all of this without the rest of the world…”

“It’s essentially beating a dead horse,” Scott revealed slumping down in his chair. He pushed the pages across his desk knowing only too well that he’d lost his train of thought long before Hank’s arrival, “We both knew what we were doing that day when we were at the office waiting for Charles. I think we both had it on our mind, but neither one of us were willing to say the words out loud especially after Logan showed up acting the way he did.”

“Have you spoken with him about any of this?” Hank arched a curious brow.

“Of course not,” Scott shook his head dismissively, “Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know,” Hank shrugged, “I just assumed that given your current fixation with Logan’s nocturnal activities that…”

“It’s not like that,” Scott stammered feeling his face grow hot at Hank’s line of questioning, “I just heard the motorcycle just now and…”

“So, you’re saying that what happened outside of the office didn’t have an impact upon you, yes?” Hank prompted him further, “That it didn’t get you thinking about the influence that Logan has had upon you over the last few years.”

“Hank, that’s not why…”

“Logan’s a complicated man Scott,” Hank reminded him, “and given his penchant for secrets and mood swings…”

“This is different,” Scott glanced over at the window once again. He could see beads of water pooling on the glass indicating that it had started raining harder during the time he’d come to enter a conversation with his friend.

“Because you’re looking for an escape or because you’re avoiding the inevitable resolution that you’ve been weighing out in your mind lately?” Hank asked opening the door to exploring Scott’s psyche once again.

“He’s a part of our team,” Scott ignored his friend’s line of questioning, “If something isn’t quite right with him, don’t you think that it is our responsibility to get to the heart of what’s been keeping him off of his game lately? The other day in the middle of a simulation he walked out. He just stopped what he was doing and walked out of the room without a word.”

“I saw that, but at the same time Logan’s demons run deeper than any of us really anticipated when…”

“He did the same thing at dinner yesterday,” Scott continued in a concerned voice, “He just walked right in, grumbled a couple of words at Jean and I, then walked out. After that he was gone.”

“I can’t explain Logan, but with you…” Hank paused as if he was weighing out his words.

“What?”

“What really happened when you and Logan went to Boston?”

“Nothing,” Scott shifted on his seat uncomfortably. He reached for his pen rolling it through his fingers on his desktop. He tipped his head up watching the way that Hank was scrutinizing him, and he frowned, “Absolutely nothing happened.”

“Then why are you and Logan both acting so strangely?” Hank questioned motioning to Scott’s nervous movements, “You both got back from Boston the night before you were outside of the office and…”

“Nothing happened,” Scott bit down on his bottom lip nervously, “It was just a typical mission. We were holed up in some shit motel room doing surveillance, drinking stale beer and eating cheap takeout. It doesn’t get more boring than that.”

“So then why the sudden interest in what he’s doing?”

“Because I feel like he’s hiding something,” Scott pushed his chair away from his desk and stood up. He placed his hands on his hips and scowled, “Haven’t you very found yourself in a position where you were concerned about someone who started acting strangely out of the blue? I mean one minute they are the same person they were their whole life and then the next…”

“They are sitting up after hours in their office grading papers and worrying about someone that they swear they don’t have any feelings for?” Hank countered only further frustrating Scott in his questioning.

“He’s my colleague Hank. He’s a vital member to my team and…”

“We both know it doesn’t stop there,” Hank leaned forward in his seat, “Be honest Scott.”

“Logan’s very important to our team and if something is happening with him…”

“Don’t try to bullshit me Scott,” Hank coaxed him on further, “We both know that there’s been this ‘thing’ happening for the last few years that…”

“It’s not a ‘thing’,” Scott clarified with a frown, “and for the record nothing happened in Boston.”

“Even if it did Scott given the circumstances, I think it’s perfectly acceptable that…”

“We were on a simple information collection mission,” Scott interrupted before Hank could spin any wild theories about his time away from the school, “It was completely by the books and…”

“No one would blame you if it wasn’t,” Hank offered up sympathetically, “Hell, it is perfectly acceptable to…”

“It isn’t like that,” Scott decided pinching his lips together before shifting gears on their conversation, “Hank, look I know you’ve been a friend of mine for a very long time…”

“That I have,” Hank nodded in response, “I was the best man at your wedding Scott.”

“Then you of all people know how important this is for me not to lose myself right now,” Scott explained feeling the weight of exhaustion carry over him, “I can’t sit back and just let things happen when…”

“You can’t keep ignoring what’s going on Scott,” Hank cautioned him, “People are going to start asking questions and with Jean…”

“She’s not worried about it, so why should I be?” Scott’s cut back sharply. He softened his tone feeling the weight of exhaustion carry over him, “Besides, she’s on a mission of her own for the next few weeks.”

“Really? When did she leave?”

“This morning,” Scott explained with a frustrated sigh, “Charles thought it was imperative that she be the one at the helm of the mission. She and Ororo left right after breakfast.”

“How did I not know about this?”

“You were in your lab most of the morning,” Scott reminded him, “and it wasn’t anything of real importance for you to worry about. Charles just wants them to keep an eye on a few potential groups generating interest just north of the border. They know what they are doing.”

“Even so…” Hank paused giving Scott another sympathetic glance, “Were they the only ones on the mission that…?”

“Bobby and Rogue tagged along,” Scott explained shifting on his seat again, “Kitty and Colossus were also on hand as well and…”

“What?”

“Bishop went with them,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth. His gaze lingered to his wedding photo once again before het let out a long sigh, “He volunteered to join them, and Charles felt he’d be an asset to the team. After Boston, Charles wanted Logan and I to sit this one out and with you caught up in your research…”

“I see, well, I suppose Charles knows what he’s doing most of the time,” Hank’s mood shifted when Scott decided he had more than his fill of grading papers.

“So, he says…” Scott’s words trailed off when he forced himself to look away from his wedding photo. Sitting up straighter in his chair, he found his thoughts lingering back to the mystery of Logan’s retreat.

“Scott…”

“Don’t,” Scott frowned, “Right now I just want to push through this.”

“Grading papers can wait,” Hank couldn’t help, but frown.

“Perhaps. How about a drink?” Scott suggested looking to the clock again when restlessness carried over him, “Maybe we can whip up something in the kitchen and…”

“I was going to head to bed before I noticed your light was on,” Hank hesitated before offering up a sympathetic smile, “but I suppose a late-night drink couldn’t hurt anything.”

“Great,” Scott decided pushing away from his desk and getting out of his chair, “A drink it is.”

“Scott…” Hank opened his mouth to say something more before nodding. He mirrored Scott’s movement and stood up as well, “A drink sounds great.”

* * *

“Where the fuck is he?” Scott questioned looking out of his bedroom window as he realized it was almost eight in the morning. It was far later than Logan’s usual walk into the school drunk and smelling like an ashtray. Pacing around his bedroom, Scott found his eyes returning to the clock again contemplating just what Logan was doing when he heard the familiar hum of the motorcycle making the climb up the drive and into the garage.

“It’s about damn time,” Scott mouthed to himself. He rushed over to the window looking out and seeing Logan staggering into the garage. He clumsily opened the door, pushing into the garage and out of Scott’s line of vision. Leaning in against the pane of glass, Scott attempted to crane his neck further to see what Logan was doing in the garage, but it was no use. Logan was inside the door and he would soon be making the climb up to his room to sleep away the morning much like he had for the last couple of weeks.

“Where were you?” Scott questioned noticing that the rain had finally stopped after a hellish night had fallen upon them. Now with the rising sun there was the promise of a new day filled with pink hues in the sky. Granted to Scott he couldn’t see its true color, but he could remember how he’d once viewed a sunrise in its perfection, carrying warmth and promise with it long before his powers had consumed his life. Now exhausted and agitated that Logan had been gone longer than usual, he found himself focusing on the garage wondering what was taking Logan so damned long to get upstairs and into bed.

Frowning, Scott prepared to step away from the window when he noticed that Logan was out on the sidewalk staggering away from the garage. He stopped mid-movement bracing himself up against a tree near the walkway. He seemed more sluggish than usual, his steps clumsy and disjointed when his fingers held onto the damp bark before him. His head was tipped down, his chest moving with the heaving breath he took before finally he slumped over as if he was going to vomit.

“What in the world?” Scott questioned watching with wide eyes as Logan broke into a series of dry heaves against the tree. It seemed that he’d overindulged as Scott contemplated Logan’s healing factor and the likelihood of such a response from Logan after a night away.

Leaning in closer to the glass, Scott watched as Logan shook his head, clearly caught up in his own turmoil when he stood upright and wiped at his mouth removing the traces of his surprising hangover. It seemed that whatever Logan was up to, it had wreaked havoc on his body when he moved a step away from the tree. For a moment Scott wondered if Logan was going to pass out on the grass, but as he pushed a few feet further to brace himself up against another tree, Scott watched behind his visor wondering what was happening to his colleague when Logan’s hand clumsily centered in over the button on his jeans. He fumbled with it, bringing his thick fingers over his zipper when Scott realized that Logan was about to open his jeans.

“What the…?” Scott observed horrified when it was clear that Logan was about to urinate on the bushes beside the walkway. Shocked Scott heard a voice telling himself to look away, but instead he found himself focused on Logan, who had now turned away from him in his quest to relieve himself on the rose bushes. His posture was slumped, but as his jeans hung down below his firm, muscular bottom revealing a teasing hint of skin, Scott found himself immediately on edge. He felt a lump forming in the back of his throat, his mind caught up in the scene unfolding before him when Logan’s right hand pushed back to scratch at the right side of his own ass, causing Scott to be overtaken by guilt in observing his teammate. A voice told him to look away, but he stood beside the curtain in a silent, voyeuristic moment, biting down on his lip as Logan stood upright and twisted towards Scott’s window. His large cock was still in hand, half hard and extended with fingers wrapped around it tightly as he tipped his chin up, meeting Scott’s invasive stare with curious intent.

“Fuck,” Scott blurted out realizing he’d been caught in his spying. Logan made a small, awkward step forward, not bothering to pull up his pants as his eyes remained upon Scott. There was a scowl on his lips, a dark expression on his face as Scott realized he’d crossed a line. He quickly pulled back, abruptly closing the curtains and cursing himself for being too damn curious about his colleague. Leaning up against the wall beside the window, Scott closed his eyes tightly attempting to banish the memory of Logan’s drunken form from his mind. He took in a slow, calming breath attempting to hold it together, but as he thought of Logan’s pants down just beneath his hips, of the firm grip he had on his own body, Scott found himself overtaken with other darker thoughts about his gruff colleague.

“Pull yourself together,” Scott chastised taking in low, calming breaths as his mind and body were out of control taking him from the illusion of serenity to a much darker sensation. Keeping his eyes closed tightly, Scott found his mouth had grown dry, his heart was hammering in his chest and as he squeezed at the robe tie that surrounded his waist, he found that everything else was on edge. His body was buzzing with sensation with his mind cursing his thoughts, but it was no use. Seeing Logan in that blatant fashion, wild and out there did something to Scott that he couldn’t quite ignore. Pulsating with life, Scott felt his body grow rigid, his thoughts returning to Logan’s perfect ass and his even more thrilling body that Scott had told himself time and time again that he shouldn’t dare think about.

“Just go to bed,” he ordered dropping his hands at his sides. Leaning back against the wall beside the window, he uncurled his fingers pressing his palms flat against the cool surface of the wall when he heard Logan’s familiar steps returning to his room down the hall. With each slide against the flooring, Scott grew increasingly aware of Logan’s nearness. With each step Logan took, Scott found himself wishing like hell he’d simply locked himself in his room, wrapped up in the blankets and away from thoughts of Logan and his stupid mystery retreat. After all, what did it matter what Logan did with his free time? Why should Scott care what he was doing or who he was doing it with? It wasn’t relevant and spying on Logan was only going to cause him more grief than it was worth. Even now in thinking about how Logan had caught him spying, he was certain that it could turn ugly quite fast if he didn’t get himself in check.

“Go to bed,” he whispered to himself again wondering if Logan could hear him in his room. He hoped that wasn’t the case, but thinking about Logan’s heightened senses, he pondered the thought of Logan picking up on his discontent. Would Logan be able to take in Scott’s embarrassment and nervousness at being found out? Would Logan find a way to humiliate Scott for being so nosy? Could he see that Scott was uneasy with the way things had played out by the window, or worse would he be able to sense the erection that had formed in Scott’s pajama pants, hard and eager to put a new spin on the visual imagery that Scott had taken in at his window sill?

“Pull yourself together,” Scott chastised himself again. He curled his fingers into fists at his sides, silently punching the wall behind him. A moment later he pushed himself away from his hiding spot, listening as the sound of Logan’s bedroom door closing indicated that he’d be safe for the night. Drawing in a breath, Scott looked to his bed, finding it to be anything, but comforting as he slowly walked across his room to prepare for a restless morning in the blankets thinking about things that he shouldn’t.

“You have to push past this,” Scott mouthed to himself. He shook his head and sighed reaching for his robe tie as he approached the foot of his bed. He looked down at the sheets hating that he’d be spending the next few hours caught up in them with the scent of Jean lingering upon them. That was the wake-up call that Scott needed to push his slip up behind him and focus on trying to get through his exhaustion.

Frowning, Scott discarded his robe, grudgingly shuffling to his side of the bed when he heard a tapping sound on his bedroom door. At first, he thought he’d imagined it, but a moment later it was there again so faint that Scott wondered if he could just pretend it wasn’t there. A small rap-tap-tap followed by silence until another one followed.

“Fuck,” Scott cursed contemplating reaching for his robe, but instead he simply tugged at the bottom of his plain, white t-shirt and sucked it up. Whatever it was he could push through it until finally he could return to his office and focus on anything, but the dreams of a life that could never be.

Shuffling towards the door, Scott prepared to put on a pleasant face when he reached for the knob. Before he could grab it, the door swung open and Logan pushed into his room with an agitated expression on his face. There was the distinct scent of whiskey on his breath and the flaring of his nostrils when he marched towards Scott with a low, growling noise upon his lips.

“Like what you saw Slim?” Logan questioned slamming the door to close behind him.

“Logan I…” Scott stammered struggling to come up with the words to say—to explain his invasive actions, but he found himself at a loss when Logan was inside of his room charging at him with a low roar.

“Pervert,” Logan snarled shoving Scott back against the wall again, slamming Scott harder than he’d anticipated. For a moment shock carried over him, his mind racing with wild thoughts and rage when Logan’s rough hands were suddenly upon him, pawing at Scott’s chest. Opening his mouth to protest, Scott found himself instead taking in the bitter taste of Logan’s tongue, rough and wild, sliding into his mouth and pushing past his limits. With a rough slam, Scott felt Logan’s hands at his hips, tearing at his pajama pants and proper white briefs, pushing them roughly down past Scott’s thighs and leaving him exposed to the cool morning air in his room. Before Scott could question it, Logan was down on his knees, wrapping his angry mouth around Scott’s hardened form, licking and suctioning in a rough, uninvited fashion. With each movement of his mouth, Logan’s hands pressed harder, undoubtedly bruising Scott’s hips as he held Scott against the wall. His palms were squeezing at Scott’s bottom, gripping tighter with fingers curving inward threatening to take Scott beyond his comfort zone. He whimpered and twisted attempting to break free from Logan’s hold upon him, but it was no use. Logan had taken control, had staked his claim on Scott and all Scott could do was arch his head back into the wall, pinned and bound to Logan’s desire. Whimpering Scott reached out, tangling his fingers through Logan’s wild, unruly hair forcing Logan forward, attempting to urge Logan to take him in deeper to the warmth of his mouth—to make him forget about everything, but the feel of Logan’s tongue teasing over every ridge and contour of his body, wild and reckless, lapping at Scott’s skin and bringing a tingling sensation over his every synapse. It was enough for Scott to cry out, to buck his hips forward and arch his head back into the wall. He bit down on his bottom lip attempting to stifle his desire, hoping like hell that they didn’t wake any of the others up. Pleasure coiled inside of him, building and tingling from deep within, making him hotter than he could imagine being, wild and reckless in his submissive positioning. Allowing Logan to claim his body, to consume him in the most primitive of fashion caused Scott to close his eyes tightly and whimper, giving himself over to desire, desperate and pleading, wanting nothing more than to fall apart at the seams with Logan’s mouth around him forcing him to come undone.

“Slim,” Logan spoke his name as Scott cried out, spilling himself into Logan’s warm mouth without hesitation repeatedly, in hard, jerking shudders until finally the sound of the slamming door caused Scott’s eyes to snap open giving way to the realization that he was still pressed up against the wall next to the window.

Perspiration covered Scott’s body as his labored breath revealed the truth in his moment. His hand was wrapped tightly around his body, buried deep in his pants when the door slam brought him back to the reality that Logan was in his own room, far from Scott’s twisted psyche and away from the embarrassment that Scott had brought upon himself. Guiltily Scott looked down to his own fingers gripping over his softening length, knowing full well that the fantasy alone had been enough to make him come undone harder than he had in a while. With Logan on his mind, he’d given in to temptation using his hand to fill in the missing pieces when thoughts of his colleague consumed him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Scott chastised himself with a shudder. Guiltily he pulled his hand out of his pants and looked down to the mess he’d made of his pajamas. Shaking his head, he tried to pull himself together, to return to reason and logic. He pushed his pajama pants and briefs down over his thighs knowing only too well what the others would think of him in having thought about his teammate in such a naughty fashion.

“Damn it,” Scott bent down reaching for his pajama bottoms and balling them up in his palm. He moved over towards the hamper opening it up and pushing them down to the bottom when embarrassment overtook him. He tried to slow down his racing heart, to stop from tingling at the thought of how the idea of his fantasy Logan had taken him past the edge, but when he heard the tapping at his door, his blood went ice cold.

Standing upright, Scott swallowed down hard, turning towards the door and wondering if his actions had caused someone to hear him. His face grew red, his mind filled with the words he would struggle to say as he closed his hamper. He reached for his robe, attempting to put it on and feign an air of normalcy when the tapping stopped.

“Get yourself together,” Scott warned reaching for the knob. He hesitated to pull away long enough to make sure that his robe tie was knotted securely around his waist. Taking in a few calming breaths, he paused long enough to force himself to stay focused enough to get through whatever painful exchange awaited him. However, when he opened the door, he discovered that the hallway was empty. Stepping out into the hallway, he looked to the left and then to the right, towards the direction of Logan’s room, but found that his door was closed tightly.

“Thank God,” Scott mouthed preparing to step back into his room when he looked down to discover a bottle of same whiskey that he and Logan had shared with one another back in Boston positioned in front of his door. Looking over towards Logan’s room again, Scott wondered if Logan had deposited it there on his return to the school. Then again when Scott had spied on Logan, he hadn’t seen anything in Logan’s hand. He couldn’t have brought the bottle up with him, or had he? Bending down Scott reached for it, attempting to pull it up from the ground when he noticed the tiny white paper folded in half and tied with a gold string around the neck of the bottle.

“What the…?” Scott questioned reaching for the paper and extracting it from the bottle. With the neck of the bottle in his left hand and the paper in his right, he found himself focusing on the typed words on the page before him as he read them aloud, “To help you sleep.”

“Sleep,” Scott repeated taking another look at the bottle before him. For a moment he found himself returning to Boston, to the uneasy conversation he and Logan had with one another before their return to the school. For a moment he felt flashes of their mission enter into his thoughts, pulling him from the repressed memory that he’d hoped to skirt somewhere in the back of his mind away from his friends and from Jean long enough for him to get his head on straight. Granted he hadn’t forgotten, but he’d become a master of blocking it out—of pretending that things hadn’t gotten tense in Boston over a situation that wouldn’t change.

“Damn it Logan,” Scott grumbled looking to the bottle again and wondering if Logan had given it to him as a means of drumming up their mission again—of forcing him to return to the thoughts of what had taken place in their motel room when the rest of the team was back at the school. Then again neither one of them had mentioned it. Instead Logan had taken to leaving each night and Scott had…well, beyond obsessing over what Logan was doing, he’d attempted to keep it together—to force his focus elsewhere until…

 _“You touched yourself after spying on him in a moment of weakness,”_ a voice inside of his head condemned him all over again. Frowning Scott squeezed his fingers around the neck of the bottle tighter than before. He reached for the door, bringing it to a close in his retreat. He turned the lock and looked at the bottle again. It served as a painful reminder of what alcohol and frustration brought to his life, but in knowing that Logan had simply offered it to him as what he could only assume was a peace treaty, Scott set it on his nightstand and contemplated it’s meaning.

“So much for sleep,” Scott frowned knowing only too well that there was no way he would be resting when there was still so much left unsaid with the man that he’d promised himself that he would work hard to forget. However, as Scott looked over to his hamper thinking about his actions, he knew only too well that it would be easier said than done now that Logan was the only thing on his mind.


	2. Euphoria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott's search for truth about Logan's whereabouts leads him on a new, surprising path with an unlikely alliance.

**Euphoria:** _a feeling of well-being or elation_

“Where did you go?” Scott questioned with a frown. He pulled into the lot beside the darkened building, attempting to blend in with the environment after he’d taken to following Logan away from the school and into the seedier part of town. It was a place where the streets were lined with strip clubs and sordid bars filled with the kind of people that Scott had hoped to avoid during the waking hours. Now as he sat in the front seat of his car with fingers gripping on the wheel, he surveyed the area watching as a drug deal was taking place on the corner outside of an abandoned restaurant to his left just underneath the blinking streetlight. To his right there were a couple of prostitutes walking the street seeking out a client for the night who would pull them from the cold for a little while. He watched as a car slowed down, barely creeping along the side street to gawk at them until finally one of the women moved over to the window to work out an arrangement for the night. Shaking his head, he looked beyond the car and observed a biker bar with a full parking lot and loud booming music coming out from within.

“Jackpot,” Scott mouthed putting his car into gear and reaching for his turn signal. Bringing the car to a slow crawl, he approached the parking lot scanning it for any sign of Logan’s motorcycle. It seemed a logical destination choice for Logan. However, when Scott had rounded the corner of the adjacent lot, he’d anticipated that he’d discovered Logan’s destination, but disappointment was his only reward for making assumptions about Logan’s whereabouts. Instead he’d soon discovered that Logan’s motorcycle was nowhere in the busy parking lot and that somehow Logan had slipped out of his observation after Scott had been stopped at a traffic light.

“Shit,” Scott cursed preparing to pull away from the parking lot he’d settled into. He was almost ready to give up when he heard the faint, familiar hum of Logan’s motorcycle approaching from the left of where he was. Almost immediately Scott’s eyes darted towards the sound, watching as Logan rounded the corner, turning in the opposite direction of where Scott was sitting idle. Fearing that he was about to be discovered spying on Logan, Scott shuffled with the gear, bringing his car into reverse and slowly moving back further into the parking lot. He watched intently as Logan’s motorcycle decelerated and for a moment Scott found his heart hammering in his chest while his mind condemned him for being so impulsive.

 _“He’s never going to believe this is by chance,”_ a voice in his head reminded him when Logan’s motorcycle moved beyond the driveway of the parking lot that Scott was waiting in. Scott held his breath anticipating the turn Logan would make into the lot beside him and the inevitable embarrassment he would feel when Logan discovered Scott seated in his car spying on him. It was all going to be a big clusterfuck with no logical explanation except Scott realized that Logan wasn’t turning into the bar’s lot.

“Where are you going?” Scott frowned when it seemed Logan was headed towards a different destination. A moment of relief carried over Scott as he crouched down in his seat simply observing Logan. When he realized that Logan was far enough away not to notice Scott tailing him, he started the car up again, slowly pulling out of the lot in order to move in the direction that Logan had gone off in. Within seconds Scott found that he was driving out of the seedy part of town and moving towards the area that even those slumming it had opted to forget. In between the lingering remains of the fires set by rogue arsonists and the crumbling foundations was the remains of the urban industrial area that had once housed great work plants and warehouses that were used for import and export shipping. It seemed like an unlikely area for Logan to be spending his time as Scott paused at a graffiti covered stop sign. He looked around wondering if he’d lost Logan again, but after a moment’s contemplation he drove forward hoping like hell he would get a sign.

“Where are you?” Scott observed the area again taking note of the riverbank overrun by the same dilapidated environment. It was littered with trash and broken benches, filled with graffiti on the walls near the boardwalk with rusted, broken chains serving as a flimsy barrier to the darkened water beyond the tired world that surrounded it. On the other side of the road was an old abandoned train track that hadn’t seen any kind of traffic for over a decade. Its tracks were equally littered by time and the remains of the world that once was with an overgrowth of weeds and wildflowers, but it too seemed to prove an unlikely place for Logan’s night out.

“Where could you have gone?” Scott’s fingers clenched tighter around his steering wheel. His knuckles grew white as his grip intensified. Looking around the corner he was stopped at, he realized that it was next to impossible to believe that Logan would drive all the way out here to spend his time getting drunk at the riverbank, lost in his own contemplations. On the far corner of the stop there were a few more abandoned warehouses seemingly devoid of all life as the booming industry that once rocked this area had long since passed. Frowning, he contemplated packing it up and returning to the school, but out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that one of the buildings down the road appeared to have a black light coming from one of the windows.

“Interesting,” he mouthed to himself as he contemplated the world around him. He shifted directions, moving towards the lone lit window wondering if Logan had somehow made his way into the abandoned factory set on spending his time in the wreckage of a world that once was. Slowing his car, Scott hesitated about twenty yards away from the building when he noticed there were two men standing near the adjacent parking structure. Their looming presence seemed to be blocking any kind of traffic from entering the building on the quiet night away from the rest of the world. It seemed that this part of the city had long since expired, but the presence of the men indicated that there was something perhaps nefarious happening in the building that time had forgotten. Inching his car forward, Scott made a further observation noticing that both were built like Colossus, all dressed in black and looking equally uninviting as Scott soon discovered that Logan was walking out of the parking garage. Wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans, he had his hands pushed into his pockets looking almost angry as he stalked towards the men. Scott watched with a new curiosity as Logan’s gruff posture indicated that he was a man on a mission—caught up in the mystery activities that Scott had yet to uncover. With every step he made towards the bouncers, the chip on Logan’s shoulder seemed to intensify. His agitation radiated over the bold steps he made towards the two men, his face cold and distant as they seemed to be unaware of his arrival. Instead they stood stone solid with arms over the broad expanse of their chests with Logan stomping towards them looking ready for a brawl.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Logan, what are you thinking?” Scott made sure his car was in park as he observed the situation taking place. Fearing that Logan was on the attack, he found himself wondering if he would have to step up to provide backup for Logan now that Logan looked pissed off as all hell, out of place and ready for a fight as he marched towards the two men with a scowl on his face. They seemed unphased by his arrival as each one stood firm and powerful at the doorway with arms still tightly folded in front of their chests.

“What are you doing?” Scott questioned edging his car closer to the curb as he began to weigh out the odds in the situation. Granted Scott knew full well that Logan could hold his own against most people, but the two men seemed to be a bit more than most humans. Hell, given their size and their posture, Scott contemplated if they were perhaps mutants as well given that some very powerful, nefarious people had taken to hiring mutant help in the tense political climate growing around them. Scott’s frown intensified as Logan stood before the two men looking armed and ready for a fight. He seemed to grumble at one of the men catching their attention. While Scott couldn’t hear the words, he could sense that the man seemed almost irritated to have Logan before him. There were a few words exchanged as Logan held his hands at his sides, curling his fingers into fists. There were a few more words exchanged causing the man to nod and step aside to allow Logan access to a weathered, graffiti covered doorway that Scott hadn’t seen upon initial observation.

“Where are you going?” Scott asked watching as Logan walked beyond the bouncers through the hidden doorway and into the remains of a world that Scott could only speculate about. Observing the abandoned buildings that surrounded him once again, Scott contemplated doing research and looking up the history of the street up on a search engine to see what was there but given the level of decay of the landscape around him, he imagined his search would come up empty. Aside from Logan and the two men at the doorway it seemed that he was in a place that time had forgotten—away from civilization and any real clues as to what had kept Logan away each night. The thought left Scott unsettled, no longer worried about being discovered in his observations. Instead his curiosity got the best of him, causing him to hypothesize what kind of trouble Logan was getting himself into within the walls of the broken building.

“There’s only one way to find out,” Scott decided moving forward and driving a bit further down the road to take a closer look. He headed straight towards the building Logan had slipped into wondering what secrets lingered within the remains of the building. Looking to the bouncers again, Scott contemplated their presence wondering if they would prove to be trouble for him as he reluctantly pulled his car into the parking garage adjacent to their positioning at the building’s hidden door. He circled around the ramp, sliding up to the first level and pulled the car into a parking spot, observing a few other cars from within the lot, but there was no sign of Logan’s motorcycle.

 _“Good thing,”_ Scott thought to himself as he turned his car off, _“because he won’t be too happy to discover you spying on him.”_

 _“Then again, if you don’t get out of the car and just go home he won’t have a reason to be angry,”_ the same voice coaxed Scott to set his mission aside, to forget about tailing Logan, but after he’d spent three more days waiting and wondering about what was happening with Logan, he’d gotten frustrated. After the night when he’d received the whiskey at his door, he’d hoped that Logan would shed some light on the situation, but again he was met by silence. Logan had avoided him at all costs, which had only further increased Scott’s curiosity to the point that he couldn’t let the issue go. He’d run a million and one ideas through his head, each growing more preposterous than the next in deciphering Logan’s hidden location. The thoughts burned at Scott’s brain, keeping him awake at night wondering just what Logan was getting himself into until finally Scott realized that he needed to know the answer. He couldn’t sit idle at the school creating scenarios for his colleague’s nocturnal departures. Instead he was sitting in the front seat of his car, weighing out his options and wondering why the hell it mattered so much what Logan was doing.

 _“You know why,”_ a voice reminded him as he pulled his keys out of his ignition.

“This is going to be a disaster,” Scott grumbled knowing only too well that he would never hear the end of it if Logan caught Scott spying on him. If Logan had any idea of what Scott was doing obsessing over Logan’s nocturnal habits, then Scott would undoubtedly humiliate himself all over again—far worse than he had the night in his room when he’d been pleasuring himself to the thought of Logan dominating him.

“You really need to get your priorities in check,” he could almost hear Hank chastising him again, cautioning him to rest and let go of the sudden interest in Logan’s activities. The thing was that Hank didn’t know—didn’t really see what was happening with Logan. As much as Scott tried to stress that Logan was different, no one was really listening. Something had changed—something was troubling him, but Scott wasn’t sure that anyone else believed that Logan’s newfound habits were relevant to the here and now. Instead Scott was being dismissed at every twist and turn when he’d expressed an interest in figuring out what was troubling Logan.

Now as he sat in his parked car wondering if his curiosity would be his funeral should Logan discover what Scott had done, Scott knew that he couldn’t simply walk away without an answer to his concerns. Armed with that knowledge, Scott let out a long sigh and opened the driver’s side door to his car. He locked it behind his exit, making sure that he set the alarm and with a false sense of confidence he stood up straighter and walked towards the two men that had welcomed Logan into the door behind them. They stood gruff and imposing, looking every bit as intimidating and mean as Scott observed from his earlier position across the street. The bouncer closest to him had a tribal tattoo over his cheek that Scott readily recognized in his approach.

 _“He is a mutant,”_ Scott thought to himself knowing only too well that the tattoo had belonged to a group of rogue mutants that had banned together to engage in militant activities not that long ago.

About six months earlier Scott had been working a case with Logan where they’d been infiltrating a city across the border where there had been rumors of unsettling activity and a potential assassination that would take place around election time. It had prompted Charles to react, leading Scott and Logan to spend a few weeks undercover with Logan attempting to work his way into the inner circle of the group in question. Ultimately the mission had been a success as Scott and Logan had managed to capture the group’s radical leader, but there were still a great many members out there filled with resentment and a rage over their plans being thwarted by the X-Men. Hell, Scott had even received a few death threats after from gang members who bore the same tattoos as the mutant before him, which only further piqued his curiosity about Logan’s sudden interest in being in such a place.

 _“Could there have been more to the mission than Charles told me?”_ Scott silently questioned wondering if the mission had continued without Scott’s involvement after he and Logan had gotten too close to the flame so to speak. Granted Logan had seemed just as eager as Scott to slip away from the grueling mission, but now with Logan placing himself willingly in the path of those they’d considered enemies, he had to question his colleague’s logic and reasoning.

 _“Some could say the same about you,”_ that inner voice warned Scott with each step he made towards the man at the door. For a moment, he found himself worried that there was a chance that the man might recognize his face—that somehow the man was a part of the chapter of the group that Logan had infiltrated and that upon seeing Scott it would trigger a reminder of the target that still lingered upon Scott’s back.

 _“No time to worry about that now,”_ the voice added as Scott resigned himself to his fate. He made his choice and for better or worse, he was going to find a way into that club. How just depended upon how cordial he could prove to be with the rough looking man before him.

“You’ve got this,” he mouthed under his breath. He rolled his shoulders back and stood up taller, puffing his chest out and silently thanking himself for his wardrobe selection in having stepped away from his usual attire in favor of dressing in all black for his undercover stakeout. He reached up to the top button on his shirt, unbuttoning it as he thought about Logan’s curious destination. He paused for a moment hoping that he didn’t give himself away with the glasses on his face. Granted there was nothing he could do about them, but he had to find a way to break away from the prim and proper field leader that he’d proved to be on most occasions. Now wasn’t the time for self-doubt, but it wasn’t the time for tidiness either. Instead he continued undoing a couple more buttons before he reached up into his hair attempting to come off as less proper. Granted in his current mental state Hank would undoubtedly argue that Scott was coming unhinged for putting himself in potential harm’s way without backup, but it wasn’t about what Scott was or wasn’t doing. Now was about discovering what Logan was up to even if it was the last thing that Logan wanted.

“You can do this,” Scott mouthed to himself as he prepared to face down the two bouncers that stood outside the mystery door Logan had entered. Saying nothing, Scott pushed forward on the sidewalk, attempting to look like he belonged there when the tattooed man standing closest to him tipped his head down to assess Scott with a neutral expression on his face.

“Hi,” Scott swallowed down nervously, “Quiet night, isn’t it?”

“What do you want?” the man questioned in a gruff, dismissive tone.

“I’m here to…” Scott paused realizing that he hadn’t worked up a cover story on his way over to the door. He’d thought about a million other things, but his cover story hadn’t been the one thing that had guided his thoughts. Instead he’s contemplated the situation in finding Logan. Now as the tattooed man glared down at him, he realized that his lack of preparation was about to catch up to him.

“Password,” the tattooed man grumbled folding his arms tighter around his broad, muscular chest. He tipped his chin down, revealing the hard lines of his steely jaw as Scott noticed the tattooed black tears upon the cheek opposite of the one that Scott had been observing earlier.

“Yeah, about that. You see I’m…” Scott stammered wondering why he hadn’t thought to play it cool and get more information before going for the gusto in walking into disaster. Instead he stood before a potential threat, with his hand down at his side, calculating the time it would take to put the two bouncers out of commission if push came to shove. Instead he attempted to play it cool a few moments longer, “I’m actually…with him…”

“With who?” the other, more subdued looking bouncer questioned glaring down at Scott from his position at the far side of the door. His face was equally as hard as the first bouncer, but his eyes were a pale lime green color with lizard black irises. His skin was a pale golden color, revealing that he, too, was indeed a mutant. However, unlike his companion he was devoid of any visible tattoos.

“The man that just entered. The one with the black t-shirt and…” Scott struggled to get the words out, “He and I were supposed to meet in the garage, but I was running behind and…”

“Password,” the tattooed bouncer spat back at him with a snarl.

“Right,” Scott rubbed his palms flat against his slacks, attempting to find a suitable answer when he looked between the two men wondering what play would work for him in the moment.

“Listen son,” the second bouncer stepped forward with a snarl, “You aren’t getting through this door without a password, so you’d better provide it now or be on your way before we make you leave and trust me, you don’t want that.”

“You want to let me in there,” Scott blurted out as he looked between the two men wondering if he could find a way to get through the situation unscathed without blowing his cover. His fingers twitched at his side, rubbing over the side of his pant leg as he struggled with his conscience. Giving into impulse like Logan would do, he could have easily blasted the men, sending them to the ground in an unconscious state if they hadn’t expected it. Then again, given that Scott couldn’t read anything about their mutations, he contemplated the effectiveness of such a move. It could prove to be risky, but then again it could be a win into gaining access. However, he knew full well that to do so would undoubtedly blow his cover and Logan would be furious with Scott for stalking him.

“Why would we want to do that?” the tattooed bouncer questioned gruffly.

“Because I’m not the kind of person you want to have this conversation with,” Scott answered firmly. He curled his fingers into a fist at his left sigh, weighing out his options once again. Thinking about Logan inside, he wondered what kind of trouble Logan was getting into as he tipped his head up to look at the lone lit window high above where he was, “My associate is going to be very upset if I don’t meet up with him and…”

“I don’t give a damn who your associate is,” the first bouncer snarled preparing to move in towards Scott. He stretched his arms out revealing their massive span as Scott reached up to his glasses wondering if things were about to get ugly for him, “without a password you aren’t going to be able to step one foot inside of this place unless…”

“Homo superior,” a firm, feminine voice called out from behind Scott catching him off guard. He turned around to discover a petite, unassuming brunette woman with a pixie cut standing behind him with a tiny black dress on and a scowl on her face. She had a miniature purse draped over her shoulder, a hardened expression on her face and eyes that would make the strongest of men fall to her feet, doing anything they could to avoid her wrath. In an instant, he found himself surprised and impressed when she moved forward to wrap her arm in his as if they’d always been meant to be standing together in that moment, “He’s with me.”

“Ye—yes, of course he is madam,” the original bouncer stammered immediately stepping aside and granting her access to the forbidden door that Scott was initially denied access to.

“Shall we?” she questioned squeezing at Scott’s bicep in a movement meant to detract from the guard’s suspicions of him. Picking up on her willingness to help him, Scott fought to contain his relieved sigh when placed his hand on top of hers and smiled down at her.

“Of course, darling,” Scott grinned widely. He turned his attention to the bouncers before flashing them an overly smug grin and offering up a small glare, “If you would kindly step aside…”

“Yes…certainly,” the bouncer seemed shaken—almost terrified at Scott’s companion as the door swung open to reveal a darkened staircase leading downward instead of up towards the light that had captured Scott’s attention.

“We’d best be on our way,” Scott’s companion leaned in closer and whispered in his ear as Scott moved forward walking past the intimidating bouncers and into the darkness. Within a matter of seconds his eyes adjusted to the black lighting in the room that revealed neon, glowing paint along the walls. Beyond the landing he noticed that the staircase was extremely narrow leading down to a mystery world that Scott hadn’t contemplated before now. Before he could question it, he heard the door they’d just walked through slamming and leaving them alone in the quiet corridor with one another.

“What are you doing here Summers?” his companion abrasively questioned tugging at his arm as he prepared to take the first step down to their mysterious destination.

“Agent Hill,” Scott stiffened against her hold on him. Her grip that had once been loose and playful to buy them access into the building was now gripping in a firm warning, commanding his full attention. He turned towards her, tilting his head down and catching the angry scowl that had clouded her otherwise flawless features. Now she’d taken what charm she’d carried with her and was in professional mode sizing him up for the time being, “long time no see. What are you doing here?”

“Clearly something far more thought out than you are,” she leaned in closer to him. Tilting her head up, she seemed to be scrutinizing him in her quiet moment of contemplation, “Did Charles Xavier send you here?”

“What if he did?” Scott bluffed wondering just what here was as Maria stood before him looking as eager to interrogate him as she’d been in all their previous encounters. He’d always had a mutual respect with her, but often they’d clashed when the interests of mutants and the government had failed to coincide. From what he’d known of her, she was brash and determined, ready to do what was necessary to get the job done, which admittedly had been a quality that Scott had admired. However, with her agitated eyes upon him, he realized that they appeared to be bound for yet another inevitable clash. Taking the cues from her posture, he found himself wondering what interest S.H.I.E.L.D. had in such a place in sending in one of their top agents, “I could ask you who sent you here as well, but given your position it isn’t much of a stretch to believe that we both share a mutual purpose in being here.”

“Damn it! I knew Xavier wouldn’t leave well enough alone even though he’s been warned to back off,” Maria scoffed releasing Scott’s arm with a pinched hiss. She shifted on her feet adjusting her heels with a clicking sound, but it didn’t seem to stop the wheels turning in her head over Scott’s arrival, “Charles Xavier may think that he holds the cards on this, but you listen to me. This is our case. We’re the ones who have been working all this time, putting in all these hours and…”

“Look,” Scott offered up bringing his hands into the air beside him in a movement meant for surrender. He slumped his shoulders down in an unassuming shrug before speaking up in a cool, casual tone, “no one is trying to step on your toes here. We realize what you have been doing and Charles appreciates the hours you’ve put into this. I understand that our interests don’t always coincide, but tonight I can assure you that I’m not here under official business. Tonight, I’m just coming in here to observe and gain intel before…”

“Your intelligence had clearly failed you given that you couldn’t even find it in you to get through the front door,” she wrinkled her nose at him dismissively, “Do you have any idea who you were talking to out there?”

“I have some,” Scott replied thinking about the tattooed bouncer.

“Then you realize the risk you’ve taken in coming here tonight,” her frown intensified, “He might not have recognized your face right away, but we both know that his colleagues are willing to pay top dollar to see your imminent demise take place.”

“Worried about me Agent Hill?” Scott arched a curious brow, “I’m flattered to think that you care about my well-being.”

“I care about the integrity of my case and the last thing I need is you getting yourself murdered and screwing this up for me,” she cut back sharply. Her eyes were devoid of sentiment as the dark corners of her lips curved downward into a deep scowl, “You are a liability and the moment that man recognizes who you are…”

“He didn’t give a damn who I was especially after you arrived,” Scott hesitated before weighing out his words, “which I suppose thanks are in order. I appreciate the assistance and…”

“We didn’t need a massacre outside of the club,” she cut him off abruptly. She adjusted the purse strap over her shoulder before speaking up once again, “If you want to get through tonight unscathed, you’d be best suited to keep your mouth shut, keep your eyes forward and stay close to me.”

“Of course,” Scott nodded knowing only too well that the first moment he could, he would slip away from her, but for now he would see what she knew about this place Logan had entered moments earlier. However, with her agitation building in the air between them, he simply issued her a sly smirk, unable to repress his amusement in thinking about what he’d unknowingly entered into, “after all I wouldn’t want to step on any toes in all of this…figurately so to speak.”

“If you find a way to screw this up tonight, you won’t have to worry about a potential hit on your head. I’ll save the assassin the trouble and do it myself,” she moved in closer to him. Her eyes were filled with venom, her words meant to intimidate him as she placed a palm on his shoulder. She smoothed out his black, button down shirt, sliding her fingers over his arm before she spoke up in a sharp, warning tone, “You stand by my side, but stay out of my way or else things will get very ugly for you very fast.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior,” Scott paused unable to mask the amusement that somehow carried over him in knowing that he’d prove to not only uncover Logan’s truth, but that he would be a thorn in S.H.I.E.L.D’s side in the process, “After all I’m sure you’ve heard that I have a reputation for being the ultimate boy scout.”

“It depends on who you ask,” she released his shoulder and scoffed offhandedly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Scott couldn’t help, but question with a frown.

“I’ve spent some time with your wife recently,” Maria’s words hit hard, penetrating him with that sharp, jabbing sting that caused Scott to take a step back and increase the distance between them, “She’s offered up quite a bit of insight on the kind of man you are as of late.”

“Bullshit,” Scott clenched his jaw. He took in a breath and attempted to recover hoping to call what he hoped was her latest bluff, “Jean wouldn’t tell you anything about me.”

“Truth be told she doesn’t have to,” she conceded dropping the rouse, “Your dossier speaks for itself.”

“As does yours,” Scott tossed back weakly knowing only too well she’d spotted the momentary weakness in him at the mention of Jean’s name. Still, in thinking about what he’d set out to do for the evening, he forced his insecurities from his mind and reminded himself why he was there to begin with. Armed with that knowledge, he made a silent promise to cooperate with Agent Hill while it served his purpose. After that all bets were off.

“Good. I’m glad that we sorted that out,” she decided shifting gears on their conversation. She reached for his arm again, wrenching it tightly and keeping him close to her as they bypassed conversation in favor of beginning their descent the long staircase beneath the ground level, “If anyone asks any questions about your presence with me this evening, you simply explain that you’re here as my partner.”

“Partner?” Scott repeated stopping mid-movement as they stood in the cramped quarters surrounded by neon graffiti on the walls. He looked down to her hold on his arm as her scowl returned, “Is that so?”

“Not that kind of partner,” she frowned releasing his arm with a scoff, “We are global business associates and I’m showing you a night on the town. Once we get inside and meet with the buyer, I’ll do all the talking and…”

“Just what are we walking into?” Scott couldn’t help, but question.

“Didn’t Xavier tell you what we were doing here?” she stopped herself when curiosity seemed to be brewing behind her eyes. Surprise registered in her features, but almost as soon as it revealed itself, she returned to a moment of long, intense scrutiny of Scott’s behaviors, “Neither he nor your wife told you what you were walking into, did they?”

“What does Jean know about this?” Scott couldn’t help, but frown.

“She’s been working closely with us on this particular situation we’ve found ourselves in,” Maria answered with what Scott could only guess were the wheels turning in her mind, “Although I would’ve imagined that she would’ve disclosed the information with you given the level of severity of this particular mission at hand.”

“And what might that be exactly?” Scott questioned realizing that she was attempting to size him up all over again, “What information are you hoping that I’m harboring on this particular mission?”

“If you have to ask, then I’m certain your wife didn’t share the details with you.”

“My wife isn’t relevant to what I’m doing here tonight,” Scott asserted with a clenched jaw, “She’s on a mission of her own away from this particular case so…”

“Xavier likes to keep it at both ends doesn’t he,” she mused. She adjusted the flimsy gold, metallic purse strap over her shoulder once again, “Granted I don’t know if I would’ve started with bringing you into this with your face, but…”

“What’s wrong with my face?” Scott questioned with a small scowl.

“You look corruptible,” she answered readily, “and far too innocent to be working through the ranks so to speak.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” Scott offered up with a cryptic smirk. He leaned in closer to her wiggling a suggestive brow, “perhaps my good guy persona is all an illusion to cover up the bad boy that I’ve become through the years.”

“Oh, you truly have been spending too much time with Logan through the years,” she broke into a small burst of laughter. Pressing her palm over his chest, she patted it lightly to control her amusement, “He seems to be wearing off on you in all the wrong ways.”

“Logan?” Scott repeated catching the hint of something further in her tone, “Why would you mention him?”

“Given the proximity that you’ve been keeping with him over the last year or so,” her words trailed off into a salacious smirk, “Why wouldn’t we think to mention him?”

“I didn’t realize that interpersonal relationships of the X-Men were of any interest to S.H.I.E.L.D,” Scott tossed back in his most neutral tone, “I wouldn’t imagine the mundane workings of our teams would provide any insight upon your case here.”

“You’d be surprised what kind of insight our intel truly provides us,” she added with a shake of her head, “No matter. That has no influence upon the here and now.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Scott agreed looking around the darkened passage, “right now is about doing what Charles sent me to do tonight.”

“Because you’ve been doing such a stellar job up until this point,” she scoffed.

“Keep trying to shake my confidence, but it isn’t going to make a difference with me Agent Hill,” Scott put on his best poker face transforming from the man desperate to locate Logan to the field leader who was more than capable of holding his own on a mission, “We’re wasting time as far as I can tell, which indicates to me that perhaps you aren’t as prepared for this mission as you claim to be.”

“And you’re full of shit, which perhaps is a sign that Charles Xavier is not as informed about this particular situation as we initially thought,” she seemed to relax. Her lips pinched together in a moment of scrutiny before the corners of her mouth lifted ever so slightly, “To have the great Cyclops here without the proper intel uninformed about the mission and…”

“I’m not uninformed,” Scott bluffed hoping she wouldn’t be on to him now that their stalling had proven to be a frustration for the both of them, “I’m merely trying to see what you know before I give up what information I have.”

“Fine,” she huffed turning her attention to the staircase once again, “Play it your way, but again S.H.I.E.L.D runs the show tonight.”

“That’s fair,” Scott conceded stepping aside and allowing her to move ahead of him, “for now.”

“Don’t even think about fucking this up for me Summers,” she paused looking over her shoulder at him, “because if you do, I will bury you.”

“There’s no need,” Scott shrugged allowing her to take charge of whatever mission she was on while he focused on his. Wondering what Logan had gotten himself into, he pondered if Logan had been working with Agent Hill, doing double duty as he had often done in the past on Avengers missions.

“I’m surprised that Xavier didn’t have you dress up a bit more,” she wrinkled her nose dismissively, “You would’ve thought he would want you to look the part…”

“Of your partner?” Scott questioned moving in behind her, “I thought that was an impromptu decision on your end when…”

“No offense, but you’re the last person to look like you belong here,” Maria answered as they reached a landing halfway down the steps, “You’re too clean cut to be here. Despite your ill thought attempt at convincing me otherwise we both know that you look like the ultimate Boy Scout and that’s going to blow your cover if you aren’t careful.”

“I can blend,” Scott frowned as she stepped forward to press her fingers over the center of his shirt.

“No, you don’t,” Maria plucked at a couple more buttons opening his shirt down to the center of his chest. Once she was finished, she reached out to mess his hair up a bit more, offering up a more loose, tousled look before she stepped back to give him a long, hearty once over, “but perhaps your obvious mutation with give us an advantage.”

“How so?” he arched a curious brow behind his glasses.

“This could work,” she paused biting down on her bottom lip for a moment in quiet contemplation, “Then again you could be a liability as well.”

“How so?” he questioned.

“As we discussed before you’re not exactly an unknown in these parts,” she explained, “someone like our friend at the door is bound to recognize you and when they do, again, you let me do all the talking. You stand there and look pretty until you are asked to do otherwise.”

“Fine,” Scott agreed catching her pleased expression as his submission to her demands. He hesitated thinking about what had brought him to this place before he spoke up again with a moment of hesitation, “and what of Logan’s role in all of this?”

“Logan?” she repeated wrinkling her brow at him, “Wolverine? What of him? Did you bring him here with you tonight because so help me if he gets involved and out of control like he often does any time he’s ‘helping out’, then…?”

“You mean you weren’t aware that he was here tonight?” Scott questioned realizing that his theory about Logan’s involvement on Maria’s case wasn’t a proper deduction. Instead he was left with more questions than answers.

“Of course not. If he was brought here to complicate things and screw this up, then so help me…” Maria warned sharply.

“He’s not,” Scott quickly promised her as he found himself pondering Logan’s arrival. Spotting her growing agitation, he quickly covered, “You don’t have to worry about him. He’s here to blend into the atmosphere and back me up in case things go south and…”

“Fine, but you’d better keep him in line,” she informed him with a sharp, warning tone, “because if anything goes wrong tonight and we scare away the buyer, then so help me you’re going to wish that…”

“Relax,” Scott raised his hands in the air once again, “we won’t get in your way. In fact, I can stay back while you work the deal if you’re more comfortable with that. I can take in the atmosphere, keep eyes and ears on the place and…”

“We’ll play it by ear,” Maria decided reaching for his arm again, “Just follow my lead.”

“After you,” Scott agreed allowing her to take the first step down into the darkness off the landing.

With each step they took, Scott found himself wondering just what he’d walked into, but for the most part he’d kept his thoughts to himself. Maria had stopped talking leading him to ponder what Logan had been doing pushing through the front door of the seemingly abandoned building. With each step he took, he found himself pulling away from the world that surrounded him in favor of accompanying Maria to her new mission. They descended towards the bottom of the staircase in silence, leaving him to his thoughts of Logan and wondering just what his involvement was in their mysterious destination. Aside from the bouncers and the neon paint on the walls, the setting revealed nothing about what they were about to explore. It was dark and damp, almost musty on the staircase that carried the secrets of the building itself. The more he pondered it, the more he questioned what its purpose was. He soon found out, when he stood before an oversized wooden door encased in a concrete frame and cinderblock that revealed very little about the place he’d entered with Maria.

“Be on your best behavior,” Maria warned raising her arm and waving her jeweled bracelet in front of the tiny black metallic scanner that was mounted within the cinderblock to the right of the door. A moment later there was a beeping sound and an array of numbers moving in correlation to the scan of her bracelet until finally a clicking sound popped and the door swung open to reveal the first teasing hints of light pouring out into the darkened, graffiti covered staircase. The warmth associated with it rushed out almost immediately illuminating the darkened path Scott and Maria had taken moments earlier to reveal a room full of people scattered around various gaming tables.

Watching as Maria took a step into the room, Scott shuffled in behind her discovering that the room was a hidden casino filled with upscale slot machines, high stakes card tables and roulette transforming the dilapidated abandoned building to a new underground world where those with power and prestige could gamble on life and throw away their fortunes on a whim surrounded by expensive champagne, hors d'oeuvres and even more expensive entertainment. To his left Scott discovered a grand stage with expensive lighting and a crimson colored backdrop. The wooden carvings upon the stage hinted at an era long gone by of old-time elegance and charm, telling a story that began long before this casino popped up within the walls of the broken building. Its beauty was remarkable as Scott looked to the sculptures at the sides of the stage. They were gargoyle type figurines carved out of marble and concrete, built during an era of excess and secret pleasures from the outside world. The scene in itself was breathtaking offering a taste of days past, but as Scott looked to the dancers on stage, all dressed in scantily clad gold and silver flapper costumes, moving to the frenzied beat that rivaled those scenes from old black and white movies from the 1920s that Scott had caught from time to time, he realized that the casino was hoping to keep in times with that era. The music was jazz at its finest, something that he was certain that Hank would enjoy if he’d been able to see the world around him, yet in thinking about the path he’d taken into the building, Scott knew this pleasure paradise undoubtedly contained nefarious, hidden secrets that he was yet to discover.

“Keep moving,” Maria encouraged reaching for Scott’s arm again, “Stay focused on the mission and forget about all of this…”

“But…” Scott opened his mouth to question her but fell to silence again as they moved beyond the stage. They continued to walk past the tables and the crowd, headed deeper into the upscale hideaway with the jazz music swirling around them, working to create an upbeat atmosphere filled with laughter and drinking. The sounds of the gamblers, caught up in their own pleasure paradise, indulging in their desires offered up a stark contrast to the world outside the walls of the casino. Outside was the epitome of hell, but inside it seemed that nirvana had found a place in the deep underground.

“This isn’t what it seems,” Maria cautioned as a woman in a red sequin mini gown rushed across their path throwing her arms around a man in a black tuxedo at the roulette table. Her laughter was fierce as she tossed her head back allowing her long, auburn hair to cascade over her bare shoulders. He watched the man she embraced reach up over his shoulder to place his hand atop of hers in a casual squeeze before he focused on his game at hand. The woman, placated by the touch, sauntered up beside him, sliding her arm around the man’s waist as Scott’s thoughts returned to Jean—imagining a time when she would’ve readily stood beside him as the gambler’s companion had offering her support and company.

“Scott?” Maria questioned breaking him away from the lingering, condemning thoughts of days gone by. He took in a breath and shook the distant threat of memories in the back of his mind. Clearing his throat, he forced himself to look away from the woman and back to the path in front of him, carefully surveying the rest of the room to see what was still ahead of him.

“This seems…” Scott paused contemplating his words as Maria held onto his arm in a tight grip, “excessive.”

“It is,” she agreed in a neutral tone. Instead of discussing it further, they kept walking away further away from the main gambling room, from the drinks and the laughter, headed towards an unknown destination. As Scott took in his surroundings, he couldn’t help, but wonder how in the hell Logan had ended up here. As far as Scott could see the room was surrounded by nothing short of the elite. He would’ve been a fool not to notice the familiar faces in the crowd of politicians and influencers who’d worked hard to establish themselves in the media. With each step he took, he found himself wondering just how Logan fit into this eclectic crowd given his gruff persona. Truth be told, it was far from being Logan’s scene, but still Scott had witnessed Logan entering the same ominous doorway and moving towards what Scott could guess was a millionaire’s paradise.

“Don’t let the illusion fool you,” Maria squeezed at Scott’s arm. She pulled him along as she crossed the room with a determined stride, “This is only phase one of the illusion.”

“Phase one?” he asked with an arched brow.

“It’s the pleasure principle,” she explained simply as if somehow, he knew what she was talking about.

“How so?”

“The ideology surrounding this place feeds into the most basic of urges, fulfilling those primitive, instinctual desires without consequence,” she explained curling her fingers around his bicep in a small squeeze, “Everyone here is seeking out to facilitate those desires and urges, attempting to seek out that immediate gratification that they are unable to experience in the real world.”

“So, it’s about bringing to life a fantasy?” Scott arched a curious brow behind his glasses.

“In the most basic form of all of this, I suppose that would be a fitting hypothesis, but this place is beyond the need fulfillment business. Everything manufactured here is done so with one clear goal in mind,” she continued lowering her voice, “True pleasure is the ultimate goal for those who step into this world.”

“And we’re here why exactly?” Scott couldn’t help but ask wondering again how Logan’s arrival fit into the plan. Scanning the room, he discovered that Logan was nowhere in sight, which prompted him to question if perhaps Logan had been working deep cover. Then again as he observed a few bouncers near the gaming tables, he wondered if perhaps Logan was working as hired muscle, playing lapdog to some wealthy elite looking for extra security for his night of hedonism.

“This is about wish fulfillment,” she explained. She leaned in closer to him before nodding to one of the bouncers that stood near the far end of the casino observing the crowd before him, “This is to test the waters and get a taste for what we’re looking for before the veil is lifted once and for all.”

“What are we looking for exactly?” Scott finally asked again wondering just what Logan was getting himself into. Surveying the various tables, he still came up empty in spotting Logan.

“The key to the experience,” she stopped moving long enough to look over at him in silent observation, “Xavier really didn’t clue you in on any of this, did he?”

“Not nearly enough,” Scott replied opting for a different approach in his honesty, “I wasn’t working this one with him until earlier tonight. The rest of my team had to go off on another mission, so I’m a last-minute replacement. It didn’t leave much time for a full disclosure and…”

“I imagine that wasn’t left to chance,” Maria scrutinized him further, “He must’ve decided that the less you know, the less of a chance you stand to be compromised.”

“Just what does he think will compromise me?” Scott couldn’t help, but question while dividing his attention between her and his surroundings, “Is this about that buyer of yours?”

“What they are selling is something that…” she paused contemplating her words, “Summers, this place is all about the experience.”

“Clearly I can see that, but in them selling an illusion,” Scott glanced around the room again seeing the laughter and hedonism that was around him, “It just feels like any other place where the wealthy elite can come together and exploit their prestige over the rest of the world with their shameless exploits.”

“They are merely a smokescreen for the real power that bleeds through these walls,” Maria answered cryptically, “What you see now and what is here beneath the surface…”

“What?” Scott questioned eyeing her curiously. He could see she was struggling with her thoughts, lost in contemplation over what they were about to embark upon with one another, “Maria?”

“This isn’t nearly as deep as it will be,” she explained drawing in an uneasy breath. She opened her mouth to speak, preparing to say something more when the jazz tune ended followed by the sounds of an uproarious applause. The noise seemed to catch her off guard prompting her to tense up beside him. Her hand immediately dropped down to her purse when Scott made the deduction that she had a hidden weapon within its contents.

“What is really happening here?” Scott questioned unable to quell his newfound curiosity, “With all of this on display it would seem that we’re merely infiltrating the lifestyles of the pompous wealthy windbags that…”

“You need to curb your resentment,” she cautioned gripping her purse closer to her hip, “If anyone picks up on that in the slightest bit…”

“I can’t be the first person to walk through here that thought this was excessive,” Scott noted tipping his head down to look at her once again. He took in the sweet scent of fruity drinks and alcohol that surrounded him, bringing him to an awareness of the crowd all over again. Turning away from her, he found himself focused beyond the bar where there was a familiar looking, bald man dressed in an elegant white suit seated at a luxurious, red velvet covered booth with two slender, manicured beauties on his arm. He was surrounded by various men in black, much like the mutants at the front door.

“Perhaps not, but you want to be the first to walk out of here without raising any interest,” she reached out to place her hand over his chest and recapture his focus again, “They can sense when something is amiss here.”

“This entire place is amiss,” Scott noted watching as the man seated at the booth planted a slobbering kiss upon the brunette woman at his side. It was enough to make Scott shudder as he picked up on the woman’s distain in the moment. Despite the smile upon her face, he could see her tense posture and the tiny shudder that swept over her when the man’s hand touched the side of her face. She almost jerked away from the kiss, but he’d coaxed her to continue it, allowing him to kiss her deeply while he reached out to the blonde sitting to his right. He groped at her body causing Scott to take a small step forward and scowl.

“We need to pick our battles wisely tonight if we intend to make it out of here alive Boy Scout,” she cautioned reaching out for his shoulder, “Which brings me to the serum.”

“What serum?” Scott questioned turning his attention away from the velvet booth and its occupants. He looked over his shoulder to discover that Maria’s eyes shifted to another face in the crowd. Wordlessly she stepped in closer to him, bringing her hand up over the side of his chiseled face in a tender, intimate gesture. At first Scott contemplated pulling back, but knowing that she’d rather shoot him, then touch him that way, he leaned into her touch, following her lead, “What are we doing here, really?”

“We’re going to be offered a taste of Euphoria to test its authenticity,” she explained as if the statement should mean something to him, “For the deal I’m brokering tonight, we’re going to do an exchange with my contact to bring me closer to the end game in all of this. We meet with the buyer tonight, boost his confidence about the arrangement and then he will take us to his boss and…”

“I’m not following,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown as her scowl returned. Her eyes were impatient as she surveyed the area once again, “What’s Euphoria?”

“They’re going to want to test the serum out on you, but you’re going to refuse when they offer,” Maria instructed leaning in closer to him, “You’re going to find an excuse to say no.”

“To what exactly?” Scott arched a curious brow as she brushed her thumb over his plump, bottom lip catching him off guard, “What will they try to give me with this Euphoria?”

“You don’t want to know,” she wrinkled her nose at him.

“No, I think I do. I think it is only fair now that we’ve entered into this partnership that you offer a full disclosure,” Scott slurred feeling the warmth of her thumb press into the center of his lips in a strange attempt at silencing him, “Why would they want to offer me some kind of serum?”

“Because there’s no denying that you are special given your obvious mutation. It makes you the perfect candidate to facilitate this deal especially in their eyes. My contact will think that I brought you along to test the authenticity and purity of the product. However, we can’t afford to have them dampening your powers,” Maria explained with a shake of her head, “They will see me bringing you in here with me as a sign of hostility on my part should you decline a taste, but if you keep your mouth shut and let me do all the talking…”

“Dampening my powers?” Scott repeated unable to mask his concern, “How will they dampen my powers?”

“The serum—the Euphoria,” she repeated with agitation in her tone, “That’s what most of them are here for. That’s what we will be bidding on in our exchange.”

“A serum to dampen my powers,” Scott realized what she was saying to him.

She nodded, “We’ve been orchestrating a deal with the state department to pull the dealers out of hiding by offering a weapons exchange for the right price for information on the source of the…”

“Euphoria,” Scott repeated when suddenly it all started to make sense to him, “S.H.I.E.L.D. is here looking for the mythical mutant cure. Am I right?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” she hesitated when she appeared to be shaken for the first time since their reluctant partnership began.

“Then uncomplicate it because from what I’m seeing you’re telling me that the people you work for are looking to make a deal with a drug peddler for a serum that was rumored to have been nothing more than a source of idle gossip since that first ‘miracle cure’ arrived a few years back,” Scott’s voice rose with agitation in spite of his promise to remain calm, “When the government first proposed the idea of a cure before…”

“This isn’t the government,” she argued with him.

“No, this is just their way of allowing someone else to do their dirty work so that they don’t get the brunt of the blame when the start pulling us into concentration camps,” Scott scoffed unable to refrain from feeling his blood boiling, “Your government promised that they would stop on the serum trials when their first witch hunt proved to be failures…”

“The government isn’t behind this Scott,” she attempted to assure him in an uncomfortable moment.

“No? Then how in the hell would someone get their hands on something like this? Unless of course someone else out there went beyond your research and did it better themselves. I mean that’s what this is all about yes? Finding someone who did what the government wasn’t capable of doing the first time around?”

She nodded, “That’s what we are here for…to find the people who have brought this drug into circulation after the government ceased in its production of the failed serum.”

“Because you’re looking to make sure we no longer exist?” Scott’s jaw flexed with anger as the picture became clearer to him, “S.H.I.E.L.D. is looking to eradicate us, aren’t they? They are seeking out a black-market seller on that ridiculous cure that they were talking about in the media not long ago. Even though it was a failure they are hoping that someone perfected it to use as a weapon and now…”

“Whoa,” she reached out to squeeze at the side of his face when a man in a suit that matched the bouncers walked past them, “pump your brakes Summers.”

“No, I’m not going to…” Scott prepared to argue when she rose up on her toes, claiming his mouth in an impromptu kiss. Stunned by her movement, he almost fell backward caught up in the shock and confusion of the experience, but as he spotted the man beside them stopping to observe, he simply obliged her attempt to shut him up. He wrapped his arm around her waist, curling her in closer to his chest as their kiss continued. The movement seemed to satisfy the bouncer as he moved on to observe others in the room.

“You need to keep your voice down. As agitated as you are, you’re going to wind up getting the both of us killed before we get anywhere on the mission,” Maria cautioned as they parted. She patted the center of his muscular chest feigning an intimate gesture to keep their cover while she spoke up in warning, “If you don’t play it cool then…”

“What is this place?” Scott finally cut to the chase, “What did we walk into here?”

“It’s a social club for the elite looking to have a good time,” Maria informed him with an agitated whisper of a breath, “The filthy rich come in here to live out their deprived fantasies of a life that is well beyond their reach.”

“How does the cure factor into this? What exactly is this Euphoria?”

“For non-mutants it’s an artificial euphoria used as a means of heightening their scenes. It plays an opposite effect on humans than it was originally intended for mutants in its initial production,” she answered quietly. Her palm pressed into his black shirt, with fingers uncoiling over the center of his chest in a light massage when she leaned in closer to him to whisper in his ear, “They use it to achieve levels or nirvana that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to obtain without the high it produces for them.”

“I thought the cure was obsolete,” Scott noted with a frown. He felt her hand slide over his shoulder keeping him close as his arm still held over her slender waist, “All of the studies proved that…”

“It was obsolete in depowering mutants long term in its initial trials,” she assured him in a quiet, warning tone, “but that doesn’t mean that it couldn’t be repurposed. For mutants it serves as a temporary power dampener used to…”

“To what?”

“In some cases, in early trials it was used for obedience and submission,” she paused drawing in an uneasy breath when a second bouncer walked in closer to them, “It was used to build complacency and in others…”

“What?” he questioned sensing her hesitation.

“It opens the door to another world,” she explained sliding her fingers into his wavy hair, “It’s provided an opportunity for some of your kind to slip into a fantasy where…”

“What?”

“They are more open to new experiences. It makes them more pliable and willing to enter into an altered state of consciousness,” she pulled away from him when the bouncer that had been nearby seemed to pass them, “Some seek it out and others…”

“…experience it under duress and have it forced upon them,” Scott finished knowingly, “You’re looking to find a way to make us complacent, aren’t you? The government wants a weapon against us and tonight you’re seeking it out.”

“No,” she shook her head adamantly, “I’m here to find out who the supplier is so that we can go after them and…”

“You know who the supplier was. Months ago, the pharmaceutical companies were shut down and…”

“This has evolved past them and in the wrong hands, this could be disastrous for all of us,” she added in warning, “None of us are beyond the devastation this could cause.”

“If the government gets that serum…”

“Two months ago, in Los Angeles, Senator Johnson’s teenage daughter Alison took a swan dive from her hotel balcony after she and her friends experienced Euphoria after a night out on the town,” Marie’s voice added in a quiet, uneasy voice.

“Senator Johnson?” Scott repeated thinking about the man who’d led the charge in the current heated political climate against mutant kind over the last few months.

“His daughter was dating a mutant, whom he’d suspected had provided the Euphoria and…” Maria continued to recount the tale of the prejudiced senator that had made it his mission to eradicate those with special powers that extended beyond the limits of humanity.

“He executed that boy without any proof of his guilt. I remember the case. Hell, I can’t forget it given the witch hunt that followed given that the prosecution argued that his powers led to the girl’s murder,” Scott’s jaw clenched at the memory of the event that had been the final nail in the coffin for human and mutant affairs, “There was no evidence whatsoever that boy did anything wrong when…”

“…the senator’s daughter died, and he was looking for someone to blame,” Maria reminded him as Scott opened his mouth to protest, “He spun the story the way he wanted it to be to further his growing agenda against mutants. I’m not denying that or the fact that some of the facts of the case were suppressed by high ranking officials at the time.”

“That boy was never a threat to anyone,” Scott snapped in recoil. His jaw clenched with anger when his eyes darted back to the booth with the man in white once again. He watched the man pawing at his companions and immediately recognition carried over him, “I knew him. He grew up at the school. He was a good kid who was just looking for happiness and…”

“I agree,” Maria conceded, “I’ve looked over the case and nothing indicates that he had anything to do with what happened to Alison. Senator Johnson was looking for someone to blame and he used this to push his political agenda into overdrive.”

“Of course, he did,” Scott’s words came out in a pinched hiss when he watched the man in white grip at his companion’s wrist in a rough squeeze, “That man is a monster and…”

“Scott,” Maria placed her hand over his chest attempting to soothe his rage, “I know I shouldn’t say it, but I agree with you. From the start I had a strong distrust for him, but given his popularity…”

“He was able to sweep in and spread hate through the world making everyone think that we were the problem,” Scott finished for her. He could hear the distinct sound of screaming coming from the booth when he realized that the brunette-haired woman at the bald man’s side had thrown her drink in his face. The action had prompted him to slam his fist into the table, sending it to pieces onto the floor and taking down all the contents upon it. The second woman beside him gasped and a group of bouncers moved over towards the table to intervene, “Is that…?”

“Scott…” Maria spoke his name sternly. Her fingers dug into his bicep as Scott watched the bouncers surround the angry man. They seemed to build a wall around him while a few more bouncers wrenched the jilted brunette away into a corridor off to the right behind the bar. Feeling an uneasiness settle into the air around him, Scott contemplated what would happen to the woman that had been dragged out of the room, “for now you have to ignore him.”

“But…” Scott frowned.

“You and I both know who he is and what he’s capable of,” Maria squeezed Scott’s arm harder than before, “If you go after him now, then we’ll lose our window of opportunity and this deal will be over before it begins.”

“They’re going to kill her,” Scott deduced watching as the man in white reemerged from the crowd, readjusting his tie with a laugh before snapping his fingers.

“If we go after them, then we all die tonight,” Maria explained in a tight, pinched hiss. Her grip on his arm intensified as Scott watched two of the bouncers drag another table over to where the first one had been positioned. Within a matter of seconds, they had the mess cleaned up and another woman at the bald man’s side filling in the missing spot as his arm candy. As if reading his thoughts, Maria spoke up calmly, “It will be worse for all of us if you follow your instincts on this…especially for her.”

“You can’t honestly tell me that you’re alright with what happened here?” he half questioned looking down at her once again, “We both know that…”

“I’ll find a way to help her,” Maria promised keeping her grip on his arm, “I know that you might not believe that right now, but I can assure you that we aren’t alone in all of this.”

“You mean there are other agents in here that…?” Scott questioned looking around the club once again.

“We can talk about the details later, but I promise you that my team will do everything in their power to keep her out of harm’s way,” Maria assured him with a firm, warning tone, “Right now that isn’t our problem though.”

“No, I suppose it isn’t. Still with what you’ve said to me tonight…”

“I know that it has to be hard to hear the truth after all the lies that the media has poured out over the last few months. It is part of what we are here tonight,” Maria’s voice shifted with a sympathetic strain, “That boy didn’t deserve to die. From all witness accounts Alison’s boyfriend wasn’t the one that acquired the Euphoria and his blood tests revealed that he hadn’t been using at the time, but…”

“Why didn’t anyone mention any of this before?” Scott couldn’t help, but question in thinking about the senator’s tirade upon the world, “If Senator Johnson knew that his daughter died at the hands of this drug being pedaled on the street, then why make it about mutants? Why make it about destroying us when he should be targeting the dealers who are pedaling it?”

“I can’t answer for him, but I will say that you aren’t wrong about him,” Maria’s voice was barely a whisper, “We want to take down his agenda just as much as you do. What he’s doing is wrong and…”

“Is that why we are here?” Scott couldn’t help, but question, “To take him down?”

“We’re here to stop the production of Euphoria if we can help it,” Maria explained stepping in closer to him, “Tonight’s meeting won’t change everything, but if we can get through the ground floor of finding out how high this goes in terms of production…”

“You’re seeking out the supplier,” Scott finished knowingly, “This dealer you’re meeting with it just a tiny fish in the pond and…”

“The dealer is our only link now. I’ve worked months to get him to the point where he’s ready to bring me in to all of this,” she added with her eyes shifting around the room once again, “Our intel believes the drug was manufactured by…”

“What?”

“A very powerful mutant,” Maria answered stiffly, “with an agenda seeking to watch the world burn around them.”

“Bullshit,” Scott argued with her, “No mutant would willingly unleash this kind of terror upon their kind in knowing what kind of outcry a drug of this capacity could bring to…”

“Alison Johnson’s murder was the catalyst to a war that has been years in the making,” Maria informed him with a solemn expression on her face, “It was the key to putting the wheels into motion in bringing the world to its knees. Euphoria was the first step in tipping the scales and…”

“Then why not release that information to the general public? If you were aware of what was taking place during the trial, then why suppress the information about Euphoria and its hand in Alison’s death?” Scott questioned clenching his jaw angrily, “Why let an innocent boy burn for what happened when…?”

“We’re trying to prevent that from happening ever again,” Maria informed him with a raw, desperation in her tone, “What happened to those kids still haunts me and knowing that they went about covering it up makes my blood boil just as much as yours.”

“Then why not step up and do something about providing the truth to the world?”

“Right now, it is about stopping the production of Euphoria,” she explained pointedly, “which as you can see it going to be a hell of a lot harder than either one of us can imagine given the high-level clientele it attracts. Look around you Scott. Every one of these people is on it right now as we speak. They came here tonight with one purpose in mind and that’s keeping themselves oblivious to the realities the world face in immersing themselves in the Euphoria.”

“So, you’re saying that…” Scott’s words trailed off. He surveyed the club again realizing that the artificial happiness and excitement had presented a much clearer picture with Maria’s declaration. Looking to each one of the people at the tables around him, he realized that their behavior seemed exaggerated, almost off as their good spirits seemed to be emphasized in the moment.

“People like this aren’t going to stand back and allow themselves to lose what Euphoria can bring to them,” Maria explained revealing hints of frustration in her tone, “The only way to shut this down is to burn it to the ground from the inside out starting with the dealers who will take us to the manufacturers.”

“Even if what you say is true, how can you be sure that the people you work for aren’t going to cover this up as well? How can you be certain that they are truly going to close the door to its production once they find the source?” Scott challenged.

“We aren’t going to use it like the terrorist groups that are forming will. For us, it will simply be something we keep under lock and key while we work to neutralize the damage it has already done,” she explained stepping back and adjusting her dress.

“You mean until you decide that we no longer have a right to exist?” Scott countered with a scowl, “You’ll store it away until you find a better use for it or perhaps when another politician sees it as a political strategy to eradicate my race.”

“It won’t come to that.”

“We both know that’s a lie,” Scott argued with her.

“I want this nightmare to end just as much as you do,” Maria softened her tone, “I realize that you might not believe that, but I can’t forget or forgive what happened to that boy. I still have nightmares about it given that I was there at his execution. My team did everything they could to try to stop it and…”

“It wasn’t enough,” Scott reminded her harshly, “Charles did his best to…”

“We all did Scott and I don’t want that to ever happen to another child again,” she explained in an impassioned tone, “It was the most horrific experience of my life in watching what that boy endured all because of a senseless bastard set on a power trip.”

“I’m not going to argue that,” Scott conceded seeing the flicker of emotion behind her eyes.

“Look I get it Scott. The whole situation was awful,” she squeezed at his arm gently, “That boy was one of the many victims of Euphoria and there isn’t a day that what happened doesn’t haunt me.”

“That still doesn’t change what happened,” Scott reminded her with a shake of his head, “Even if you reveal the truth the damage has been done especially if you’re saying you believe mutants are behind the production of Euphoria. Two kids are dead, and the world sees mutants as the threat to their peace and harmony. They see us all as a threat to be eliminated.”

“I don’t,” Maria explained reaching out to squeeze at his bicep gently, “Scott, I swear to you that when everything is said and done someone is going to answer for this.”

“My concern is that when that time happens will it end up being the wrong someone all over again,” he countered feeling her release his arm with a somber expression on his face.

“For now, let’s focus on getting what we need to make it through tonight,” she suggested when another formal looking man moved through the crowd to approach them. Standing up straighter she patted his chest, smoothing out the front of his shirt before speaking up in warning, “Stay quiet and follow my lead.”

“Fine,” Scott grudgingly answered knowing only too well that the last thing he was going to allow to happen was the government getting their hands on something that could destroy any of his kind. Still he played the part moving in beside her as her companion.

Keeping his eyes forward he looked to the thick, muscle mass of man before him. His raven colored hair and pale complexion indicated that he didn’t spend a great deal of time in the sun, but his thick, dark sunglasses immediately put Scott on edge wondering just what kind of mutation the man before him carried with him. With each firm step the man made towards Maria, Scott found himself tensing up wondering what kind of trouble her buyer would prove to pose for them.

“Agent Hill,” a voice spoke up from behind the musclebound man. A moment later the man that Scott had suspected was her contact stepped aside to reveal a petite, frail looking middle-aged man with a slim, hollow looking face and long, wiry brown hair. He was wearing thin, gold wire rimmed glasses and was dressed in a neatly pressed dark colored suit, but he had metal braces on his arms adding to the fragility of his persona with his bodyguard at his side. With each slow, clumsy step he made towards Maria, his dark eyes reached out to her with an eager, curiosity that caught Scott off guard.

“Markus,” Maria smiled down at the man before her, “I appreciate you taking the time to meet with us tonight. I realize how busy things must be when…”

“Nonsense,” Markus moved his arm up, bringing his metal brace with it and nearly hitting the bodyguard beside him. He staggered a few steps forward, lowering his brace as his gaze shifted over to Scott, “and I see you brought a friend.”

“This is Agent Summers,” Maria explained squeezing at Scott’s bicep in an attempt to put him on display to the smaller man before him, “He’s been my silent partner in all of this…”

“Ah yes,” Markus’s eyes lit up knowingly, “The ever-silent partner you’ve spoken of. For a while I feared he was only a myth.”

“Far from it,” Maria squeezed at Scott’s arm once again in a possessive movement, “I’ve just been waiting for the right moment to make sure that we’d reached a secure enough position for me to bring him onto the front line. Given the risk we’re taking…”

“Say no more,” Markus shook his hand dismissively. His dark eyes swept over the room again before he nodded towards the thick bouncer beside him. The man rushed to his side instinctively, dipping down to lean in closer to Markus. Within a matter of seconds Markus whispered in the man’s ear and the man nodded dutifully before taking a step back. Once he was satisfied with his bodyguard’s response Markus directed his words to Maria once again, “Perhaps it would be best if we take this somewhere a bit more…private.”

“Of course,” Maria nodded when there was another sound coming from the opposite end of the bar. Looking over his shoulder Scott realized there was another dispute breaking out at the table where the bald man had been previously attacking the woman at his side. Before he could react, he felt a wave of something in the air, spiraling out as the walls of the room seemed to tremor for a brief, fleeting moment. Turning to look at Markus again, Scott realized that his dark eyes had transformed to a deep shade of black filling up the white and making him look less like a human when his skin gave off a soft, pale glow. It was in that moment that a few other bouncers swooped in from across the room to seek out the balding man. Within a matter of seconds, he was being pulled away from the table, dragged away from his guests and led down the same corridor the woman had been dragged into a short while earlier.

“I apologize for the inconvenience all of this presents tonight,” Markus explained turning his attention to Maria once again. His eyes shifted back to their normal color, revealing nothing of the darkness that had overtaken him moments earlier, “Tonight was a big night at the club and when drinking ensues I’m afraid things often tend to get out of hand. Please, don’t take that as a reflection of my willingness to cooperate with you on this situation Agent Hill.”

“Rest assured I don’t,” Maria assured him with a small smile, “although I’d much prefer to take this out of the open given the level of discretion that this particular exchange entails.”

“Of course,” Markus nodded motioning to his personal bodyguard, “Can you escort my guests into my inner sanctum while I clear up this little mishap?”

“Yes sir,” the bodyguard answered gruffly.

“I will be there to resume in our meeting shortly,” Markus promised when the bodyguard motioned for Scott and Maria to follow him beyond the club towards a dark wooden door with a golden colored private sign upon it.

“We’re really doing this,” Scott whispered as the man led them away from the bustling club and into something that he wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

“Stay close to me,” Maria answered cryptically when her grip on his arm intensified, “and take what you see in there with a grain of salt.”

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned looking to the bodyguard ahead of him. Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed that Markus was still standing in the position that they’d left him in, clearly communicating with the other bouncers on a telepathic level. His eyes were black again, his lips moving in silent communication when it was clear the tone of the room shifted around him, “You never mentioned he was a mutant.”

“I didn’t think I had to,” Maria replied curtly

“You’re going to have to give me more than that Hill,” Scott frowned down at her.

“Look Markus owns this club. He’s the mastermind behind all of this,” Maria offered up in a pinched hiss, “He and I met at a political conference he’d been attending where I’d expressed my disinterest in continuing down the path, we were on with the government. I told him of our partnership and our interest to break away from their tyrannically grip so we worked out an arrangement with one another. That’s why we are here tonight…”

“So, he knows that you’re…” Scott began to piece the information together.

“He knows that we’re opposed to the direction our government has taken and we want to seek out the change that Euphoria will bring to the world around us. It’s that willingness for change that brought us together,” Maria added looking over to the bodyguard once again, “He’s of a like mind Scott and we don’t have to be ‘afraid’ of being our true selves with him.”

“In expressing our disapproval with the system,” Scott finished catching on to her cover. He nodded before looking over at his shoulder at Markus once again. He could see that his presence caused a ripple of energy to surge through the room, his thoughts bringing the room to its knees as Maria’s hand gripped at the tiny purse that was strung over her shoulder.

“He’s of a like mind,” Maria lowered her voice as Scott focused on the door before them once again. He felt hesitation in her step, a moment of uneasiness surging over her. It was there for a brief, flickering moment before her fingers curved in just above the curve of his elbow in warning, “You need to keep quiet and let me run this exchange.”

“What are we getting ourselves into?” Scott questioned watching as the bouncer before them opened the door and stepped aside allowing Maria and Scott the opportunity to pass through the protected entrance.

“Your first look at Euphoria,” Maria explained gripping his arm tightly, “and be prepared Scott because it’s going to be a rough ride.”


	3. Evolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott's alliance with Maria leads him to a dark, dangerous world.

**Evolution:** _the gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex form._

The dull thrumming hiss of the pipes on the walkway to Markus’s sanctum echoed in Scott’s mind. The club he’d been in with Maria moments earlier had transformed into what appeared to be nothing more than a maze of metallic hallways looking less like a pleasure paradise and more like a compound of sorts. With each step they’d taken away from the bustling ballroom he could see various hallways surrounding them with rooms lined up and down each hallway, each hidden by the thick, metal, seemingly soundproof doors that kept them out or as Scott suspected kept something hidden within as they’d followed Markus’s bouncer to his inner sanctum. They’d found it a few minutes after their walk when the bodyguard had unlocked another hidden door to reveal a lavish looking office that Scott strongly suspected had once belonged to a hidden mafia boss. It was decorated in ornate wood and red velvet with a floor to ceiling wall of various books, looking every bit as eccentric as the ballroom of the club had been. There was an enormous dark stained oak desk before them with an oversized, black lavish leather swivel chair. On the opposite side of the desk there were two plush red velvet upholstery covered chairs, looking every bit as expensive as the chair Markus had for himself. To the left was another door that Scott suspected led to a closet, a private bathroom or perhaps something a bit more nefarious as he thought of the world he had unknowingly walked into with Maria at his side. Near the far right of the room was a minibar stocked with impressive, expensive bottles of alcohol that rivaled anything the bar in the club had to offer.

Looking over at the wall of books again, Scott quickly skimmed the bindings realizing that a great many of them seemed to be first editions focusing on a vast array of subjects ranging from fiction to philosophy, yet there was something about the collection that felt off. He couldn’t quite put his finger upon it, but there was something about the selection, about the care that went into each novel before him that caused him to do a mental assessment of the frail looking man they’d encountered inside of the club. Clearly, Markus hadn’t at all been what Scott had been expecting when Maria had mentioned a contact but given the sheer depth of his personal library Scott deduced that he was far more than a simple buyer. Given his literary tastes it was clear that they were dealing with a man of intellect and perhaps a superiority complex that would explain Maria’s tense behavior. One glance over at her upon the man’s arrival indicated that he was dangerous. That hadn’t been lost on him when he’d watched the way her hand instinctively fell to her purse, silently gripping onto it as if it held the key to their escape should things prove beyond their scope of the mission.

“Markus will be with you shortly,” the bodyguard explained stepping to the side and allowing Maria and Scott access to the red velvet seats, “Please sit.”

“Thank you,” Maria nodded curtly at the muscle man before her doing her best to come off as polite and unassuming. She eased her way through the office revealing nothing of her mindset when she settled in at the chair on the far right. She readjusted her purse strap over her shoulder opting instead to bring her purse into her lap before motioning for Scott to take the seat beside her, “Join me.”

“Of course,” Scott nodded obediently in following her lead.

“Unfortunately, you caught us on an off night. We don’t have too many nights like tonight,” the bodyguard offered up in a small attempt at conversation once he seemed to settle into their environment, “Markus was hosting a party earlier this evening and the clientele were a bit boisterous it would seem. However, that doesn’t diminish his enthusiasm about your meeting tonight. He’s been looking rather forward to your proposal Agent Hill.”

“I’m aware of that,” Maria nodded accordingly, “We’ve both invested a great deal of time into this particular endeavor.”

“And I can assure you that hasn’t been lost on him. He understands the weight of this situation if you will. He’s rather eager to begin the negotiation process with you,” the bodyguard offered up with a tight-lipped grin.

“As am I,” Maria answered keeping her purse close to her.

“May I offer either one of you a drink?” the bodyguard questioned sidestepping around them to draw their attention to Markus’s personal collection.

“No thank you,” Maria smiled politely, “My partner and I are fine. Thank you.”

“As you wish,” the bodyguard nodded accordingly. He moved away from the bar standing motionless behind the two of them in an unsettling motion. He folded his arms in front of his chest indicating that he had no intention of leaving them unmonitored in the office when Scott eased into the seat beside Maria.

“I hope you know what you’re getting us into,” Scott mouthed to her wondering just what kind of deal they were coming to barter with Markus on. However, before he could ask any further questions, he heard the door opening to reveal Markus’s arrival.

“I apologize for the inconvenience,” Markus apologized clumsily closing the door behind his arrival. The sound of his voice caused Maria to stand up and turn, eager to address him with that same, warm smile she’d flashed the bouncers upon entry to the club.

“It isn’t an inconvenience at all,” she answered readily. She clenched her purse at her side as Markus approached her, “I appreciate you taking the time to fit us in on such a busy night at the club.”

“Ah,” Markus clumsily waved his hand dismissively, “tonight was just business as usual although I do apologize for you both having to be witness to that small burst of uncivilized behavior back there. Most of the time our patrons are on their best behavior when indulging, but tonight a few unsavory members of our club felt the need to break into a bit of a scuffle.”

“It’s not a problem,” Maria nodded as Markus staggered in closer to where Maria and Scott were, “We’re in no rush.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Sit. Please,” Markus took a clumsy step forward and urged her on once again, “There’s no need for formalities here. Did my associate offer you both a drink?”

“There’s no need,” Maria replied as Markus made his way over to the bar. Scott tilted his head to watch the fragile man before him fumbling with the oversized bottle in his hand. His fingers were shaky, his hand rattling the bottle before he set it down on the bar again. He shook his head and sighed before looking over at Scott and Maria with an apologetic expression on his face.

“I feel truly horrible about my guest’s unruly behavior,” Markus spoke up in a calm, even tone, “What you witnessed before was…”

“It wasn’t any of our business,” Maria offered him an out to the situation at hand.

“Overzealous politicians believe that they can work their way into my club and start calling the shots,” Markus ignored her words, simply rehashing the event that had taken place outside in the club’s ballroom, “I’m always one to indulge their particular tastes, but when those tastes go too far…well, I’m afraid that I need to step in every so often and remind them of their place in the food chain so to speak. Ah, but it’s no matter as I would imagine that the world would undoubtedly be a better place with one less corrupt politician mucking it up.”

“Indeed,” Maria nodded when Markus reached for the bottle again. Met by the same frustration, he let out a long sigh, setting the bottle down again. He nodded towards the bodyguard prompting the man to methodically move to Markus’s side.

“Again, I do apologize for the delay,” Markus offered up leaning into the wall beside him. He let out an exasperated breath before the bodyguard reached out to touch his shoulder supportively, “Perhaps I should change into something more comfortable.”

“Whatever you feel is best,” Maria noted keeping her eyes forward turned towards the empty leather chair behind the desk. Taking her lead Scott kept his eyes forward wondering what was happening when the bodyguard hoisted Markus up into his arms and positioned him beside the desk. Scott half anticipated watching the bodyguard set Markus into the chair, but instead he lowered Markus to the floor once again, leaning him up against the generously sized bookshelves behind the desk. He made sure that Markus was secure before the bodyguard moved to the door Scott had noticed previously.

“Just give me a few minutes and we can get this started,” Markus sighed keeping his eyes closed when his bodyguard returned with a wheelchair that looked strikingly like Xavier’s. Keeping quiet Scott watched as the bodyguard returned to Markus, helping him remove the braces on his arms. It was a painstaking process as Scott observed Markus’s too tiny arms dropping down to his torso, failing effortlessly without the control his braces provided. A few seconds later the bodyguard had guided Markus into the chair wheeling Markus over to where the leather seat was, but instead of placing Markus inside of it, the bodyguard reached for the chair himself and sat down methodically.

“Just one more minute,” Markus explained reopening his eyes long enough to tip his head back. He issued Scott an apologetic smile before the bodyguard beside him opened the top desk drawer. The bodyguard extracted a vial and a syringe, bringing it into view. He lowered his head carefully filling the syringe before turning to jab it into the side of Markus’s neck in a quick, jerking movement.

“What the…?” Scott questioned watching as the bodyguard pumped the liquid into Markus’s neck undoubtedly hitting him in a sensitive spot. It spilled out of the syringe into the pale flesh of Markus’s neck, causing a small illumination beneath the skin’s surface before Markus’s head dropped forward and a whimper carried over his lips. For a moment Scott wondered if the bodyguard had killed him when Markus appeared to be lifeless. He exchanged worried glances with Maria wondering just what they’d gotten themselves into when the bodyguard extracted another syringe from the drawer. He reached for Markus’s arm, pushing the material of the suit up over his forearm. He paused momentarily, unbuttoning the shirt beneath the suit jacket sleeve. With careful consideration, he opened the material revealing Markus’s pale flesh before tapping his thick fingers over Markus’s forearm. With the movement the same illumination that was in Markus’s neck carried over Markus’s pale flesh, giving the bodyguard the opportunity to reach for the second syringe once again. He jabbed it into Markus’s exposed vein before him extracting a sample of Markus’s blood.

Saying nothing Scott watched as the bodyguard filled the syringe with the glowing blood, filling it to the brim before he settled into the leather chair. He tilted his face forward, his right hand reaching for the dark sunglasses he was wearing. Without warning, he pulled them from his eyes to reveal metallic orbs behind his wide eyelids. The iris in the left eye was dilated revealing a hollow opening in its center. Without warning the bodyguard jabbed the syringe into the opening, driving it deep into the metallic eye as Scott watched in horror. The bodyguard pushed the glowing blood substance inside until the syringe was empty. A moment later his hand twitched, causing him to drop the syringe and throw his head back with a yelping sound.

“Maria…” Scott looked to his companion once again.

“It’s okay,” Maria replied reaching out to squeeze at Scott’s arm gently, “Just stay calm.”

“Calm,” Scott repeated watching as the bodyguard reached for his sunglasses again, placing them over the bridge of his nose. With a small breath and a wide smirk, he positioned the glasses, tipping his head forward. Once the glasses were in place, he lowered his arms to the desktop and smirked wider than before.

“This is much better. Are you sure I can’t offer either one of you a drink?,” Markus’s voice echoed through the man’s mouth, vibrating on his inhuman vocal cords when Scott realized that the bodyguard was some kind of human cyborg, serving as an empty shell for Markus’s consciousness. When Maria shook her head again in refusal, Markus simply leaned back in the bodyguard’s outer shell, “Again, I apologize that I didn’t have time to clean up before your arrival. My previous meeting took longer than anticipated.”

“Again, there’s no problem,” Maria waved her hand dismissively when Scott’s eyes returned to the lifeless frail body slumped over in the wheelchair before him. As if picking up on Scott’s curiosity Markus spoke up with a firm, explanatory tone.

“When I was eight years old, I was diagnosed with a rare degenerative disease. The medical professionals told my parents that I wouldn’t live to see my teen years, but my father—a scientist and a fiercely stubborn man refused to accept that diagnosis. To make a long story short, my father’s research company worked endlessly to try to find a cure, but when none were readily available my father took matters into his own hands,” Markus offered up simply through the voice of the man before him, “What tore my body apart strengthened my mind until I’d fully reached my enlightenment. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I’d reached my full potential and liberation followed.”

“So that’s when your mutation revealed itself,” Scott took in his words. He scanned over the lifeless form of the original Markus before him wondering just what his powers were when the bodyguard’s shell sat before them hosting Markus’s consciousness, “In your teen years?”

“Mutation,” Markus laughed as he waved around the thick, muscled arm of the bodyguard he was now a part of. He stood upright, stretching the solid, heavy arms up and over his head before puffing out the broad expanse of the chest before him. He seemed to twist his head, cracking the neck a bit before crossing over to his bar once again with a small laugh, “Oh good lord no. I wish I had been blessed with such gifts, but unfortunately given the dire state of my disease, my father was forced to step in and supersede God’s plans for me in order to explore the situation with other means.”

“But what I saw in the ballroom,” Scott couldn’t help, but contemplate what he’d witnessed now that Markus reached for one of the more expensive bottles of alcohol at the bar. He reached for an expensive looking glass, carefully setting it in position before the golden colored liquid poured freely from the bottle he was holding.

“A side effect of Euphoria. The possibilities are limitless when you anticipate them to be so. Natural law no longer comes into play with limitations placed upon your true potential,” Markus explained taking a sip of his drink. With a pinched grin, he raised his glass in the air, silently saluting himself before he returned to the desk. He took a seat in the leather chair, setting his glass down on the desktop and getting repositioned. With a wide smirk he leaned in over the top of the desk. He placed his large palms down on top of the wooden surface, his thick, steely jaw flexing with amusement as his grin expanded, “Perhaps you would like to take a test run of it for yourself.”

“No,” Maria spoke up sternly after a long silence, “not tonight I’m afraid.”

“Why not?” Markus frowned redirecting his attention to Maria. He reached for his glass again raising it to his lips with an arched brow behind the sunglasses, “Why shouldn’t he experience a taste of what you are buying into tonight? Shouldn’t he be aware of what it is you’re anticipating bringing into your world? As your partner I would imagine he has a great many curiosities about the potential this opportunity presents for the both of you.”

“Because I need him levelheaded for the exchange,” Maria answered readily. Her voice had returned to business as usual, her words cutting to the point as Markus leaned back in his chair, “We’ve gone through a great deal of time and effort to get to this point where we’re ready for negotiations and I don’t want anything to blur the lines of what our purpose in being here is.”

“Always straight to the point,” Markus nodded approvingly. He raised his glass to his lips again, taking down the liquid before finally letting out a long, slow, satisfied breath of a sigh, “I’ve always appreciated that about you Agent Hill. You don’t waste time with the frivolous things when you have your goal in mind.”

“It’s something that I’ve learned to appreciate in our exchanges,” Maria answered sitting up straighter. She issued him the same expression that Scott had witnessed her doing in the past with those in an interrogation that indicated that she meant business, but Markus seemed unphased by the gesture, “Shall we begin with the negotiations?”

“All in good time,” Markus waved his hand dismissively, “Tonight has been a bit of an adventure for me and I think I’d rather engage in the small talk with your new partner here. To give us an opportunity to get acquainted before I open up all of my secrets to him in our exchange.”

“Then how about we bypass the small talk and get straight to that personal tour of the facility that you’ve promised me?” she suggested crossing her legs as she readjusted her position in the chair.

“You aren’t going to give up on wanting that, are you?” Markus laughed reaching up to scratch his now dimpled chin, “You know that was never part of the initial negotiations we worked through. This facility is something of a mystery to even my associates that you are so eager to jump into bed with so to speak. It’s my own personal haven and…”

“You’ve been wanting to share it for quite some time especially after our latest display of generosity,” Maria challenged leaning forward in her seat.

“I haven’t forgotten your contribution,” he noted with a cryptic smirk, “It has provided the generous jump started we’ve needed for this particular project.”

“Then why beat around the bush?” she arched a speculative brow, “You’ve been eager to display your accomplishments and now that my partner is with us tonight to see the fruit of your labors…”

“You’re expecting me to throw out all the bells and whistles to convince him that a union with my associates is something that would be beneficial to the both of you,” Markus countered giving her a long, appreciative once over. As his head tipped down, Scott realized that the man before him was taking in the view of Maria’s shapely legs before him. Despite the sunglasses Markus was wearing, Scott found the movement to be quite lecherous and he fought the need to reach out and choke the man before him for his rude behavior.

“It’s about trust, Markus. We have provided you more than plenty in terms of what you’ve asked of us before tonight and now we simply wish for you to do the same,” Maria answered matter of fact. She uncrossed her legs, placing her feet on the floor in a more aggressive positioning all the while ignoring the way that Markus was eyeing her as her voice commanded his attention above all else, “What you are asking of me entails me stepping outside of my comfort zone and producing things that we both know could end up destroying me if we don’t achieve that level of disclosure between us. If I am to allow you and your colleagues access to what I have to offer, then I think it best that we enter into a mutual tit for tat so to speak.”

“Does that mean that you’re going to allow me access to the armory to pick out my very own collection of toys?” Markus leaned in over his desk once again. He licked his lips, tipping his head down to gawk at her all over again when Scott found himself hating the man before him even more in the moment. He glanced over at Maria seeing that she was as stoic as ever, not bothering to add any fuel to the fire in acknowledging Markus’s behavior, “Perhaps you will throw me an olive branch and offer me an all access pass to the catalogue of weapons at your disposal before I show you what goodies I have.”

“Show us the warehouse of goodies and then we’ll discuss our terms further,” Maria suggested smiling sweetly at him.

“No,” Markus shook his head in refusal. He leaned back in his chair bringing his thick arms up and behind his head. He interlocked his fingers behind his head before laughing lightly, “I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” she challenged with an arched brow, “Afraid that when we see what you truly have to offer behind the party gags that we’ll lose interest in the product you and your associates are willing to provide us?”

“On the contrary. I’m denying your request because it isn’t pertinent to our exchange,” Markus replied pointedly. He lowered his arms down again and frowned at the turn the direction the conversation had taken, “What we need is in this office and…”

“What are you hiding?” Scott interrupted their exchange causing Markus to turn to him with curiosity behind his features.

“Hiding?” Markus repeated with a small laugh, “Whatever are you trying to imply Agent Summers?”

“That you have something to hide,” Scott stated plainly. He looked directly at Markus before speaking up again with a firm, solid tone, “You have no qualms about putting the pleasure palace on display, but that was all for show. We both know that isn’t the heart of this operation that you have going on, now is it?”

“I don’t know,” Markus mused with a wry grin. He leaned back in his chair issuing Scott a challenge, “What don’t you tell me what it is that you think I have to hide Agent Summers?”

“You’re asking us to hand you the keys to our potential undoing—to put our reputations on the line for a product that we can’t be certain is pure. All of this cloak and dagger with your missing colleagues doesn’t instill assurance in our negotiations tonight,” Scott offered up despite Maria’s pleas for him to remain silent. Feigning an air of confidence, he sat up straighter and looked directly at the dark sunglasses before him, “You want us to invest everything in this deal putting all of our faith in your ability to negotiate a savory deal between us and your colleagues, but your lack of willingness to be cooperative tells me that you aren’t ready to disclose the details of your business to us.”

“We all have our secrets,” Markus smiled at him with a small nod, “Surely you can see why it wouldn’t prove to be beneficial to allow you full admission to my facility with all access this early on in this exchange with one another. I don’t think we’ve got an intimate enough relationship for us to delve into something that personal between us.”

“You’re asking us to put our lives on the line—to potentially give up the reputation that we have spent years working to build,” Scott countered in an agitated tone, “For us to stick our necks out like we have indicates a willingness on our end to expose our cards and enter into a certain level of vulnerability, yet you continue to hold back…”

“You’re the one who has refused the key to heaven in dismissing my earlier sample,” Markus countered with a slow, resonating purr behind his tone. His grin widened, his sculped cheekbones coming off cold and threatening when he bared the inhuman teeth of the bodyguard’s shell before him, “You’re the one denying yourself all access in not allowing me to show you what matters here tonight…”

“There have been rumors about a tainted product,” Scott added with a scowl. He glanced over at Maria wondering if she would be furious with him for speaking up, but when she seemed unaffected by his words, he continued to press Markus further in his challenge, “Word on the street is that the purity is waning and if we are going to enter into this…arrangement with one another, we don’t want anything less than the best.”

“Then again I suggest that you seize the opportunity to see for yourself,” Markus opened the desk drawer again. He extracted a vial and another syringe. With a smile, he slid them over the top of the desk motioning to Scott, “Take a taste, experience what our Euphoria has to offer and then you tell me about the purity you experience.”

“I’d rather see it firsthand,” Scott dismissed Markus’s words.

“Which is what I’m offering you…” Markus reminded him.

“With an objective mind,” Scott clarified further remembering Maria’s warning not to allow himself to be injected with the serum. However, unable to quell the curiosity brewing inside of him, he reached for the vial, holding it up under the light to get a better look at it. The liquid composition was iridescent under the light, almost sparkling as Scott held it up higher.

“I can show you the reports,” Markus explained observing Scott closely, “our product is the smoothest, most refined form of Euphoria that you’ll ever get your hands on. Once you have a taste…”

“I’d rather test the purity of the sample myself,” Scott gripped the vial in his palm. He caught the smile that carried over Markus when it seemed that Scott was giving in to his request, “in my own laboratory.”

“Suit yourself,” Markus conceded with a sigh before leaning back in his chair again, “but as for getting into our laboratory tonight…”

“If not tonight, then perhaps you can give us a walkthrough of the heart of what is really going on here,” Scott suggested.

“I don’t know what you mean Agent Summers,” Markus wrinkled his nose at Scott’s words.

“Of course, you do,” Maria finally spoke up in reentering the conversation again, “We both know that the club is an illusion, but what happens back here is where the real magic begins.”

“Why Agent Hill I really don’t think you understand that…” Markus started looking between them, seemingly caught in a moment of contemplation.

“Give me a taste of how this works,” Scott challenged thinking about the corridor they’d walked through, “Surely you must have test subjects on hand tonight, yes?”

“Test subjects,” Markus laughed at the wording, “More like eager volunteers ready and willing to take the ride of a lifetime into Euphoria.”

“So show us,” Scott suggested again when it seemed that they could stand a chance at convincing Markus to give them more insight on the facility, “Not the people in the main room who are living it up for show, but the ones who are here getting the full, unfiltered experience without prompting.”

“My you are observant Agent Summers,” Markus grinned wider than before. He shook his head and laughed before reaching for his glass again. He redirected his attention to Maria and smirked again, “He’s a sharp one, now isn’t he?”

“I wouldn’t have accepted anything less than the best in a partner,” Maria replied reaching out across from her chair to place her hand upon Scott’s knee. Silently she offered up a small squeeze catching Scott off guard when he thought of her earlier warning that they were simply posing as business partners. Now with her fingers curled around his knee in an intimate gesture, Scott wondered if she was doing so to claim ownership upon Scott or to deem herself off limits to a predator like Markus. Either way it was clear that Markus had noticed the gesture as his smirk faded replaced by stone cold seriousness in his hard features.

“Even so what makes you think that I would be willing to show you the workings of my inner sanctum?” Markus challenged as Maria’s hand remained upon Scott’s knee offering up an encouraging squeeze.

“You’ll show us because you want to let us know the power you wield,” Scott challenged with a suggestive wiggle of his brow, “Your illness made your body weak, but your father made you strong—stronger than you’d ever imagined and Euphoria…it makes you a god.”

“In a manner of speaking,” Markus couldn’t help, but chortle with amusement, “I suppose your observation isn’t all that off. It would, after all, be a logical deduction that even in dealing with my associates that I hold all of the power in this exchange.”

“I want in on it,” Scott continued in an eager tone. He placed his hand over Maria’s on his knee and offered up a squeeze in response to her touch. Keeping his fingers over hers, he gently massaged the top of her palm, feigning a deep level of intimacy between them before he addressed Markus once again, “I want to know what that feels like—if only through observation.”

“You could be a specimen,” Markus nodded to the vial again, “You could be a delicious addition to my collection of followers.”

“And miss out on what you experience in guiding all of this,” Scott shook his head firmly in dismissal, “That seems rather mundane considering the potential that this facility has to offer. If we are to enter into this agreement with one another, then I want to get to know what this is like—to see how a god truly lives in his element.”

“When you put it that way,” Markus paused feeling Scott stroking his ego. He reached up to his own chin scratching it lightly in allowing Scott’s words to sink in further, “there are perhaps elements of my inner sanctum that conceivably you can be given a guided tour upon…as my personal guest of course.”

“Excellent,” Maria piped in with a smirk. She seemed to relax in her positioning, yet her hand remained on Scott’s knee, “That sounds like a wonderful segue to what is next when…”

“Just him,” Markus raised his hand up in the air in a cautionary movement. He looked to Maria again with a firm, neutral expression, “You and I have a great many details to hash out with one another where my associates are concerned, but given your partner’s overzealous curiosity, I would imagine that he would like to experience the guided tour all on his own—to truly see the potential that we have here.”

“We both would like to have an inside view of what this entails given that…” Maria wrinkled her nose at him.

“You and I have to communicate on another level as my associates have a few details they want us to hash over about this negotiation before it comes into play, but with Agent Summers putting on a fresh face in these negotiations, he strikes me as more of a hand’s on man of action,” Markus offered up with a dark, cryptic expression on his face indicating that he was looking to separate the both of them for whatever was up next.

“We’re a team,” Scott stated firmly as his hand squeezed Maria’s over his knee, “We are in this all the way with one another, so if I’m getting a tour, then it only makes sense that…”

“Agent Hill and I have much to discuss with one another,” Markus’s focused shifted over to Maria once again, “and the last thing either one of us would want would be for us to lose sight of our focus on these impending negotiations. My partners are very eager to find their way to an expedient conclusion to our deal and…”

“We’re a team,” Scott repeated in a firm, unyielding tone, “She and I are a packaged deal and…”

“He’s right. The negotiations take precedence over everything else,” Maria blurted out catching Scott off guard with her words. He looked over to her, momentarily losing his focus when she abruptly released his knee.

“What?” Scott questioned giving Maria another, confused glance, “but I thought that…”

“We are here to finalize negotiations,” Maria explained in a smooth, even tone revealing nothing about her thoughts when she held her purse to her hip, “We must not forget why we are here although if Markus would be so generous to give you the tour while he and I iron out the details of our exchange…”

“But…” Scott couldn’t help, but frown finding that more than anything he didn’t want to leave Maria alone with the predator across from them.

“It’s for the best,” Maria spoke up in a cautionary tone. Her expression was stone solid, but behind her eyes Scott could see a sharp warning for him to do as she instructed. For a moment, he’d perceived her earlier silence as nervousness. He’d seen her reaching for him as a sign of uncertainty about Markus and his lecherous behavior, but she’d simply been issuing Markus a silent challenge in attempting to allow him the opportunity to entice Scott with whatever else the club had to offer. Instead of using their implied intimacy to take a protective shield against Markus, she was throwing it out there as a blatant dare—as a challenge that Markus was now taking hook, line and sinker in attempting to sway Scott in his favor to perhaps gain Scott’s loyalty and devotion for himself. Curiously Scott looked between Markus and Maria realizing that he’d made the small mistake of underestimating Maria Hill as being someone who needed to be rescued. She was tough as nails, visceral in every respect and not in need of saving. She could cut down Markus with a few sharp words and in that instant, Scott found himself admiring her more in her strategy in using Scott’s look of innocence to her advantage.

Looking to Markus once again, Scott easily recognized the curiosity in the man before him. Although Scott had ignored men like him in the past, there was something about his expression that indicated that perhaps Maria wasn’t the only person he’d hoped to have upon his carnal menu by the time the evening was over. With Maria’s hand upon his leg earlier, she’d silently noted that Scott was off limits, which only served to further intensify Markus’s thirst to conquer the unobtainable. His smirk was even wider now, his jaw tipped down and covered eyes centering in over the now exposed lines of Scott’s practically bare chest undoubtedly contemplating how to sway Scott in his favor.

 _“You look corruptible,”_ Scott could practically hear Maria’s words echo in the back of his mind. It was then that he finally understood his purpose. He was the distraction, the one who was going to gain proper intel while she handled the narcissistic man before her. He would be the eye candy that would tip the scales in their favor should Scott seem appreciative of the things Markus was offering him.

“It would be my pleasure to guide you through a personal tour Agent Summers, but unfortunately that isn’t necessarily in the cards just yet,” Markus confessed with a husky tone. His tongue dragged out over his bottom lip indicating that his thoughts had taken him far from the conversation at hand into a place that was less about Euphoria and more about what pleasures he felt that Scott could provide him with.

Wordlessly, Markus reached out underneath his desk to press a button. A moment later the office door swung open and the brunette woman Scott had spotted at the bald man’s table that had been dragged away by the bouncers earlier in the night stood before him in a different, silver minidress with a bright, dark colored smile upon her face. Her hair was sloppily pinned up atop of her head with a few loose strands framing her face. She looked rejuvenated and enthusiastic to step up to Markus’s command. Her dark, stiletto heels clicked on the marble flooring of the office, making her presence known before she approached Markus with a welcoming grin.

“Yes Markus?” she questioned in a rich, sultry tone.

“You’ve been given a new assignment for the evening given that Agent Summers has rather taken an interest in your personal well-being…” Markus explained turning his attention to the woman now standing beside his desk, “It seems that your earlier interaction has provided him with a concern for your personal welfare after dealing with our less than savory senator.”

“How did you know that I…?” Scott’s eyes widened with curiosity behind his glasses.

“I may not be a mutant, but there’s no denying the way you were projecting your thoughts when you couldn’t take your eyes off that table. Not that I can blame you for staring given the excellent level of distraction before you,” Markus answered revealing nothing more about his observation, “The senator didn’t deserve such beautiful company, but a man like yourself with discriminating tastes would undoubtedly benefit from Coral’s attention tonight.”

“Coral,” Scott repeated standing up at the woman before him extended her hand out, smiling at him with a bright, red smirk. Her green eyes flickered with hints of brown and although Scott couldn’t quite recognize the color, he could sense them as her eyes had a similar pattern to Jean’s in terms of contrasting color and shading.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Agent Summers,” she offered her hand to him, meeting his palm in a firm, solid press when fingers wrapped around Scott’s hand, gripping him tightly.

“Scott?” Maria questioned momentarily losing her focus and rising from her chair as well. For a moment Scott found himself questioning Maria’s motivation wondering if it was of genuine concern or simply her playing further into the role that she was working to convince Markus that Scott played in her life, “Perhaps it would be better that we should do this together. I’m sure that given none of us are in a hurry that negotiations could easily take a backseat a little bit longer and…”

“Agent Hill,” Markus clucked his words, prompting her to look over at him once again, “I’d really rather us discuss the details of our terms. You and I have already been down this road with one another to the point where my associates are growing impatient, but your partner needs his curiosities validated, does he not?”

“I suppose,” she conceded. Reaching out to brush her fingertips over Scott’s shoulder in a light, sweeping touch before releasing him, “but don’t keep him too long as he’s an integral part of our deal coming into fruition.”

“After his tour I would imagine that there won’t be any hold up on your end in terms of our negotiation,” Markus boasted proudly. He nodded over at Coral, who boldly reached for Scott’s hand to draw him out of the office and onto the tour of the facility that he’d requested.

“Shall we?” Coral batted her eyelashes at Scott. He looked down at her full pouting lips, realizing that she was every bit as capable of taking care of herself as Maria was. What he’d once perceived as a victim in the club now came off as a black widow of sorts, dark and dangerous as her free hand reached up to trace over the low plunging neckline of her minidress to draw Scott’s attention to her ample cleavage.

“Scott,” Maria’s voice pulled him from the moment when he felt her gripping at his shoulder. She offered up a small squeeze coaxing him to release Coral’s hand in favor of facing him again with a small warning expression. Reaching out to him, she touched the side of his face before moving in closer yet. Her fingers swept over his cheekbone, guiding their tips into Scott’s dark, unruly hair. Stepping in closer yet, she arched up on her toes, sliding one hand down over his hip, pushing it deeper into his pants pocket as Scott could feel her fingers slipping something inside of it.

“Don’t forget about our arrangement darling,” Maria slurred patting his thigh gently to draw his attention to what she’d pushed inside of his pocket, “I know it goes without saying, but as much as you might enjoy yourself on this little ‘tour’, when the time is right, you remember that there’s only one place where you’re going to be sticking this tonight.”

He remained silent, feeling her fingers stretch out over his inner thigh playing off like her words were sexual in nature, but in feeling the tiny object in his pants pocket, he found himself focusing on her features when she arched her head up bringing her mouth to his in an impromptu passionate display of longing and desire.

With her fingers twisting through his dark hair, commanding his mouth to hers, he found himself reaching out to slide his arm around her waist, giving in to the illusion as her kiss offered up a silent warning about what was ahead of him. On the outside it seemed like a desperate attempt of a lover to keep her man focused, but Scott knew damn well Hill had another agenda in mind. Pulling her in against his chest, he gave himself to the kiss hoping that she knew he’d understood the order she’d given him, feeling her part his lips with a gentle probing tongue and a soft moan as they stood together in the center of Markus’s office. He could hear Markus make a soft sound of approval, enjoying the display they’d put on for him when the sound of footsteps indicated that Markus was moving over to the bar again to refill his drink. Once he was out of earshot Maria tore herself away from the kiss and looked up to Scott with a neutral expression on her face.

“Remember that things aren’t always as they seem here. This tour is a test for the both of us and see to it that you don’t fail it,” she warned in a faint, barely-there whisper that Scott imagined she hoped that Markus wouldn’t hear. When it was clear that she’d given him her final warning, she pulled back bringing her thumb over Scott’s bottom lip. She brushed the pad of her thumb over his sensitive skin undoubtedly removing the traces of her lipstick as she forced a sultry smirk for what he imagined was Markus’s benefit.

“Try not to have too much fun out there,” Maria cautioned as Coral moved in beside Scott once again to guide him on the mysterious tour of the facility.

“I’ll be back soon,” Scott promised reaching out to touch her cheek in the hopes of conveying that he understood what she was asking out of him. He hesitated for a moment feeling whatever she’d placed into his pocket settle in near his thigh serving as a reminder that he wasn’t done playing his part in her mission just yet. He nodded at her before taking a step back and turning his attention to Coral, “I’m ready when you are.”

“Right this way,” Coral extended her hand out to Scott once again in the hopes of offering him enough temptation to walk into the world that Markus kept shielded and protected from otherwise prying eyes. With a slow inhale, Scott offered his hand to her, feeling the eager squeeze of her fingers over his as he found himself wondering just what was ahead of him on his new journey far from where his night began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little spoiler here to let everyone know that Logan will be showing up very soon. Thanks for hanging tight on this :)


	4. Observation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott learns what is going on at the facility and finally discovers what is happening with Logan.

****

**Observation:** _the action or process of observing something or someone carefully or in order to gain information._

“So, tell me Coral,” Scott cleared his throat and attempted to open a dialogue now that he moved through the quiet, metallic hallways of the fortress Markus had invited him to explore. He walked beside Markus’s assistant hoping to gain intel on their journey through the compound with one another.

As Coral gripped at his hand, keeping him close to her in a far too intimate gesture that Scott suspected was more so to keep him in line rather than straying away from her guidance, Scott couldn’t help, but look down at the petite woman beside him. She was beautiful, undoubtedly the embodiment of a fantasy at his side, clearly used to capturing her companion’s devotion with a smile and a well thought out bat of her eyelashes when she walked into the room. Beautiful and curvy, she commanded attention when she walked into a room, her very presence changing the tone as it was clear she’d known full well how to command focus on her. It was undoubtedly the reason that Markus had assigned her to babysitting Scott and the unscrupulous senator earlier in the evening. She was beautiful, yet as Scott had witnessed was also capable of projecting a sense of vulnerability meant to bring someone’s guard down if need be. In the club he’d perceived her as being an innocent victim, but now that Scott knew that Markus was pulling her strings, he had to question the authenticity of what he’d witnessed in the club earlier in the evening.

“How long have you been working for Markus?” he questioned opening the door to further conversation between them.

“Who said I was working for Markus?” she questioned taking one step forward in the cold, metallic hallway before ceasing all movement. She released Scott’s hand and turned to face him with a small scowl upon her otherwise beautiful features.

“I’d just assumed with you being here and doing this for him that you must’ve been in his employment for quite some time to have this level of trust in offering guided tours to his business associates,” Scott began gauging her responses. It seemed that his words caused her to take pause, her features were clouded by a moment of darkness. She pinched her lips together, seemingly regaining her focus when she reached out to bring her fingers over the hem of his open black shirt.

“Is that how you perceive me Agent Summers?” she spoke his name tauntingly. Her index finger traced over the center of his chest, slowly dragging her crimson colored nail over his smooth skin, “As an obedient lapdog doing the dirty work for her master?”

“On the contrary I see someone who has had a rough night tonight,” Scott countered tipping his head down to watch her closely, “What you experienced tonight with the senator…”

“Made you want to sweep in and rescue me, yes?” she challenged smacking her lips together before her index finger pressed harder in over his chest, “Admit it you were concerned about my well-being.”

“Men shouldn’t handle a woman like that,” Scott conceded looking down at her index finger lightly tracing over the center of his chest, “It isn’t up to a man to decide what is acceptable to a woman in terms of personal space.”

“No,” she clarified with a deep scowl resonating over her plump, parted lips, “but some men feel that they are well within their rights to claim that which they desire without question.”

“Some men are simply wrong in that assumption,” Scott offered up as she released him, “It is never right to cross that line without permission.”

“No,” she paused weighing out his words before smiling up at him, “but then again you would never cross that kind of line, now would you Agent Summers?”

“Of course not,” Scott wrinkled his nose at her.

“No, I suppose it would be beneath you to simply allow your basic instincts to overrule logic,” she noted in a quick assessment. She stepped back giving him a long, thorough once over, before her grin expanded further, “Seeing the senator crossing that line certainly sparked a fire inside of you. I can see that now.”

“As I said before no one has a right to cross that line without permission,” Scott answered readily, “regardless of what was leading up to that point…”

“No one can claim ownership on an individual like that,” she finished when her eyes flashed with something Scott couldn’t quite read, “It really presents itself in a situation where things go beyond civilized into something more animalistic when dealing with men of power who think they can have it all. Just because they believe that their position grants them certain freedoms doesn’t mean that they aren’t essentially slaves to the system like the rest of us.”

“Is that what you believe that you are?” Scott arched a curious brow, “A slave to this system that Markus has presented here?”

“On the contrary,” she laughed wildly, “this is where true freedom reigns supreme.”

“How so?” Scott couldn’t help but ask watching as she stood up taller before him.

“This place allows a person to finally experience their true self,” she explained pointedly. Taking a bold step towards him, she reached out to squeeze at his bicep as if gauging his strength beneath her touch, “Take you for example. Tonight, when you witnessed my exchange with the senator it opened the door to that chivalrous side that you government agent types tend to harbor about playing the hero and saving the world around you, yes?”

“I’ll admit I was concerned about your well-being when I saw the senator’s unsavory behavior,” Scott conceded weighing out his thoughts when she curled her index finger over the still closed button of his black shirt. She squeezed it within her finger, her lips curving upward in the beginnings of a wild smirk as she flicked at the button once again.

“I’ll just bet you were,” she remarked with a hint of amusement behind her eyes, “If your partner hadn’t prevented you from intervening, I imagine that you’d be playing the role of my hero tonight. Tell me. Where you think things would’ve ended up for the both of us if you had intervened on my situation Agent Summers?”

“I would imagine that things would’ve turned out quite differently for the both of us,” Scott stated plainly wondering just what kind of angle she was trying to work on him. As her tongue dragged over her bottom lip and she plucked away at the button on his shirt, brazenly opening it in a flirty movement, Scott couldn’t help but scowl, “Then again perhaps the evening has been rather advantageous for you given where you are right now.”

“Are you saying that I should be appreciative of the trade up I’ve been given from the senator’s companionship now that you’re at my side?” she arched an amused brow. Her fingertips tapered off over his abdomen, invading his personal space when Scott wondered just how far Markus had urged her to go in order to capture Scott’s attention.

“I’m saying that it isn’t every day that someone has to contend with that kind of obnoxious behavior especially from a person of power and stature. It’s wrong for someone to make assumptions about what lines they can cross without permission,” Scott continued attempting to read the woman before him. He could see she was set on distracting him, but in thinking about what he had walked into, he found himself curious about what was really taking place in the club around him.

“Men like the senator hold no relevance in the grand scheme of things. They are all predictable and boring at best,” she groaned outwardly. With a shake of her head, Scott watched as the loose, dark ringlets of hair that framed her face shook with her sudden laughter, “The senator is a little man with even smaller dreams and ambitions for his pathetic future. He thinks he holds all the cards especially with those around him, but the reality is that he has no idea what is relevant to the world around him in the grand scheme of things. He doesn’t see the big picture.”

“And what might that be?” Scott arched a curious brow.

“Haven’t you figured it out by now Agent Summers?” she laughed lightly. Her hand swatted his shoulder before she released him. She stood up taller, giving him a long, curious once over before she met his eyes again with an amused smirk, “The world goes well and beyond the narcissistic desires of a narrowminded politician whose best days are long since passed him now that he’s a washed up has been. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I’m not really one for politics,” Scott wrinkled his nose at her before offering up a neutral expression.

“And yet you’re a victim of the machine working dutifully for a government that you swear you care nothing for,” she countered making a small movement into his personal space once again, “Tell me Agent Summers, why did you enter into this arrangement with Markus? Why risk it all to be here engaging this right now if not for your own personal sense of entitlement and desire?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Scott mouthed revealing nothing about his position in entering the club. Searching her eyes, he could see that she was trying to read him—to get a grip on what it was that his motivations were as she licked her lips once again. Her beauty was meant to distract him to the point of giving up his secrets, but he remained firm watching her with a stoic expression on his face, “Why waste your talents being subservient to a man whose agenda goes far beyond whatever it is you think he’s doing in having you here to entice his unruly party guests?”

“You still haven’t figured it out, have you?” she practically snorted with laughter. Stepping away from him, she clapped her hands together and chuckled further as if his questioning was the funniest thing she’d ever heard, “And here I’d assumed that you were a bit of an intellectual of sorts in our earlier exchange. Then again perhaps you are nothing more than the pretty face Agent Hill believes you to be.”

“Enlighten me Coral,” Scott challenged watching her recompose herself. She continued to laugh a few seconds longer with her hand pressed over her abdomen. As she stood upright the color in her face rose, but it was the predatory smirk that carried over her ripe, lush lips that caused Scott to take pause in her presence. It was then that Scott found himself thinking back to his exchange with Markus and Maria in Markus’s office.

 _“Remember that things aren’t always as they seem here,”_ Maria’s voice echoed in his mind once again when he felt Coral reaching out to seek his manhood through his trousers. Reaching down, he seized Coral’s wrist preventing her from touching him when the truth behind the facility tour and her seduction attempt became painfully obvious.

“Markus,” Scott frowned pushing her hand away from him as he wondered if this rouse of a tour was always meant as something much darker between them. Now with the beautiful woman before him, he thought of the man he’d left behind in the office with Maria and he frowned, “no wonder you were so eager to take me on this tour.”

“Markus and I are one in the same,” Coral explained leaning in closer to him. Her sultry lips parted, revealing the tip of her pink tongue when her eyes lit up with amusement, “To deduce that I’m merely an employee of his working to serve a superficial agenda is an insult at best.”

“On the contrary, this seems like the true insult,” Scott began thinking about what he’d witnessed back in Markus’s office. Now that Coral carried with her that same smug, arrogant smirk that Markus carried with him in the bodyguard’s outer shell, he found himself piecing the puzzle together when it became clear what was happening.

“I told you that I would be delighted take you on that personal tour Agent Summers. You didn’t truly believe that I would pass the task onto someone else, now do you?” Coral laughed lightly.

“So, you’re saying that…,” Scott couldn’t mask the surprise in his voice.

“I’m no stranger to desire Agent Summers and I can see that there is something very special about you,” she divulged further. Leaning in closer yet, she scratched her nails lightly over Scott’s chest, teasing over the faint trail of hair exposed by the now open material. With a wicked smirk, she pushed her hand up over his shoulder and smiled seductively, “Despite your reluctance to give in to temptation, I’ll have you know that I’m well versed on what a man truly desires.”

“Be that as it may I’ve never given you my consent nor do I plan on doing so anytime soon,” Scott cleared his throat and stood up taller. He attempted to keep a neutral tone as her long, slender leg pushed forward, planting itself between his thighs. The movement caught him by surprise when her fingers shifted up over the curve of his shoulder.

“Perhaps we can come to terms on a different type of negotiation between just the two of us?” she wiggled her brow suggestively.

“Not likely,” Scott frowned reaching out to collect her wrist.

“The lines can often be blurred when presented with temptation,” she tipped her head up to look at him once again, “Given your eagerness to get to the heart of things happening here, I would imagine you’re a smart enough man to see that if you want to get a little, then you have to give a little.”

“Just like what you experienced earlier this evening with the senator?” Scott arched a curious brow, “Tell me something, did he reject your offer as well before you framed the situation in an unsavory light?”

“He’s an unsavory,” Coral replied behind pinched lips, “You witnessed just how desperate he was…”

“I know what I thought I saw,” Scott tipped his head down to look at her more directly, “but now I have to question if that was simply orchestrated to fit into another agenda.”

“Senator Hayes is deplorable. I thought we’d already covered that.”

“We have, but at the same time I can see that you seemed pleased with your ability to exploit that particular personality trait tonight,” Scott reminded her with a frown, “which leads me to believe that particular exchange was meant to further discredit him for an audience in the club. What purpose did he serve to furthering your agenda tonight?”

“Senator Hayes was merely a bug meant to be squashed, but you…well, you are a wild card. You intrigue me and it’s rare that someone manages that feat. When I saw you with Agent Hill tonight, I realized that you were one variable in this equation that I couldn’t account for. You were an anomaly if you will and it made your arrival more captivating to me,” Coral licked her lips again. Without warning she shoved Scott up against the metallic wall in the hallway they were in before her grin expanded, “From what I’ve observed you’re a delicious morsel meant to be savored in every way imaginable—beautiful and bright in ways that so many others who enter my club tend to be lacking in.”

“Look,” Scott felt her bring her knee up between his thighs, pushing up to work forward and backward in a blatant massage meant on capturing his attention. With an agitated sigh, he brought his hand up over hers on his shoulder, “I thought I was clear before in our earlier conversation, but this…it isn’t what I’m looking for tonight. When my partner and I arrived together, we anticipated a meeting in good faith and…”

“This is about good faith,” Coral countered with a small scowl, “You and I are renegotiating the terms of this arrangement in a way that is more beneficial to the both of us considering that…”

“I’m here for the tour that was promised to me and…” Scott frowned in response.

“I understand that Agent Summers, but at the same time if you want a taste of what I have to offer, then you have to give me a taste of what I desire. It’s as simple as that,” her voice coldly shot back in warning, “You don’t honestly believe that your partner would’ve allowed you to accompany me on your own without realizing that this was an inevitable outcome for us.”

“My partner and I are here to conduct business,” Scott replied in a curt, agitated tone.

“And we are,” Coral urged him on further, “If you do what is good for me, then I, in turn, will treat you quite well. The lengths that I can go to in order to give you what you want can be quite rewarding if you allow yourself to find true freedom Agent Summers. All you have to do is give in to temptation.”

“I’m afraid you’ve misread my intentions when I requested a tour of the facility,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown thinking about their earlier exchange in the office, “I’d asked you to give me insight on what it was like to run this operation from your perspective out of curiosity in learning more about the partnership we are about to enter into with you and your associates.”

“And that is what I am offering you in providing you with an unfiltered experience,” Coral argued pointedly.

“It seems more like you have a ploy only meant to serve in putting off my questioning,” Scott countered with a scowl, “What don’t you want me to see here?”

“It isn’t about denying your insight on my operation,” Coral’s voice echoed the same hollow sentiment that the bodyguard resonated back in the office, “It’s about delivering you something more beyond the mundane.”

“Despite what you have learned about human nature give the clientele you have here, sex isn’t the only way to neutralize a potential threat,” Scott countered with a frown, “I can understand that you have your guard up about revealing your empire, but…”

“You asked me what it was like to be a god in the making,” Coral explained pointedly, “and now I’m sharing that with you.”

“This feels a bit remedial for a god,” Scott groaned outwardly thinking about the weight of the situation he was in.

“On the contrary being a god, you can find a way to master the art of discovering one’s true pleasures,” Coral’s voice hinted at darkness before him. She smiled seductively before reaching for the side of his face again, “Tonight you can have anything you desire if you allow yourself to give in to the temptation that I’m more than willing to provide you in our exchange. Give me what I want, and I will deny you nothing from here on out.”

“I want a tour,” Scott clarified with a frown reaching up again to prevent Coral from touching his cheek, “That was the arrangement we agreed upon.”

“That isn’t where you wanted this to end. We both know that you’re yearning for something more. It has evaded you for so long that you’re almost afraid to ask for it, but it doesn’t make you want it any less, does it?” Coral questioned shaking free of Scott’s grip, “You’ve been denying yourself what you want for so long that it’s burning you up inside—eating you alive…”

“What I want is…” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension upon the conclusion of Coral’s words.

“Freedom. You want to escape the chains that the world has imprinted upon you. Even now I can sense that there’s something inside of you that’s missing—almost broken because you’ve been denied yourself the one thing that you truly desire. You ache for it, yet simultaneously torture yourself for wanting it,” Coral challenged catching Scott off guard with her words, “It’s why you came here tonight. You came seeking out that which you desire the most and if you are nice to me, then I can give it to you Agent Summers. Anything you could ever dream of…”

“…except the tour of the facility, right? I mean that’s what this is really about,” Scott countered with a frown, “You’re putting me off again because you don’t want me to learn what is really happening here.”

“What is happening here is mundane in comparison to what could be happening if you play your cards right. I can sense so much unfulfilled sexual desire brewing inside of you. It resonated from within, pouring out over your every synapse from the moment you arrived at my club. You reeked of it from the moment I first spotted you,” Coral challenged. Thinking about Maria back in the office with Markus in the bodyguard shell, Scott couldn’t help, but ponder just what was happening in the exchange with his impromptu partner.

“Is that your professional observation or simply wishful thinking your part?” Scott quipped with an air of sarcasm in his tone. For a moment his thoughts returned to Logan in remembering his purpose for showing up at the club. Instantly guilt poured out over him causing him to question how his actions in practically stalking Logan in a desperate and uninvited attempt had spun the night into his working as Maria Hill’s partner on what he imagined was undoubtedly going to be one of the more challenging cases he’d unwillingly inserted himself into on a whim.

“Agent Hill is very desirable, but you would be so much more of an enticing prize with that sweet, succulent mouth of yours. Just imagining the taste of you when you come undone would readily motivate me to push this deal along faster. If you were willing to play nice, then I could use my powers of persuasion to encourage my associates to speed up negotiations,” Coral’s voice hinted at a husky slur. Her hand pressed over his groin area working her fingers over his trousers in a blatant slide when he felt her free hand working its way over towards the pocket where Maria has slipped him the object she’d concealed before his departure from the office. Immediately warning bells went off in his mind drawing him to full alert when he realized that perhaps the seduction attempt was a rouse meant at distracting him all over again in order to obtain whatever Maria had given him.

“Enough with the games,” Scott snapped readily shoving Coral away from him before she could fully reach into his pocket. A frown creased over his lips before he took another long look at the illusion of the woman before him, “Why take this form Markus?”

“You seemed like a man with specific tastes when I caught you looking at me in the club,” Coral’s agitated voice sounded out. She puffed her chest out, bringing her index finger over the top of her breast bone to draw his eyes upon the soft, supple skin over her manufactured form, “I knew that you would be in need of proper persuasion and given your implied tastes for brunettes given your association with Agent Hill, this skin seemed more than appropriate given the circumstances.”

“And with the senator?” Scott challenged with an arched brow thinking about the earlier exchange.

“He served his purpose tonight,” she liked her lips eagerly only to reveal the same nefarious smirk that had chilled him to the bone in Markus’s office earlier, “just as you will when we get to this ‘tour’ of ours.”

“I’m married,” Scott blurted out raising his hand up in the air. Despite the weight of what the statement carried with it, he displayed his golden wedding band making a point to flash it in front of Coral’s eyes and to offer up clarity in his rejection. He held it up hoping that it would serve as an obvious stopping point for whatever game Markus had initiated, but as his eyes fell upon it, he felt the weight of its reminder in the center of his chest.

“Most of my guests are,” Coral shrugged, “What’s your point Agent Summers?”

“I’m not going to fuck you. Contrary to your misguided beliefs, I’m not like most of the people who walk into this club seeking out the fantasy you offer. There isn’t any kind of untapped sexual energy brewing inside of me. I’m a happily married man with no interest in exploring any fantasy you think that I’m desperately seeking out,” Scott clarified with a frown catching the way that Coral’s lips curved downward in disappointment.

“So, you and Agent Hill are…” Coral’s words trailed off when Scott thought back to the display that he and Maria had put on in the office. At the time Scott hadn’t thought anything of it beyond a simple distraction maneuver, but now in thinking about his declaration, he realized that Markus must’ve taken his words to mean that Maria was his wife. Suddenly on edge, he hoped that she wouldn’t want to slaughter him for revealing his ring. Granted, they hadn’t really gotten too deep in their cover story, but after Scott’s declaration, he realized that there was no taking it back now.

“That’s right,” Scott lied hoping like hell that Maria didn’t kill him after he’d given Markus a kernel of the cover story that was practically writing itself.

“I see,” Coral replied behind a pinched expression. There was a flash of irritation behind her eyes, a sense of disappointment due to lack of triumph on her part when it seemed that Markus had misjudged Scott’s nature.

Taking it as a sign to shake things up further, Scott glared down at the shell before him that Markus had taken in a misguided attempt to entice Scott, “If this tour was merely a rouse set with that goal in mind, then I’m afraid that you’re sadly mistaken about my intentions here tonight.”

“Am I?” she challenged making a small movement in his direction, “Because I’m very seldom wrong about the unspoken needs and desires of those who walk through the doors of this club. I know my clientele rather well and…”

“Agent Hill and I are very solid in our personal and professional lives,” Scott clarified careful not to reveal more than he had to.

“A pity,” Coral sighed defeatedly.

“Look, we’re about to enter into a professional partnership with you,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown feigning an air of insult in contemplating what was happening with Maria back in the office. Thinking about the mysterious object in his pocket, he attempted to keep Markus at arm’s length for the time being. Knowing that whatever it was would prove to be something important given that Maria had made sure that she’d given it to Scott with specific albeit vague instructions, he stood up taller attempting to put off Markus and his misplaced attempts at seduction, “To be duplicitous like this in pretending to engage in a negotiation with my partner while attempting to seduce me…”

“At this moment I’m very much engaged in the tedious negotiation process with Agent Hill that I promised her,” Coral’s plump lips scowled decisively. She shook her head allowing her hair to fall freely around her bare shoulders.

“How is that possible?” Scott challenged further.

“Anything is possible when you enter into the world I’ve created,” Coral’s lips curved upward once again revealing the same predatory smirk that had become a staple of Markus and his expressions. She reached up into her thick, dark hair releasing the clip that held it in place at the crown of her head. Wordlessly she shook her head and allowed it to fall past her shoulders when she kept her eyes on Scott.

“Is that right?” Scott couldn’t help but frown back at her.

“Absolutely,” she nodded, “You’re simply caged by the limitations that the human condition offers to the experience. You believe that just because you are unilaterally focused on one thing that someone of my stature would be limited to the same contextual arrangements.”

“So then am I to believe that you’re omnipresent?” Scott arched a curious brow watching as she repositioned herself on the floor before him.

“You said it yourself that I’m on the road to becoming a god,” Coral’s eyes flashed with amusement. She reached out to brush her thumb over her own plump, bottom lip allowing sensation to coil over her form when Scott watched her with a newfound curiosity. As she delved into her thoughts, he started to wonder what else Markus could shed light upon in this new world he’d created that went beyond the experience of pedaling illegal drugs to elite clientele, “A god’s power is limitless. It is without boundaries and…”

“You’re stalling,” Scott challenged making a bold step towards Coral, “All of this is serving no purpose other than to prevent me from seeing what it is you truly have to offer in our exchange. You’re afraid to share your secrets with me. Admit it.”

“On the contrary,” Coral replied reaching up behind her neck to press her fingers over the strip of material keeping her minidress up over her body. With a flick of her wrist she unknotted it allowing the silken material to fall to the floor at her feet. When it pooled at her shoes, she raised her leg stepping out of the material and placed her arms down at her sides to reveal nothing more than the thin strip of pale blue material over her hip covering her femininity. Aside from that she was clad in the skin she was manufactured in and a voracious smile. Stepping forward she reached out easing her arms around his shoulders attempting to draw him in to her again, “this could all be the fantasy world you never knew you were looking for when you entered the club tonight. I could give you pleasures that would make your trivial world pale in comparison to what you could experience here. I could make you forget your wife long enough to get your dick hard in ways that you’d only dreamt about before tonight.”

“Not interested,” Scott’s jaw flexed with agitation, ignoring the blatant attempts that Markus was throwing out at him with the soft, feminine curves pressed tightly against him. As they stood together in the center of the hallway, so close to the doors that Scott had noticed upon his arrival, yet so far away from the truth, he found his frustration mounting. Lowering his arms down at his side, he refused to make any further contact with Coral knowing only too well that Markus was undoubtedly preying on the misguided notions over what Scott was when he’d arrived in the club, “Not everyone is a slave to those kind of desires.”

“Most humans and mutants I’ve met all share the same primitive instinct—the same urgent fantasies that guide them to temptation. Granted a great many of them live repressed lives, but once they step through the doors to my club, they let go of the expectations that the world put upon them,” Coral explained as his body tensed up beside her.

“Not me,” Scott assured her stiffly, “Truth be told all of this negates any good faith that I’d believed we’d achieved between us here tonight. These games are merely meant to sway me from sampling the atmosphere in this facility without a biased opinion.”

“You’re no fun,” Coral scowled shaking her head at him with obvious distain when it was clear that her seduction attempts had failed, “You know what they say about all work and no play Agent Summers.”

“It makes for a productive negotiation,” Scott answered coldly, refusing to indulge Markus’s wild attempt at distraction. Frowning, he raised his hand up looking to his watch. Noting the time before glancing over at Coral once again, Scott let out a long, exaggerated breath of agitation, “If this little game is all you have for me, then perhaps we should return to the office to resume in the negotiations with your associates.”

“Fine. If that is what you truly desire so be it, but just so you know you’re a buzzkill,” she sighed impatiently.

“I’ve been told that on a great many occasions,” Scott couldn’t help, but smirk in the realization that his ability to kill the mood upon demand was once again an asset to his training. Yes, he had a penchant for self-loathing and torture as of late, but he had learned to block the world out. Time and again he’d found ways to step outside of himself—to enter a situation without emotion or uncertainty and it had proved successful in battle. In in being able to shut himself off from things like what Markus had prepared for him, it had given him an edge in keeping focused on his newfound mission.

“What a pity. If you were smart, we could readily skip over all the fine details and work out our own terms of negotiation with one another…but unfortunately, I misjudged you. You aren’t a man of action, are you?” Coral’s voice mouthed defeatedly. With a tip of her head and a bat of her eyelashes, she silently chastised him for his inability to ‘cooperate’ in their exchange. Still in thinking about what Scott had said to her, she finally relented to his rejection. Bending down to reach for the minidress, she brought it up over her chest before nodding to the hallway beyond where they stood with one another, “I’m afraid that I’ve already given this far too much consideration at this point.”

“What does that mean?” Scott frowned.

“It means that your window of opportunity has passed Agent Summers,” she sighed reaching out to re-pin her hair over the top of her head, “I’m afraid that I’m needed elsewhere now. The tech in the observation room up ahead is named Fred. He’s expecting you to join him for the rest of the tour.”

“Is that right?” Scott questioned doubtfully, “Fred you say?”

“He should be able to provide you with more than plenty of answers onto what we do here. What?” she grumbled with a tight scowl.

“Is he another illusion that is meant to be one of your games? Another one of your alter egos waiting to spring another trap on me?” Scott couldn’t help but ask wondering just what kind of complications this mission would bring upon him and Maria.

“Unfortunately for you he’s a very boring, very trivial human part of this operation. He’s almost as frustrating as you’ve proven to be in our exchange,” Coral huffed lowering the material of the gown once again to spark a reaction in Scott, “His contributions to this project reflect where we are headed with our trials.”

“And he’s going to show me around the facility without your interference?” Scott pushed further when another ripple of agitation carried over Coral’s body.

“You would benefit from my intervention on this tour Agent Summers,” Coral sighed tipping her head to look over at him, “All of this is rather ordinary, and I could’ve readily provided with you something that went beyond a simple walk thru. Hearing it from me firsthand…”

“Isn’t at all what you have in mind for tonight,” Scott pondered watching Markus maneuver the shell of the body he’d slipped into, “Tell me something…is this club simply meant at enticing your guests on this level? Is sex really all that those with unlimited resources seek out in your presence?”

“Some of them would pay top dollar to experience this,” Coral explained. Reaching up, she cupped her breast offering one last attempt at enticing Scott, “The things that they would willingly offer to be in your position tonight, sharing this flesh and the Euphoria that you have in your pocket to achieve new heights that go beyond human comprehension…”

“I’ll pass,” Scott shook his head dismissively.

“Fine,” she scoffed taking a step back, “for now I’ll let you get away with this insult, but down the road if we continue with this partnership, then you’re going to have to give me a little something to sweeten the deal Agent Summers in order to motivate me to continue to play nice with you and Agent Hill. After all I look after those who look after me if you will.”

“Perhaps Agent Hill misled you on my position in all of this,” Scott clarified with a frown, “I’m here on a professional basis. Anything beyond that is inappropriate and…”

“Everything about our exchange tonight steps outside the limitations of appropriateness,” Coral warned giving him one last, longing look, “For now it might seem taboo, but sooner or later you’ll find that this night will be something you regret long after everything is said and done. By the time you realize what you want, it might be too late for us to pick up where we left off with one another.”

“It’s a risk that I’m going to have to take,” Scott smiled sweetly knowing full well that he’d undoubtedly taken a step in the direction of pissing Markus off in ways that he wasn’t quite sure that Maria would approve of. However, in thinking about the task at hand, he refused to allow himself to ponder what her response to his denying Markus would be now that he was set on completing his own mission.

“A pity,” Coral sighed shaking her head at him once again before stepping aside, “However, I can’t waste another moment on this. I have a situation that I must attend to that is of the upmost importance. I’m certain you can make your way down to our observation room. It’s down the hall first door on the right.”

“Thank you,” Scott replied turning to make his way towards his destination without a distraction.

Scott paused momentarily, looking over his shoulder to see that Coral was watching him with curious eyes. He contemplated his words, wondering if this was all part of the distraction meant to keep Maria’s end running smoothly when she’d sent him off with this version of Markus serving as enticing eye candy. Still in thinking about his original purpose in entering the club, he stood up taller and turned around making his way down the hallway towards the observation room in question. He could feel the weight of Coral’s eyes upon him with each step he took, could almost hear the disappointment in her breathing, in the way that she seemed to finally stomp off in a new direction disappointed with Scott’s dismissal. Hesitating momentarily, Scott looked back down the hallway to discover she was gone before he let out a breath of relief.

“Just what did I get myself into,” he questioned moving towards the room Coral had directed him to.

Once Scott reached the doorway, he’d discovered it was partially open to reveal an oversized room filled with monitors and computer equipment from floor to ceiling. In the center of the room it looked like a render farm of sorts with multicolored various blinking lights on the machinery that served as a hub to the room before him. There was a low, whirring sound of the processors at work and a section near the far right closed off by a metal cage that also contained blinking equipment, but it was the sound of music from Blue Oyster Cult’s (Don’t Fear) The Reaper playing near the right of the doorway that captured his attention. He turned his head to seek out the source of the sound and discovered an old, withered black colored radio placed on top of a long, light colored desktop. At the center of the desk, he spotted a short, portly man with a bag of tortilla chips in hand and a large soda on the counter haphazardly using one hand to click at the keyboard before him. He was crunching on his chips, really getting in to eating them as a laugh bubbled over his lips. He clicked at a couple more keys on his keyboard before shaking his head and smirking.

“Got you,” the man chortled when Scott realized the man was playing an internet-based game that was displayed on the monitor directly in front of him. In his enthusiasm to eat and play, Scott realized that the man wasn’t all that interested in Scott’s arrival. Taking a step further into the room, Scott noticed that the man was dressed in a white lab jacket with an identification badge that had his photo on it alerting him that he was in the man Scott was seeking out. Scott suspected that he was supposed to looking at a wall of monitors before him, but instead he was clicking a few command keys as Scott observed a digital muscle bound male character on the screen moving around in hilly terrain with a tiny pink speedo on as a costume and a rifle in his hand. Saying nothing Scott observed the tech further noting that he had wire rimmed glasses on his face and full, rounded cheeks that made him look like a cherub or a jolly elf of sorts when Scott stepped further into the room. Unaware of Scott’s presence, the man continued to play his game, rounding his character around a corner of the terrain until he approached a building on the screen. Scott watched as the digital man on the computer opened the door to reveal a room filled with other computer-generated male characters, nude and all moving in to proposition the character that Fred was controlling until finally Fred selected one of the taller, more muscular characters to interact with. He licked his lips, bringing his hands together and rubbing them excitedly before clicking on the keys again.

“That’s right,” Fred spoke up triumphantly as the two characters on screen came together in an embrace that went beyond any appropriate game play Scott had witnessed in a game. As the music shifted, he watched the screen turn into something a bit more adult oriented as Fred reached into the bag of chips again to take in the virtual show before him. Clearing his throat, Scott watched as the man practically leapt out of his chair in shock.

“Fred?” Scott questioned seeing the nervousness in the man’s movements. There was something about his eyes and his face that read the opposite of what Scott had experienced with Coral and Markus. He was terrified—worried about being caught off guard in his less than professional position in his gaming. However, there was something in his fear that caused him to snort and huff.

“Ye…yes…” Fred stammered.

“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting,” Scott smiled politely despite the situation he’d walked into.

“No…problem. I was just…” Fred’s rounded face grew a deeper shade of crimson.

“Not anticipating company,” Scott replied with a small nod. Still in keeping his guard up, Scott observed the room around him before speaking again, “Markus said you’d be waiting for me to give me a tour of the facility.”

“Of course. Yes…yes I am…Agent Summers,” Fred replied quickly working to close the game he’d been playing when worry flashed over his features. He stumbled to rise from his seat setting the bag of chips down on top of the counter before him. He moved forward preparing to offer his grease covered hand to Scott before he rethought the gesture. He looked down at his thick fingers and palm before pushing it against the side of his sloppy jeans. Once he was satisfied that he’d cleaned it enough to be suitable for a handshake he offered his hand to Scott once again, “It’s a pleasure to finally have you down here in my workshop. I’ve heard so much about Agent Hill’s silent partner for so long that we all wondered if you even existed.”

“Is that right?” Scott looked to the man’s hand before him. Still seeing the grease smeared over the man’s fingers, Scott reluctantly reached out to accept the handshake.

“Oh yes,” Fred nodded readily. He gripped on Scott’s fingers tightly, holding on almost too long to be appropriate when Scott noticed the way that Fred looked him over, clearly scrutinizing him in the moment much as Markus had, “and I think you’re going to like what you see here as the down payment that you and Agent Hill have so generously provided was able to bring us one step closer to our end game goal in all of this.”

“Oh?” Scott arched a curious brow.

“The trials have been going exceedingly well if I do say so myself. Without your funding, I don’t know if we would’ve been able to get as far as we have with them given that there weren’t many people sympathetic to the cause in getting this project up and running especially after all of those congressional meetings,” Fred rambled on nervously when Scott pulled away from the hand shake.

“Agent Hill and I have always held an interest in things that have gone beyond our own limitations,” Scott offered up wondering just how deep Maria had to get in order to work her way into whatever it was that Markus was running there in the club. Suddenly on edge, Scott found him questioning what S.H.I.E.L.D.’s purpose was in infiltrating such a club. At first it had seemed like a simple mission, but now in knowing what he’d learned about Markus and the club itself, he had to wonder just what the government’s end game was in sending Maria on this mission.

“We’re very grateful that your generosity has paved the way to our being able to enter the next phase if you will. As of lately the trials have been elevated beyond our expectations and…” Fred started motioning for Scott to follow him over towards the wall of monitors, “we cannot be more delighted with the results. Despite the initial skepticism involved with the project’s beginnings, I think you’ll be very pleased to discover that the Euphoria is going above and beyond stepping outside of the initial limitations we’d anticipated and…”

“Limitations?” Scott questioned looking to the wall of monitors before him. On the one before him, he noticed the black and white feed of a woman spread out on a chair of sorts. It reminded him of a dentist’s chair as she was reclined back with a heavy piece of metallic gear over the top of her head. Her eyes were covered by thick, darkened goggles that were seemingly keeping her attention as she writhed on the tabletop chair on screen before him. He watched as her fingers were firmly embedded beneath the hospital gown she was wearing, clearly indicating that she was masturbating as Scott’s eyes widened with surprise. To the left of the girl on the monitor there was a man in a similar position twisting and fidgeting on the table with fingers clenched into fists at his sides. He was moaning slightly as Scott found himself surveying the wall of monitors before him, “These are the test subjects for the trials?”

“The volunteers,” Fred clarified readily, “and each one of them is here for their own escape tonight as they are every night since we began with the trials.”

“Every night?” Scott questioned looking to the plump man beside him.

“That’s right” Fred nodded reaching for his bag of tortilla chips once again. Reaching into the bag, he pulled out two oversized chips and brought them to his mouth in a chomp, “We never made long term participation a requirement, but then again we knew we wouldn’t have to. Each one of them has returned since day one eager to get more of the experience.”

“And just what does the experience entail?” Scott questioned looking to the lower left of the monitors and seeing a woman embracing an invisible figure above her. She was simultaneously laughing and crying as she was speaking to someone who wasn’t in the room with her.

“It depends on the fantasy involved in the experience,” Fred further explained in between chomps of his chips. He reached out to the drink before him and took a long, loud sip of it, “They each come in here with different hopes and expectations and we provide them with…”

“The experience,” Scott finished surveying the monitors once again only to discover the various people on the screens, each caught up in their own ‘trial’ before him, “How many of them are we talking about?”

“Five hundred,” Fred answered readily. He set his soda down once again before pointing to a pile of papers on top of his desktop, “but given the overwhelming reaction to the experience we’re anticipating doubling it by the end of the month and…”

“They simply submit to whatever this is,” Scott tapped the monitor before him pointing to a man who appeared to be simulating driving a car on the table before him, “What exactly does this ‘fantasy’ entail for the volunteer?”

“Each fantasy is dependent upon the subject,” Fred explained drawing in an excited, urgent breath, “Take for example Patient 102. She’s been dealing with a horrible bout of insomnia for the last few years after her husband’s tragic accident. Each night she’d dealt with terrors that have prompted her to suicidal tendencies. In coming here we’ve been able to provide her with peace over the experience and a good night’s rest for a change.”

“So essentially she’s sleeping?” Scott questioned looking to the screen that Fred now pointed at.

“She’s in an altered state of consciousness brought on by the Euphoria, but what she’s actually experiencing goes beyond mere sleep. It’s a relaxation unlike any she’s ever known where she’s able to relive the best moments she shared with her late spouse while coming to terms with her reality. This trial has worked with the goal in mind to bring her peace and closure on the tragedy that surrounded her life and this one,” Fred pointed to another monitor before him, “Patient 45 lost his limbs as the result of a military accident when he was sent off to war. He’s been dealing with a horrible sense of PTSD since his return to civilization. He’s a rare case however.”

“How so?” Scott questioned looking over at the monitor that Fred had singled out.

Grinning Fred further explained, “While he’s in the process of getting new limbs, we keep him wired up to the machine at all hours. Most of the volunteers only come in at night for their time of treatment and then resume in their daily activities. However, we felt that this patient would benefit from long term exposure. He agreed to the ongoing trials and we’re hoping to soothe his anxiety until he’s able to get to the next level of his treatment.”

“And he agreed to that? To be locked into treatment at all hours?” Scott couldn’t help, but question.

“Not many have felt the need for that extreme, but those who have offered up complete submission to the trials have opened the door to further studies for us,” Fred answered readily as a smirk carried over his plump features, “Granted we’d love to have all of them here to be monitored twenty four seven, but alas a great many of them have lives to lead outside of this facility.”

“And they come and go each night as they please?” Scott pondered what Fred was saying to him.

Fred nodded, “They are free to live their lives behaving as if they aren’t a part of this particular trial. After they sign the NDA we have no problems with them leaving, but with the special cases, well, those have different rules that apply to them if you will.”

“You keep them here as prisoners,” Scott noted looking to the patient with PTSD on the screen before him.

“On the contrary,” Fred added with a quick breath of excitement, “their enthusiasm for the treatment only serves to make their participation even more thrilling for them. In those cases, as with all of them they are voluntary. Everyone you see on the screen is here of their own volition eager to take part in the next step in evolution that we have to offer.”

“You’re saying that every one of these people are all willing volunteers?” Scott couldn’t mask the surprise that carried over him in looking at the wall of volunteers before him, all hooked up to the strange machine and injected with Euphoria.

“Very willing. They all have agreed to our treatment plans we’ve laid out for them,” Fred explained pointedly, “Each one has their own specific program to follow, but they trust us implicitly in their participation with their recovery and…”

“So, you’re saying that…?” Scott’s eyes widened in surprise seeing the man before him on the table without arms or legs. The sight was shocking, but as the man was smiling behind the goggles before him, Scott couldn’t help, but wonder if he’d been wrong about the club’s purpose, “These are all medical cases?”

“Not all of them. Some of them are a little more complicated than that whereas others,” Fred replied motioning to the screen Scott had noticed earlier where the woman had been touching herself, “have a bit more basic approach in their being here. Patient 18 was working through sexual disfunction after a failed relationship, so she’s here to…”

“Find a fulfilling alternative to being alone,” Scott finished flippantly as Fred’s enthusiastic nod caused him to realize he hadn’t been far off.

“A lot of our subjects are seeking out the kind of fulfillment that they aren’t able to obtain in the world today. Many of our volunteers are sexually repressed and have never felt the ability to seek out a more open platform to explore their desires,” Fred continued to boast proudly, “We offer them a safe alternative giving them what they want without all of the hassle involved in the mundane day to day activities that brought them to this position to begin with.”

“So, you’re saying for them it’s about giving in to fantasy, much like those in the club,” Scott contemplated the world he’d entered into with Markus at the helm, “If that is the case, then why have them participate in the trials? The club seems to accomplish that goal in mind where sex and sexuality is concerned.”

“It runs deeper than that,” Fred insisted with another chomp of his tortilla chips. Scott watched as Fred pushed a few broken pieces into his mouth. With each open and close of his mouth, he spoke up in between bites, “These subjects are at wit’s end—beyond any rational comprehension about what they need to do in order to obtain what they desire. They are repressed far more than the hedonists that Markus invites to explore his club. These volunteers are at a point where they’ve lived so deep in denial about their true motives and instincts that they are caught up in a world where they are without other alternatives. The outside world has forbidden them from exploring their identity, but here in the safe space of these walls…”

“They can enter into a world of sexual freedom and promise without limitations,” Scott finished thinking about what Markus had proposed to him out in the hallway.

“Sexuality plays a deep role in human desire and longevity,” Fred noted catching the air of skepticism in Scott’s tone, “So many people take that for granted, but it is vital to one’s well-being to be able to explore a healthy, functional sexual fantasy life where one can find freedom outside of the limitations of the world they surround themselves with.”

“Again, I assumed that was the goal Markus had in mind with his club. In these trials, you made some of them sound as if they served an altruistic purpose towards medical advances, yet…”

“For some of our volunteers, it is vital to their future for us to explore this outlet with them,” Fred answered readily, “While I’m no Freudian, I’m well aware of the basic needs and desires a person must carry with them to lead a healthy, happy life. So many times, people get caught up in the image of what they believe they are supposed to be so much so that they start building these walls around them. With each wall they start closing themselves off—isolating themselves from any kind of contact with the world around them. They lose sight of what is important, and we provide them the opportunity to reconnect with the world they’ve lost. We are their last chance for happiness and…”

“Happiness,” Scott couldn’t help, but laugh nervously at the thought of what was happening on the screens before him, “by feeding them a Euphoria induced illusion? How is that possible?”

“This is a safe space. In the trials they have found the ultimate freedom in this setting,” Fred couldn’t help, but frown at Scott’s response, “In our safety net they can explore the world that they’ve always longed for without the fear or judgment of the world around them. They can be who they were always meant to be without prejudice or compromise.”

“At what cost?” Scott challenged contemplating the weight of the trials, “You said it yourself that they are able to go about their daily living once their time in the trial has expired. What is to say that they can handle the weight of dealing with reality when you’ve convinced them that Euphoria is a better alternative to reality? Aren’t you worried about potential side effects to the trials? That it could become addictive the more they are exposed to it?”

“Reality isn’t always the best option,” Fred wrinkled his nose at Scott’s line of questioning, “As much as we’d like to believe that the world we live in is a place where those around us can find their position in life and move forward to be their best selves, the notion in itself is outdated and a little bit naïve. This is the future.”

“Is it now?” Scott arched a contemplative brow.

“Haven’t you ever found yourself wondering what it would be like if you were living your best life Agent Summers?” Fred challenged tipping his head up to give Scott a long, contemplative once over. Silently he held his bag of chips out towards Scott offering him a taste. When Scott shook his head in refusal Fred shrugged and resumed in his snacking, “Isn’t there something that you wish you would’ve been able to change or enhance to make your life better? Easier even?”

“Life is hard,” Scott frowned.

“But what if it didn’t have to be?” Fred challenged him, “What if you could systematically break down all the things that brought you to a feeling of hopelessness and despair in your life? What if you could pull out your single biggest mistake in your life and reclaim it, turning it around so that you could have all you’ve ever desired?”

“A person’s mistakes define who they become,” Scott replied behind a flexed jaw, “Mistakes build character.”

“What if a person is never truly able to rise above their mistakes? What then? Should they be left to be discarded by society because what they desire doesn’t fit into traditional mores?”

“Life isn’t always about fitting in. It is about learning to adapt to the world around you,” Scott answered thinking about the life he’d put behind him, “Yes, it isn’t perfect, but what you have is yours. What you make of it is a part of being alive and…”

“What if you didn’t have to be limited to the cards you were dealt? A poor man could be wealthy beyond imagination. An undesirable could become the most desired person imaginable. A blind man could see. A man teetering on the edge of sanity could reclaim his grip on reality. What if you could find that point where you are surrounded by bliss living the life you’ve always known you were meant to be experiencing? Without fear of condemnation? Without worry of being judged for your desires?” Fred questioned looking to his keyboard and clicking a few buttons, “What would you do in order to ensure all of your dreams could come true? What would you give for a second chance to get things right?”

“It all sounds tempting in theory, but we both know that it’s all an illusion. The subjects might feel like their dreams are becoming a reality, but it’s all manufactured through the Euphoria,” Scott answered readily.

“Ah, a skeptic,” Fred’s lips curved upward in a smirk while he clicked at the keys before him.

“A realist,” Scott corrected with a frown.

“I can see why Markus sent you down to me,” Fred laughed enthusiastically.

“I asked to see what he was doing at the facility here,” Scott clarified watching as Fred rubbed his palms together excitedly.

“Then today is your lucky day because this will be an eye opener for you,” Fred promised him, “This is where it gets good.”

“Because you’re providing manufactured fantasies for those high on Euphoria…”

“Euphoria is only the first step into opening the door to having everything you’ve ever desired,” Fred continued in an impassioned tone, “I realize that you’re more of a statistics and money man, but as you can see these subjects are caught up in a freedom unlike any we’ve ever known. What they are experiencing right now goes beyond fate. It takes them to a new freedom that…”

“Is based on a lie,” Scott replied with an air of skepticism. He opened his mouth to say something more, but stopped himself when he realized that the more he talked, the closer he was to blowing his cover, “All I’m saying is that this is a lot to take in and as an investor I need to be sure that my funds aren’t misplaced in some arbitrary circle jerk so to speak.”

“Believe me I get it, but the more time you spend in observation here, the more you see that they have a freedom that the rest of us have never found,” Fred replied clicking a few keys on his keyboard, “The things that they get to experience and unlock in their mind goes above and beyond anything we could’ve ever imagined when this project began.”

“And what does this freedom actually cost them?” Scott couldn’t help, but question surveying the subjects on the screen before him once again, “What do they pay to experience all of this?” 

“They are research for us and given the overwhelming generosity of financial contributors like yourself,” Fred answered readily with a small shrug of his shoulders, “there’s no cost for our intervention.”

“You’re doing this at no cost to them?” Scott’s eyes widened with surprise.

“None whatsoever,” Fred boasted rubbing his hands together once again, “All we require is an application to participate. Then we simply screen our subjects, putting them through rigorous exercises until we work up a sample group within the constraints that we have for this project and…”

“All human?” Scott couldn’t help, but question looking to the volunteers on the screen before him.

“It’s a mixture of both human and mutant or as we put it—the evolved,” Fred answered pointing to another screen where there was a petite looking patient on the table before him, “We are testing the effects on both species given that in theory Euphoria has different reactions to them.”

“Such as dampening mutant powers,” Scott added remembering Maria’s explanation earlier in the night, “You’re using the Euphoria to render those mutants you’ve got as volunteers helpless.”

“Of course not,” Fred shook his head adamantly, “No, no that’s not at all the purpose of this particular testing with the evolved. Granted, some of them would prefer it be that way, but with the latest batch we’ve cooked up, we’ve uncovered the ability to tap into other potential benefits if you will.”

“Such as?” Scott questioned unable to mask his growing curiosity.

“Haven’t you sampled the product?” Fred questioned tipping his head to the side and giving Scott a long, curious once over. He licked his lips making it clear that he was interested in what he saw before him in Scott, “Surely, Markus must’ve been thrilled at the idea of giving you a taste of the product given that…”

“I prefer to learn through observation,” Scott interrupted behind a tight-lipped frown, “I consider myself more of an analytical person rather than taking the hands-on approach.”

“A scientist at heart,” Fred seemed pleased with Scott’s response, “I can’t say that I blame you given that it’s thrilling to watch each one of the volunteers truly embracing what the Euphoria can bring to the table for them. Each case is distinctly different, yet equally thrilling in their explorations. They all have their own purpose in being here, but that doesn’t matter. At the end of the day it is the research that makes the most impact. The data is very compelling if I do say so myself.”

“So, you’re saying that you monitor all of those fantasies they are experiencing?” Scott questioned watching Fred nod again eagerly. He rubbed his greasy palms over the sides of his lab jacket as his eyes shifted over in the direction of the caged electronics indicating that perhaps behind the locked cage door held the secrets to their operation.

“It’s a very voyeuristic process, but then again I’ve always loved observation especially where others are concerned,” Fred continued in an impassioned tone, “It’s given me the opportunity to view the world in a new light if you will and…”

“What do you do with this information that falls into your lap if you don’t mind me asking?” Scott questioned looking over to the caged electronics once again.

“We keep a log of all of it in there,” Fred caught the expression on Scott’s face, “For research purposes only. Our subject information doesn’t go beyond this hub we have for one another and we merely keep it on file for informational purposes to see how the purity level of the Euphoria effects the fantasy and…”

“You keep it stored away for a later time. All of their hidden thoughts and fantasies—all of the Euphoria induced episodes they have you keep all that information,” Scott pointed over towards the oversized servers in the caged room, “over there?”

“For now, that is where we keep our initial data and backup recovery. Granted it is a bit primitive in its execution for the time being given how new all of this is. Due to the sensitive nature of the project, we’ve tried to keep it all in house for the time being so that the competitors don’t get any ideas about stealing all of our work for their own benefit,” Fred nodded accordingly, “Although eventually we are planning to upgrade our servers and take them over to our new warehouse once this negotiation goes through and…”

“Can I take a look at them?” Scott asked looking around the room and taking in the perimeter. Making a mental note of his surroundings, he found himself pondering the object that Maria had deposited into his pocket. He reached his hand down, pressing into his slacks as he began to feel around for the shape and size of it the object decipher it’s meaning, “I’ve always been a bit of a tech fanatic and I would love to see what you’re working with over there.”

“I don’t know about that Agent Summers,” Fred shifted on his feet nervously. He looked up at the ceiling where Scott spotted a security camera looming overhead, “That particular area of the lab is restricted and…”

“You are supposed to give me the grand tour, are you not?” Scott questioned giving Fred a long, curious once over, “Given all the praise that Markus offered up about you, I’d just assumed that…”

“I’ll gladly show you some of the specifics in the volunteer testing—maybe even take you into a private room to see how it works, but over there,” Fred wrinkled his nose at Scott’s suggestions, “We leave that for the tech guys. That’s mostly just the encrypted backup. Inside the servers over there we keep the stored files until our guys come in and dump them onto back up.”

“So those aren’t your complete archives?” Scott noted as Fred turned to face the caged room once again. Quickly pulling the object out of his pocket, Scott recognized it as a high-tech security tracker connected to what appeared to be a flash drive. Although he hadn’t seen that model yet, he’d encountered a few like the one in his hand. Thinking about Maria’s parting words about ‘sticking’ it somewhere, he strongly suspected Maria had handed to him for the sole purpose of data collection. Suddenly things began to make sense as he pushed the drive back into his pocket again.

“No,” Fred shook his head readily, “those are just for this last week. Every Sunday we have our crew come in and transfer the data to a remote location where…”

“You keep it for observation,” Scott finished as Fred looked up at him once again.

“Only for scientific purposes,” Fred clarified watching as Scott moved in closer to the gated doorway. He could feel the weight of Fred watching him, still not making a move to accommodate Scott’s curiosity as Scott reached out to touch the wireframe of the gated wall separating the monitors from the data servers.

“We are on the up and up with this project Agent Summers. All of the information is carefully observed and filed away into a classified system,” Fred finally followed Scott attempting to recapture Scott’s attention.

“Is anything about this truly on the up and up?” Scott spun around to face Fred again with a sly grin, “Truly, is anything about our involvement in this something that we can claim is all in the name of science without any ulterior motive happening?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Fred blinked up at Scott with wide eyes.

“You can’t tell me that the urge to take a closer look at all of this doesn’t tempt you?” Scott wiggled a suggestive brow, “That everything you observe in here given the depth of the fantasies involved, doesn’t get you going every now and then. I’m sure you must’ve seen or heard something that might have piqued your curiosity in a less than professional way.”

“Of course not. I’m a complete professional about everything that goes on here,” Fred huffed walking over to stand beside Scott, “Everything that I do is beyond reproach through the scientific process and…”

“Tell me does that also include Battle Master Realm as well?” Scott countered thinking about what he’d witnessed upon his arrival.

“Technically what you walked in was my lunch break and…” Fred stammered looking over his shoulder again at the monitor he’d been seated at earlier, “Look I was just…”

“It’s a good game that can be a lot of fun if you know how to play it right although digital often pales in comparison to the rush of thrill in live role playing,” Scott replied reaching out to grip at Fred’s shoulder. He squeezed it gently, watching as Fred’s face grew flushed at the contact. Taking it as a sign of encouragement Scott made a bold move in closer to the man before him wondering if Fred was swayed by the same beliefs that Markus held about temptation and humanity, “Don’t worry it can be our secret that you were sneaking in a few rounds on the job.”

“I mean I wasn’t really sneaking. I was just…” Fred’s eyes drifted down over to the lines of Scott’s chest revealed through the top of his partially open shirt.

“I get it. Being alone in the lab all night is lonely,” Scott ran his fingers down over the curve of Fred’s shoulder. Watching Fred’s eyes dilate with want, Scott realized that Maria hadn’t been wrong in opting to use him as a distraction. She’d positioned him to be the embodiment of eye candy in his assignment and given Fred’s willingness to feed into it, he realized that her encouragement hadn’t been misplaced. Despite his own thoughts about his desirability, it seemed that Markus and his employees were all seeking out the same kind of attention as Scott flashed Fred a bright smirk. Sure, it wasn’t his usual tactical approach, but nothing was typical about the mission that he’d unwittingly found himself on, “I mean who doesn’t want to have a little fun on the job every now and then?”

“It’s not that I was…” Fred stammered struggling to find the words when his gaze gravitated to Scott’s lips. It caused him to shift on his feet and clear his throat clearly caught up in thoughts Scott was certain that he wasn’t eager to learn about with the greasy man before him, “I mean…it was all in good fun and…”

“I’m all about good fun,” Scott flirted moving in closer to the smaller man before him. Reaching out in a brazen attempt to persuade Fred to help further his agenda, he touched the side of the man’s face coaxing Fred to look up at him with wide, uneasy eyes, “although I much prefer my fun in the real world as opposed to in the realm of fantasy.”

“I don’t know,” Fred looking down to Scott’s hand upon his shoulder, “There is something that could be said about blending both…”

“Maybe you should unlock the door and we can explore the idea of reality with one another a little bit before we get to the tour Markus promised,” Scott flashed Fred a bright, white smile hoping it would be enough to do the trick to get in closer to the task at hand. Reaching out to touch the side of Fred’s face once again, Scott couldn’t help, but offer up a flirty nod of his head, “As I said before I’m all about learning through observation after all.”

“I mean…I guess it couldn’t hurt to show you the servers since you are about to invest millions in this project and…” Fred’s blush intensified as Scott’s fingers stretched out over his shoulder, sliding up ever so slightly to the side of Fred’s neck in a light teasing brush.

“I like the way you think Fred,” Scott mouthed approvingly, “You’re clearly a very loyal and dedicated employee. I can see what Markus keeps you around.”

“Thank you,” Fred blushed at Scott’s words. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring of keys upon it, shuffling to find the correct lock for the caged door, “but you can’t tell anyone that I let you in here.”

“Trust me by the time we’re finished in there, you’ll be glad that you bent the rules a bit,” Scott touched Fred’s arm, feeling the man shiver upon contact. The thought made Scott cringe internally wondering how it was that this place had caused so many to be swayed by the promise of lust and desire. Then again in a touch starved world such as the one they lived in; Scott realized that a great many of the people there were desperate for connection—including Fred. That thought made him feel guilty—almost guilty in toying with the pitiful, portly man’s emotions knowing only too well that he wasn’t about to deliver on the promises he alluded to with the lab tech before him.

“Markus really wouldn’t be happy with this,” Fred contemplated his actions momentarily. He held the key to the door, pressing it into the lock before he looked over at Scott with a worried expression on his face, “This would have to be our secret.”

“You have my word,” Scott smiled sweetly. He felt the hesitation in Fred’s movement before he unlatched the lock. A few seconds later the caged door swung open and Fred stepped aside to allow Scott access to it.

“After you,” Fred held his arm out, paving the way for Scott to enter the cramped room before him.

“Thank you,” Scott replied knowing that his time for observation was limited. He surveyed the servers before him, catching the blinking lights on each one as he heard Fred’s footsteps behind him. He reached into his pocket again, contemplating where to plant the tracker when Fred spoke up.

“This is our main server. He’s a big boy full of power and a huge hard drive that keeps this project going strong,” Fred moved forward patting his hand on the oversized black, metal box before him. He motioned to the blinking lights upon it before snorting, “This guy is the reason why my job could one day be obsolete if I’m not careful.”

“I doubt that Markus would be foolish enough to get rid of you with all your insight and talents,” Scott wrinkled his nose at Fred’s words. He could see Fred was nervous, shifting on his feet as he rubbed his palms over the side of his thighs. Smiling wider, Scott bridged the distance between them, “Tell me something Fred. Can the security cameras see in here as well?”

“No,” Fred answered readily. He leaned up against the wall behind the server with a lecherous grin, “fortunately there’s no need for observation in here. I’m the only one with the key so there’s no getting in or out unless I’m the one making it happen.”

“Interesting,” Scott glanced over at the security camera mounted on the wall over by the monitors that Fred was seated at earlier, “so then if the two of us were to…do some research in here with one another…”

“It would be totally private,” Fred licked his chapped lips again, “All we would have to do is spend some time in this corner and…”

“Interesting,” Scott scratched his chin. He glanced over at the server again noticing an open port near the back of the machine. Thinking about what he was holding in his pants pocket, he found himself contemplating a way to slip it into the server undetected.

“I can show you a few interesting things,” Fred spoke up suggestively. He bridged the distance between him and Scott, reaching out to touch the parted material of Scott’s black, button down shirt, “Being a man of science I’ve learned a great deal about the human body over the years.”

“Is that so?” Scott questioned watching the way that Fred licked his lips again in affirmation.

“I’m well versed on ways to please a man,” Fred added with heavy emphasis. He dragged his tongue over his bottom lip, indicating where his thoughts were headed as Scott found himself focusing on the greasy stains that Fred had from his hands over his own slacks. Fighting to contain the shudder that carried over him, Scott pulled the drive out of his pocket, simply holding it in his fist before he forced himself to nod down to the floor before him.

“Hmm, well if that’s the case,” Scott spoke up in a husky tone knowing full well that he was about to cross a few lines that he didn’t often cross on a mission, “Why don’t you show me?”

“Right now?” Fred swallowed down with a gulp. Immediately his eyes were redirected to the center of Scott’s slacks thinking about the proposal he’d offered Scott.

“Why not?” Scott shrugged simply, “You said that the cameras can’t see us here.”

“They can’t, but…” Fred stammered seemingly lost in a moment of contemplation as Scott reached out to grab the back of Fred’s head to pull him in closer.

“Don’t tell me you’re all talk, but no action,” Scott flirted tugging at the back of Fred’s hair again. The movement caused Fred to whimper before he finally nodded in resignation.

“I’m not,” Fred promised with shaky hands. He swallowed down hard, slowly lowering himself to his knees with Scott’s hand embedded in the back of his head. Nervous and focused on the task at hand, Scott watched Fred plant himself on the floor reaching out for Scott’s belt buckle hoping to follow through on the task at hand. As he fumbled with the buckle, Scott released the back of Fred’s head opting instead to bring one hand up over the side of his glasses while the other worked to push the drive into the back of the server. Before Fred could finish unhooking Scott’s belt, Scott had lowered his glasses just enough to send a thin, well thought out blast through the opening in the gate over to the security camera. It made a small popping sound, indicating that Scott had been able to short-circuit it with the precision of his blast. He closed his eyes for a moment feeling Fred’s hand over his thigh, preparing to reach out and touch Scott when Scott pushed the tiny drive into the server opening beside him. A moment later he repositioned his head thinking about the schematics of the room and reopening his eyes to send another thin blast through the gated wall to the desktop where Fred’s soda was positioned near the edge. Almost immediately the glass shot up into the air, sending liquid spraying over the desk and onto the floor, with a loud, splashing sound.

“What the…?” Fred questioned looking over his shoulder over in the direction of his desk to discover the spilled beverage working its way over towards the keyboard. Almost immediately he sprung up to his feet rushing out of the caged room and leaving Scott behind in his haste, “shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Scott questioned taking one last look at the tracker drive he’d inserted into the machine. When he was convinced it was in properly, he simply walked out of the room closing the cage door behind him, “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Fred rushed to his desk setup in a panic, “but if this system gets fried, Markus is going to kill me.”

“Do you have any paper towels?” Scott suggested watching Fred rush to clean up the mess that Scott had made. Saying nothing, he kept his eyes on Fred struggling to contain the spill, working frantically to ensure that he didn’t wind up in hot water for his momentary lapse in indulging Scott’s request.

“Look I’m really sorry about this. I don’t know how this happened, but…” Fred struggled to clean with his thick fingers, attempting to pull things together as Scott adjusted the sleeve on his shirt.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Scott spoke up in a smooth, casual tone, “After all we wouldn’t want you to get in over your head because you were breaking the rules, right?”

“I mean no of course not, but…” Fred’s face was now a deep crimson colored shade, “normally I wouldn’t be this careless given all that we’ve got going on here, but…”

“So, this is a live feed we’re getting?” Scott questioned changing the subject when Fred took a seat in his chair once again. He wiped at the keyboard, clicking a few keys on the keyboard to make sure it worked before letting out a relieved breath.

“Yeah, it’s live, but that’s not all. You might like observing this while I work to clean up this mess,” Fred decided to share pointing to the screen with the war vet upon it.

A moment later the picture shifted, and Scott realized he was watching a jungle scene play out before him. The man on the table was still on the table, framed in a tiny rectangle on the bottom left of the screen, but the rest of it was filled with him running through the jungle holding an assault rifle and calling out to members of his team on their current mission. It played out in vivid color on the monitor causing Scott to lean forward with curiosity.

“Is this a memory?” Scott asked.

“It’s more than that,” Fred tapped a few keys on the keyboard once again while he opened a cabinet beside him. He seemed to be looking for paper towels to clean the spill, but when it proved empty, he moved to open another drawer, “It’s his deepest desire brought to life.”

“Is that right?” Scott questioned noticing that on one of the screens there was a woman eagerly accepting an engagement ring from an aesthetically pleasing man before her. He watched as she threw her arms around the man’s shoulders rushing to him with an eager display of urgency as their lips met in a kiss.

“It’s all very straightforward,” Fred gave up on searching for paper towels and reached for what was left of his soda slurping on the straw before him. He made a loud, annoying noise as Scott found himself scanning over the various screens before him. With each one he watched a similar scene of wish fulfillment unfold playing out before his eyes in ways that went beyond what was happening at the club. With each subject it seemed that they were presented with the thing that they’d wanted the most falling into the perfect world that was brought on by Euphoria’s grip on them.

“So, what do you do with this particular data you collect through this process?” Scott asked scanning the monitors.

“As with the physiological data, we keep it for statistical information and…” Fred began to explain the scientific process behind the test subjects when Scott found his eyes focusing on something he hadn’t noticed before. To the far right of the monitors there was another patient fantasy on the monitor. Unlike the others he’d skimmed this one was a scene unfolding in a garden—more specifically a garden Scott was quite familiar with as he walked over for closer inspection.

“It’s all very clear that…” Fred’s words were lost as Scott realized that the monitor before him revealed a man on a motorcycle speeding in over the drive that accompanied the gardens. He was clad in the same, familiar leather jacket and jeans that Scott had observed him in time and time again, returning to the world that Scott had temporarily forgotten in his quest to seek out information for the night. Instead he was getting a clear view of his home, unfiltered and clear as day on the screen before him in the scene.

“Maybe you should go look for those paper towels,” Scott suggested unable to take his eyes off the monitor before him as he observed Logan putting the motorcycle into park. He watched Logan get off his bike, much like he’d done a few nights earlier and suddenly the weight of his observations hit him. Feeling a moment of curiosity and panic overtake him, Scott looked over to Fred again with a worried expression on his face hoping to coax him out of the room, “If Markus came in here and saw the mess…”

“You have a point,” Fred readily agreed. He sprung up from his seat and pointed to the floor again, “Just watch your step and try not to slip. I’ll be right back in a bit and…”

“Sure,” Scott replied watching the portly man shuffle out of the room as thoughts about assisting Maria and her mission took a backseat to the monitor that had captured his attention. Moving forward, he noticed the number 10 mounted at the top of the monitor indicating the volunteer’s patient number. However, as Scott watched a scene unfolding that took him from the gardens to the hallways of the school, he’d left behind him earlier in the day, he couldn’t help, but find himself intrigued by the scene before him.

“Logan, what are you doing?” Scott questioned reaching out to touch the screen as Logan’s detailed walk through the school led him down a path into the Danger Room revealing the secrets of the school that Charles had fought to keep under wraps for so many long. It seemed that in the ‘fantasy’ that played out all of the things Charles had fought to keep hidden from the outside world were on display ready to be observed by Fred, Markus and anyone else who would be able to get their hands on the information that was being provided to them.

With a horrified sensation sinking in over his abdomen, Scott watched as the monitor revealed Logan on the large part of the screen working his way into the Danger Room working through a simulation until midway through Logan’s training, Scott saw himself enter the room. Scott observed how his arrival stopped Logan abruptly—how for a moment they stood and stared at one another saying nothing, but soon it seemed that they were headed on a collision course unlike anything Scott had ever witnessed before in his encounters with Logan. There was an exchange between the two of them—something that could’ve taken place thousands of times over, but this was different. There was something about it that caused Scott to take pause—to watch in confusion as he and Logan were kicking the shit out of each other onscreen.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Scott groaned outwardly looking at the bottom corner of the screen where Logan was like the other patients strapped down to a tabletop wearing a thin hospital gown. His body was strapped down and his teeth were gritted as the larger view of the screen revealed Scott and Logan in the Danger Room fighting one another to the point of no return.

“Of course, only you would fantasize about kicking my ass,” Scott groaned outwardly unable to believe what he was seeing before him on the screen.

There was a flash of claws and blasts, revealing something far more dangerous than any simulation that they’d entered with one another before. It was violent, wild and out of control leading Scott to question if Logan’s fantasy was to tear him apart limb by limb, but somewhere during the fight, Scott realized that the dynamic had shifted. Shortly after Scott had punched Logan in the face, he realized that he’d wound up on the floor, stripped of the top half of his uniform. On the screen Scott’s fingers were coiled tightly over the center of Logan’s t-shirt, scratching and clawing, ripping it away from Logan’s muscled chest in a frenzy. A moment later Scott was arching up off the floor, biting and scratching over Logan’s exposed skin. His lips were roaming wildly, nipping and teasing over Logan’s chest, biting at his nipple when Logan sank back onto the floor allowing Scott to take control in their positioning working to straddle Logan with a firm, commanding grip of his thighs wrapped around Logan’s hips. With his jaw dropped, Scott looked to the bottom of the monitor to the tiny view of Logan stretched out on the tabletop, submitting himself to the Euphoria induced episode while the scene played out in living color.

“You’re going to regret that,” Scott could read Logan’s lips on the screen. He observed Logan’s thick fingers pushing up and over Scott’s torso, sliding up and then down again to Scott’s hips to force Scott to grind up on him. With each movement of his hips, Scott watched Logan arch his head back and groan, pushing his hips up to bump and collide with Scott’s.

“What in the…?” Scott mouthed to himself feeling his face grow flushed as the vision of him on the screen raked his nails over Logan’s chest, tugging on the short strands of dark hair and causing Logan to seemingly growl. A moment later Scott watched Logan slam the him onscreen down onto the ground, pushing Scott face forward into the cold, metal floor. Within seconds, Scott was on his abdomen with Logan’s hands pulling at Scott’s hips, guiding him up off the ground onto his knees.

“Logan…” Scott felt his breath catch in his throat, watching as Logan tore at the remainder of his uniform to shreds. With each slash, Scott watched himself in living color exposed on the screen before him, naked and writhing back urgently. Much like in his fantasy the other day, Logan was over him, pawing roughly at his body, squeezing at his muscled torso, fingers pushing lower over Scott’s abdomen, gripping and teasing. Logan’s mouth was clamped over Scott’s shoulder, biting into his flesh, causing Scott’s head to arch back when Logan’s hands were suddenly between Scott’s thighs, pawing roughly at his flesh, attempting to reach through his thighs to grip and tease at his testicles causing the version of Scott on the screen to buck back into the touch. His head was arched back, twisted into an uncomfortable position when Logan’s fingers coiled through a thick patch of Scott’s damp hair. He wrenched Scott’s head back coaxing Scott into a wild, reckless kiss before his hand dropped down in between Scott’s thighs. The movement was wild, animalistic as Scott found himself watching intently unable to deny how aroused he was by what he was seeing played out on the screen before him. He could hear his breathing intensify, his mind taking him from the reality that he was surrounded with, to the night at his window fantasizing about Logan.

“How in the hell can you be…?” Scott pondered with his eyes shifting between the Logan in the corner of the screen on the table top in the tiny room versus the one who was now on the larger screen working Scott into full submission, positioning himself behind Scott and gripping at his own aroused form, preparing to penetrate Scott from behind when the sound of footsteps caused Scott to look away from the monitor with a gasp.

“I found some,” Fred’s nasal tone caused Scott to practically leap, forcing himself to look away from the monitor when the weight of what he’d witnessed hit him hard. Attempting to play it cool, Scott forced himself to look away from Logan’s fantasy discovering that Fred was standing in the doorway with paper towels in his right hand, “They were in the supply closet down the hallway.”

“Good,” Scott swallowed down a nervous breath, His eyes shifted to the monitor again watching the forbidden scene unfold before him when another thought hit him hard.

 _Logan’s a volunteer,_ Scott reasoned feeling as if he’d been punched in the gut at the realization. Looking to the small feed of Logan on the table, twisting and growing aroused by what was taking place on the larger screen, Scott realized that Logan had subjected himself to the Euphoria testing. Despite his previous concerns about being poked and prodded in being used as a test subject after the hell he’d been through years earlier, he was in the center of the chaos, allowing himself to be monitored and manipulated by an unknown substance that would undoubtedly take him further from reality and into…

 _“Me?”_ Scott heard a voice question inside his head as there was no mistaking what was taking place on the screen before him. Despite Logan’s animosity towards him as of late, there was no denying that Logan was taking pleasure in plummeting into Scott on the screen repeatedly, hard and unrelenting. With each thrust, Scott found himself caught up in the moment, thinking about how his own mind had taken him to a dark place of urgency where Logan was concerned. However, in seeing Logan strapped down to a table, hot and bothered and thinking about claiming Scott as his own, Scott realized that everything was slowly coming together. All the nights that Logan had disappeared hadn’t been to lose himself to drinking. It had been to lose himself to the possibility of what he could never have. Their time in Boston had created a rift, but now watching Logan on the table before him, clearly dosed with Euphoria, Scott found himself wondering what had taken Logan to that point. Had it been what happened in Boston? Was it the weight of the reality that had pushed him over the edge or was it because deep down Logan had wanted to put Scott in his place, to shame him for what they’d almost stepped into time and time again through the years? Was Scott’s lack of follow through the catalyst for the extreme behavior or was it about something deeper as Logan on the screen was rough and wild, giving in to his animalistic side with the fantasy version of Scott eating it up, taking just as much as he was given until finally Logan seemed to let loose on his inhibitions completely.

“This should only take a few seconds,” Fred promised bending down onto his knees and wiping at the floor beside Scott. As the paper towel in his hand was soaking up the sticky liquid, Scott found himself in a moment of panic thinking about the scene he was witnessing.

“These are live feeds,” Scott repeated his earlier statement thinking about how he’d followed Logan into the club.

“Every one of them, but the volunteers…” Fred’s muffled voice came out from under the desk.

“Are here until the morning hours,” Scott finished knowingly watching as the other version of him and Logan had finished up falling to pieces in one another’s arms on the floor of the Danger Room. They were bundled together in a tangled mess of limbs and sweat soaked bodies while the real Logan was strapped to the table panting wildly beneath the darkened goggles that covered his face. His lips were parted, mouth curved in a breathless gasp as his body grew rigid on the table.

“That’s right,” Fred continued to explain, “Those that are able to go out and continue on their daily life are encouraged to do so while we run through the trials. Most seem to be fine once they are out the door, but I’m sure they are better here.”

“And you keep all of this on file,” Scott realized looking back to the tracker that he’d implanted in the server.

“For observation purposes like I told you,” Fred looked up from his position on the floor, “I realize that some of it must be shocking to witness, but the volunteers have given us their consent before we begin recording and…”

“They know that you’re keeping all of this, monitoring all that they are doing and…” Scott glanced over at the screen again where Logan was. He could see that the scene had changed, transforming into something in the hallway of the school with Logan reaching out to Scott. He held onto Scott’s arm, but their words were lost as the scene unfolded. Scott noticed that Logan appeared to be pleading—somehow attempting to reason with Scott, but beyond the obvious physical signs of distress, their words were still unknown. It was a memory that Scott hadn’t experienced leading him to believe that it was simply a fantasy as Fred slowly began to rise up off of the floor.

“You missed a spot,” Scott gulped down haphazardly pointing to the floor again in the hopes of keeping Fred from witnessing Scott’s new discovery.

“Where?” Fred asked.

“Right there,” Scott pointed again suddenly worried about what was taking place before him. Concern for Logan had prompted him to enter the club, but now in knowing that Logan was one of the volunteers, Scott realized that perhaps he and Logan were both in over their head. Looking to the security camera that he had shorted out earlier, Scott found himself making another hard decision. He looked over his shoulder at the servers thinking about what Maria had been asking out of him. It would’ve been so easy to help her—to simply chalk things up as a job well done, but in knowing what he’d witnessed with Logan as a test subject revealing secrets of the school that Charles had hoped to keep hidden along with Logan’s fantasies of Scott, Scott realized that this was one mission he would have to fail. Drawing in a breath, he focused his energies on the server, silently hoping that Fred would be distracted long enough for him to do what was needed. With a small movement, Scott adjusted his glasses sending a sharp, solid beam across the room, through the holes in the gate and directly into the drive he’d inserted in the server. It exploded upon impact causing Fred to stir at his feet.

 _“Fuck,”_ Scott silently mouthed to himself working his blast directly into the server as well hoping to put an end to the data collection for the time being. Much to his delight, the server began to pop and spark, causing an unnatural hissing sound before something on the inside started to make a ticking sound.

“What the…?” Fred looked up to discover the now ticking server. Panic carried over him, causing him to spring to his feet rushing to stop the damage when it seemed that the server was starting to smoke from within, “Damn it!”

“What’s going on?” Scott questioned feigning innocence when he looked to the monitor with Logan on it again. He weighed out his thoughts wondering if he could find his way to Logan, but instead he settled in on a small victory as he made quick work to use his blast again on the monitor cables in Fred’s moment of distraction to short circuit the monitors. A moment later there was a flashing light in the room and an alarm indicating that the server shorting out had created a situation that warranted an emergency response. With the flashing light an alarm sounded and soon two armed guards rushed into the room spotting Fred over by the smoking server.

“What’s going on in here?” one of the guards commanded as Scott stepped out of the way, simply taking the opportunity to make his way out of the room undetected while Maria dealt with Markus. He hoped that his actions didn’t put her into any danger as he maneuvered his way down the hallway, heading towards the pathway he’d taken earlier with Coral. It seemed that their undercover operation was taking a turn for the worst, leading them further from a smooth getaway as more guards flooded into the hallway armed with various weapons.

“Shit,” Scott mouthed to himself knowing that he’d for the first time in his life single-handedly blown an undercover operation with minimal effort. Now caged in the metallic hallways and seeking a way out, he contemplated his options when one of the guards approached him.

“Don’t move!” the burly looking man snarled aiming his weapon at Scott.

“Trust me, you don’t want to do this,” Scott replied raising his hands in the air as he found himself formulating a plan in his mind. He looked to the security camera in the corner of the hallway, wondering what Markus would be witnessing when an explosive sound erupted from the far end of the hallway. Looking over his shoulder, Scott realized one of the doors to the testing rooms exploded and a moment later Logan emerged from the room with claws extended and a grimace on his face. As if moving on instinct alone, Logan huffed and snarled glaring at the guard in front of Scott. There was something about the expression on Logan’s face that caused the guard to panic when Logan reached up to peel the hospital gown away from his body. Instead he stood naked and feral before the guard with claws out and ready for a fight.

“What the hell?” the guard before Scott questioned in a moment of panic.

“Shoot him!” another guard shouted prompting the man in front of Scott to raise his weapon and aim it at Logan.

“No,” Scott shouted realizing that Logan was still reeling from the effects of Euphoria. With blood pouring down his hands, covering his claws with the thick, metallic liquid, he realized that there was a possibility that Logan’s healing power was muted, which meant a gunshot would only serve to wound him. With fear surging through his body, Scott removed his glasses and blasted the guard sending him with a slamming thud into the wall opposite of where he stood. The guard went down with a cracking sound, whimpering before falling to unconsciousness.

“Get him!” Scott heard the second guard snarl redirecting his attention to Scott when the sound of Logan charging through the hallway prompted Scott to refocus. Armed with concern in his mind, Scott began to blast at the guards doing his best do take them down while Logan attacked one of the men closer to the end of the hallway leading out of the maze of rooms.

“Logan,” Scott called out to Logan watching as Logan seemingly prepared to take the man’s head off before him. Worriedly Scott intervened blasting the guard, one after the other until finally he stood at Logan’s side hoping to get through to him.

“Logan?” Scott questioned reaching out to touch the side of Logan’s face. When Logan seemed unresponsive, caught up in a feral rage, Scott found desperation taking over. Reaching out he curled his fingers into a fist and punched Logan square across the jaw causing him to snarl. Logan’s head arched back, and he roared preparing to strike when his eyes settled in on Scott.

“Slim?” Logan questioned shaking his head in a moment of clarity. He blinked his eyes a few times, with mouth opening struggling to form words as Scott held his hands up in the air to show that Scott wasn’t going to hurt him.

“We have to get out of here Logan,” Scott tried to reason with him, “If you know how to get us out of here, then you need to tell me now so that we can…”

“Slim,” Logan repeated as his eyes were glazed over. He was caught up in that moment between feral and man, too wound up on the Euphoria to come to terms with what was happening. His lips parted, mouth gasping for air as if he was going to break into a series of dry heaves. However, he seemed to shake it off and recover as Scott attempted to reach out to him. Tentatively he placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder, hoping to coax him back to reality when another explosive sound erupted from around the hallway.

“Damn it,” Scott cursed turning around and preparing to face whatever threat was upon them. It was clear whatever was coming was more powerful than a couple of guards when the loud booming sound vibrated over the metallic walls. Something horrible was around the corner—something he feared he wasn’t quite ready for, but before he could face it head on, Scott felt Logan’s arms sweep around his slim waist drawing him up off the ground with lightning quick reflexes. Before he could question it, Logan tossed Scott over his shoulder, sprinting off into the direction he’d emerged from initially, headed towards the dead-end metallic wall of the hallway away from the sound of the threat.

“Logan there’s no door down this hallway. There’s no…” Scott spoke up in a panic preparing to say something more, when he twisted in Logan’s arms. Adjusting his position, he pulled at his glasses focusing on the metal wall before him hoping like hell that he didn’t cause a disaster far worse than the one they’d entered. With a silent prayer he blasted the wall watching the metal slice open to reveal another hallway behind the thick material. It seemed that it provided an out for them as Logan pushed through the opening taking Scott with him into the unknown.


	5. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Logan deal with the aftermath of their escape and explore the complexity of their relationship along the way.

**Consequences:** _results or effects of an action or condition._

Scott’s heart was pounding wildly in his chest as his grip on the steering wheel intensified. Although he’d turned the heat on in his car, there was a chill in the air that he couldn’t quite escape. With an uneasy breath, he pulled onto the dark road, keeping his eyes divided between the road and the rearview mirror as he made his escape from the nightmare he’d unwittingly walked into. He was miles away from the club, far from the destruction he’d left in his path, but the memory was lingering now more than ever knowing full well how much worse it could’ve been if he’d hesitated a moment longer than he had in his escape. His pulse was racing, his mind caught up in all the ways that things could’ve gone, but instead he was simply focused on ensuring that the path behind him was clear without anyone tailing him.

 _“Getting to safety is what matters most_ ,” a voice inside of his head reminded him. Armed with that thought, he looked to his car passenger seat to discover Logan asleep beside him. He was covered in a small throw blanket that Scott had kept tucked away for a rainy day in the backseat, yet Scott could see that the blood from Logan’s hands soaking through the plaid woolen material after his claws had been out earlier. They had long since retracted into his body, but the warm, wet blood remained, indicating that he hadn’t healed as quickly as he did on most occasions. The thought left Scott unsettled as he pondered what else was happening to the man sleeping beside him. Even in his slumber, Logan was restless, but his breathing seemed to even out as Scott found himself grateful that somehow during Logan’s mild feral episode that they were able to escape from Markus’s compound reasonably unscathed. With an uneasy exhale, Scott thought back to the way that Logan had carried Scott through the secret fortress attached to the club, twisting and turning through the maze of hallways until they’d discovered a hidden exit that had somehow led them back to the parking garage and Scott’s car. Once they were in the garage, Scott had managed to convince Logan to get into his car—to trust Scott long enough to get them to safety, but now as Scott pulled onto the highway in his retreat nothing felt safe or secure. Looking to Logan again, he couldn’t help, but wonder what the long-term effects of his volunteering had brought upon him. Fearing the worst, Scott kept one hand on the wheel and with the other he reached into his pocket to pull out the small vial of Euphoria that Markus had given him in his office. With a frown, he could still see the iridescence of the liquid in the vial, watching as the substance swished against the glass until Scott pushed it back into his pocket again.

“Damn it, Logan. What were you thinking?” Scott cursed looking over at his sleeping companion once again. Thinking about what secret he’d uncovered, Scott realized that in his observations over the last couple of weeks, this was the last thing that he’d anticipated discovering about Logan’s mysterious retreat.

Now with the ruins of Markus’s compound behind them and an undoubtedly pissed off Maria Hill ready to murder Scott for his actions, it dawned upon Scott that the night had gone from bad to worse. Glancing over at his companion once again, Scott fought to keep his frustrations from mounting as he couldn’t help but observe Logan’s bare chest before him. Despite the chill in the car, Logan was sweating with damp, matted chest hair clinging to his skin in the aftermath of their escape. The muscled contours of his chest seemed to flex and contract in his slumber indicating that Logan was still caught up in a world of dreams. Taking in a breath, Scott struggled to keep focused—to forget about what he’d witnessed back in the observation room with Logan onscreen letting loose of the inhibitions that had guided him and Scott in their exchanges with one another. Now knowing that Logan had harbored the same kind of thoughts that Scott had been drowning in lately, it made things complicated. Not that they weren’t before, but in knowing that Scott hadn’t imagined their tension, well, it put a new spin on things on what was really happening between them.

“Focus,” Scott instructed forcing the invasive thoughts out of his mind when he hit a button on his steering wheel that brought up Hank’s number. Pushing it again the phone dialed bringing the sound of ringing over the speaker system until Hank’s groggy voice answered on the other end of the line sounding as if he’d been caught up in a good night’s sleep, “Hank, you awake?”

“No,” Hank grumbled when there was a shuffling sound on the other end of the line, “and you shouldn’t be either Scott. If you’re in your office again…”

“I’m not in my office,” Scott assured him with an uneasy breath wondering what his friend would say about his latest excursion. Still knowing he needed assistance after what had taken place, he focused on the task at hand, “I’m on my way back to the school.”

“Back to the school?” Hank repeated when Scott’s words registered with him, “Scott, what time is it? Where are you?”

“I’ll tell you more when we get home, but right now I need you to get down to prep one of the medical bays and find a healer just in case we need to…” Scott instructed as his eyes found their way to Logan once again.

“A healer?” Hank repeated with worry evident in his tone, “Scott, what have you gotten yourself into? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine. I just need to you to do this for me and…”

“Don’t lie to me Scott. What’s going on?” Hank’s voice demanded an answer that Scott wasn’t quite sure how to provide him now that he was fleeing from the scene where he and Logan had worked to destroy Markus’s compound in their escape.

“I’ll explain when I get home, but right now I just need you to do what I’ve asked of you,” Scott’s words were firm coming out more as an order than a request, “You need to keep this between us and the healer…at least for now.”

“Scott, if you’re in any kind of trouble,” Hank’s voice shifted with concern.

“I’m not going to lie this is bad,” Scott paused knowing only too well that the situation would undoubtedly go from bad to worse before everything was said and done, “I’m also going to need you to get me in touch with one of your S.H.I.E.L.D. contacts to check on the status of Agent Hill.”

“Agent Hill?” Hank replied as his voice slowly returned to normal, “Scott, what kind of trouble did you get yourself into tonight? I just assumed that you went to bed for a change and…”

“I couldn’t sleep, so I went out looking for Logan,” Scott hesitated when he heard the sound of Logan shifting on the seat beside him, “Look it’s a long story, but…”

“Scott, how many times have I told you that you need to let this go? You can’t keep obsessing over what Logan is doing when…” Hank’s voice carried heavy disapproval.

“I found him Hank. I was right about something being off with him lately,” Scott interrupted gripping the wheel tighter than before as he’d switched into the center lane of the highway, “I can’t get into details right now, but we’re probably about an hour from home. I need you to do what I asked and let me explain later.”

“Scott, you know that I can’t just…”

“Please,” Scott softened his tone as the weight of all that he’d left behind him at the club carried over him, “as my friend I’m asking you to do this for me. I need you to trust that I know what I’m doing and…”

“Somehow I don’t believe that.”

“Whether you believe me or not, you know that what I’m asking of you is something I need,” Scott reminded him sharply, “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important and…”

“Fine,” Hank grudgingly complied to Scott’s request, “I’ll do what you want for now, but don’t think that you are going to get away with keeping me in the dark about any of this.”

“I’ll tell you everything,” Scott promised.

“Somehow I find that hard to believe,” Hank’s voice was doubtful, “Given the way that you’ve been carrying yourself lately, I just don’t think that you’re approaching the situation the right way. With your emotions running wild…”

“It isn’t my emotions guiding this investigation I made,” Scott feigned offense. He hesitated glancing over at Logan before thinking about what he would undoubtedly have to answer for before the night was over, “A vital member of our team needed help and…”

“You went off half-cocked on a mission that you told no one about,” Hank replied with heavy disapproval in his tone, “You said you weren’t going to do anything rash and now you’re telling me that you need a healer and…”

“Logan was in trouble,” Scott answered emphatically, “What was I supposed to let him do? Drown in the situation he was getting himself into?”

“What about the ways in which you are drowning in all of this Scott?” Hank challenged, “Does he have any idea that you’ve been…”

“…worried about him,” Scott finished before Hank could out him to the sleeping man beside him, “Look the point is that my instincts were dead on. Logan’s in trouble and we need to help him.”

“Is he with you now?” Hank inquired.

“We’re on our way back and when we get there…”

“Scott…”

“I’ll tell you everything,” Scott exchanging a few more words with Hank before ending the call. Looking over at Logan again, Scott contemplated what he’d seen in the observation room before he spoke up under his breath, “well, almost everything.”

With a sigh Scott focused on the road ahead of him, preparing to make his journey back to the school now that it seemed he’d gone and made his situation worse than it had before he’d chased after Logan for the night. Instead of a simple night of building intel in discovering Logan’s secret hideaway from the school, he’d managed to destroy Maria’s mission, wreck the fortress that ran Markus’s empire and undoubtedly put himself on a most wanted list for the government and criminals alike after he’d encountered the unsavory man at the door to the club.

“It couldn’t get any worse I suppose,” Scott mouthed to himself as he drove along the highway noting that there weren’t many cars at this hour. It would almost be peaceful, he thought to himself, if he hadn’t left a wake of disaster in his retreat from the club. Caught up in his thoughts, Scott silently cursed himself for leaving Maria behind—wondering if somehow his actions had put her in danger now that Markus undoubtedly realized that Scott was behind the carnage at his club. He’d agreed to be her partner, but in a moment of instinct, he’d left her in the trenches caught up in a dark world that he still didn’t understand. Yes, she was tough—stronger than most partners he had in the past, but if she was in danger in any way because of his actions…

“I’ll go back for her once you’re safe,” Scott decided looking to Logan once again. He’d never left a man behind like that before and if he needed to go back, then so be it. He wouldn’t fail Maria completely…at least not any more than he already had. He noticed another car up ahead on the darkened highway. For a moment panic set in leaving him to wonder if he’d been followed, but it soon sped off one of the exit ramps leaving Scott alone with Logan in his car, returning home with new concerns weighing upon him. Caught up in his thoughts, the ringing of the phone over the speaker of Scott’s car was like nails on a chalkboard. He hit the button to answer wondering if Hank could shed any more light on Maria’s situation for him.

“What do you have for me?” Scott questioned gripping his wheel and accelerating as the speed limit increased.

“A noose the next time I see you,” Maria’s voice shouted over the speaker, causing the walls from within the car to vibrate in her anger, “Please tell me that you didn’t single-handedly destroy a mission that I’ve been working on for a year and a half all because your boyfriend was a test subject.”

“My boyfriend,” Scott repeated looking over at Logan again. He was still asleep, unbothered by Maria’s screaming when Scott’s knuckles whitened at the grip he had on his steering wheel, “Look Maria it isn’t like that. I was…”

“Trying to take my work and make a mockery of it,” she finished with a low, hissing sound behind her tone, “Do you have any idea what this mission was? No, of course you don’t because you couldn’t just keep your damn mouth shut and follow my orders. You had to do it your way and…”

“I’m sorry,” Scott apologized sincerely knowing full well that he’d been anything, but a cooperative partner when his worries got the best of him, “I know that you said and believe me I tried. I tried to play it cool, but the things I saw…”

“What did you see?” she questioned pausing in her lecture to hear his observations, “What was going on in the labs? Did you see the Euphoria production taking place in there?”

“It wasn’t about the Euphoria,” Scott answered readily, “At least not entirely. They were using it, but it wasn’t about the production. It was about…”

“Scott, I specifically gave you one task tonight,” she grumbled over the other end of the line, “You had one thing to do and…”

“We had the situation all wrong. He wasn’t working on a Euphoria lab as far as I could tell,” Scott revealed thinking about what he’d walked into, “He’d talked about his associates and he was using it to run things, but there weren’t any kind of production labs—at least not on the tour he’d given me. Instead…”

“What?” she questioned abrasively.

“He was…” Scott stopped himself after he thought about the things that Fred had told him about Maria’s financial contributions to the project. Hesitating, Scott realized that this wasn’t the moment to give her every detail he’d uncovered. Instead he opted to shift gears on the conversation, “It was clear that what Markus was doing in there wasn’t on the up and up and…”

“At least tell me that you were able to plant the device before you decided to tear the place apart,” she continued to yell at him, coming increasingly unhinged as Scott made his way towards home.

“Yeah, um about that…” Scott cleared his throat when an uncomfortable silence carried over the interior of his car, “You’re safe, yes?”

“I wouldn’t be calling you if I wasn’t,” she replied curtly.

“Right,” he noted, “so you were able to get out without any problems, yes?”

“Markus ran off when he discovered the mess you’d made of his facility,” Maria answered with obvious displeasure in her tone. She’d lowered her voice, but there was no denying the rage that was present within her, “He and I were just about to work over the last set of amendments to our negotiation proposal when the alarms went off and…”

“You were able to escape though without any significant damage, yes?” Scott asked again thinking about what she must be going through on the other end of the line.

“I had a retrieval team ready to get us out of there once we’d planted the tracker,” Maria answered in a stiff, uneasy voice, “which is something that I’m hoping you can tell me that you did successfully.”

“Maria, look I tried but…”

“But what?” Maria’s voice spiked with agitation once again, “Scott, I gave you one job in all of this. Markus has been refusing me access from day one. He’s never followed through on the tour of the facility until tonight. He’s been a stickler about keeping us out there, but when he took an interest in you…”

“Yeah, did he ever,” Scott groaned outwardly as he thought about the ways Markus had hit on him, “It might have been nice if you would’ve given me a head’s up on his ability to become someone else. You never mentioned that we were dealing with someone who had that kind of power and…”

“We didn’t have much time to get into all the details,” she reminded him sharply.

“Yeah, well it still would’ve been beneficial to this assignment if you’d given me a head’s up on him being Coral as well.”

“Was he?” Maria seemed surprised his words, “Is that what she told you when she took you on the tour? That she was him as well?”

“Like you didn’t know,” Scott grumbled in response, “I would imagine that would’ve been something you should’ve clued me in on early into our partnership considering that…”

“You were on a need to know basis,” she cut him off abruptly, “Although Coral is a new persona all things considered.”

“One that is still entirely Markus, but I imagine that was the point of sending me off with him,” Scott frowned thinking about all he’d endured before everything blew up in his face, “When you said I needed to sit back and look pretty…”

“I wanted you to be smart about things, which is why I sent you out there with the tracker and…” she reminded him sharply.

“You wanted me to just go in there, flirt with Markus to butter him up a bit and give you full access to all that unfiltered information,” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension in thinking about all he’d observed, “I can see now why S.H.I.E.L.D. was so desperate to get their hands on the information given how sensitive it was under the circumstances and…”

“Did you get the tracker in or not Scott?” she cut him off abruptly.

“I did,” Scott responded readily, “but then I didn’t.”

“What do you mean you didn’t?” her voice picked up to a low roar, “I specifically encouraged you to…”

“Be used as bait with Markus,” Scott replied with a shake of his head, “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you were throwing me out there for him to make a move. You saw that he was interested from the moment we walked into the club and…”

“Obviously I should’ve done it myself given the level of severity at which you failed tonight. Do you have any idea how much this is going to set me back in my mission Scott? If you weren’t able to gain that intel for us…”

“What do you need it for?”

“That’s classified information,” Maria replied.

“Classified or not there are some things that the world just shouldn’t have available to them—some information that is private,” Scott replied thinking about the information that had been presented to him in his short period of discovery.

“That isn’t your decision to make.”

“It isn’t yours either,” Scott argued further, “Your agency has no right to what is going on there and…”

“Is this about the privacy of the volunteers or about your own personal interest?” she countered when it was clear that she knew more than she’d been saying upon their initial time working together, “This isn’t about the concerns you have about what was there in terms of information with the trials, but rather about Logan’s participation in all of this, isn’t it?”

“Logan has nothing to do with…” Scott stopped himself when he thought about her words, “You knew right along that he was a test subject.”

“We had a suspicion that he was volunteering given our latest series of intel, but it wasn’t until tonight when you both left a path of destruction that I realized that he was in deep over his head on this one.” Maria answered offering up a kernel of truth in her declaration.

“You have no idea what Euphoria is doing to any of them and to just sit back and help fund the trials under the guise of getting closer to Markus as a potential investor,” Scott’s words came out angrier than he’d intended, “Do you have any idea what any of this could do to any of them? What Markus was planning to do with all that information he was gathering in his time running the trials?”

“That was the point of the tracker Scott,” she quipped in response, “To find out just what he is doing with that information and where he’s taking it. We were going to look inside of his servers to get to the heart of his operation so that we could shut it down from the inside out.”

“You’re going to have to find it another way,” Scott decided with a scowl as he passed by a mile marker, “It isn’t my fault that you weren’t on the up and up with me.”

“You weren’t exactly an open book when I found you there tonight Scott,” Maria reminded him with a huff, “Against my better judgment I brought you in to my operation and…”

“You set me up to fail miserably,” Scott argued with her, “If you would’ve clued me in on what was really happening…”

“I told you what I needed to in order to get you…”

“Complacent?” Scott interrupted with a huff wondering if her plan had been to play him all along from the moment she’d spotted him outside of the club, “Tell me. Were you planning to keep me in the dark while I helped you steal secrets that were never meant to be shared in the first place? What Markus is doing is wrong and we both know it. What his facility is doing to those people and their secrets…”

“It’s not up to you to decide what happens with that information. Scott, whatever you did with that tracker…”

“I destroyed it,” Scott answered honestly, “along with his server.”

“What the fuck?” she cursed no longer censoring herself in her rage, “What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how much you set us back on this mission tonight? Do you know how man many hours I’ve put into this—how many people that have lost their lives for us to get this close only for you to screw it up on the final play like you have?”

“That wasn’t my intention.”

“Regardless of what your intention was, you blew it tonight Summers,” she snapped enraged by his admission, “You undoubtedly cost us more hours and a great many more lives now that you let things get personal. Your inability to do as you asked put us all in danger and…”

“Maria,” he softened his tone thinking about the anger that resonated in her tone, “I didn’t think that…”

“No, you didn’t think and now the world is going to pay for it,” Maria snapped back at him before Scott heard her slamming the phone down on the other end of the line. He shuddered when the call concluded knowing full well that he’d now just made an enemy out of Maria Hill and S.H.I.E.L.D. now that he’d clearly destroyed their investigation in his quest to keep some of Charles and Logan’s secrets safe.

“That was a dumb move on your part,” Logan’s groggy voice caused Scott to practically leap out of his seat when he looked over to where Logan was stirring beside him. His head was tipped back into the head rest of the seat, his lips parted as he expelled a sharp, uneasy breath, “She sounds pissed.”

“Yeah, well she’s not the only one,” Scott grumbled returning his focus to the road ahead of him once again, “You have no idea what kind of shit I’ve been through tonight.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have stalked me,” Logan coughed, tilting his head to the side and attempting to take in a deep breath, “Might’ve made your life a lot easier if you didn’t watch me like a hawk the last few weeks.”

“I wasn’t stalking you,” Scott lied feeling his face grow flustered at the realization that Logan had discovered his true intentions for the night, “I was…”

“Following me,” Logan grumbled bringing one hand out from beneath the blanket and over his abdomen, “Hell, I tried to lose you a few times, but you didn’t quite give up, did you? I forgot how good you were with a tail when properly motivated.”

“I was…” Scott fought to find the lie upon his lips, but when nothing came to mind, he relented with a sigh, “concerned about you.”

“Why?” Logan questioned simply as if it was the easiest question in the world, but deep-down Scott realized the answer was far too complicated to be honest.

“You haven’t been yourself lately,” Scott replied softening his tone.

“So?”

“So, I thought that maybe you were getting in over your head with something,” Scott countered glancing over at Logan once again. When he noticed that Logan’s forehead was pressed up against the passenger side window, he couldn’t help, but feel his frustrations mounting, “and I was right. What the hell were you thinking?”

“That I wish you would just shut the hell up,” Logan snarled keeping his eyes closed as the cool glass against his skin seemingly soothed him, “You had no right to follow me tonight Slim.”

“You shouldn’t be risking your life like that in volunteering for that trial,” Scott argued further unable to quell the anger that was burning up inside of him over Logan’s actions, “Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you could’ve gotten into with…?”

“What life?” Logan questioned forcing himself to sit upright once again. He tilted his head to the side looking over at Scott with something Scott couldn’t quite read behind his eyes, “What kind of life do I have?”

“One worth holding on to,” Scott quipped shifting lanes on the highway once again.

“Says who?”

“What do you mean says who?” Scott frowned glancing at Logan once again, “Logan, do you have any idea what kind of predicament you put us all in by subjecting yourself to that kind of testing? What were you thinking? You of all people should know what opening yourself up to that kind of situation can do to the rest of us—the ways that you could’ve compromised the school when…”

“So, you’re worried about the school?” Logan questioned when the ringing of Scott’s phone broke through the tension in the car between them. Looking to the display Scott realized that it was yet again an unknown number indicating that his nightmare had just begun. When he refused to answer, Logan spoke up again in a calmer voice, “You know that’s probably Hill, right? She’s probably realized she’s not finished with tearing you a new one.”

“I’m not interested in hearing it right now,” Scott dismissed the call, guiding the music on the radio to fill the tense quarters of the front seat of his car. With his eyes on the road, he fell to silence once again, refusing to engage Logan any further when he thought about all that had happened over the last few weeks.

“Slim…” Logan finally broke the silence after they’d come upon an interchange in the highway, “Look…”

“I just…” Scott hesitated not quite sure what to say when he could sense Logan’s discomfort in the moment, “I don’t understand why…”

“It’s not for you to understand,” Logan answered somberly, “It’s my life and…”

“You put us all in danger when you signed on for that trial,” Scott cut him off abruptly, “The secrets you undoubtedly exposed to those people…”

“I wasn’t trying to,” Logan began to defend himself, but thought twice of it. Somberly he lowered his head and let out a low, guttural moan of acknowledgement, “I fucked up, okay?”

“No, it’s not even remotely close to okay,” Scott snapped in recoil immediately hating himself for the words when Logan seemed wounded by them. Scott attempted to find a way to smooth the waters between them, finding light at the end of the tunnel, but when he found himself at a loss, he simply sighed, “None of this is okay.”

“Right…” Logan grumbled falling into an uncomfortable silence.

“Logan,” Scott softened his tone, preparing to say something more when he realized Logan’s head was pressed up against the glass of the window once again. With an uneasy voice, Scott forced his eyes on the road ahead of him. Thoughts consumed him, leading him to more questions than answers, “Was all of this because of…?”

“What?” Logan asked with a small groan. He scratched at the top of his head, gritting his teeth as it was clear he was still in pain over what he’d subject himself to.

“Boston,” Scott’s knuckles grew whiter upon the tight grip on his steering wheel, “Did you do all of this because of what happened in Boston?”

“Scott…” Logan’s voice trailed off as the moon overhead illuminated the interior of Scott’s car, drawing Scott’s attention to the tired lines of Logan’s face.

“Because if it is…” Scott cleared his throat and found his stomach tied in knots, “If what I said back then…what I did on that mission prompted you to…”

“It’s not about Boston,” Logan cut him off abruptly, opting to give Scott an out. However, Scott found that Logan’s words were anything, but soothing in the moment.

“You say that, but…” Scott cleared his throat again wondering what the hell he was doing as he briefly looked to the stars above them. He exhaled sharply before releasing the wheel with his right hand. With shaky fingers he reached out across the seat, pushing past the gear control to place his trembling hand over Logan’s bare thigh revealed to him from underneath the blanket, “Logan, we both know that…”

“Scott,” Logan sat upright looking down at Scott’s grip over his knee. Despite the curl of Scott’s fingers over Logan’s bare skin, his fingers were barely skimming the surface in his uncertainty, unclear of the right action to take in his bold, brazen movement, but just as he was prepared to pull his hand back, he felt the weight of Logan’s hand upon his keeping Scott’s hand positioned over Logan’s knee, “it’s not about Boston.”

“Oh,” Scott felt the warmth of Logan’s hand over his, keeping Scott’s fingers close as Logan’s index finger pressed in the gap between Scott’s index and middle finger, gently massaging the soft skin in spite of the awkwardness of the situation between them, “because if Boston played a hand in this in any way what so ever…”

“The truth is…I don’t…I don’t even remember Boston,” Logan divulged with a painful breath, lowering his head in his admission.

“What do you mean you don’t remember Boston?” Scott questioned shaken by Logan’s words. He attempted to pull his hand away from Logan’s knee as embarrassment flooded over him, but Logan’s grip on him intensified forcing Scott’s fingers over his skin again.

“Look Slim…” Logan seemed uneasy in his words, more distant that Scott had anticipated when Logan interlaced their fingers simply allowing both to hold onto one another in a chaste touch.

“Logan?”

“I wish I could remember whatever it is that you think I should recall from Boston. I’m sure it was one hell of a story, but I’m…” Logan hesitated, lifting his head up to look over at Scott once again. He opened his mouth to speak up, to say something to further alleviate Scott’s concerns, but when the tension in the air seemed to expand, growing thicker by the moment, he turned away abruptly releasing his hold on Scott’s hand, “I’m different.”

“Different how?” Scott questioned feeling Logan pull away from him.

“It doesn’t matter,” Logan answered with a small shrug.

Although they were seated beside one another in the cramped quarters of Scott’s sportscar, it felt like miles between them now that Logan had closed himself off yet again like he had back at the school outside of Charles’ office when it seemed that everything had changed between them. Now it felt like they were worlds apart when Scott positioned his hand on the wheel again almost as if their touch hadn’t happened. After that Scott decided to forego conversation and they drove in silence about ten more miles until finally Logan spoke up in a curious tone.

“I know that I probably shouldn’t ask, but what happened in Boston?” Logan couldn’t help but inquire as Scott found himself caught up in a moment of uneasiness.

“Nothing important,” Scott lied biting down on his bottom lip, struggling to figure out what angle Logan was working with him. Thinking about what he’d witnessed on the monitor, Scott began to attempt to decipher Logan’s reasoning for participating in the trials. Had he been trying to fantasize about Scott or was he simply trying to force himself to forget something that wasn’t meant to be happening in the first place? Had Logan regretted the things that they’d said? The way that they’d damn near fallen into temptation locked away from the rest of the world or worse, had Logan regretted even bothering to express an interest in someone like Scott in the first place?

“You think it is,” Logan prompted him further, “so maybe it was…”

“If you can’t remember,” Scott paused wondering if the Euphoria had screwed with Logan’s mind in more ways than he’d realized, “then it wasn’t.”

“You wouldn’t have brought it up if it wasn’t,” Logan countered.

“Trust me it wasn’t,” Scott dismissed Logan’s words, “It was…”

“What?”

“Just a mission,” Scott replied wondering if Logan was simply offering him an out to the messed-up situation that lingered between them, “That’s all.”

“I doubt that,” Logan frowned as Scott feared that Logan would push the issue further, but when he fell into silence again, Scott found himself grateful for the time to reflect on his actions over the last few weeks. It seemed that he was drowning, pulling himself down deeper into the hell that surrounded his life and tonight was the cherry on top of the pile of shit that had been dropped upon him. He was certain he hadn’t heard the end of it—was convinced that it would get far worse now that he’d destroyed Maria’s case.

“So, Hill…” Logan broke through Scott’s thoughts, “she seems pissed.”

“Rightfully so,” Scott shrugged knowing only too well he would have hell to pay in the near future, “I failed a mission.”

“There’s always a first I suppose,” Logan half teased as Scott found his frustrations mounting.

“It wouldn’t have come to that if you weren’t a part of those trials,” Scott snapped unable to contain his agitation, “If you would’ve just found a way to talk to someone instead of…”

“What do you know about what I’ve done?” Logan asked gruffly, “You haven’t bothered to ask or…”

“What was I supposed to say?” Scott couldn’t help, but question with a pained expression on his face, “You wouldn’t talk to me.”

“You weren’t talking to me either,” Logan reminded him with a scowl, “Never once did you try to say anything after that morning when…”

“I was giving you space,” Scott interrupted issuing a scowl in Logan’s direction, “You were so angry with me that night before you were outside of the office and…”

“Rightfully so given your attitude,” Logan quipped with a shake of his head.

“Screw you Logan,” Scott spat back at him, “Do you have any idea what I went through tonight to find out where you were?”

“No one asked you to do it,” Logan coughed back at him, “You should’ve just left well enough alone.”

“While you exposed all of the secrets of the school to a monster set on trying to rule the world with his god-complex,” Scott laughed with heavy sarcasm in his tone, “You have no idea what kind of man you invited into your life—into all of our lives by volunteering for that trial.”

“You were the one making nice with him from the sound of things,” Logan retorted with a shake of his head, “According to Agent Hill, it sounded like the two of you were getting rather close tonight.”

“I was doing what was asked of me,” Scott frowned.

“Until the moment when it truly counted, right?” Logan challenged.

Saying nothing Scott focused on the road ahead of him refusing to answer Logan when it was clear that the night had been nothing short of a disaster. With his mind on all the fuck ups he’d encountered, he found himself angrier with each passing second over how much of a failure the night’s mission had proved to be. Instead of getting insight on Logan, all he’d discovered was that Logan was putting them all at risk—going above and beyond to make them all vulnerable just so that he could…

 _Fantasize about you,_ a voice in the back of Scott’s mind brought back that bristling realization when he snuck another glance over at the tired, muscular man beside him. Even in the moonlight it was clear through Logan’s posture that he was exhausted—another clear sign of the Euphoria working its way over his powers and depleting them. That thought caused Scott to shudder when the memory of Logan on the screen over him, forcing Scott to submit to desire resonated in Scott’s mind.

“We both screwed up,” Scott finally conceded as he moved over to the far-right lane, slowing his car down as they moved down the highway closer towards the school, “I guess I let emotion come into play when presented with the information.”

“You?” Logan couldn’t help, but laugh, “Let emotion overtake your actions? No, I don’t buy it. That’s not you.”

“Neither is this,” Scott sighed looking to Logan’s knee again remembering what it was like to touch it a short while earlier, “It’s not you.”

“Perhaps. I don’t know what me is anymore,” Logan admitted somberly.

“What’s going on?” Scott softened his tone. Setting his thoughts aside, he pulled his car onto the exit ramp, decelerating off the strip of road until finally he made his way over to a stop. Knowing it was the last thing he should be doing, he pulled the car into a rest area, preparing to get to the heart of what was going on when he moved into an empty parking spot. When the car came to rest, he shifted gears putting it in park before looking over at Logan again, “What is this really about Logan?”

“I wish I knew,” Logan admitted tiling his chin up to meet Scott’s concerned features. He opened his mouth to speak, attempting to put his thoughts together, but nothing came out. Instead he simply sat in the passenger seat of the car looking helpless and causing Scott’s concerns to mount. He brought his hand up, reaching out for Scott, but stopping and dropping his fingers into his own lap again, “I can’t explain it.”

“Try,” Scott half pleaded reaching out to collect Logan’s hand in his once again. Offering up a supportive squeeze, he pushed his own inhibitions aside long enough to provide Logan with something he hadn’t been able to offer before, “please. Talk to me.”

“Scott…” Logan spoke his name in a shivering exhale. He seemed lost in the moment, caught up in so many silent torturous flashes that Scott realized he couldn’t comprehend. Instead he was left to decipher what was happening, forced to pick up the pieces of Logan’s shattered mind when it was clear that something had changed between them.

“Talk to me,” Scott pleaded in a raw, desperate whisper not quite sure why hearing Logan’s truth had mattered so much.

“I wish I could, but…” Logan looked down to Scott’s hand over his again. Unable to express his thoughts, he simply raised Scott’s hand up to his cheek, coaxing Scott to press his palm against the warmth of Logan’s skin. Closing his eyes, Logan leaned into the touch, allowing the slow touch of Scott’s fingertips against his flesh to spark something inside of him that he hadn’t been able to put to words.

“Logan…” Scott spoke his name again, caught up in a moment of uncertainty underneath the moonlight. He watched as Logan’s face twisted, taking Scott’s palm from his cheek, to Logan’s dry, chapped lips, pressing over the warmth of his skin to reveal the nervous breath that carried over Logan’s lips. With a tilt of his head and the weight of Logan’s eyelashes fluttering to reveal the depths of the pain building behind his eyes, Scott found himself at a loss. He opened his mouth to say something—anything to pull Logan from his misery, but instead he watched in silent awe as Logan’s lips pressed a kiss over the center of Scott’s palm. Damp and tender, his kiss caused sensations to coil over Scott’s skin, centering over his palm and working its way through his body like a bolt of lightning with aftershocks hitting him deep at his core.

Closing his eyes Scott released a shivering exhale, his body trembling when the damp slide of the tip of Logan’s tongue over his palm caused butterflies to dance in his stomach. It was crazy, but with each warm, damp press of the heat of Logan’s lips over his skin, Scott felt his face grow flushed. His mind was reeling with all the things he should do—the things that he should say, but nothing prepared him for the moment when Logan’s fingers curled around Scott’s wrist, guiding Scott’s index finger to his lips. Watching in silent surprise, Scott’s gaze focused on Logan’s lips, on the way that they parted when he pressed a tender, damp kiss over the pad of Scott’s finger.

“Logan…” Scott finally found the courage to speak his name, to say something to sever the connection between them, but when Logan looked to him again, he found himself at a loss.

“Don’t say it,” Logan pleaded with him. Pressing another kiss over the pad of Scott’s index finger, he held Scott’s wrist firmly, “not now.”

“I…” Scott finally nodded relenting to Logan’s demand. Closing his eyes, he lost himself to the moment feeling the warmth of Logan’s touch upon him. His lips carried over Scott’s fingertip, coaxing the pad over Logan’s sensitive bottom lip, sweeping over the place just beyond his lips, into the damp heat of his mouth when Logan’s lips surrounded Scott’s finger. Reopening his eyes, Scott watched in breathless anticipation as Logan pulled Scott’s finger into his mouth, slowly swirling his tongue around it in a skilled, methodical tease that ignited a fire in places Scott dared not speak about. With a low moan, Logan rubbed his thumb over Scott’s wrist, pressing over his pulse point and discovering the truth behind Scott’s accelerated heart rate. There was no denying his reaction to Logan—no hiding the impact Logan’s actions had upon him when Logan was now sliding Scott’s finger in and out of his mouth, gently nibbling and sucking upon it, offering up a tease of something far more forbidden when Logan’s lips parted again. At first Scott anticipated Logan releasing him, simply abandoning the action he’d taken, but instead of pulling away, Logan’s lips pulled Scott’s middle finger into his mouth as well, opting to lick and suction over him in ways that Scott wished like hell he could pretend didn’t make his head dizzy with sensation.

“What are we doing?” Scott questioned leaning in closer to Logan. The gear shift was stuck between them serving as a barrier, but it did nothing to quell the desire plummeting through Scott’s heart. His head was swimming with sensation, his mind caught up in something he knew for damn certain he shouldn’t be feeling as he reached out across the seat to slide his palm underneath the blanket that he’d used to cover Logan earlier.

“Scott,” Logan’s breath was labored as Scott’s fingers fell from his lips. Logan’s eyelids fluttered to a close, bringing Scott’s palm over the side of his face again while Scott’s betraying fingers of his right hand slid up further underneath the blanket, curling in over Logan’s bare thigh. With a low rumble of desire, Logan’s thighs parted further on the seat, his positioning growing more relaxed as he pressed one hand over Scott’s wrist guiding Scott’s touch up over his inner thigh, to feel the effect that Scott had over him in their hidden moment away from the rest of the world.

“We shouldn’t…” Scott panted watching Logan draw Scott’s fingers back to his lips again. He attempted to think straight—to remember logic and reason, but when Logan’s lips surrounded Scott’s index and middle finger once again, Scott found himself reaching for Logan’s arousal, wrapping his fingers around the warmth of his thick, solid length preparing to use his fingers to mimic the motion that Logan’s lips and tongue were doing over Scott’s fingers, tempting him with so much more than Scott had imagined when he’d pulled over to clear his head.

“Slim…” Logan pleaded arching his hips up into Scott’s touch, allowing Scott’s palm to wrap completely around his hardened length, holding him in a firm, solid grip. As Logan’s eyes reopened, Scott skimmed his thumb over the head of Logan’s arousal, feeling the damp tip only serve to bring the weight of reality upon them. For a moment panic overtook him and he contemplated letting go, but when Logan’s grip on his wrist constricted, Scott simply leaned in closer, allowing the slow slide of his fingers over Logan’s length to send Logan to a place far from where they’d traveled with one another in the past.

Wordlessly Scott watched as Logan reveled in his touch, trembling as Scott held him. His body tensed up, tightening with the slow slide of Scott’s fist up and over his flesh, twisting and returning in a soft, circular slide down to the base, touching Logan much like he’d touched himself a few nights earlier. Only instead of his own cries, it was Logan’s pleas of encouragement guiding him on, taking him from rationality to insanity, caught up in the weight of desire and longing, wanting so much more, but keeping his distance when he felt Logan’s fingers skim over the side of his face, coaxing Scott to look up at him once again.

“I want…” Logan leaned in closer, his lips parting with the pant that carried over him.

“I know,” Scott pushed his left hand into Logan’s wild, unruly hair knowing full well that he was going to burn for his actions, but the force of their connection felt so strong—untamed in the moonlight, keeping them from what was expected. With a slow, uneasy breath, Scott released Logan’s hardened ache long enough to slide the blanket away from Logan’s lap, using the momentum to reveal the man beside him, caught up in the height of desire, hot and distended underneath the moonlight. The brush of the blanket over Logan’s skin caused him to shudder and shake, feeling the cool night air upon him when Scott tipped his head up to see the way that Logan was watching him from the passenger seat caught up in awe and anticipation of Scott’s next move.

Remembering Boston, Scott decided to cross the line in giving in. He reached for the clasp on his seatbelt, weighing out his options when Logan’s eyes were glazed with desire. His breath was uneven, his face flushed as Scott repositioned himself in his seat, attempting to work his way around the gear shift. When it proved to be a challenge, Scott sat upright again and motioned to Logan to adjust the seat. When it seemed that the request was lost on Logan, Scott couldn’t help, but frown.

“Slide your seat back,” Scott spoke up his request wondering if Logan was even paying attention to him. However, before he could make a second request, Logan’s fingers fumbled with the controls of the seat, reclining it a bit and pushing the seat further into the backseat. The movement allowed Scott the opportunity to maneuver himself in such a fashion that he was soon positioned over Logan’s thigh, with fingers gripping at Logan’s manhood. He licked his lips, tipping his head up and watching Logan nod in anticipation. Feeling a moment of empowerment, Scott stroked Logan’s length anticipating the hot, wild taste of the man before him when his lips parted. He exhaled sharply preparing to cross a forbidden line between them when he felt Logan’s fingers grip over the back of his head, tangling Scott’s dark hair in between his fingertips.

“Slim…” Logan moaned his name, caught up in the moment of anticipation. His grip on Scott’s hair constricted, his hips arching upward to allow Scott access to his hot, hardened length, but just as Scott’s tongue darted out preparing to take the first taste of Logan beneath him, he felt Logan’s fingers wrenching Scott’s head up and away from Logan’s arousal preventing Scott from taking a long anticipated taste.

“Logan?” Scott questioned as Logan abruptly righted the passenger seat of the car. He reached for the blanket Scott had provided him with, immediately wrapping it around his body. A moment later he reached for the door handle, pushing it open without hesitation.

“I’m going to…” Logan heaved attempting to explain himself when he leaned out over the side of the car breaking into a series of heaves like the ones that Scott had witnessed outside of the school a few nights earlier. Only unlike the long-distance observation, Scott was up front and center watching Logan lose the contents of his stomach, again and again in agonizing torture, broken into shudders as a wave of nausea hit him. Realizing it must’ve been a side effect of the Euphoria on Logan, Scott moved back into his chair, silently condemning himself for letting things get so far out of hand between them. Just thinking about what he’d almost let happen was enough to cause him to curse himself knowing that he would make things far worse than they’d been in Boston.

 _“You idiot,”_ Scott could hear a voice inside of his mind screaming when it was painfully clear that Logan was in no position to think about his relationship with Scott let alone enter into some kind of sexual heat of the moment fling after the hell he’d been through. Scott knew better and this was simply a sign that he’d made a mistake in letting things get too far. Looking down at his wedding ring sparkling underneath the moonlight, Scott sat upright hating himself more in the moment than he thought possible. Shame flooded over his body taking him from desire to disgust at how readily he’d lost sight of what was important not only to him, but to Logan, who was now caught up in the agonizing effects of the Euphoria on his system.

“We should probably get back home,” Scott said more so to himself than Logan. He was still trembling, still caught up in how he’d almost gone too far when the sound of the phone ringing again pulled him from his self-loathing. Looking to the screen before him, he realized that it was again an unknown number as he reluctantly answered prepared to take his punishment for fucking up Maria’s mission beyond all comprehension.

“What?” Scott questioned gruffly attempting to hide from what had been happening between him and Logan moments earlier.

“You didn’t really think that was the end of our negotiations, did you Agent Summers?” Markus’s voice caught Scott off guard when Logan stiffened beside him, “I believe that you have something that belongs to me and I want it back.”

“Markus,” Scott spoke his name, feeling the weight of the words carry over him, causing his blood to grow cold at the thought of the monster he had to contend with now that he’d entered a world that hadn’t been meant for him, “How did you get this number?”

“I told you that the path to being a god opened many doors to someone like me,” Markus’s words came out over the line in a menacing taunt, “Tonight, I underestimated you Agent Summers, but rest assured that won’t be a mistake I’ll be making again.”

“Listen I…” Scott began preparing to say something more to deal with the fallout of his actions in making an enemy in the man who’d played a hand in Logan’s destruction. Sitting up taller, Scott prepared to do what was necessary to turn the tables in his favor, but as soon as he’d opened his mouth, he realized that Markus had abruptly ended the call leaving Scott with a not so veiled threat.

“What just happened?” Logan questioned in between coughs. He twisted in the passenger seat with a worried expression on his face. He looked between Scott and the screen indicating that the call had ended when Scott’s worries mounted.

“I think I just made an enemy of the devil himself,” Scott replied realizing that his nightmare was just beginning.


	6. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott discovers more about Logan and Maria's motivations in their current situation.

  
**Discovery:** _the action or process of discovering or being discovered._

“Do you want to explain to me what we’re doing here?” Maria Hill’s agitated voice questioned as she stood on the cracked pavement outside the doorway to Scott’s run-down motel room looking less than thrilled to see Scott standing before her. Her lips were pinched with tension, her eyes full of fury and venom as Scott realized his nigh1t was only getting continually worse by the moment.

“That all depends,” Scott spoke up cautiously. He gave her a once over realizing that she’d changed her outfit in the short time they’d been separated. Instead of the club wear she’d been wearing at the club, she was in a pair of dark slacks and a black blouse, looking every bit as professional as Scott had remembered her before their club encounter. Now, looking over her shoulder out into the dilapidated parking lot for any sign of trouble, he surveyed the parking lot attempting to read the situation further before opening the door fully to his room, “Did you come alone like I asked you to, or did you bring your entire team here to bust me?”

“Against my better judgement I decided to come alone.”

“Good,” Scott let out a relieved sigh. With a scowl she reached out to press her hand into the center of his chest, offering up a hard, angry shove that sent him a step back into his motel room. With the movement he expected her to punch him in the face, but she still stood firm remaining upon the pavement under the rusted brown awning waiting outside of his room.

“I should’ve bypassed coming here altogether and sent in a S.W.A.T. team for the way you screwed me tonight,” Maria replied glaring up at him. Unable to mask her distain, her lips curved downward further indicating that whatever he said, she was going to be pissed at him throughout the duration of their exchange, “but lucky for you I was too tired to make the calls and get any kind of bureaucracy involved after the cluster fuck we went through. You’re still on my shit list just so you know.”

“I didn’t anticipate anything less,” Scott nodded accordingly.

“Even so,” she sighed tilting her head to glare up at him again, “I’m tired and angry, but as it stands, I’m willing to give you five minutes to explain yourself.”

“Fair enough,” Scott decided opening the door further allowing her access to the room that he and Logan had checked into shortly after Markus had made the mystery call to him. Now standing in the center of the room still wearing the same outfit he’d donned at the club, he found himself on edge preparing to face the lesser of two evils in combating Maria’s wrath head on, “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”

“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do,” Maria warned stomping into the motel room and making it clear in her movements that it wasn’t a social call. With a huff, she looked around at their less than savory surroundings, her nose wrinkling with disgust before she glared at Scott once again, “Let me get this straight. You drive a sportscar, yet this shithole is the best you could do for our meeting?”

“On such short notice,” Scott nodded while closing the door to the room to bring them privacy again, “yeah, it was the best I could do. It’s a cash only establishment.”

“Does it rent by the hour as well?” Maria arched a disgusted brow. When Scott opened his mouth to speak up, she held her hand up in the air to silence his response, “Don’t answer that.”

“Fine,” Scott noted locking the door once she’d moved further into the room, “It was an impulsive decision after Markus called me.”

“You seem to be full of those decisions tonight, aren’t you?” she scoffed with a thick air of sarcasm in her voice.

“I didn’t think it was safe to go back to the school,” Scott clarified with a frown watching as she further scrutinized their surroundings, “I was already heading back, but then it felt like the rules changed somehow.”

“That’s a wise decision,” Maria turned around to face him again, “If Markus has already tracked down your number, then I’m certain he’s well on the way to digging up more information on who you really are. Once he figures out who you are, then it’s inevitably going to wind up creating an even bigger situation.”

“I’m aware of that, which means that we can’t delay in taking care of this head on,” Scott agreed with her knowingly, “He made it explicitly clear that he wasn’t fooling around tonight, and that last warning was painstakingly clear.”

“I don’t know why you thought it would be smart to cross him like you did,” she sighed, bringing one hand up over the side of her face to push her hair away from her eyes, “You had no idea what you were walking into tonight when you were with him…”

“No, I didn’t,” he agreed with her, “which is why Logan and I decided that getting into contact with you to regroup right away so that we could trade intel was…”

“Logan? He’s here?” she repeated with a frown. Her eyes shifted around the room, taking in her surroundings with a new curiosity before she spoke up again, “I’m going to kill him. Where is he?”

“He’s getting cleaned up in the shower,” Scott nodded to the closed bathroom door knowing only too well that the night at this motel hadn’t initially been Scott’s idea.

Despite the threat that Markus had presented, Scott had initially wanted to return to the school—to seek out Hank’s assistance to find out just what the Euphoria was all about. It was in theory the next logical step in solving the mystery that had presented itself. If he would’ve gone to the school, gotten Logan to the healer and delivered the sample to Hank to work through in the lab, he was convinced that they could get on top of the situation. However, Logan had persisted in his position against Scott’s suggestion, reluctant to go back home citing that they would be putting the students in danger should they enter the school again with Markus after them. Giving some weight to Logan’s words, Scott had relented to Logan’s suggestions simply pulling them into the cheapest motel they could find hoping it would provide a safe cover until they could work out a plan with one another. So far, the only part of the plan that seemed to make sense was reaching out to Maria, although Scott still wasn’t convinced it was a good idea given the hostility that she was undoubtedly carrying for him.

“I should throw the both of you in handcuffs right now and haul you in for how much you managed to fuck up this investigation tonight. To think of the disaster that you both made of that facility—how you tore it to pieces with minimal effort,” Maria paced around the room. She threw her hands up in the air and scoffed before placing her hands on her hips to glare at Scott, “You’d better give me something good Summers or else I still might take you in…”

“Like I said before Markus called me tonight on the ride home,” Scott explained in as calm of a tone as he could muster up.

“Yeah, you already explained that part to me, which is why I agreed to meet with you here,” Maria’s frown intensified. She began to tap her foot on the floor indicating that her patience was running thin when she glared up at him, “What did he say to you?”

“He threatened me,” Scott replied thinking about the cryptic phone call he’d received.

“How?” she asked impatiently.

“He said that I had something he wanted and he wanted it back,” Scott informed her fighting to contain the shudder that carried over him in remembering Markus’s words, “He said that he’d underestimated me, but he wouldn’t make that mistake again.”

“There I can agree with him,” Maria scoffed with a roll of her eyes, “You fucked up tonight Summers.”

“Perhaps,” Scott shrugged his shoulders, “but then again maybe not.”

“Oh no you certainly did,” she argued with him, “Not even on my worst day could I have managed to blunder this as much as you did tonight on a whim.”

“Look, I was trying to do what was asked of me, but at the same time I had plenty of reservations about…”

“Your job wasn’t to have reservations. It was to simply take orders, which is something that I thought you were well-versed in doing after years of training with Charles Xavier,” she tossed back at him flippantly, “All of those rumors about you being the perfect soldier…”

“I don’t know what rumors you’ve been listening to, but I’ve been a team leader first,” Scott countered with a scowl, “I’ve been known to weigh out the odds, to assess the situation and come up with a strategy that…”

“Takes us ten steps back all because you couldn’t hold it together when push came to shove,” she answered heatedly, “You knew what I was expecting out of you and…”

“I pieced together what I thought you were asking, but you never fully prepared me for what we were going up against. Had I known everything about the situation, then…” Scott stopped himself when he found his agitation level rising. Instead of getting into a screaming match with her, he took a step back and tried to regroup before speaking, “That’s irrelevant.”

“No, it really isn’t. You screwed up.”

“Even so,” Scott looked over at her once again, “What Markus said to me tonight really struck a chord in me.”

“About how he underestimated you?” Maria arched a curious brow.

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly as he replayed the phone call in his mind, “It was the part about telling me that I had something of his and he wanted it back.”

“What did you take Summers?” she questioned suspiciously, “If he said you have something of his…”

“I didn’t take anything,” Scott informed her with a frown. Bringing one hand up over the back of his neck, he let out a pinched sigh, “I did my best to follow your instructions and…”

“You weren’t even close to following them,” she quipped folding her arms in front of her chest.

“Regardless,” he groaned outwardly, “Aside from what happened in the observation room, I never encountered anything that I would dream of taking with me.”

“No?” she challenged giving him a long once over, “What about the sample of Euphoria that he gave you?”

“He told me to have it tested in my own lab when I questioned him on it, remember?” he pointed out with a frown, “If that was what he wanted, then why give it to me in the first place?”

“Because he wanted you to sample the serum firsthand and see…” Maria reminded him with a shake of her head.

“…how fucked up his alternate reality can be?” Scott shuddered at the reminder of what he’d witnessed in the observation room with the volunteers, “No thank you. Everything that was happening there tonight wasn’t real. It was all an illusion created to…”

“To what?” Maria questioned.

“I don’t know just yet, but there was something about the trials that…,” he trailed off unable to shake the thoughts that consumed him, “It doesn’t matter right now. With what happened in the facility I would imagine it would shut the trials down for a little while and give us time to…”

“To what?” Maria questioned impatiently, “tell him we are sorry that you’re an idiot who overreacts and beg for him to give us one more chance to make it up to him for you having a field day in his labs?”

“Well, no, not exactly, but…” Scott couldn’t help, but frown at her sarcasm.

“He’s undoubtedly pissed that you blew up his network and destroyed his work,” Maria pointed out with a frown, “and to top that off you didn’t gain any of the intel I needed either. If we could’ve had that tracker in place, then we’d be one step ahead of the game, but with you failing on that mission…”

“You need to be straight with me Maria,” Scott moved across the room to take a seat at the small table beside the window. He motioned for her to do the same as she reluctantly followed him, “What are we dealing with exactly?”

“With Markus?”

“With all of it,” he pleaded with her wondering if she would finally cut with the games and tell him the truth she’d avoided disclosing earlier in the evening.

“Someone you don’t want to have angry with you,” Maria answered cryptically. She wrinkled her nose as she reached for the dirty, upholstered chair beside the round wooden table. She seemed to hesitate contemplating whether she would sit down or not before she issued Scott another small glare, “You’re going to get hepatitis staying in a place like this.”

“I’ve stayed in worse,” Scott admitted thinking about his last trip to Boston. Almost immediately his thoughts returned to Logan in the bathroom, wondering how Logan was holding up in the shower after they’d arrived at the motel. Their ride over had been almost completely silent after they’d come up with a plan in dealing with Markus. However, beyond that they’d kept their distance in the motel with Logan taking the time to try to recover from the lingering side effects of the Euphoria. Scott, meanwhile, called Maria and Logan opted to take a shower and get cleaned up. During that time Logan was in the bathroom, Scott had also left the motel for a bit. He picked up a few items for Logan to wear from the gift shop before Maria arrived, hoping that it would at least give Logan something to put on when their guest arrived.

“I don’t want to know,” she grudgingly took a seat in the chair. He did the same sitting down across from her before staring directly at her.

“What are we dealing with?” Scott questioned again, “Who is Markus?”

“Someone with unlimited power and enough resources to eliminate all of us if he decided it so,” Maria answered with a small shudder. Her eyes shifted around the room again when it was clear that she wasn’t as collected as she’d been earlier in the night. Instead she seemed tense—almost frightened when she forced herself to look at Scott once again, “He’s a monster Scott and you’ve only served to agitate him tonight with your actions.”

“I need a bit more to go on than that. I need to know exactly what he’s capable of so that I know what I’m dealing with,” Scott replied knowing only too well that the best way to go up against an enemy was to know the enemy so you could study their strengths and weaknesses.

“He’s worse than that gang that has a price on your head,” she revealed shifting in her seat across from him at the table, “The lengths at which he will go to in order to destroy you are endless. He’s well connected and takes pride in the vengeance he seeks with the grudges he holds near and dear to him.”

“Yeah I got that part, but I feel like there’s something missing from the story,” Scott prompted her further. He attempted to scrutinize her responses—hoping somehow to pinpoint her reaction to what he was asking of her, “Something more I should know.”

“You screwed up tonight,” she sneered.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You’re an idiot,” she scoffed with a roll of her eyes, “and a terrible team player.”

“I’m actually an incredible team player when my team wants to play by the rules,” Scott argued the point with her only to elicit another groan.

“You’re an asshole,” Maria stated point blank. She looked directly at him, her mouth curved in a deep, resonating scowl that caused lines over her face that Scott was certain most women her age wouldn’t experience that readily in their anger.

“I’ve heard worse,” he shrugged leaning back in his seat and agitating her further, “but that’s not relevant to this conversation. What the hell did we get ourselves into tonight?”

“An operation that has been months in the making,” she explained reaching up to place her hand on the tabletop before looking down at the wooden surface and rethinking the gesture, “This case is something that we’ve been working on for longer than I can remember and…”

“Why the urgency in the meeting tonight?” Scott questioned scrutinizing her responses to him. She shifted on her seat, growing increasingly uncomfortable as her eyes moved to another part of the room away from his line of questioning, “You said it was about meeting with a potential buyer—that you were working out a deal to locate the Euphoria suppliers, but that was a lie, wasn’t it? None of what you said to me at the beginning of the night was on the up and up, was it?”

“I don’t have to answer that,” Maria replied stubbornly after a long, uncomfortable silence carried over the room between them.

“You don’t,” Scott agreed with her, “but you will because right now as angry with me as you are, you know that you and I are going to need to work together to get ourselves out of this situation that…”

“You created,” she snapped in recoil, “You were the one that decided to go full cowboy in your escape and…”

“Why were we there to meet with him?” Scott cut her off with a stern, to the point voice, “Hill, what was really going down with that negotiation tonight?”

“Markus needed to believe we were solely interested in his Euphoria business,” Maria divulged letting her guard down a bit. She leaned back in her chair, relaxing in her posture matching his movement as Scott waited for her explanation, “His is one of the strongest Euphoria suppliers running right now and…”

“That’s not why you were interested in him though,” Scott challenged.

“Markus is one of the biggest dealers in the industry and…” Maria offered up with a neutral expression on his face, “His role in the empire accounts for more than half of the trafficking in the country and…”

“The drug holds no relevance to S.H.I.E.L.D., does it?” Scott couldn’t help, but frown when another thought carried over him about their mission, “That wasn’t at all what you were interested in learning more about tonight.”

“Summers,” she spoke his name behind gritted teeth.

“You were just blowing smoke up my ass to find a common goal in all of this,” he deduced, “You were pushing for a mutual interest so that I would be motivated to join you in your quest to take him down.”

“Summers I told you that…”

“You played me from the start, didn’t you?” Scott’s eyes widened behind his visor, “You went there tonight with a goal in mind and when you saw me you realized you’d walked into an opportunity to use me as your pawn.”

“That’s not why…” Maria argued with him. She shifted on her seat again, looking over towards the motel room door once again.

“Yes, it is,” Scott decided with a shake of his head, “You knew my history—that mutant rights are on the forefront of my agenda these days given the tense political climate that we live in. With all that’s been happening…”

“You’d be best suited to stop this line of questioning before it starts,” she warned sharply.

“Because it’s the truth? Because I’m making you uncomfortable in realizing that you were full of shit with everything you said to me when we made our way into that club?” Scott challenged seeing that her face revealed nothing. She offered up no hints about his suspicions, but the longer they spun around in his mind, fighting to formulate a hypothesis about what had taken place at the club, the more he realized he was on to something with her, “All that stuff you told me about the senator’s daughter and the boy that was murdered because of the incident with Euphoria…”

“That part wasn’t a lie,” Maria confessed revealing something more than Scott she’d imagined behind her eyes, “I meant what I said about that Scott. Euphoria played a role in that tragedy and…”

“You knew that hearing that story would be all the motivation that it would take to win me over to your side,” Scott finished with a hollow laugh suddenly realizing that he had underestimated Maria’s ability to manipulate those around her, “You knew that once you dangled the threat of mutant extinction by using that story that I would forgo my own mission and rise up to be there to assist with yours. You knew that I would take the bait and…”

“I meant what I said about the dangers of Euphoria,” she countered attempting to reach out to him again with his words, “That tragedy could’ve been avoided if someone else was calling the shots. If the Euphoria wasn’t so readily available to those kids…”

“You didn’t give a damn about those kids when you pulled me in tonight,” Scott’s words came out far more bitter than he’d intended, “All of that sentimental spiel about how you were upset by the aftermath of that boy’s death—how a powerful mutant was behind the production of the drug and you were working to take them down.”

“That wasn’t a lie,” she blurted out twisting in her chair once again, “Contrary to what the situation called for, I wasn’t bullshitting you when we talked about that case. I want justice for that boy just as much as you do. Knowing that he was made to suffer for the sins of those higher ups who weren’t willing to let go of their vices still gets to me.”

“But not tonight—not there,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown wondering just how far Maria would go to prey on his emotions, “You weren’t there looking to right the wrongs or to take Euphoria off the streets. The story you sold me was bullshit to keep me at your side.”

“Euphoria is a growing problem in our nation and…” Maria began to rehash only to catch the glare that Scott issued her from behind his visor. Frowning, she shot him an equally agitated glare, “Don’t think that I’m not aware of what you’re doing behind that visor.”

“How about we cut the bullshit and get straight to the point?” Scott leaned in over the tabletop to call her bluff, “We weren’t there to barter a deal involving a weapons exchange or Euphoria. We were there because of the trials Markus is running within the walls of the compound.”

“Markus and his associates are the top producers of Euphoria,” Maria offered up in a last ditch attempt to keep Scott on her side of the story, “When we walked in there tonight, we were there to make him see that we could be trusted so that we could reach out to the suppliers and…”

“Cut the shit Maria. Why didn’t you just tell me about the trials?” Scott cut her off abruptly, “That’s the real reason we were there. Sure, Euphoria is involved, but that wasn’t the purpose your bosses sent you there.”

“No,” she finally conceded with a sigh. Sitting up straighter she met his features with a cold, dark stare. It was enough to cut him to the core in realizing that she was no longer attempting to get him to side with her. Instead she’d flipped the switch resuming in business as usual in her words, “it wasn’t.”

“So, then you used that information to get me emotionally invested in the mission? To make me more pliable to fit your agenda?” Scott questioned with a scowl.

“We used each other and let’s be honest at the time neither one of us cared,” she tipped her head up to stare him down directly, “Neither one of us were being on the up and up with one another. We knew what the score was when we walked into that club. We were both doing what we had to in order to get things done.”

“Which begs the question of why any of us should trust you now,” Logan’s voice broke through the tension in the air, causing Maria to spring out of her chair without hesitation. She turned around, bringing her hand to her side as Logan emerged from the bathroom in a loose-fitting pair of black jeans and a green t-shirt with a cigarette brand logo upon it. He had a towel around his neck, rubbing it over his damp hair. Clenching the ends of the towel he glared over at her when it seemed her posture was meant to intimidate him, “What was your real purpose in sending Scott into the fire tonight Agent Hill? Why draw him into what was happening there?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Maria countered keeping her hand close to her hip indicating that perhaps she hadn’t come without a plan of her own in dealing with them.

“You’re wasting your time if you think shooting me is going to solve your problems,” Logan yawned balling up the towel in his hands. He tossed it over onto the nightstand before moving in closer to her and Scott, “The Euphoria has had a chance to work through my system, so that isn’t going to do a thing other than annoy me if you take your shot.”

She stood firm, keeping her hand at her hip when Scott noticed the bulge near her right pocket. How he hadn’t noticed it before when she arrived was a mystery to him, but now he could see the dark leather of the gun holster at her side, keeping the piece she’d brought with her close to her in the event that she decided civility was no longer an issue. Frowning, Scott thought back to his survey of the parking lot wondering if she’d set him and Logan up for something worse now that it would seem she couldn’t be trusted.

“Don’t give me a reason to use it Logan,” she spoke up sternly, her fingers twitching over the holster at her side.

“If you were going to use it, you would’ve done it when you first walked through the door,” Logan scoffed bringing one hand up over the center of his chest and scratching at the white logo over the center of his chest. When it seemed she stood frozen before him, he simply moved in closer to where she was, “Also, I should caution you that in doing so, you’ll only get one opportunity to do so before I tear you apart limb by limb.”

“Logan,” Scott frowned watching as Maria seemed to weigh out Logan’s words. Scott could see the wheels turning in her head, her mind framing all the different outcomes before her posture finally eased up, prompting her release the holster at her side. She lowered her hand down to her thigh, relaxing her fingers before turning around to take a seat in her chair once again.

“Fair enough,” she decided looking to Scott once again, “but don’t think I won’t consider getting a shot in if you try to pull anything.”

“Again, I wouldn’t advise it,” Logan added watching her exchange with Scott, “Now why don’t you tell him what was really going on tonight?”

“I was there to gain intel,” Maria sighed giving herself to a moment of truth with Logan in the room. She brought her hand up over the side of her face, sliding her fingers back down over her neck to indicate that tension was coursing through her body, “I needed to get my hands on that information, so I lied to you because it was the only way to get through the mission without too much collateral damage.”

“A lot of good that did,” Logan quipped taking a seat on the edge of the bed a few feet away from the table.

“You’re one to talk,” she groaned outwardly while rolling her eyes at him, “You’re the reason this all fell to shit.”

“Am I?” Logan questioned giving her a long, agitated once over, “Why don’t you tell Scott the real reason you were there tonight? Or should I tell him about the drug kingpin you were so desperate to expose?”

“I…” she frowned issuing Logan another glare, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Lucky for the both of us,” Logan shot an icy glare at her, “I do and if you aren’t going to be forthcoming with information, I may as well be.”

“Fine,” she huffed before refocusing on Scott, “We busted Markus’s supplier six months ago in an undercover operation. We did a complete takedown on their business and…”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. has been the sole supplier and producer of the Euphoria that Markus has needed for his club and his trials,” Logan blurted out beating Maria to the punch in her explanation, “His former associates spilled the beans on the trials and S.H.I.E.L.D. has been holding the suppliers hostage in their own hidden laboratories ever since.”

“Are you saying that…?” Scott’s eyes widened with surprise.

“They found out about the trials, learned everything about the Euphoria business and got on top of it as they’ve manufactured the drug for Markus and others like him in order to further their own agenda,” Logan continued unapologetically.

“Logan, that’s not entirely…” Maria glared over at him once again.

“True?” Logan reached out for the towel he’d been holding earlier. Swiping it off the nightstand he bought it up through his wild, unruly hair before meeting her angry eyes with a pointed nod, “Don’t try to bullshit us Hill. S.H.I.E.L.D. has been running the show from the start in all of this. Between supplying Markus with the Euphoria, keeping that stuff circulating on the streets and funding the trials…”

“So, what Fred said about you backing the project financially was…” Scott’s jaw practically dropped when he remembered the tech’s earlier words to him in the observation lab.

“They found something that they thought was useful to keep us at bay and they decided to exploit it,” Logan continued in an agitated tone, “They knew full well what Euphoria was doing on the streets, but when they learned about Markus and his work, well, they just couldn’t wait to get their greedy hands on it considering that…”

“You don’t have the first clue what you are talking about,” Maria argued with him. Her eyes shifted between Logan and Scott before she tried to reason with Scott, “Yes, we seized the suppliers and have been keeping them under observation in the manufacturing to neutralize the threat. We’ve kept them incarcerated unable to distribute in unmonitored places like they were before we came in and…”

“Built a drug empire right under our noses. All that bullshit you tossed out there about the government stopping testing was just blowing smoke up his ass so that he wouldn’t realize that he was being played in this little covert operation you had going,” Logan interrupted smugly.

“It was a lie,” Scott realized, “the government never stopped trying to eradicate us. They were merely working to perfect the cure and by putting it out there on the streets like this…”

“Instead they found the perfect cash cow to fund their interest in what Markus had to offer with his trials,” Logan finished brazenly reaching for the towel once again. He twisted it, spinning it around in the air between them before dropping it down on the edge of the bed, “All in the name of scientific advances, right? They couldn’t wait to get their hands-on what Markus was collecting in the trials and…”

“Logan, all of what you are saying is without evidence to back it up and…” Maria stammered, struggling to regain control of the narrative when Logan bridged the distance between the two of them.

“Oh yeah?” Logan arched an amused brow. He leaned down entering into her personal space before a shit eating smirk carried over his lips, “How do you think I ended up as a participant in the trials? Did you think it was my sparkling personality that made me a perfect candidate for a volunteer?”

“Those volunteer surveys were extensively screened,” Maria countered allowing Logan’s words to sink in after a moment.

“Of course, they were,” Logan mouthed with an amused laugh, “because no one you work with ever found a loophole into things before and…”

“You were there because you had someone on the inside you were working with,” Scott realized thinking about what he’d uncovered about Logan’s participation in the trials. Suddenly all of Scott’s earlier thoughts about Logan giving in to the trials because of hidden lust for Scott himself felt foolish. Thinking about how he’d chastised Logan for putting the school at risk, he couldn’t help, but frown when it became painfully obvious with Logan’s head clear after the Euphoria had worked its way out of his system that Scott’s deductions weren’t the case at all. Instead Logan was working on a mission—doing something that he didn’t need Scott intruding upon, yet Scott’s curiosity and brazenness had put a crimp on those plans—compromising Logan and making a mess of everything that surrounded Markus and his trials, “You were volunteering because you were on a mission.”

“Of course, I was,” Logan rolled his eyes as Maria’s face grew a pale crimson shade in her agitation. Taking a step back Logan dropped down to take a seat on the edge of the bed once again with a hollow laugh, “but Agent Hill was already aware of that when she infiltrated the club earlier tonight. She knew full well that I was going through the process of the trials and…”

“Yet you said nothing,” Scott turned to her once again when the weight of the truth came down upon him like a ton of bricks, “You led me to believe you were unaware of Logan’s involvement and…”

“It wasn’t relevant to what I needed from you,” Maria answered stiffly. The color had drained from her face, but her expression was stone cold revealing nothing about her motivation in the moment leaving Scott to realize that in his curiosity he had walked into something that was undoubtedly not meant for him to be a part of.

“You can’t be too hard on her,” Logan interrupted sitting up straighter on the bed. He twisted the towel in his fingers, wrapping it up into a tight, ropelike material, “I was under deep cover in this one considering that…”

“Some of my associates felt that Logan was the ideal candidate for a volunteer given that his healing factor gave him an edge over the other subjects. His body had a bit of a resistance to the Euphoria in small doses,” she divulged grudgingly, “He was working with…”

“Her collaborators to get to the bottom of this investigation only I wasn’t made aware of Markus running the show and his influence in this situation until I was already on the inside. No one let me get that close to the top like you did tonight Slim. Clearly he saw something in you tonight thanks to Hill and now that he’s gotten a taste of whatever he thinks it is, he’s not about to let you walk away so easily,” Logan pointed out as his arms held the towel out in a taut, ropelike fashion. He squeezed his fingers over the edges before flicking one side of the towel into the floor causing both Scott and Maria to jump at his actions.

“What in the world are you doing?” Maria questioned when Logan raised his chin up to look at her once again, “Knock that shit off.”

“What?” Logan shrugged repeating the motion again as Scott frowned.

“Logan,” Scott spoke his name in stern warning prompting Logan to set the towel down on the edge of the bed.

“Fine,” Logan conceded.

There was a long silence in the room giving Scott time to take in all that had been revealed to him in Maria’s arrival. There were still so many questions running through his mind, but in seeing Logan returning to his normal self as the Euphoria began to wear off, Scott couldn’t help, but wonder just how in the dark he over what was had taken place earlier in the night.

“Markus is dangerous. Scott had no idea what he was getting himself into tonight with Markus, but you knew what you were pulling him into,” Logan deduced giving Maria another long, disappointed once over, “You knowingly put him at risk without hesitation or thought to consequence.”

“Markus has been a bit of an enigma since this operation began,” Maria finally divulged turning to Scott again, “Given his ability to shift from one shell to another, it’s been hard to keep tabs on his source code. He’s been evading us for months keeping things as distanced as possible and…”

“Source code,” Scott repeated looking between Maria and Logan, “What do you mean source code? Are you saying that…?”

“The man’s a damn machine,” Logan groaned outwardly as his fingers curled into his palms in tight fists, “a dangerous weapon of mass destruction that…”

“Markus Wellington was a very sick man through the years,” Maria explained stopping Logan’s words in his agitation when it was clear it pained her to open up to Scott in her confession, “He was plagued by the disease that he shared with you tonight. For years it ripped him apart from within, but over time he evolved into something more—something that went beyond humanity and…”

“He became a virus,” Logan blurted out only to elicit a glare from her.

“What do you mean?” Scott asked again suddenly feeling like the only outsider on the information being spread around the room between them.

“Markus Wellington was a man of great intellect. His genius went far beyond most others and in his short time, his ideas created a world of discovery that extended beyond human limitations. He was brilliant and…”

“Batshit crazy,” Logan interrupted with a scowl.

“Yes, he had some mental instability due to his illness, but the possibilities of his thoughts were endless. The things that he could do went beyond any mutation that the government had ever seen,” Maria confessed turning her attention to Scott once more, “He could do things—see things and predict things that…”

“That what?” Scott couldn’t help, but question.

“That made him an asset that the government wasn’t ready to lose. He did their dirty work for a long time offering up his intellect and they got used to having him around,” Logan quipped only to receive a glare from Maria.

“He was an intelligent individual, who brought a lot to the table with his ideas and...” Maria clarified with a frown, unable to hide her distain with Logan in her tone.

“The government wasn’t ready to lose that when he proved to be a useful asset to them. After all, they like to keep a hold on their pets so to speak,” Logan snarled at the reference to his own situation in dealing with the government.

“He was an asset in a great many ways,” Maria paused opting to ignore Logan’s words before turning to face Scott again, “Markus died a few years ago in a house fire in his home in North Carolina. Despite his father’s position in the government as a high ranking official and his vast advances in the medical world, he wasn’t able to save Markus from the inevitable internal break down of his neurological/muscular system therefore…”

“Leaving him without options until a very generous benefactor offered Markus another alternative. After all, given how much the government depended on him to keep people in line, they realized they stood more to lose by letting him leave this world, so they fought to hold onto him. Even in death they kept their vice grip,” Logan finished for her. He curled his bare toes into the carpet beside the bed, seemingly attempting to ground himself when he brought one hand up over the back of his neck, rubbing out the obvious tension that still remained there, “He ceased to be a human and became…”

“A part of the machine,” Maria added turning to Scott again, “He was one of the government’s top projects—kept hidden from the world as a global asset meant strictly for intelligence purposes until…”

“He evolved into more than a machine giving them a perspective on situations and actions that could change the course of history,” Logan added with a huff, “He was once a slave to the system, but broke beyond the chains by finding a way to maintain his autonomy while still keeping tabs on the rest of us for the government. That was the deal, wasn’t it? He spies on the rest of us, gives you what you need to know to keep us in line and he in turn is able to go about as he pleases…”

“So, you’re saying that…” Scott looked between the both of them, “The government is working with him.”

“He proved to be a useful asset for quite some time—long before you and I stepped through those doors tonight,” Maria attempted to explain, “He was around before I was and…”

“There were those in high positions that were willing to turn a blind eye if it meant they kept feeding them with what he’d acclimated in his trials,” Logan continued with a scowl, “As long as he was feeding the machine so to speak, then they didn’t give a damn what he was doing.”

“Is that true?” Scott questioned turning to Maria again.

“He provided us with an algorithm that in some cases determined the fate of the world,” Maria confessed lowering her voice as her eyes shifted to Logan once again. Scott could see that her hand was still positioned close to her hip as if she was still contemplating the option of shooting Logan, “There were skeptics at first, but then when his predictions were becoming a reality…”

“He grew tired of being a pawn in their game. Time and time again they kept pushing for his knowledge, but he wanted his autonomy. He decided to find a loophole to work his way out of being their slave. However, the government wasn’t about to let him leave without a fight,” Logan finished for her. He sat up straighter on the edge of the bed, “When his body failed, they felt they’d finally had a grip on his chains—that they could keep him caged down, but they were wrong. In finding a new way to manifest him, they thought that they could control him, but he found a way to turn the tables on them.”

“He first used his method of intel to provide us with fuel to take down enemies, to prevent wars and mass carnage, to predict attacks from outsiders like what we’ve experienced in the past,” Maria answered opening the door to the truth that she’d kept hidden from in their earlier conversations at the club, “Once that proved effective, he later proposed to keep tabs on his own by offering up the notion of the trials guided by his theory of Measured Autonomic Response Knowledge Under Sedation. It is what guides his trials now in the data collection.”

“Or as the government dubbed it Project Markus,” Logan rose up from the edge of the bed, “It’s a tricky son of a bitch considering that what they thought that they were in control of became the one thing that they are itching to get their hands on, but he shut them out. He rewrote the codes, gave himself ultimate control and shut them out. Instead he evolved into something that no one could predict—developing his own personality traits that went beyond a mere function.”

“Project Markus,” Scott repeated thinking about what he’d encountered at the club, “So what you’re saying is that he’s not nearly a man anymore given that his code has truly made him omnipresent in his world. He isn’t bouncing from host to host, but rather he’s writing the code for each of them when he pushes his way into the shell.”

“What you saw tonight was only one facet of his evolution with the emergence of personality,” Maria explained leaning in closer to Scott, “He was the manifestation of the project that Logan was taking part in, at first a tool for information gathering and processing, but over time he broke away and…”

“He tried to seduce me tonight,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown thinking about the man they’d encountered, “and with the way he was looking at you those were reactions that went well and beyond any machine. Even if he is a program or a code—the things that he was doing and saying...”

“Are part of what her bosses were hoping to neutralize,” Logan glared over at Maria with growing distain, “They didn’t mind him when he was stripped of his former humanity and repurposed into a binary code.”

“He’s not immune to human reaction in his evolution,” Maria stated plainly ignoring Logan’s words, “He rather encourages the idea of exploring it as his hypothesis involves breaking down a human persona into its most basic, primitive instincts. Through his observations, he’s learned to use things such as sexuality and desire to keep a person enslaved through the process of algorithms and…”

“He’s a machine running the club and manipulating those around him to gather information for you,” Scott concluded looking over to Maria once again.

“No, they stopped pulling his strings a long time ago,” Logan grumbled stretching his legs out on the floor before him, “He’s running his own show now.”

“Which is why you were so eager to get inside of his lab and see what is truly going on,” Scott felt the weight of the words sinking in over him. Frowning, he spoke up in an accusatory tone, “He’s one of your experiments gone wrong.”

“No,” she shook her head firmly, “He’s something that has evolved past whatever hold the government has upon him. Whatever he was no longer exists as it has been replaced with something more.”

“Replaced how?” Scott asked.

“A few years back a hacker cracked our system and gave Markus a sense of autonomy,” she explained with obvious hesitation in her tone, “The limitations that his initial programmer put upon him as a safety switch in his creation have been eradicated and now he’s working as a free agent to…”

“To what?” Scott questioned noting the worried expression on Maria’s face.

“To destroy humanity Scott,” Logan blurted out giving weigh to the seriousness of the situation at hand, “That’s what S.H.I.E.L.D. is afraid of. He’s capable of studying all of our weaknesses and vulnerabilities and exploiting them for his own personal gain.”

“But he’s a program—a machine that…” Scott looked between them.

“That’s evolved into a living, breathing thing and that tracker I gave you tonight was a means of putting an end to him,” Maria answered readily, “When I gave you that drive I wanted you to put it into his database to find out where his mainframe was operating from. If we were able to isolate his base, then we could shut him down for good and…”

“You were taking on a machine,” Scott realized when the weight of her words hit him hard, “You sent me in to entice a computer program hoping that it would be drawn to me.”

“It was beyond that Scott. In his human form, he’s vulnerable and…” Maria began again with a frown.

“You intrigue him,” Logan piped in with a small shrug of his shoulders, “You’re an anomaly. That’s what he told you, right?”

“How did you know that he…?” Scott’s eyes widened with surprise behind his visor.

“He’s good at reading people Slim and there was something about you that pulled him in,” Logan hesitated clearly holding back on something when he contemplated his words. A moment later he spoke up again, “Perhaps it was your inability to reveal emotion like most of us do. He can sense when a person is trying to hide something and…”

“You think that’s why he was drawn to me? Because I’m repressed in my emotions?” Scott couldn’t help, but frown at Logan’s suggestion.

“Hardly,” Maria rolled her eyes at Scott’s words, “He knew full well that you were coming to his club tonight seeking out Logan. It was that investment that made you a target.”

“How would he know that?” Scott looked between Logan and Maria when it suddenly dawned in upon him, “Because of the trials. He knew that I was coming because…”

“I’d inadvertently pointed him in the right direction,” Logan swallowed down his breath. He looked away from Scott before pacing around the room, “My involvement must’ve pulled you in closer and…”

“This whole thing was bullshit from the start brought on by this mess that you created in the first place,” Scott deduced rising from his chair. He looked between Logan and Maria as a scowl creased over his lips, “You’ve both been pulling on my strings and…”

“No,” Maria shook her head firmly, “tonight you provided me with an opportunity. You were meant to plant that tracker and…”

“And what?” Scott questioned throwing his hands up in the air, “Allow me to entice a machine long enough for you to give it some kind of virus?”

“That’s not that the plan was. The plan was to…” Maria hesitated to contemplate her words.

“Make me look like an idiot caught up in a game I knew nothing about,” Scott finished with an agitated tone, “You put me on the front line without any real information, hoping I would help you steal secrets that were not meant to be shared and…”

“You got out of there unscathed,” Maria pointed out with a frown, “We all did and that’s something that we should all be thankful for.”

“He can’t touch you now Scott,” Logan added with a scowl of his own, “We aren’t going to let him get close to you again.”

“In case you haven’t noticed Logan, Markus has already decided that I’m on his radar,” Scott quipped with a tight grimace, “For whatever reason he felt compelled to reach out to me tonight and…”

“We can use that to our advantage,” Maria piped in encouragingly, “He hadn’t taken it upon himself to truly reach out to anyone until now and…”

“No,” Logan argued, “whatever you’re thinking right now, it is not happening.”

“Think about it, Logan,” Maria glanced over at him again, “Scott was able to work his inside and find a way to get to Markus. He was able to move in deeper than anyone else has until now. He believes Scott has something that belongs to him.”

“So what?” Scott questioned looking over at her once again, “You think that should mean something to me?”

“You were able to break through the shell tonight Summers,” Maria stated firmly. She sat up straighter giving him a long, scrutinizing look before her words came out in a neutral, pragmatic tone, “We can use this to our advantage given that he’s made contact. If he thinks that there’s a chance that he can pull you back in…”

“No fucking way,” Logan blurted out causing both Maria and Scott to look over at him. He shifted uncomfortably on the bed before waving his hand around in the air, “Slim didn’t sign up for this like you and I did…”

“Maybe not, but he’s managed to get further than either one of us have at this point,” Maria argued with him, “Markus very rarely takes the opportunity to draw someone in and…”

“It’s not going to happen,” Logan shook his head firmly. He sat up straighter on the edge of the bed and snarled, “Like I said before he didn’t sign up for any of this like we did, and I refuse to lose him again after I just got him back.”

“Logan…” Scott spoke his name watching as rage and anger transformed into another emotion Scott hadn’t picked up on Logan before that point in time. His fingers were clenched into his palms balling into fists, but there was something about the quiver of his jaw that caused Scott to take pause in the moment.

“You aren’t…”

“I didn’t fight like hell to get him back only to end up losing him again like this,” Logan snapped in recoil revealing something more in his tone. When it seemed that his anger had seemingly got the best of him, he stood upright moving in closer to the table and scowled down at Maria, “It’s not happening. He isn’t going near Markus ever again.”

“We can keep him safe,” Maria argued further, “If we can get him to lead Markus into opening up, then…”

“He called to threaten Scott,” Logan pointed out with a frown, “Obviously he’s pissed that Scott didn’t fall for his bullshit and…”

“So, we make him think that he has. We coach Summers on how to work his way back in and…” Maria suggested as if Logan’s words were only serving to further inspire her thoughts.

“Not a chance,” Logan argued with a snarl, “Summers is out of this. It isn’t happening.”

“Um guys…” Scott spoke up with a frown, “right now I think we should…”

“We’re keeping you out of this Slim,” Logan snapped back at him, “You have no business being a part of this operation.”

“I’m already a part of it, Logan. In case you haven’t noticed I’m the one he called tonight,” Scott reminded him with an outward groan, “Whether I wanted to be in on this or not, now it seems I’m without a choice on the matter. Once I stepped into that club my options became limited and…”

“We can keep you safe,” Maria suggested when Scott could see the wheels turning in her mind, “If you cooperate with us on this operation, then…”

“He’s going to get himself killed,” Logan argued further, “It is a risk that I’m not willing to take. I refuse to allow it.”

“Since when did you get a say on what he does on a mission?” Maria tossed back flippantly, “Last time I checked he outranked you Wolverine.”

“Rank or not, this isn’t his battle to fight,” Logan’s words flashed with dark warning, “He’s not a part of this mission and…”

“It’s a little late to argue this point now,” Scott blurted out with a frown, “Whether I like it or not, I’m already in too deep to pull back. After tonight it is clear that Markus wants to reach out to me.”

“Tough,” Logan tipped his head down to reveal the agitation that carried over the lines of his face. His jaw clenched as he bared his teeth, revealing a more primal response to the suggestions of Scott’s involvement being tossed around, “Your part in all of this is over. After tonight we go back home, talk to Chuck, give him everything he needs to know about this, and you forget everything that happened tonight. You let it go and…”

“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Maria rolled her eyes at him, “and given the track record Summers has, we both know that he’s not going to walk away from this—not when there is so much hanging in the balance.”

“He’s not doing it,” Logan argued rising off the bed, “Markus is more dangerous than you know. The things he’s capable of…”

“He doesn’t have a choice,” Maria stood up matching his movement. Her hand returned to her hip again, reaching for her holster when Logan’s arms dropped down to his sides. His fingers balled into fists, his lip curving in a deep snarl when Scott found himself weighing out his options.

“Markus has already reached out to me,” Scott pointed out hoping to diffuse the situation between them, “He wanted me to respond to what he said tonight.”

“Good for him, but you’re going to ignore that call,” Logan kept his eyes on Maria when he spoke to Scott, “You’re going to forget everything you learned tonight and go back to keeping it simple at the school.” 

“How long is it going to stay that way?” Scott looked between the both of them, “If he’s truly a machine, then how long will it take for him to track us down—to send more of his cyborgs out here to finish the job in extracting his vengeance upon all of us for what I did to his labs and…”

“Scott’s right you know,” Maria added impatiently, “He’s not going to just ignore what happened tonight. He’s going to want to tear us to pieces for causing him the setback that he experienced tonight.”

“She’s right,” Scott hesitated before taking in an uneasy breath, “I put both Maria and I at risk.”

“That’s an understatement,” Maria rolled her eyes at him.

“No, I mean…” Scott looked down to the ring on his finger, “when he was trying to move in on me, I let him know that I was married—that I was a happily married man that…”

“You what?” Maria’s jaw dropped in horror, “You said that you were…”

“I implied that you and I were…” Scott felt his face grow hot in the admission.

“Were what?” Logan questioned with a frown.

“Maria and I were together when we arrived at the club,” Scott divulged quietly. Avoiding Logan’s angry eyes, he took in a long, slow breath, “We agreed to play the role of partners and…”

“You led Markus to believe the two of you were intimate with one another,” Logan deduced looking between them both, “Shit, I don’t know if I want to laugh or groan at that one. The two of you…”

“It worked to the point that it challenged Markus to move in for the kill,” Maria countered, “When he believed Scott was off limits…”

“Scott suddenly became the next challenge he was looking for,” Logan realized tilting his head to the side and looking at Scott again, “Why wouldn’t he? Slim presents the ultimate conquest to someone on the outside looking in. He might be tough, but he looks like someone in need of corrupting and…”

“Toss in a forbidden temptation and anyone is bound to take the bait,” Maria added when something flashed behind Logan’s eyes forcing him to look away from Scott, “Face it, Markus isn’t about to back down on the challenge Scott has presented for him. He’s going to want to try to move in for the kill.”

“Fine. If that’s the case, then we beat him to the punch,” Logan explained as Maria scoffed.

“Without the tracker, how do we do that?” she questioned glaring over at him, “We have no clue where his base of operations is considering that…”

“Kingston,” Logan blurted out.

“Kingston?” Maria repeated, “What are you talking about? What’s Kingston?”

“The backup of the data was being sent to a warehouse in Kingston,” Logan informed her with a shake of his head, “On Sunday when the team came to extract the files, I paid attention to what was happening. The company that picked up the files was from a shell corporation in Kingston and…”

“Kingston,” Maria pondered the thought, “I guess that would make sense considering that Markus’s father once had a summer home out there years before his passing and…”

“That’s where this ends for all of us,” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth, his words resonating as the missing piece of the puzzle for Maria.

“Then I guess that’s where we go next,” Maria decided reaching into her pocket and withdrawing her cell phone, “I can get a team out there asap and we can take the next step in…”

“We can finish this by tomorrow night and call it a day,” Logan added with a firm nod, “We go in there, take what we need and get out without any backlash.”

“Markus won’t see us coming,” Maria readily agreed, “Once we put a team together, we can end this as painlessly as possible.”

“Without Slim being a part of it,” Logan piped in again.

“That’s still to be decided,” Maria cautioned dialing a number on her phone.

“I’ll provide you with the information you need if and only if you keep him out of this,” Logan attempted to bargain with her, “I’ll find the location and then we can work on ending this without him.”

“He’s already a part of it,” Maria seemed to ponder his words, “and even if we take down the operation, we’re going to need more information on what’s going on in those trials. Tonight, those subjects that were at the club were moved out before we could get anything substantial and…”

“I’ll give you a full account of what I have been through if you leave Slim out of it,” Logan promised her.

“Logan, I’m perfectly capable of…” Scott frowned standing his ground now that Logan was working to barter a deal to push him out of the mission.

“I’m not going to let you kill yourself just to prove that you’re strong,” Logan turned to face him again, “I’m not going to let you rush into a frivolous death where…”

“It isn’t your decision,” Scott snapped in recoil.

“It is now. If Hill wants what I have to offer, then she’s going to have to take it without you,” Logan snarled placing his hands on his hips. He tilted his head, issuing Scott a glare that Scott was all too familiar with through the years, “I said you’re out of it.”

“Who the hell gave you a choice in the matter?” Scott’s voice rose with agitation, “I’m the one who gives the orders on missions and…”

“Not this time,” Logan took a bold step in towards him. His eyes shot daggers into Scott when his words came out in a tight, emotional hiss, “I outrank you on this mission and as far as I’m concerned, you’re not a part of it from here on out Slim.”

“Logan, we both know that it won’t be that easy to just…” Maria spoke up again watching the exchange between the two of them.

“That’s my deal,” Logan replied in a firm, unyielding tone.

“You can’t tell me to stay out of it,” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension, “You know as well as I do that as your squad leader…”

“You can kiss my ass Slim because there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you in on this. I refuse to let you put your future on the line going in half-cocked on a situation you really know nothing about. This is my mission and I don’t need you getting in the way and screwing things up for me,” Logan argued before turning to Maria again, “You tell your boss I’ll give him every last piece of intel that facility has to offer as long as you keep Scott far away from this. If that doesn’t happen, then I’m out. As it stands, I’m your last hope of getting what you want, so you’d better think fast on this one.”

“I have to make a call,” Maria replied springing up and out of the motel room out into the parking lot. When it seemed that she was well on her way to making the arrangements, Scott turned to look at Logan again.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Scott demanded making a bold move in closer to Logan.

“Keeping you alive,” Logan matched his movement, stepping up to glare at Scott, “You’ll thank me for it later.”

“I didn’t ask you to keep me alive,” Scott argued further, “I only asked you to listen to me and…”

“You followed me tonight and caused all of this out of some misguided notion to protect me,” Logan waved his hand around in the air, “You decided that it was the perfect time to step outside of your situation to put your nose into mine and…”

“You were in trouble,” Scott argued with him further, “You were hurting yourself and…”

“I’m not your problem anymore Scott,” Logan’s jaw flexed with tension. His gaze dropped down to Scott’s lips, taking a moment to linger in his observation of Scott’s mouth. For a moment, Scott felt something change inside of Logan, but almost as soon as it revealed itself, he returned to a mask of anger all over again, “I don’t need you to be mine either. I’m tired of you fucking this mission up. You did more than your fill back in Boston to make me realize that we don’t work well together as a team. All you do is weigh me down.”

“That’s a lie and we both know that,” Scott replied feeling the weight of Logan’s words upon him, “When we were in Boston, you know as well as I do that…”

“It doesn’t change anything,” Logan offered up reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face in a surprising movement. Stepping in closer to him, he stretched his fingers out, allowing the slow slide to taper off over Scott’s hollowed cheekbone before pushing into Scott’s tousled dark hair. The movement caused Scott to gasp, to feel his skin ignite in the places where Logan touched him. Before he knew it, he was stepping forward, leaning into Logan’s touch and finding his lips parting—remembering only too well how rage had often transcended into something deeper between them in the past.

“It changed everything,” Scott divulged in a shivering exhale. Immediately his gaze dropped down to Logan’s mouth, feeling the warmth of Logan’s breath upon him. Despite his attempt at a neutral resolve, his heart was racing in his chest, his mind taking him to places he was certain he shouldn’t be going. However, with Logan’s fingers teasing over the edge of his hair, sliding around to the back of his head to draw him in closer, Scott found himself losing sight of what he’d been thinking. Instead he stepped forward, placing his hand over the center of Logan’s chest, unable to refrain from reaching out to feel the strong, steady beating of Logan’s heart beneath his touch.

“You can’t risk yourself for something that happened before we came to this point,” Logan tilted his head down, craning his neck in such a fashion that their lips were a mere couple of inches apart. Logan’s labored breath spilled from his lips over into Scott causing Scott’s lips to part further with anticipation, “You can’t sacrifice yourself for a man that no longer exists. I won’t allow it.”

“Logan,” Scott blinked up at him, struggling to put his thoughts to words when Logan’s grip on the back of his neck guided him forward, causing Scott’s fingers to curl over Logan’s shoulder. There was something about the desperation in his tone, in the way that his eyes swept over Scott’s features, bringing them together in a heated moment of turmoil. Taking in a breath, Scott watched Logan’s tongue drag over his bottom lip, calling to Scott in ways that he dared not think about, but just as they seemed to move in closer to each other, a nagging thought carried over Scott causing him to hesitate in his movements. Abruptly, he pulled back searching Logan’s features again, “I thought you said you didn’t remember anything about Boston.”

“I don’t,” Logan sighed feeling Scott pull away from him, “but I’m sure if I did, he wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned giving Logan another long look when something seemed to shift inside of him, “Logan, are you saying that…?”

“I’ve got us a team,” Maria’s voice broke through the moment causing Scott and Logan to push away from one another. Without a second thought, Scott turned away from Logan opting instead to push one hand through his hair as he cleared his throat. Taking a step across the room to place a safe distance between them, Scott finally found the courage to face Logan again when it was clear he’d gone unaffected by the moment that had passed.

“Do we have a deal?” Logan questioned forcing himself to stay focused on Maria.

“We can be out to Kingston in the morning ready to take Markus down by mid-afternoon,” Maria agreed when Scott found himself feeling suddenly out of place in his surroundings.

Taking in a breath, Scott looked between Logan and Maria struggling to pull together a coherent thought. As Logan’s words swirled through his mind, he cleared his throat and sidestepped around the motel room.

“Well, it seems that the two of you have it all figured out,” Scott frowned realizing that despite his attempts at doing the right thing, he’d somehow been left out of the loop on a pretty big operation that went well and beyond his scope. Now looking between Logan and Maria, he decided that he had more than his fill of the information they were giving him. Throwing his hands up in the air, he pushed away from the table with a shake of his head, “I guess neither one of you need me anymore in all of this. You’ve got it all set and I’ll leave you to it.”

“Summers,” Maria frowned.

“Save it,” Scott moved across the room reaching for his keys and marching towards the motel room door, “I’m glad that I could finally bring the two of you together to collaborate on this one. I wish you lots of luck on the mission.”

“Scott,” Logan called out to him, but it no longer mattered. Instead Scott stomped out into the night having had more of his fill about being in the dark about something as important as the mission he clearly knew nothing about. Now armed with agitation and a massive headache over what had just taken place with Logan, he contemplated leaving the motel, but instead he made his way to the bar across from the motel deciding that what he really needed was a long, hard drink to clear his head once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading this one. I know it is a longer story, but I promise it will be a great Scott/Logan payoff as it goes. If you are enjoying this, please feel free to let me know. Even if it is a kudos that would be amazing because trust me it helps keep the creative fires going! Thanks again to everyone who has been so supportive of my writing! You are incredible!


	7. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finds himself on the receiving end of an offer he simply doesn't want to refuse in this new world he's entered into.

**Desire:** _a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen._

“Great. Are you going to deal with that?” Maria’s voice only served to further agitate Logan after Scott had stomped out of the motel room enraged by the night’s turn of events. Now as Logan stood in the center of the run-down motel room attempting to process how his mission had gone to complete and utter shit upon Hill’s arrival, he simply stood by the window watching Summers rush off to his car. At first Logan thought that Scott would leave watching as Scott unlocked the driver’s side door. He leaned forward bending inside to pull something out from the glove compartment. There was a fading light from the top of the car, illuminating the tiny interior, but just as Logan had convinced himself that Scott would go off to deal with his own agitation far away from Logan, Scott stepped back slamming the car door. He looked around seemingly observing their surroundings before he stomped across the parking lot headed towards the rowdy biker bar that was adjacent to the motel, “Logan?”

“Yeah,” he responded grumpily looking to her again.

“Are you going to take care of that situation, or am I going to have to take care of it?” she questioned behind pinched lips.

“I said that I’ll talk to him,” Logan conceded with a frown. Thinking about how she’d brought Scott into the mission, exposing him to things that Logan had hoped that Scott could avoid altogether, he couldn’t help, but snarl, “We’ll get all of this sorted out, but from here on out Slim stays out of it.”

“We both know that’s not an option,” Maria replied in a distanced tone.

“I wasn’t asking for your permission on this,” Logan revealed gruffly, “Whatever you put him through tonight, he’s not going to stay in it. This isn’t his mission.”

“It became his mission the moment he stepped inside of that club looking for you. Even someone as clueless as you are can concede to the fact that even though things went wrong tonight, he’s someone we need in all of this,” she reminded him with an agitated huff, “They still want him on the team.”

“You had no right to pull him into whatever it is that you’re running with this on your end,” Logan growled feeling his frustrations mounting, “He’s in over his head on this and we both know that.”

“From what I’ve seen Summers is perfectly capable of handling his own,” Maria noted issuing him a long, scrutinizing once over, “Despite his screw up earlier, he managed not only to get the both of you out of that compound in one piece, but he was also able to tear the fortress walls down without any casualties in his retreat. I’d say that was a win for us tonight, but if you tell him I said that I’ll deny it.”

“I’m not saying he’s not capable, but…” Logan hesitated as a frown touched over his lips, “It’s just better to keep him out of this.”

“Better for who?” she arched a scrutinizing brow.

“Look,” Logan turned to face her fully after Scott had stepped into the biker bar, “I know that you think you have some kind of authority on this situation, but all I have to do is make one phone call and…”

“What?” she countered with a scowl, “You’ll cause even more of a headache for those higher ups you are hoping to avoid. Look Logan we both know that this isn’t going to resolve itself. If what you said about Kingston pans out like you say it will…”

“It does,” Logan cut her off abruptly, “and I’m sure once we get out there, you’ll see that we can settle this once and for all without pulling anyone else into the situation. You can get what you need from Markus and…”

“Do you really feel comfortable leaving Summers behind when Markus is still out there with all access at any time?” Maria challenged rising to her feet. She stepped in closer to him, her words coming out in a firm, warning tone, “How long do you think Markus is going to stay away now that Summers is on his radar?”

“He never should’ve been there in the first place,” Logan’s jaw flexed with tension, “This mission doesn’t concern him.”

“Summers decided that it did when he went looking for you and that’s all there is to it. I’m confident that he can hold his own tomorrow,” Maria simply shrugged her shoulders. She reached into her pocket, pulling out her cell phone before nodding over at him dismissively, “I trust that you’ll take care of all of this.”

“He’s not going in on this with us,” Logan warned when Maria moved across the motel room and reached the door. She hesitated momentarily before issuing Logan a warning glance.

“We’ll head out in the morning to Kingston with or without you Logan,” Maria cut back in a sharp, agitated voice. She opened her mouth to say something further—to put the situation in perspective before she reached for the doorknob. Opening the door, she made one step forward before hesitating and looking over her shoulder. She met his eyes again before speaking up, “You do what you want to, but it would be in your best interest if you and Summers were there when this goes down. Otherwise I can’t guarantee your safety…or his in how this plays out.”

“Fine,” Logan finally conceded with a frown, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Fair enough. Oh, by the way I had your motorcycle brought back for you. You should receive a towing bill in the next eight to ten business days back at the school for its retrieval. No need to be sloppy with things,” Maria replied issuing him a nod. Seconds later she slipped out of the hotel room, making her way out into the night to undoubtedly update her superiors on her progress. It seemed that things were finally in order only unlike what Logan had planned, he found himself between a rock and a hard place dealing with the reality that despite his best laid plans, he’d managed to put Scott in harm’s way.

“Fuck,” Logan cursed looking around the motel room again. Thinking about the way he’d felt upon his arrival, he found himself wishing like hell that he would’ve been able to put Scott off when he’d left for the club. Time and time again he’d tried to be clever about things—tried to keep his mission under wraps, but once Scott had followed him, he should’ve been smarter about the situation. He should’ve simply knocked Summers out and left him to sleep it off in his car somewhere, but instead they were holed up in some shitty motel dealing with the brunt aftermath of a mission gone wrong.

“This is not what should be happening,” Logan mouthed to himself, unable to mask the irritation that carried over him. Instead of sleeping off the headache that would inevitably last until the next afternoon due to the Euphoria, he was going to have to try to find a way to talk Scott down—to encourage him to listen for once and do what was needed to get the job done even if that meant Logan locking him up in the school’s basement to keep him out of harm’s way.

 _“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself,”_ Logan could almost hear Scott’s voice in the back of his head. While Logan knew it was the truth, there were things that didn’t factor into the situation. There were variables that Scott wasn’t aware of in the mission—things that Logan knew that not even Hill was aware of. It was with that knowledge inside of him that Logan managed to slide his feet into the brown work boots that Scott had picked up for him in his quick shopping expedition. They were a little tighter than Logan would’ve liked, but they would have to do as Logan reached for the hotel room key and found himself stomping off towards the bar ready to deal with Summers and his attitude. Still in thinking about what Scott unknowingly placed himself into by following Logan, he couldn’t help, but find himself increasingly frustrated. Knowing that there was a chance that Scott would end up hurt or worse, Logan found that everything felt wrong.

Stomping across the parking lot, Logan pushed his way through the night feeling the cool winds of an impending storm carry over him. It was practically pitch-black outside—far later than he’d anticipated it being now that the wind rushed through the night, reaching deep into his core. It caused him to tremble and shake, silently cursing the lingering effects of the Euphoria upon him. If it wasn’t for that damned drug, then he could’ve taken control of the situation instead of having created a disaster like the one he and Scott had left behind at the club. Instead he was met by aches and pains, caught up in the realization that he was in fact an old man playing a dangerous game with his future.

“No matter,” Logan decided reaching the front entrance to the bar. He pulled the door open, making his way into the smoky venue as the sound of hard rock pounded through his body, causing his chest to vibrate in his heightened senses due to the Euphoria’s strange side effects. He stood still, momentarily allowing his body to adjust to the scene. He closed his eyes attempting to take a calming breath before he found the strength to survey the bar, seeking out the man who’d undoubtedly had him tied in more knots than he’d cared to admit to. It didn’t take long to discover Scott perched upon a barstool and slumped over the bar. He had a frothy beer mug in hand and given his posture, Logan could see that it was going to be one hell of a night for him now that Summers was dealing with the aftermath of his failed mission.

Brazenly making his way through the bar, Logan managed to weave through the crowd of bikers, taking in each one of their conversations and heightened scents when the Euphoria seemed to tug at his senses, twisting them a bit further in his movements. For a second the room felt like it was spinning around him when it was clear the Euphoria was still lingering in his subconscious.

“Son of a bitch,” he cursed attempting to steady himself. He tried to still his thoughts, but the environment came at him full force blasting him with the scent of alcohol and cigarettes. He could hear heavy breathing of a man to his left and the heart beating of another to his right. It was there in his mind pulsating repeatedly, growing and expanding as Logan clenched his fists at his sides attempting to still the sensory overload. For a moment he found himself focused on the clicking sound that carried over the jukebox indicating that the music was about to change. It was there just a brief second before the song changed shifting to a classic 70s hard rock tune.

“Keep it together,” Logan mouthed forcing himself to focus again. His eyes reopened and he found himself focusing on his teammate at the bar, losing himself to his agitation and another round of rather large sized beers.

“Oh yeah, it’s going to be one of those nights,” Logan groaned outwardly knowing full well that opportunity wasn’t going to give him and Scott any real down time with one another. This was going to be about as good as it got before Logan buried himself in his mission all over again ready to take on one of the biggest challenges in his time in this world. Still pushing forward he approached the bar, sliding onto the stool beside Scott. Instead of speaking to him, Logan kept his eyes forward, signaling for the bartender to bring him a round. When it seemed that Scott was frozen in the moment, ignoring Logan’s arrival, Logan grudgingly spoke up to break the ice.

“Hill told me to say good night to you before she took off. She hated to see you leave the party so soon,” Logan broke the silence. He didn’t bother to look at Scott, but rather he sat at the bar, keeping his face forward when the bartender brought him a beer.

“I’m sure she did,” Scott’s voice was laced with heavy sarcasm.

“She was really tearing up about it,” Logan joked further, “Turns out that she likes your companionship better than mine. Said you were more manageable.”

“I doubt that,” Scott couldn’t help, but crack a small smirk. Almost as soon as it revealed itself, it soon faded away, “Then again you are a pain in the ass.”

“So, I’ve been told. Did you see that she brought my motorcycle with her?” Logan questioned thinking about what he’d spotted near the room when he’d walked out through the parking lot to join Scott, “Guess they wanted to make sure we didn’t leave any evidence behind at the club.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Scott replied offering up nothing further. There was another long silence before Scott spoke up again, “Though knowing Hill, she probably placed a tracker in it so that she could keep tabs on your whereabouts now that she knows you’re wrapped up in that mission.”

“Good point,” Logan leaned in over the counter with a huff, “Remind me to look for it when we return.”

“Already did,” Scott replied not bothering to look at Logan. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the small, black equipment he’d pulled off Logan’s bike when Logan hadn’t been paying attention. He slid it across the countertop, pushing it closer to Logan before revealing the shadow of a grin once again, “It was a quick sweep, but you’re welcome to give it a follow up when you get back to the room.”

“Thanks, Slim,” Logan replied reaching for the small piece of government equipment before him. Curling it up into his palm, he squeezed with minimal effort listening to the sound of it cracking in his grasp. After a few seconds he felt the tiny shards rolling around in his palm indicating that the damage had been done to it. Looking down at the top of the bar, he noticed a half-eaten bowl of nuts before him. Reaching out he sprinkled the dark plastic and metallic pieces over the fractured remains of the mixed nuts before him.

“Make sure no one eats that,” Scott frowned dismayed by Logan’s reaction. As Logan stretched his hand out towards the bowl again, Scott was already reaching out to push the bowl further across the bar. For a brief second their fingertips connected on the edge of the dark, plastic bowl, skimming against one another for the faintest of teases before Scott pulled back.

“Always the boy scout,” Logan noted sliding the bowl to the edge of the bar hoping the bartender would pick it up and dump the trash within.

“I try to be,” Scott shrugged, returning to a somber silence. He sat up on the barstool, his posture perfectly rigid and uptight, coming off like someone who belonged anywhere, but where he was seated next to Logan.

“Yeah,” Logan replied surveying the bar around them. Unlike most of the places this one seemed more flexible with rules and restrictions allowing the customers to smoke inside. The scent of cigarettes and stale cigars carried over Logan’s senses taking him to a place he might’ve readily immersed himself with a lukewarm beer if not for the fact that Scott was seated beside him looking more wound up than Logan could imagine. Yes, he’d always been uptight, but this seemed different—more concerning as Scott held onto the mug he’d been drinking from upon Logan’s arrival.

“So,” Scott cleared his throat. He squeezed at the glass again, raising it to his lips and swallowing down another hearty sip of the beer before him, “What time are we leaving in the morning?”

“We’re leaving tonight,” Logan answered stiffly, “We’re going to get you back to the school where you can take that sample of Euphoria you have to Hank. He’s going to learn everything he can about it and then I’m going to go with Hill to…”

“No,” Scott blurted out firmly.

“No?” Logan repeated finally tilting his head to the side to look over at Scott, “What do you mean no?”

“That’s not going to work for me,” Scott glanced over at Logan briefly. His lips were pinched in a tight grimace before he raised the beer mug to his lips again. He took a long, hearty sip swallowing it down when Logan could sense Scott’s anger radiating through him. It was enough to bring a bristling chill in the air between them when Scott faced forward once again, “I’m going with you.”

“Like hell you are,” Logan snarled clenching his fingers tighter around the beer mug.

“The way I see it we don’t have a choice in the matter,” Scott clarified with a frown, “Hill said as much before I walked out of the room.”

“Hill doesn’t know the first thing about running this operation,” Logan frowned, “She’s merely a yes man so to speak and…”

“But you aren’t, are you?” Scott looked at him once again for a moment, “You know something about this that she doesn’t, don’t you?”

“Markus is a monster,” Logan replied.

“That you willingly entered into a situation with,” Scott recalled with a frown, “You put yourself out there allowing that man access for this half-assed mission that not only made you vulnerable, but you put the rest of us at risk by…”

“Are we back to that again?” Logan frowned impatiently, “I already told you that I’m on a mission where…”

“You couldn’t tell anyone what you were doing?” Scott questioned tilting his head down to focus on the beer before him. With a sigh, he swirled the mug around in his glass watching the froth on top of the liquid before speaking up, “I don’t buy it. Charles wouldn’t send you off to do this on your own without any kind of backup.”

“Chuck wasn’t the one that sent me,” Logan answered honestly.

“Right,” Scott nodded again, “So I take it you’re back to working for the Avengers again, huh?”

“This one goes a little beyond their limitations,” Logan divulged thinking about the mission at hand for him, “This one…it’s…”

“What?” Scott asked turning to face him again.

“It’s personal,” Logan answered quietly.

“Personal how?” Scott inquired with tension creasing over his features.

“It doesn’t matter how,” Logan shook his head dismissively, “The point is that it isn’t something that…”

“How is it personal Logan? Explain to me how you got yourself wrapped up in all of this? How are you connected to this situation?” Scott pushed the issue in what Logan suspected was an attempt to get a straight answer out of him about his actions.

“Scott,” Logan hesitated unable to ignore the weight of the agitation that radiated over Scott’s body. There was no doubt that he was upset—seeking out answers that Logan was hesitant to provide, yet armed with the knowledge that Scott was in harm’s way, Logan chose to ignore Scott’s questioning once again opting instead for a more direct approach on his decision on the matter, “you can’t be here.”

“Too late for that answer,” Scott wrinkled his nose dismissively, “I’m already here.”

“But you don’t have to be,” Logan reminded him with a sigh, “You shouldn’t be putting yourself in the line of fire—not like this.”

“I’m not going to leave you hanging on this,” Scott argued with him, “Regardless of what you will or won’t tell me about what you were doing there, it’s clear that the Euphoria is screwing with your head. Whatever your intentions were on the matter, I can see what it’s been doing to you.”

“That’s an unfortunate side effect of the situation, but…” Logan stopped himself knowing that arguing wasn’t going to get him any further with his companion, “I did this for all the right reasons. Despite what you think about me right now, I can promise you that this wasn’t simply to destroy myself.”

“It didn’t feel like it earlier when I saw…” Scott stopped himself when it was clear that there were things working inside of his mind that went beyond their conversation. He opened his mouth preparing to say something further when the thought seemed to refuse to fall from his lips instead staying locked inside of his mind a bit longer.

“This isn’t about Boston,” Logan offered up remembering his earlier conversation with Scott in the car before things had spiraled out of control between them, “Look, regardless of what you thought was going on…”

“I don’t understand,” Scott sighed with grip tightening around his mug again.

“I realize that, but…” Logan hesitated not quite sure what to say to his companion, “Tonight was a cluster fuck of a situation. It wasn’t meant to play out the way it did.”

“But it did and now…” Scott sighed. He set his mug down on top of the bar before he spoke up with a distanced tone, “There were things that I saw tonight that…”

“I’m not denying that this mission was beyond my control,” Logan conceded with a frown wondering just what Scott had been subjected to in his time with Markus, “but what I do know is that this isn’t a place for you. You shouldn’t be here.”

“Again, we’ve already covered that I am and…” Scott sighed bringing his hand down on the countertop.

“But you shouldn’t be,” Logan replied looking down at the fingers that not that long ago were wrapped up in his embrace. Feeling his face grow hot, Logan thought about how he’d reached for Scott, taking the initiative to hold him and caress his palm. He thought of the hot kisses he’d deposited over Scott’s smooth skin, remembering only too well the intoxicating taste of Summers beside him. It was enough to cause his face to grow flushed—his mind to return to places that the trials had only forced him to face time and time again lost in a life that could never be. Still in thinking about the importance of keeping Scott safe, Logan found himself taking a drastically different approach in their conversation, “You deserve so much more than this. You have a life at home with Jeanie. She needs you and you need her. You have a future ahead of you that goes well and beyond this mission. You two are living the dream we are all seeking out Slim as the picture-perfect couple and…”

“Do you think I’m happy Logan?” Scott questioned reaching for his beer mug. He raised the frothy glass to his lips and let out a long sigh.

“I mean I haven’t really taken the time to give it all that much thought,” Logan paused weighing out his words when he pondered the tension that had existed between him and Scott over the last few weeks, “but I think that you have a lot worth holding onto. You’ve finally got everything you’ve ever wanted in your life and…”

Scott let out a dark, hollow laugh, “How the hell did you get that impression?”

“Because I saw you outside of Chuck’s office that morning,” Logan replied watching as Scott gulped down on his drink leaving Logan to remember the day when he’d walked into this new world. There were so many questions Logan was left without answers for, but the moment he’d discovered Scott Summers alive and standing before him at Jeanie’s side, everything about this new world had started to fall into play. Scott was alive and well, which were two things that Logan had hoped for regardless of what that would mean for him in this new place.

Now looking over at Scott, Logan found himself thinking about how much he’d hated himself for wanting more—how awful he was for dwelling on what he would never have, yet after tonight’s slip up, he found that perhaps he had made a mistake in crossing a line that wasn’t meant to be crossed. Their moment in Scott’s car had gone without explanation or discussion given that Markus had interrupted them, but now as Logan looked over at Scott weighing out the observations he’d made in the world since his arrival, he found that he wished like hell that he hadn’t been in the position of the odd man out. Even with Scott alive and well, it hadn’t been enough to satiate the ache inside of him—it couldn’t quench the need that the trial had only served to magnify, “I saw that you and Jeanie were…”

“Nothing, but at huge lie,” Scott scoffed setting his beer mug down on top of the bar.

“I don’t believe that,” Logan argued finding himself focused on Scott’s fingers wrapped around the beer mug, clenching it tightly in his grip.

“That’s because you aren’t willing to be honest with me or yourself,” Scott answered in a hollow tone, “We both know that things have been headed down the wrong road for a while. With everything that transpired in Boston…”

“Scott about that…” Logan hesitated not quite sure how to tell Scott that the man he’d gone on a mission in Boston with wasn’t the one that was seated beside him. There were still so many questions unanswered—so many things that Chuck had sworn would come rushing back to him, but they hadn’t. Instead he was the odd man out living a life that once belonged to someone else—someone who had been blessed with the perks that Logan had never been able to hold onto in his life. Now focused on Scott’s fingers, he couldn’t help, but find himself wishing like hell that he could reach out and touch him. If only he’d been strong enough to compromise himself and give in to instinct. If he was less of a man, he’d ignore his conscience and just give in—just allow temptation to sweep over him as it had in Scott’s car when the Euphoria pumped through his veins forcing his inhibitions to take a swan dive in favor of lust and desire. He was a bundle of nerves, want and desire wishing for nothing more than the man beside him, yet now after the effects had mostly died down, he was filled with regret, knowing full well that they hadn’t been meant to cross the line with one another.

“You don’t want to talk about it,” Scott’s words broke through his thoughts, “I get it. I do.”

“No, Scott it’s…” Logan couldn’t help, but frown.

“It’s fine Logan,” Scott raised his mug to his lips again finishing it off before signaling for the bartender to bring them another round, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s best if we never bring it up again.”

“Look Slim…” Logan hesitated caught up in his thoughts all over again. He opened his mouth to say something more—something that would ease the tension between them, but instead he lingered in his silence, slumping down on his barstool as the rock music surrounded them. He could take in the smell of alcohol and cigars, could hear the roaring sound of laughter from the others in the bar, caught up in having a good time far away from the reality that surrounded Scott and Logan.

“Don’t think that I don’t realize that my wife is cheating on me,” Scott’s pained voice rose above the pounding beats of the song that filled the air around them. At first Logan thought he’d imagined it, but when he watched Scott’s jaw flex with a deep tension, his throat bouncing with the swallow he took down, Logan couldn’t help but realize what Scott was saying to him, “I’m not blind Logan. I know that she and Bishop have been seeing one another for a while and…”

“Bishop?” Logan couldn’t mask his surprise, “And Jeanie?”

“Like you didn’t know it was happening,” Scott groaned outwardly. He let out a pinched, hollow laugh, but there was no mistaking the sadness in his voice, “After everything that’s happened, I would imagine everyone knows they are sleeping together. Even Jean knows that I know, but…”

“But what?”

“I guess we didn’t want to bother going through the motions. We talked about what happens next, but divorce…” Scott let out an ironic laugh, “Who wants to see that happen to the Ken and Barbie of the X-Men? I mean you said it yourself we are the picture-perfect couple as you put it. Who wouldn’t want to experience that?”

“You mean you two aren’t…”

“Happy?” Scott arched a curious brow from behind his glasses, “When have I given you that impression? Hell, I always assumed you’d be the one that ended things for us, but when you seemed to lose interest…”

“Scott, I know I’ve been a dick through the years, but I swear to you if I would’ve known that you would be this upset, I never would’ve pursued Jeanie and…”

“Pursued Jeanie?” Scott’s jaw dropped with astonishment, “When the hell did you pursue her?”

“I mean when I was flirting…” Logan stammered thinking about the situation that had played out in the other lifetime that Logan was struggling to put behind him. Taking in Scott’s words, Logan couldn’t help, but wonder just what his actions had done to provoke a distance between Scott and Jean in this time when it had seemed that on the surface that they were more solid than ever before Scott’s admission about Jean’s infidelity.

“I was talking about me Logan,” Scott replied in offense turning his focus to his beer again, “about us, but just like Boston clearly I must’ve imagined it all those times when you came knocking on my office door and…”

“And what?” Logan questioned sensing the disappointment that rushed over Scott’s body.

“Never mind,” Scott slumped his shoulders and let out a long sigh, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Even so,” Logan paused not knowing what to say when he realized just how miserable Scott seemed beside him, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Scott shrugged bringing his beer to his lips again, “Anyone with eyes could see what was happening.”

“Scott…” Logan brought his hand out contemplating touching Scott, but he held back.

“Life changes people,” Scott sighed swallowing down his beer before lowering the mug to the countertop again, “It’s not anyone’s fault. It just…happens…”

“Still,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown back at him.

“I guess it just proves that what they say about things that are too good to be true,” Scott forced a dull, hollow laugh, “Jean and I were just so used to hearing it all the time that maybe we lost ourselves in living up to the hype of what our relationship meant to everyone else around us.”

“Slim…” Logan started once again.

“Don’t,” Scott half pleaded squeezing his fingers around the beer mug, “Let’s just drink and close out this disaster night on a high note.”

“Fair enough,” Logan agreed falling to silence again at Scott’s side. He shifted on his seat, keeping his eyes forward, but there was no mistaking the fact that Scott was still inside of himself stewing over the admission he’d shared with Logan. Unable to ignore the pain that Scott was feeling, Logan briefly touched Scott’s hand, allowing his fingers to linger over Scott’s wrist for just a moment before pulling away, “Are you okay? Truly…I know that this must hurt, so tell me are you…?”

“Tell me what you were doing at that club tonight,” Scott ignored his question in favor of pursuing the difficult answer once again.

“I already told you that I was on a mission,” Logan answered stiffly.

“We both know it wasn’t only about the mission,” Scott avoided looking over at him, “Given what I saw…”

“A friend asked a favor out of me and I owed it to him to do this,” Logan replied hoping that his words would be enough to placate Scott. Within seconds it was clear that he’d been unconvincing in his declaration when Scott’s plump, perfect lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl.

“We both know that’s not the only reason,” Scott prompted him further, “Helping an old friend might’ve been what set you down this path entering into that world, but…”

“It wasn’t what kept me returning,” Logan conceded revealing the hard truth that had weighed upon him since the trials began, “I’d promised him that I would help him with a situation that had taken place, but…”

“Talk to me,” Scott urged him on further, “What’s really going on?”

“He reached out to me a few weeks ago,” Logan divulged thinking about the distraction that he’d positioned himself for after he’d ended up in a whole new world surrounded by things that felt foreign to life as he had once known it. Drawing in a breath, he raised his own mug to his lips and took a long, drawn out sip, “Right after that day at Chuck’s office…”

Scott sat silently waiting for Logan’s explanation, which only furthered to make the situation awkward.

“I went out for a drive on my bike,” Logan explained lowering his voice, “I went to a bar hoping to clear my head.”

“Sounds like a typical move for you,” Scott quipped with a brief smile that faded almost as soon as it appeared.

“He and I were in the war together,” Logan paused realizing that his answer was vague, “Vietnam. We hadn’t seen one another in years, but as we got to talking, he mentioned that his granddaughter had gone missing. Good kid—a little misguided, but still a good kid. Going to an Ivy League school during her junior year of high school, but one day she just up and disappeared. Turns out that the last place anyone saw her was at that club you were at tonight with a group of friends.”

“So, you volunteered to go check it out for him,” Scott realized taking in Logan’s words.

“She’s a good kid,” Logan repeated hoping that his reasoning would be more than enough. Feeling his words jumbled up inside of him, he fought to refrain from saying what was truly on his mind in favor of delivering the truth about his involvement to Scott, “Norm still had connections in the justice department and once he got wind of the trials taking place…”

“He sent you in to find his granddaughter,” Scott realized tipping his head to give Logan a long, once over.

Logan shrugged, “Figured that I would do my part in helping someone that still thought I was worth something. Turns out that a week after I got involved, she washed up on a beach somewhere near Canada damn near drowned without any memory of where she’d been.”

“Because of the trials?” Scott deduced turning his focus to Logan again, “Do you think she was one of the volunteers?”

“I don’t know, but I wasn’t about to let it go not when Norm was seeking out answers,” Logan explained drawing in a breath, “Turns out there were others interested in what was going on and once his granddaughter was hospitalized, I kept pushing forward on the mission—digging deeper until…”

“You became a volunteer,” Scott realized when it seemed the weight of Logan’s words carried over him, “You felt a duty to your friend and…”

“I couldn’t walk away without the truth about what happened to that girl. Norm phoned in a few favors and before I knew it, I was in,” Logan’s jaw flexed with tension, “When I discovered that there were so many others there all taking part in those trials…”

“You kept pushing further attempting to seek out the truth,” Scott finished knowingly, “which is exactly what I would’ve done if I were in your position. Knowing that was going on…”

“You wouldn’t have been as stupid about it as I’ve been,” Logan confessed somberly. Raising his mug to his lips, he took down a long swallow, allowing the lukewarm liquid to run down his throat, burning at his insides. He closed his eyes taking in the smoky scent of the room around him, remembering all the times in the not so distinct past when he’d found up at a place similar to the one they were in drinking and desperate to put the trials of the night behind him, “You would’ve known not to get caught up in it the way I did. You would’ve found another way.”

“I haven’t exactly been an expert on how to handle all of this. I feel like I’ve been slipping lately,” Scott noted keeping his eyes forward, “Tonight proved that I wasn’t prepared to…”

“I mean with the trials,” Logan clarified with a scowl, “Maybe it was overconfidence or desperation, but after that first night—when I first took the Euphoria…”

“What?” Scott questioned tipping his head to look at him once again.

“I knew better, but I just couldn’t walk away—not after that first taste when…it just…it did something to me,” Logan’s words tapered off when he thought of what the trials had brought to his life. A simple truth-seeking mission was easy, but what he’d subjected himself to willingly after that first night had been hard. At first, he’d written it off as being dedicated, but the deeper he sank into the process, the more he knew that it didn’t end there. The Euphoria had changed things for him—had heightened his desires and brought him full circle to a place where he could never be no matter how hard he’d tried to obtain it.

Lost in his thoughts, Logan practically jumped off his barstool when Scott spoke up again in a low, inquisitive tone, “You could’ve easily gone to someone with a report on your first night during the trial if you wanted to. You could’ve blown it all out of water after that first night in observation.”

“I could’ve,” Logan grudgingly agreed.

“Then why didn’t you?” Scott questioned pointedly, “Why were you really there each night taking those power dampening drugs?”

“To make me feel again,” Logan answered honestly. He lowered his head, caught up in the shame that the realization brought upon him. It would’ve been easy to dismiss his motives as altruistic, but deep down he knew that both he and Scott knew better, “It’s been a long time since I really, truly felt anything.”

“So, you went seeking out pain?” Scott half questioned softening his tone, “That seems like an unsavory solution to the problem you’re having.”

“Pain lets me know that I’m still alive.”

“And the rest?” Scott prompted him further, “With the daily trials and the aftermath…”

“It’s complicated,” Logan found himself staring at the mirror behind the bar they were seated at.

“We’ve got time,” Scott pushed the issue further, “Tell me about it.”

“I’d rather not,” Logan shook his head dismissively.

“Why?”

“Because it isn’t any of your damn business,” Logan snarled fearing the truth about the words that threatened to overtake him. Instead of giving in to them, he swallowed down the truth with a taste of the beer, gripping his fingers tighter around the beer mug in his hand, “It’s my life.”

“Indulge me,” Scott prompted him further in an attempt to push Logan further than he’d wanted to go in their exchange, “Tell me what it is about pain that excites you.”

“What is it about nagging me that excites you?” Logan tossed back flippantly refusing to reveal the truth behind his actions.

“Maybe it’s the rush of the thrill in knowing that sooner or later you’re going to want to reach out and grab me,” Scott’s voice shifted revealing a dark undertone that went beyond the nagging squad leader. Looking down to the top of the bar, Logan realized that Scott’s palm was pressed firmly over Logan’s. His fingers were sliding over the center of Logan’s hand, moving in a faint tease up over the curve until he stretched his fingers out over Logan’s knuckles curling and twisting between his fingers in a seductive brush of flesh against flesh.

“Scott?” Logan swallowed down nervously. He felt Scott massage between his fingers, toying with him for a moment before withdrawing from the touch.

“There are other ways to feel alive, you know,” Scott offered up cryptically.

“Yeah?” Logan replied feeling warmth sweep over his senses at the contact between him and Scott.

“What if we push our limits with one another somewhere else?” Scott questioned signaling for the bartender to bring them another round.

“What do you mean?” Logan questioned looking at Scott’s reflection in the mirror. He could see that Scott was nervous, that his posture was rigid and uncomfortable, but as Scott licked his lips, revealing more than his stoic features often revealed when they were at the school going through the motions on their daily routine.

“I’m saying,” Scott hesitated to keep his face focused directly on the same mirror that Logan was staring into, “we should get out of here and go somewhere private.”

“The motel room is shit,” Logan answered thoughtlessly.

“I’m not necessarily saying the motel room,” Scott countered in a low, urgent breath revealing something darker in his words, “I’m merely suggesting that we get out of here…together.”

“Why would we do that?” Logan gulped down when the scent of desire and arousal hung heavy in the air around him. It was so strong that Logan knew full well he didn’t have to ask what was next. Hell, he didn’t want to as Scott’s left hand eased down under the top of the bar and casually dipped down to brush over Logan’s inner thigh. Wordlessly, Scott curved his fingers inward taking the time to ease his slow, calculated movements over Logan’s inseam. By the time the bartender returned with another round, Scott’s fingers were well beyond an appropriate position, blatantly massaging Logan through his jeans, making no mistake about his intentions. His right hand reached for the beer mug, lifting it to his lips as Scott’s fingers contacted Logan’s cock, silently coaxing Logan to respond to the teasing. When Logan sat motionless beside him at the bar, Scott’s touch grew more aggressive, pawing at Logan until he grew painfully hard caged beneath the denim he was wearing.

“Because the way I see it, you’ve always wanted to fuck me and now’s your chance,” Scott explained in a calm, business as usual voice. He raised his mug to his lips again, simply swallowing down the beer as if he hadn’t just propositioned Logan in the most blatant of fashions.

“So, you’re saying that we…?” Logan practically choked down on the words when Scott swallowed down his beer.

“Fuck,” Scott repeated with a small nod. With a tip of his head and a push of his now empty beer mug across the top of the bar, Scott waited for Logan’s response. When it seemed that Logan had forgotten how to answer, Scott prompted him further, “What do you say?”

“You better have a good place in mind or I’m going to bend you over the back of my bike outside of this bar,” Logan decided realizing that an opportunity like this certainly wasn’t going to present itself twice in one lifetime should he decide to decline Scott’s offer.

“That sounds perfect,” Scott agreed releasing his grip on Logan’s groin, opting instead to reach into his own pants pocket and pull a few loose bills out of his wallet. He slapped them down on the countertop, nodding over to the bartender before clearing his throat. Standing up straighter he gave Logan a brief, dismissive glance before turning on his heel to walk away from the bar, “Be out there in five minutes or the deal is off.”

* * *

“What the hell am I doing?” Logan questioned walking out of the bar and wondering what kind of fantasy he leapt into after Scott had discovered him at that club. At first, he’d imagined Scott would belittle him for the depravity that Logan had going for him in his life, but never in a million years did he anticipate that Scott ‘the boy scout’ Summers would proposition him so blatantly. Never in his life had he witnessed something to lewd and obscene coming from Scott’s mouth. Hell, even when he’d been part of the other world where Scott had come to him seeking out something deeper from their connection, he’d never outright asked Logan to sleep with him. Sure, it had happened a few times before Scott’s untimely death, but never had Scott flat out offered up that kind of naughty proposal. Sure, Logan had fantasized about it, but there was something about the urgency in Scott’s tone that set Logan’s mind and body ablaze. Perhaps it was the aftereffects of the Euphoria still pumping through his veins, but in knowing how close he and Scott had come to falling into temptation earlier in the night, Logan knew full well that resistance was futile. He wanted Scott. He knew it. Scott knew it. Denying it currently was simply a moot point.

“Don’t overthink it,” Logan mouthed to himself, remembering how he’d tossed a few bills on the countertop back in the bar. He’d been nervous—in a rush to get to Scott but knowing that the night had proven to be anything, but expected, he’d grudgingly made a pit stop into the men’s room. Taking in a breath, he’d made his way over to the sink, splashing his face and attempting to quell the urgency that had overtaken him—struggling to find a reason why refusing Scott was the right thing to do. The suggestion swirled around in his mind, teasing him for a few unsettling moments until his eyes fell upon the condom machine mounted on the wall, revealed to him from his reflection in the mirror. It served as a sign as Logan noted the time, quickly purchased a couple of condoms and lube from the machine and far too eagerly exited the bar preparing to enter something he’d sworn was an impossibility for this lifetime. Now, as he made his way out into the night, taking note of the dark, rumbling clouds overhead, he wondered if this was the right approach—if he was making a mistake in following his desire to the one thing that he’d convinced himself he could never have. However, as he found Scott leaning against Logan’s bike stretched out across the seat with a smile on his face, Logan found that he no longer gave a damn about weighing out the consequences of his actions. This was what he’s always wanted.

“Hey,” Scott greeted him with a smirk, leaning back further over the seat of the motorcycle. His fingers stretched out across the front of the bike, pushing up over the handlebars as his plump, tantalizing lips parted, “for a moment there I figured you changed your mind.”

“Not about this,” Logan confessed reaching out to wrench Scott up off the motorcycle and into his arms. In a matter of seconds, he was holding Scott in against his chest, weighing out his options when he felt the warmth of Scott’s breath intermingling with his. Dipping down, he sought out Scott’s mouth in a kiss, anticipating the taste of Scott against him, over him and inside of him when their mouths finally collided in a culmination of lust and desire. He found himself wanting it so bad that frustration carried over him when Scott’s palm pushed into Logan’s chest shoving him away with a rough swat.

“I don’t think so. It’s not going to be that easy,” Scott warned with a teasing grin. He wiggled out of Logan’s embrace, sliding back onto the bike again with a wrinkled expression on his face, “You can do better than that.”

“I’m only getting started,” Logan moved forward attempting to reach for Scott again only to feel Scott shove him away. The movement served to agitate Logan, causing him to scowl when Scott made himself comfortable on top of the motorcycle.

“Prove it,” Scott taunted folding his arms in front of his chest, maintaining his impossible position before he tipped his head back towards the night sky exposing his throat to Logan’s ravenous eyes. For a moment, he swore he could see Scott’s pulse leap in his throat, could feel his blood pumping through his veins, sending Logan on sensory overload when he stepped forward. He reached out to Scott again, attempting to pull him off the motorcycle again when Scott shook his head dismissively.

“You’re late,” Scott whispered arching up towards Logan. His words were terse and agitated, revealing a hint of impatience, yet he remained firm on his position on the bike never bridging the distance between them. Instead he nestled his nose at the side of Logan’s neck, seemingly taking in a scent of Logan beside him, so very close, yet worlds away when Logan’s arms surrounded Scott’s slender waist, “I said five minutes.”

“It was close,” Logan guided Scott forward in against his chest, wanting to feel the warmth of Scott beside him.

“Not close enough,” Scott dug his palms into Logan’s shoulders effectively shoving Logan away from him once again. This time he put a bit more effort into it, causing Logan to stumble backwards upon Scott’s escape. He watched Scott return to the motorcycle, leaning back against the bike again, folding his arms in front of his chest. He sat on the edge of the seat crossing one leg over the other at his ankles, watching as Logan staggered on the gravel parking lot before him, “You know how I feel about punctuality.”

“You can take your punctuality and stick it up your…” Logan snarled charging over at Scott, preparing to put up a bit of a fight when Scott sprung up off the motorcycle. Without a word, Scott reached out to Logan, grabbing a thick chunk of Logan’s hair in an ironclad grip. His fingers wrenched harder than Logan expected causing Logan’s head to arch back when Scott eased in closer to him.

“I think we’d both rather you go there instead,” Scott slurred with the heady scent of alcohol on his breath. His lush lips parted, mouth expelling a low, staggering exhale when Logan watched the tip of Scott’s pale, pink tongue dart over his bottom lip. The movement was quick—almost as if Logan had imagined it when Scott tugged harder at Logan’s hair twisting his head back further. With a wicked smirk, Scott moved forward bringing their mouths closer together, yet keeping them inches apart when Scott spoke up in a firm, authoritative tone, “Then again you know how important it is to do things in a timely fashion.”

“Keep nagging me and I’ll show you just how timely I can be on the back of my bike,” Logan snarled arching up to claim Scott’s mouth in a violent, hungry kiss. Almost as soon as it started, Scott pulled back, breathless and wound up far more tightly than Logan had imagined back at the bar. His lips were parted, mouth curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl when Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face.

“Don’t,” Scott warned pushing Logan’s hand aside.

Logan attempted to move in for another attempt at a kiss, but Scott brushed him off. He released Logan’s hair and reached out to shove the center of Logan’s chest. This time there was something darker behind the movement, taking him from relaxed to wired when Logan reached out for Scott again.

“No,” Scott warned with a low growl.

Agitated Scott turned away from Logan walking over to the motorcycle. When it seemed that Scott was set on torturing him for his tardiness, Logan took a bold step forward preparing to do what was necessary to make it up to him. He reached for Scott’s arm attempting to pull Scott back into him, but Scott wouldn’t budge in his dismissal keeping his back to Logan.

“Slim?” Logan half questioned watching as Scott seemingly put up a wall between them.

“You’re late,” Scott repeated behind clenched teeth revealing something darker than Logan had anticipated.

“Yeah,” Logan conceded with a frown, “I’m late. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I’m wrong for doing it, so fuck me, right?” Logan groaned outwardly.

“That was the plan,” Scott’s voice shifted, indicating the same hunger that was there in the bar before his departure.

“If you’d stop being so damn stubborn, we could get back to that,” Logan reminded him with an impatient huff, “You can’t just dangle that in front of me and then freeze me out like this.”

“I’m not freezing you out,” Scott answered looking away from Logan once again. He tipped his head up focusing on the night sky above them.

“Then what do you call this?” Logan questioned taking a tentative step towards him, “I did as you instructed…yeah, so maybe I’m a few minutes late, but I’ve got a good reason.”

“I doubt it,” Scott quipped in a smug tone.

“Yeah, well what the fuck do you know?” Logan took a bold step forward reaching out to sweep his fingers over Scott’s hips. With a quick pull, he guided Scott’s bottom up into his groin, gently grinding their bodies together as Scott let out a long, slow moan, “Good things are worth waiting for.”

“Maybe I’ve just realized that I’m tired of waiting,” Scott spat back impatiently. He reached out behind him to grip and twist his fingers into Logan’s thigh in a rough, urgent clasp.

“Then it looks like we’re on the same page with one another,” Logan slurred pressing his lips over the back of Scott’s neck. Taking note of the goosebumps that formed over Scott’s flesh, Logan inhaled sharply. The scent of desire and longing radiated in the air between them, causing Scott to shift and twist against Logan’s groin. It served to remind Logan of Scott’s teasing back in the bar. Remembering how hard he’d been when Scott had sauntered off, Logan couldn’t help, but snarl appreciating that Scott was teasing him—making him work for what he’d offered up despite the bluntness of Scott’s proposal.

“We’re getting there,” Scott’s words fell behind gritted teeth and pinched lips.

“How about we work a little faster?” Logan suggested twisting Scott’s arm up behind his back, guiding him to a submissive position. Without a word, Logan bent Scott’s arm further while taking another step forward. In a haste he sent Scott down face forward over the motorcycle, twisted with his abdomen over the seat, sliding up against the leather. Smiling Logan stepped in closer, guiding Scott’s arm up further and causing him to wince. Scott tilted his head back, stealing a glance at Logan. Quickly Logan released his arm, instead reaching out to grab Scott’s hips. Without a second thought, he pushed forward thrusting against Scott’s body, making himself at home behind Scott’s muscular thighs as his jean clad arousal rubbed up against Scott’s firm, muscular bottom making no mistake about what he’d wanted.

“I figured you changed your mind. What was the hold up?” Scott practically moaned reaching out behind where he was folded over the motorcycle. He gripped at Logan’s thigh, twisting his fingers into it in another rough squeeze that caused Logan to snarl. He dipped forward nipping at the back of Scott’s neck, grazing the soft, vulnerable flesh over Scott’s pulse point with his sharp teeth. He could hear Scott panting, attempting to keep himself together as he started to wiggle against the motorcycle, but when Logan bit down hard, he listened to the sound of Scott whimpering caught up in the moment.

“Needed protection. Figured there was no telling what the Euphoria might’ve done to me, so wanted to be safe,” Logan grumbled squeezing his arms around Scott tighter than before refusing to let Scott slip away. Logan’s heart was pounding in his chest, mind filled with all the places where he wanted to touch and tease Scott, but it hadn’t prepared him for the moment when Scott’s hips propelled him backward, recklessly crashing into Logan. He wiggled for a moment, giving Logan plenty to think about until Scott twisted on the motorcycle. He pulled out of Logan’s grip, spinning around to face Logan again. With a shake of his head, Scott’s palms pressed over Logan’s chest, brushing and teasing over the front of the thin t-shirt Logan was wearing.

“You got it in there?” Scott practically laughed at the thought, motioning towards the bar they’d been in with one another.

“Desperate times,” Logan shrugged tilting his head to the side. Unable to help himself Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face, hoping to exploit the connection between them. For a moment, he watched Scott’s lips part, felt the weight of his desire when he let out a soft, contented sigh. With Scott’s hands upon him, Logan’s breath came out in a shivering exhale.

Drawn to Scott’s lips, Logan leaned in close to him, anticipating the taste of Scott’s plump, perfect mouth, but much to Logan’s dismay, he felt Scott push him away refusing to meet his mouth in a kiss. Instead Scott’s fingers balled up over the bottom of Logan’s t-shirt, pushing up underneath the material to spread his fingers out over Logan’s warm flesh, hot and ready to be touched, to be teased with Scott beside him. He groaned, closing his eyes and allowing sensation to overtake him when Scott’s fingers curled around Logan’s hip, pushing down over his thigh. In a surprising move, Scott reached down between them again, massaging Logan though his jeans all over again. The rhythm of Scott’s fingers caused Logan’s hips to thrust forward, allowing the slow, steady slide of Scott’s fingers brushing over his cock to take him to places he’d simply ignored up until the trials had overruled his life. With a low roar, he reached out behind Scott gripping at his ass in a rough, aggressive movement. It caused Scott to step in closer, rubbing up against Logan’s body in a blatant, urgent tease.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Logan admitted cupping and squeezing at Scott’s bottom, wanting to imprint everything about the man before him into his mind now that it seemed fate was coming full circle for them. With a low moan and a rough tug, his hands were sliding up over Scott’s spine, squeezing at the back of the black, button down shirt Scott was wearing. When it seemed that the heat of Scott’s body radiated through the material, Logan reached up, seizing Scott by the back of his neck. His fingers roughly pushed into Scott’s hair, wrenching his head back attempting to gain access to Scott’s lips desperate to take a taste of him.

“Me too,” Scott confessed tilting away from Logan’s lips and arching in to kiss the side of Logan’s neck. The damp warmth of his lips, caused Logan to snarl, feeling his skin on fire. A moment later Scott’s teeth sank into Logan’s vulnerable flesh in a rough bite near the dip between his neck and his shoulder. With fingers pressing aggressively over Logan’s pants, outlining his cock in his teasing, Scott was pushing his buttons causing the animal within to emerge.

“Slim…” Logan’s heated breath rumbled, unable to deny how good it felt to have Scott’s hands upon him.

“I want to taste you more than you can imagine, Logan,” Scott panted his name, practically melting at the touch.

“I’d like that,” Logan slurred overtaken by sensation and desire.

“Don’t give me a choice. Make me taste your cock,” Scott’s face was flushed, his lips parting leaving Logan desperate for more longing for the connection he’d fantasized about time and time again, “Push me down on my knees and give it to me. Force yourself inside of me until you’ve had your fill.”

“Slim,” Logan’s breath caught in the back of his throat, surprised by Scott’s words. However, as Logan leaned in closer, attempting to kiss Scott again, he felt the bottom of Scott’s palm digging into his shoulder, keeping him at arm’s length.

“Or just fuck me,” Scott suggested dismissively, “The choice is yours.”

“Scott?” Logan questioned watching as Scott wiggled out of his embrace. Saying nothing more, Scott spun around, facing the motorcycle again. Leaning forward he bent down over the top of the motorcycle, gripping the seat with his palms, attempting to brace himself for what was to follow when there the rumbling of the thundercloud above caused Logan to take pause. Looking up to the sky, Logan realized that there were droplets coming down around them, bringing with them the cold, stinging sensation of a storm from above, “It’s raining.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” Scott’s muffled voice called out from over his shoulder. He wiggled his bottom attempting to entice Logan from his position bent over the bike, but as Logan found himself caught up in the beginning of the storm, he couldn’t help, but rethink his actions.

“I don’t want you to catch a cold,” Logan decided moving in to wrap his arms around Scott’s waist. Instead of grinding up against him, he coaxed Scott upright, guiding him off the motorcycle in a careful pull. His hands pressed up over Scott’s chest, pulling Scott back into him, wrapped up in a tender embrace. Squeezing tighter he nestled his chin against the back of Scott’s neck, hoping to sway Scott into something far more intimate between them, “The motel room might be shit, but the bed sounds nice right about now.”

“We don’t need a bed,” Scott argued wiggling in Logan’s arms so that they were facing one another. He licked his lips, his breath coming out in an urgent, reckless pant. In the blink of an eye he coaxed Logan underneath the awning of the motel, pressing him up against the rusted ice machine outside of their motel room. Before Logan could question it, Scott was pawing at him again, pressing and teasing over Logan’s jeans, attempting to spark a reaction out of him. He dropped down to his knees on the dirty concrete, fingers tugging on Logan’s zipper and causing Logan to look down at Scott before him, wild and reckless in his quest to fulfill the fantasy that Logan had carried with him for longer than he’d remembered. Pushing open the button on Logan’s jeans, Scott parted the material, coaxing it down over Logan’s hips before reaching within to wrap his fingers around Logan’s swelled arousal.

“Scott…wait…I…,” Logan spoke his name, hot and bothered when Scott’s touch swept over Logan’s tortured flesh, gripping and gently squeezing, sliding and twisting, preparing to excite Logan in ways that they’d only brushed upon in the car. With the sound of thunder and the pulsating rain coming down harder beyond the awning, Logan watched the flash of lightning illuminate the sky around them. It served as a reminder of where they were—of how exposed they were when Scott’s mouth hovered dangerously close to Logan’s body, threatening to take him to heaven with the slow parting of Scott’s lips, ripe and eager, preparing to swallow down Logan’s desire.

“I want this,” Scott murmured leaning forward to take Logan into his waiting mouth. His lips parted further, tongue sliding out to skim over the head of Logan’s cock, warm and teasing, damp and unabashed when Logan’s fingers sank into Scott’s wild, unruly hair. Without a second thought, Logan pulled Scott forward coaxing Scott to take him in deeper, to surround Logan with the warmth of his mouth. As if on instinct, Scott eagerly lapped at Logan’s body, mouth and tongue tantalizing him in ways that Logan had only fantasized about since that fateful morning at the school when he’d discovered Scott standing before him.

“Scott…” Logan moaned his name, throwing his head back as Scott continued to tease him, bringing him to full awareness of desire with the storm winds picking up. Arching his head back, Logan felt the hard edge of the ice machine pressed up against his spine, bringing forth an uncomfortable sensation to counter the feel of Scott’s mouth over him, working frantically to get him off in their impromptu seduction. Just when it seemed that Scott had found his rhythm, eagerly lapping up at Logan’s swollen arousal, licking and suctioning, Logan felt the winds change, bringing the rain down upon them with the new direction it had taken. His hands gripped tightly through Scott’s dark hair, coaxing him on further with the slow grind of his hips, thrusting forward. With jeans down below his hips and his bottom exposed to the night air, Logan tipped his head down watching the way that Scott’s mouth went to work, giving the same expert touch that he did with most everything he set out to do. His fist wrapped firmly around Logan’s length providing a contrasting sensation to his mouth, hoping to guide Logan from any nagging thoughts of what he should be doing to what they were experiencing in the moment caught up in the storm with one another.

“Mmm…” the sound buzzed vibrations from Scott’s damp lips causing Logan to groan, to tighten the grip on Scott’s dark hair, coaxing him to take Logan in deeper, to swallow his thick, throbbing arousal with each frenzied movement Scott made. Releasing Scott’s hair, Logan couldn’t help, but touch the side of Scott’s face, coaxing Scott to raise his chin up and meet Logan’s gaze. When it seemed that Scott had ignored Logan’s suggestion keeping things impersonal instead focusing on the friction between them—working Logan in and out of his mouth, hot and wild, ready to ignore everything else, but the task at hand, Logan found himself increasingly dissatisfied.

“Stop…” Logan slurred behind a labored voice, wishing like hell that logic and reason didn’t overtake him. When Scott only seemed to intensify his movements, working his lips over Logan’s body in a frenzy, Logan couldn’t help, but frown seizing Scott by the shoulders. Wordlessly he wrenched Scott up, pulling him to his feet when a scowl carried over Logan’s lips, “What’s wrong with you Slim?”

“Nothing I just want…” Scott struggled to get the words out, to convey what was happening with them when Logan felt an even greater distance between them. Instead of feeling satisfied by the teasing Scott had offered him, he found himself enraged caught up in the weight of what Scott wasn’t offering him in the moment.

“Not like this….” Logan shook his head firmly. He caught the warmth of Scott’s plump lips parting, the way that they glistened underneath the moonlight, caught up in the aftermath of his actions with saliva and the first hints of Logan upon him, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the thing Logan had hoped for as he pushed Scott over towards the door to their motel room. The movement caught Scott off guard, causing him to gasp when Logan shoved him into the door, “Not here.”

“Logan…” Scott whined in protest preparing to reach out for Logan again. Refusing the contact, Logan held Scott in position against the door with one hand while clumsily using the other to extract the motel key from his jeans pocket. With a quick movement, he popped open the lock, practically kicking the door open and shoving Scott into the room. Without a second thought, Logan reached out behind him slamming the door to a close before pushing Scott over towards the bed. Scott dropped down readily, stretching out over the dirty comforter much to Logan’s dismay. With a frown, Logan watched as Scott’s hands pressed up over the front of his own shirt, peeling it open in a hasty, clumsy movement.

“Slower,” Logan ordered causing Scott to take pause in his actions, “I want you to take your time to enjoy this.”

For a moment Scott seemed confused, caught up in something Logan couldn’t quite read. Moving forward, Logan watched as Scott sat up just enough to shrug out of his shirt discarding it on the carpet in a crumpled heap. His fingers soon moved to his belt, attempting to wrench it open when Logan crawled in over the edge of the bed. Somewhere in the process, Logan discarded his jeans leaving them to the floor as he moved over Scott. Seizing Scott’s hands at the wrists, Logan prevented Scott from removing his own dark colored slacks. Instead he pulled Scott’s arms high up over his head, pinning Scott down to the mattress beneath him. With a slow, sliding brush of his body over Scott’s he watched Scott twist and shift, attempting to arch his hips up to meet Logan halfway in the moment. Still focused on what he wanted, Logan eased up over Scott, squeezing Scott’s wrists into the pillows before Logan’s lips hovered over Scott’s keeping them a mere couple of inches apart on the mattress. He leaned forward preparing to kiss Scott only to feel Scott turn his head to the side offering up his neck instead.

“Slim?” Logan questioned using one hand to tilt Scott’s face up towards his again. He dipped down once more, attempting to bring them together in a kiss as Scott arched his head back, exposing his neck to Logan. After a couple more attempts, Logan frowned reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face, forcing Scott to look up at him again, “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned quietly. He shifted beneath Logan attempting to coax Logan into bypassing any questions that might be on his mind, but Logan found himself even more focused in the moment.

“What are you doing?” Logan asked unable to quell the nagging thoughts that carried over him.

“We’re going to fuck,” Scott answered with a trembling lower lip, “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“I do,” Logan sighed contemplating how close he’d come to making his fantasy a reality, “but…”

“What?” Scott questioned apprehensively.

“Nothing,” Logan decided leaning forward attempting to claim Scott’s lips in an eager kiss, but before he could follow through, Scott let out a tiny whimper refusing to meet him halfway.

“Don’t,” Scott pleaded in a pained breath, “please don’t make it something more than it needs to be.”

“What do you mean?” Logan frowned.

“You don’t have to kiss me Logan,” Scott explained with a grimace, “It doesn’t need to happen for us to enjoy this. It’ll just complicate things.”

“Why can’t we do this?” Logan questioned feeling the gut-wrenching sting of what Scott was saying to him. Stroking the side of Scott’s face, Logan watched as Scott released a pained breath—his body shuddering with something Logan couldn’t quite read when Scott stiffened beneath him.

“We are doing this,” Scott promised wiggling against the hold that Logan had upon his wrists. He tried to break free, to find momentum in his movement, but when it proved futile, Scott let out a long, uneasy sigh, “I asked you to fuck me.”

“I know what you asked for,” Logan replied reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face all over again, “but I’m also aware of what we both need.”

“Logan,” Scott practically yelped, crumbling to pieces at the touch. He bit down on his lower lip, stifling the whimper that rose in the back of his throat at the tenderness of Logan’s touch, “don’t.”

“Why not?” Logan slurred reaching down between them to massage Scott’s thigh. The slow, building movement caused Scott to cry out, shifting beneath Logan when Logan’s touch centered in over his slacks.

“Because that complicates things,” Scott revealed with a whimper, twisting as Logan opened the button on Scott’s slacks. With a few adjustments, he worked his palm inside of the material, massaging Scott’s warm body.

“Maybe I’m looking for a new complication,” Logan suggested leaning down to nip at the side of Scott’s neck. Without another word, he pushed at the material of Scott’s slacks, attempting to coax Scott out of them with his touch. When it seemed Scott was unresponsive, Logan pulled back searching his features once again, “What’s wrong?”

“I just…I just…don’t want…” Scott struggled to get the words out.

“What?” Logan questioned feeling Scott stiffen beneath him on the blanket.

“I don’t want to get used to this only to have it end for us,” Scott answered painfully, “I don’t want to feel something only to have it ripped away because if it means something more…”

“I’m not going away anytime soon,” Logan promised dipping down to hover over Scott’s lips once again, “Trust me Slim….”

“I can’t even trust myself,” Scott divulged with a whimper, caught up in something that Logan fought to understand. When it seemed that Scott was struggling for control, Logan arched back, sliding up onto his knees on the edge of the bed simply staring down at Scott on the mattress.

“What do you want?” Logan questioned with a frown.

“Something I can never have. I just…I want this to be enough right now,” Scott half pleaded with him. Sitting upright, he twisted his hips, pulling his slacks down over his bottom. Wordlessly he pushed his slender frame up off the mattress, rotating his hips just enough to send his slacks down over his thighs. Tilting his head up he looked to Logan, catching the expression on Logan’s face as Scott sat on the center of the bed with jeans around his thighs and his arousal caged beneath his blue briefs. When Logan refused to make a move, Scott’s lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl, “Can’t this be enough?”

“I don’t know,” Logan’s gaze lingered over Scott, catching the way that the moonlight from the window cascaded into the room drawing emphasis to Scott’s sleek, muscular form. Underneath the moonlight, he was beautiful with skin almost glowing underneath the pale, warmth the light provided against the contrast of the storm, “I want it to be, but…”

“Don’t overthink it,” Scott shifted on the blankets, rising onto his knees to crawl across the mattress. Reaching out to slide his arms around Logan’s shoulders, he offered up a small squeeze pressing his head against Logan’s shoulder. Wordlessly, he hugged Logan, while positioning his head into the place between Logan’s neck and shoulder, pressing a tender kiss over Logan’s pulse point. The sensation caused ripples of desire to wash over Logan’s body, cutting him to the core. His arms surrounded Scott’s lean form, with palms sliding up and down over his spine, crushing Scott in closer to him, guiding Scott to lean into him—to welcome Logan’s embrace.

“Please let it be enough,” Scott begged, holding Logan tighter than before. His hair tickled over Logan’s shoulder, hands reaching out to slide over the muscular planes of Logan’s spine, squeezing and pressing into his heated flesh.

“It’s enough,” Logan moaned sensing Scott’s concern for what was happening between them. Wordlessly, he eased his right hand down into the back of Scott’s blue briefs, reaching out to squeeze at the taut, muscular flesh before him. It caused Scott to whimper and moan, rubbing his warm, excited skin against Logan’s chest. Closing his eyes Logan took in the scent of Scott, felt the warmth of Scott’s sleek body, over his, rubbing in against his chest, with Scott on his knees, kissing at Logan’s shoulder, up over the side of his neck. His hands were lightly scratching over Logan’s spine, silently begging him to continue as Logan’s palms kneaded at Scott’s bottom. With each squeeze, Scott whimpered rubbing up against Logan again and again.

“I want you,” Scott divulged repeatedly, guiding his hands down over Logan’s hips, rounding out over Logan’s bottom to cup and squeeze him in closer. His fingers stretched out, fanning over Logan’s firm, muscular flesh causing Logan to reciprocate the movement—to gently part Scott’s flesh, seeking out the heat of his bottom with the curl of his thick fingers. The movement caused Scott to shift and twist, grinding up against Logan. With the damp slide of Scott’s lips over Logan’s shoulder, Logan moaned, dipping his index finger into the crease of Scott’s bottom, allowing the warmth of Scott to carry over him, into him with each exploratory touch.

“I want you too, Slim.”

“Logan,” Scott moaned his name, shifting on the mattress, up on his knees matching Logan’s movement.

“Scott,” Logan whispered seeking out Scott’s opening and finding himself pleasantly rewarded by the soft moan that rolled over Scott’s lips into his shoulders. With a gentle tease, Logan circled and pressed, carefully easing the tip of his finger in against Scott’s body, testing the resilient flesh beneath his touch. When Scott whimpered and moaned, Logan’s pulse quickened, his head dropping down to bite at Scott’s shoulder, desperate to feel a connection between them. For a moment, his mind returned to kissing, to tasting Scott’s beautiful mouth, delving into him and seeking out that thing he’d been missing, but knowing of Scott’s apprehension, Logan simply whispered in Scott’s ear in a firm, commanding tone, “Roll over and get on your knees.”

“Okay,” Scott readily agreed doing as Logan instructed. He twisted on the comforter, pushing himself up on his hands and knees, frozen in place held captive to his desire. His breathing was shallow, his body rigid as Logan crawled forward seizing Scott’s hips in a rough pull. Saying nothing, Logan pushed forward, grinding up against Scott’s brief covered bottom, allowing the slow slide of his arousal to guide warmth over Scott. With each movement, he felt Scott react to him, his body involuntarily flexing back to seek out more of Logan’s touch. Again, and again Logan ground up against Scott, taking his time to run his fingers over Scott’s spine, up and down his smooth, silken skin, slow and exploratory despite Scott’s hesitation. If he couldn’t have all he’d wanted, he’d sure as hell savor the experience, nice and leisurely despite Scott’s attempts at taking any feeling from the exchange.

Saying nothing, Logan pulled back, perched upon his knees watching as Scott remained frozen, awaiting Logan’s next command. Smiling, Logan reached out to drag his index finger down from Scott’s shoulders, sliding over his spine until finally he curled his finger over the elastic waistband of Scott’s briefs. With a teasing pull, he snapped it over Scott’s bottom causing the material to bounce against Scott’s skin.

“Logan…” Scott whined shifting on his knees preparing to say something to protest when Logan’s palm came down over Scott’s spine.

“Don’t move,” Logan instructed repeating the motion again in snapping the elastic. When Scott followed Logan’s direction remaining perfectly still, a wide smirk carried over Logan’s features. Instead of teasing him further, Logan pushed his finger in beneath the elastic allowing the light scraping of his nail to tease over Scott’s skin, rounding over his hip and dipping further into his briefs until Logan’s palm was surrounding Scott’s arousal. With a firm grip, he began to stroke Scott underneath his briefs, allowing the slow slide of his fingers to take Scott from his reservations to temptation, growing increasingly harder at Logan’s touch.

“Please,” Scott begged, sliding his hips forward against Logan’s touch, offering himself to the weight of Logan’s palm surrounding him, up and down, gripping tighter from base to tip, thumb circling the head of Scott’s arousal, gently rubbing over the sensitive skin.

“Tell me again that you want me,” Logan leaned forward pressing a kiss over the back of Scott’s shoulder. He reached down to the back of Scott’s briefs with his free hand, stretching the elastic once again, pulling it in a tight stretch away from his skin.

“I want you,” Scott moaned stilling his movements when Logan tugged harder at the back of Scott’s briefs, pulling them up and away from Scott’s body. A moment later, Logan released the material causing it to bounce against Scott’s bottom in a snapping movement. Whimpering Scott dropped his head forward, listening to the slow slide of Logan’s claws emerging from his hand.

“I want you too,” Logan assured him, bringing his hand back just enough to keep from allowing himself to bleed on Scott. Once he was satisfied with the state of his claws, he carefully pressed the tip over Scott’s briefs, sliding from the top of the elastic down over the crease in Scott’s bottom with surgical precision slicing the material in half. Once he was satisfied with the tear, Logan pulled back taking the time to retract his claws and look at the tattered material before him. Smiling he leaned down pressing a tender kiss over Scott’s spine. With tiny, fluttering kisses over Scott’s back, he continued to leave a damp path over Scott’s flesh tracing his tongue over the soft curve of Scott’s body, bent forward and awaiting Logan’s touch. Wordlessly, he pushed his index finger inside of the sliced briefs, touching Scott in ways that they’d both longed for. When Scott shifted beneath him, Logan withdrew his fingers ceasing the touch again, opting to crawl off the bed and reach for his jeans.

“Logan?” Scott questioned impatiently.

“Give me a second,” Logan pleaded collecting the things he’d picked up from the machine in the men’s room at the bar. Moments later he was kneeling behind Scott peeling the tattered briefs away from his bottom in a reckless tear. Before Scott could question it further, Logan tore open he package of lubrication, pouring some out onto his hand before reaching out to Scott. He parted Scott’s flesh, pushing his index finger in against Scott’s opening again, brushing and teasing, circling and sweeping until finally Logan pressed forward guiding his finger into Scott’s opening. The sensation caused Scott to dip forward, an urgent breath escaping his lips when Logan’s free hand circled around Scott’s waist to collect Scott’s manhood in his palm. With each movement Logan’s finger made inside of Scott’s warmth, his other hand surrounded Scott distracting him in his teasing until Logan had two fingers pumping inside of Scott, working their way at just the right angle to cause Scott to thrust forward whimpering with awareness at what Logan had sparked inside of him.

“Feel good?” Logan questioned leaning forward to kiss the back of Scott’s neck.

“Yeah,” Scott nodded speaking up behind gritted teeth. He twisted his hips, shifting on the blankets, spreading his knees out further with each movement Logan made inside of him, carefully opening him up with each skilled caress.

“We’ve never done this before,” Logan pondered aloud catching his answer in Scott’s reaction. With each touch it was clear that Scott was experiencing something different than he had before—with every movement and whimper it was clear that Logan was opening the door to temptation in ways Scott had only thought about. The first time around for Logan it had been wild and intense, anything but slow for him and Scott in another life, but in this one he could right the wrongs he’d made before he’d arrived.

“Obviously,” Scott let out a nervous laugh breaking through Logan’s thoughts when Logan ceased movement inside of Scott.

“And you’ve never…?” Logan couldn’t help, but question pressing into Scott again with a slow, exploratory touch over Scott’s prostate.

“Are we really having this conversation now?” Scott asked shaking his head and moaning when Logan touched him, “Why spoil this with…?”

“Indulge me,” Logan murmured leaning forward to press a kiss over Scott’s shoulder.

“If you have to ask, then we’re going about this all wrong,” Scott teased attempting to deflect Logan’s questioning, yet failing to conceal the truth when Logan’s touch caused him to shift on the blankets in a jerking movement. He bit down on his lower lip, simply keeping his face forward as Logan prepared him for what was to follow.

“You won’t regret this,” Logan promised kissing Scott’s shoulder again and again. His arms wrapped around Scott’s body, bracing himself over Scott’s spine to keep them connected. As he eased forward, he placed a small kiss over Scott’s shoulder. Rising on his knees, Logan looked at Scott before him, ready and waiting, his for the taking when Logan reached for the condom package. He tore it open, quickly preparing himself before sliding in over Scott again. Bringing one arm around Scott’s waist, he held Scott close to him, squeezing them together while his other hand steadied his body, carefully guiding his condom covered tip to Scott’s opening. Leaning forward, he bit down on Scott’s shoulder, sinking his teeth roughly into Scott’s flesh and causing him to whimper. A moment later he pressed forward, guiding his thick body into Scott, sliding past the restrictive muscle with more patience than he thought he was capable of. The sensation caused Scott to whimper and twist, practically falling forward when Logan’s arm surrounded him, keeping him steady on his knees.

“You’re doing great,” Logan whispered kissing the back of Scott’s neck, doing his best to keep Scott in the moment. With a slow press, Logan worked his length inside of Scott stretching and filling him. He took great liberties to ensure that Scott would feel good about it, that he would simply immerse himself in sensation as Logan’s arm squeezed around Scott’s waist with fingers trailing down to collect Scott’s arousal, pumping over it in a moment of distraction until finally Logan’s hips were pressed up against Scott’s bottom. He felt Scott shift beneath him saying nothing about their connection. For a moment Logan almost forgot to breathe, caught up in the warmth of Summers surrounding him, hot and welcoming, apprehensive and wanting to prove himself in the moment.

“You’re beautiful Slim,” Logan slurred kissing Scott’s shoulder again and again while allowing his hips to bring forth the first sense of movement in Scott. With each movement, Scott whimpered and moaned, lowering his head and focusing on sensation immersing himself in it, focusing on Logan inside of him, pushing forward and drawing back taking them to new heights with one another.

“Harder,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, shaking beneath Logan when it seemed that the painstaking pace Logan had taken wasn’t enough for him.

“Slim, I just want to make sure that…” Logan frowned feeling Scott twist beneath him.

“You promised me that you’d fuck me,” Scott reminded him growing impatient at Logan’s careful consideration.

“Fine,” Logan finally conceded pushing up off Scott’s spine opting instead to grip at Scott’s hips, squeezing roughly. His hips plummeted forward, sending his length in and out of Scott, pumping harder with each thrust, rough and wild when Scott began to buck back against him, attempting to take him all in.

“Harder,” Scott pleaded twisting his fingers in the blankets, pushing back against Logan, hips grinding and twisting, carelessly attempting to take control of their movements, to find his own rhythm as Logan gave into instinct, gripping at Scott’s hips harder than before. His fingers twisted, undoubtedly leaving marks in Scott’s skin with the fluid movement between them growing in frequency, each thrust increasing in urgency until Logan was pounding into Scott, no longer holding back in his approach. Instead he was a slave to his desire, wild and reckless, gripping onto his new lover and holding on with all the pent-up desire he’d kept locked away for years without Scott in his life. With thrust after pounding thrust, he buried himself in Scott, lost in sensation, overtaken by the scent of desire, by the sound of Scott’s pleading, begging him for more in giving back as good as he got, again and again with the intensity building.

“Scott,” Logan moaned his name, not sure where he ended, and Scott began when the pounding of his heart and the frequency of his movements finally caught up to him. His palm surrounded Scott’s length in a tight sheath, coaxing Scott to arch into him, to pump his flesh into Logan’s hand, caught up in the expert grip Logan had on him. With Logan’s body reaching deep inside of him, drawing forth sensation after pleasurable sensation, Scott cried out, tensing up beneath Logan before a series of shudders and shakes overtook him guiding him from their union to a wave of orgasm. His body tightened reflexively, head dropping forward as he spilled himself into Logan’s hand causing Logan to pick up the pace inside of him—working to free himself from desire. He thrust again and again, letting out a low roar when he stretched out over Scott’s back biting his shoulder roughly when he came undone in violent jerking movements inside of his lover spilling himself repeatedly in the man he’d been convinced at one time he’d spend the rest of his life without.


	8. In Another Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan returns to a place in his mind where his life with Scott was once very different from what it is in this new world he's found himself in.

** In Another Life **

**Memories:** something remembered from the past; a recollection.

The sound of the alarm clock buzzing caused Logan to snap out of his slumber with a jolt. Immediately he sprung upright on the mattress feeling the warmth of sunlight filtering into the room around him. His breath was coming out in heavy gasps, his mind surrounded by dreams of darkness and torture as the incessant buzzing continued to throb in the back of his mind. Turning to look to the empty side of the bed, he discovered the damned alarm clock he’d grown to despise blinking beside him offering up an annoying reality check to the world waiting beyond the walls of his bedroom. With a huff, he fell back onto the mattress closing his eyes again and waiting for the damned beeping to stop. When it seemed that it’s endless series of buzzing and beeping would serve to haunt him until he fell into submission, Logan let out a low roar. Bringing his hand up, he curled his fingers into a fist and allowed his claws to extend no doubt staining the sheets when he reached out to slash at the cheap, drug store clock that he’d picked up less than a week ago.

“Much better,” Logan smirked behind closed eyelids when the invasive sound faded leaving him to the warmth of the wonderful morning of slumber that he had ahead of him. He stretched his legs out preparing to immerse himself in another round of erotic dreams when he heard the faint sound of buzzing to his left.

“Go away,” Logan grumbled reaching for the empty pillow beside him. He brought it up over his face using it as a tool for blocking out the world, but when it proved to be nothing more than an annoyance to him, he tossed the pillow across the room. Reopening his eyes, Logan looked to the nightstand closest to his side of the bed. There on top of the pristine wood dresser creating all the noise was always the obnoxious cell phone that Marie had insisted that Logan keep with him. It served as a tether always keeping Logan at everyone else’s beck and call when he grudgingly reached out to pull it from the nightstand. Unlike the alarm clock, this one cost a bit more as Marie had picked out a model with a bunch of bells and whistles along with a damned annoying alert system in it that now caused the phone to buzz and dance across the top of the wood.

“Damn it,” Logan grumbled reaching for the phone to silence the alarm that he was almost completely certain that Scott had put on it when Logan wasn’t looking. Now as he groggily stared at the screen, he noticed that there was a text from Scott written in big, bold letters.

STAFF MEETING AT 8. DON’T BE LATE THIS TIME!

“Right,” Logan groaned twisting onto his side and tossing his phone over his shoulder onto the opposite side of the bed. He reached up for his pillow punching it momentarily before curling up underneath his sheets once again. Closing his eyes tightly he attempted to go back to sleep when there was another buzzing sound on the pillow beside him.

“If I get one more stupid text…” Logan grumbled clumsily reaching for his phone. He shuffled to hold it up in front of him. Squinting his eyes, he attempted to focus on the screen when the text on the screen served to infuriate him further.

YOU’RE LATE! GET OUT OF BED NOW!

“Whatever,” Logan muttered preparing to ignore the text when he found himself thinking about the compromise that he’d made the night before. Shaking his head, he realized that it was time to turn a new leaf—to at least try to do what was expected of him when he pushed off the blankets and spent the next few minutes grudgingly making his way down to Chuck’s office to participate in his newfound duty as a staff member at the school. Throwing open the door to Chuck’s office he noticed the others seated in a circle, listening to whatever curriculum plan Ororo was working through when Charles looked up from behind his desk.

“Good morning Logan,” Charles greeted him with a nod and a polite smile, “Nice of you to join us.”

“You’re only half an hour late. Nice to see you’ve been practicing punctuality Logan,” Scott’s agitated voice spoke up making no qualms about his irritation at Logan’s tardy arrival.

“Sorry I’m late,” Logan half-heartedly apologized as he surveyed the room around him, “My alarm wasn’t working this morning.”

“Of course,” Charles nodded accordingly leaving no room for Logan to expand upon his lie. Judging by the expression on Chuck’s face, Logan figured Chuck knew he was full of shit as well as Logan shuffled around the room looking for a place to take a seat for the duration of the meeting.

“So, as I was saying,” Ororo spoke up impatiently when Logan weaved through the office, haphazardly knocking things around in his attempt to move into a seat.

“Don’t mind me,” Logan held his hand up in the air apologetically. He looked around the room spotting a chair over by the window where the kids were outside playing basketball. It seemed like a good enough spot for distraction, but just as soon as he prepared to cross the office, he knocked something off one of the end tables by the couch causing Ororo to let out an impatient huff.

“Sorry,” Logan blurted out preparing to reach for it when Charles momentarily froze time leaving him and Logan alone to deal with the situation Logan had created.

“Rough night last night Logan?” Charles questioned with a crease in his brow. His tone was that of concern when Logan stood up taller looking to the vase Charles had prevented from falling. It hung midair in the room serving as a reminder of his mentor’s powers.

“Same as always,” Logan replied in a neutral tone. He looked around the room catching the frozen expressions of his colleagues. Taking in a breath, he ran his fingers over the side of his leg attempting to quell the nervousness in his stomach before speaking up again, “Nothing out of the norm.”

“You’re sure about that?” Charles eyed him suspiciously, “I know how hard things have been for you since Jean’s passing. You and I haven’t talked much about it, but…”

“I’m fine,” Logan glanced over at Scott, taking in his perfect posture and his neatly pressed clothing. He looked as if he was untouched by the world around him, the same uptight, unilaterally focused prick that he’d always been, but everyone with eyes knew that he’d been falling to pieces since that moment when Jean had left him. For a second, Logan found his thoughts returning to that time in the jet when Jean had sacrificed herself for them, but almost as soon as the thought consumed him, he returned to the present pushing the thought out of his mind in favor of turning his attention to Charles, “Just a slow start I guess. I didn’t mean to be late.”

“It’s quite alright. You’ll get used to the schedule as time goes on,” Charles offered up sympathetically, “Things will fall into place for you soon Logan.”

“I hope so,” Logan replied stealing a brief glance over at Scott once again. Tension coiled over his body, building up in the pit of his stomach as he found himself wondering what the others would think of him if they knew the truth behind his thoughts and actions. Taking in a breath, he reminded himself that he needed to push his focus elsewhere—that he had to stay focused on the task Charles had given him when he looked to the vase again seeing that it was still frozen mid-movement. Clearing his throat, Logan looked to Charles once again, “I’m good.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Charles nodded accordingly. When Logan found himself at a loss, not sure how to respond Charles spoke up once again.

“Take a seat over by Scott after you pick the vase up Logan,” Charles suggested nodding over to the small opening on the cushion beside where Scott was seated.

“Right,” Logan cleared his throat reaching for the vase and grabbing it before Charles resumed the moment between them. Triumphantly Logan held the vase up in the air waving it in a victory salute before setting it back on top of the table again.

“Where were we?” Charles politely smiled over at Ororo once again. She seemed to take his encouragement as a sign to continue as she worked her way through numbers and began to recount her plans for the new curriculum.

“Excuse me,” Logan whispered pushing through the room and dropping down beside Scott. He plopped down on the couch crushing into Scott with the movement. When he sank down on Scott’s hip, Scott wiggled to the right attempting to keep a safe space between them.

“Personal space Logan,” Scott grumbled shaking his head at him with obvious distain.

“That’s right. I forgot you were the hall monitor of the group. Don’t get your panties in a bunch…Cyclops,” Logan groaned rolling his eyes at Scott’s words.

“The least you could’ve done was shown up on time,” Scott spoke up in a muted tone.

“Are you going to give me a slap on the wrist or a detention for being tardy?” Logan wiggled his brow suggestively, watching as the color rose in Scott’s cheeks. Despite his cool resolve, his face was now a pale crimson shade indicating that Logan’s words had sparked a reaction in him.

“You’d like that too much,” Scott scoffed with a thick air of sarcasm in his tone, “Try to be on time in the future.”

“I guess you could say that I got a little caught up in what I was doing last night,” Logan mouthed attempting to keep his volume down. He noticed the way that Scott’s lips curved downward in a tight grimace before he spoke up again with amusement in his tone, “It might’ve been a bit of a hangover that kept me in bed a little bit longer since it was a rough one for me. I had a really hot night at the bar that got me a little too fired up and…”

“I don’t care,” Scott mouthed impatiently scribbling something down on his paper in his lap, “You had plenty of reminders what time the meeting started.”

“What can I say? I picked up this sexy number at the bar that rocked my world last night,” Logan leaned in closer to Scott to whisper in his ear, “The things that mouth could do were out of this world fantastic and…”

“What’s that Logan?” Charles questioned looking up from his position behind the desk.

“I was just telling Scott that I think it’s fantastic how organized everyone is with these meetings,” Logan cleared his throat and looked around the room, “It’s very impressive to see how all of this works in a staff meeting.”

“It’s always worked this way Logan,” Scott grumbled in response allowing the world to see how irritated he was with Logan’s interruptions.

“Yeah…yeah. Right, sure it does,” Logan waved his hand around in the air, “but I’ve never really been able to take part in one of these meetings before. I spent a lot of time on the outside, but now that I’m here in the inner circle…”

“Let’s see how long it takes you to screw it up,” Scott mouthed offhandedly.

“Scott,” Ororo frowned at the abrasiveness in Scott’s tone, “This is Logan’s first official meeting as a staffer, and we should give him a little bit of gratitude for his willingness to step up and help us with our upcoming year when…”

“Thanks Ro,” Logan mouthed flashing her a grateful smirk, “I’m glad someone is thrilled to have me here.”

“We’re all happy to have you with us,” Charles added issuing Scott a warning look. When it seemed the silent warning that Charles offered Scott hit home with Scott, another silence surrounded the room leading to Ororo talking about her budgetary concerns for the upcoming year.

“And what was that number again?” Scott questioned ignoring Logan’s presence on the sofa beside him. He had a pen in hand and a folder with some loose papers on top of it that he was writing on when Ororo answered his question with a bright smile. Her words were lost on Logan, however, as he looked to Scott beside him wearing a pristine crimson colored turtleneck shirt and a pair of dark slacks looking every bit as proper as Logan had ever seen him. He had a neutral expression on his face and from what Logan could tell, his focus was entirely on Ororo. When it seemed that Scott was hanging on her every word, Logan couldn’t help, but roll his eyes wondering why in the hell they even bothered to have Logan at the meetings.

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Charles spoke up encouragingly before looking around the room, “Anyone else?”

Soon after another staff member spoke up and Logan found himself completely bored with the situation wondering when he could just get back to a class or perhaps a much-deserved breakfast waiting outside of the office. Shifting on the couch, he heard the leather cushion squeak beneath his weight before he felt the eyes of the room on him again. Clearing his throat, he held his hand up in the air apologetically, “Sorry.”

Frowning Logan folded his arms in front of his chest looking around the room and observing the rest of the staff caught up in their normal day to day routine. While he’d been there for a while sticking around and proving his place at the school, there were still so many ways he was an outsider. He’d tried to settle in—hell, he’d wanted to fit in simply because he knew it would make things easier especially after they’d lost Jean, but now in watching everyone go around the room talking about their plans for the upcoming semester, Logan found himself wondering if he’d ever really fit into the role of an educator. The more he thought about it, the less he found himself settled by the idea knowing full well he was unlike any of the other staff members Chuck had taken on. That put him at a disadvantage when he found himself caught up in his thoughts pondering sneaking in a cigar or a beer before the day was over. However, before he could get too caught up in the idea of indulging, he found himself being nudged by Scott’s leg bumping into his in their cramped quarters. At first, he’d ignored it, pretending to be engrossed in whatever budget was being talked about, but when he looked down he discovered that Scott’s folder of papers splayed over his lap with Scott’s pen across the top page, pointed at Scott’s hastily scribbled words. Looking over to Scott, Logan realized that Scott was still focused on Charles, hanging on his every word when Logan looked down to the writing on the page before him.

**_Music history lesson tonight?_ **

Fighting to suppress a grin Logan looked at the question, rereading it a few times before he reached for Scott’s pen. He tipped his head up seeing that Charles was focused on the others in the room not really paying attention to him and Scott when Logan quickly scribbled an answer on the page.

**_Jazz. Tonight. After your last class? Same place?_ **

Logan questioned in writing pushing the page over towards Scott once again. For a brief, flickering hint of a moment Scott seemed to glance at the page, giving it a momentary perusal, scribbling something upon it before he reached for the rest of the pages. He shuffled them back into his lap before reaching for his pen. He replied to a question that Charles had for him about what his curriculum looked like going into a bout of statistics and pulling out a few pages of charts to hand out to his other staff members. When Scott made his rounds to the others getting up and offering them copies of his charts, Logan stretched out on the couch making more room for himself until Scott stood before him impatiently holding out a package of papers he’d put together and stapled for him.

“This is for you,” Scott’s voice carried with it the same agitation that everyone in the room had come to expect from them when they were with one another. With a huff, Scott held out the pages again, pushing them into Logan’s palm before making his way over to the other side of the couch placing a greater distance between them. When he sat down beside Logan, Scott went into a round of explaining his agenda hoping that the others would take to what he was saying. To Logan, it was over his head, but as he pretended to consider what Scott was saying, he noticed a footnote in Scott’s handwriting on the bottom of the page he was looking at.

**_Looking forward to it._ **

xxxxx

“The jazz music isn’t fooling anyone,” Scott’s laughter surrounded Logan’s ears pulling Logan back to earth with the warmth of Scott’s lean, muscular form snuggled back into Logan’s chest over the center of Logan’s bed. With damp beads of perspiration cooling over his smooth skin, Scott seemed to settle in against Logan with Logan’s right arm around Scott’s hip keeping him close. Logan’s left arm was draped over the center of Scott’s chest intertwining their bodies long after their passion had expired. Still half hard and inside of Scott, Logan made no attempt to move, rather staying still to hold onto the moment a few seconds longer when Scott reached for Logan’s hand upon his chest. He pulled at Logan’s wrist guiding Logan’s fingers up to his lips. With a warm breath, Scott began pressing tiny kisses over Logan’s knuckles savoring their connection when another carefree laugh spilled over Scott’s plump, parted lips, “I think it’s clear to everyone what we’re doing when we come in here and you turn that music on.”

“I didn’t think we were foolin’ anyone not even at your precious staff meeting this morning. Chuck didn’t say anything, but we both know he wasn’t buying it,” Logan teased pressing a damp kiss over the back of Scott’s neck. He could feel Scott’s skin ignite at the touch. Goosebumps formed over his flesh with each flick of Logan’s tongue upon his warm skin, “Plus, the point of the jazz is to put you in the mood and drown out the delicious moans that fall from your lips when you’re about to fall to pieces.”

“Oh please,” Scott laughed lightly. He reflexively began wiggling his bottom in a movement that caused Logan’s healing factor to kick into overdrive, “you’re the one who is so loud that you had Marie thinking you were having another nightmare the last time we were up here ‘listening to jazz’ with one another.”

“Keep moving that way and everyone will hear that particular album again very soon,” Logan reached down between them, reluctantly sliding out over Scott’s body. He looked down between them taking in the perfect lines of Scott’s rounded flesh, calling to him like a siren song when his hand returned to Scott’s hip. With a nudge and a curl of his arm, he coaxed Scott to lay in against him, sliding over his chest when their bodies were connected in another, more intimate fashion.

“Your healing factor is incredible, but even this,” Scott’s fingers tickled at Logan’s hip when amusement carried over his tone, “is too soon for you.” 

“It’s too soon for you,” Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face. Coaxing Scott to look up at him again behind his glasses, Logan stroked the hollow of Scott’s cheekbone, “I could go for hours on end inside of you…” 

“Is that a challenge you’re about to issue me?” Scott’s flirty smile was enough to cause Logan’s body to ignite with desire, caught up in the perfect specimen of man before him. 

“You can’t keep up with me Slim. No matter how much you wish you could, my healing factor puts me at a distinct advantage,” Logan slurred moving to kiss Scott tenderly. As his lips caressed Scott’s plump flesh, Scott’s mouth opened wider inviting Logan inside of him with an intimate, erotic kiss. 

“Watch me,” Scott’s words buzzed over Logan’s mouth straining to keep the connection going between them when Logan reluctantly pulled back. 

“I’ll take you up on that in a little bit, but for now…” Logan pushed his fingers into Scott’s damp hair, “how about we just take the time to focus on how incredible you are?” 

“How incredible I am,” Scott repeated bringing his hand up over the center of Logan’s forehead with a laugh, “You’re insulting me in the staff meeting and then giving me complements now. Are you feeling feverish? Perhaps we could call in a healer to see if you’ve been put under a spell by an enemy of ours.” 

“Very funny,” Logan teased shaking his head as his arms surrounded Scott’s waist. Wordlessly he flipped Scott on the mattress again so that Logan was now hovering over him with eager intent, “Oh the things you do to me Summers. You make me hot in ways I never imagined possible before you entered my life.” 

“You mean before I infuriated you, lost my cool, told you to blow me and then tricked you into falling for me,” Scott wiggled a suggestive brow.

“The blow me part was kind of inspired,” Logan teased tickling at Scott’s ribs and causing him to twist on the mattress beneath him, “That kind of set the wheels in motion, don’t you think?”

“Only you would return to that as a good starting point for us,” Scott laughed lightly as the weight of the tension that carried over him after Jean’s passing now seemed to taper off into something else entirely. With Scott’s hands on Logan’s spine, holding him closer Scott arched up off the mattress to meet Logan’s mouth in a brief, chaste kiss, “Admit it you’re addicted to me Logan.”

“For all the hassle you’ve been,” Logan cracked a small grin. Unable to contain himself he touched the side of Scott’s face memorizing every line of his perfectly sculpted features, “It’s possible that you might be growing on me.”

“I’ll show you growing,” Scott moved in closer bringing his lips a breath away from Logan’s. His fingers traced over the lines of Logan’s chest, sliding down over his muscled abdomen only to taper off over Logan’s hip, “Face it you can’t get enough of me.”

“I’d be a fool to try to deny it,” Logan conceded kissing Scott again with a newfound hunger inside of him. He felt the press of Scott’s thighs around his solid, muscular waist pulling Logan in over him before the warmth of Scott’s breath carried over Logan’s lips.

“Then don’t even try,” Scott slurred against Logan’s mouth kissing him with a newfound hunger. His hands were roaming wildly over Logan’s body, sliding up and over his shoulders, leading down over his spine before Scott offered up a soft moan.

“Is that a direct order?” Logan questioned reluctantly pulling himself away from the kiss to look at Scott once again.

“What do you think?” Scott replied wiggling his brow suggestively.

“That you’re still buzzing from those margaritas you decided to make for our music history lesson tonight and thinking that somehow you can use this situation to your advantage,” Logan teased dipping down to nip at Scott’s plump, bottom lip once again.

“I stopped being buzzed hours ago,” Scott sighed squeezing his fingers into Logan’s shoulder, “I’m fully cohesive at the moment.”

“In that case perhaps we should stop talking and focus more on kissing,” Logan suggested claiming Scott’s mouth in another ravenous kiss. It caused Scott’s legs to squeeze tighter around Logan’s waist, his hands roaming wildly over Logan’s body encouraging the rough groping that Logan was doing over Scott’s hips. His hands were sliding in beneath Scott’s bottom to guide Scott up towards him in a clumsy, rocking movement, grinding their bodies together as their lips parted once again. When Logan’s forehead pressed in against Scott’s savoring the warmth of Scott’s skin, Scott let out a long sigh. 

“I love you, you know,” Scott blurted out in a light, playful declaration, but there was no denying the sentiment behind his words as Logan pulled back. 

“What?” Logan questioned looking down at Scott again. 

“I said I love you,” Scott’s fingers teased over the broad expanse of Logan’s shoulders.

“You…” Logan stammered struggling to find the words to respond to Scott’s declaration.

“Love you,” Scott laughed in an uncharacteristic moment of ease on the center of Logan’s bed. His goofy grin expanded revealing a lightness to his declaration that felt foreign to the moment between them. Shaking his head, Scott settled back into the pillow before letting out a small sigh of what Logan could almost swear was relief, “I know I don’t say things like that often enough, but in this time we’ve spent together after losing Jean, well it has given me plenty of time for reflection. More than I care to admit to, but if nothing else I see now that time is precious. I was thinking about this last night when we were at the bar—about how this year has changed so much for the both of us. So many things have been up in the air between us, but there’s been one thing that has remained growing stronger as time has passed.”

“Scott…” Logan began watching as Scott seemed to be filled with enthusiasm that seldom spread throughout his features the way it did as he lay on the center of Logan’s bed naked and brazen in his declarations.

“We’ve evolved so much since we first found one another,” Scott reached for Logan once again.

“We have,” Logan agreed feeling the weight of Scott’s words fall upon him.

“I mean it Logan,” Scott touched the side of his face, hoping to reach out to him, “So many things have changed, but the one thing I’ve come to realize is that life doesn’t wait for you to sort it out. In an instant everything could just slip away and when you find something special in your life, you should fight like hell to hold onto it.”

“In theory that sounds incredible Slim, but in real life things are messy and…,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown suddenly concerned about how close he and Scott had become. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it, but when it started things were so much different—so much more complicated when Scott was lost inside of his grief and mourning the loss of the woman he’d planned on marrying.

“Look,” Scott interrupted in an impassioned tone, “I know that it hasn’t been that long for us, but at the same time after thinking about how close we have become I just couldn’t keep going on without letting you know that I…” 

“Don’t say it,” Logan stiffened pulling away from Scott’s embrace. 

“Don’t say what?” Scott questioned as Logan placed his index finger over the center of Scott’s plump lips to silence him.

“Don’t say things that we’ll both live to regret,” Logan half pleaded watching as Scott’s flushed features seemed to sink with disappointment. As Logan removed his finger from the center of Scott’s lips, he opted to reach out and touch the side of Scott’s face, “We have a good thing going Scott, but you don’t have to give this some kind of title when we both know that…”

“Tell me you don’t feel it too,” Scott half pleaded when he reached out to Logan. He pushed his fingers into Logan’s damp, dark hair coaxing Logan to look down at him once again, “I know we’ve skirted around the issue for a while now especially given the way that we started, but this has evolved into something more. Surely, you must feel it Logan.”

“I’m not saying it hasn’t evolved between us. Things have been great…really great and it feels like from the moment we started this…thing…between us we’ve had some really good times,” Logan offered up taking in Scott’s words.

“Some of the best times of my life,” Scott blushed in the admission, “I know that I haven’t exactly been forthcoming about a lot of things in my life, but when we found one another I was in this dark place. I felt like my world was ending, drowning in the darkness, but there you were ready to pull me back into the light and…”

“We have come so far Slim. I’m not denying that, but at the same time Jeanie hasn’t been gone that long. I know what she meant to you and how hard this was in the beginning. I know you had your apprehensions and…”

“Losing her damn near killed me Logan, but having you in my life,” Scott began in the hopes of appealing to him once again, “You’ve brought me strength and support in ways that I never expected or anticipated when we first crossed paths. You’ve changed me in so many ways and…”

“I know it feels like that right now because things like tonight feel really good Slim, but I’m also aware of how tormented you were. You were lost after you lost her caught up in your head and you’ve been so tangled up inside,” Logan offered up stroking the side of Scott’s face, “I know how hard on you this has been and…”

“I’m not saying that it hasn’t, but at the same time, I’ve never felt as alive as I do when we’re together. As crazy as it sounds it’s the truth Logan,” Scott confessed in an impassioned tone, “I never imagined that I could feel this way again—about anything, but when we found one another…”

“Our pain gave us something to build on in losing her Scott,” Logan reminded him, “You were hurting, and I was…”

“There for me in ways that I never anticipated or expected, but now that you’re here with me,” Scott’s fingers curled over the back of Logan’s neck sending shivers of anticipation over his spine, “it’s changed me. In losing Jean I thought that my life was over—that there was no reason to go on any longer, but now that you’re here—that we’re here together, it is like this whole other part of the world has opened up to me and…”

“That’s your orgasm talking,” Logan teased dipping down to nibble on the side of Scott’s neck.

“No,” Scott laughed when Logan’s tongue tickled over his skin. He squirmed beneath Logan, wiggling in such a fashion that Logan found himself pushing up to gaze down at his lover flushed and smiling beneath him, “it’s my heart Logan. For so long I refused to open myself up to the possibility that there would be life after Jean—after loving her, but then you came into my world and you gave me something more. You gave me an alternative to the inevitable suffering that I was meant for. You gave me hope and reason, but most of all you gave me love Logan.”

“Scott…”

“I love you Logan and I know that you love me,” Scott blurted out in an impassioned tone, “Regardless of what you think is taking place here right now, there’s no denying what is happening between us. Hell, I don’t even want to.”

“What’s gotten into you right now?” Logan questioned watching Scott shift beneath him on the bed.

“I don’t know,” Scott admitted stroking the side of Logan’s face, “Maybe it’s that there’s this incredible weight that has been lifted from my shoulders in being able to face the truth. For so long I tried to hide from my emotions—to run from them because I was taught to contain them, but then you arrived and that changed for me. You refused to let me hide behind the wall I built around me. You forced me to face things that I swore I could ignore about who I am and what I want. You wouldn’t let me bury myself in duty and responsibility. You wouldn’t allow grief to overcome me and…”

“Scott, I’m glad that I could help you in your grief, but…”

“This isn’t about grief any longer and we both know that,” Scott spoke up firmly. His arms stretched out wrapping around Logan’s broad, muscular shoulders in the hopes of cajoling Logan into revealing the truth about his feelings for the younger man before him.

“Scott, I care about you,” Logan finally admitted behind clenched teeth. He gazed down at Scott’s lips imagining kissing them all over again when another more terrifying thought carried over him. Pulling back, Logan detangled himself from Scott’s arms before falling onto his side of the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Scott questioned turning onto his side and watching Logan closely, “Did I say something wrong? Was I overstepping in saying that…?”

“No,” Logan shook his head firmly. He turned onto his side so that he was facing Scott fully, “Scott…I appreciate what you’re saying, but at the same time there are so many things about me that…”

“That what?” Scott questioned with a wounded expression on his face, “You don’t feel it, do you?”

“It’s not that I don’t feel it, but rather…” Logan stopped himself feeling the weight of his words linger upon his lips, “There are things that you don’t know about me. There are situations that…”

“That what?”

“Scott,” Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face, “Everyone I let get close to me ends up dead. I’m an inevitable curse to those that love me. Any time I’ve opened myself up to love, I’ve lost it. Time and time again I’ve had it ripped away from me in the most devastating fashion and…”

“You won’t lose me Logan.”

“You can’t make promises like that especially when they are ones that you can’t keep,” Logan pulled away from Scott’s embrace. Sitting upright on the bed, Logan found himself thinking about the long history he’d put behind him, “You have no idea what the future can bring.”

“Maybe not, but I know what I’m feeling in the here and now,” Scott announced brazenly, “and I don’t want to run from it any longer. I don’t want to feel ashamed for craving you like I do. I don’t want to hide from my heart when…”

“Stop,” Logan cut him off abruptly, “just…stop right there Slim. You don’t want to keep talking like that right now.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t know what you’re saying,” Logan answered dismissively, “You’re still drunk from earlier. You aren’t thinking clearly.”

“For the first time in my life I’m sure that I am Logan,” Scott declared in an impassioned tone.

“No,” Logan shook his head and sighed, “You are coming off the grief you’re experiencing in losing Red. Right now, this might feel like love, but we both know that…”

“I know how I feel,” Scott reached out for him again only to feel Logan pull away from him.

“You don’t know what you’re feeling,” Logan argued with him, “How could you after everything that has happened? You only think that you’re feeling something more because you were lost without her. You were desperate for a connection and a way to erase the pain. I offered you a distraction and…”

“Why are you saying that?” Scott frowned when Logan sat up on his side of the bed, “Why are you being so cold about this? I just told you that I love you Logan and…”

“I’m not saying that this…thing between us isn’t good because it is,” Logan glanced over his shoulder at Scott once again, “It feels good and fuck, it feels great, but we both know that this is only happening because you lost her. If she was still in your life…”

“She’s gone, but we aren’t,” Scott half pleaded with him, “Logan, when this started, I was confused, but now…”

“You aren’t ready for any of this,” Logan dismissed Scott’s declaration of love. Reaching for the blankets he pushed them off of his damp skin, finding the strength to pull himself out of the bed they’d previously shared, “You think that your heart is guiding you in the right direction, but Slim lust is blinding you in this situation. I’m all sorts of wrong. I’m the last thing you need in your life and…”

“It’s a little late for that now,” Scott pouted from his position on the center of Logan’s bed. Sitting upright, Scott pushed his fingers through his damp, dark hair unabashedly naked and confused by Logan’s retreat, “You can’t tell me this is just the sex guiding us together.”

“Sex is a powerful motivator when it is as good as ours has been,” Logan threw his hands up in the air, “especially for two people who are hurting and…”

“That’s not it,” Scott frowned feeling the weight of Logan’s retreat, “Hell, maybe you don’t feel like I do, but the least you can do is not try to downplay it as something as superficial as physical attraction. This isn’t about losing Jean anymore.”

“Tell me that isn’t what had you drawn to me,” Logan countered with a scoff, “When we started this, we agreed that we’d keep it simple. We both said that was what we wanted.”

“There’s nothing simple about what we have,” Scott argued pulling himself out of Logan’s bed. Crossing the room, he moved in closer to Logan, “We might’ve promised that we would keep it on that level, but this stopped being about sex weeks ago. This became something more the moment that we stopped hiding from what was happening here.”

“Slim I…” Logan turned around to face him fully, “When I open my heart to the idea of love someone inevitably gets hurt.”

“I’ve already been hurt,” Scott reminded him.

“All the more reason why we shouldn’t jump into this,” Logan argued.

“It’s the reason why we should give into it. Being closed off from feeling anything is suffocating. It only brings misery and I’m tired of being miserable. Life is too short to keep holding back on what you want,” Scott argued with a laugh, “I never thought that I would be one to say this especially now, but knowing how close we are, why can’t we finally just give in to it? Why can’t we just embrace the gift we’ve been given?”

“Gift?” Logan repeated with a hollow laugh, “You think this is a gift Scott?”

“Of course, it is. It’s the second chance we both never anticipated finding again in our lives. It’s…” Scott spoke up in an impassioned tone.

“It’s a curse,” Logan pulled away from Scott, “All of it is cursed. It’s damned just like I am. Can’t you see that everything I touch crumbles to pieces? Even this…how long do you think it will be before I inevitably break your heart? I’m not a good man Scott. I’ve done horrible, wretched things and…”

“You’ve been here for me through it all and…”

“I tried to sleep with Jean before she died,” Logan threw his hands up in the air, “I betrayed you in trying to seduce her all because I was a cruel, heartless jerk who…”

“I know what you did, but that’s in the past. What we have now is…”

“Based on a lie,” Logan argued with him, “It’s been good Scott, but to try to make it something more especially now after everything you’ve been through is a mistake. If we bring feelings into this, it will inevitably end horribly for us. We both know that. If you were thinking clearly, you’d agree with me. You would see that you don’t want the complications that throwing love into the equation will bring for us.”

“Right,” Scott took a step away from Logan when the weight of Logan’s rejection started settling in, “Sure.”

“Scott…”

“No, it’s fine,” Scott looked around Logan’s room, clearly uncomfortable in his skin as he reached for one of the sheets on the bed. Wordlessly he walked around the room seeking out his things when the weight of Logan’s words sank in, “I get it.”

“Scott…”

“It was a mistake,” Scott pulled his clothing up in a bundle from the floor and into his arms. Holding it against his chest, he let out a pained sigh before turning away from Logan, “I’m sorry I said anything.”

“Scott I…” Logan watched Scott move away from the door preparing to leave the room when Logan’s heart sank in agony, “wait…”

“Forget it. It’s late and I have to take a shower,” Scott spoke up quietly. He kept Logan’s sheet draped around his waist, using it as a cover to keep him from revealing too much of himself to anyone who might be lurking in the hallway, “I have an early class in the morning and…”

“Slim…”

“Good night Logan,” Scott replied moving out of the room and leaving Logan to the weight of his condemning thoughts.

“Damn it,” Logan cursed thinking about all the promises he’d made to Jean and Charles about looking out for Scott. Every one of their requests had been invalidated by Logan’s urgency. Each time they’d warned him to put Scott first, he’d simply thought of himself bringing Scott into a world that would inevitably be the end of him. Logan knew as much as he thought about the chain of destruction that followed his path. So much of it had been hidden for so long, but fear and concern had kept him from following his heart—from doing the thing that he’d longed to do with the man who’d turned to him in his time of need. Time and time again he’d wanted to be honest with Scott—to share his truth with the man who’d come to him willingly, caught up in his grief and looking for a reprieve. It seemed that Scott had finally broke free from the burden of his grief, but instead of embracing Scott’s declaration with his heart, Logan had rebuffed him, behaving as if hearing Scott’s declaration of love hadn’t meant everything to him.

“Fuck,” Logan cursed realizing that his fears weren’t enough to keep him from the one thing that had truly brought happiness into his life after all the misery he’d been exposed to. His mind was consumed with fear, but his heart had grown with the one thing that he’d fought to keep far from his life. Armed with that knowledge Logan opened the door to his bedroom ready to stalk across the hallway to tell Scott just what he was feeling, but before he could follow through he discovered Scott standing outside of his door looking even more miserable than he’d been in his initial retreat.

“Logan I…” Scott began preparing to explain his presence when Logan marched forward, reaching out to wrap his right hand around the back of Scott’s neck. His left hand eased down over Scott’s hip, roughly tugging Scott in against his broad, muscular, hair-dusted chest in a tight embrace. The quickness of the movement caused Scott to gasp dropping his clothing on the floor outside of Logan’s door. With the movement the sheet slipped falling to Scott’s feet leaving him raw and exposed, open to any potential others passing by in the dimly lit hallway at the school.

“As wrong as it is, I fucking love you too Summers,” Logan growled claiming Scott’s mouth with an insatiable hunger, unable to hold back on the things he’d fought to contain in their time together. With each eager nip and tease, he felt Scott’s arms surround him, causing Logan to reach down to Scott’s bottom, curling underneath the plump, muscular curve and pulling Scott up in against his chest. Instinctually Scott’s legs curled around Logan’s waist, bringing them together skin to skin, chest to chest as their mouths met in a frantic, dueling display of want and desire, growing and expanding until they parted both breathless and broken by the kiss. Stepping back into the room, Logan twisted around the room, keeping Scott in his arms with each step he made towards his cooling bed. Clumsily he kicked the door closed behind him, moving with an urgency until he was on the bed hovering over Scott with unfiltered determination behind his movements. He dipped down again and again kissing Scott with a fire and urgency, unable to deny what his heart was saying to him as he touched the side of Scott’s face. Pulling back, he searched Scott’s features knowing full well how dangerous the truth would be for them both, “With all that I am I love you. I know now that I always will.”

xxxxx

“Scott,” Logan gasped opening his eyes to discover himself surrounded by darkness. His heart was pounding in his chest, his mind overruled with darkness and fire taking him back to the place where he’d come so close to having it all only to lose it at the end of his miserable existence. Closing his eyes he tried to still the furious beating of his heart, but it was no use as his life with Scott replayed before his eyes revealing their rise as a couple leading to their inevitable fall when Jean worked her way into his mind taking Scott from his heart to a darker place there would be no turning back from.

“He’s gone,” Logan could hear himself screaming out—locked inside of his head in remembering the way his heart sank when Scott’s pain had been amplified by Jean’s hold on him taking Scott from the ease of finding love again, to the weight of her torture upon his mind mercilessly pulling him back to his grief until that fateful day Scott and Logan’s final exchange had led to Scott walking out the door never to be seen again.

“No,” Logan cried out again feeling his body overtaken with a rush of adrenaline. He broke into a cold sweat, fearing for the way he’d come so close to having it all and losing it. In his mind he could see his final goodbye with Scott, could feel it tearing him to pieces over and over again filling him with remorse and regret when the love of his life walked out of the door only to be taken out of this world without a fighting chance. Choking up on the thought, Logan fought to contain the tears that had haunted him more than he’d ever care to admit in his waking hours. He was supposed to be strong—to be the man who held everything together, but in losing Scott, he’d never forgiven himself. He’d never been able to move forward—never been able to place the blame upon anyone other than himself for not holding on tight enough. If he’d only loved him harder—if he’d only been less reluctant, then maybe Scott would’ve been still alive—maybe he would still be there with Logan happy and healthy, alive and well in ways that Logan had always longed for. Instead in Logan’s hesitation Scott had disappeared from his life leaving alone in the darkness until….

“Logan,” Scott’s tired voice questioned pulling Logan from his thoughts. He reopened his eyes taking in the faint glow of headlights passing by the old, run down motel room that he and Scott were in with one another. With a racing heart and a tormented mind, Logan tried to focus—to remember where he was and what he was doing as he felt the press of long, slender fingers over the center of his chest providing a warmth that had been absent for far too long.

Raising his head up, Logan looked down to his chest, discovering Scott where he’d always had him before in their first life together cuddled up to Logan’s chest. He was curled in against Logan, arm draped over Logan’s chest and his leg tucked between Logan’s thighs in the snuggle that Logan had once dubbed the Summers' Snuggle when Scott had first introduced it into his life. At the time it had been a joke between them, a display of affection between them when they’d held onto one another long after the passion had died down, but in this life, Logan found himself surrounded by confusion—by a new place where everything had changed. Scott had returned to his life, but he was so different—so many things had changed, but seeing Scott laying over his chest, Logan wondered if they had somehow stayed the same.

“It’s okay Slim,” Logan whispered bringing his head up to place a tired kiss over the top of Scott’s head. In the waking hours, Logan was convinced that Scott would fight it given his reluctance to allow intimacy between them in this new world, but in the quiet hours before the dawn, it seemed as though Scott’s defenses were slipping. He nestled in against Logan, getting more comfortable in his groggy state as Logan gently stroked the smooth, bare skin of Scott’s spine, simply relishing in the feel of the man beside him, “Everything’s fine.”

“We’ve got an early day ahead of us,” Scott slurred shifting over Logan on the bed, “Hill’s going to be here soon and…”

“I know,” Logan sighed thinking about the weight of the reality that surrounded him. Knowing only too well how things had changed, he realized that his second chance at happiness had left him far from where he’d hoped he would be.

When Logan had changed the world, he hadn’t known what would follow, but in all of his dreams of this new reality, the one thing he’d never anticipated was having Scott Summers in his arms again, allowing Logan to cradle and hold him after they’d come together in a place the rules of this new world simply wouldn’t allow. In this time Scott was a married man—Jean’s in ways that Logan both envied and longed for, but tonight had changed that. Tonight, Scott had finally slipped away from her hold on him, allowing himself to return to the one place that in this world Logan had convinced himself hadn’t existed. Their connection had been so strong in Logan’s world, but in this new place it was nothing more than a fading memory that had guided Logan to the trials—to the mistakes he’d made on the road to hold onto something that fate had cruelly stolen from him. It was a fading memory, stealing his future from him with each hit of Euphoria that he’d invited into his life hoping like hell to hold onto that part of his past he could never get back. If he could live in the fantasy world long enough, then maybe he would feel again—perhaps he would be stronger in facing the new reality head on. If he and his Scott could find peace with one another, then Logan promised he would accept that this Scott was not his for the taking. He would release Scott from the feelings he’d harbored for him and he would move on. He would be the better man if only he could just have one more night under Euphoria’s hold on him. It was all he could ever need in his life. It was all he ever wanted until he sat in that bar with Scott Summers propositioning him in ways that he wouldn’t dare dream of in their old life with one another.

Now as Logan lay on the center of the run-down motel room bed, wrapped up in less than clean sheets with the man of his dreams sleeping against his chest, Logan found himself caught up in the realization that some things would never change. Yes, their paths may not have been meant to align, but now that they had, Logan was for damn certain he wasn’t about to let go of what was there between them. This Scott was so much like his—so familiar and yet so distanced as Logan realized what he and Scott hadn’t offered to one another tonight. They were in so many ways strangers to one another, yet when Logan had felt the warmth of Scott’s touch and the way that Scott seemed to melt into him, he knew it had to be more. There had to be something there that remained from that other life—something that he could hold onto that could give him a reason to move forward in this new world.

“I’m not giving up on you Summers,” Logan whispered knowing full well that Scott was undoubtedly lost in his dreams of this new world Logan had stumbled into, dreaming about another man who’d made an impact on his life. That Logan clearly had been smart enough to know to reach out for Scott and maybe it was selfish for Logan to want what wasn’t his, but he’d waited far too long for this moment—for this opportunity to hold Scott again and now with Scott in his arms, he vowed that one way or another, he would make it work. He would do as Scott wanted for now, but sooner or later he was convinced that after this starting point, he wouldn’t stop until they’d both felt it again. They’d done it before in Logan’s world and despite Scott’s hesitation earlier in the night, Logan was almost certain they’d done it here as well before Logan had replaced the other him who’d been blessed with so much more time with Scott. Hell, the more Logan thought about it, the more he hated that bastard for being so very blessed to have it all within his reach. That man—the other him--hadn’t been tormented by Logan’s truths, but rather he had the world at his feet, yet he’d hesitated. He’d clearly held back and because of that he’d lost out on Scott. They’d clearly missed out on so much with one another because of circumstance instead of destruction. They’d been stubborn and impossible not knowing the gift they truly had in one another.

“But no more,” Logan vowed curling his arm tighter around Scott’s sleeping form. The squeeze seemed to bring Scott in further over his chest, hugging Logan’s body as the warmth of his breath skimmed over Logan’s flesh sending Logan to places where his mind had longed to keep him caught up in the divide between the past and the fantasy world Markus had offered him.

“You don’t need that anymore. This is real,” Logan mouthed to himself knowing only too well from this moment on one way or another he vowed to do everything in his power to remind Scott Summers to fall in love with him all over again no matter what it took to make it happen.


	9. Awake

**Awake: become aware of; come to a realization of.**

Sunlight filtered into the musty motel room causing Logan to grunt at its unwelcome intrusion. He was face down on the mattress with his head buried in the pillows wishing like hell for a few hours more to sleep. Groaning, he stretched his arm out across the mattress thinking about the headache that still throbbed inside of him. Granted, he’d been able to push it aside the night before with Scott, but this was undoubtedly yet another reminder of the Euphoria’s pull on his body. Last night he’d convinced himself that he’d shaken off the aftereffects long enough to lose himself to Scott—to claim what he’d longed for since his arrival in this new place surrounded by familiar faces without the history behind them. With a frown, Logan kept his eyes closed tightly thinking about the new memories he and Scott had made with one another. Yes, it hadn’t been as he’d anticipated, but making love to Summers had been a start—something he’d fantasized about for years on end after his Scott had passed away.

“My Scott,” a voice inside of his head reminded him thinking about the world he’d left behind. In this world Scott was still there, but there was that nagging question about whether this Scott could be his or if he could truly fit into the shoes of the man who’d once been where he was now. Shifting on the blankets, Logan reached out to the bed beside him hoping to put his fears to rest with the feel of Scott’s warmth at his side, but instead his fingers clasped the cooling sheet revealing that he’d been alone in his slumber.

“Slim?” Logan questioned groggily opening his eyes to discover that Scott was nowhere in sight. Taking in a breath, Logan realized that Scott’s scent had faded from the pillow beside him leaving a faint reminder of Scott’s presence in the room, but everything from the night before seemed to have been erased in the morning light.

“Damn it,” Logan cursed turning to his side. His eyes were now wide-open staring at the pillow that he’d once held Scott down over, listening to the sound of Scott giving in to desire—giving Logan what he’d dreamt about from that day outside of Chuck’s office. Now it felt like a distant memory given that Logan had spent the night with Scott in his arms. Only this morning it seemed Scott had other plans.

“Some things never change,” Logan groaned rolling over onto his back and contemplating Scott’s retreat. It seemed that in the time Logan had fallen asleep, Scott had slipped out of the motel room leaving Logan to simply linger on the remains of the night he put behind him on his own.

_“I don’t want to get used to this only to have it end for us,”_ Scott’s words resonated in the back of Logan’s mind, reminding him of Scott’s reluctance to give himself fully to the experience. Yes, it had been intense—wonderful in so many ways, but in so many others there were still so many things that were left unsaid between them.

“That’s undoubtedly my fault,” Logan sighed looking to Scott’s side of the bed for another lingering moment. With a sigh he closed his eyes thinking about how he’d held onto Scott—keeping Scott close to him in the center of the bed hoping to hold onto something he’d lost long after their passion expired. Instead of talking, they simply held onto one another savoring the warmth of each other until the early hours both caught up in silent contemplation.

“Damn it,” Logan cursed reopening his eyes and looking to the clock. It was a little after six, which meant he would have to get moving soon. Hill would be knocking down the door demanding Logan and Scott’s compliance one way or another for the mission they were about to go on. The thought left Logan unsettled when he forced himself to get up and out of bed. Pushing the blankets back, Logan was surprised to discover that he was wearing the t-shirt and pair of loose-fitting jeans that Scott had picked up for him the previous evening. Bringing his hand up over his chest, Logan found himself puzzled by his morning attire given the wild night he’d put behind him. Looking down, he could see the printed logo over the center of his chest serving as a reminder of Scott’s horrible taste in clothing.

“Oh good you’re awake,” Scott’s voice broke through his thoughts, prompting Logan to look up and discover Scott standing at the now open motel room door with a couple of brown paper bags in hand, “For a moment I thought you would still be asleep and I would have to pull out the big guns to wake you up.”

“That’s not necessary,” Logan replied pushing one hand up through his messy, dark hair, “I’m awake.”

“Good to hear it. I know we’re short on time, but I wanted to get a little food in you before we took off for Kingston.”

“You went shopping and brought back food?” Logan questioned pushing one hand through his unruly hair.

“That’s right. I figured it was the least I could do after the day you put behind you,” Scott nodded not bothering to look in Logan’s direction. He walked over to the small table near the window and set one bag down, placing it on the center of the table. Stepping back, he carried the other bag over to the edge of Logan’s bed, just beyond Logan’s reach to place it on the discarded comforter, “Once you take a shower, you should try these on. They might fit you better than those things you’re wearing.”

“What are they?” Logan arched a suspicious brow. He found his focus shifting to the brown bag beside him.

“Just a few odds and ends,” Scott shrugged, “I picked them up from the thrift store this morning. I realize that it was rather short notice given all we’ve had thrown on our lap, but something told me that you weren’t too thrilled with what I bought yesterday.”

“Do you blame me?” Logan nodded down to the t-shirt he was wearing.

“No,” Scott answered with deadpan seriousness. He stood there for a moment simply staring Logan down before he spoke up again, “You aren’t easy to shop for, but I think I found something adequate.”

“It might’ve been advisable for you to do the same for yourself,” Logan noted catching the blue and green pinstripe shirt and blue sweater vest that Scott was wearing. He had on a pair of tan khaki pants and ridiculously proper loafers that caused Logan to question just what Scott was thinking in his wardrobe selection, “You know we’re going on a bit of a stakeout in Kingston right? Not a morning at the yacht club with the locals?”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Scott frowned tipping his head to the side to issue Logan a scowl.

“You look like you’re ready to hang out at the country club with the rest of the PTA after a round of golf, not go after a sociopath set on destroying humanity,” Logan noted giving Scott another long, curious once over. Although the attire was completely inappropriate for the mission, there was something about the way the cut that fit Scott’s body that caused Logan to crack a grin. When Scott turned away, Logan couldn’t help, but smirk stealing a glance at Scott’s firm, muscular bottom appreciating the fit the pants had over his lean form. Thinking about the night they’d shared between them, Logan couldn’t help, but reveal a predatory grin, “Long night, last night, wasn’t it?”

“You seemed to appreciate the rest, which is why I wasn’t in a rush to wake you up on my way out this morning,” Scott answered simply. He moved over to the bed adjacent to Logan’s. He smoothed out the dirty comforter to get the wrinkles out of it seemingly more interested in the bed than a conversation with Logan. A moment later he stood upright keeping his back to Logan, “I called Hank after you went to sleep and told him what was going on. He brought us a few things to wear from home, which is always an option if you don’t like what I picked up at the thrift store for you. I’d purchased them before he and I connected so…”

“You’re saying that you enlisted Hank to bring us a change of clothing,” Logan contemplated Scott’s words, “Wait, so those are your clothes from home?”

“Like you didn’t know that,” Scott groaned outwardly as he reached down to touch the sweater vest he was wearing, “and I don’t want to hear it.”

“What?” Logan couldn’t help, but smirk when Scott’s lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl, “It’s very Cyclops I suppose.”

“Bite me,” Scott scoffed.

“Where?” Logan questioned with a seductive lull hoping to pull a reaction out of Scott, but when it seemed that Scott wasn’t having it, Logan couldn’t help, but frown.

“I realize that you’ve never stopped mocking me for my wardrobe along with everything else, so why would I think that today would be a day that you’d start changing your habits?”

“It isn’t so much me mocking you, but rather…” Logan opened his mouth to prepare his defense.

“I don’t care what you think of it. I don’t,” Scott replied with a deep, agitated scowl, “I might not be fashion forward, but that’s not relevant.”

“Slim I…”

“Look I get it you hate the sweater vest, but I don’t care. It’s comfortable, practical and I like it especially this time of year and...”

“It totally prevents the world from seeing how hot you are,” Logan mouthed with a hint of amusement, “I mean why show anyone how sexy you could be with that atrocity draped around you and…”

“Fashion isn’t about being sexy,” Scott paused rethinking his words, “At least not for me. I’m not going to defend myself to you on this one. I get it. You hate this vest. You’ve told me more times than I can count every time I’ve worn it, but…”

“You mean…” Logan frowned realizing that once again he was making it clear that he wasn’t the man Scott had believed him to be, “you’ve worn that before?”

“And out in public too much to your dismay. You’ve never let me live that down after that time we were in Atlanta,” Scott grumbled with a shake of his head. It seemed that something was on the tip of his tongue, but abruptly he seemed to switch direction on their conversation, “but my wardrobe selection isn’t really up for discussion. It is what it is and screw you if you don’t like it. I do.”

“Wow…” Logan brought one hand up through his wild hair. He scratched the top of his head watching as Scott turned away from him, “that escalated quickly.”

“It often does.”

“Scott…” Logan sighed, “Look I’m…”

“You tend to have a habit of putting your foot in your mouth more often than not,” Scott replied in a quieter tone. His posture had shifted seemingly more tense than he’d been upon his return to the hotel room. While Logan couldn’t quite place it, there was something more to their conversation—something beyond what they were saying that had become a point of contention for them without Logan realizing it.

“Hey, I’m…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Scott offered Logan an out to their conversation. Instead he returned his focus to the motel room, “What does is that I was able to get a solid grasp on what’s next. I was able to fill Hank in on what was going on. Of course, he was less than thrilled to hear what was happening, but regardless he came into town to pick up the samples I had for him and…”

“You were with Hank this morning?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise, “He’s here?”

“He was,” Scott nodded accordingly. Standing up straighter, he turned around to face Logan with a neutral expression on his face, “I explained the situation we fell into last night and he was eager to get his hands on the sample of Euphoria I’d obtained. I filled him in on what Maria shared with us, what you were doing and what I discovered in that facility just so that we could all be on the same page here. He’s going to do a little research and…”

“When did you find the time?” Logan questioned looking to the clock again and remembering that the last time he’d paid attention to it was a little after three when Scott was curled in against his chest, holding him tightly.

“You were exhausted—no doubt due to whatever the Euphoria was doing to you, so I had energy to burn,” Scott replied walking over to the table where he’d deposited the first grocery bag, “This morning I got up early, took a shower, called Hank and then went to breakfast with him at this diner that truthfully didn’t look like much.”

“You went to breakfast? With Hank?” Logan questioned unable to mask his disappointment at the thought of Scott leaving without any warning.

Scott nodded, “It wasn’t half bad. They had these apple cinnamon crepes they advertised as being the best in the county. We were skeptic, but they were actually fantastic so much so that Hank and I weren’t sure we wanted to walk away from them this morning.”

“Crepes? Is that right?” Logan arched a curious brow watching as Scott moved around the room, “You were that excited about…breakfast?”

“It’s the most important meal of the day,” Scott answered with deadpan seriousness.

“Even so,” Logan eyed him suspiciously, “I’ve never seen you this excited about crepes.”

“It sounds crazy, right?” Scott offered up a small, uncharacteristic laugh, “I guess it is true what they say about how you should never estimate the power of a really good meal.”

“A good meal,” Logan repeated giving Scott a long, scrutinizing look, “So after everything that’s happened the thing that you’re most excited over this morning is breakfast?”

“It was a really great meal,” Scott explained with a neutral expression on his face. He motioned to the bag on the table before speaking up once again, “We agreed that you should try it. This is all for you, but rest assured we didn’t stop at crepes given that I ordered you a little bit of everything they had on special and…”

“Why would you do that?” Logan questioned wearily.

“I figured you might be hungry.”

“Now that you mention it,” Logan’s stomach rumbled when the first hint of the food’s aroma finally registered in his senses. Looking to the table near the window of their motel room, he couldn’t help, but find himself contemplating the merits of the meal Scott had picked up for him, “it couldn’t hurt to try these tasty crepes.”

“Right,” Scott agreed clearing his throat again, “Plus, I have no idea when the last time you ate was.”

“Couldn’t tell you,” Logan admitted pushing one hand up through his messy hair. He pondered the thought blinking a few times when he realized that the only thing resembling food that he could remember was having the beer in the bar with Scott. Tilting his head to the side, he watched Scott moving around the table again filled with an uncharacteristic energy in his step.

“I’m sure you’re going to need your strength for the journey ahead of us,” Scott shrugged his shoulders. He reached for the bag again, looking inside of it to scrutinize its contents, “The last thing I need is a member of my team going without any kind of sustenance when we’re about to tackle a mission.”

“Slim…” Logan frowned standing up and following Scott over to the table. With a bold move, he reached out to squeeze at Scott’s shoulder, “Look about last night…”

“There’s no need to discuss it,” Scott shrugged simply. Almost immediately his mood seemed to sour when he tensed up beneath Logan’s touch, “I think it speaks for itself.”

“Does it?” Logan questioned feeling a chill in the air between them. There was something about Scott’s posture that indicated he was attempting to keep Logan at arm’s length, attempting to rebuild that wall between them that had lingered since Logan’s arrival in this new place.

“I pushed too hard when you don’t owe me any answers,” Scott blurted out in a cool, distanced tone, “Naturally I’m curious about what happened, but I know last night was a tough one for you.”

“I think we both had a lot happening that might’ve left us in a position where we were both feeling perhaps a little confused about…” Logan began again squeezing his fingers over the curve of Scott’s shoulder. He could feel Scott tense up beneath the touch, but for a moment he sensed there was something inside of Scott wanting to open up—to explore the unspoken words that lingered between them, but before Logan could finish, Scott interrupted him with a small, dismissive shake of his head.

“I’m not confused. You were riding high off the cycle that Euphoria puts you through. Maybe we weren’t as prepared for it as we wanted to be, but we managed,” Scott replied sliding out of Logan’s reach. Without hesitation he moved around the table, positioning the small Styrofoam containers on top of the wood to offer Logan his choices, “Hill mentioned that the Euphoria would bring about some hard side effects that you would need some time to work through beyond dampening your powers like exhaustion, headaches, muscle aches, hallucinations…”

“Hallucinations?” Logan repeated looking down to the clothing he was wearing. Watching Scott preparing to offer Logan the meal he’d brought back with him, it left Logan feeling more unsettled in the moment wondering just what was happening between him and Scott.

“Among other things,” Scott tipped his head up to look at Logan briefly, “We haven’t really touched on all the potential side effects with one another, but she also mentioned nausea and even vomiting, which we both know is prevalent in you after a dosage.”

“Be that as it may I know for damn certain that last night wasn’t a…” Logan began again with a frown. He watched Scott reach for one of the containers. He opened the top of it before sliding it across the wooden surface of the table towards Logan.

“I wasn’t sure how you wanted your eggs, so I went with scrambled and…”

“Scott…” Logan frowned feeling the weight of the distance between them. He stepped forward preparing to say something more when another thought occurred to him, “You said Maria talked to you about the side effects of Euphoria last night?”

Scott nodded, “Before I realized that you were a test subject, she gave me a quick overview on Euphoria including what to expect with someone who was using. She glossed over some of the possible side effects for both mutants and humans, but I got the gist of it.”

“Is that right?” Logan arched a curious brow.

“Absolutely,” Scott nodded again when his face shifted to the stoic expression that Logan had gotten used to in the past, “However, I still felt unprepared to deal with the aftermath of it all. I figured that I needed do more research so that I didn’t enter this situation unprepared. When I was waiting for Hank, I did a little digging on my own. Next to the thrift shop was this internet café, which was a treat since I thought those places went out years ago with free Wi-Fi.”

“An internet café?” Logan arched a curious brow.

“You know with computers, pastries and coffee?” Scott opened his mouth to say something more before shaking the thought, “I did a little digging on my own about the introduction of Euphoria in society. Initially it was nothing more than a rumor after the government’s last failed attempt at a so-called cure for us. Only in the last year or so did it begin to circulate on the streets. It went by a few other names before it evolved to Euphoria, but…”

“The drug’s a problem, yeah,” Logan cut him off impatiently, “but I’m not…”

“I can’t believe that it hasn’t been brought up before now,” Scott continued interrupting Logan’s words, “To think that this was happening all around us, but we’ve been kept in the dark for this long about its distribution and…”

“It’s nasty stuff,” Logan agreed with a small scowl, “I realized that when I volunteered to help Norm out and…”

“It’s highly addictive,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown issuing Logan another disapproving glance. He tipped his head to the side seemingly assessing Logan in the moment, clearly weighing out his thoughts before he focused on the food container once again, “The things that it can do specifically to a mutant’s body…”

“Aren’t worth the risk,” Logan groaned outwardly, “Yeah I get that. I know it is bad news.”

“Yet you volunteered to be a test subject for the latest batch of it,” Scott’s voice was laced with heavy agitation.

“For good reason,” Logan clarified with a huff, “I knew that if anyone could take it, I’m the perfect candidate to step in and get the job done.”

“Even with your healing factor, you should’ve taken the time to realize that…”

“That it could fuck me up?” Logan finished with a scowl when it became painfully clear that Scott was gearing up to lecture him all over again for his unauthorized actions in taking on the mission he’d happened upon, “Look Slim if this is another lecture about how I put everyone in danger by going off on my own like I did, then…”

“What good will it do?” Scott replied folding his arms in front of his chest, “You did it and the damage is done.”

“Gee, when you put it that way…”

“Regardless of your intentions, it was stupid to think that you could take this all on by yourself. You know better Logan. You’re smarter than this,” Scott chastised him further.

“I was helping a friend…”

“…who encouraged you to put yourself in a compromising position without any real back up should things go awry,” Scott reminded him.

“They didn’t go awry until you decided that snooping on me was the way to go,” Logan’s irritations mounted when Scott seemed set on giving him hell for his decision to help a friend.

“It was clear that something was wrong Logan,” Scott scoffed rolling his shoulders back and standing up taller. In his posture he was attempting to do what he always did right before battle in positioning himself as a man of authority, but there was something about the tone in his voice that left Logan wondering if his agitation was grounded in something much more personal between them, “You not only put yourself at risk, but everyone else around us all because you decided to go all lone wolf and…”

“Says the man who not only opted to team up with Agent Hill, but also found a way to charm Markus all in a matter of hours when he was stalking me,” Logan challenged making a small movement towards Scott, “Everything was on the right track until you showed up and…”

“You damn near killed yourself by volunteering. Face it my following you saved your life,” Scott snapped, raising his voice when it seemed that his grip on the cool resolve he was holding onto began to unravel ever so slightly. With the hitch in his voice, there was a sense of concern, of worry and something that ran deeper than Logan was certain Scott had wanted to reveal in his stance against Logan’s actions. He opened his mouth seemingly ready to tear into Logan, but after a moment his lips pinched together again in a tight grimace.

“I had it under control,” Logan argued knowing full well that his answer was flimsy at best. Still with Scott geared up for a fight, Logan found himself falling back to being defensive about how horribly wrong things had gone the previous evening at the facility.

“No, you didn’t Logan. We both know that,” Scott shook his head dismissively, “After a few hours of research I found myself terrified of the prospect of what Euphoria could do to a person, but with you…”

“I did what was needed to be done,” Logan snarled in response, “I needed answers and…”

“What did you get out of it? More poking and prodding? Memory loss after years of fighting to pull your thoughts back after all you’ve endured? Hallucinations? Nausea, disorientation to the point of passing out and vomiting?” Scott challenged with an arched brow.

“Like I said. I had it under control.”

“No Logan. You were never in control of any of this and that’s what concerns me,” Scott replied poignantly, “This was a disaster from the start especially when you decided to ride it out on your own.”

“I did what I felt was right.” Logan argued.

“And how do you feel about it now?” Scott challenged making a small movement towards Logan. His lower lip quivered for just a millisecond, revealing with a sense of uncertainty that most people would never pick up in Scott’s stoic persona, but for the briefest hints of a moment it was there revealing itself. There was the one thing that Logan hadn’t truly seen in all of this—fear.

Fear was the one thing that had guided Logan to try to push Scott away from the situation. It was there reason Logan had hoped Maria would back down, but instead all his urgency had done was convince Maria to keep Scott on board for this mission that would inevitably go south the moment that they found their way to Kingston and Markus.

“Like if I knew you were going to be this big of a pain in the ass, then I would’ve found another way to keep you from following me last night,” Logan snarled clenching his fingers into fists at his sides.

“And if you’d done that, then you could be completely over the edge out of your mind going full feral,” Scott reminded him with a shake of his head, “Or have you forgotten that’s where you were at when we found one another? The animal took control and…”

“It was a momentary lapse,” Logan argued further.

“That almost caused you to kill guards and…” Scott added.

“They would’ve killed us after they realized what you were doing there,” Logan tossed back at him flippantly, “You did more damage to that place last night than I could’ve done in participating as a volunteer on the trials.”

“What you did was stupid and reckless,” Scott called him out further, “Regardless of you believing that you are invincible you aren’t Logan. You aren’t unstoppable especially when you’re poisoning yourself with something that could ultimately kill you. Did you stop to think about that?”

“Slim I…”

“What did you think the adamantium was going to do to you once your healing factor was muted?” Scott lashed out at him further, “How long do you think you would’ve been able to endure that pain you were seeking out when…?”

“They took measures to avoid that outcome,” Logan explained thinking about his mission, “Norm assured me that…”

“Norm wasn’t there pulling the strings. Markus was and if at any time someone figured out what you were doing there or who you truly were,” Scott moved in closer to him, “It could’ve been the end of you for real this time and for what? To punish me for not doing things differently back in Boston?”

“This isn’t about Boston. I already told you that…”

“Then what is it about? My wedding day?” Scott questioned fighting to control the volume in his tone, “Is it about what happened before the ceremony all those years ago that…?”

“This isn’t about you Scott,” Logan frowned back at him, “This wasn’t about…”

“The hell it wasn’t. I saw that…” Scott stopped himself when he took a step away from Logan. He attempted to take in a calming breath, but it was no use as Logan found himself focused on the way that Scott’s chest rose and fell with the tension coiling over him. He could hear the distress in Scott’s labored breath, could feel it in the room around him and as his gaze lingered to Scott’s plump, parted lips, he found himself even more desperate for the taste that Scott had denied him the night before.

“Scott…” Logan moved in closer to him only to feel the bristling effects of Scott’s agitation.

“What did you truly gain from jumping into this one?” Scott questioned abrasively, “Aside from learning about what is happening in Kingston, what did it do for you?”

“I think you already know that my friend needed…” Logan huffed bringing his hand up over the back of his neck. He rubbed his large palm over the spot between his shoulders feeling his tension mount there in Scott’s questioning.

“Norm’s granddaughter wasn’t consuming your thoughts when you were in that trial Logan.”

“I thought this wasn’t going to be a lecture,” Logan scoffed.

“It’s not. It’s…” Scott stopped himself. Moving around the motel room once again, Scott seemed to be struggling to put his thoughts to words, “I saw others who were in the trials. When Markus sent me on a tour, he specifically led me to the observation room where I was able to get a glimpse of the other subjects. They had monitors set up for viewing the volunteers and projecting their Euphoria induced fantasy onto the screen as if I was in their heads watching it unfold. He pushed me to be a part of that process and I was standing there like a voyeur taking in every one of their thoughts and emotions—feeling the weight of it all inside of my head. The overwhelming power of it all reminded me of what someone like Charles or Jean goes through daily being able to reach inside and pull out so many dark things about the person they are with. What they can do—for a moment—I found myself in that position being an uninvited guest to those dreams and desires…”

“Are you saying that…?” Logan’s face grew hot when Scott turned away from him.

“There are secrets being revealed in those trials that were never meant to see the light of day Logan—things that Markus clearly wants to hold for whatever reason he feels will benefit him,” Scott announced moving around the room to look out the window.

“What kind of things?” Logan’s body tensed up at the thought of what Scott had witnessed, “What did you see?”

“I was looking in on the most private thoughts and desires belonging to strangers—feeling their joy and grief as if it was my own. Their feelings were somehow amplified in that setting reaching out to me in ways that felt impossible before last night. The experience I had after being there didn’t seem like it was something that would resonate in me, but there was this moment when I saw a glimpse of…,” Scott hesitated, pulling back to a neutral expression with an equally distanced tone, “The volunteers were living out their greatest fantasy or in some cases their darkest moment, replaying it over and over again in the hopes that there was some reprieve at the end of the illusion.”

“Scott…” Logan began.

“One volunteer was there because he was hoping to regain life after he’d lost his limbs in war,” Scott forced a small, poignant laugh, “Another had lost her lover and was trying to come to terms with the past—hoping to find a way to move forward without him after his death rendered her helpless.”

“Scott, look I…” Logan started once again as the tension lingered in the air between them, “Did you see anything with me that…?”

“Each one of the volunteers was hoping to find their own resolution to whatever was weighing in on their subconscious. There was something pulling them back in—something that they couldn’t escape—that they didn’t want to once Euphoria wrapped them up in its seductive grip,” Scott paused allowing the words to settle in the air between them, “For some of them the Euphoria pulled them close to what was troubling them. It gave them a safe space to reveal their true selves—to show what they were afraid to share with the world around them.”

“I realize what it might look like Scott, but….” Logan struggled to explain himself.

“With that kind of freedom anything goes,” Scott interrupted continuing to speak without any real direction in his words, “It opens the doors to places where a mind is never freely meant to go. Fantasy is one thing, but with the Euphoria, it ceased to be a fantasy any longer for the volunteers. It was the reality that they longed for—the one thing that they couldn’t live without and…”

“Euphoria does things to a person Slim. I’m not going to lie or try to deny it,” Logan divulged quietly, “After trying it that first night, it gave me something that…”

“You needed more of,” Scott finished looking over at Logan across the room, “You couldn’t escape its hold on you.”

“I’d be lying if I said otherwise,” Logan replied guiltily when he felt the weight of Scott’s gaze upon him, “What it gave me is something that…”

“You could never have in this world,” Scott offered up knowingly. He let out a long sigh, turning away from Logan and starting to pace again, “It gave you the freedom to take what you want and…”

“It gave me back something I lost,” Logan answered honestly. As he watched Scott moving around the room, he found that his heart sank in knowing all that he’d lost before waking up in this new world, “It allowed me to take back what was mine and…”

“It opened the door to Markus and anyone else who wanted to look around inside of your brain to do so freely. It put you in a position to be vulnerable. It took you somewhere that you once swore to me you never wanted to go again,” Scott glanced over his shoulder at Logan briefly. He opened his mouth to say something more but stopped himself when he turned to the window again. He tilted his head to the side before letting out an uneasy breath, “While the project was serving up a distraction to its volunteers, they were simply pumping out information to Markus and his server offering up in exchange the secrets that they wouldn’t willingly volunteer to the world around them.”

“So, you’re saying that…” Logan watched as Scott grimaced.

“They were stealing secrets as a means of mass destruction,” Scott deduced with a small shudder, “They were planning on using this trial as phase one of something more.”

“So, you think that…?” Logan began watching Scott closely.

“The government wants Markus out, but they have no intention of stopping any of this after everything is said and done. They want the empire he has built, and they won’t stop until it is in their possession no matter what the cost,” Scott answered readily. As he pulled the curtain back, Logan noticed the tension in his posture, “Despite knowing that, I believe that Hill has her own agenda in this.”

“I’m aware,” Logan frowned thinking about what they’d encountered the night before with the irate agent in their motel room.

“She’s not going to be thwarted from getting her hands on that information. No matter how I temporarily stopped it, she’s not going to back down,” Scott’s voice was distanced as he looked out onto the parking lot, “She’s been building her case for a while, trying to gain insight on this mission and…”

“You think S.H.I.E.L.D is pulling her strings on this one,” Logan noted catching the way that Scott’s lips seemed to dip down further in a scowl.

“Without a doubt,” Scott stepped away from the window. He pushed the curtain back into place before elaborating further, “I don’t think Hill is necessarily on the up and up with us about things, but…”

“Well obviously,” Logan rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think she’s nefarious either,” Scott decided turning around to face Logan again, “Yes, she lied to me—repeatedly, but she’s smart. She’s got a good head on her shoulders, but there’s something about what she said last night that really hit me.”

“What’s that?” Logan couldn’t help, but question watching as Scott moved around the room.

“She talked to me about Senator Johnson’s daughter and her boyfriend,” Scott replied seemingly caught up in his own contemplations, “I know that I said last night that I felt she did it to pull me in and manipulate me into doing what she needed me to do, but…”

“She’s duplicitous Scott. All of them are from the agency,” Logan reminded him with a shake of his head, “One minute you think you know what’s happening and then the next…”

“She could’ve said a million things to pull me in,” Scott faced Logan once again, “She could’ve run with a lot of easier subjects to entice me into helping her, but she chose that one knowing full well the political weight of the case. She wanted me to hear the truth about how Euphoria was involved—about how someone knew full well that boy was innocent and…”

“Scott,” Logan sighed watching Scott pace around the room.

“That case was horrible,” Scott turned to look over his shoulder at Logan again, “They made it a public execution to prove their point. They wanted to blame his powers—to say that he was guilty for being one of us. They treated him like he was a monster—a weapon that they needed to dispose of when if what you were saying last night about S.H.I.E.L.D. and the government being the ones to manufacture Euphoria, then this goes beyond the three of us. This is…”

“…a set up,” Logan finished watching Scott contemplate his next steps after a night of stewing over the issues.

“Eliminating Markus might be their objective, but what if I’ve been going about this all wrong?” Scott tossed out at Logan again, “As soon as I took in the information my initial thought was that those higher ups were looking to gain access to the trials to learn what Markus knows—to get their hands on the secrets that he holds because at any time those could be used to bring someone down. If the truth about those secrets got out, then it’s possible that the wrong person could use that to crush their target.”

“I don’t think it ran that deep Scott. With the trials…” Logan began again with a frown.

“They were about tapping into a person’s deepest desires,” Scott reasoned with him, “When I walked into that observation room, Fred—the tech on duty, told me that they had five hundred volunteers. He said that they were looking to expand with the possibility of doubling them in a few weeks.”

“So, what’s your point?” Logan questioned taking a seat on the edge of the bed when Scott paced the room.

“Maria said that all the volunteers went through an extensive process to qualify—that they had to fill out a survey and then subject themselves to other tests…” Scott pondered out loud.

“The survey was nothing really and the tests…” Logan hesitated when Scott turned to face him once again.

“What were they?” Scott demanded bringing his focus to Logan completely, “What preliminary things did they force you to subject yourself to?”

“Not the same things that everyone else went through,” Logan cleared his throat. He rubbed his palms together in his lap and looked to the dirty carpet at his feet.

“Why is that?” Scott questioned, “Because of Norm’s influence?”

“I guess…I mean I’d just assumed that…” Logan hesitated. He looked up at Scott once again, “Let’s just say I got pushed through the ranks of the other potential candidates. After Norm filled out the paperwork….”

“You were pushed into the program without any rigorous background testing. They really had no idea what they were bringing into the situation beyond the initial paper trail that Norm helped you with,” Scott deduced further, “which means you had to have someone on the inside signing off on the paperwork to say that you went through the process just as everyone else had. It had to look like you were the ideal candidate.”

“I guess,” Logan shrugged focusing on the carpeting again when Scott’s words began to resonate inside of him, “I didn’t really take the time to worry about that. Just wanted to get my foot in the door to find out what happened and…”

“You stuck around,” Scott moved in closer to him, “You found yourself front and center in the trials—taking in the experience and…”

“We aren’t talking about that right now,” Logan replied stiffly. He looked to the closed window again when a chill carried over him, “If that’s what you want to ask me about…”

“I don’t,” Scott wrinkled his nose dismissively.

“You don’t?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“I mean I do, but right now I need to think this through. I need to take you out of the equation and look into why this is so important to S.H.I.E.L.D. so to speak,” Scott started to pace around the room once again, “As I said before I felt that they were fishing for damning information, but what if it runs deeper than that?”

“Deeper how?” Logan questioned again.

“There was a reason Maria mentioned that case to me,” Scott explained with a tension carrying over his jawline, “It wasn’t just to play me. I could see that there was something in her eyes—something that was troubling her—that she wasn’t ready to let go of yet that…”

“Scott, I wish I could tell you what that is, but…” Logan hesitated before drawing in a nervous breath, “I don’t remember the case. I wasn’t…”

“Wasn’t what?” Scott questioned with a frown.

“Here…” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth. He brought one hand up over the side of his head feeling an ache building in his temple evolving from a dull throb to a full pulsating pinch of nerve and muscle, “What I mean is that I…I just can’t…I can’t remember any of that. That time is hazy and…”

Scott’s jaw flexed with tension upon Logan’s words. He started to pace around the room, rubbing his palms together, slow and methodically when silence surrounded them. It seemed to fill the void between them taking them from the run-down motel room to a much darker place where the truth threatened to drive them even further apart should Scott find his way to it after the night they’d shared. When the tension couldn’t get any more suffocating, Scott finally stopped pacing long enough to face Logan again with a scrutinizing expression on his face, “How could you not remember the way they castigated that boy?”

“Scott I…” Logan brought his hand up through his hair.

“They made a spectacle of it,” Scott shuddered at the memory, “With the way they televised the execution using it as a means of pushing the political agenda. We fought like hell to prevent that travesty—working to save him, but the harder we fought for his freedom, the more convinced they were that he could never have it.”

“You’re saying that…” Logan’s eyes widened when Scott hung his head somberly caught up in a wave of a memory that had escaped Logan in his new life, “They murdered an innocent boy on television and…”

“There was nothing we could do to stop it. Charles tried—we all did, but…” Scott’s face filled with regret, “nothing could change the outcome. It was the final nail in the coffin for our kind bringing about this political divide and…”

“You think S.H.I.E.L.D. played a hand in his death,” Logan was almost afraid to ask.

“I think someone in the government orchestrated all of this to make sure that we were at war all over again,” Scott blurted out with conviction in his tone, “They made a martyr out of him in their wrongful prosecution knowing that he was innocent. They wanted to slaughter him in front of the world because…”

“It would be a tool to dragging us out into the public and eliciting outrage over our kind all over again,” Logan realized with a shudder.

“Returning to the days when we were feared and hated,” Scott finished for him when it was clear he and Logan were finally on the same page with one another, “After the things that Magneto has done in the past Charles has worked like hell to prove that we’re better than that. He’s fought to build a world where we could live together in harmony, but because of that boy’s death that dream no longer holds relevance in this world.”

“Scott…” Logan watched as Scott moved over to the window once again. He pulled the curtain back looking out at the world beyond the haven of their broken-down motel room.

“Someone wanted that boy to suffer so that we would react. They wanted Magneto to step forward—or someone like him to right the wrongs they’ve created. They were pushing for an all-out war and…” Scott touched the pane of glass before him, “we’re on the brink of one.”

“Which is even more reason why I don’t want you involved in any of this. Knowing what I do…” Logan stood up and moved in over towards Scott again, “The things I’ve seen….”

“Markus knows the truth,” Scott announced firmly, “He’s holding all the cards because somewhere in his trials the truth is out there. He has it tucked away on his server—revealing the depth of the government’s involvement in all of this. His trials served not only as an information grabbing process, but as a means of discovering that which those in the government wish to keep concealed from here on out.”

“Are you saying that….?” Logan’s words trailed off.

“They want to bury the truth before it reaches the light of day,” Scott announced firmly, “and if I had successfully planted that tracker last night, then there isn’t a doubt in my mind that they would have all the things they needed to erase the truth from existence.”

“If that were true, then why would Hill even bother to mention it to you?” Logan asked.

“Because she doesn’t agree with it,” Scott replied in a firm assertion, “She’s gone along with this as far as she must, but she doesn’t want to the truth to be buried. Despite her affiliations she believes in justice and fairness. She knows the potential for destruction that the data collected in those trials could bring to light. Sure, there are things that they could use to keep the world at bay, but the information about the government working to orchestrate a conspiracy on that level could only mean…”

“Sheer destruction,” Logan realized thinking about the potential outcome they were facing after the senseless murder Scott spoke of.

“We’re going to burn, aren’t we?” Scott questioned leaning forward to place his forehead against the glass. He let out a long sigh with his breath creating a cloud of vaper over the cool glass, “This is going to be the end of us if we don’t fix this.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Logan sighed reaching out to touch Scott’s shoulder gently, “Slim, I’ve seen the end firsthand and…”

“I asked Hank not to tell Charles about this,” Scott blurted out when it seemed that things had taken a surprising twist between them, “After I called him in on this, I realized that perhaps it was best if we kept it between us for now.”

“You mean you didn’t…?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“If you didn’t feel comfortable telling him about this, then I’m certain you had your reasoning,” Scott deduced with a tense flex of his jaw, “Given all that’s involved with these trials I think it’s best to keep it this way.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Logan questioned with a frown, “It isn’t like you to not go running to Chuck when…”

“You decided not to bring him or anyone else into this,” Scott reminded him with a shake of his head, “I realize that with me you didn’t have a choice and with Hank…”

“Do you really think that he’s not going to tell Chuck about all of…” Logan hesitated unable to refrain from looking over at the bed once again, “this? Those two have a long history with one another and…”

“He’s my best friend and he understands the importance of discretion especially when we’re in a situation where we have to be smart about things,” Scott answered readily, “Given what we know about Markus and the trials, I think it’s a fair assessment that if we keep the others out of this for a while then we will undoubtedly be keeping everyone safe a bit longer.”

“So, this is about safety,” Logan contemplated Scott’s words, “for the school.”

“Of course,” Scott nodded again, “The way I see it the closer to home this is, then the more we stand to lose when…”

“No, I don’t buy it. Even with what you’ve said to me today…,” Logan shook his head, “You’re the last person to opt to keep Chuck out of the loop. Hell, you’d be the first person I know to go running to him with news of my screw up and…”

“Sometimes you underestimate me Logan,” Scott scowled as Logan could practically feel the weight of Scott’s glare from behind his visor. His agitation level had increased by tenfold, but there was something more just beneath the surface that Logan realized Scott was holding back on with him.

“Right,” Logan frowned watching as Scott turned his back to Logan again. With a scowl, Logan looked around the room searching for the clothing Scott had discarded the night before when they’d fallen into bed with one another. Granted he’d expected Scott to have taken his clothing with him when he’d walked out, but there weren’t any signs of Scott’s tattered briefs that Logan had removed the night before. Side stepping around the room, Logan looked to the trash can half expecting to find them and the used condoms within, but when it only revealed a few empty beer cans, Logan looked around to Scott again, “hey…did you take the trash out this morning?”

“No why?” Scott countered as he pushed through the brown bag on the table once again.

“I mean I was just asking because…” Logan frowned turning his attention to the door, “You kept the do not disturb sign on the door, yes?”

“Of course,” Scott nodded, “I learned that lesson the hard way back in Atlanta when we were on that one mission where…well, you know.”

“What?” Logan questioned seeing that Scott’s cheeks grew a pale shade of crimson.

“You know,” Scott tipped his head to the side to look over at Logan again.

“Enlighten me,” Logan leaned back watching as Scott seemed less comfortable in the moment.

“With the woman on the cleaning staff,” Scott provided cryptically, “I still can’t forget how that maid came in to touch things up and she found those pink fuzzy handcuffs that Wade gave you.”

“Pink fuzzy handcuffs?” Logan repeated with a wrinkled expression on his face, “What the hell would he be giving me those for?”

“They weren’t really for you,” Scott’s face now grew a deep crimson shade at the admission, “They were for me considering that my bachelor party was a few days later when…”

“Again, why the hell would Wade give me those?” Logan questioned with a huff contemplating his current situation with Scott.

“I often wondered the same thing,” Scott groaned outwardly before another thought seemed to take over him. For the briefest of moments, a smirk teased over the corners of Scott’s lips before it faded completely returning to the wall of seriousness that surrounded Scott most of the time, “You really don’t remember, do you?”

“Not really,” Logan divulged with a small scowl.

Scott seemed to be weighing out Logan’s response to their conversation. He tilted his head to the side, giving Logan a long, scrutinizing once over that made Logan feel suddenly even more self-conscious in the moment. He shifted on his feet looking away from Scott when he cleared his throat.

“Oh,” Scott’s voice faltered just a bit, but almost as soon as Logan caught the tonal shift, he seemed to recover, “I mean I know we’ve always played it by ear, but that was typical for Wade trying to shake us up when we were on a mission doing the unexpected and trying to throw a loop at us…still it’s no matter. It was redundant to bring up especially now. Forget about it.”

“No, I don’t think I can,” Logan pushed the issue further, “There’s a clear story to tell.”

“Not this morning,” Scott dismissed Logan’s words with a shake of his head, “Just forget about it.”

“Not when you threw it out there,” Logan argued realizing that Scott’s face was still a pale crimson shade indicating that there was far more to the memory that Scott had revealed to him, “Tell me more.”

“It was a lifetime ago,” Scott offered up with a small sigh. He brought one hand up through his wavy, dark hair pushing it away from his forehead.

“Yeah, well I feel like I live in a world of lifetimes ago,” Logan admitted somberly when silence surrounded them once again.

“It was just Wade being Wade. It isn’t worth mentioning today,” Scott shook his head dismissively.

“After what we dealt with last night, I could use a laugh,” Logan suggested watching Scott closely, “Indulge me.”

“Stories about Wade seldom keep your interest,” Scott shook his head, slumped his shoulders and sighed, “We both know that.”

“When he’s giving you pink, fuzzy handcuffs I’d say that my interest is piqued,” Logan offered up with a shrug.

“Piqued or not, we really don’t have time to take a trip down memory lane,” Scott dismissed Logan’s suggestion opting instead to move around the room refocused on something that Logan couldn’t quite read.

“Fine, then maybe we should skip over ancient history and talk about something a little closer to home. Let’s start with last night,” Logan suggested turning his attention to the bed he’d awakened in a short while earlier. For a moment, he found himself filled with memories of Scott in his arms, in the way that they seemed to finally be coming to a turning point only to return to the divide between them all over again.

“You should eat. We have a deadline ahead of us,” Scott suggested as his words sank in. A long, uncomfortable silence filled the room around them, leaving the both worlds apart as Logan found himself with more questions than answers. Looking around the room, Logan couldn’t help, but find himself focusing on the trash can again thinking about what was now missing from it.

“Right,” Logan frowned in frustration.

“Are you alright?” Scott questioned turning to face Logan with a concerned expression on his face, “I know that this is a lot to take. Last night’s situation took its toll on you and…”

“What happened last night?” Logan couldn’t help, but question pondering the way he’d awakened in Scott’s absence, “After Hill left, I mean I think I have a pretty good idea what we did, but…”

“We drank too much, which in retrospect was a terrible idea given that you were still coming down from the Euphoria,” Scott answered in a smooth, even tone. His jaw flexed with tension, his cheekbone tightening as his lips seemed to pinch tighter together. He spoke up in a smooth, distanced tone before looking away from Logan, “Given what we know about the side effects, I suppose it makes sense that your memory is a bit cloudy this morning. I read that could be something short term and…”

“That’s not exactly what I’m…” Logan opened his mouth to say something more when Scott returned to the window again. Something in the air between them shifted—taking them from ease and almost joking to something that felt significantly darker.

“Why don’t you remember the boy Logan?” Scott questioned drawing in a nervous breath. He kept his head down, pressed against the glass when a shudder carried over him once again, “Why don’t you remember Boston?”

“To answer that is complicated and…” Logan opened his mouth to say something more but found himself at a loss. Instead he moved forward stretching his hand out to place it over Scott’s shoulder. With a small squeeze, he felt jolts of electricity at the contact, bringing him closer to the reality of his second chance in this new life with Scott within his reach.

“It isn’t the Euphoria, is it?” Scott decided when the weight of his words caused Logan to pull away from him. Unable to contain his reaction, he took a few steps back bringing a distance between them as Scott kept his back to Logan, “You’re different now, aren’t you?”

Logan hesitated not quite sure what to say until the weight of his guilt carried over him, “I am.”

“I know,” Scott sighed allowing the moment to linger with his breath spilling from his lips out onto the glass all over again.

“I wanted to tell you. Last night I wanted you to know that…” Logan attempted to reason with him, but when nothing felt right, he stopped himself mid-sentence.

“It doesn’t matter,” Scott shrugged brushing Logan’s words off in an effort to avoid the conversation between them, “Last night we drank too much, had a few words and then…well, you know the rest.”

“Yeah, I do,” Logan nodded in agreement making his way over to Scott again. For a moment he half expected to take in his own scent lingering over Scott, but instead he was met by the crisp, clean scent of soap and shampoo giving nothing away about the night they’d shared, “But I mean…are you…”

“What?” Scott asked when Logan moved in closer to him.

“About us…about what we…” Logan cleared his throat preparing to say something more when there was a knock on the motel room door.

“That’s undoubtedly Agent Hill,” Scott pulled away, refraining from making contact between them.

“Scott…” Logan began finding himself at a loss. He made a small forward movement contemplating reaching out for Scott, but he rethought the gesture simply standing still on his spot in the middle of the run-down motel.

“Logan,” Scott seemed to hesitate. He paused in his movement giving weight to the things they weren’t saying to one another. It seemed for a brief instant that something more would happen, but instead he held firm in keeping his distance from Logan, “We’ve got a mission ahead of us now.”

“Scott I just…” Logan frowned feeling the moment between them pass when he watched Scott walk away. Dutifully Scott moved towards the door, taking with him any hopes Logan had about the night before when Scott opened the door to reveal Maria on the other side.

“You both better be ready to go because we’re leaving in less than five minutes,” Maria announced as Scott opened the motel room door, “I’ve got a ride set up for the three of us and…”

“I’m taking my car,” Scott answered in a neutral tone. He stood up taller still holding the motel room door as he stood firm in his positioning, “You’re more than welcome to ride with us, but I’m not leaving my car here.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Maria’s eyes shifted between Scott and Logan again. She tilted her head to the side giving the them a momentary observation before her gaze settled in on the containers on the tabletop, “Were you having breakfast?”

“Logan was about to eat,” Scott explained holding the door open wider to give her access to the motel room, “There is plenty of food if you’d like to join him.”

“No thank you,” Maria shook her head dismissively, “My team and I just had something at this café down the road where…”

“The crepes were the talk of the town,” Scott couldn’t help, but crack a grin as Maria focused on him once again.

“Best in county,” she answered knowingly before her eyes returned to the containers on the tabletop once again, “You bring some back here?”

Scott nodded, “Didn’t want Logan to miss out on the experience.”

“In that case,” Maria took a step back and nodded accordingly, “We can leave in ten minutes, but not a minute later.”

“Fair enough,” Scott agreed motioning over to the table once again, “You can still join us until it’s time to…”

“I have to let my team know we’ll be riding along in your car,” Maria decided after a second of contemplation, “Since Logan knows where we are going it makes sense for the three of us to travel together.”

“Absolutely,” Scott agreed in a business as usual tone, “I know my car is a little compact, but…”

“I’m sure Logan won’t mind sitting in the back,” Maria shot him a contemptuous glare before taking a step back out of the room, “See you in ten.”

“Ten it is,” Scott responded with a nod of his own leaving Maria to the task at hand. Once she was away from the door, Scott closed it and turned around to move over to the bed beside Logan’s once again.

“Slim…” Logan spoke up not quite sure what to say when he found himself at a loss in their exchange.

“You should eat up,” Scott suggested not bothering to look back over his shoulder at Logan. He collected his things, quickly pulling them into his arms before giving the room another brief once over, “I’m going to have to straighten up a few things in the backseat for the ride, but I promise I’ll do my best to make it comfortable for you. Hell, it might be tight space, but maybe you can sleep a bit on the ride out to Kingston.”

“Yeah, um, about that…” Logan cleared his throat, “Maybe I should be up front with you so that we can discuss where we are going and…”

“I’ve been to Kingston before,” Scott shook his head dismissively, “Once we get to near the warehouse you can be on point, but for now take advantage of the time to rest. You’ll need it if you are going to be in top shape after last night.”

“Scott…” Logan began again watching as Scott made his way over towards the doorway preparing to walk out of the motel room. He reached for the door attempting to pull it again when nervousness coiled in Logan’s abdomen, “wait.”

“What Logan?” Scott questioned impatiently. He looked over Logan’s shoulder, revealing a hint of something that felt a lot like regret and remorse over his perfectly sculpted features.

“It’s just…” Logan found himself at a loss when he thought about the night that he and Scott had put behind them. Just when it seemed that they’d made some ground with one another, it appeared that they were back to square one even more at odds with one another than they’d been the night before, “about before…”

“Forget about it,” Scott waved his hand dismissively, “seriously.”

“It’s just…” Logan strained to get the words out before he struggled to say something to make things less awkward. He fought against himself, giving Scott a long, yearning once over wishing like hell that he could have a do over of the night before with Scott in his arms, “with what I said before…”

“Logan…” Scott frowned tensing up at Logan’s words.

“I shouldn’t give you shit about your clothing,” Logan chickened out backing off the subject that was truly on his mind. Instead he spoke up, coming up with something completely off topic like a coward when Scott stood before him caught up in his own inner turmoil, “Just for the record I think you would look sexy even in a paper bag if it came to that.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that,” Scott replied with deadpan seriousness opening the motel room door. He crossed the threshold hesitating momentarily to turn to look over his shoulder at Logan once again to reveal the first hints of a teasing smirk. It lingered ever so subtle in its presence, but it was there as Scott’s gaze lingered upon Logan. For a second Logan thought that something more was happening, but before Logan could question it, Scott’s lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl, “You have ten minutes to finish up in here. Try not to be late this time.”

“Got it,” Logan replied watching Scott leave the motel room as he found himself preparing to face one of the most dangerous missions of his time in this new world. With so many questions and so little answers around him, Logan wondered if this place would ever truly feel like home. Seeing Scott move into the parking lot beyond the room, he found himself hoping above hope that whatever was happening between them would have a chance to flourish when everything was said and done. Despite the tension between them, Logan knew full well that he wasn’t about to let go of the one hope that had presented itself to him now that life had given him a second chance at starting over. 


	10. Recollection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan has a talk with an old friend and discovers some unsettling information about his former self.

**Recollection _:_** _the action or faculty of remembering something._

“Enjoy your sleep?” Clint Barton’s voice questioned breaking through Logan’s slumber causing him to sit upright in his seat with a jolt. As Logan looked up from the backseat of the SUV he’d been seated in, he found the Avenger staring at him with an amused expression on his face. Wordlessly Logan stretched his arms out, avoiding Clint’s expectant stare when his own gaze lingered to the window watching the mountains in the distance offering up a taste of the morning now that they were on the road to Kingston, “Because heaven knows the rest of us weren’t enjoying your snoring.”

“What?” Logan questioned. With a yawn, Logan noticed that the driver and the man in the passenger seat seemed disinterested in their conversation instead chatting about a sporting event that was being broadcast on the radio. As Clint sat at the far left side of the SUV in his seat watching Logan closely, Logan couldn’t help, but sit up straighter trying to recover from his impromptu nap, “What’s that?”

“You were snoring,” Clint repeated with a hint of laughter in his tone, “or should I say rumbling the SUV with that noise you were making. It sounded like a buzz saw.”

“Sorry,” Logan sat upright, bringing one hand through his wild, unruly hair, “I didn’t realize I was so tired. I guess I was still exhausted from…”

“A night of dealing with Cyclops in that dump you stayed in?” Clint questioned with mock teasing in his tone, “I can’t imagine how terrible that must’ve been.”

“The place left much to be desired,” Logan conceded looking to the man he hadn’t seen in what felt like years now that he’d found himself in a new world. In his old world, he and Clint had merely crossed paths a few times here and there exchanging a few barbs and beers, but in this one it seemed that they had more of a relationship with one another. Of course, as Logan watched the man beside him greeting him with amusement and a friendly laugh, Logan couldn’t help, but wonder just how deep his counterpart had been with the Avengers, “though it’s not the worst place I’ve ever been.”

“Somehow I don’t think I want to know about the worst place you’ve ever been,” Clint teased further, “Given your shady past, I can only imagine what kind of shithole you ended up in.”

“As if your past is so squeaky clean,” Logan tossed back at him wondering if he wasn’t off base in the comment. He hesitated for a moment seeing the deadpan expression on Clint’s face before Clint finally laughed louder than before.

“Touché,” Clint chortled with amusement, “I think it’s safe to say we’ve both been in some pretty sketchy places through the years—sometimes working together.”

“Right,” Logan nodded sitting up straighter and thinking about Scott’s mentioning Logan’s history with the Avengers, “I guess that’s what you get for being all work and no play.”

“There’s always time for play,” Clint added with a cryptic smirk, “Life is boring if there isn’t room for it.”

“I’ll concede to that one,” Logan agreed shifting on the seat he’d found comfort in a short time earlier. While he hadn’t really given weight to his exhaustion before the ride, the aftereffects of the night he put behind him had finally seemed to catch up to him leading him to an unexpected nap on their way to Kingston.

“You look like you’ve been through hell,” Clint noted when his tone grew suddenly serious, “You look like shit.”

“Thanks bub,” Logan scoffed with a scowl, “You aren’t exactly looking at the top of your game yourself now.”

“That’s because I’ve been working nonstop around the clock moving from one mission to another,” Clint rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, “If just feels like as time goes on, there’s more of the bureaucratic bs to work through and less down time.”

“I won’t argue that,” Logan agreed with a sigh thinking about the mission he’d thrust himself into readily in his attempt to avoid what he’d been feeling in this new world where everything was so different than the place he’d left behind.

“I heard you’ve been busy after your world turned upside down,” Clint prompted him after a moment’s hesitation, “Sounds like you’ve had a lot more going on than most of us as of late.”

“What do you mean?” Logan asked wearily wondering just what Clint was getting at now that the Avenger was eyeing him expectantly.

“With the trials,” Clint finished knowingly when the two men in the front seats started to argue about the game they were listening to. When it seemed that they were caught up in their bickering, Clint leaned in closer to Logan with a curious expression on his face, “From what I heard through the rumor mill, that stuff has been pretty intense for you.”

“Right,” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth.

“I can’t even imagine what an assignment like that must feel like for you,” Clint continued to ramble on, “When Maria filled me in on what was happening behind closed doors with those volunteers back at that club, I couldn’t believe that it was all happening under the radar. Then in learning that you agreed to do all of this…I mean I know you’ve had a death wish for years, but it seems crazy to just dive in there like that. I can’t believe that you just did it without any real kind of backup.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Logan divulged thinking about all that had taken place since he’d entered into this arrangement to help Norm. Now as he sat beside the Avenger, he found himself at a loss wondering what the day ahead of them would bring now that Maria had made it her mission to shut down Markus. Remembering the brief phone call Logan had listened to in Scott’s car, he couldn’t help, but find himself fearing for what might lie ahead should Markus cross paths with Scott again, “Doesn’t matter now though.”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t now that your cover is blown,” Clint agreed reaching down between them to touch the tip of his bow, “Then again it was bound to happen sooner or later. You aren’t exactly subtle when you enter a mission. I’m surprised your cover wasn’t blown sooner with your notorious reputation.”

“Yeah, undercover work isn’t my favorite part of the job, but there are times when you have to do what you need to in order to get the job done,” Logan grudgingly agreed. He scratched the side of his face and attempted to sit up straighter in his seat, feeling the weight of his adamantium laced bones creaking with each movement he made, “Still it’s not how I anticipated it going when I signed up for all of this.”

“When does it ever go the way that we want it to?” Clint offered up with a small, amused laugh before reaching into the small knapsack he’d brought with him. He pulled out a half-eaten bag of honey roasted peanuts. Without hesitation Clint popped some of them into his own mouth, chewing loudly as Logan readjusted his position in the seat beside him, “Then again when it gets down to the job, it’s the result that matters most, right?”

“That’s what they keep telling us,” Logan yawned stretching out on his seat. He closed his eyes for a moment listening to the sound of Clint crunching on the peanuts before he let out a loud impatient sigh.

“Still kicks your ass though, doesn’t it? To be so close to completing your objective only to have to regroup at the last second into something new,” Clint chomped leaning in closer to him once again. This time he held out the bag silently offering some of the nuts to Logan. When Logan shook his head in refusal, Clint shrugged and lifted the bag to his lips opting to pour the remaining nuts into his mouth without a second thought. Setting the bag down into his knapsack again, Clint spoke up in between garbled bites of his snack, “Rumor has it that Euphoria does some wild things to your psyche.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Logan shrugged finding the strength to ignore Clint’s chewing long enough to focus on the mission ahead of him, “It didn’t really have much of an impact on me.”

“No? Nothing?” Clint arched a curious brow.

“Nothing,” Logan lied unwilling to reveal any information beyond the basics to his companion regardless of their team status with one another.

“That’s good because some of the stuff I was hearing was pretty bad for those with mutations,” Clint finally nodded taking in Logan’s words. He gave Logan a very long, complete once over as if he was scrutinizing him in the moment, “We ran into a dealer a couple of weeks ago on the street and the guy was pretty strung out himself. He believed he was the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln and the things he was saying…”

“I can only imagine,” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth watching Clint hold the bag up again to collect the broken crumbs from the bottom of the previously discarded bag.

“It was bad,” Clint confessed lowering his voice as to keep the conversation between them, “We had to go to extremes to talk him off the ledge so to speak, but even then… I had no idea just how bad the situation was or how far it had gone in its distribution.”

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Logan noted wondering if Clint had been privy to the truth about just where the distribution had begun once the government had taken over the labs once meant to distribute solely for local dealers on the black market, “You’d be surprised at the things that the world doesn’t want you to see about Euphoria’s pull upon it.”

“Yeah,” Clint nodded, “I kind of figured as much given how tense Maria was earlier. She seemed like the weight of the world was on her shoulders when she recruited us on this mission.”

“She recruited you specifically?” Logan arched a curious brow.

“Yeah, well, you know how persistent she is when she wants something out of you,” Clint nodded again when a small smirk teased over the corners of his lips, “I was about to take some time off, but when she said she needed me, well, how could I say no especially to something as intriguing as this mission could prove to be?”

“As far as I knew we were doing a simply raid should a warrant come in after some surveillance,” Logan noted thinking about the details he’d glossed over with Maria Hill the previous evening about the data retrieval that they’d hoped to encounter.

“We both know it runs deeper than that,” Clint glanced over at the two in the front seat again before crumbling up the empty bag in his hand. He clenched it in his fist squeezing it with just enough force to make a popping sound with the crunching aluminum bag he held onto, “It sounds like Markus is a real piece of work with the way he put her and Cyclops through the ringer last night. She was all shaken up after you two left the club like you did.”

“She spoke with you about Markus?” Logan couldn’t help but arch a curious brow in catching the expression on Clint’s face. Looking to his companion, Logan spotted the wedding ring on his finger, but there was something in the tone of Clint’s voice that caused Logan to question Clint’s newfound closeness to Maria in this universe, “I didn’t realize you two were at the point of exchanging that kind of information.”

“What do you mean?” Clint swallowed down hard. His expression shifted again revealing a moment of concern before Clint pulled back with a low cough. He sat up straighter in his seat, attempting to push out whatever thoughts had overtaken him when Logan began questioning him.

“I just meant that I wasn’t aware that you were a part of her team on this operation,” Logan shrugged his shoulders watching as Clint’s throat bounced with relief at Logan’s deduction.

“Right, yeah,” Clint brought one hand up over the back of his neck attempting to ease some of the tension that Logan’s questions were proving to bring up in him, “she needed another pair of eyes on this one, so I volunteered.”

“Really?” Logan questioned seeing the way that Clint’s eyes shifted around the SUV. He was undoubtedly nervous, clearly uneasy with Logan’s questioning when Logan watched Clint push his hand over his wedding ring again, covering it for a few brief seconds when Clint looked down at his bag again. Deciding not to push it further, Logan changed direction of their conversation, “What did she say to you?”

“She mentioned the trials and glossed over the details in a quick briefing. Granted I still have a lot of questions, but for now, there is one major detail in all of this that is on my mind that supersedes this mission today,” Clint divulged giving Logan another long once over.

“What’s that?” Logan questioned gruffly.

“It’s just that I’m a bit puzzled about you being here today like you are,” Clint paused reaching into his knapsack again he pulled out a bottle of water before offering it to Logan. For a moment Logan hesitated, contemplating Clint’s offer before he finally reached out to accept the bottle. A moment later Clint was leaning forward with his face buried in the knapsack before him searching through it, “because the last time I saw you, you said you were done with this dog and pony show. You said that you had enough of the politics—said you were finished. That you were finally out.”

“When did I say that?” Logan questioned turning to give his companion a long once over. He watched as Clint sat upright pulling out his own bottle of water and twisting off the top of it.

“The last time we all went out drinking together you got a little too animated about the last mission you were on. You know after that thing for Cap in Atlantic City?” Clint stated pointedly. He raised the bottle to his lips taking a long swig of the cool liquid before lowering the bottle again. Tipping his head to the side, he issued Logan a long, contemplative once over, “I didn’t really believe it at the time, but you sounded so serious about leaving the team.”

“The Avengers?”

“No, the X-Men,” Clint clarified looking up from his lap and towards Logan once again.

“Leaving the X-Men?” Logan repeated with wide eyes, “Why would I be leaving?”

“That’s what I wanted to know, but you weren’t really providing answers. You were vague when I asked why, but you were full on serious about it.”

“About leaving the team?” Logan pondered what Clint was saying to him.

“It sounds crazy I know, but you were adamant that it was over. You might’ve had more than a few beers in you, but you were very explicit in your logic and reasoning about how this time was the last time because you had been pushed too far,” Clint divulged lowering his voice as the two agents in the front were still listening to the sports broadcast on the radio. When it was clear that they still had no interest in what Logan and Clint were speaking of, Clint leaned in closer to him to speak up in a muted tone, “You told me you had more than enough of Summers and his tyrannical reign over the X-Men. You said that you were done following his orders. You said that you were tired of dealing with his pompous bullshit, so you can imagine my surprise when I showed up today to discover that not only were you a part of the X-Men, but that you two were still working together especially on something as big as this.”

“Well I…” Logan frowned wondering what his counterpart had said in his anger before Logan had arrived. From what Logan gathered it seemed that the other Logan’s anger had been brewing for a while, building up until what Logan suspected was the thing that Scott kept referencing in Boston. Although he couldn’t be sure, in learning of his counterpart’s rage with his teammate, he found himself intrigued to learn more about the man whose shoes he’d filled, “You know how I am when I’m drinking. I let my mouth get the best of me.”

“Don’t we all know it, but let’s face it we both knew it was never going to happen. You were full of shit when you said it,” Clint cracked a grin. With a laugh, he shook his head and leaned back in his seat with a shrug, “You always talk big when it comes to Summers. You’ve done so for years, but every time you say you’re finished with him and the team, you prove that simply isn’t the case.”

“Why would I be finished with…?” Logan stopped himself before rethinking his words and his approach with his companion, “I mean Summers can be frustrating at times, sure, but…”

“Summers is an asshole. We both know that,” Clint pointed out with a small laugh and an elbow jab to Logan’s ribs as if there was a secret meaning to Clint’s words. When Logan didn’t quite catch on, Clint seemed oblivious to Logan’s confusion as he continued to ramble on, “We’ve known it for years.”

“Be that as it may, he’s one hell of a leader,” Logan countered thinking about his relationship with Scott in this new world.

“I’m not saying he isn’t, but at the same time he’s the only person that I’ve seen that gets you that worked up. Don’t get me wrong you’re also the person I know who flies off the handle the most, but there’s something about him specifically that gets you going. Every time the two of you disagree, there is just something volatile about it.”

“Volatile, huh?” Logan scratched his chin lightly taking in Clint’s words.

“Let’s just say that the rest of us want to be as far away as possible during the fireworks and far from the aftermath,” Clint informed him with a small shudder, “It’s a wonder that you haven’t killed one another at this point.”

“That’s just for show,” Logan couldn’t help, but offer up a nervous laugh, “We always talk big, but…”

“It’s more than that,” Clint shook his head and sighed, “Then again, you’ve always written it off by saying that he’s an asshole that lacks any kind of emotional availability when he’s focused on a mission. We’ve all seen he’s like a damned machine—stone cold and distanced from the world around him to the point of making everyone around him uncomfortable in each encounter.”

“He might be an asshole, but I respect the hell out of him,” Logan paused weighing out his words after Clint’s admission. Sensing there was no love lost between Clint and Scott, Logan attempted to try a new approach with his companion. Tipping his head to the side, he couldn’t help, but reveal a small grin over in Clint’s direction, “Plus I’m a bit of an asshole myself.”

“Remember you said it not me,” Clint cracked a smirk before taking another drink of his water.

“You were thinking it,” Logan noted catching the expression on Clint’s face. With a laugh Logan popped the top off his water bottle and took a long, hearty swig.

The cool liquid swirled down Logan’s dry throat reminding him of how much he hadn’t really taken the time to get a good start in the morning. Once Scott was out the door, he’d quickly pushed the breakfast Scott had gotten for him down his throat and tried to enjoy the delicious, but soggy crepes that Scott had sworn by. However, in knowing that Scott and Maria were waiting for him, he tried to make it quick rushing to join them only to discover just how small the backseat of Scott’s sportscar truly was. It was in that moment that he’d decided to take the ride with Clint in the others leaving Scott and Maria to deal with whatever shop talk they wanted to get into on their own.

“Touché,” Clint nodded with a laugh of his own, “but even so…this, well it was one of the last things I expected to be sitting here talking about with you today.”

“Me being an asshole?” Logan questioned with an amused smirk.

“No,” Clint shook his head readily, “We’re all used to that by now, but I mean the stuff with you and Summers still working together. It was just surprising that’s all.”

“Why is that so surprising? He and I have been at it for years,” Logan stated plainly.

“Yeah, we’ve all heard it,” Clint groaned outwardly, “which is why I think we were all hoping that the more time you spent with our team, the less you would obsess about it, but it seems like the more time you spent away from him, the angrier you were.”

“Why would you say that? Because I was angry at Scott during a night of drinking?” Logan tried to push further for the hidden details of the life that he hadn’t been privy to. Thinking about the tension that was clearly there between Scott and his counterpart, he couldn’t help, but question just what had pushed the other him to swear off his time with the X-Men once and for all, “I mean when haven’t I been pissed off at him after I’ve had one too many? You know how I get caught up in word vomit and…”

“That’s true, but it was different that night. I couldn’t quite pinpoint it at the time, but this seemed more personal.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know,” Clint shrugged reaching inside of his bag for a candy bar. He tore open the package before holding it out towards Logan, “Want some?”

“No thanks,” Logan placed his hand over his abdomen, “I had a huge breakfast before we left.”

“I didn’t realize that was the kind of place that offered room service,” Clint wrinkled his nose at the thought of Logan’s meal in the run-down motel.

“It wasn’t room service,” Logan explained thinking about the things Scott had returned to the motel with earlier in the morning, “Slim brought back some takeout and…”

“Slim huh?” Clint teased.

“What?” Logan questioned gruffly.

“Nothing,” Clint raised his hands up in the air, “I just haven’t heard you refer to him as that in a long time.”

“Yeah, well, you never know where life will take you,” Logan shrugged his shoulders simply, “As it stands it was a pretty decent meal and…”

“I’m surprised that you weren’t weary of him feeding you,” Clint joked again with an air of seriousness in his tone.

“I have a healing factor. What is he going to do to me?” Logan remarked with a scoff before rethinking his words, “Not that I would anticipate him doing anything to my food in the first place, but…”

“No, I get it,” Clint nodded in response, “The dark days are behind you for now.”

“Right,” Logan agreed looking off into the distance beyond the safety of the vehicle they were traveling in. He watched as the sky brightened revealing shades of amber and pink in the distance giving weight to the rising sun. Still as he took in the scent of the world beyond the SUV, he could smell something on the horizon. It wasn’t there quite yet, but there was that sense of dampness in the air and the first hint of darkening clouds that left him to wonder just what kind of weather the day would provide them in their journey, “So I really told you that I was going to quit the X-Men?”

“You don’t remember?” Clint arched a curious brow when Logan turned to face him once again.

“If I was drinking, I’m sure there was a lot happening that I couldn’t remember,” Logan remarked flippantly hoping to play off his curiosity as nothing more than casual conversation, “I mean it’s rare that I get full on drunk, but I’m not beyond buzzing on most encounters to the point where things start to blur a bit.”

“I mean yeah, I could see that. After a few dozen beers you always let loose on what you are thinking. A lot of the time you start saying ridiculous things, but that last time,” Clint eyed him suspiciously. He finished off his water opting to set the empty bottle in the holder in the door beside him, “You were really pissed. I’d never seen you that upset about things as you were that night at the bar. You and Summers had just finished up with some run in Boston not long before and you were on edge. You seemed unsettled by the outcome of the mission.”

“In Boston,” Logan repeated finding himself suddenly curious about the conversation after Scott had brought up Boston on more than one occasion, “How so?”

“It was just…” Clint hesitated, “different. When you were at the bar, you’d probably gone through about half a keg at the point the team met up with you. You were spouting off about how you were done this time. You talked about how this time Summers had pushed you too far and you were finished. Steve pulled you aside once you got going and tried to calm you down, but you weren’t having it. Eventually you tried to start a fist fight with him and…”

“With Captain America?” Logan’s eyes widened at the possibility of his other self deciding to instigate a fight with Steve Rogers, “I started a fist fight with Captain America?”

“I said you tried,” Clint reminded him pointedly, “but by the end of the night you said you were through with Cyclops and the X-Men. You said that he’d crossed one too many lines and this time there was no reconciling the differences between you—said whatever happened in Boston had pushed you too far and you were finished.”

“Right,” Logan frowned thinking about what could’ve transpired between him and Scott back in Boston. Given Scott’s concerns about the situation, something told him that it had been very bad between them. Only it wasn’t him as he realized he was trapped in another man’s life holding onto his own memories of an old life where none of this had ever been meant to come into play.

“The guys and I thought you were full of shit when you stomped out of the bar cursing Summers like you did. Hell, we even put a wager on it to see how long it would take for you to return to the X-Men as a yes man again given your unwavering loyalty to Cyclops and the cause, but you swore it was the end. You said on that last mission he’d gone too far. You almost convinced us all that you were really done this time, yet here you are at his side and…” Clint stopped himself with a laugh, “I suppose it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?”

“No, I suppose it doesn’t,” Logan agreed contemplating just what it was that the other him and Scott had fought about back in Boston. Part of him wanted to push Clint further, to question Clint about his counterpart and what had transpired that night at the bar, but knowing it wouldn’t serve any further purpose going forward with his agenda with Scott, he opted to let the past go long enough to stay focused on the present. Drawing in a breath Logan attempted to steer the conversation back to where it should be, “Not when we have this mission ahead of us. That’s the most important part of all of this.”

“Right,” Clint nodded in agreement. He reached for his bow, holding it proudly as he ran his fingers along the top of it, “this should be a piece of cake right.”

“Sure,” Logan replied still pondering just what could’ve transpired to piss the other him off as much as it sounded like it did back before his arrival, “I mean I don’t expect it to be super easy, but…”

“You’ve dealt with this Markus guy for a while, right?” Clint questioned with a more business as usual tone in his voice. He scratched his chin lightly before looking to Logan for information, “I was told that you had this under control with whatever this is.”

“Let’s hope so,” Logan mouthed to himself. He tipped his head to the side looking out of the tinted windows as he found himself wondering just what was going on with Scott and Maria in Scott’s car. A part of him had wanted to go along for the ride with the two of them—to keep an eye on what was happening, but after taking in the tiny backseat of Scott’s car along with the tension that existed in the room between him and Scott, he’d opted to give Scott some breathing room to get things in order. It seemed like the appropriate response as they headed to the next part of their mission armed and ready for whatever nightmare Markus would have waiting for them at the warehouse.

“So, what are we getting into exactly Logan?” Clint questioned breaking through his thoughts.

“What?”

“Maria said she needed help. She implied that this was very serious business, but she held back on explaining it to me completely. When I pressed her about it, I was just told I had a job to do,” Clint leaned in closer to him. His eyes were divided by concern and his words were barely above a whisper, but the worry was still there shining through, “Sure, I was given some of the basics, but I really didn’t have the time to get briefed on this other than the few details that were thrown at me about the trials you were a part of.”

“We’re just going there for an information grab from what I’ve been told,” Logan paused thinking about the conversation he and Scott had with one another earlier in the morning, “Did anyone talk to you about any of that?”

Clint shrugged, “I heard a little bit about who Markus was, about that club being torn apart when you and Summers left it, but other than that, well, we didn’t get too deep about it.”

“You are on a need to know basis,” Logan noted thinking about the mission they were about to blindly enter into in their mission, “Classic Hill, huh?”

“Pretty much,” Clint shrugged leaning back in his seat caught up in his own thoughts. For a moment Logan wondered if Clint was focusing on something beyond the mission, but almost as soon as the thought seemed to consume him, Clint shrugged and looked over at Logan again, “Not that I’m complaining, but she doesn’t keep her cards this close if you know what I mean. Don’t get me wrong she’s always kept this distance about her, but with Maria…”

“Clint?” Logan questioned watching his companion struggle with his thoughts.

“She’s just…” Clint hesitated nervously, “She’s usually more open with me about what’s going on, but when she refused to talk about what’s going on, it meant there’s something more happening which doesn’t always sit well with me.”

“Nothing about any of this sits well with me,” Logan divulged thinking about Markus and his newfound interest in Scott, “We’re about to walk into the hornet’s nest and there’s no telling what the outcome will be if this doesn’t go the way that Hill is planning on it being.”

“What is the plan exactly? What is she walking us into today?” Clint arched a curious brow prompting Logan for more information that Logan himself had no clue what the result would be.

“I wish I knew,” Logan divulged worriedly as he thought about Markus and his mysterious phone call to Scott, “but whatever it is something tells me no good will come out of it.”

“Does Cyclops know what he’s doing?” Clint questioned catching Logan off guard with his words. Tilting his head up to look at the man beside him, Logan watched as Clint struggled to put his words together, “I mean I know Maria is supposedly in charge, but in seeing him here working with her like he’s been doing, I’m guessing that he’s also running the show. You know him better than the rest of us do. Does he have any idea of what kind of danger he’s having us walk into today?”

“Scott’s always three steps ahead of the rest of us when it comes to getting his head in the game,” Logan admitted wondering if Scott had any real idea of the danger they were about to enter into now that Markus had made it his mission to keep his tabs on Scott and what he was doing.

“You don’t sound so convinced of that,” Clint noted eyeing Logan expectantly, “Given what you said before…”

“I would follow Cyclops to hell if he asked it of me,” Logan offered up readily thinking about what he stood to lose should things go sour on their mission, “The man has my unwavering support on whatever plan he’s putting together with Hill.”

“Forgive me if I’m not entirely convinced of that,” Clint leaned back in his seat. He raised a water bottle to his lips taking a long drink of the cool liquid and leaving Logan to ponder just how volatile his relationship with Scott had been in this new world. Given Clint’s lack of trust in the situation and the stories Logan had heard, he found himself wondering just what the other him had missed about the man at his side.

“Cyclops is a total professional,” Logan clarified thinking about his connection to the man who was following their SUV preparing to enter into the unknown with a force that went beyond any of them, “He doesn’t go halfway on anything.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Clint spoke up behind gritted teeth, “If he takes us into the fire…”

“Then we find a way not to get burned. That’s all there is to it,” Logan explained hoping to reassure his companion of the mission ahead of them, “Whatever we need to do we’ll get it done and when it’s over we’ll crack open a few beers to celebrate.”

“You’re on,” Clint agreed readily as Logan found himself wondering just what dangers were ahead of them at the warehouse Markus had tucked away from the rest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. Life events have kept me from doing so, but rest assured that there will be more updates soon. :)


	11. Cooperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Maria hash it out over the situation they've found themselves in and grudgingly reach an understanding with one another.

**Cooperation:** _the process of working together to the same end._

“So, tell me Scott, how long you have been sleeping with Logan?” Maria’s impatient voice questioned as Scott pulled off the main highway to the interchange. He accelerated his car, adjusting his speed on the curve when Maria’s words served to be a pressure point in their conversation. A long silence followed her question leaving the door open to his response, but he simply kept moving his car along the road keeping his thoughts on what they might have ahead of them in Kingston. He could feel the weight of her eyes upon him, the expectant glare she was giving him, but he wasn’t taking the bait. Instead he kept his eyes forward attempting to focus on the mission at hand, “Well?”

“I don’t believe that is pertinent to this investigation,” Scott answered dismissively as his fingers clenched the steering wheel tighter than before, “We both know coming into this case that…”

“Last night you acted on impulse in that club,” Maria pointed out scrutinizing him with a frown, “You weren’t thinking about the long-term and it wound up causing a situation because you let emotion get in the way of our objective.”

“Our objective?” Scott repeated arching a curious brow. He glanced over at her briefly before focusing on the road once again, “You gave me half stories and made up tales about your intentions on this mission without delivering any clear objective. I would say for someone who is notorious for planning everything down to the last detail, that was a rather reckless move on your part. You seemed to step away from your usual methods giving way to impulse, yet somehow it is easier to say that I’m responsible for the disaster that followed.”

“You tore that place apart when you and Logan escaped,” Maria reminded him with a huff.

“I wouldn’t have had to take such extreme lengths if you’d been up front with me about the fact that Logan was working undercover as a volunteer,” he answered pointedly. Keeping his eyes on the government vehicle in front of them, Scott attempted to keep his cool composure with her at his side, “We were both playing a dangerous game last night Agent Hill—one that ended up putting us into one another’s inner circle, so before we return to assigning blame, how about we get straight to the heart of the matter on this?”

“It begins with you disclosing the nature of your relationship with Wolverine so that I can be prepared for the fallout as this mission progresses,” Maria grumbled shifting on the seat beside him, “Is it going to be a problem for us going forward?”

“Again, I don’t see how that line of questioning is pertinent to…” Scott mouthed keeping his fingers wrapped around the steering wheel in a tight grip. Revealing nothing about his thoughts, he found himself focused on what would await their arrival in Kingston.

“We both know that being too emotionally involved in a case can cause a problem in the investigation if…” she attempted to explain to him.

“So, you’re trying to imply that you’re not too emotionally involved in this case? How long was it again that you’ve been working on this particular mission?” Scott questioned casting a curious glance over at her.

“Longer than it took for you to go in last night and send it crashing apart at the seams,” she mouthed with a distinct air of sarcasm in her tone, “A lot of good men wound up in awful places for us to be able to get that close to Markus.”

“And when we did, what was the endgame?” Scott questioned point blank, “What were we really supposed to be doing there?”

“You were supposed to be taking a tour of the facility and…” Maria’s voice grew distanced indicating that whatever ground Scott had hoped to make between them was practically an impossibility at this point.

“You’ve been working Markus for a long time hoping to get closer,” Scott countered catching the way that her jaw flexed with tension, “He’d indicated as much in his office when…”

“It was important that we kept things focused on the plan and…”

“The plan that you refused to reveal to me the moment you took me on as a partner,” Scott reminded her with a huff, “If anything the moment you decided to step away from your strategy by bringing me in, it should’ve been time for at the very least some disclosure between us in all of this instead of the games and…”

“Nothing about this is a game,” she answered stiffly, “You of all people should be reasonable enough to realize that this is quite serious.”

“So much so that perhaps the lines got blurred for you in dealing with the situation,” Scott gauged her reaction watching in silence. Her fingers balled up into fists over the seat of the car and she looked forward refusing to address him. Staying silent, she gritted her teeth, unable to convince him that last night’s failure hadn’t held a deeper meaning for her in her investigation, “You aren’t perhaps a little wound up too tightly on this one and that isn’t clouding your judgment?”

“My judgment has been perfectly clear. When I set out to run a mission, there is no room for error. Everything is planned down to the last detail meticulously with nothing left to chance. Emotion plays no hand in that—ever,” Maria snapped back uncurling her fists and attempting to regain her composure in the front seat of his luxury sports car on their journey with one another, “I’ve been the upmost professional and…”

“Who are you trying to convince?” Scott tossed back at her flippantly, “Me or you?”

“Look Summers,” she pinched her lips together in a small, agitated hiss. Her fingers curled into fists at her side again while she expelled a sharp, agitated breath. Her nostrils began to flare as she pinched her lips together revealing the first hint of losing her cool to Scott. He pretended not to notice instead keeping his eyes on the road ahead of him, “I don’t answer to you. This is my investigation and if it wasn’t for you and your boyfriend…”

“When are you going to start being straight with me about what’s really happening here?” Scott countered refusing to offer up any personal information to her about his relationship with Logan, “With all this meticulous planning, how about we cut through the bullshit and get down to what’s really going on here? Why don’t we begin with that?”

“I’d rather center in on damage control to discuss you and Logan given the clusterfuck you left me to deal with back at that club. Last night you both proved that your reliability isn’t what it once was. You’re usually smarter than what you revealed at that club.”

“At the club I was blindsided by a mission where I was expected to make impromptu decisions on a whim without being informed about any of what was truly happening,” Scott reminded her with a shake of his head, “I think it hardly fair to criticize my performance when I wasn’t given any kind of intel on the situation.”

“I told you plenty about what we were doing there,” Maria reminded him with a huff, “I offered up a small briefing and…”

“How much of what you told me was the truth last night?” Scott tossed back at her unable to mask the growing agitation in his tone, “I feel like you’re moving around in circles in all of this leaving me to speculate on what is truly going on with Markus.”

“You know what’s happening with Markus,” she frowned back at him.

“Maria,” Scott spoke her name more sternly, “what are we really doing going out to Kingston today?”

“We’re collecting the information that you were unable to obtain last night when…”

“You couldn’t give a damn about collecting that information,” Scott continued with a curious expression on his face, “Given your association with Markus, you could’ve done away with that information or collected it long before we ran into one another. There was a reason you were holding back.”

“The only thing I’m holding back on at the moment is truly giving you a piece of my mind after you…”

“Cut the games,” Scott interrupted in a firm, commanding tone, “Don’t we owe it to one another to just be honest from here on out? Haven’t we earned enough of a mutual professional respect to give each other the courtesy of honesty on what’s happening here?”

“Fine, if that’s how you want to play it. I’ll start with reiterating what I said before. This thing with you and Logan…it isn’t going to be a problem on this mission, is it?” Maria questioned refusing to budge in her position.

“Not at all,” Scott answered in a cool, distanced tone keeping his eyes on the road ahead of him, “Logan and I are both focused when the time calls for it.”

“And your wife? Is she aware that the both of you are…?” Maria began to ask stepping into inappropriate territory once again in her line of questioning.

“My wife isn’t a part of this mission,” Scott answered in a smooth and even tone revealing nothing about his thoughts of Jean.

“Even so…” she pushed further.

“I think it’s pretty clear that we have a communication barrier between us for the time being,” Scott ignored Maria’s questioning in favor of pushing their conversation forward in a new direction.

Two cars distance ahead of his sportscar, he could see the dark colored SUV that Logan had opted to go with the other agents to their location with. Once Logan had seen the backseat of Scott’s car, he’d been more than ready to accept the ride with the others leaving Scott and Maria to face the aftermath of their failed mission together. At first their ride had been simply surrounded by the silence beyond the smooth jazz tunes on the radio, but now it seemed Maria had other ideas of how to fill the time and space between them.

“Is this really the direction you think we need to take in this partnership at this point?” Scott questioned.

“You tell me,” Maria suggested shifting in the passenger seat of Scott’s sportscar. When it seemed that neither one of them was ready to offer up answers, she shifted gears on their conversation, “Do you think Logan’s intel pans out?”

“Of course, it does,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, “We wouldn’t be headed to Kingston if it didn’t. We both know that.”

“Even so,” Maria seemed to hesitate clearly caught up in the approach she wanted to take with Scott, “has he opened up to you about anything that was taking place during the trials that might be of interest to us? Any specific details that we should be aware of?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Scott countered keeping his eyes on the road, “If you have questions for Logan…”

“I’d rather ask you,” Maria interrupted with a huff, “While Logan is notorious for getting the job done in a great many cases, you don’t beat around the bush. You tell it like it is and…”

“Why would I offer you anything after the runaround you gave me last night?” Scott questioned glancing over at her once again, “Why would I want to share Logan’s secrets with you—assuming that he told me anything in the first place…”

“You’re sleeping with him,” Maria pointed out once again as if she was merely stating the obvious in Scott’s situation leaving Scott to wonder if Maria had perhaps sent someone to do surveillance on them the previous evening at the motel. Still, it was of no consequence as Scott refused to reveal any of his thoughts to his companion, “Surely that would make you privy to…”

“All of his secrets?” Scott laughed lightly, unable to contain his amusement in Maria’s assumption, “What would make you believe that sex would bring about that kind of intimacy between two people…assuming Logan and I were having it with each other? Logan isn’t exactly forthcoming in sharing his information especially when he’s on a top-secret assignment.”

“Be that as it may you are his team leader,” Maria reminded him.

“I don’t refute that, but this wasn’t a mission sanctioned by my team,” Scott added with a small shake of his head, “I should be the one that is questioning you on Logan’s actions given that someone inside of your agency clearly gave him clearance and…”

“Logan’s involvement on this case was not run through my department,” she interrupted attempting to explain her involvement in the situation, “Until very recently I had very little knowledge of the depth of his involvement and…”

“Now you’re hoping that I can fill in the blanks,” Scott finished for her, “Interesting.”

“Tell me you wouldn’t do the same if you were in my position Summers,” Maria softened her tone, “Logan’s a wild card and given the nature of this investigation…”

“Perhaps you should’ve paid more attention to his involvement in the first place,” Scott quipped in a blatant attempt to convey his distain for the case they were wrapped up in.

“Perhaps we can work on remedying that situation with you helping me fill in the blanks. What has Logan shared with you about the trials?”

“Again, Logan isn’t exactly forthcoming with information when it doesn’t pertain to our situation and…”

“Be that as it may we both know that with you the rules change for him. Anyone who has ever met him can see that,” Maria shifted on her seat to look over at Scott directly, “He’s spent most of his time as an enigma about a great many things, but he’s been more open about his position regarding you given that he didn’t want you to be a part of this mission.”

“Logan doesn’t like taking orders,” Scott shrugged keeping his hands on the steering wheel, “I represent authority in his life and…”

“A complication that keeps him from thinking objectively. He might be an Avenger as well as a part of the X-Men team, but he’s a loose cannon,” Maria reminded him with a knowing pause, “He’s always been a hothead who stabs first without fear of consequence, but he’s too close to the situation with you around. Your presence makes him emotional and unpredictable.”

“Then why did you suggest bringing me along on the mission?” Scott challenged looking over at her once again.

“Because despite what happened last night, Logan’s a wildcard and you represent stability in any operation that you’re on,” she paused contemplating her words, “You’ve been around the block before in being diplomatic. You’re smart Summers. You know when to speak up and when to stand down.”

“Then you take me for a yes man?” Scott inquired watching as the road up ahead began to wind, taking his sportscar on an uphill climb towards the top of the peak beyond where they were.

“I know that you’ve spent years in the system training in ways that others might not be able to comprehend. Logan is about emotion, but you are diplomacy,” she clarified further, “You know when to open your mouth and when…”

“To tell Logan to shut up?” Scott finished looking over at her for a brief, amused moment.

“Assuming he’d listen in the first place,” Maria quipped unable to hide the beginnings of the grin teasing over the corners of her mouth.

“He wouldn’t at first,” Scott laughed lightly unable to deny Logan’s penchant for insubordination, “but I’d still try if need be.”

“It isn’t so much about keeping him in line,” she divulged placing her hands on her lap, “We both know that will never happen. He’s not about to let anyone tell him what to do.”

“And yet he’s got a position with the Avengers and has more experience with what Markus is doing than either one of us at this point in time,” Scott pointed out with a shake of his head.

“Ironic isn’t it?” Maria agreed with a slight hint of laughter in her voice, “The one who is the most informed is the one that could blow this entire investigation out of the water should the wind blow in the wrong direction.”

“Which is probably why you should’ve spent time with him this morning discussing what lies ahead,” Scott suggested thinking about Logan’s involvement in the trials, “He’s more aware than any of us about what was taking place in that club. My only exposure was last night and…”

“You gained more intel last night from Markus than I’ve been able to pick up on in the last year and a half. He’s always been guarded, but there was something about you that made him reach out. He found something in you that made him go against his code to let you in.”

“You call that letting me in?” Scott couldn’t mask his surprise.

“Until last night Markus refused to do that which makes you even more valuable to this mission,” she confessed revealing something deeper in her words, but she seemed to rethink it when she cleared her throat, “Plus Logan’s a pain in the ass. He’s damn near impossible to work with and…”

“Welcome to my world,” Scott joked thinking about his unique relationship with Logan, but before he allowed his thoughts to move in the wrong direction, he shook the words forming on his lips. Instead he gripped the steering wheel tighter than before, “He’s unruly, but he knows how to get in line if need be when the situation calls for it.”

“We both know he’s also more of an act first, think later person,” she reminded him with a shake of her head, “Having him there in those trials was risky at best given that an agent with more experience and training might’ve been a better choice. I’m surprised he was able to push his way through the system without raising a red flag given his penchant for theatrics and wild exploits when it comes to dealing with his impulsive nature.”

“He’s impulsive, but he’s not that out of control. He’s more detail oriented than people give him credit for. With years of experience under his belt, he’s got an edge that most don’t,” Scott couldn’t help, but reveal contemplating her words.

“The man has torn down the building of operation after weeks of an investigation was taking place,” she pointed out with a frown, “He literally uprooted a project that was years in the making and…”

“Markus was doing things he shouldn’t be,” Scott replied behind gritted teeth, “Regardless of what your agency wants with that information, we both know the things that he was doing in that club are questionable at best. With the way he was running those trials…”

“I’m not questioning Markus or his lack of ethics,” Maria countered, “I’m talking about how Logan went rushing into this situation, doing his best to get in the thick of it only to cause it to come crashing down during the height of the investigation when…”

“Someone needed to see it crashing down,” Scott mouthed revealing the beginnings of a scowl, “We both know what was happening inside that place was…”

“What?” she questioned twisting in her seat, “Wrong? Immoral?”

“Unethical,” Scott added with an air of annoyance in his tone, “The fact that the government was the one funding the project and allowing Markus to have all access to…”

“I never said that I agreed to what was happening regardless of it being sanctioned by those employed by the same people I am,” she revealed softening her tone. She turned away from him, looking out at the scenery that surrounded them, “It isn’t my place to judge what is happening. I’m simply there to do a job and…”

“What job is that exactly?” Scott questioned when silence filled the front seat once again, “Right. We don’t talk about that.”

“Look…” she pinched her lips together before frowning, “You’re here because we need to get this contained. What you and Logan did in that club last night….”

“Undoubtedly saved people from being targeted by S.H.I.E.L.D. and whatever government agency that was looking to manipulate them. You can’t tell me that isn’t why this project was sanctioned in the first place. There was undoubtedly an ulterior motive to this being approved,” Scott tossed back at her watching her response to his words, “Just who are the other volunteers in that trial?”

“That’s not relevant to what we’re doing here today,” Maria explained in a curt, professional tone, “What is relevant is…”

“Bullshit,” Scott argued slipping for a moment in his agitation before taking in a calming breath. He mentally counted to five before speaking up again in a far more distanced tone, “All the variables in this situation need to be accounted for and…”

“They aren’t relevant to what we’re doing today,” Maria insisted with a scowl, “I can see that you don’t understand the importance of this mission, but…”

“Make me understand it,” Scott suggested giving her room to open the door to communication between them, “Tell me why this is worth pursuing on your end and…”

“You know why it is worth pursuing,” she looked over at him once again, “You of all people should be aware of what is at risk in all of this. I think you were able to get a clear picture last night and…”

“What I saw and what I have yet to see…” Scott began again.

“It doesn’t matter what you have yet to see. It’s what you saw last night that will guide the course of this investigation.”

“You gave me half stories,” Scott reminded her with a scowl, “covered with lies on top of lies. Everything you said last night was…”

“…a means to an end of this nightmare,” Maria answered readily, “Regardless of what you might be thinking about me in the moment, you know as well as I do I’m…”

“…trying to find a way to make things right,” Scott finished knowingly, “Yeah, I think I’ve figured that out.”

“Then you know what’s at risk in all of this if things continue to travel down the path they’ve been on,” Maria stated softening her tone when Scott noticed the darkening clouds in the sky beyond where they were on the road, “You can see what we stand to lose if Logan can’t control himself long enough to see this through and…”

“Logan’s not going to be a problem,” Scott offered up thinking about his companion’s actions, “He’s one of the best when it gets down to getting the job done.”

“And one of the worst when dealing with authority,” Maria tossed back at him once again, “Face it your teammate has an attitude problem.”

“And yours don’t?” Scott arched a speculative brow, “Because no one you’ve worked with has ever taken things too far?”

“We aren’t talking about taking things too far. We’re talking about making the most out of a bad situation here,” Maria pointed out with a frown, “It isn’t as if we are going to be welcome with open arms back into the world that Markus has created and…”

“I’m aware of that, but at the same time if we don’t have a solid plan, then it won’t matter how good our intentions are,” Scott pointed out with a small shake of his head, “We need to have our plan in order before we set foot on that property and…”

“Because that worked out so well for us last night?” she countered skeptically.

“Last night didn’t work out because we weren’t on the same page with one another. You weren’t up front with me about what the plan was,” Scott tossed back at her flippantly.

“I didn’t feel the need to hold your hand and walk you through it given your reputation for making things happen.”

“Without the information, I’m not able to make an informed decision about the best course of action,” Scott reminded her when the sound of thunder rumbled from above.

‘And yet you were able to extract Logan from that trial last night reasonably unscathed,” she seemed to be fishing for a deeper response out of him, “How is it that in all of that chaos you both were able to break free without any deeper consequences to your actions?”

“It depends on who you ask. Markus seemed pretty angry,” Scott answered, “You were livid.”

“With good reason.”

“What is it exactly you want to have happen when we get there today?” Scott questioned curiously, “Without you giving me any prior intel on the situation, it is just going to be us walking in circles again. Without any real direction we’re going in there blind. We’d be fools to think otherwise.”

“We aren’t directionless Scott,” she softened her tone when tiny rain droplets started to bead on his windshield, “You just need to take a moment to step back and listen to…”

“To more half-truths?” he questioned with a frown. Reaching out he turned on his windshield wipers listening to the low hum that they created on the cooling glass before them, “That isn’t going to get us any further in this investigation. The game playing is simply wasting time and…”

“I told you what to do last night,” she snapped when the rain started to come down harder than before.

“You implied what you wanted me to do. You weren’t explicitly clear on what you wanted out of me and you see how that worked out,” Scott reminded her brazenly when the rain tapping on the roof of his sports car created a strong, steady cadence outside of their warm environment, “and the last time I checked, I didn’t exactly do what you asked of me at the club.”

“No,” she spoke up behind pinched lips, “you didn’t.”

“But you never anticipated that I would either, did you?” Scott challenged eyeing her for a moment before focusing on the road again, “That was a test wasn’t it? You wanted to see how far I would go blindly without knowing what the mission truly was.”

“I wanted you to plant that tracker,” Maria’s lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl.

“And when I didn’t that’s when you knew that you could trust me to do what is next,” Scott asserted giving her another brief look, “You aren’t planning on following through on what the higher ups want you to do. This might be an official S.H.I.E.L.D. mission, but that isn’t the mission you are on. You want to take this where you know it is destined to go, don’t you?”

“I have been working this case a long time Summers and…”

“You’re every bit as invested in the truth as I am. Admit it,” Scott called her out on her positioning.

“I told you the truth. Markus is a threat,” Maria answered with a neutral tone, “He’s an enemy that needs to be neutralized and…”

“Is he the enemy that we should be concerned about here?” Scott inquired unable to quell his curiosity.

“Summers…” her voice held a warning that indicated that he wasn’t off the mark.

“Your higher ups want his secrets. They want to exploit them when they take full control of his organization if for no other reason than to save their own skins,” Scott blurted out knowingly, “They are well aware of the power and the threat that Markus poses, and it terrifies them.”

“Markus is a very dangerous, damn near unstoppable…” Maria began robotically.

“Source of information that can change the world if someone allows it to happen,” Scott noted thinking about everything he’d learned over the last twenty-four hours, “You know damn well that Markus knows something that can bring about a revolution. He can singlehandedly bring an end to the illusions that have been tossed around the boy’s club waiting back home to utilize the information for their own benefit. That’s what scares the people you work for. That’s why he needs to be contained…”

“Scott…”

“I’m not wrong,” Scott added confidently, “You know that they are dirty, and you want justice. You know that no good will come from following direct orders…”

“What you’re even suggesting is treason Summers,” Maria couldn’t help, but frown as she focused on the SUV in front of them. Through the rapidly moving windshield wipers, there was a limited viewing distance, but the SUV stood out on the highway serving as a reminder of where they were headed, “I would expect this kind of response with Wolverine, but not out of the prim and proper boy scout that you are.”

“Even a boy scout knows what’s right and what is wrong,” Scott offered up simply, “There’s a certain code of ethics that the best of us carry with us and…”

“Ethics can lead you to an early grave if you aren’t careful,” Maria’s voice held a firm warning when lightning flashed overhead indicating that the storm’s rage was only beginning to stir and reveal itself, “especially when you have as much to lose as someone in your position.”

“If you were concerned about any potential loss I might incur, then you would’ve gone in a different direction after we entered that club,” Scott reminded her with a shake of his head, “You could’ve told me to piss off and be on my own way, but you didn’t.”

“I made a mistake thinking you could do this,” she sighed bringing one hand up over her forehead, “I see that now. I never should have brought you into this.”

“And yet after you’ve admonished me for my reaction, you’ve still kept me front and center,” Scott reminded her with a tip of his head. He squeezed his fingers over the steering wheel wondering if the storm would prove to be a distraction to their mission, “You need me Hill. Admit it.”

“Hardly,” she groaned outwardly in a less than convincing tone, “this mission was something I’d intended to execute on my own without complication, but then you entered the equation and…”

“You need me to cross the line that you won’t. Or maybe it is more of a matter of knowing you can’t in your position,” Scott tossed back at her, “Perhaps you were looking for someone to do the dirty work for you…”

“Summers, what you’re saying is…” she began again.

“Deep down you know that you stand more to lose in pursuing the truth, then I do. You know that there are certain rules you can’t break, but with me, well…I live by a different code,” Scott finished for her when it became clear she was internally weighing out her options, clearly thinking up a means of dealing with the situation she’d placed herself into with Scott, “You used me last night to test the waters with Markus to see if he would take the bait with me. You knew that he would be interested and…”

“Of course, he would be interested,” Maria practically laughed at his words, “Why wouldn’t he be? Have you taken a good look at yourself?”

“Excuse me,” Scott blinked back with surprise. He looked over at her once again preparing to find the words when she quickly covered her thoughts.

“You’re wound up so tight that you seem like with the right push you’ll be broken at any minute. Given your need to internalize and keep yourself bottled up the way that you do, it was like dangling catnip in front of Markus,” Maria answered readily, “He looks for weakness in a person, but with you…he knew that you couldn’t be broken as easily as the others. He knew that there were layers to dig through and…”

“So, now I’m layered,” Scott fought to suppress the smirk that carried over him.

“Like an onion,” she flashed him a brief, almost nonexistent smirk before her features hardened once again.

“An onion?” Scott repeated with a frown, “Gee, thanks for the complement.”

“The complexity of your psyche is beyond overwhelming which makes you an ideal candidate for what Markus is seeking out,” Maria answered with a small sigh, “It’s what makes you a delectable conquest for telepaths as well.”

“Because I’m layered?” Scott arched a curious brow.

“Because you always keep your cards close to you,” Maria divulged giving him another curious once over, “No matter how many profiles the agency has worked up on you, there hasn’t been one that’s been deemed accurate on who you are.”

“I didn’t realize that I was of interest to the agency,” Scott glanced over at her briefly, “Being a boy scout and all…”

“Believe it or not, you’re of a great interest to the people I work for,” Maria explained lowering her voice, “I really shouldn’t be telling you any of this…”

“Of course, you shouldn’t,” Scott mouthed watching her lean closer to him in an attempt to build a trust between them, “but you’re going to anyway.”

“The fact that you can full on have an affair with Wolverine while keeping it hidden from your wife—one of the most powerful telepaths known to man speaks volumes about how unbreakable you are,” Maria explained with a sudden seriousness in her tone, “The walls that you keep up to shield that kind of truth…”

“We aren’t having an affair,” Scott grimaced catching the way that Maria was watching him, “My wife and I are…”

“Living two separate lives Scott,” Maria leaned back in her seat, “She’s off in an entirely different place with someone who…”

“What does this have to do with the mission?” Scott questioned dismissively, “Are you seeking out my help or are you looking to find a weakness in my psyche? If you’re trying to break me or shame me with some agency tactic you’ve picked up through the years…”

“I’m merely stating a fact,” Maria shrugged, “Knowing how well you’ve been able to hide what’s been happening for years is impressive. It shows that you can’t be broken no matter what the trigger.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere on this one,” Scott quipped with an air of sarcasm in his tone.

“It’s not flattery. It’s stating a fact,” she added in a smooth, even tone, “I read the report on that case you and Logan were on six months back. You know the one where you infiltrated that gang across the border?”

“What about it?” Scott questioned behind a clenched jaw. He began gripping the wheel tighter when the clouds darkened outside of the windows.

“It was impressive,” Maria shrugged, “That’s all I’m saying. With the way that you were able to take down their leader like you did and…”

“That was nothing,” Scott offered up with a dismissive shrug, “Logan did most of the leg work on that one in going undercover on the assignment.”

“Be that as it may, I realize that the mission took its toll on you especially in being a cross agency assignment,” she explained further seemingly fishing for a response out of him.

“If you read the official paperwork that followed, you’d know why. That report took a while to write,” Scott answered simply, “It was a bit longer than we’d anticipated when it began, but…”

“I’m not talking about the on-record details of the investigation,” Maria prompted him further, “I’m talking about the omissions that weren’t published in the report.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Scott’s voice shifted to a neutral tone.

“You and Logan…” she paused dramatically, “In having spent all those long hours away from home—wrapped up in that extensive of an assignment.”

“It’s part of the job,” Scott answered readily, “I think we’ve all been there, haven’t we?”

“Perhaps, but at the same time knowing what kind of kind of criminals you were encountering during that time—with the way you had to live day in and day out,” Maria continued feigning an air of sympathy in her tone, “It must’ve been very taxing on you away from the others back home and…”

“Don’t be coy,” Scott blurted out despite his cool resolve, “Just say what you want to say and be done with it.”

“Fine,” she folded her arms in front of her chest, “I know about the seventy-two hours during that mission when you specifically went off the grid. Even if you didn’t put it on the paperwork, there were witness accounts that…”

“That what?” Scott questioned stiffly, “That told you I spent seventy-two hours unaccounted for? Not likely. Everything in the official report was…”

“Important to the investigation, but during those seventy-two hours,” Maria’s voice grew suddenly darker in the admission, “I’m aware of what took place during that time period with you Scott. Even though you were in deep cover, eventually Logan made a call for assistance and…”

“Logan tends to overreact at times,” Scott wrinkled his nose at her once again, “If anything that would probably be why you had misinformation passed onto you during that time so…”

“Don’t bullshit me. I know that things went south for a bit when initially Logan went off the grid during the middle of the investigation.”

“Again I…” Scott started clenching his teeth.

“Summers, I know how you took matters into your hands turning yourself over to that gang—sacrificing yourself for his freedom knowing full well that they wouldn’t negotiate with you. Against the advice of those around you, you walked in there fully prepared to do whatever was necessary to save him,” she offered up in a concerned voice, “Despite the fact that you were at a point of logically cutting your losses and regrouping with your team, you refused to leave a man behind.”

“What leader would?” Scott countered glancing over in her direction briefly, “Not that I’m saying that happened, but no team leader would leave their team behind without putting up a fight and…”

“You put yourself in danger to save him,” Maria blurted out knowingly, “You volunteered to right the wrongs that they’d felt Logan committed against them in working undercover.”

“Like I said I…”

“You were there for seventy-two hours on your own Scott,” Maria’s voice softened with concern, “Seventy-two grueling hours of psychological warfare and endless torture.”

“Allegedly,” Scott replied.

“The things you must’ve seen on that mission,” her words tapered off, “Look I’m not going to beat around the bush on this one.”

“Clearly,” he quipped with an air of agitation in his tone despite his cool resolve.

“I’m well versed on the fact that the gang had methods of extraction for prisoners that go beyond anything my agency might’ve concocted and…”

“I think you’ve been ill-advised on the subject Agent Hill,” Scott explained following the signs down the highway. The car began to ascend into the mountains, giving a different view of the morning light filtering over the world beyond his sportscar. With the pink and amber hues melting into a golden warmth it was a sign of a new day—of a new beginning that last night he wasn’t entirely certain he would be sharing with anyone let alone Maria Hill at his side on a mission that he’d never formally signed up for.

“One of the guards at the club was formerly a CI with the agency long before Markus turned him,” Maria explained drawing in an uneasy breath when the rain began to ease up as they moved through the clouds, “He was also a member of that gang and…”

“I recognized his face at the club,” Scott nodded, “Not at first, but then I noticed the affiliation with his tattoos. I’d assumed that you had done the same given some of the comments you made back at the club.”

“I had some information about the hit the remaining members of the gang had put upon you specifically and…”

“I’m pretty popular I guess,” Scott shrugged again, “although this seems like a strange topic of conversation given that we should be focusing on what happens in Kingston.”

“I’m trying to, but at the same time…” she hesitated.

“What?”

“All I’m saying is that bouncer undoubtedly recognized your face last night. When he was working as a CI he remembered a lot about that time with you and Logan during those seventy-two hours when…” Maria spoke up smoothly, revealing nothing about her motivation as Scott drove down the highway.

“That would be a bit of a challenge given that he wasn’t around during that period,” Scott shook his head dismissively, “He might’ve been a part of the group, but he wasn’t around during the height of the investigation and…”

“We were able to extract a few memories of his from that time period and see that…”

“The mission was a success,” Scott cut her off abruptly, “You said it yourself that you saw that file and…”

“Seventy-two hours is a long time to be caught up behind enemy lines Scott,” Maria pointed out with concern evident in her tone, “Knowing that you were there in their hands possibly ready to blow the entire investigation out of the water with a push…”

“I didn’t give up a thing,” Scott revealed behind a clenched jaw, “You’ve read the report. The mission was a success.”

“I’m aware,” Maria nodded, “but I’m also smart enough to realize that the methods that gang used for extracting information from a potential outsider is…”

“No match for my willpower of steel, yes?” Scott questioned giving her a brief, once over, “That’s what you want me to say, right? That in their violent interrogations that I never broke or turned to their side? That I never gave up anything to compromise the mission?”

“Did you?” Maria couldn’t help but ask watching him closely.

“The mission was a success,” Scott answered with a shrug, “If nothing else, you should realize that I’m not like other soldiers you’ve encountered. I’m completely focused on a mission at hand and…”

“You’re far from being an open book,” Maria agreed with a nod, “which is why I knew that this particular mission wouldn’t be a problem for you.”

“There we are in agreement,” Scott nodded keeping his focus on the road.

“What happened in Boston?” Maria questioned pushing herself inside his head and attempting to pull out an emotional reaction.

“I’m not following,” Scott lied behind a flexed jaw.

“On your last mission to Boston with Wolverine,” Maria prompted him further, “Something happened there—something that changed the both of you.”

“Again, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Scott answered in a smooth and even tone, “Any mission I may or may have not been on with a team member is not any business of yours or your coworkers. X-Men operations are…”

“Classified. Yes, we’ve established that, but we’ve also established that you two caused quite a stir out there especially after the assignment six months ago,” Maria reminded him with a shake of her head, “After the company we encountered last night, I would assume that perhaps you would want an ally in the event that your Boston mission might find itself with a few loose ends as well.”

“I’m not concerned about that,” Scott answered coolly, “Right now the mission is Markus.”

“Indeed,” Maria conceded opting to let go of whatever direction she’d been attempting to take with Scott, “He’s a complexity that few seldom are able to handle.”

“Myself being the exception,” Scott noted glancing at her once again.

She nodded, “Indeed. He seems to be quite taken with you.”

“His phone call suggested otherwise,” Scott reminded her when thoughts of the threat Markus issued him lingered in his subconscious.

“That’s because you’re the quintessential one that got away,” Maria noted with an amused smirk, “You told him no and caught him by surprise, which seldom happens and that has only piqued his interest. He’s always seeking out a challenge.”

“And you suspected that I would be one when I walked into the club last night?”

“My intelligence led me to believe that you and Logan were…” she paused contemplating her words, “involved, which meant the stakes were higher for you. Given that you were seeking him out, you weren’t going to do anything to screw up that goal in mind even if it meant allowing Markus to be charmed by you.”

“I told him that I wasn’t interested when he propositioned me,” Scott reminded her simply.

“Which made you more appealing,” Maria added with a shake of her head, “It’s human nature to want to acquire that which you cannot have.”

“Markus is no longer human,” Scott pointed out with a frown.

“Maybe not, but part of him wants to hold onto that emotion,” Maria divulged about their target, “He wants to feel passion and longing. He wants to hold onto that urgency that always evaded him when he was a part of this world. It’s part of why he struggles to understand the complexity of desire and temptation. His humanity might be gone, but a part of it still lingers as a remnant of his old life. He wants to know what it is like to be wrapped up in it and…”

“He’s got plenty of food for thought at the club,” Scott groaned outwardly, “It seems that enough of that goes on without the trials and…”

“He wants something real,” Maria paused turning to look at him again, “and you fit the bill.”

“Being real?” Scott couldn’t help, but laugh, “How do you figure?”

“Because of all the people in this world, you’re the closest thing to what he is Scott,” Maria answered readily, “You fight to keep yourself contained. You are goal oriented and you always put a mission first above all other things. You’ve never taken a step back to allow emotions to get the best of you even when provoked to do so. You’ve forgone personal liberties for the greater good and…”

“You think I lack the capacity to have any real emotion?” Scott questioned finding his thoughts returning to the previous night in the motel room with Logan.

“Yeah, I did…” she admitted quietly. Her gaze lingered to the window watching the scenery pass them by as they traveled towards Kingston, “until last night.”

“Right,” Scott added behind gritted teeth. He clenched his steering wheel tighter than before fighting to keep his head on the mission at hand wondering if he could pull through where he hadn’t the night before.

“Any time you and I have crossed paths with one another before last night you were always calculating, methodical and on point,” Maria offered up honestly, “You’ve never let your guard down long enough to let anyone in. You’re good at covering what it is you’re thinking—what you’re feeling, yet somehow, it’s always clear that you have a plan. You’re always finding a solution to the problem at hand and…”

“You think I’m not doing that with Logan?”

“Logan is the problem,” Maria concluded, “and although I know it isn’t my place to say it, I imagine he’s a reason why you and your wife consulted with a lawyer a couple of months ago about dissolving your marriage.”

“That’s none of your business,” Scott snapped in recoil, “My personal life is of no relevance to this mission and…”

“Anyone with eyes could see that Jean was moving on,” Maria answered coldly, “It’s no secret that she…”

“…isn’t part of this,” Scott spoke up behind clenched teeth, “My wife and I aren’t a subject of interest for S.H.I.E.L.D. and…”

“As much as we both would like to say that is true, you wanted honesty,” Maria explained lowering her voice, “Given what the world knows about you and Jean…”

“It doesn’t give you the right to step in and start poking and prodding into my personal life,” Scott’s words came out in a sharp warning, “I haven’t asked you about your personal relationships because they are personal Agent Hill. To be questioning you on your intimate relationships would not only be crossing a line, but it would be borderline harassment. It isn’t relevant to your performance on the job and…”

“My lover isn’t the one about to blow this whole mission out of the water,” she reminded him with a huff, “Logan tore up that building last night and compromised years of work when…”

“You were aware of his role in the trials. At any time, you could’ve disclosed that information to me and…” Scott began to argue with her.

“I withheld that information because you needed focus,” she shot back icily, “With him on your mind, you start slipping and…”

“The hell I do,” Scott cut back sharply, “In case your profilers didn’t work it out, I was trained early on to put a mission first and foremost. I have never faltered on a mission when something was expected of me.”

“Until last night,” she interrupted.

“Last night my mission was to find Logan and bring him home,” Scott clarified with a frown, “I went there with that goal in mind. He was my primary objective.”

“So, it was a mission for you?” Maria arched a doubtful brow, “Charles sent you seeking out Logan?”

“Logan was in a position that required my involvement and as his squad leader it was my duty to keep him safe.”

“Logan can more than hold his own.”

“Not under the influence of Euphoria, but you know that only too well,” he frowned.

“What are you insinuating Summers?”

“That maybe someone on your end of things didn’t want to see him make his way through the trials he was volunteering in…” Scott spoke up in a cold, distanced tone.

“Logan’s an Avenger. There’s a vested interest in his performance even though…”

“Euphoria could kill him if he isn’t careful,” Scott interrupted her, “Just the mere suppression of his powers alone could be enough to potentially do him in and…”

“No one was trying to kill him,” Maria replied giving her statement an afterthought, “At least not on our end.”

“He was still there and, in a position, where he was vulnerable,” Scott added simply, “That gives me reason to question your position in all of this.”

“I have been up front with you about my motivation in…”

“What are we trying to get our hands on at that warehouse today Maria?”

“I already told you that…”

“Are we working to suppress something or bring it to the light of day?” Scott questioned with a frown, “What side are you really on in all of this?”

“Such skepticism. Logan really worked a number over you, didn’t he?” Maria questioned seemingly breaking through Scott’s thoughts, “He’s something special to you, huh?”

“We’ve already covered this. I’m not going to discuss my personal life with you Agent Hill,” Scott answered stoically, “I agreed to help you on this mission, but…”

“He’s head over heels in love with you,” Maria blurted out with certainty in her tone.

“That’s a bold assertion,” Scott couldn’t help, but laugh, “Where did you come up with that one? Did your profilers tell you that?”

“Anyone with eyes could see he’d risk everything to keep you safe.”

“We’re teammates,” Scott concluded, “and that means being able to lay your life on the line for one another. It means having implicit trust and…”

“That man was willing to subject himself to true horror in order to steal a glimpse of a life with you,” Maria noted when Scott thought back to what he’d witnessed on the monitors in the observation room, “He was ritualistically subjecting himself to torture again and again in the hopes that he could just have a few minutes with you in his arms and…”

“I thought you weren’t actively aware of what was happening in the trials.”

“We weren’t aware of everything, but at the same time…” her words trailed off.

“You were keeping tabs on Logan,” Scott noted with a frown.

“We’re always keeping tabs on him,” Maria shrugged dismissively, “Given that he’s a wildcard and all.”

“He’s done numerous things for your agency and…”

“We didn’t say we didn’t appreciate his efforts, but at the same time,” Maria paused contemplating her words, “it will be his feelings for you that will be his ultimate undoing. You’re aware of that, aren’t you?”

“Logan has years of experience beyond the two of us,” Scott explained taking the time to reassess his situation with Maria, “Through the years he may have allowed his emotions to worm their way into a mission here and there, but he’s well versed on how the system works. He’s seen more combat than either one of us has and…”

“I’m not talking about his combat experience,” Maria argued with him, “I’m speaking about…”

“His combat experience gives him an edge over many others. Logan’s one hell of an asset to any team that he’s on,” Scott offered up thinking about the times he and Logan had gone to battle with one another, “When he’s focused on a mission, then his objective is top priority. He’s going to see an assignment all the way through and…”

“He’s focused on you Summers and it has clouded his judgment,” Maria pointed out with a frown, “He’s in love with you and that complicates the situation given that we’re about to enter into dangerous territory.”

“Dangerous would be underestimating Logan’s capabilities as a soldier,” Scott explained in a neutral tone, “Given his years of combat experience and his insight…”

“He’s not thinking about the mission Scott. He’s thinking about…”

“He was blindsided last night when he was taken from his objective,” Scott interrupted with a small frown, “Despite the fallout, I stand by the fact that Logan’s a professional when need be and furthermore…”

“If he isn’t listening to orders and working as a team member pushing his emotions on the backburner someone is going to get killed,” Maria couldn’t help, but frown back at Scott, “possibly him.”

“He’s smarter than that. He knows what’s at stake in all of this.”

“Does he?” Maria inquired with a raised brow, “Do you really believe he’s in a position to be held culpable for his actions?”

“Why do you say that?” Scott questioned sensing she was holding back on something, “You know his history.”

“His history makes me uneasy at best but given all he’s been involved with since he partook in the trials,” Maria seemed to hesitate struggling to find her words, “You can’t trust what you are seeing in him Summers. It would be too easy to fall into that trap uninformed, but…”

Scott frowned decelerating his car as they approached another interchange, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“He’s volatile at best. Between the physical and mental ramifications of his actions, if we throw in an emotional element…”

“Logan’s the only reason we’re able to be making our way out here to seek out the truth,” Scott reminded her, “He single-handedly offered up inside information to further assist you in your investigation when…”

“It isn’t his information that concerns me. It’s his instability,” Maria clarified leaving Scott even more concerned than he’d let on., “The Euphoria provides an unsteady structure with those who use it. Granted Logan has an advanced healing system but given how tentative the nature of the drug is…”

“You don’t believe he’s fully immune to the potential long-term side effects,” he finished for her.

“I’d be lying if I claimed otherwise,” she admitted poignantly, “There are far too many unknown variables in the trials for us to have a clear portrait of what could happen down the line.”

“But you have an idea of what could happen, don’t you?”

“Scott…”

“What’s going to happen to him?” Scott blurted out cutting to the chase, “What do you know?”

“Enough to see that there’s a distinct possibility that the Euphoria has undoubtedly impacted his judgment and thwarted some of his healing response. In his last evaluation within the trials he was slower than he was before and…” Maria began drawing in an uneasy breath.

“He’s only been a part of the trials for a few weeks,” Scott pondered aloud thinking about what he’d witnessed in Logan.

“That’s right, but at the same time,” she seemed to hesitate, “there’s still so much that is unknown about the Euphoria itself and…”

“Your government is manufacturing it. How can that be possible?”

“There wasn’t exactly an instruction manual on the process Scott. There were things that…”

“They didn’t have the first clue what they were doing when they held those manufacturers hostage.”

“They aren’t hostage,” Maria seemed to hesitate, “as far as I know.”

“You can’t tell me that knowing you are part of an establishment pushing those kind of drugs sits well with you given that…”

“I never said that I liked it Scott, but the reality is that…”

“This whole situation is one big mess,” Scott finished for her, “It’s sloppy at best and…”

“I’m not here to argue the semantics of what has happened. I’m simply providing you with information that might prove useful to you and Logan down the road when…”

“He’s an asset to your team. He’s shown nothing, but loyalty to everything that’s been thrown out at him, yet the people you work for have been knowingly sending him into this situation unprotected,” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension, “You were well-aware of the side effects before he entered into this trial and…”

“He volunteered on his own to be a part of it,” Maria reminded him with a shake of her head, “He was the one who used his connections to step forward and enter into this situation where…”

“His friend was in need.”

“I’m not responsible for what is happening with Logan,” Maria added with a huff.

“If you don’t tell me how to fix this, then you’re just as guilty as the rest of them.”

“It isn’t that easy. It’s…” she paused.

“Let’s not beat around the bush. What are we looking at here?” Scott questioned worriedly, “Adamantium poisoning? A decline in his immune system? A mental decline?”

“I honestly don’t know just how hard it will hit him, but I know that subjects that have tried to break away from these trials by going cold turkey haven’t fared well.”

“Meaning?” Scott frowned already guessing the worst.

“Logan’s not the typical volunteer, but…” she pinched her lips together contemplating her words, “we’ve seen with those who have attempted to leave the trials there is a high mortality rate that…”

“So, after everything is said and done this could kill him,” Scott cut her to the chase, “You’re telling me that right now his body could slowly be poisoning itself as we speak and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“As long as he doesn’t do anything stupid that would require him to fall into using his advanced healing response we may be able to slow down the long term effects, but at the same time if he’s cutting himself off from Euphoria completely…” she bit down on her lower lip watching as Scott’s frustrations mounted.

“In other words you’re telling me that he could very well end up killing himself by being a part of this mission that was sanctioned by those you work for,” Scott’s frown intensified, “Your agency is manufacturing Euphoria for Markus knowing full well of the dangers involved. They knew Logan was taking part of these trials, yet no one thought to step forward and warn him about what he was getting himself into.”

“I’m not saying for certain that he could end up like some of the others, but given how little research we’ve done on this new strain of Euphoria that Markus has manipulated in his trials…” Maria admitted with a tiny shudder, “The risks outweigh the benefits and…”

“We could lose him all because someone decided to keep him in the dark about what he could be putting himself into when he stepped into that club,” Scott finished with a shake of his head, “Why wouldn’t you tell him?”

“I wasn’t the one calling the shots,” she defended herself, “I only learned about Logan’s involvement a short while ago and…”

“Why would you let him continue to do this?” Scott questioned looking over at her once again, “Knowing how dangerous this is, how could any of you stand back and let any volunteers be subjected to those trials? What the hell kind of agency does that in knowingly putting innocent people at risk?”

“They aren’t innocent people Scott,” Maria divulged cryptically, “Each one of those volunteers were carefully selected to…”

“…to be murdered off just so that your bosses could have an information extraction?” Scott’s voice rose with anger, “No wonder Markus wants out of this little game you’ve been playing with him. To think that you would cross so many unethical barriers with this project and…”

“It wasn’t me,” Maria’s voice rose with anger, “I wasn’t involved in that part of the trials. As far as I knew they were conducting their research on the prior samples. They weren’t as dangerous and…”

“They are addictive to anyone who uses,” Scott reminded her once again, “Anyone that entered into that situation was bound to end up in a bad place where…”

“I’m not saying what went down was right,” Maria bit down on her lower lip once again. Shaking her head, she pushed her hand up through her short, dark hair, “Hell, I hate the way so many of my coworkers have compromised themselves to partake in this assignment. Just knowing what I do about how it has turned out…”

“We can’t keep letting this go on,” Scott insisted thinking about the potential danger to Logan’s future, “There are innocent people who could very well be in harm’s way and…”

“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I realize that…?” she stopped herself in a feeble attempt to regain her composure. She took in a calming breath returning to that stone-cold focus that Scott was used to in their earlier exchanges, “I only disclosed the trial information to you so that you could be aware of the potential threat your teammate poses to himself and to others on this mission. Until we’ve done further research on the long-term effects of the Euphoria, there’s no telling what could trigger him in all of this should Logan find himself in over his head. Once we finish with today’s mission, the best thing we can do for him is get him into a lab for testing. Logan needs to be studied on the long-term effects of the drug and…”

“I’m already on it,” Scott replied in a neutral tone, “If what you’re saying is true, then this is something that takes precedence over our mission at that warehouse. If Logan is in danger, then we need to get him into a medical facility where…”

“There’s a rumor floating around that Markus has an antidote,” Maria explained catching Scott off guard in her admission, “He’s been working on it for a while and…”

“You’re saying whatever effects Euphoria has on Logan can be cured,” Scott realized.

“Markus has kept that part of his project under wraps,” Maria offered up after a moment’s hesitation, “It’s the one variable that our agency is not in control of. He is said to be working in his own private facility where…”

“You believe he’s working on a way to undo the potential side effects that a mutant could experience when using,” Scott noted thinking about the situation Logan had put himself into in his time on his own.

“It’s no secret that mutants are hit harder than those who aren’t gifted. Markus has always was inclined towards the gifted as they represent something that he aspires to be himself. However, up until now there has been no way to counteract the side effects. If anything, each attempt at doing so has only magnified them,” Maria reminded him with a shake of her head, “The results can be devastating on both ends, but with mutants—the fact to the matter is without an antidote, it could prove fatal.”

“So, this could kill Logan?” Scott’s worries mounted, “Markus was aware of that when…”

“I don’t believe his intention was to allow Euphoria to kill his volunteers, but given Logan’s special circumstances…”

“You believe that an antidote is the only way to ensure that he won’t have any long term side effects overtaking him,” Scott realized drawing in an uneasy breath, “Which is why you wanted to speak to me alone instead of involving him because if he knew about all of this…”

“He would be stubborn and impossible to work with,” Maria concluded with a nod.

“But I’m not,” Scott spoke up with an understanding, “That is what I stand to gain by playing along with you on this. I work with you, give you what you want and you, in turn, allow me the opportunity to save Logan’s life.”

“That’s not exactly my motivation, but…”

“You knew what you were doing when you brought me into this,” Scott’s jaw clenched with tension as they drove further out of the storm clouds that had come to life a few miles back, “Perhaps I underestimated you in all of this Agent Hill.”

“We both want to see this job to its conclusion,” Maria offered up in a cold, distanced tone, “I see no reason why we can’t simply push forward together in a mutually beneficial situation…”

“…where the people you work for get what they want, and the truth be damned?” Scott felt a moment of anger pumping through his veins, “They want to see Markus shut down and in order to do so, they want our compliance so that…”

“Scott, I want to do the right thing. I want to make things right,” Maria offered up sympathetically, “but at the moment my hands are tied and…”

“I suppose you aren’t who I thought you were after all,” Scott allowed his disappointment to push through the surface. He looked over at her briefly before shaking his head once again, “So this is where we stand with one another, huh?”

“If we get in there and get a sample of the antidote, then we can do what is necessary to benefit all of us in this situation. You get to help Logan,” she noted keeping her eyes forward, “I get to finish what I started when this began when I was put on this assignment.”

“At what price?” Scott questioned wondering just what he was dealing with now that he found himself contemplating the woman at his side. There were so many assumptions he’d made about Agent Hill—so many thoughts about how he’d believed she had a deeper, far more altruistic side to her, but as he watched her stiffen in her seat beside him, he found himself wondering if perhaps he’d been too hopeful to see things as they were. She was shrewd and calculating, but was she as nefarious as those she’d come to work for? Had she lost sight of what was important in favor of getting the job done?

 _“You know what you need to do,”_ he could almost hear Charles in the back of his head coaxing him to follow orders when a tiny shudder overtook him. For a moment, he found his thoughts returning to that fateful moment in Boston when he’d gone past the point of no return. Like Maria he was a man on a mission, bound by the authority, forced into making a difficult decision that he just as soon would have passed on under the circumstances he was in. A tiny shudder carried over him as he wondered if he had again found himself in a position past the point of no return in compromising himself in favor of doing what was expected. Looking to Maria again, he wondered if she somehow knew about what he’d done in Boston, but a part of him felt that wasn’t the case. Instead she sat beside him stoic and lost in her own complications until she finally spoke up again in a more even tone.

“The club is no longer a place for us to get the information, but inside of that warehouse we can turn this around.”

“I’ll go in,” Scott decided with a small frown, “Markus is undoubtedly expecting me…”

“Which is all the more reason why we need to allow one of my men to step inside and…” Maria began to explain the details of her plan.

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly when his objective became clear, “I need to do it. If Markus is there, then he’ll be expecting me and…”

“It could compromise everything all over again,” Maria reminded him with a shake of her head, “If you go in there with guns blazing…”

“You know I won’t,” Scott cut her off abruptly, “You’re aware of what it will bring to the table if I offer myself up to Markus after what took place last night. That’s why you brought up the mission Logan and I were on across the border. Knowing that, you were always planning on using me as bait in this. That’s why I’m here.”

“Markus is volatile at best Scott and officially I can’t ask you to walk into that warehouse knowing that Markus could lash out at you for last night,” Maria’s voice held anything, but concern as Scott found himself even more contemptuous about the situation.

“Right,” Scott noted weighing out his options in his head, “So now that we’ve got that out in the open, what’s the real plan? How are we going to play it?”

“We have to get through today without Logan screwing up,” Maria added bluntly, “If we can get you inside of that warehouse without any problems.”

“It won’t be a problem,” Scott decided gripping the wheel tighter than before, “If you think that Markus is there…”

“Our intel couldn’t say for sure, but given his ability to transfer from host to host, there’s a strong possibility that someone on staff will be…”

“One of his hosts,” Scott finished knowingly, “and once I walk through those doors…”

“He will undoubtedly reach out to you,” Maria finished for him, “He will want to pick up where you left off last night and when he does…”

“That’s when you’ll make your move towards the information,” Scott added realizing that Maria was once again using him as a distraction in her plan to complete her mission, “I keep him busy and…”

“We get what we need and get out of there reasonably unscathed,” Maria noted with a determination in her tone, “You keep him neutralized and we get the information and…”

“The antidote,” Scott added with a frown, “If it is truly a possibility in all of this…”

“Then I swear to you we won’t leave without it,” Maria assured him with a small shake of her head, “We don’t want to lose Logan any more than you do.”

“And you think this is the only way?” Scott questioned glancing over at her for a brief, contemplative moment.

“Markus won’t see us coming when his focus is on you,” Maria added readily, “He’ll be trying to figure out what makes you so different. When you provide him with answers to his questions, then we finish the job in the extraction.”

“And after?” Scott looked to the SUV ahead of them again wondering what the future held in store for him once this job was completed.

“We neutralize him, and you get to go home with Logan,” Maria offered up reaching out to push a piece of hair away from her eyes.

“Just like that, huh?” he questioned.

“That’s the plan,” she nodded, “For now though we have to make sure that Logan doesn’t lose his cool and do something irrational. If that happens…”

“It won’t,” Scott promised her, “Logan’s a professional.”

When she looked over at him in disbelief, he offered up a more thoughtful response on the subject.

“He doesn’t always listen to orders, but when it counts, he’s the one man I know that I would want at my side,” Scott answered honestly thinking about his long history with Logan, “He’s got my back and I’ve got his until the end. Past it even.”

“Fine,” Maria backed off slightly. She leaned back in her seat and let out a long sigh, “but when it gets to that pivotal moment in this case, you and I are going to have to trust one another. If we are going to be successful, then we need to be clear on what the expectations we have for one another are. We can’t keep playing the games that we have up until this point and…”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way Agent Hill,” Scott offered up readily, “I’ll give you full disclosure if you do the same with me.”

“If we do that, then you have to be willing to do whatever I request out of you no questions asked,” Maria warned sharply, “You have to be able to set personal feelings aside and do what is expected of you.”

“Stop trying to strategize me and we’ll be able to accomplish just that together,” Scott warned noticing smoke up ahead of where they were with one another.

“What is that?” Maria questioned sitting up straighter in her seat. Off in the distance, Scott spotted a thick, dark cloud of smoke rising into the sky dark and swirling when it was clear that something was happening beyond the road they were on.

“It looks like a fire,” Scott noted watching as the wind seemed to whip the smoke cloud around drawing emphasis to its intimidating movement. With each sweep of the breeze it seemed to expand and grow wider, allowing the air that surrounded it to breathe life to the fire that was burning below the tall buildings before them.

“Isn’t that where…?” Maria questioned watching as the dancing flames seemed to engulf the buildings coming into view before them.

“The road that leads to the warehouse,” Scott realized suddenly realizing that their mission had sparked an unforeseen complication now that Maria’s plans for their day were going up in the hot, white flames consuming the street around them. Pulling his car to the side of the road just a few feet away from the SUV they’d been following, Scott found his heart hammering in his chest when he was left with the sinking feeling that things had just gone from bad to worse for all of them.


	12. Setback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best laid plans don't always go into fruition. Logan decides to take charge in achieving his goals

**Setback:** _a reversal or check in progress._

“What the hell is that?” Clint’s words voiced the thoughts raging through Logan’s mind when Logan pushed his way out of the SUV and looked to the burning buildings before him. While it was unclear where the fire had started, there was no denying the catastrophe spiraling out of control around them. The block before them was in shambles crumbling to pieces when an uneasy thought resonated deep inside of him.

“A disaster in the making,” Logan mouthed hearing the screams of people inside the building to the left of him. With his heightened senses, he could take in the scent of death and burning flesh indicating that the carnage in the neighborhood went above and beyond what they’d anticipated. It looked like nothing short of a war zone with people running and screaming, each searching for cover when the smoke engulfed the block around them bringing with it a sense of impending doom.

“We have to get these civilians out of here,” Maria’s voice announced as Logan looked up to discover her and Scott rushing towards them, “We need to move in now!”

“Help me!” a woman’s voice screamed as Logan looked up to discover there was an elderly dark haired woman leaning out of a window on the third floor of a building complex that served as a daycare and a barber shop before the fire had worked its way through the building climbing up towards the terrified woman. In her arms were two small children and the voices of other screaming children in the background indicating that there were others trapped inside of the crumbling building.

“Logan, move!” Scott’s voice called out to him causing Logan to spring into action.

“I’m on it,” Logan charged forward rushing into the burning building without hesitation. He made his way through the cloud of smoke and the rising flames, rushing to find the stairs leading up to the third floor where the woman and children with her were waiting. Without hesitation, he found his way to floor, pushing past the flames that licked over his skin singeing the hair on his arms. He could almost feel the smoke rushing into his lungs forcing a small, surprising cough out of him before he finally made it to the third floor. Once he was there, he looked around the hallway seeking out the source of the cries when a loud booming sound from up above caused him to take a step back. Within seconds the fractured ceiling started to crumble, causing a beam to fall directly in front of him. With its downward movement, the heavy beam went through the beige linoleum floor in front of where he stood sending it crumbling down the three floors that Logan had rushed up in his urgency. He snarled seeing the gap between him and the door at the end of the hall where he could see the rainbow-colored logo indicating that he’d found his destination. With a deep breath and a cough, Logan took few steps back. He could feel the smoke starting to work its way into his lungs when he charged forward hoping the floor didn’t crumble under his weight. Shaking the thought, he realized there wasn’t time for those worries when the sound of screaming children pushed him forward to act with their safety in mind. With a determined growl, he leapt forward listening to the floor behind him crumbling down beneath him and he found himself hoping that he wasn’t too late to help those in need of his assistance.

* * *

“We’ve got to do something now! We’ve got to spread out and get a move on neutralizing this. That building isn’t going to last much longer,” Scott ordered turning to Maria when she signaled Clint and the others to follow her lead, “The foundation is starting to crumble, and the fire department won’t get here in time. Logan’s already inside, but we need to act fast. There’s a hardware store across the street. Clint, see if you can get your hands on any kind of hoses and I’ll work on the hydrants over there.”

“I’m on it,” Clint announced rushing towards the building prepared to follow Scott’s order when another explosion ripped through the street indicating that the fire was spreading down the strip of buildings when the complex adjacent to the building Logan rushed into was about to go up in flames as well. With the boom came a shouting sound as Scott realized that there were people trapped inside of the second building as well.

“Change of plans. Clint, get them out of there!” Scott pointed to the burning building and ordering Clint to head out in that direction.

“Got it,” Clint nodded following the order without hesitation.

“This isn’t going to cut it with us out here Scott. We need to work on getting the others out of those buildings over there as well,” Maria shouted back at the other members of her team, “Get a move on it! We need you here now!”

“What do you want us to do?” one of the men in the car with Clint and Logan questioned moving in closer to Maria.

“You! Go in the hardware store! Find me some hoses in there asap,” Maria shouted pointing to the man that approached her, “and you go after Barton.”

“Got it,” the second man nodded rushing into the building after Clint in the hopes of helping before the situation got out of hand.

“What kind of hoses are we talking about?” the first man questioned when Maria threw her hands up in the air in exasperation.

“Anything we can attach to the hydrant to get it going towards putting out those flames,” Maria ordered when the seemingly confused man finally nodded and darted off towards the tiny hardware store across the street.

“I’m on it,” the man shouted over his shoulder. He rushed towards the door, discovering it was locked, but it didn’t thwart his progress. Without hesitation he pulled out his gun and shot the lock off the frame causing it to rupture to pieces on the pavement outside of the building. Moments later he disappeared in the store leaving Scott and Maria to pick up where they’d left off with one another.

“It’s going up in flames far too fast,” Maria replied behind gritted teeth before moving in beside Scott, “We’ve got to slow it down.”

“I’m already on it,” Scott assured her as he surveyed the area hoping to find a quick, effective solution to the problem they were facing, “If you can get those hoses ready, then I can try to redirect the flow and…”

“That place is going up like paper Scott. Whatever ignited the flames is working as an accelerant and it isn’t going to stop without major effort on our part. At this rate Logan’s not going to get them out of there in time,” Maria remarked as Scott spotted a black colored steel ladder propped against the building across the street.

“Yes, he will. I’ll make sure of it. Just see to it that your agent gets the hookup ready for the hydrant,” Scott rushed forward preparing to collect the ladder and drag it over to the building Logan was in. When he discovered that it was locked behind a cage, he simply used his powers blasting at the lock to spring the door open on it.

“Scott…” Maria chased after him preparing to say something more when Scott realized that the ladder was bolted down to the ground against the building leaving him without many options on the situation.

“Stay back!” Scott ordered blasting at the bolts and sending them flying around the sidewalk beside the building. Once the ladder was freed from its cage, Scott pulled it out into his arms rushing to drag it across the street towards the burning building. When it proved to be heavier than he’d anticipated, he continued to push forward contemplating asking for help from one of the others when Maria’s hands hoisted up the other end of the ladder he was carrying.

“We’ve got this Summers,” Maria assured him as they moved towards the building, propping the ladder up against its soot covered brick when the woman at the window screamed down to them.

“Help us!” she shrieked making it clear she was in a panic, gripping the children in her arms when Maria waved up at her.

“You have to climb down,” Maria shouted hoping the woman would listen to her words.

“She’s terrified,” Scott realized catching the way the woman’s arms seemed to tremble and shake. He watched the child in her right arm begin to cry harder, shaking in her grip when he rushed over to the ladder, “She’s not going to keep holding on to that child.”

“Damn it,” Maria cursed as Scott sprung up the ladder without hesitation. He was halfway up the ladder when he heard Logan’s voice up above him.

“I’ve got you,” Logan’s words were smooth and even now that smoke formed a thick, dark cloud beside where Scott stood on the ladder. With each step Scott climbed, he found himself taking in the thick, suffocating smoke wondering just how bad it was where they children were, but now wasn’t about worrying about that. Now was about taking matters into his own hands when he finally reached the window to discover Logan holding the two children in his arms.

“We’ve got to move fast Slim,” Logan explained offering one of the children to Scott, “The fire is getting worse by the second.”

“How many are inside?” Scott questioned unable to suppress the cough that carried over him.

“Six,” Logan motioned to the children in his arms, “these two, her and then three more kids in the corner.”

“Are they able to climb down the ladder?” Scott questioned looking past the window to discover three small children huddled near an overturned bookshelf crouched in the shadows of the room. One had his head buried in his knees and the other two were crying beside him.

“I think so,” Logan nodded reaching out to offer one of the toddlers to Scott, “Do you think you can handle this little guy?”

“Absolutely,” Scott answered reaching for the boy and carefully tucking him in his arm. He looked down to Maria, who was waiting at the bottom of the ladder for him, “but we’re going to have to work quick. See if you can talk her down as well.”

“She’s not going to go willingly,” Logan motioned to the woman who had moved away from the window. Now she stood frozen with fear in the middle of the room.

“Fine,” Scott decided looking to the other toddler Logan was holding, “Give me this little one as well.”

“Scott, I don’t know if…” Logan began looking to the child in his arms.

“We don’t have time to argue it. I’ve got this,” Scott assured him when he looked to the small boy in his arms. Seeing the boy’s big eyes focused on him, Scott smiled at the small child, “Can you wrap your arms around my neck?”

The boy nodded reaching out to squeeze his tiny hands over Scott’s shoulder. For a moment Scott wasn’t sure the boy was old enough to understand, but when Scott felt the ironclad grip of the child, he knew that he could handle the job. Moments later Logan placed the other child in his arm as well. Keeping his arm wrapped securely around the children, Scott hastily climbed down the ladder doing his best to bring the children to safety at ground level. Careful not to allow the smoke from the broken window to get to them, Scott squeezed them tighter, shielding them as he turned ever so slightly with each downward step he made. Without hesitation he handed them off to Maria when he reached the bottom of the ladder.

“How many others?” she questioned as Scott sprung up the ladder once again.

“Four,” Scott shouted pushing his way up the steps to discover that Logan had already coaxed two of the children to begin climbing down the ladder. They were moving at a much slower pace than Scott had been doing, but in his time moving upward he realized that they would collide soon if they weren’t careful. Drawing in a breath he stopped at the second-floor window reaching out to the windowsill and hoisting himself up upon it when the two children moved down beside him. They hesitated to look at him before Scott motioned to Maria waiting at ground level for them, “You have to keep moving. Go down to the nice lady waiting for you and I promise everything will be okay.”

One of the children sniffled and nodded when he and the girl on the ladder above him began moving again climbing down to join Maria at the bottom. A moment later the third child finally climbed over the windowsill, sliding out onto the ladder to join the others. She moved with tiny, shaky limbs trembling against the ladder when she stretched her foot out. Almost immediately her footing slipped, and she lost her grip on the ladder suddenly sliding backward and falling faster than Scott anticipated. With lightning quick reflexes, he pushed forward catching her mid-air and pulling her in against him. She let out a scream wiggling against him and kicking him in the abdomen.

“It’s okay,” Scott tried to console her, but with her screams she kicked hard again sending the ladder falling to the ground with a resounding thud. Looking down, Scott realized that Maria and the other children were safely out of the way, far from the situation when Scott pulled the girl into his chest. He heard a loud popping sound followed by a boom when the floor above him went up in flames. The explosion sent bricks flying around them causing Scott to clutch onto the girl and push back into the building’s second floor hoping like hell there was an escape for them around the corner. With a thud, he fell back into the floor keeping the girl in against him.

“I want to go home,” the little girl sobbed shaking in his arms.

“I’ll get you there, sweetheart. You’re going to be home real soon,” Scott promised looking around the smoke-filled room. It was an office of sorts with various bookshelves, a desk and some electronic equipment that was now going up in flames. Towards the far end of the room there was an electrical cord plugged into the wall that was sparking and popping indicating that no good would come from it. With a shallow breath, Scott pulled himself upright and looked to the door to the hallway wondering if the fire was too much out there. He surveyed the room noticing a trench coat draped over the chair near the desk. It was untouched by the flames as Scott moved forward wrapping it around the girl’s head and body to help shield her from the smoke. Rushing forward he reached out to test the door finding that it seemed safe enough to push forward.

With the swing of the office door opening, Scott spotted the staircase beyond the office. The path appeared to be clear aside from a gaping hole in the center of the hallway he had to sidestep around. He moved out of the burning office and down to the first floor rushing out of the building just in time to discover that an ambulance had arrived and the EMTs were now tending to the children he, Logan and Maria had pulled from the fire. At the adjacent building Clint and the others had rescued a few elderly tenants that were impacted by the flames.

“Summers,” Maria rushed towards him, moving in to pull the child from his arms as another explosion sounded in the distance, “What the hell is happening here?”

“I don’t know,” Scott mouthed when he handed the crying little girl over to Maria, “Where are we at with the hoses?”

“Got them right here,” Clint announced working to carry the heavy hoses over his shoulder with the agent who had retrieved them following behind him, “These are going to be a bit tricky, but if you can work with it, then…”

“We don’t have any other choice in the matter,” Scott looked to Maria before drawing in an uneasy breath, “Get the children as far away from all of this as possible.”

“Be careful,” she warned looking between the three men before her, “You sure you’ve got this?”

“Piece of cake,” Scott replied turning his attention to Clint once again. He could see Clint was gripping the hose with the mock hookup he’d put together awaiting Scott’s response when Scott took in a breath. He carefully adjusted his visor and directed his blast to the cap on the fire hydrant. Almost immediately it popped off sending a burst of water spewing into the street wild and hard in its release from the hydrant, “Now!”

“Got it,” Clint and the other agent worked to position the hose attempting to work it over the opening when Scott moved forward using his blasts to carefully work the metal into engulfing the end of the hose, keeping it in position when Maria returned to the scene reaching for the end of the wild hose, attempting to use her strength to point it at the building before her. She clenched the hose with a tight grip, her knuckles turning white when she held down the hose.

“Get started on the other one!” Maria shouted at the men keeping her focus on the building before her.

“You heard Agent Hill,” Scott replied when he, Clint and the agent who had been at his side moved over to the second hydrant a bit further down the street. Within seconds they repeated the same process and Scott looked up to see Maria and the other agent working the hose, extinguishing some of the flames over the building before her.

“We’ve got this,” Clint announced gripping the second hose tightly and spraying water over the building beside the one Logan had entered a short while earlier. The sound of sirens growing in the distance indicated that help was on its way when Scott surveyed the area once again.

“Has anyone seen Wolverine come out yet?” Scott couldn’t help, but question realizing that even with the hose pushing the water onto the crumbling building, the flames were still high over the third floor of the building causing more windows to crack under the weight of the smoke and heat building from within.

“I haven’t seen him. After the ladder went down everything just sort of spiraled out of control and…” Maria explained preparing to answer him fully when the sound of sirens carried through the morning. Looking up to the sky, Scott realized that the storm that had been threatening to overtake them on the way to town hadn’t arrived soon enough as the remains of the row of buildings crumbled down behind them. A moment later the building before Maria erupted sending glass and debris flying out across the sidewalk, shooting like bullets into the street.

“Hill!” Scott shouted racing across the pavement and leaping into the air to push her out of the way of flying glass. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in against his chest and pushing forward to get away from the flying debris. There was a popping sound and another small explosion causing the two of them to go crashing over onto the small grassy area beyond the strip of buildings. With a hard rush of wind, Scott toppled forward landing on top of Maria when flames rushed out of the wreckage. He leaned forward covering her completely with the weight of his body feeling the flash of the fire sweep over them, hot and threatening until he felt the first wave of water droplets rush over the them. It was then that he realized Clint had redirected one of the hoses spraying at the fire that had attempted to do them in. Once Scott was covered in water caught up in the wind that rushed over him, he raised his head up looking down at Maria from his positioning over her. Clearing his throat, he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked down at her with a concerned expression on his face.

“Are you alright?” he questioned worriedly when he noticed the soot on her cheek.

“I’ve been worse for wear in the past,” Maria spoke up behind gritted teeth when Scott realized the weight of his body pinned her down into the grass, “although you’re crushing my thigh with your knee.”

“Sorry,” Scott replied rolling off her and moving to an upright position.

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied sitting up as well and looking to the debris that covered the area where she’d been standing in moments earlier, “I guess thanks are in order.”

“Thank me when we get this under control,” Scott offered up rising to his feet. He held his hand out offering it to her in the hopes of helping her up, but she refused instead springing up on her own and moving past him to help with the hose once again.

“Over there!” one of the men shouted as Scott spotted another small child in the distance emerging from the building Clint had gone into a short while earlier. She was holding a dirty teddy bear, sobbing loudly when she stood at the front of the broken windows caught up amid smoke and flames.

“Get her out of there!” Scott ordered as one of the agents moved to scoop the child up to bring her to safety.

“Logan’s still not out here,” Maria reminded Scott when Scott found himself thinking about his companion.

“I’m going in for him,” Scott announced turning around to go after Logan when he spotted his companion pushing forward, moving out of the building with the frightened woman he’d rescued in his arms. Logan charged through the flames causing them to singe at his skin, to rip and tear at his flesh, but he was unyielding in his movements. He kept pressing forward pushing out onto the sidewalk and moving past Scott to one of the ambulances that had pulled up. Wordlessly Logan carried the woman to safety doing his best to diffuse the situation when Scott surveyed the building before him. It was clear that the fire’s point of origin hadn’t started in the daycare or the office that he’d been a part of, but something had set off the string of explosions that had overtaken the two buildings.

Frowning, he turned towards the sound of the sirens looking further down the street when he noticed an even larger apartment building surrounded by a black cloud and flames growing higher with the winds whipping around them.

“We’re going to need more hoses. If there are any more of them inside, we are going to need them if we want to stop that,” Scott shouted across the street to Clint.

“On it,” Clint nodded dutifully rushing to do what was needed when Scott found himself pushing forward with a new mission in mind.

Without a second thought he found himself pushing forward, wishing like hell he had his team with him in this moment now that it seemed the world was spiraling out of control. Still if there were people in danger, he was going to do his best to get things done the best he could. Looking around, he spotted a water tower in the distance on top of another apartment building untouched by the flames and seemingly within a close enough distance to diffuse the situation faster than the hoses would do under the circumstances. With quick thoughts and measured analysis, he found himself formulating a plan while his feet pressed forward with one thought in mind.

“Where’s Jeanie when we need her?” Logan questioned surprising Scott when he discovered his companion at his side, “She and the others would make this a hell of a lot easier right now.”

“Easy was never in the cards whenever we are involved. Fact it, it’s just us Logan,” Scott motioned to the water tower wondering if his plan would prove to be the key to ending the chaos that surrounded them. He could hear the firemen attempting to get their hoses attached to the untouched hydrants in their arrival, to do their best to put the fires out without too much collateral damage.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Logan coughed looking up to the water tower before them.

“We can’t leave it up to them. There isn’t enough time,” Scott explained as they jogged along the sidewalk.

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Logan’s eyes drifted up to the water tower that Scott had scouted a few seconds earlier.

“Think you’re up to it?” Scott questioned knowing full well that it was a gamble he was willing to take to save those innocent people on the streets around them.

“You’re one crazy son of a bitch, but let’s do this,” Logan agreed as they both rushed forward preparing to bring an end to the chaos that surrounded the otherwise quiet neighborhood that surrounded them.

* * *

Half an hour later Logan sat on the edge of the curb covered in layers of sweat, water and soot. In his mouth was a waterlogged, unlit cigar pinched between his lips after the bulk of the flames died down after he and Scott had effectively put out most of the fires. Although there had been casualties before they’d arrived, anyone who had been alive and trapped inside the burning buildings had been rescued and were well on their way to seeking out medical treatment. Looking up Logan bit down on his completely useless cigar and found himself staring at the row of buildings knowing only too well that they’d entered something unexpected. What should’ve been a quiet mission had become a media frenzy with news crews all around. Each one was hoping to cover the story of the unexpected blazes and the mutants and the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. who happened to be at the right place at the right time to pull the citizens of the town to safety on a whim. It was the classic story of the old day heroism where humans and mutants alike came together for the greater good of the quiet town rocked by the violent disaster. There were lights, cameras and a crowd forming that was far more dangerous than what had been taking place once the fires were put out. It seemed that the people around the town were eager and looking for answers, all curious about the things that were taking place, which meant a blockade around the area with rescue workers and police all around effectively putting an end to their mission for the time being.

“Looks like we’re not getting into that warehouse anytime soon,” Maria’s voice caught Logan off guard when he looked up from where he was seated on the curb to see her standing beside him.

“What gives you that idea?” he questioned sarcastically watching as she wiped at the spot of soot that was on her face. With a shake of her head she sat down beside him, making room for herself on the curb while Logan pushed the cigar around between his teeth. Realizing it was pointless, he spit it out onto the ground with a huff wishing like hell he’d been smart enough to leave it back in the SUV.

“Classy,” Maria groaned outwardly, “are you going to just leave that there? There’s children around here.”

“They shouldn’t be,” Logan grumbled reaching for the discarded cigar and pushing it back into his pocket.

“No, they shouldn’t,” she agreed when the two of them fell to silence once again.

Looking around the remains of the block, Logan couldn’t help, but admit it looked far better than he’d anticipated. Yes, the buildings were in shambles and it would undoubtedly take some time to repair, but he’d expected much worse when he’d entered the building to rescue those children. With a cough, he shook his head unable to completely shake the lingering effects of the smoke that had filled his lungs on the way out of the building.

“That was one hell of a rescue you initiated earlier today,” she spoke up again while tipping her head to the side to look up at him, “Seems like you and Summers make one hell of a team once you’re both finally on the same page.”

“We always do,” Logan laughed lightly finding himself gazing off into the distance where Scott was still beside the last little girl he’d pulled out of the fire. Although she’d checked out alright with the EMTs she was still frightened and awaiting the arrival of her parents when it seemed that she was lost in the shuffle. Worried that she would be alone Scott had stayed at her side, promising to keep her company until everything was as it should be.

“He’s one hell of a guy, isn’t he?” Maria jabbed Logan in the ribs, surprising him with her candid movement. He glanced over at her again noticing the hints of a smirk that carried over her lips, “I can see why you like following him so much.”

“Don’t tell me that you’ve suddenly developed a crush on our fearless leader,” Logan groaned outwardly unable to refrain from rolling his eyes. He turned his attention to Scott again watching as Scott offered the small child a toy that Logan suspected Scott had pulled from the store across the street. Knowing Scott, he’d undoubtedly left money for the toy even though the store was half torn apart in the aftermath of the blaze. Still as Scott handed the stuffed animal to the small child, Logan couldn’t help, but smile realizing that despite Scott’s cool, aloof demeanor there was that part of him that revealed the depth of the compassion and understanding that most ignored about the man he’d admired from afar. It was beautiful, completely a defining trait of Scott’s that didn’t often reveal itself, but when it did it was…

“Remarkable,” Maria broke though Logan’s thoughts causing him to take pause when he looked over to her once again, “although I have to admit as incredible as he seems to be, I wouldn’t dream of crushing on a taken man like that.”

“Right,” Logan replied behind gritted teeth. He couldn’t help, but scowl thinking about Scott’s marriage and the complicated relationship Scott still had with Jean despite the events of the last twenty-four hours. With a frown he reached into his pocket and pulled the broken cigar out again opting to place it between his lips in a defiant movement after he wiped it off on the front of his soot covered shirt despite its uselessness. He moved it around between his lips before speaking up with a grumble, “Jeanie is lucky to have him.”

“I wasn’t talking about Jean,” Maria patted his leg again in an uncharacteristic movement indicating that she’d picked up on Logan’s feelings for the man they were both watching, “He’s a good guy. He’s loyal to a fault, but at the same time…”

“Why are you doing this?” Logan questioned with a grumble looking over to her once again, “We aren’t part of a best friends club here and you’re not exactly forthcoming with bonding, so what gives?”

“What?” she shrugged placing her arms over her bent knees as she sat on the curb beside him, “Can’t I just be impressed with the way he handled things today?”

“You could be given that he shouldn’t be here in the first place, but what’s with this buddy/buddy routine?” Logan eyed her wearily, “We both know that you’re not here to bond with me.”

“Now I see where Scott’s skepticism comes from,” she sighed bringing one hand up to push her damp hair away from her face, “We faced one hell of a surprise this morning Logan.”

“You aren’t kidding,” Logan agreed looking around the remains of the street before them.

“You and I both know this wasn’t a coincidence,” Maria stated plainly, “Someone made for damn certain we weren’t getting into that warehouse.”

“Even if we tried now,” Logan glanced over at the uniformed officers who were circling around the warehouse, “it wouldn’t be nearly as easy as we were planning on. Not that I’m opposed to a challenge by any means.”

“With the media swarming that’s going to be an impossibility,” Maria noted with a scowl of her own, “but something tells me that someone worked very hard to ensure that would happen for us.”

“Who knew we were coming out here today?” Logan questioned looking over at her once again.

“My team and the two of you,” she frowned when the winds picked up around them once again.

“Which means someone on your team is dirty,” Logan added pointedly while biting down on the wet cigar, “They had to tip Markus off to our coming in today and…”

“I’m not sure Markus was the one behind this,” Maria added with a deep scowl when Logan finally gave up on the cigar. He pulled it out of his mouth, opting to toss it towards one of the overturned trash cans on the sidewalk. It flew into the center of the trash can effortlessly amidst the rubble that was spewed out over the sidewalk. He half expected Maria to complain about his actions, but instead she merely shook her head to release some of the damp droplets of water over her short, dark hair, “This feels like something a little more in house and…”

“You think that…” Logan’s jaw practically dropped at the realization when the first flash of worry swept over her otherwise unreadable features. It was subtle, but the scent of fear that she carried with her wasn’t subtle when Logan realized for the first time since this mission had begun that Maria Hill was scared. It wasn’t something he’d ever experienced before, but he was feeling it now when her lower lip seemed to tremble ever so slightly revealing the concern that carried over her.

“Someone on the inside sabotaged us,” Scott’s voice interrupted as Logan looked up to discover the man that he’d been admiring from afar standing beside them. Damp and dirty, still clad in the ridiculous sweater vest, Scott looked less like a member of the country club and more like a man who had been down and out after one of the worst days of his life. His neatly pressed slacks were caked in dirt and grass stains revealing anything, but the prim and proper boy scout that he was most of the time. Instead he was dirty and angry, enraged by the way things had turned out for all of them, “Admit it Hill. This was to stop us from getting in there.”

“Scott…” Maria stood upright, clearing her throat when she looked between him and Logan, “What this was today was…”

“An even bigger clusterfuck that you’re going to have to deal with,” Scott moved in closer to her when the tension in his jaw caused his cheekbone to tighten up. His posture was tense, but there was no mistaking the determination in his tone.

“I’m not denying that, but at the same time…” Maria looked around the broken-down street that surrounded them.

“Someone was expecting us long before we made our way out here. It is as if they were anticipating our movements every step of the way so that when we wound up here that we would find ourselves distracted,” Scott added causing Logan to look up at him behind curious eyes.

“But who?” Logan couldn’t help, but ask, “Who would know exactly what we were doing and why cause all of this?”

“Someone who doesn’t want the truth that is inside that warehouse to make its way out,” Scott motioned to the building still standing beyond where they were on the dilapidated sidewalk. It’s high walls around it served as a barrier to the fortress that Markus had built. It had been touched by the smoke, but it was nowhere near destroyed by the flames that had surrounded the rest of the block. Instead it served as a reminder of the power that Markus carried with him and what obstacles they still had to face on their mission, “You never mentioned that we were walking into a fortress today.”

“I didn’t know how big it was when I spotted the address,” Logan shrugged looking up at Scott once again, “It was something that I was speculating on given the information I collected at the club.”

“You did better than most would with the limited information, but still…” Maria added with a frown of her own, “This mission is over…at least for today.”

“We could probably still get in there,” Logan shrugged surveying the area. He spotted a few of the uniformed officers chatting with the news media before he looked to Scott again, “Everyone is distracted right now, so I’m sure if we maneuver ourselves a bit…”

“Today we can’t get in there,” Maria argued with a shake of her head, “As much as I wanted us to get this done, right now there are too many people around—too many cameras and…”

“I can do it,” Logan suggested watching as Scott seemed to be scrutinizing the situation they were in, “I could sneak in there and…”

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly despite the frustration Logan could feel practically bouncing off his body, “Maria’s right. We can’t do this now. We need to rethink the plan and regroup in the morning. After a good night’s sleep, we can figure out our next angle and…”

“By then it will be too late and you both know that,” Logan looked between them, “Whomever wanted to keep us from getting inside wants to make for damn certain that by the time we get in that whatever it is we’re looking for is already gone. For all we know right now they could be erasing whatever files you want to get your hands on and…”

“No,” Scott insisted seemingly contemplating Logan’s words, “they aren’t erasing anything. Everything that is in there is going to stay in there until someone else finds their way inside and…”

“What?” Maria questioned looking to Scott again.

“Markus isn’t about to let go of the cards he’s holding. Even if he was, we both know that he wouldn’t be able to get rid of that much information that fast,” Scott continued to explain to them, “He’s smarter than most people and I don’t buy for a second that the warehouse is his only outlet for information. Just like the club wasn’t the only place where the servers were hosted. He’s smarter and more connected than that.”

“You think he could have something up on a cloud server?” Maria questioned contemplating his words, “Considering how vulnerable that kind of system could be…”

“I don’t think it’s a cloud server,” Scott shook his head dismissively, “Markus would think about the possible vulnerabilities involved with that. Instead he would do the unexpected—something that most wouldn’t think to do in his situation…”

“Like what?” Logan questioned looking between Scott and Maria realizing that it seemed the both were sharing a hidden string of thoughts between them.

“Low-tech?” Maria arched a speculative brow.

“That was my thought on it,” Scott nodded decisively, “He’s not going to leave it all out for just anyone to seize on a whim. He’s going to make someone work for it before they can even get close…”

“Even so given what Logan said we both know that a lot of the volunteer data is being sent to that warehouse,” Maria nodded to the oversized building before her, “It’s the one place where we can get the immediate data and…”

“We might be able to get some things, but what the people you work for are looking for is going to be buried deeper than that in walls that won’t be so easy to break,” Scott concluded looking down at the front of his soot covered shirt. With a halfhearted attempt he wiped his fingers over the sweater vest attempting to push away some of the soot, but when it was clear that his dirt covered fingers only made things worse, he gave up on the idea opting instead to continue the conversation, “I think we’re going about this mission the wrong way.”

“That wouldn’t be a first for us,” Maria sighed shaking her head and allowing more water and soot to go flying across the sidewalk.

“That doesn’t mean that we still shouldn’t get in there,” Logan offered up his contribution to the conversation, “I’m sure there’s something worthwhile inside that building that we could use for leverage somehow given that someone went to these lengths to destroy this street today.”

“I won’t argue that at all,” Maria agreed with him after a moment’s hesitation, “As much as I wouldn’t normally say this, I think Logan’s got a point.”

“As long as we figure out where we’re running with this mission,” Scott pointed out turning his focus to Maria once again, “Right about now is the time we start picking sides.”

“I think it’s clear what side of this I’m on Summers,” Maria stated as the two once again seemed to share an unspoken exchange. After a long silence when both parties seemed satisfied Scott finally nodded again.

“Good, then I think I should point out that the next time they send someone in, they are going to try to destroy Markus,” Scott stated plainly as it was clear something was brewing behind his tense posture and his uneasy jawline.

“Yeah, well that was kind of obvious given that we were met by all of this. Not that I would mind the guy being out of our lives, but at the same time…” Logan started watching as Scott began to pace around the sidewalk.

“This isn’t going to end well. We all know that and the longer we let this go, the more room for error there is considering that someone wants to shut all of this down,” Scott decided contemplating the words that were thrown out at him, “Perhaps Logan’s right about us going in there today.”

“Scott, we can’t go in there. Not now,” Maria argued moving in closer to him, “If we attempt to move in at this point, then it could prove dangerous. With the cameras the whole world will see that we…”

“If we don’t give it a shot, then we stand to lose everything that we were hoping to obtain on this mission. Even if Markus doesn’t have what we were looking for, there’s still something in there that we undoubtedly need to get out of play in all of this,” Scott reminded her with a shake of his head, “You know as well as I do that if we don’t get in there, someone else will and when they do…”

“You were the one who was convinced that waiting was a good idea to begin with,” she answered as Logan watched the exchange between the two of them, “You said it yourself that…”

“We don’t have time to hesitate. Logan’s right,” Scott added making a bold step towards her, “The way I see it we need to act and do it fast.”

“If we go in there right now, then there’s no telling what will happen. Considering what we entered into today with the fire and the explosions,” Maria shook her head and sighed, “There are going to be investigators out here the rest of the afternoon and…”

“We return tonight,” Scott decided looking around at the crowd surrounding them, “We take the time to get cleaned up. We rest and regroup, then we put together a small team and go in there tonight.”

“For all we know her team is compromised Slim,” Logan piped in thinking about all he’d learned in his brief time talking to Maria, “If we start this operation all over again from the start like we did this morning…”

“We won’t take the entire team,” Scott answered turning to Maria once again, “We do this with as little contact as possible. Tonight, we can work out a plan and then I can go in there.”

“No,” Logan stood up and shook his head, “Not a chance. You aren’t doing this alone.”

“Logan, you can’t decide what I do or don’t do. I’m team leader and…” Scott argued with him.

“I don’t give a damn if you are team leader. We both know that you can’t get into that fortress on your own,” Logan hesitated thinking about the weight of his words, “I mean okay, maybe you could, but you could do it a hell of a lot easier if you had a team coming in there with you in case things hit an unnecessary snag.”

“Logan, I really don’t think that…” Scott began again.

“No,” Maria piped in, “he’s right. You’d do better with a team. You need a few of us to offset any potential dangers you might encounter and…”

“Fine,” Scott conceded taking a step back, “then we form a small team we can trust and…”

“I’m in,” Clint’s voice caused both Scott and Maria to take pause. He moved out of the shadows making his way towards the group with a determined crease in his brow, “What? Did you three think you were being covert about a potential operation standing here talking on the street corner out in the open? If discretion was what you were after, you didn’t really think this one through.”

“Clint, you really don’t need to…” Maria’s worried voice rose with concern for her colleague.

“…find out who worked like hell to make sure we failed at our mission?” Clint wiggled a suggestive brow, “No, I think I do. Those kids could’ve been killed today all because someone wanted us to fail. When I think about the people whose lives were taken before we arrived…”

“…they deserve some justice,” Logan finished for him. He rose to his feet as well and moved in closer to the crowd.

“And they’ll find that once we get inside that warehouse,” Scott pointed out turning his attention to Maria, “Once we get in there, we can finally put an end to all of this. Then we can discover who sabotaged us today once we’ve completed the mission.”

“It’s risky, but you’re right,” Maria finally agreed with him. She looked around the group before speaking up in a quiet, warning tone, “Tonight we do this—just the four of us and when it’s done…”

“We’ll make sure that this sees a proper ending,” Scott answered cryptically as Logan found himself wondering what they were getting themselves into.

* * *

Logan stood in the middle of the motel room wondering how he and Scott had managed to go from one shithole to another now that they had agreed to stick around in Kingston to make their way into Markus’s compound undetected once the sun went down. It seemed like a simple enough plan, but as Logan looked at himself in the mirror hanging over the flat screen television on the dresser unable to ignore the ache that carried over his body, he found himself concerned about what the night might bring upon him. Glancing at his reflection, he could see that his eyes were tired, his face still covered in dirt and soot, but it was the tiny patch of burned flesh that carried over his left cheek and his right arm that left him feeling concerned. Leaning forward to attempt to look closer at the wound in the dim lighting of the darkened room, he found himself met by another cough knowing only too well that the effects of the smoke hadn’t left him completely.

“Damn it,” Logan cursed touching the tender flesh when it seemed that the burn lingered a little too long. Closing his eyes he pressed his palms out flat on the dresser before him thinking about the events leading up to his and Scott’s return to the budget motel near the highway. It was another nightmare of a place, but cheap enough to not put a dent in their budget as Clint and Maria had also booked rooms across the motel. They were on a higher floor, both in rooms facing the opposite side of the motel, but the one that Scott and Logan were in had one hell of a view of the mountains beyond where they were. That part of the room had spoken to Logan as he reopened his eyes and turned away from the mirror. He walked over to the partially opened curtains and pulled them open a bit further, unable to ignore the breathtaking sight before him. It was the one part of the day that hadn’t been surrounded by chaos and ugliness as Logan found himself contemplating the road he was taking.

“We’re going to have one hell of a night ahead of us,” he muttered to himself in between coughs wishing like hell that he didn’t have such a delayed response to healing. It seemed as time went on his healing factor hadn’t been cooperative—undoubtedly a side effect of the Euphoria he’d been taking for the last couple of weeks. At first, he hadn’t thought much of it, but now as he heard sounds of water running in the shower indicating that Scott was still cleaning up, he found himself met by a new concern about what his condition could do.

“You’re going to be fine,” he grumbled attempting to brush off the inner voice of his concerns. Instead he turned away from the window, opting instead to focus on the cracked bathroom door. Unable to help himself he moved forward making his way across the double room and towards the tiny opening that revealed the slit of light coming out from the bathroom. Granted once they’d settled into the room, Scott had readily discovered that the lock on the door had been broken indicating that once again they’d booked a winner of a room. However, despite that knowledge of the broken lock, the door still had the ability to close, yet Scott had left the bathroom open giving way to Logan’s curiosities about his teammate.

Stepping forward Logan stretched his arm out, unable to ignore the pulsating thrum that struck up in the base of his throat. He licked his lips, silently condemning himself for his actions when his fingertips skimmed over the splintered wooden door before him. With a labored breath and a racing heart, he nudged the door open further, unable to ignore the hunger inside of him upon spotting Scott in the shower lathering up his body with the cheap motel body wash that they’d been provided. His head was tipped down and his lean, muscular body was blurred out by the frosted glass door that the shower provided. It seemed an unlikely choice for their motel, but given how old it was, Logan strongly suspected it was reminiscent of the early part of the century when they were all about trying to impress their guests with upgrades. The rest of the place, however, left much to be desired. The pool out back had been drained and filled with leaves, the lobby upholstered with things Logan suspected were from were from one of the neighboring thrift shops and the rooms left much to be desired, but the bathroom in itself was clean—cleaner than Logan had expected when his gaze drifted away from Scott in the shower to Scott’s ruby quartz glasses on the bathroom counter.

Staring at them, Logan found himself caught up in a memory that he hadn’t considered until that moment in time seeing them discarded over the counter top away from Scott’s handsome face. Frowning Logan reached out for Scott’s glasses picking them up when suddenly a tremor overtook him. He closed his eyes and in an instant, he found himself standing on Alkali Lake holding a similar pair of glasses when the realization his world had ended had rocked him to the core.

 _“Not everybody heals as fast as you, Logan.”_ Long lost words spoken a lifetime ago echoed in the back of Logan’s mind causing him to crumble at the thought of the last time he’d seen his Scott caught up in a moment of torment. He’d pulled away from Logan—too far gone for Logan to pull him back in, but it was the regret in knowing that he hadn’t tried hard enough that rocked Logan to the core. Guiltily he held the glasses in his hand wishing like hell that he’d been given a reset button for that moment in time. It was by far one of the worst moments of his life and now that he stood in the motel bathroom holding on to something that still cut him to pieces, he found himself at a loss.

Shaking at the thought Logan looked down to the glasses again unable to ignore the flood of emotion that overtook him. Surrounded by fading recollections his hands were trembling, his body shaking at the memory of the life he’d put behind him. In his mind he could see the man he loved and lost, and his heart ached. Looking in the mirror he could see the warm body behind him, knowing full well that there were so many similarities between them—so many signs that they were still one in the same, but the hard reality was that his Scott was gone forever. In those fateful moments at Alkali Lake Scott’s glasses served as the last remaining object to hold onto until Jean had destroyed them upon Logan’s questioning over what had transpired between her and Scott. Even now he felt his fears mounting, the memory striking him like the weight of the world on his shoulders sending him crashing from that brief period of bliss in his life transformed into madness when he’d lost the love of his life. His heart ached, his mind consumed by the sound of Scott’s laughter, of the warmth of his arms around Logan to the nights they spent together in bed listening to jazz and talking about what the future could hold for them after life had delivered them a second chance. It was perfect in so many ways giving Logan so many sleepless nights when the memory became overwhelming. It was everything he’d wanted—everything he’d been convinced he would never have in his life, but in the blink of an eye it was over with only the fractured glasses serving as a reminder of the man that once was.

“Slim,” Logan sighed touching the glasses again. He skimmed the tip of his index finger over the dark frame unable to refrain from pulling them off the counter to hold them. An ache swelled in his chest, his thoughts of his old life overtaking him—reminding him of all he stood to lose now that time had changed for him. His past would always be a part of him, but in this new place where there was an opportunity for the second chance, he knew he had so much more to lose. Letting out a slow exhale, Logan tried to focus again when there was a soft splashing sound from behind where he stood.

“Are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to join me?” Scott questioned catching Logan off guard with his words. For a moment Logan wondered if he’d imagined them when he set Scott’s glasses back down on the counter top. He placed them in the same position they were in upon his arrival beside Scott’s clothing, but as he soon as he did, he noticed the blood that was caked into Scott’s sweater vest he’d been so hellbent upon wearing. Reaching for it, Logan inspected the vest taking a closer look and wondering just what injuries Scott had collected during their day of battling the fires. Displeased with his discovery, Logan set Scott’s sweater vest down again opting to face the shower with a concerned scowl on his face.

“I’m warning you now the water is cold, but if you get in here soon, then you might get some warm water,” Scott’s voice was meant as a suggestion, but there were commanding undertones that Logan found himself hopeful to respond to. Effortlessly he peeled his own soiled shirt away from his body, haphazardly tossing it onto the counter over Scott’s bloodied vest. With a quick shuffle he kicked off his shoes and his pants, shimmying them down to the floor before he found himself caught up in a moment of hesitation. When his silence seemed to create a tension in the air, Scott cleared his throat and stiffened behind the frosted glass, “Unless of course you’d rather take your chances on your own.”

“I don’t mind cold showers,” Logan finally announced reaching for the glass door. He pulled on the handle watching it swing open out into the modest sized bathroom. Almost immediately he was hit by a puff of smoke indicating that there had been once warmth in the tiny stall that Scott occupied. However, upon Logan’s arrival, the last hints of warmth spilled out through the door and it felt lukewarm at best when Scott twisted away from Logan to move forward underneath the steady shower spray. Smiling Logan stepped forward finding himself eager to get closer to his companion, “especially when they are shared with warm bodies.”

“I don’t know how close you’re going to want to get to me right now,” Scott sighed stretching his hand out to the indent in the wall. His fingers searched the small cove pulling out the tiny bottle of shampoo he’d brought in there with him, “I smell like smoke and ash. No matter how many times I try to scrub it off, I just can’t…”

“Let me help,” Logan suggested sliding his arm out around Scott to grip the small bottle in hand. The movement caused Scott to stiffen beside him, his body growing taut and still when Logan’s arm brushed up against Scott’s shoulder. Standing perfectly still Scott’s breath grew shallow, his body rigid and excited from what Logan could sense when Logan’s fingers gripped at the top of Scott’s palm. Stepping forward Logan rubbed up against Scott in a light, leisurely movement before wrapping his own fingers around the bottle, “I’ll be able to tell when you’re clean.”

“Right,” Scott decided biting down on his lower lip. For a moment Logan wondered if Scott was regretting his decision to invite Logan to join him, but if he had, he didn’t speak of it. Instead he stood perfectly still awaiting Logan’s further instruction.

“Tip your head back,” Logan suggested opening the top of the bottle. Scott did as he was instructed guiding his head back just enough for Logan to pour some of the shampoo into his fingers. He rubbed his palms together working them to a lather. Once he was satisfied with the foamy substance, Logan reached out to Scott’s damp hair, gently working his fingers through Scott’s tresses working up to a light massage over Scott’s scalp. Soon after Scott’s lips parted causing a faint, barely audible, contented sigh to spill over his lips when Logan stepped forward.

“Feel good?” Logan questioned unable to resist the urge to press forward and place a kiss over Scott’s bare shoulder.

“Too good,” Scott admitted with another defeated sigh. He remained perfectly still allowing Logan the moment to touch him in such a chaste fashion working his fingers through Scott’s soft, damp hair. After a minute or so, Logan eased his fingers over the bottom of Scott’s hair, allowing his thumb to skim over the back of Scott’s neck in a teasing slide, dipping down over the curve into the hollow between his shoulder blades. The movement caused goosebumps to form on Scott’s flesh when Logan stepped forward silently coaxing Scott to lean his head downward to wash away the shampoo in his hair. Doing as instructed Scott placed his hand out on the wall before him, bracing himself before dipping forward and allowing the lukewarm water to spray over the top of his head.

“You weren’t kidding about it being cold in here,” Logan noted as Scott seemed to tremble before him, clearly caught up in the combination of the temperature and the intimacy of Logan’s gesture. Wordlessly Logan reached up bringing his fingers through Scott’s hair again attempting to help rinse out the remaining shampoo out of Scott’s hair.

“You should’ve been in here when I first turned it on,” Scott let out a tight, nervous laugh in a small attempt to keep things light between them, “If you think it’s cold now, you would’ve been freezing before when…”

“If you would’ve invited me, I would’ve readily accepted,” Logan divulged brazenly moving forward to press a kiss over Scott’s shoulder. The movement caused Scott to tense up beside him, body growing even more rigid when Logan’s hands eased down over the back of Scott’s neck, curling around the top of his shoulders and working into his knotted flesh. Within seconds Scott yelped—surprising Logan when Scott seemed to tense up instead of relaxing. It made Logan take pause, hesitating momentarily before Scott finally leaned forward bringing his hand against the wall in allowing Logan to continue with his massage. With Scott’s head tipped down, his body slowly melted to the touch as he allowed Logan the opportunity to massage him in such an intimate fashion.

“Damn,” Scott cursed bringing one hand up to his mouth. He bit down on his knuckles when Logan applied more pressure to the massage, kneading Scott’s muscle with just enough firmness to cause Scott to gasp at the release of the pressure he’d been holding onto when it was clear tension consumed him, “That’s good.”

“Of course, it is,” Logan mused with a slow smirk spreading over his lips. For a few more seconds his hands worked over Scott’s shoulders, working their way down his spine, gently massaging the firm, solid flesh. With each movement Logan’s hands made, Scott’s head still dipped forward allowing the water to run over the top of his head and down over his back to meet Logan’s touch with damp ease. With each movement Logan made, his hands pressed lower gripping and squeezing before he held Scott’s hips in his large palms. He could sense Scott’s desire radiating over his skin, could feel his urgency when Logan’s palms flattened out over Scott’s lower back pushing up to work at the tension that had consumed him after their day on the street fighting the wild flames, “Any better?”

“Keep doing that and I’m going to forget what I’m here for in the first place,” Scott half teased revealing a moment of lightness despite the dark that they’d faced in the morning they’d put behind them.

“Would it be all that bad?” Logan questioned brazenly pushing his palms down over Scott’s hips again. Without a word, he stretched his fingers out, gripping and squeezing at Scott’s bottom, working the taut flesh with his firm, penetrating massage. With each movement he made, Logan gripped harder, squeezing and pressing over Scott’s ass, guiding his bottom to part—to stretch and move beneath his touch, relaxing to Logan’s massage. His thumbs pushed up and down over the curve of Scott’s bottom causing him to slide in closer to the wall, hands now pressed against the pale, yellow tiling when the weight of the power Logan held in the moment surrounded him, taking him from quiet companion to a man driven by hunger and desire. Urgently Logan pressed forward sinking his teeth into Scott’s shoulder once again, unable to contain himself when his thumbs pushed inward parting Scott’s flesh with a tentative slide. The movement caused Scott to rock back against him, to shift and twist, planting his feet further into the shower floor, parting his thighs just enough to offer Logan a teasing taste of what he’d experienced the night before.

“Logan…” Scott spoke his name saying nothing more yet revealing so much in the urgency of his tone. The soft hiss that surrounded the sound spoke volumes of Scott’s urgency. The tiny whimper that spilled over his lips when Logan’s thumb pressed inward circling Scott’s vulnerable opening only served to fuel Logan’s hunger remembering only too well how much Scott had enjoyed him the previous evening. With a predatory smirk, Logan continued to circle and tease Scott’s flesh, carefully dipping inward enough to tease at the promise of penetration, but he held back instead rubbing Scott’s bottom again, slow and lingering, taunting and determined until finally Logan collected Scott’s hips in a rough grip. For a moment time stood still leaving them lost in the idea of one another until Logan thought back to the previous evening in the hotel room.

“Logan?” Scott questioned picking up on Logan’s hesitation when they stood together in the cooling shower.

“How do you want it?” Logan asked wrapping his fingers around Scott’s hips harder than before. The twist of his thumb into Scott’s hip caused Scott to whimper loudly, his hands pushing harder against the wall when it became clear that Logan’s questioning had sparked a great many ideas in Scott’s mind. Without waiting for an answer Logan reached up gripping the back of Scott’s hair and wrenching his head back. With the movement Scott’s lips parted, his body damn near trembling. Logan licked a hot, damp, predatory line over the curve of Scott’s shoulder, tapering up from the rounded sinewy muscle to the inner shell of Scott’s ear. With a taunting flick of his tongue, Logan gripped Scott’s hair tighter, opting to reach down with his right hand and wrap his thick, determined fingers around Scott’s growing manhood. Upon contact, Scott bucked back against Logan, involuntarily panting when Logan stroked him, up and down, twisting his fingers in a light circular motion just enough to spark a reaction in Scott. The harder Logan tugged at Scott’s hair, wrenching Scott’s head back, the more Scott seemed to respond to Logan’s touch, pushing himself forward into Logan’s palm, allowing Logan to stroke him roughly underneath the cooling water.

“Do you really have to ask?” Scott finally spit out beneath the overhead spray. His plump lips were parted, eyes remaining closed tightly exerting the ultimate control when Logan’s fingers gripped harder on Scott’s dark hair pulling it again. His teeth sank into Scott’s shoulder with an animalistic growl, biting down harder into Scott’s now relaxed muscle. Almost immediately Scott’s cock twitched, eager and ready for Logan’s attention when Logan weighed out his options. Caught up in a moment of contemplation, Logan released Scott opting instead to simply press up behind Scott allowing their bodies to touch from shoulder to thigh, skin to skin in their cramped quarters.

“Logan?” Scott questioned uncertain by the abrupt departure of Logan’s hands moving to down at Logan’s sides, no longer touching Scott in their new situation with one another.

“Ask me nicely,” Logan ordered in a low, suggestive drawl. He pushed his hips forward, rubbing his thick, heavy cock against Scott as his own body started to grow more excited at the contact with his lover.

“There’s nothing nice about what I want you to do to me,” Scott flirted surprising Logan with the blatant, suggestive tone that he’d used. Immediately Logan found himself rock hard and hungry, ready to break down all the walls between them, but he remained firm in his positioning not allowing Scott to distance himself from the situation between them.

“Tell me what you want Scott,” Logan dropped his hands over Scott’s hips again. He simply held onto them in a light grip, refusing to bring forth any sense of teasing when Scott swallowed down hard again.

“If you have to ask, then…” Scott’s voice held a moment of distain, but it was soon released when Logan’s hand rubbed at Scott’s outer thigh again.

“Last night you asked me to fuck you,” Logan slurred pressing a soft kiss over the back of Scott’s neck, “You made no mistake about requesting what you wanted, yet today you can’t even play nice when push comes to shove.”

“I don’t want nice,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth. His long, dark lashes were closed tightly emphasizing their lush length displaying the beautiful lines of Scott’s face as he fought for control. His face was growing a bright shade of red when something seemed to shift inside of him. He twisted on his feet, caught up in a moment of nervousness. Taking that as a cue Logan’s teeth sank into Scott’s shoulder again, biting down hard enough to make Scott whimper all over again. His hips shifted again, body sliding back against Logan when Logan’s hand surrounded Scott’s manhood.

“Yes, you do,” Logan asserted stroking Scott all over again in a leisurely slide when the shower seemed to work against them blasting out an icy spray that caused Scott to yelp in surprise.

“Damn it,” Scott cursed stepping back and preparing to move away from Logan when Logan pushed forward slamming Scott up against the wall. The movement only served to send the icy blast rushing over them, pelting down upon them in a sharp contrast to the flames that had damn near consumed them during the fires earlier in the day. Wordlessly Logan reached up for the back of Scott’s head, gripping at his neck in contemplation.

“Beg me to fuck you,” Logan snarled releasing Scott’s neck. Instead he reached for Scott’s hands pushing them up over his head, slamming them hard against the shower wall with the cold water hitting the both like a series of knives jabbing at them in the most uninvited of fashion. If anything, it should’ve been a total turn off, but with Scott’s head arched back and his lips parted, he swallowed down the water coming from above, taking it in with a soft smacking of his lips. He repeated the movement a few times before pinching his lips tightly together.

“Too proud to beg?” Logan questioned reaching down to pinch at Scott’s bottom, gripping it hard enough to cause Scott to expel a pained whimper.

“Logan,” Scott scowled preparing to admonish Logan further when Logan pushed his fingers through the back of Scott’s hair. Wordlessly he shoved Scott’s face forward, pressing Scott’s left cheek against the pale-yellow tile, keeping Scott captive to his demand. Without a sound, Logan stepped back thinking about their options. He reached down to stroke himself thinking about all the ways he’d love to ravish Scott when he was suddenly aware of the missing components to their passion play. As if on instinct, Scott let out a low rumble of a sigh and spoke up in a muted tone, “It’s in my pants pocket.”

“What is?” Logan questioned feigning innocence when Scott shuddered against him.

“Don’t be an asshole,” Scott warned breaking from the moment between them, “Just get it before I change my mind.”

“Fine. Don’t move,” Logan ordered grudgingly taking a step away from Scott to move out of their cramped quarters. Instead he carefully moved out onto the floor trying not to slip when he reached for a towel. He tossed it beneath him attempting to prevent a disaster post-shower when he collected Scott’s pants. Reaching into the pocket he discovered the same brand of condoms and lubricant that Logan picked up in the bar’s vending machine the previous evening. With a smirk, Logan couldn’t help, but imagine Scott going back to the bar and picking up the necessary precautions for them during the time he’d pretended not to think about their coupling. That thought fueled Logan’s hunger, creating a deeper need inside of him when he returned to the shower only to discover Scott just as he’d left him pressed up against the wall with arms raised high above his head as if awaiting Logan’s instruction. Smirking Logan stepped forward smacking Scott’s bottom with a low, resounding pop that left a mark on Scott’s smooth, pale flesh. Surprisingly Scott stood still not moving an inch, never flinching when Logan joined him once again. Smirking Logan reached up for Scott’s thick, dark hair twisting it in his grip again in order to wrench Scott’s hair back, “Good boy. I see you’re not so bad yourself at following orders.”

“I can learn to compromise when necessary,” Scott answered in a neutral tone.

“In that case,” Logan reached down between them, carefully bringing his fingers to Scott’s bottom, sliding inward over the cease to feel Scott’s warmth. He took his time, teasing Scott’s opening, drawing out each sensation in the cold water until finally he pressed his thumb forward breaching Scott’s body once again.

“Fuck Logan,” Scott cursed spreading his legs wider to allow Logan access to his inner pleasure center. With each movement Logan made, Scott was more pliable, inviting Logan inside with ease and arching back to greedily accept Logan’s touch, to take him in with all his hunger, wild and wanton wanting something more than either one had anticipated after the way things had ended the night before.

“Beg me,” Logan slurred pushing up against Scott again. This time, he used his weight to crush Scott into the wall holding him captive to his desire all over again. Biting down on his lower lip, Scott fought against Logan’s request, keeping his firm resolve when Logan’s fingers moved in deeper, drawing out the slick pleasurable sensation building inside of Scott. Just when it seemed that Scott was about to refuse Logan’s request, Logan pulled back stepping away from Scott and leaving him in a state of longing and desire, “Forget it.”

“Wait,” Scott lowered his hand reaching back behind him to grip urgently at Logan’s damp outer thigh, “Don’t go.”

“Why not?” Logan questioned cautiously watching Scott standing before him caught up in a moment where logic fought against desire, keeping him from asking for what he’d truly wanted despite his initial invitation.

“Because I want…” Scott’s voice was shakier than Logan anticipated.

“Yes?” Logan questioned stepping in closer to Scott once again.

“I want…” Scott repeated with a deep, raspy breath. His chest rose and fell in anticipation, mind clearly betraying his body when Logan reached out for Scott’s hips.

“What was that?” Logan questioned keeping his hand on Scott’s hips, making no other movement towards completion.

“Don’t make me beg you,” Scott whined arching his bottom out again, attempting to entice Logan into giving into his request.

“Nope,” Logan smirked trailing his index finger up over Scott’s spine, pushing up from Scott’s bottom to the back of his neck. Slowly he traced every perfect line of Scott’s back, savoring the chaste touch between them, “If you want it, then you’re going to have to beg me. Say please.”

“Logan…”

“Say it,” Logan commanded contemplating just how quickly the tables had turned between them after a night of more confusion than he’d anticipated. While the exchange had been far from what Logan had longed for, it was clear how much Scott had wanted him as Scott’s desire grew far more intoxicating than Logan cared to admit. With each passing second Scott’s frustration mounted, his body growing more pliable to Logan’s touch, yet Logan held firm in his positioning.

“Pl…please,” Scott finally whispered. His body trembled in combination of the water and the moment realizing that he’d given up something he hadn’t been prepared to when he laid out the rules of their exchange the night before.

“Please what?” Logan’s grin expanded.

“Logan,” Scott frowned.

“Say it,” Logan instructed in a firm, authoritative tone, “Tell me what you want and say it nice or I’m going to leave you to cool off on your own.”

“You’re a dick,” Scott spat back defiantly attempting to move out of Logan’s reach only to have Logan slam him up against the shower wall again. This time Logan reached for Scott’s arm wrenching it behind his back in a twisting movement. He pushed it up just enough to immobilize Scott, to keep him at bay long enough for Logan to reach down between them again and tease Scott.

“Perhaps, but you want that from me,” Logan deduced feeling himself overtaken by an animalistic hunger with Scott in his grasp.

“I hate you,” Scott spat back at him. He made a lighthearted effort at pulling out of Logan’s hold on him. It was a feeble attempt as Logan squeezed harder at Scott’s arm, pushing it up further in order to manipulate Scott into moving around out of the cold spray of the shower and against the adjacent wall.

“No, you don’t,” Logan decided releasing Scott’s arm long enough to guide Scott’s hands up over his head against the shower wall. With a kick of his foot at the inside of Scott’s ankle, Logan separated Scott’s thighs watching as Scott’s body trembled before him. Scott’s shallow breaths surrounded the small shower serving as a siren song to the beast within Logan. He reached down between Scott’s thighs teasing his index finger up over the damp skin, reveling in the goosebumps forming at the touch. Smirking wolfishly Logan reached up from the space between Scott’s thighs cupping and holding Scott’s testicles in hand, sliding his thumb up behind them to offer up a light squeeze when Scott bucked back towards him. This time he didn’t bother to wait for a response as he pushed his way inside of Scott, hard and reckless with hips moving in cadence to Scott’s cries. With each pounding thrust, the pressure built taking them both from longing to something far more primitive—far beyond either had anticipated until Logan abruptly pulled out of Scott taking a step back and placing an unwelcome distance between them, “Hell, I think I changed my mind. It just doesn’t feel right…”

“Doesn’t feel right?” Scott questioned in a raw, broken tone. He spun around to face Logan, his chest heaving and out of control when he moved forward keeping his eyes pinched closed tightly, “Logan…you can’t be serious. You couldn’t possibly…”

“Beg me Slim,” Logan demanded again watching as Scott fought with himself to give in to his lover’s request, “Plead with me to make you come undone and I might change my mind about walking away.”

“This is ridiculous,” Scott shook his head defiantly, “I’m not going to…”

“Then I’m not going to,” Logan attempted to turn away leaving Scott hard and longing for something more between them. He stepped out of the shower feeling the damp towel beneath his toes when Scott let out a loud, audible whimper of protest.

“Okay…please…” Scott’s voice was shaky at best, his words coming out in a desperate uncontrolled plea for something more.

“Please what?” Logan questioned folding his arms in front of his chest.

“Get back into this shower and finish what you started,” Scott snapped with agitation in his tone, “Please.”

“Hmm…” Logan fought to suppress the amusement that carried over him, “nope I’m not sure I’m convinced yet. You don’t seem like you want it enough.”

“Don’t want it enough? Logan this is crazy,” Scott threw his hands up in the air with frustrations mounting, “My God, I invited you into the shower. What more do you want from me? A signed invitation?”

“A little gratitude might be nice,” Logan spoke up suggestively knowing full well how close he was to having Scott where he wanted him, “Maybe even a little enthusiasm and appreciation for…”

“I don’t believe this,” Scott huffed shaking his head and moving forward out of the shower, “I don’t know why I even bothered. This was a mistake…”

“No, not doing this would be a mistake,” Logan stomped across the bathroom reaching out to seize Scott in his arms. Unabashedly he pulled Scott into a rough, aggressive kiss, forcing their mouths together and knowing full well that Scott would be furious with him for crossing that line. The night before Scott had asked him not to, but fueled with hunger and urgency, Logan forced the kiss upon him, doing his best to give it to Scott in a way that Scott couldn’t deny Logan’s request. It was rough and wild, deep and urgent, primitive and reckless when Scott’s palms wrapped around Logan’s shoulders, pushing down over his back to rake his nails down Logan’s spine. The movement caused Logan to snarl, to withdraw from the kiss and glare at Scott knowing full well that the games they were playing with one another were only bound to lead to disaster down the road.

“You’re going to pay for that,” Scott warned sharply preparing to throw out a few more fighting words after Logan’s bold move. He curled his fingers into a fist, pushing forward to punch at Logan’s abdomen with the rage that poured out over his senses. There was a fire burning beneath the surface, something deeper happening, but instead of letting Scott walk away, Logan seized Scott’s wrist preventing Scott from hitting him again. With a small laugh Logan reached out to Scott, shifting him around the small bathroom until he had Scott bent over the counter, with Scott’s hands gripping at the sides of the sink. His palm pressed down over Scott’s spine, bending him over the edge of the counter and forcing him to lean before the mirror unable to turn away from what was happening. Reaching for Scott’s glasses, Logan pushed them over Scott’s face coaxing him to allow Logan to put them back on for what they were doing.

“You’re going to watch this,” Logan announced pulling at Scott’s hair to coax him into looking in the mirror before him, “If you want this, then you’re going to watch yourself begging me for this. You’re going to take in every single second of it knowing that you’re mine completely.”

“Forget this…” Scott frowned attempting to stand upright when Logan forced Scott to face his desire head on. Scott scowled tightly, rising on his toes only to have Logan push him against the counter top again. Standing on top of the towel that Logan had placed on the floor moments earlier, Logan nudged his thigh between Scott’s legs forcing them to part further in order to make room for Logan’s presence inside of him.

“I don’t think so,” Logan decided readily slamming Scott over the counter top once again, “You said you didn’t want nice out of me. Has that changed?”

Defiantly Scott tipped his head up watching Logan in the mirror behind an angry scowl. His jaw was clenched, his face flushed, but it was the full throbbing arousal between his thighs, pressed up against the countertop that had confirmed Logan’s suspicions about what Scott was asking for. Still Scott remained silent, using his defiance to only press the issue further with Logan.

“Scott…” Logan frowned gripping at the back of Scott’s neck to position him again over the counter, “Has that changed?”

“No,” Scott spat back in a harsh, aggressive tone, “it hasn’t.”

“Good,” Logan replied reaching down with one hand to guide himself to Scott’s opening. When he was met by a stubborn silence, he looked up at Scott’s reflection in the mirror, watching Scott lick his bottom lip urgently. Smiling, Logan pressed the head of his condom covered arousal against Scott’s opening, watching Scott’s face grow flushed waiting on bated breath for Logan, who was preparing to fully penetrate him, leading him closer to the promise of completion, but still holding back, “Now, where were we?”

“You’re an asshole,” Scott snarled pushing his hands harder up against the countertop. He arched his back defiantly, twisting his hips out towards Logan. His eyes were undoubtedly glaring at Logan behind his glasses through the reflection in the mirror, hating the way that Logan was forcing him to see himself caught up in what he’d craved, held captive to a desire that he’d fought to suppress for so very long. With that thought in mind, Logan released Scott’s hair, reaching around to grip at the base of Scott’s throat in a small squeeze. The touch caused Scott to cry out, to whimper and twist, practically begging for Logan’s touch when Logan leaned forward once again.

“Ask me nicely Slim,” Logan slurred tilting his head at the right angle so that they could look at one another in their reflections, leaving no mistake about what was happening between them, “Beg me to give it to you.”

“I…I…” Scott stammered struggling with himself before he finally relented. He began to lower his head, attempting to look away from his reflection, but Logan refused his request instead pushing his hand up over Scott’s throat just beneath his chin to coax Scott into watching the mirror again, refusing to give him an out.

“Say it,” Logan commanded when a low rumble built inside of him. He fought to refrain from giving in to instinct, to keep from revealing how he truly felt with Scott beside him, but when Scott’s body trembled, his mouth parting in a moment of frustration and longing, Logan knew he’d won the war making a small step towards achieving what he’d wanted from this new life.

“Please fuck me Logan,” Scott’s voice held defeat when he watched the words falling from his own lips, “Please Logan…I need it. I need you. I want you to fuck me…to make me…”

“What?” Logan questioned squeezing at Scott’s neck once again.

“Make me forget about what we put behind us this morning in favor of focusing on how good this feels,” Scott divulged guiltily, unable to look away when the weight of his desire came rushing out in his request. His body trembled, his pulse quickening as Logan held his throat, gripping ever so slightly when Scott gave himself to Logan, “Show me what it’s like to be yours in every way imaginable.”

“With pleasure,” Logan replied triumphantly knowing only too well that by the time he was finished with Summers, Scott would have no choice, but to give in to Logan’s seemingly wild requests about a life between them one way or another.


	13. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Logan reflect on their history with one another while Logan hopes for a better future between them.

**Reflection:** a thought about something, particular in the past, or what one sees when looking into a mirror.

  
“Slim, I have to ask, why did Wade give you pink, fuzzy handcuffs and why was I the one carrying them on me?” Logan pondered aloud when Scott lay against Logan’s chest, curled up on the bathroom floor long after they’d given in to temptation with one another. His fingers were planted firmly over the center of Logan’s chest with Logan’s arm curled around him. Together they stayed in that position, crunched into a corner of the otherwise unassuming room with Logan’s arm draped around Scott’s shoulders. Instinctively Logan pressed a kiss over the top of Scott’s head while his fingertips tapered over the damp edges of Scott’s dark hair. The movement was intimate, tender, but this time Scott wasn’t fighting it as Logan pressed further into the issue at hand, “Something tells me that story is too good for you not to share it with me.”

“You want to talk about that now?” Scott’s words came out with a burst of surprise despite his relaxed positioning over Logan, “After everything that’s happened today that is what you want to talk about?”

“Considering that we never got to finish the story before when you first mentioned it,” Logan couldn’t help, but tease his index finger over the curve of Scott’s spine to trace his damp skin, “yeah I have to admit that story sounded like something worth talking about.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” Scott confessed behind deep crimson colored cheeks, “You know how Wade is when he thinks he’s being funny.”

“Indulge me,” Logan squeezed Scott in closer once again, “Explain to me why Wade decided that was the perfect gift.”

“Because Wade’s a bit of an asshole,” Scott groaned outwardly. Without thinking he ran his fingertips over the center of Logan’s chest, tracing a relaxed line over the dark hair beneath his touch, “He likes to push his limits.”

“Don’t we all?” Logan wiggled a suggestive brow as his fingers stretched out over Scott’s firm, muscular bottom offering up a rough squeeze.

“Wade is his own special breed of asshole,” Scott reminded him with a twist over Logan. Instinctively Scott’s fingertips squeezed down over the center of Logan’s chest to his abdomen, lazily charting a slow, subtle path down over the dark strands of hair with the touch.

“Yeah, well that I know, but why that gift specifically?” Logan questioned curling his arm around Scott tighter as the moment between them felt lighter than things had been for the last few days. Without thinking about it, Scott seemed to curl in closer to him, keeping the connection between them when Logan gently reached up to sweep Scott’s damp hair away from his forehead, “Why don’t you just tell me what happened? I want to know.”

“You already do know,” Scott wrinkled his nose and swatted at the center of Logan’s chest, “Even if Euphoria is screwing with you, we both know the memory is buried deep down inside of you. It’s simply waiting for the most inappropriate moment to reveal itself and…”

“It’s not the Euphoria,” Logan replied somberly when the weight of his new reality came crashing down upon him, “Deep down we both know that.”

“Do we?” Scott questioned tipping his head up to look at Logan once again.

“We’d be lying to ourselves if we pretended otherwise,” Logan sighed thinking about the world he’d put behind him.

“Maybe it feels good to pretend for a little while,” Scott replied when the weight of Logan’s words seemed to sink in upon him.

“As much as I’m sure we’d enjoy that, there’s a time and place for fantasy,” Logan paused contemplating what this conversation could mean to his future, “but now isn’t the time for that. I think we must face the reality that there are things that I’m missing from my life. I should’ve said something sooner, but I just didn’t know how to tell you what I’d lost considering that…”

“What?” Scott questioned.

“There are a lot of things that I can’t remember,” Logan explained feeling guilt weigh in upon him as he held Scott over him, “because as much as I wanted to be there at the time, I just wasn’t the man that you think I am. I wasn’t the one that shared all of that with you because I’m not…I’m not him.”

“Logan,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown, “I know that time has changed us both, but…”

“This runs deeper than that,” Logan argued further wishing like hell that he could just bury the truth of his old life behind him forever in favor of pushing forward, “but I’m not that man you knew before. I’m different now.”

“Different how?”

“That part is complicated,” Logan swallowed down hard wondering how to approach the divide in the realities he’d been a part of. On the one hand, he’d put behind him a life of misery and loss in favor of seeking out this new world he’d created, but at the same time he’d also found that this Scott had lived his life with another man—another Logan that had a wealth of memories that Logan had wished like hell he could carry with him, “It’s just…as much as I want to, I don’t remember things like Wade giving you those handcuffs.”

“It’s kind of hard to forget,” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension despite his attempts at trying to play it cool. He kept his fingers over the center of Logan’s chest, offering up a small squeeze before a sigh spilled over his lips, “It was embarrassing sure, but…”

“I wasn’t there Scott,” Logan stated honestly, “It wasn’t me at the time so that memory is something of a mystery to me. It was from another life that…”

“You don’t remember?” Scott finished for him.

Logan nodded, “It sounds like one hell of a memory to experience, but I don’t have it. At this point in time I’m afraid that I never will.”

“So, you’re saying that…?” Scott raised his head up to issue Logan a long, scrutinizing once over.

“That part of me may forever be behind me from here on out,” Logan sighed heavily, “and without someone to fill in the blanks I fear that I might be a stranger to this world in more ways than I ever anticipated when I entered it.”

“Tell me you’re just fucking with me,” Scott tipped his head to give Logan a long, curious once over from behind his glasses.

“I’m not.”

“Then you’re…” Scott’s frown intensified as the weight of Logan’s words settled in over him. Without saying it, Logan could see the shift in Scott’s expression—the wheels were turning in his mind weighing out Logan’s words before he finally spoke up in a smooth and even voice, “You couldn’t have just forgotten everything like that again without some kind of provocation. If not for the Euphoria, then…”

“I swear to you it’s not the Euphoria,” Logan reiterated with a frown sensing something deeper was happening inside of his lover at Logan’s confession, “It’s more complicated than that considering that…”

“Is this about Boston?” Scott questioned when guilt flashed over his still flushed features. He twisted in Logan’s arms becoming increasingly unsettled when their words changed the tone of their time together, “Don’t get me wrong I know that there have been issues with your memory before that we’ve worked through, but if Boston played a hand in that…if it was somehow a trigger for…”

“This isn’t like before,” Logan assured him with a scowl.

“Then this is really happening again, isn’t it?” Scott questioned when he seemed to sink with concern. He grew uncomfortably silent, seemingly weighing out his thoughts before he spoke up again with an uncertain tone, “I’m losing you again, aren’t I?”

“No,” Logan squeezed his arm harder around Scott’s waist to assure Scott of his presence in Scott’s life, “you aren’t losing me.”

“Then what exactly are you saying?” Scott questioned drawing in a nervous breath.

“I’m telling you that as much as I wish I could recall certain things, there are memories that simply aren’t mine to recall,” Logan sighed feeling a pang of guilt carry over him in knowing what chaos still surrounded his arrival in this new world, “I’m not the man I was before…”

“I understand that, but…” Scott stopped himself seemingly caught up in a world of contemplations before he seemed to shake off Logan’s words, “Tell me that this isn’t as bad as it seems—that this is all some kind of defense mechanism that you put out there after what happened in Boston—that this is just payback for…”

“It’s not,” Logan admitted honestly when it was clear that their quiet aftermath was undoubtedly going to be shaken up in more ways than Logan cared to enter with Scott in his arms.

“If it was, I would understand why you felt you had to do it to keep me at arm’s length. I recognize it’s easier to pretend all those things didn’t happen with us. I don’t blame you at all if that’s what you’re doing as a coping mechanism considering that…,” Scott blurted out guiltily before scrutinizing Logan in the moment, “After what happened—after what I did…”

“I don’t remember it. My mind is sketchy Slim. We already established not so long ago that things are…missing…” Logan tensed up at the reality that surrounded him.

“How many things?” Scott couldn’t help, but question with a matching frown.

“Enough that I could use a little help right now in filling in the blanks. Instead of assigning blame, I need to focus on getting all of that back somehow,” Logan revealed with a small sigh, “Chuck told me in time it would happen, but right now…”

“You’ve lost more than I imagined,” Scott’s face flashed with sympathy, but almost as soon as it revealed itself, Scott seemed to shift gears returning to his sense of self-loathing and guilt over Logan’s change, “You don’t have to lie to me Logan. Did I do this? Did I push you to all of this?”

“No Slim,” Logan shook his head poignantly, “none of this is your fault.”

“Then why does it feel like it is?” Scott questioned biting back on the emotion that fought to reveal itself in his tone, “Why does it seem like everything after Boston just became one big nightmare considering that…?”

“Why are you so convinced that Boston is the reason for this? Why are you so willing to take the blame for something beyond our control?” Logan couldn’t help, but question, “Why do you keep going back to that point in time when we start talking about our past together?”

“If you’re asking me that, then I know you’re not yourself,” Scott attempted to twist out of Logan’s embrace when the weight of his thoughts caused him to shudder, “If you were thinking clearly about Boston, then this never would’ve happened. You wouldn’t want to look at me let alone touch me considering that…”

“Slim,” Logan kept his arm curled tightly around Scott, refusing to allow Scott the opportunity to move away, “I don’t give a damn about Boston. I don’t care about any of it. I just care about you.”

“You shouldn’t,” Scott shook his head against Logan’s chest, “If you were thinking clearly, then you wouldn’t want this. You’d be repulsed by the very idea of us…”

“Having fun together?” Logan questioned touching the side of Scott’s face, “How could I regret that?”

“If you remembered what happened in Boston, then you’d have your answer,” Scott admitted shamefully. He tipped his head down refusing to meet Logan’s eyes when the weight of Scott’s mysterious guilt lingered in the air between them. Down on the bathroom floor, it hung heavy in the air taking Scott from Logan’s arms to a much darker place that Logan feared would divide them again if they weren’t careful moving forward with one another, “If you only knew…”

“What I know is that right now you and I are on borrowed time together,” Logan reminded him somberly pressing a kiss over the top of Scott’s head in a desperate attempt to hold onto the moment they were sharing together, “We promised Clint and Maria that we would meet up with them for dinner before we took off to the warehouse and…”

“This doesn’t feel right,” Scott interrupted lowering his head over Logan’s chest once again.

“That’s because you’re stubborn and you’re fighting the inevitable between us Slim. What we have runs deeper than you want to allow it even if I’ve indulged your request to be impersonal to some degree,” Logan answered stubbornly cradling Scott against him. He knew full well that it was far more intimate than Scott had requested, but for the time being even in his guilt Scott hadn’t been fighting it, “For some reason you want to shut me out, but if you think for one second that I’m going to allow you to keep me at arm’s length like you’ve been trying to do…”

“I’m not talking about us—at least not right now,” Scott declared when Logan pulled Scott in harder against his chest, “I’m talking about the mission. I know that I haven’t said it, but all of this—it just doesn’t feel like this is what it should be. Something is really wrong in all of this Logan.”

“What do you mean?” Logan questioned when Scott let out a long sigh.

“It doesn’t all add up. There are so many unanswered questions and half truths that…” Scott trailed off with a heaviness in his tone.

“What?” Logan questioned worriedly, “I thought you and Hill were sorting it out on the ride up here.”

“We were, but then…” Scott seemed conflicted as Logan held him, “I don’t know if I trust my instincts on this particular mission.”

“They haven’t led you in the wrong direction thus far,” Logan replied when a flash of his other life suddenly manifested in the back of his mind. Blinking back the thoughts, Logan found himself remembering the final moments he had shared with the other Scott, who had been guided by his instincts to Alkali Lake and his untimely demise at Jean’s hand. With a small shudder, his arm curled tighter around Scott, holding on harder than he was certain he should be as he spoke up once again, “What are your instincts telling you?”

“That it feels like we’re walking into a trap and maybe we are,” Scott deduced when Logan’s fingers gently pressed over the side of Scott’s abdomen where he’d stitched himself up earlier in the day after they’d returned to the motel. While Logan hadn’t noticed it at the time they were on the street, Scott’s blood on his vest had been the result of glass he’d gotten lodged in his abdomen. It hadn’t been too deep, but it was enough for Scott to quietly walk away and stitch himself up before taking the shower. It wasn’t until after they’d had sex on the countertop that Logan had finally noticed Scott’s patch up job, but instead of pointing it out, he’d just made a mental note to be extra cautious in holding Scott where he’d been hurt.

“Then why are we doing this?” Logan couldn’t help but ask thinking about what they stood to lose in pursuing Markus.

“Because if we don’t, then the truth will be lost forever,” Scott revealed with a tiny shudder. He reached down to guide Logan’s hand up higher away from his wound before letting out a long, uneasy breath. Gently he squeezed at the top of Logan’s palm seemingly weighing out his actions before he pushed his fingers forward interlacing them with Logan’s in an uncharacteristic movement given their circumstances, “If we turn our backs on what is there, then everything else will lose its meaning and any hope for the future will be stolen with it. If we don’t act now, we could stand more to lose in the long run.”

“The truth doesn’t always set you free Slim,” Logan pointed out with a small frown when he contemplated his earlier need to confess his truth to Scott. Somehow in the moment it felt right in telling Scott the truth about where he’d come from, but now that he’d been stalled in his confession, Logan began to question if this was the right time and place for him to come clean with his lover. With Scott’s scent all over Logan in the aftermath of their passion and Scott’s skin pressed to his when Logan held him in a tight embrace, Logan found himself contemplating the consequences to follow if he continued to share his truth with Scott, “Sometimes it threatens to tear your world apart in ways you never anticipated.”

“Maybe, but when something is so wrong that it has destroyed other people’s lives…” Scott’s words trailed off bringing Scott to an unsettling silence.

“What?” Logan questioned gently rubbing Scott’s back once again.

“Nothing,” Scott replied biting down on his bottom lip.

“Liar,” Logan challenged carefully nudging him in the ribs, “Where did you go right now? What were you thinking about?”

“Jean,” Scott divulged quietly. He lowered his head and looked down to the ring on his finger seemingly measuring its impact on his future decisions, “and what the truth means for all of us.”

“Now’s not the time for that,” Logan sighed closing his eyes and taking in the scent of his lover’s confusion, “You and Jeanie…you guys had a good thing going for so long…”

“We were the epitome of high school sweethearts. Everything about us was perfect until…” Scott stopped himself when a sigh spilled over his lips, “We just changed.”

“Life often does that to people,” Logan confessed thinking about his own struggles to find his position in this new world he’d been placed into after changing the world around him.

“I know,” Scott agreed somberly, “Time does things to a person that shapes the way that they are. Even if you plan on one thing somehow experience jumbles it all up and…”

“Life can be a bitch like that,” Logan agreed closing his eyes and thinking about the plans he’d once carried with him with the other version of Scott before his world fell apart.

“I’m not that same awkward boy anymore that is foolishly in love with the first girl that captured his attention,” Scott spoke up stiffly.

“Slim…”

“What she and I had was special—perfect in its own way for the time we shared it, but it doesn’t exist anymore like it once did. I know that now,” Scott broke through Logan’s thoughts bringing him back to the moment with his lover in his arms. Instinctively he squeezed Scott in against his chest attempting to savor the warmth of their contact when Scott trembled beside him. His voice was distanced when he spoke up again, but there was no mistaking the realization that weighed upon Scott in his confession, “I’m not that same uptight, play by the rules kind of guy that everyone talked about behind his back. I’m…”

“They still talk about you,” Logan teased with a hint of amusement. He reached out to tousle Scott’s damp, dark hair before smiling sardonically, “even if they got better at hiding it. We live with a bunch of gossips.”

“Maybe, but the things that they are saying now about the changes in me…” Scott’s words trailed off.

“Let’s face it Slim, you’re still uptight and you try to play by the rules when opportunity permits,” Logan ribbed him just a bit when Scott involuntarily snuggled into his chest. 

“But what if the rules no longer apply? What if following the rules will only bring about more pain and suffering?” Scott’s words tapered off leaving him to the somber reality that surrounded them.

“Are we talking about you and Jeanie or are we talking about us?” Logan couldn’t help, but question when an unsettling feeling built in the center of his abdomen causing his worst fears to rise to the surface.

“What if we are only meant for disaster? What if all of this is just us living this lie that we’ve surrounded ourselves with for so long that we aren’t even aware of what it truly means for us to be like…” Scott paused finding himself at a loss, “this”

“Don’t think about it,” Logan half pleaded reaching out to brush the pad of his thumb over Scott’s bottom lip, “Tell me about the cuffs instead.”

“I don’t know,” Scott shrugged weighing out his thoughts and instead contemplating an answer to Logan’s question.

“Tell me,” Logan insisted stroking the side of Scott’s face with his index finger, “Answer my question and focus on that.”

“Wade was just being Wade. When we found them in your suitcase, we kind of…” Scott seemed to hesitate with recall, “Well, it didn’t pertain to the mission at that point when we unpacked. I didn’t really give it a second thought, but you forgot to put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. Then that woman from housekeeping came in and damn near passed out seeing them on the…never mind.”

“No, what?” Logan pushed the issue further with a nudge to Scott’s bare hip, “What did she see when she came into the room?”

“That it was a disaster in the making. I thought for sure they were going to have us kicked out of the building,” Scott laughed casually finding a moment of lightness in the midst of the concerns weighing upon him, “I don’t know what you were thinking in taking anything from Wade without question considering that…”

“Why did he feel that I needed to be the one to give them to you?” Logan questioned sensing the answer was a bit more personal than the gift itself when Scott’s face grew flushed at the memory.

“There was a card with them,” Scott seemed to shiver with recall. His fingers gripped at Logan’s chest, thoughtlessly curling in over the broad muscular expanse.

“What did it say?” Logan prompted him further.

“That I could think of them as a way to let go of all accountability in what was happening with us on our mission,” Scott divulged when his face grew a deep shade of crimson, “He said it was a way of letting go of my control without being held responsible for my actions.”

“Then you’re saying that Wade…?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“…thought that the cuffs would be all the permission I needed to give in to temptation,” Scott swallowed down hard at the memory that he alone carried with him, “He knew that I wouldn’t dream of admitting it myself, but with the two of us working together like we had—knowing what we’d been dealing with all that time with the tension between us and…”

“So, he was telling us instead of fighting that we should just…?” Logan couldn’t help, but motion to where they were on the bathroom floor naked with one another.

“Subtlety has never been Wade’s strong suit, but he wasn’t entirely off the mark in his observations given that we…” Scott gulped down turning his head away from Logan, “I don’t know if it was you, or it was me, but the way we carried ourselves was more than obvious with my wedding approaching and…”

“So, you’re saying that we were flirting with this even back then?” Logan couldn’t help, but question when he contemplated his counterpart’s place in Scott’s life.

“I never questioned my future with Jean until you walked into my life,” Scott divulged in a raw honesty that caused Logan’s heart to ache in knowing how hard the truth was for Scott, “I’d wanted to marry her more than anything, but then without realizing it the closer my wedding got, the more things changed. Having you around did something to me that…”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Scott dismissed the thought. He cleared his throat and attempted to reposition himself over Logan, “Wade’s always been a nosy asshole and I’m sure you both working together on a mission before that didn’t help. When you get drinking you start offering up word vomit. I think he took advantage of that with the cuffs when you undoubtedly said something lewd and obscene. Clearly your talk inspired his actions and…”

“Wade and I are…” Logan couldn’t help, but cringe when the thought of Wade carried over him, “close?”

“I wouldn’t say close, but he’s more like that gum you have stuck to your shoe that you can’t just get off no matter how hard you try to shake him,” Scott laughed lightly recalling the events of a time that Logan hadn’t been with him, “I don’t know what it is about him, but he just loves getting under your skin.”

“That’s because he’s a pain in the ass,” Logan huffed thinking about his interactions with Wade in his own time.

“Yeah,” Scott sighed still leaning in against Logan, “he is, but we’ve gotten used to it through the years.”

“We must have if he’s giving gifts like that,” Logan’s words trailed off giving way to a comfortable silence between them. After a few minutes had passed, Logan couldn’t help, but question further, “Do you still have them?”

“The handcuffs?” Scott questioned tipping his head up to look over at Logan, “Of course not. They were ridiculous. They were naughty and dirty in ways that were more than embarrassing and…”

“Oh,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown wondering what more there was to the story Scott had mentioned to him.

“You have them,” Scott explained nestling in against Logan once again and catching him off guard, “I let you keep them since they meant more to you at the time.”

“How so? Are you saying that we ended up using them together like Wade intended? That somehow we…?” Logan inquired preparing to question Scott further on the issue when the sound of Scott’s cell phone buzzing on the countertop seemed to break through the moment. Looking up, Logan watched the phone vibrate in a dance on top of the counter, giving way to the movement the phone created with the caller on the other end of the line.

“I should answer that,” Scott sighed detangling himself from Logan’s arms.

“Don’t,” Logan attempted to pull Scott back into him, “no good will come out of it.”

“Probably not, but if it’s Maria,” Scott hesitated for a brief, fleeting moment, “I told her that we could regroup and talk out our plan before we put it into action. We don’t want any mistakes like what we experienced before.”

“I know, but that still doesn’t mean that I want this,” Logan’s words trailed off when an air of sadness carried over him, “to end.”

“It won’t,” Scott offered up with a little less certainty in his tone, “It just needs to be…”

“What?” Logan asked when the buzzing on the phone continued.

“Put on pause,” Scott sighed moving out of Logan’s arms, “at least for now. At least until we get all of this figured out.”

“Right,” Logan grumbled watching as Scott turned his back to him. Logan remained on the floor looking up at Scott’s bottom and seeing the faint red marks still revealed to him from the slaps he’d given Scott to spice things up between them. At the time they’d felt well placed, but now that Scott’s reddened flesh served as a reminder of their rough play, Logan found himself wondering if he’d pushed himself too far in giving Scott what he’d asked for. As his gaze traveled upward, he noticed the hickey on the back of Scott’s neck serving as a reminder of the ways that Logan had marked him with his kisses and bites, leaving no mistake about Logan’s claim upon Scott.

“Yes,” Scott spoke into the phone in his usual stoic tone revealing nothing about the position he and Logan were still in with one another in their hotel room, “yes of course. Absolutely. We’ll be ready in about fifteen minutes. Sure…we’ll be there. Okay…yes absolutely. Sure.”

Logan watched as Scott hung up the phone. He set it down on the countertop placing it beside the discarded condom package before Scott let out a long sigh. He braced his hands out on the counter, much like he’d done when Logan was inside of him, forcing Scott to face his most primitive self in their exchange, but instead of being full of passion, Scott’s scent was laced with apprehension and worry when it was clear their time away from the world was no longer theirs for the taking.

“Maria?” Logan questioned already knowing the answer.

“She wants to go over the plan for tonight,” Scott nodded, “She and Clint want to eat food from a local barbecue place for dinner.”

“Barbecue,” Logan repeated gruffly in remembering the blazes they’d been fighting all morning, “It seems wildly inappropriate after the day we had.”

“It’s carryout,” Scott explained casually as if that explanation was enough to erase the aftermath of the disaster they’d happened upon, “I said we would join them in her room to talk strategy after we picked up some drinks from the vending machine.”

“Drinks?” Logan repeated arching a curious brow.

“That’s right,” Scott nodded drawing in a breath, “Clint is picking food up as we speak. Maria decided to order for all of us to refrain from wasting time and…”

“How lovely,” Logan groaned outwardly when it was clear that any further discussion about his current situation with Scott was going to be sidelined by the mission they were on. Frowning, Logan realized if the new mission was anything like the morning, then they’d all be having one hell of a time trying to get to the bottom of their investigation at the warehouse, “We have a dinner date with our new best friends.”

“It won’t be that bad,” Scott shrugged turning his back to Logan. He carefully removed his glasses setting them next to his phone when he reached out to twist the dials on the sink. A few seconds later a steady stream of water spilled from the faucet as Scott leaned forward to splash his face.

“That’s easy for you to say,” Logan mouthed watching Scott push his damp fingers up over his forehead into his dark hair, in an attempt to smooth out the after effects of their time together, “You and Hill seem to be best pals lately.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Scott questioned. He reached for his glasses repositioning them in his palm before standing upright in front of the counter.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed her sudden attachment to you on this mission,” Logan noted unable to repress the teasing in his tone, “There’s a reason why she was insistent upon having you join us today.”

“Yeah, it was probably to annoy you,” Scott quipped positioning his glasses over the bridge of his nose. Lowering his hands down to his side again, it was clear he was scrutinizing Logan through the mirror.

“Nah, I think she’s a bit sweet on you,” Logan made no move to get up off the floor. He could see the agitation in the puff of Scott’s cheeks, but instead of moving to get dressed, Logan spread his thighs out further revealing himself more completely to a still naked Scott. The move hadn’t gone unnoticed, Logan realized, as Scott involuntarily licked his bottom lip before speaking up again with agitation in his tone.

“It’s not like that,” Scott frowned attempting to stay focused on the conversation at hand when Logan’s hand pressed over his inner thigh, drawing attention to his generous manhood. Without hesitation he eased his fingers over himself in a blatant attempt to draw Scott from their obligation to focusing on him for a few seconds longer.

“So, you weren’t making out with her back at the club that first night?” Logan arched a curious brow watching as the color rose in Scott’s features. With a curl of his fingers and a twist of his wrist, Logan’s thick fingers were pushing up over his own body in a slow slide, attempting to entice Scott with his naughty behavior.

“We were posing as partners for Markus,” Scott defended his actions once again. Forcing himself to turn away from Logan, he took his glasses off once more before turning on the sink. He repeated the same behavior splashing himself in the face to undoubtedly quell the fire Logan was attempting to stir inside of him with his actions, “When we convinced him we were lovers it gave us the opportunity to give each other messages about…”

“I’m teasing you Slim,” Logan laughed lightly unable to ignore how amusing Scott’s response was to the situation, “I know how you are when you’re on the job. You put everything into it and…”

“It was a spur of the moment response,” Scott paused turning around and leaning back against the bathroom counter to look down at Logan again, “Though how did you know about that?”

“Clint told me about it on the ride over,” Logan shrugged his shoulders as he continued to stroke himself, hoping like hell that his actions didn’t go unnoticed by Scott. Judging by the color that rose over Scott’s face, it was clear they hadn’t when Scott pushed his palms down flat on the countertop behind him all the while keeping his eyes on Logan’s movements, “He explained that she was rather upset about the fallout from the other night and…”

“She told him about us kissing at the club?” Scott questioned licking his lips again when Logan’s fist eased up and over his now hardening flesh in blatant suggestive movements.

“Apparently,” Logan sighed tipping his head back against the bathroom wall knowing full well that Scott’s attention was undoubtedly divided by his sense of duty and Logan’s obvious distraction.

“That seems to be a bit extraneous given that it really didn’t pertain to the mission beyond getting through our meeting with Markus,” Scott seemed to ponder the weight of Logan’s words when he moved away from the countertop.

Without a word, Scott dropped down to his hands and knees crawling across the floor like a cat stalking his prey in slow, methodical movements. Smirking, Logan spread his legs wider, giving Scott the opportunity to move between them. He did so without instruction placing his palms on Logan’s thighs, squeezing and massaging them before lowering himself to press a kiss over Logan’s abdomen. The damp sensation caused Logan’s lips to part and a moan to rise from within as Scott dutifully trailed damp, teasing kisses and nips over Logan’s skin, dipping down below Logan’s naval until Logan pushed up from beneath him. Without having to be asked Scott’s palm surrounded the base of Logan’s arousal, carefully removing Logan’s fingers before Scott’s lips collided with Logan’s wide tip. Closing his eyes Logan felt Scott’s warm breath cascade over his skin, causing tiny shivers to roll over his body, licking at his senses when Scott’s damp tongue teased over his hardened flesh.

“Mmm…” Logan practically purred snaking his fingers into the back of Scott’s hair, gently massaging his scalp when Scott’s lips surrounded him fully. With the damp, slow slide of Scott’s mouth over his body, Logan couldn’t help, but twist his head, looking down into his lap to discover Scott doting on him, carefully taking his time to focus on each one of Logan’s triggers with his tongue and a light graze of his teeth over Logan’s flesh just enough to cause goosebumps to form over Logan’s thighs. Instinctively Logan’s fingers twisted tighter through Scott’s damp, dark hair encouraging his actions when the sound of Scott’s moans vibrated against Logan’s body making him hotter than hell in being doted on by Scott. Sliding his free hand over Scott’s spine, Logan couldn’t help, but reach out to squeeze at Scott’s bottom, still raised up on the air with him on his knees focusing entirely on Logan’s desire.

With a curve of his palm, Logan pulled Scott forward by his bottom, guiding him to take Logan deeper inside of him. Without any further suggestion, Scott went to work licking and teasing, suctioning his mouth over Logan’s body and driving him wild in ways that Logan had almost forgotten about in this world. In Logan’s former world Scott had been insatiable, overwhelmed with an appetite for sex in the same ways that Logan had, unable to simply get enough of it when he and Logan had started having it. At first, they’d attempted to play it cool, but soon Logan had learned that Scott had needed that kind of connection almost as much as Logan had. In giving in to raw animal instinct they’d found their way to something deeper in Logan’s first life, but this time Logan found that Scott’s lack of intimacy through the process proved to be a new challenge Logan hadn’t anticipated experiencing. Then again, a few hours ago, he hadn’t anticipated Scott down on his knees and elbows taking Logan’s cock into his mouth with expert ease. With each movement, Logan found himself pushing upward, coaxing Scott to continue, to take him to the edge of desire and past it until midway through Scott’s actions, his lips parted further allowing Logan to slip out from between his lips when Scott raised his head up to look at Logan again.

“Logan,” Scott spoke his name in a sensual throaty whisper when another sudden thought carried over him, “You don’t think that Maria and Clint are…”

“Who are we to second guess their briefing?” Logan shrugged his shoulders. Bringing his hand over the side of Scott’s face, he gently stroked Scott’s hollowed out cheekbone before encouraging Scott to resume in his actions. Dutifully Scott resumed in his movements, driving Logan to distraction again with his lips and tongue. Gently tugging on Scott’s hair, Logan moaned closing his eyes and taking in the sound of Scott’s damp lips and tongue working to drive Logan wild before the weight of the world was once again on the front burner taking them from one another to the impossible mission that both Logan and Scott had foolishly placed themselves into.

“Mmmm….” the sound rose up from between Logan’s thighs causing him to reopen his eyes and focus on Scott’s mouth, on his fingers and his tongue taking in every one of Logan’s responses until finally Logan reached out to carefully cup Scott’s face in his hands. The movement seemed to surprise Scott, causing him to pull back just enough to hover over Logan’s damp tip as it was clear Scott was finally looking up at Logan and seeing something that hadn’t been there earlier in the day.

“God you’re sexy when you do that,” Logan confessed feeling a flutter inside of him as Scott’s lips parted wider than before.

“Suck you off?” Scott questioned when a faint crimson color carried over his face creating a warmth that hadn’t been there seconds earlier.

“That’s nice, but no that part where you moan like you do…like you’re enjoying it as much as I am,” Logan confessed thinking about the liberties his other Scott had taken in pleasing him during their brief time with one another. In this world Logan was a blank slate devoid of the obviously turmoiled history with this Scott and the other man who’d foolishly led Scott to believe that they weren’t meant to be. Now as he held Scott’s face in his hands wishing like hell that he could simply pull Scott into his lap and kiss him endlessly, Logan found himself falling harder hoping like hell one day he would be able to break down the barriers between them, “Come here.”

“Logan, I’m not finished. We only have about eleven minutes now before we have to meet them and…” Scott placed his hands firmly on Logan’s thighs hoping to keep Logan focused long enough for Scott to get him off in their brief interlude with one another.

“Ride my cock,” Logan suggested with a labored breath, “Get me off that way.”

“But with the condom. We just used the last one that I picked up and…” Scott motioned to the discarded wrapper on the countertop.

“Normally I’d take my chances, but until we’re sure that I can’t hurt you,” Logan sighed stroking the side of Scott’s face again, “Sit on my lap and let’s get each other off.”

“Logan, I really don’t mind if…” Scott blushed deeper than before.

“I can see you’re already hard Slim,” Logan nodded towards Scott’s blatant arousal, “I know how much you love sucking me off. I know easy it is for you to come undone just by doing it, but I’d rather be the one making it happen for you with your hands on me.”

“Logan, I…” Scott opened his mouth preparing to say something to dissuade Logan’s suggestion, but instead he pushed up off the floor carefully repositioning himself until he was seated on Logan’s lap with his fingers wrapped firmly around Logan’s flesh. Logan reciprocated the gesture, circling his thumb over the damp head of Scott’s arousal, watching as Scott’s abdomen sank in and his body shuddered caught up in desire at Logan’s touch.

“God,” Scott bit back on the moan that surrounded him when Logan worked to remember each one of Scott’s secret turn ons. With a firm slide over Scott’s length with his right hand, Logan used his left to grip at Scott’s bottom, pulling him in closer until their bodies met, brushing up against one another with a bristling jolt of electricity between them. It caused Scott to bite down on his lip again, struggling to refrain from revealing how eager he was for their connection when Logan reached out to take Scott’s hand in his. Saying nothing Logan curled his palm around Scott’s guiding Scott to interlace their fingers when their hands bumped and collided against one another, working in tandem to get one another off.

“That’s it,” Logan spoke up encouragingly keeping their palms together in fluid movements up and down over their lengths, strong and solid, determined and urgent when Logan’s fingers of his free hand pushed down between the cleft of Scott’s bottom seeking out the one place he knew full well would be the key to taking Scott over the edge. With a minor adjustment, Logan curved his fingers inward, pushing into Scott’s warmth and causing him to cry out, leaning forward against Logan’s chest as their desire grew and expanded.

“Logan,” Scott ground over his thighs, pushing back against Logan’s touch and never missing a beat when their hands worked together frantically to take them both over the edge. At first Logan fought to contain himself—to hold onto control a few seconds more, but as Scott began to shudder and shake over him, losing himself to the hot flame that licked over his body, driving him on further than he’d undoubtedly anticipated when he’d encouraged Logan’s behavior by crawling on the floor, Logan realized it was no use in holding back. Now losing himself in hot, jutting bursts over Logan’s chest and abdomen, Scott fell forward biting at Logan’s shoulder and causing Logan to go over the edge himself all the while working his fingers over Scott’s hotspot until they were both left damp and trembling on the bathroom floor of the hotel room caught up in one another.

“That was…” Logan couldn’t help but laugh as the tension he’d been carrying had been released with the ease of Scott’s touch upon him.

“Yeah,” Scott nuzzled his nose in against Logan’s neck, pressing a damp kiss over Logan’s perspiration-soaked skin, “it was.”

“You know we’re going to be late getting up to Maria’s room,” Logan sighed bringing his arms up around Scott’s waist to hug Scott’s slender body over him, “As much as I know you pride yourself on punctuality, this time you’re going to have to deal with being human.”

“Maria won’t be happy,” Scott decided laying his head on Logan’s shoulder as he remained on Logan’s lap wrapped around him in an embrace.

“She’ll get over it,” Logan grumbled squeezing his arms around Scott tighter than before, “She’s had you all morning, but I’ve only had you…”

“Long enough to undoubtedly put us in a world of trouble if anyone realized just what we’ve been doing in our down time,” Scott teased with a lightness in his tone, undoubtedly brought on by his orgasm, but regardless of the reason Logan decided he would take it as he gently rubbed his hand over Scott’s spine savoring the warmth of Scott against him.

“I’m sure we aren’t fooling anyone,” Logan paused considering Scott’s words for a moment, “Unless you were hoping that we were…”

“To be honest,” Scott tensed up over Logan. He seemed to be caught up in a moment of internal conflict, but before giving in to it, he decided to push it aside long enough to nuzzle the side of Logan’s neck again, “It isn’t anyone else’s business what we’re doing at this point.”

“I won’t argue that, but still…” Logan paused weighing out the weight of their actions with one another, “what are we doing?”

“Preparing to find a solution to our problems ahead of us,” Scott answered as his voice finally shifted returning to that distanced, neutral tone that Logan found himself recently hating more than he cared to admit. Instead of the lightness that was there seconds earlier, the same wall that Scott often hid behind in order to get by was returning between them pushing Scott further from Logan’s arms and into that darkness that he refused to let go of in their time together, “Tonight we’re going to have to be careful in our endeavors if we plan on infiltrating the warehouse and getting out undetected.”

“That’s not what I was referring to,” Logan frowned feeling Scott pull away from Logan’s chest. With a sigh, Logan reached for Scott’s wrist refusing to allow him the opportunity to completely withdraw from their connection.

“I know that,” Scott relented with a sigh of his own, “but Maria is expecting us to join them with our head in the mission…not on…this.”

“When we’re together my head is always on…this,” Logan teased catching the hint of crimson that filled Scott’s cheeks at his declaration. However, as Scott cleared his throat and pulled further away, Logan realized that their time together was truly over. He frowned as Scott pushed up off Logan’s thighs instead moving over to the shower to reach inside and turn the spray on once again.

“It’s probably better if we don’t arrive together when we go up there,” Scott seemed to consider his words before turning to Logan again, “Just so that way we can…”

“Pretend that we aren’t fucking?” Logan challenged with a frown, “Act like we aren’t pawing at one another each opportunity that we have here and there?”

“No, that’s not what I…” Scott hesitated. It was clear that tension ran through his body, causing him to shift on his feet on the cool flooring beneath his toes, “I’m just saying that we should…”

“…keep up appearances?” Logan grumbled feeling the weight of Scott’s request upon him, “Act like every time I see you it doesn’t make my dick hard and take my mind places so far from the mission that I kept taking part in the trials to keep feeling the way I do when I’m around you?”

“Is that really the only reason that you kept going back?” Scott questioned softening his tone, “With your obligation to your friend…”

“Haven’t you realized by now that I would give up almost anything to have you in my arms Slim?” Logan challenged grudgingly pulling himself up from the bathroom floor. With a bold, determined step, he forced himself to face Scott down when the hunger that guided his actions kept him focused on the man before him, “Haven’t you realized by now that I’m crazy about you Slim? How long do we have to keep pretending that you aren’t crazy about me as well?”

“Now isn’t the time for this,” Scott swallowed down hard before looking away, “We both need to get cleaned up and then…”

“Have dinner with our new best friends behaving like neither one us means anything to the other. I get it,” Logan scoffed unable to contain the distain he’d felt in Scott’s abrupt dismissal, “I can see that this is easy for you to shut yourself off, but for me…it…it means something Slim.”

“I’m not saying that it can’t mean something Logan, but…” Scott cleared his throat and turned his back to Logan, “We can’t do this now. Being distracted from the mission could cause this to go sour and…”

“You constantly shutting me out isn’t going to leave us in any better position,” Logan reached out to seize Scott’s wrist, “Freezing me out to keep beating yourself up over something that clearly no longer matters between us is…”

“It matters to me,” Scott stiffened beneath his touch, “and if you were truly yourself, then it would matter to you.”

“You matter to me or doesn’t that register for you?” Logan spoke up in an impassioned tone. He held onto Scott’s wrist feeling Scott’s pulse racing beneath the pad of his thumb, “Don’t you see how much I care about you? How I would give anything to…?”

“Stop,” Scott pleaded desperately, “Logan, if we do this now, then this mission will undoubtedly fail and…”

“We can’t keep ignoring what’s happening here Slim. I know that you said you didn’t want to feel something only to have it ripped away, but what do you think you’re doing each time you let me in and then shut me out immediately after?” Logan questioned preparing to say something more when he finally released Scott’s wrist. With a shake of his head he took a step back giving Scott space in the room when his heart sank at the realization that in his world he and Scott were still so far apart from one another lost in a time and place that neither one truly understood in their new circumstances.

“I don’t mean to hurt you Logan,” Scott’s voice was laced with regret, but his posture was rigid—tense in ways that Logan realized weren’t going to help the mission if he kept pushing Scott to face what he felt.

“Yeah, well…” Logan cleared his throat and turned towards the sink again, “I guess it doesn’t matter. Like you said it’s all about the mission.”

“Logan,” Scott spoke his name in a pained breath, but before he could give himself any further to the conversation he hid behind the invisible wall between them once again, “I should probably call Maria and let her know that we’ll be running behind.”

“I can do it,” Logan answered keeping his back to Scott as he fought with the thoughts consuming his mind, “Although I’m dreading the idea of having to share a meal with them.”

“Hey, you and Clint have gotten along for years,” Scott reminded him with a shake of his head when Logan watched him in the mirror, wondering if they would ever reach a place with one another when the weight of the world wasn’t hanging over their heads keeping them distanced from one another. With a glance over at Scott again, Logan watched as Scott offered a bit of an olive branch when a teasing smirk curled over his tense lips, “You are an Avenger after all.”

“Yeah, so I’ve been hearing,” Logan laughed lightly at the thought of his position in this new world wearing another man’s shoes, “Who would have thought that I’d turn to the dark side?”

“You never referred to it as that before,” Scott raised his head up to look at Logan through the mirror’s reflection in a much different way than he had when Logan had been standing behind him, pushing his way into Scott’s body again and again in the throes of passion, “I thought that was part of your stress relief in getting a break from the rest of us.”

“After days like today, why would I want a break from the rest of you?” Logan questioned suggestively allowing his gaze to linger over Scott’s bare form, “I can’t imagine ever wanting to get away from you.”

“Yeah, well that’s how I know we’ve got a problem going on here,” Scott sighed when Logan turned around to face him again. With a heaviness in his step, Scott crossed the room to stand beside the sink next to Logan. With a sigh, Scott sank back onto the counter, cringing slightly when it was clear that his bottom was sore from their earlier exchange. Still he handled it gracefully when he repositioned himself against the counter, “You kind of hate me most of the time Logan.”

“I don’t hate you now,” Logan reminded him with a shrug, “Clearly that must speak for itself considering that…”

“You will when your head isn’t so clouded by what’s been happening,” Scott offered up somberly when Logan stepped away from the counter, “I’m no good for you Logan.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one to judge something like that?” Logan arched a curious brow when it was clear that Scott was attempting to shut him out all over again before they began their mission with Clint and Maria.

“You told me yourself that I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to you,” Scott confessed with a pained expression on his face, “You said if you never saw me again in this lifetime that it would be too soon after the thing that I’ve…”

“Scott,” Logan managed watching the turmoil that overtook Scott in his confession. Taking a bold step forward, he pinned Scott up against the countertop again all the while focusing on Scott’s plump pouting lips, “look. I don’t know what I said before, but I certainly didn’t mean it. If I had any idea how foolish that sounded…”

“You meant every word of it,” Scott raised his chin up to watch Logan closely, “When you said it, I deserved every second of it as well for what I…”

“Shh…” Logan reached out to press his index finger over the center of Scott’s lips, “I don’t want to hear it. Whatever you think you did wrong, you didn’t.”

“Logan I…” Scott’s words were muffled with Logan’s finger over his lips.

“I don’t give a damn about hating you, nor do I care about whatever happened between us in Boston,” Logan promised taking in the chiseled lines of Scott’s cheekbones before him, “None of that matters anymore.”

“You say that now, but…” Scott’s words vibrated against Logan’s touch.

“Right now, all that matters is getting through tonight unscathed,” Logan assured him with a tender brush of his fingers against the side of Scott’s face, “Everything else is irrelevant to the here and now.”

“I wish it were that easy, but we both know that…” Scott attempted to argue again only to have Logan push his finger against Scott’s lips again.

“Nothing else matters Slim,” Logan leaned forward pressing a small kiss over Scott’s forehead, “Just this. Just now.”

“Logan…” Scott’s thoughts were lost as he simply nodded. He swallowed down a breath clearly caught up in something that Logan knew they weren’t going to have time to get down to the bottom of anytime soon, “We need to get dressed. I told Maria we’d be ready in fifteen minutes and since neither one of us called to tell her any differently at this point...”

“We will be there,” Logan promised unable to resist the urge to squeeze Scott in his arms once again, “and hey for what it’s worth, I’m ready to do this. No matter how bad we fucked up the first time around, this time I don’t want there to be any mistakes between us.”

“Logan, you know that…” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension.

“No mistakes,” Logan insisted again with another light kiss over Scott’s forehead, “After this is over, we’ll talk—about everything. We’ll deal with the past no matter how hard that might be and find a way to move forward…together.”

“Together,” Scott repeated watching Logan again as it seemed something was brewing behind his expression.

“Hey,” Logan cupped Scott’s face in his hands, “We’ll get through this.”

“Right,” Scott nodded turning away just as Logan attempted to lean in to kiss him. When it seemed that Scott wasn’t welcoming Logan’s advances, Logan pulled back and sighed.

“I guess I’ll work on getting dressed and calling Maria like we talked about,” Logan decided taking a step back and giving Scott space in their exchange.

“That’s a good idea. I’ll do the same…with getting dressed I mean,” Scott readily agreed moving out of the bathroom and leaving Logan with one last, lingering thought to their time together.

“Right,” Logan replied with a small nod of his own when it became clear just how much he and Scott still had to work through. Whatever was next, Logan vowed to find a way to make things work one way or the other no matter how much time and effort it may take. This time was for keeps.


	14. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Clint prepare to push forward on their mission only to be hit with a temporary setback. Logan experiences his first moments of recall with disastrous consequences after he and Maria hash things out between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to give everyone a warning this chapter includes a past reference to violence, blood and torture that characters endured. I just wanted to give everyone a head's up so there weren't any unexpected triggers.

**Haunted:** _having or showing signs of mental anguish or torment.  
  
_

“So, let me get this straight,” Logan frowned from his position up on top of the building adjacent to the warehouse compound. With binoculars in hand, he couldn’t help, but scowl watching as the cleaning service van that Scott and Clint were in with one another was making its way up to the gate leaving Logan even further out of the loop. Once Maria had launched her plan to get Scott and Clint inside of the warehouse to discreetly get their job done, it had left Logan and Maria waiting outside doing ‘damage control’ which Logan was less than thrilled about, “We’re just supposed to be sitting here doing nothing while they are at risk in this?”

“Clint knows what he’s doing,” Maria remarked behind gritted teeth. She held her scope up to her eyes staying focused on the job at hand while Logan grudgingly focused on his binoculars again wondering what Scott was doing.

With a scowl Logan sat on top of the dirty old building with only a tattered flannel blanket beneath him. Shaking his head, he tried to ignore the sound of the buzzing power wires in the distance while Maria was crouched at his side holding onto the sniper rifle that she’d brought up with them a short while earlier. He looked to the gun at his side that she’d offered him knowing full well he had no use for it when he couldn’t help, but glare over at her once again.

“Clint should be here doing this with you not me,” Logan grumbled unable to contain the distain that carried over him, “We both know this is his area of expertise. He’s a sharpshooter with the best aim of anyone I’ve ever known and…”

“Agent Barton is the only one of us who isn’t recognizable to Markus at this point or have you forgotten about your willing participation in the trials?” Maria quipped under her breath, refusing to turn her focus away from her scope. She followed the van’s movement, keeping her eyes on their colleagues when Logan found himself frustrated and surrounded by a plethora of bird shit on the roof around him. The scent was intermingled with stale cigarette butts and what he suspected was an insurmountable level of piss after he’d discovered that the building had been abandoned a long time ago, left to rot and wither away until Maria’s brilliant plan had landed them on top of it waiting around like sitting ducks holding out for word from Scott and Clint, “You were the one who decided to put yourself front and center in this mess and…”

“I did what was asked of me,” Logan quipped with a sharp, agitated tone when a pigeon flew overhead leaving him to wonder about whether the bird would leave a deposit on the roof beside him.

“Does that include breaking out of your observation room and attacking the security officers at Markus’s club a well?” Maria muttered under her breath unable to contain her own agitation.

“I did what I had to do at the moment,” Logan wrinkled his nose preparing to argue with her further, but rethinking it, “Plus, I don’t answer to you.”

“No, I suppose you don’t, but here we are, now aren’t we? And who is in charge exactly?” Maria scoffed reminding him all over again about Scott’s warning for Logan to behave. While it seemed like an ill placed remark at the time, it appeared as though Scott was onto something as Logan found his frustrations mounting in this impromptu mission. It wasn’t that he disliked Maria, but rather he hadn’t really anticipated spending his afternoon on top of the dilapidated building worried about what the future held in store for Scott.

With a loud plopping sound overhead, Logan looked up and discovered that the pigeon circling around them both dropped a heavy waste pile just beyond Maria’s open supply bag barely missing it in its flight. The sight almost made Logan smile when he thought about how much Agent Hill would enjoy that little surprise later in the day if the bird kept on flying around overhead. Then again it seemed as if the bird had moved on when Logan hunched over in his spot beside Maria once again to resume in his complaining.

“A lot of good I’m doing out here,” Logan remarked sourly when he reached for the weapon that she’d provided him once again, “You know I’m not a marksman, right?”

“I’m aware of your limited capacity in that particular area, but at the same time I’m also aware of your reputation for fucking things up when you let your rage get the best of you,” she shot back icily behind pinched lips. She held her finger over the trigger of her sniper rifle, keeping it in position when Logan reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar that he’d managed to pick up in the gift shop at the hotel they’d been staying at. It was cheap and undoubtedly stale but pinching it between his lips seemed to put him at ease when he grudgingly looked through his binoculars once again.

“Say what you will, but my rage is what has kept me alive on most occasions. My instincts have always kept me one step of the game,” Logan grumbled slumping down beside her again.

“While simultaneously leaving an obvious bloodbath in your wake,” she quipped never missing a beat as her eyes were focused on the compound before them.

“They weren’t exactly good people I was killing you know,” Logan scowled unable to ignore her condescending tone, “It’s people like me that make your job easier because the people who hired you have me do things that the luxury of your job doesn’t push upon you.”

“Luxury?” she repeated with a small, hollow laugh, “What about any of this seems luxurious to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Logan grumbled with a shake of his head, “Playing dress up and hanging out in posh underground nightclubs with Cyclops doesn’t exactly sound like a hard time for you.”

“Neither does laying out on a table and fantasizing about him in an attempt to avoid reality,” Maria scoffed in a bristling tone when it was clear that Logan’s time in observation was far from being his own.

“Those trials were none of your business—at least not where I’m concerned. I went in there to do a job with the approval of your higher ups and…” Logan argued with her when his fingers twisted into fists causing his knuckles to grow white.

The winds kicked up around them bringing with them the overwhelming scent of bird shit, piss and nicotine until suddenly another familiar scent carried over the air between him and Maria. Turning towards her, he found himself weighing out his options as she admonished him for his role in their mission. At first, he’d found he was able to tolerate it—to behave as Slim had suggested, but now that she had begun to make things personal, he found himself at a crossroad weighing out his options over something he’d picked up on a short while earlier on their mission. Granted he’d thought about it on the ride to Kingston, but now with Maria beside him covered in the scent of the same awful chemical smelling soap that Scott had used in the shower and a hint of perfume, he caught a whiff of something far more familiar.

“And I’m sure they will be very appreciative of the lengths at which you went to in order to destroy their data collection,” Maria muttered with a knowing scowl on her face. She continued to lecture him causing Logan to lose his patience from his spot on the rooftop, “all because your latest crush was in the building.”

“As if you’re in a position to judge my actions,” Logan scoffed issuing Maria a scrutinizing glare, “Don’t think that I haven’t noticed what’s happening here.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snubbed at his words attempting to blow off his obvious observation when it was painfully clear that she was covered in the scent of Clint Barton.

“You smell like him,” Logan blurted out with a simple shrug when the color drained from her face, “It doesn’t take much to put that together given my heightened senses and…”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maria’s grip on her gun tightened causing Logan to realize he’d struck a nerve. He watched her jaw flex in the same way that Scott’s did when he’d pressed just the right button to push beyond the otherwise stoic exterior. Now with Maria it seemed he’d found the same pressure point and pushed just enough to illicit a similar response in seeing her nostrils flare with what he suspected was a moment of agitation and nervousness rolled into one.

“Just because he’s separated doesn’t mean he’s ready to give up on her,” Logan tossed back flippantly causing Maria to tense up at his accusation. When she responded with silence, he took the opportunity to drive the knife deeper when his irritation level had piqued from being shelved on the rooftop with her instead of being with Scott, “He’s still wearing his ring, which means it isn’t quite over for him yet.”

“The same could be said for Scott,” Maria’s words hit Logan like a dagger piercing his heart in an attempt to push him back to the reality that surrounded this new world, “It’s my understanding that Jean’s not that far from out of the picture at this point.”

“Be that as it may Scott and Jeanie don’t have kids,” Logan mouthed thoughtlessly immediately hating Maria’s response when a pained expression carried over her features. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, hadn’t even cared that she’d given him hell about Scott after his shit talking, but somehow the venom had come out without any real provocation. He attempted to sidestep on the issue when her anger surged inside of her causing him to realize that perhaps poking the irate agent wasn’t a smart idea, “Look all I’m saying is that Clint is a good guy. It’s who he prides himself on being. He and Laura have had a solid thing for years before it was on shaky ground and…”

“It’s none of your business Logan,” Maria cut back dismissively as she held the rifle in her hand. She kept it in a tight grip, her mind undoubtedly thinking of ways to destroy him with it now that they knelt in the rooftop shadows overlooking the warehouse with one another, “You’d just better hope for your sake that Jean Grey doesn’t choose to take it out on you for seducing her husband once she learns your truth.”

“If you think Jean’s worse than Laura, then you have no idea who you are dealing with,” Logan offered up when a flash of a memory of having dinner at Clint’s house carried over him. He could recall how he’d grudgingly accepted the offer, turning to join his old friend in his home with his family for a meal that was so unlike anything Logan experienced. With a blink of his eyes, Logan could almost smell the turkey dinner that Laura had prepared, he could almost hear Clint’s laughter when his children started telling silly jokes at a time when Logan wasn’t a part of this world. It was there before his eyes in vivid detail from the sights and the sounds, right down to the smell of cranberry as it was clear that Logan had somehow been invited as a holiday guest to the festivities. Blinking a few times, Logan could feel the memory forming in the back of his mind, bringing him insight on the man he’d been before he’d stepped into this new world.

“Just shut up Logan,” Maria snarled clearly enraged by his words when the sound of a horn honking caused her to refocus on Scott and Clint through her scope. She went into full soldier mode ignoring his comments in favor of keeping her focus on the mission they were on instead.

“Fine,” he remarked resuming in his pouting beside her. He spotted the van slowly pulling up the drive towards the security gate when he bit down harder on his cigar, “Slim shouldn’t be the one going in there. I should be the one sneaking in and…”

“He’s more tactful than you are,” Maria noted with a hint of agitation in her tone, “He knows what he’s doing and…”

“I don’t doubt that for a second, but he’s the one that Markus reached out to the other night or have you forgotten that already?” Logan questioned gruffly when his frustrations continued to mount, “He’s the one who Markus is going after and…”

“He can more than take care of himself out there,” Maria dismissed his concerns in favor of focusing on the van just outside of the walls of the warehouse fortress.

“I’m the one who should be there at his side doing what I can to I can to keep him protected,” Logan offered up when he felt a wheeze build up in his chest. Unable to help himself, he let out a series of coughs thinking about the fire that he’d been trapped in earlier in the day. It appeared that the effects of the smoke were still wreaking havoc on his insides despite his attempts at ignoring his body’s protesting reminders.

“How’s that healing factor working for you right about now?” Maria questioned never bothering to look at him. She was frozen in place keeping her focus on the van while questioning him, “Find yourself slowing down in your recovery?”

“No,” Logan lied fighting the cough that threatened to work its way over him once again. He stiffened beside her remembering the wounds that were still slow to heal on his body. With a frown he found himself contemplating the smoke inhalation’s effects on him. However, he wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of opening his truths to her now that she’d essentially shelved him on the mission rendering him helpless as Scott was in the line of fire, “It’s this place. It smells like shit, or haven’t you picked up on that?”

“I thought that was you,” she quipped revealing a brief sardonic smirk before tilting her head to take in the scene unfolding before them, “They are almost to the gates.”

“You’re sure this is going to work?” Logan questioned unable to mask the concern that carried over him when the van slowed down closer to the security checkpoint.

“Clint has this situation secured,” Maria replied in a cool, distanced tone, “He made certain that their clearance codes checked out. Once they get in the building it should be no problem. Their cover is airtight and…”

“One look at Scott and they will know something is off,” Logan explained weighing out their options for the mission, “If they see him, then Markus will realize that he is there and…”

“Clint has taken care of everything,” Maria added with a sharp hiss, “We went over this more than half a dozen times Logan. You know the plan inside and out.”

“Just because I know it doesn’t mean that I have to like it,” Logan decided unable to mask the apprehension that carried over him in knowing that Scott was knowingly walking into a potential trap where everything from here on out could blow up in flames if they took even one misstep.

“I don’t like anything about this either,” Maria revealed quietly catching him off guard with her words.

“Then why are we doing this?” Logan questioned watching as the truck in front of the van Clint was driving was cleared to enter the warehouse compound, “If you know the risk…”

“There are things worth risking it for,” Maria replied still focusing on the van, “As hard for you to understand that, the truth is that there is something inside of there that…”

“…a lot of people want to get their hands on, but you have to ask yourself are we doing this for the right reason? Is going in there really going to be beneficial for anyone at this point?” Logan tossed back at her as he found himself thinking about Scott’s apprehension about the potential trap they were walking into, “If this is just an information grab, what good will come out of it when we take that back to your higher ups? Do you really think that kind of information won’t come at a price down the line?”

“That’s why we have to get in there,” Maria answered stiffly causing Logan to wonder if perhaps they were in over their heads in more ways than she’d cared to disclose to him and Scott during their big briefing over what was ahead of them for their new mission. Judging by the expression on her face and the tension in the air between them he found himself questioning just what she was holding back on when something crossed in his mind contemplating his recent observations about the world around him.

“That information might be important, but we both know that’s not why we are here, is it?” Logan challenged eyeing her suspiciously when another thought carried over him, “You could’ve easily shut this down months ago if you or S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted to, but you don’t. This is personal. None of what you’ve been selling to Scott rings true in all of this…”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Maria frowned refusing to allow Logan the opportunity to shake her for information, “Right now we need to make sure that they get in there without any problems and once that happens, well, we can work through the next part of our plan.”

“If anything goes wrong…” Logan snarled feeling his body tighten with apprehension, “If this goes sour in any way…”

“Then I’m right here with this,” Maria motioned to the rifle in her hands, “and you’re…”

“Not going to hesitate tear each person inside of that warehouse apart if need be to save them,” Logan vowed as he watched Clint pull up to the building preparing to deal with security on his way into the warehouse leaving Logan to watch on baited breath hoping like hell things didn’t go awry for any of them.  
  


* * *

“What’s going on out there?” Scott’s muffled voice questioned from behind the driver’s seat of the van. He sat down on the van’s darkened interior tucked in a small hutch behind an oversized crate waiting for the signal when Clint pulled forward. The scent of cleaner and overwhelmingly strong pine filled the air around him causing him to fight to suppress the cough that built up in the back of his throat. Instead he sat perfectly still attempting to shut the stimulus around him off when he waited for Clint’s response.

“We’re just waiting on security to let that truck in and then we’ll be in there soon enough. After we get past the gate it will be smooth sailing from here on out,” Clint assured him with a confidence that Scott had seldom paid attention to with the Avenger at his side. Granted the two had never really spent all that much time together, but knowing that Clint and Logan were close, Scott had found himself on edge with Maria’s companion. However, knowing that everything was riding on their ability to work as a team, Scott found himself remembering his role in the mission.

“Let’s hope so,” Scott mouthed under his breath. He leaned back against the hardened wall between him and Clint’s seat as he thought about everything that was still ahead of them once they’d made their way through the gates.

“This is the easy part,” Clint added without any sense of hesitation. Instead he radiated assurance, which would undoubtedly be the key to charming the guards if need be should there be any question about their presence at the warehouse compound, “Okay, we’re up. Make sure you are down low so they can’t see you.”

“Got it,” Scott mouthed feeling foolish as he slipped down under a dark colored tarp waiting in silence as Clint pulled up to the security gate. When Clint stopped the van it jolted a bit, sending Scott forward into the back of the seat causing a small thump upon impact. Silently cursing under his breath, Scott fought to stay as still as possible as Clint rolled down his window and addressed the man before him.

“What can I do for you?” the man at the gate questioned as Scott listened to the sound of heavy work boots scraping along the pavement when the guard approached the car.

“I’m here to clean up an emergency situation asap,” Clint answered twisting his tone to offer up a far different accent than his usual voice. Scott immediately recognized it as a southern drawl, coming off as far more distanced from his companion’s usual demeanor now that they were preparing to enter into Markus’s compound ready to reclaim the information that Markus had taken with him in his trials, “Turns out you had one hell of a night here tonight.”

“Oh yeah,” the security guy grumbled when Scott heard another shuffling sound outside of the van, “Why is that?”

“From what dispatch explained it sounds like there was a real mess in there,” Clint continued to explain the story that they’d rehearsed earlier in the evening, “Something about an office party turned toxic in the bathroom if you catch my drift.”

“I don’t,” the man replied with deadpan seriousness.

“Then let me spell it out for you. It was something about a lactose intolerant employee hitting up the cheese wheel and the booze until the men’s room on the fifth floor looked like a bomb went off once the toilet was plugged and…”

“I’m afraid I’m not following,” the security man replied with growing agitation in his tone when Clint offered up a pinched laugh.

“I’m here to do a cleaning job before things get ugly with the workers up there,” Clint explained undoubtedly motioning to the logo on the van they were arriving in, “Someone called to have me come in and fix things before some uptight prick in management had a fit over the disaster that struck. Apparently, it is running over out into the hallway outside of the men’s room causing a real problem and…”

“I haven’t heard anything about this,” the security man’s voice was gruff, indicating that either he’d been experiencing a long day, or he wasn’t buying Clint’s story. Either way it proved difficult as Scott found himself struggling to hear the muffled words that came out of the man’s mouth when he seemingly argued with Clint.

“Look man it’s not my problem, but it will be yours if you just don’t let me do my job,” Clint’s voice grew impatient when Scott listened to the sound of papers shuffling. From what he could recall Clint should be showing the man the work order that they’d put together, hoping to provide the man with all the information they would need to get into the building without a second thought, “Look if you’d rather have your boys get to it, then you can deal with your boss and tell him why you are refusing to let me in. I get paid by the hour, so this is no skin off my back. The longer you make me wait, the more it goes into overtime for me so …”

“Just give me a second to see if this checks out,” the guard snarled as his footsteps moved away from the van indicating that he was going to be calling in their arrival at the warehouse.

“Oh, it will check, but seriously take your time I don’t mind overtime,” Clint tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, whistling a little tune to himself. He tapped his foot on the floor before speaking up under his breath in a muted tone, “He’s calling to check…”

“And he’ll get the rerouted number Maria set up alerting him of the problem,” Scott whispered thinking about the scenario they’d set up earlier when Clint’s contact had informed them about a late-night party taking place at the warehouse offices. As luck would have it the timing couldn’t have been more perfect for them in taking the next step in their plan. It had been the key to getting them the clearance they needed to enter the warehouse as part of the special cleaning crew ready to deal with the partygoers acts of indiscretions. Granted they had to improvise when both Maria and Scott had agreed that Scott’s presence at the security gate would raise questions, so at the last second the two person cleaning crew had been relegated to one leaving Clint to run with the cover story while Scott hid out in the van hoping like hell that they could make their way inside without much of a fuss. From what Scott understood it took a little bit of money and a small amount of planning before they were at the gate ready to work their way into Markus’s place to finish what they’d started, but with Clint’s persistence and the cover story that they’d built, it seemed as if they were going to have their in very soon.

“He doesn’t look so convinced,” Clint spoke up behind gritted teeth. His fingers began tapping more urgently on the steering wheel when it was clear his nerves were getting the best of him. The engine began to hum in its idle state when Clint’s fingers tapped louder indicating that his concerns were getting the best of him in the moment of hesitation.

“We don’t have a thing to worry about. Remember we planned this down to the letter. Once you reached out to your contact…” Scott began to remind him when Clint’s voice grew increasingly strained.

“Yeah I know,” Clint cut him off abruptly, “we found our way in and that was the biggest part of this job. Getting inside and…”

“With the rest Hill has us covered,” Scott whispered again remembering the position she’d taken on the adjacent building with Logan keeping a watch over their arrival at the warehouse, “and if anything goes wrong…”

“You’ll blast them,” Clint nodded before focusing on the guard on the phone again. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, unable to stay calm as time passed on with the guard still in the booth, “Yeah I get that, but given the manpower around this place…”

“What are we looking at?” Scott questioned twisting on the floor wishing like hell that he could get a clear picture of what kind of layout was around them. Unfortunately, due to his history with Markus, he had been forced into hiding depending on Clint for information.

“Fifteen guards on the perimeter,” Clint answered under his breath. He reached out for the radio turning it up a little bit to make it appear that he was simply singing along to the music that filled the front of the van, “Two in the security checkpoint building, three on the roof, two on the west side of the perimeter, three on the outside of the gates and the rest are spread out just beyond the gate.”

“Are they armed?” Scott asked quietly. He closed his eyes thinking about the blueprints Maria had shown him of the warehouse along with the surveillance photos someone had taken of the exterior of the warehouse a short while earlier. They served to build a picture in his mind as he took in Clint’s words imagining what was around them.

“Every one of them armed with semiautomatic weapons,” Clint spoke up tightly before he fell to silence again. When it was clear Clint was checking on the guard in his quiet contemplation, Scott did the same in keeping quiet, “Some of them are mutants.”

“How do you know?” Scott questioned taking in a small breath.

“It’s fairly obvious in some cases, but some of them…” Clint seemed to hesitate when something shifted in his tone. He twisted on his seat again causing the leather to creak underneath his weight.

“What?” Scott asked.

“I recognize some of them,” Clint confessed with tension coiling over his voice, “They…”

“They what?” Scott questioned tipping his head back. He let out a low breath keeping his eyes closed tightly as Clint seemed to hesitate further in his descriptions of the security around them, “Who are they?”

“They’re faces from that gang in Canada,” Clint answered with a distance in his voice that Scott couldn’t help but recognize. It was tension mixed with apprehension, but with it ran something far deeper than Scott had anticipated from his new companion—fear. Drawing in a breath, Clint tried to keep his voice steady, but it was no use as he attempted to explain further, “You know the one where you and Logan…”

“Right…” Scott felt his stomach tighten at the mention of those he’d dealt with in the past. Given that Maria had brought up the mission, he’d realized she must’ve been aware of their place on Markus’s payroll. At the time she’d brought it up in the car, Scott had thought she’d been trying to shake him about what had taken place during his time off the grid, but now as Clint’s response seemed to mirror Maria’s concerns, it became painfully clear what she had been searching for, “That was a long time ago Clint.”

“Not long enough,” Clint’s voice was laced with something darker with each passing second.

“I won’t argue that point, but right now we can’t think about that. Instead we must focus on what is around us. You need to tell me what you see,” Scott encouraged him on further when something clicked inside of Scott’s head. Markus had been smart—smarter than most, but in hiring those gang members on as security, Scott realized it had been a true power move. Given what Scott knew about their association, it made sense that Markus would want to utilize a great many of the remaining members floating around to serve his own dark purpose. Granted the bouncer at the club had been part of that gang, but Scott hadn’t recognized him as part of those who had tormented him, so it hadn’t been a problem moving forward into the club with Maria, but now with the idea of other members floating around the warehouse, Scott felt a knot forming in his shoulders, “How many of them?”

“At least four,” Clint confessed drawing in a nervous breath, “This isn’t good.”

“It will be fine,” Scott answered in a neutral tone, “We just have to stay focused and…”

“I’m focused, but at the same time if they are here…” Clint’s nerves were causing him to lose focus. It was clear in his voice that he was shaken but given how close they were to entering the compound, Scott realized that now wasn’t the time for Clint having a meltdown.

“I realize that you went through a lot during that mission given that things were…” Scott hesitated before speaking up in a smooth, even tone, “complicated. However, we have to remember that we don’t need to complicate them now by looking back on something that happened a while ago.”

“It still happened,” Clint’s voice held heavy disapproval, yet Scott forced himself to stay focused on what was ahead of them.

“I’m not going to argue that it wasn’t a challenge, but it’s irrelevant to the here and now,” Scott cut him off abruptly when the memory of the mission that he’d been on wormed it’s way into his head. Instead of focusing on the perimeter and the guards on hand, Scott found himself trapped in the darkness lost in nothingness when scattered images of torn, charred flesh and blood invaded his senses. In that moment he could almost taste the metallic sting in the back of his throat, could remember the way his broken body had fought in those hours until his fractured mind had been the key to pulling things together again.

“It isn’t that simple. I was there in the trenches when they did that to you and Logan. When I went in there to help and things went south like they did…” Clint’s voice waivered with the same uneasiness that Scott had found himself surrounded by in thinking back to the tense mission over the border.

“That was a lifetime ago, but this…” Scott began again.

“Is a reminder of what we endured,” Clint countered with a pinched hiss in his tone, “To pretend that these people weren’t a part of that horrible situation we endured when…”

“You told Maria about what happened on that mission, didn’t you? You mentioned the gang’s involvement in our mission when things went dark, didn’t you?” Scott blurted out finding himself uncharacteristically bold in his approach now that they were in the center of their new mission with one another, “She knew about the fallout after you shared the information that was off the record with her.”

“She asked me about it yes but…” Clint’s voice grew tense.

“That was classified information,” Scott’s tone was sharper than intended as he fought to pull himself back to the mission at hand, “You had no right to tell her what went down in Canada when we all agreed that…”

“She asked a question and I merely provided her an answer about…” Clint defended his position, but the certainty that had been in his voice earlier was now replaced with a wavering tone that was starting to cause their cover to crumble with each passing second they waited outside the security gate to gain entry to the warehouse.

“It wasn’t your place to give her the details we all agreed would be kept out of the report. You made a pact with the rest of us to keep certain aspects of the mission between those of us who were there. Regardless of what you think about me, we all agreed to the terms when everything was said and done,” Scott’s voice grew distanced when his scowl intensified, “You promised Logan that you wouldn’t say anything when…”

“No shit,” Clint snapped back at him, “I’m aware of that, but when she asked…”

“What?” Scott questioned with a frown when Clint let out a heavy, burdened sigh.

“I couldn’t keep it from her—not after all that happened,” Clint divulged quietly before something seemed to shift in him, “I’m not like you Summers. I can’t just bury it deep down inside of me pretending that it didn’t happen when…”

“All you did was give her information that will make this more difficult in the long run. Instead of pushing it behind us, you now have it on the front of your mind causing you to hesitate in moving forward. You deciding to share that with her was reckless at best,” Scott answered in a cold, abrasive tone, “Putting all of that on her is only going to…”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Clint snapped in recoil when his frustration mounted, “I couldn’t keep hiding from what happened no matter how much of a success that mission was. We went through hell when we were down in it and yeah, maybe their leader was neutralized, but at what cost? I thought you of all people would understand that after what it did to you and Logan…”

“We all agreed…” Scott reiterated when he listened to the sound of Clint shifting on the seat once again.

“Yeah, well that was all your decision. No one asked me if I was okay with that,” Clint argued unable to mask the newfound rage that overtook him, “You just decided how we were going to do things in the aftermath and…”

“What?” Scott questioned with a frown.

“I know that you have this uncanny ability to shut yourself off like you’re not even human anymore, but the rest of us aren’t like that,” Clint scoffed when it was clear that he was dealing with something much darker than Scott realized in their time together, “Bad shit happened and none of us except for you could ignore that. I wish I could shut it off, but I can’t. Logan went through hell and he couldn’t put it behind him either. You and I both know that…”

“Things were bad. I don’t argue that but dwelling on that trauma here and now won’t change anything. It won’t stop you from having the nightmares or being afraid to look over your shoulder when you see one of them wondering if they are coming for you to finish what we started, but at the same time…” Scott attempted to reason with Clint. He took in a breath fighting to help his companion stay in control of the mission at hand.

“You weren’t the one she took a liking to at the end of the day. You weren’t the one putting everything that you were on the line because she gravitated towards you,” Clint’s words came out sharper than Scott imagined he’d intended, “You weren’t the one that she wanted to consume and destroy in her thirst for power.”

“We took her down and locked her away for a very long time. She won’t ever see the light of day again now that she’s paying for her crimes,” Scott offered up in consolation, “She’s never going to reach any of us ever again.”

“You can’t be naïve enough to believe that to truly be the case. Given the level of influence she had over her followers, we both know that…” Clint attempted to argue with him.

“We stopped a disaster from happening,” Scott pointed out from behind the seat before Clint could lose himself completely to his fears, “We did what we had to do, and we got the job done.”

“But at what cost?” Clint questioned with a long sigh of frustration, “I still haven’t slept right since all of that happened. I still check over my shoulder constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can’t even walk into my home without being afraid I’m being followed…”

“Clint…” Scott spoke his name sympathetically as it was clear the mission had worked a number over his partner in ways he hadn’t anticipated.

“I haven’t seen my kids in almost six months Summers because I’m too afraid to risk putting their lives in danger over something that is never going to go away. When I think about the possibility of that mission working its way into their lives and touching them all because we went out on a limb and took that woman down before she could destroy the world around her…,” Clint blurted out in a painful confession that caused Scott to take pause, “Maybe you can just shut it off, but…”

“We did what was asked of us and we survived,” Scott reminded him pointedly, “That’s what counts in all of this. Sure, we’ve had more than our fair share of sacrifice along the way, but we knew that was a part of this when we signed up for it.”

“I didn’t sign up for any of what happened in Canada. My family didn’t ask for any of the aftermath,” Clint answered spitefully, “and as much as it pains me to say it neither did you. Even if you think you’re this impenetrable force that can bend, but never break we both know that…”

“Going down this road now isn’t going to take that away Clint. It isn’t going to repair that damage that has been done. We aren’t going to change what was, but right now we need to focus on what is. If we are caught up in the past, then we can’t move forward. We become shortsighted and we lose control of our lives and this mission,” Scott’s voice came out in a harsh, muted tone, “Do you want us to fail this mission?”

“Of course not, but…” Clint grumbled tapping his fingers on the steering wheel once again.

“Then we need to focus on getting inside of the warehouse and getting out of here undetected once we find what we are looking for,” Scott reminded him with a firm, warning tone, “You know what is expected of you in all of this. Maria is counting on you to get the job done.”

“I know that,” Clint sighed attempting to push past his fears when Scott listened to voices outside of the van growing closer in muffled tones, “but right now we’re going to have another problem if this guard doesn’t hurry up in checking out my credentials.”

“Why is that?” Scott asked arching his head back against the plastic behind him once again.

“I recognize one of the guys,” Clint answered tightly when Scott realized why Clint’s fears were starting to manifest all over again, “He was one of the ones that was there when Logan was hanging from that cross. He was there tearing at him and…”

“Clint…” Scott spoke his name sternly.

“Fuck!” Clint cursed slamming his fists on the dash when his frustrations mounted, “If he recognizes me, then this is over and…”

“Focus,” Scott ordered commanding Clint to return to their task at hand, “We need to get in there before that happens.”

“Don’t you think I’m aware of that?” Clint snapped back at him in recoil, “Trust me the last thing I want to be doing is sitting here essentially holding my dick and waiting for…”

Clint stopped talking when Scott heard the same shuffling sound of shoes on the pavement indicating that they were about to get their answer about getting inside.

“So, your story checks out,” the guard’s distanced voice announced as Scott returned to silence in his hidden space behind Clint’s seat. He listened as the man approached the van again and the shuffling sound of papers filled the van’s interior once again, “but we’re going to have to take a look at the back just to be sure you aren’t trying to bring in any type of surveillance equipment.”

“Are you serious?” Clint’s voice held agitation, “Do I look like I’m bringing surveillance equipment in with me? I deal with septic and other less than savory issues on the job here. I’m already running behind in my orders and…”

“I’m sorry, but that’s the only way you are getting inside,” the guard explained when Clint let out a long, impatient sigh.

“Yeah whatever,” Clint reached for the dials on the radio changing the tune to an old country western song. He hummed along before tapping his fingers over the top of the steering wheel again as if he’d been singing the entire time when the guard had left him alone instead of talking to Scott, “It’s your bosses’ dime not mine.”

“Open the back of the van,” the guard instructed as Clint grudgingly reached for the keys to the van. He was nervous—it was more obvious to Scott than ever after Clint had mentioned the previous mission and the other guards who’d been gang members, but Clint did as instructed pushing past it as he whistled to cover up his nerves. A moment later Clint opened the driver’s side door and walked around to the back of the van preparing to do as requested when Scott curled up behind the crate he’d been hiding behind. The tarp over him was dark enough not to gain any attention when the van’s doors opened if he remained perfectly still. If he could just slow his breathing and endure a few uncomfortable seconds, then they could gain access to the warehouse and be one step closer to completing their mission. Closing his eyes behind his glasses, Scott found himself thinking about Logan—remembering their final words before Scott had gotten into the van with Clint.

“Don’t go out there and get yourself killed at least not before we figure out where we stand with one another,” Logan had whispered heatedly over the back of Scott’s ear. Even now Scott could still feel the press of Logan’s fingers over his wrist, keeping him a step back behind Clint on their journey. The warmth of Logan’s touch imprinted into Scott’s flesh, staying with him long after Logan released him to grudgingly accompany Maria to their position. However, even in his absence, Scott could still take in the scent of Logan lingering upon him. It was there deep inside of him, over him in ways that Scott was certain that only Logan could pick up on in their time together. He’d pushed his way inside and now as Scott fought to keep his breathing to a minimum and his movements to even less than that, he found himself remembering the way that their time together had played out back at the hotel room.

“Logan,” Scott could remember himself panting as he’d watched Logan in the mirror claiming Scott as his own. Even now he could remember every taste, every touch and teasing sensation that Logan had offered him when they’d given in to desire with one another.

Despite the guilt Scott had felt over their history with one another, he’d craved Logan’s touch—needed it more than anything, but he’d refused to allow himself the luxury in completely enjoying it. He’d told himself if he could accept Logan’s violence and the rough touch that he’d asked Logan for, then everything else would refrain from invading his mind. If he gave Logan his body without sentiment, then he could shrug off what was happening. He could find a way to take it at face value without any other emotion attached to it. Sex with Logan…especially angry, reckless sex with rage and violence guiding it would be easier than facing what they’d done before. It was better than the alternative where they’d inevitable end up broken and tattered in ways they’d never recover from. It would’ve been better that way…except Logan had changed the rules. Keeping his eyes closed tightly, Scott thought to the pained expression on Logan’s face when Logan had felt rejected—to the way that Logan had called him out on his behavior, but it was in that final moment when Logan had lost himself inside of Scott that Scott had found himself slipping. There in front of the mirror Scott had seen the horrible, ugly truth that he’d been too much of a coward to face. He needed Logan just as much as Logan needed him and with Logan’s soft touch tracing patterns over his skin and holding him close, Scott realized that he, selfishly, refused to let go of a man who’d deserved so much more.

“You’ll be the death of me Slim,” Scott could hear Logan’s voice in the back of his mind taking him to darker moments that Scott hadn’t wanted to face ever again. Their mission together in Canada had been a blow to the wall that Scott had built around him where Logan was concerned, but Boston had been the nail in the coffin driving Logan even further away. That memory caused Scott to shudder when the slamming sound of the van’s door closing brought his focus back to the mission. Silently cursing himself for slipping away from the task at hand, Scott made a mental note to tuck his thoughts of Logan aside in favor of doing what was needed for their mission.

“And we’re in,” Clint announced turning the key in the ignition of the van. Putting the van into gear, Clint sat up straighter readjusting himself again as the slow grinding sound of the gates opened bringing them one step closer to their mission.

“Excellent,” Scott replied letting out a small breath of relief as he found himself struggling to regain focus on why he was in the back of the van preparing to take on a foe that undoubtedly made his mission in Canada look like a walk in the park. Thinking about the threats that Markus had issued him, Scott found himself pushing forward on high alert hoping like hell that they would have enough of a window of opportunity to get in and out of the building undetected with the information they needed.

* * *

“And they are in,” Maria revealed a breath of relief as she leaned back onto her knees on the rooftop. She brought one hand up over her forehead pushing her dark colored hair away from her eyes. Her finger eased up on the trigger of her rifle before she glanced over at Logan.

“Now what?” he questioned with a scowl watching as the gate closed behind the van Scott and Clint were in with one another.

“Now we wait,” Maria replied pushing up off her knees. She moved across the rooftop returning to her supply bag. Leaning over it she began to shuffle inside of the oversized black bag when Logan kept his eyes on the building beyond the one that they were perched upon.

“Until what?” Logan asked with a grumble.

“Until it is time for us to leave this place behind us once and for all,” Maria answered readily pulling a bottle of water out of her bag. She tossed it over her shoulder at Logan before resuming in her search through her things, “Drink that.”

“I’m not thirsty,” Logan looked down to the water bottle at his feet.

“Maybe not, but if you keep hacking like you’ve been doing, you’re going to give away our position up here,” she replied not bothering to look back at him as Logan grudgingly reached for the bottle. He twisted the top off it and took a long, hard swallow of the surprisingly cool liquid within.

“Thanks,” Logan gulped wiping at his mouth when Maria turned to face him once again.

“So, are we going to talk about it or are you going to keep trying to pretend that Euphoria hasn’t done something to you?” she questioned returning to her position on the rooftop beside him.

“I’ll be fine,” he answered dismissively.

“I’m starting to question that,” Maria hesitated before pulling a bottle of water of her own out from her bag. She twisted the top off before taking a drink herself, “and so does Scott. He knows that you aren’t at full capacity.”

“I will be,” Logan attempted to argue with her, “Those fires earlier were more than we expected and…”

“Was it worth it?” she questioned eyeing him expectantly, “After everything you endured, do you feel that it was worth the price you’re inevitably going to pay?”

“I don’t know,” Logan shrugged his shoulders, “You tell me. Was it worth it?”

“You have no idea how many hours I’ve put into this and…” Maria’s voice grew distanced when Logan couldn’t help but give her a long once over.

“And at the end of the day given the hits that you keep taking and the people you have lost along the way, was it worth it?” Logan tossed back at her flippantly.

“You have no idea the sacrifices I’ve made to ensure that this mission runs smoothly. Everything I’ve done it’s been for…” she bit back on her words seemingly holding back when she glared over at him again, “It isn’t your job to question me on any of this.”

“Maybe not,” he shrugged, “but what else do we have to do up here right now?”

“We can stay focused on the plan,” Maria replied nodding towards the warehouse, “By now Scott and Clint are undoubtedly inside making their way up to the floor where the records room should be located and…”

“Markus isn’t going to make it easy for them,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown, “We both know that the secrets he’s keeping are going to be far more guarded than under a locked filing cabinet filled with computer information.”

“We don’t need all of his secrets. Just the ones that…” Maria stopped herself before tilting her head to the side. She scrutinized Logan for a long moment before finally speaking up in a less abrasive tone, “You really decided to jump on this one because your friend asked you to do him a favor?”

Logan nodded, “Does that really surprise you that much?”

“Coming out of you,” she seemed to hesitate when a breeze swept over the rooftop where they were seated with one another, “it does. You don’t strike me as altruistic considering that…”

“I let me instincts be my guide when push comes to shove,” Logan challenge with a suggestive wiggle of his brow, “Say what you will about my rage, but it gets the job done.”

“That’s debatable,” she mouthed wrinkling her nose at him.

“Perhaps,” he shrugged. He contemplated his words before speaking up again in a softer voice than he’d intended, “So…you and Clint…how long have you two been…?”

“We aren’t,” Maria protested a little too adamantly when Logan shot her a disbelieving look. She opened her mouth to say something more before rethinking the action, “Look, you wouldn’t understand. You don’t know that…”

“You’re the one that got away, right?” Logan asked unable to quell the urgent tug at his instincts that seemed to surround him. Despite his lack of knowledge in this lifetime about his counterpart’s past there was something gnawing at the back of his brain causing him to question the things that he’d observed around him, “You’re the one he was so bent over when Laura left him the first time?”

“It’s not like that. It’s…” Maria stopped herself with a scowl. Like Scott she was heavily guarded with her emotions, putting up a wall between them in their conversation when it was clear that Logan had approached a tough subject with her. Instead of feeding into his words, she simply dismissed them with a cold, abrasive tone, “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“Maybe not,” Logan shrugged squeezing his fingers around his water bottle again, “but what else do we have to do while we wait?”

“Not this,” Maria decided taking another drink of her water when an uncomfortable silence surrounded them.

“Fine,” Logan pinched his lips together wishing that he hadn’t discarded his cigar in a haste as they’d waited for Scott and Clint to get through the gates. He looked to the warehouse again wondering what was happening inside as he found himself on edge in simply waiting.

“Fine,” Maria repeated seemingly closing herself off before she spoke up again, “Why did you do it?”

“What?” Logan questioned keeping his eyes on the warehouse across from the building they were on.

“This…” Maria waved her hand around in the air, “Getting involved in the trials.”

“I told you a friend of mine lost his granddaughter for a while. He asked me to look into it and…” Logan attempted to rehash the story of his involvement in the trials Markus was hosting, “He pulled a few strings and…”

“The same people that assigned me to this case worked their magic to bring you deep inside of it knowing full well that you were a wild card and…” Maria scoffed with a shake of her head.

“Norm has some strong pull with your bosses,” Logan reached for his binoculars once again, “He isn’t the kind of man that most can say no to especially when he wants something.”

“And yet you two are friends,” Maria noted with a small frown unable to mask her distain in the moment, “You and he go way back with one another.”

Logan nodded, “That’s right. We knew each other during the war.”

“Which one?” she questioned.

“Does it matter?” he turned to face her once again.

“Given how long you’ve been around it might be worth looking into considering that…” Maria shot back with a pinched expression on her face.

“Norm’s a good guy and when he was in trouble…” Logan defended his participation in the project that had led them to this moment in time caught up in the discovery process surrounding Markus and his trials.

“…you more than volunteered to step in and see what it was all about,” Maria continued to recount, “You found your way inside Markus’s inner sanctum and spent the time…”

“Learning what I could about the trials and Euphoria regardless of the cost involved,” Logan replied turning his attention to the burn marks on his palm still serving as a reminder of his slowing healing factor, “Norm was desperate for answers, so I did what needed to be done.”

“All while wasting the time to take a detour and explore a wild fantasy life at our expense,” Maria goaded him on with sarcasm in her tone.

“Why do you care so much about what was going on with me on that Euphoria trip during the trials?” Logan couldn’t help, but question with a frown. He shifted on the building swatting at an overzealous swarm of mosquitos that had started to buzz around the both of them in the warm air that surrounded them, “Why does it bother you so much that Slim and I are…close?”

“It doesn’t,” Maria spoke up behind pinched lips as she too waved her hand to swat at an aggressive mosquito. It buzzed away from her before Logan watched it turn around and attempt to attack her again. He raised his hand to prevent the mosquito’s movement, but watched as Maria held her hand out, clasping the mosquito in her curled fingers, closing them into a fist before dropping her hand down to the rooftop beside her. In the blink of an eye she reopened her palm slamming it down on the tarp beneath her and squishing the mosquito without batting an eyelash. As she raised her hand up again all the while using her other hand to reach for a wet wipe inside of her bag of supplies, she glanced at Logan in a brief, dismissive movement, “His decisions are entirely his own and…”

“You think he’s making a mistake with me,” Logan noted with a frown. He watched as Maria dutifully wiped the tiny blood spatter that the mosquito had left behind on the center of her palm, “You don’t think I’m good enough for him, do you?”

“That isn’t up to me to decide,” Maria answered in a cool, neutral tone.

“But you’re thinking it, aren’t you?” Logan accused.

“I never said that,” she wrinkled her nose at him.

“You didn’t have to,” Logan’s scowl intensified. He watched her reach into her bag to pull out a small bottle of bug repellent. Without a word she popped off the top of it spraying the cloud of repellent in the air surrounding her before offering the bottle to Logan. Grudgingly he accepted it and shot a quick spray around him as well for protection. Once he was finished, he tossed the bottle back to her and leaned against the metal platform behind where he was seated, “I’ll have you know that Slim is everything to me and…”

“Feelings often compromise a mission when they are on the front burner Logan,” Maria reminded him with a shake of her head, “Once you let your emotions get the best of you…”

“Says the woman who is sleeping with my very married friend and is in a power position over him in his career at this point,” Logan folded his arms in front of his chest. Wiggling a scrutinizing brow, he challenged her words with his own observations, “From what I’ve observed you’ve been nothing, but emotional since he arrived this morning when…”

“Why do men always revert to that?” Maria groaned outwardly when she shoved the bottle of mosquito repellent back into her back, “When they think for a moment that two people are involved in a sexual relationship with one another, they automatically assume that the woman can’t be in control of her emotions. They just start to assume that we all are hormonal emotional bitches who can’t get our shit done when we have a man in our life because…”

“Whoa back up,” Logan threw his hands up in the air defensively, “You were the one tossing out accusations at me about my behavior. You were trying to attack me for my personal involvement with Slim when…”

“You just couldn’t resist the opportunity to throw in a jab, could you?” Maria grumbled with obvious offense as she glared over at Logan. Shifting her position on the rooftop she stared him down with enough agitation that Logan found himself grateful that looks couldn’t truly kill a person.

“You opened the door and I merely…” Logan began.

“…decided to turn the tables around on me given that it is easier than analyzing your own mistakes that you’ve made on this mission,” she scoffed with a shake of her head, “Trying to bring up my shortcomings isn’t going to bring us any closer to a resolution in this case and…”

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Logan questioned ignoring her words in favor of exploring his newfound curiosities over his companion’s attachment to Clint Barton, “The two of you…what you’ve got going on between you isn’t just about having fun is it? It’s not about an affair. It’s…”

“None of your business Logan. Clint may be your friend, but neither he nor I owe you any answers about our personal business,” Maria shot back with another dismissive glare, “For what it’s worth Clint and I…well, I’m not confirming or denying anything, but we have a history with one another.”

“Is that right?” Logan sat up straighter weighing out his options as it seemed that Maria was on the verge of opening to him.

“Again, it isn’t any of your concern, but I can assure you that it hasn’t hindered my ability to perform appropriately as his commanding officer or put my head in this mission wholeheartedly when I’m well aware of the risks involved. Coming out here today was undoubtedly a risk, but it was one worth taking when…”

“…there are so many things riding on a resolution,” Logan finished for her, “I understand that Maria, which is why I agreed to sit here on my ass doing nothing while Scott let you run the show. For some reason he trusts in what you are doing even though he’s not convinced that this is the right way to go about things.”

“Letting you go in there with him after what happened at the club didn’t strategically seem like the best of ideas,” Maria further explained. Bringing one hand up over the back of her neck, she rubbed at the obvious tension building there before she nodded to the warehouse again, “Scott knows what he needs to do. When he’s focused on a mission, he is unstoppable, but when he’s concerned about his teammate he falters in that unilateral focus at times. I realize that doesn’t happen too often, but right now the last thing he needs to be doing is worrying about you.”

“Worrying about me?” Logan couldn’t help, but laugh, “Do you have any idea who you are talking to?”

“I’m well aware,” Maria cut back sharply, “which is why I stand by my decision to keep you here with me for now.”

“Effectively cutting me off at the knees and leaving Scott open for any kind of backlash Markus could be preparing for him,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown, “You really are intent on using him as bait, aren’t you?”

“That’s not what…” her face grew flushed as she argued with him.

“Sure, you are,” Logan leaned forward to scrutinize her all over again, “What is it about Slim that made him your new expendable in all of this?”

“He isn’t expendable,” she answered in a flat, uneasy tone, “He’s just well-versed on how to deal with tense situations given his recent history of…”

“Of what?” Logan questioned.

“Don’t play coy Logan,” Maria rolled her eyes at him, “You know as well as I do that he’s the one man who can go in there and get the job done no matter what the risk. He’s smart enough to work his way out of it and…”

“You’re saying that, but you don’t think he has a shot in getting out of there in one piece, do you?” Logan questioned sensing she was holding back on something with him, “You think Markus has something waiting for him, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t have sent him and Clint in there if I felt that they wouldn’t make it out alive,” she replied turning away from him. Her gaze lingered to the warehouse again when Logan found himself wishing like hell that he could see inside of her head to discover what it was that kept the wheels turning for her in her silent contemplations.

“I have no doubts that Scott is a professional first and foremost. He’s always at the top of his game even when I’m involved in a mission with him,” Logan defended his lover’s ability to lead a team and get the job done, “All of those traits he possesses are still there even if someone he cares about is accompanying him. He’s the most skilled tactician I’ve ever known”

“I’m not saying that he isn’t all those things that you say given all that you’ve been through together, but at the same time with all the destruction and chaos that has followed the both of you as of late each time you’ve been assigned to a mission with one another, well, I know how fast things can take a turn for the worst if you aren’t careful,” she paused tilting her head to the side and addressing him directly, “Clint told me about what happened in Canada when you were all on that mission.”

“What about it?” Logan shrugged his shoulders when he realized that she was referring to something that he was clearly supposed to have knowledge of. However, in being stuck in a new life with little to no memory of the man he was before, he found himself just as clueless as she undoubtedly was about specific details of his counterpart’s time in Canada with Scott.

“You don’t have to pretend. I know what happened during those seventy-two hours you spent off the grid,” Maria prodded him further as if she was seeking out a reaction from him that he was certain he couldn’t give her.

“So,” he shrugged again all the while watching her closely and wondering if she could provide him with details of the mission that had been brought to his attention, “What of it?”

“You can’t tell me that it didn’t change things—that it didn’t sever part of the connection you shared with Scott given what they did to the both of you during that time. The things that you both endured when things took a wrong turn...”

“On the mission,” Logan offered up watching her shift on the roof uncomfortably before him.

She nodded suddenly unable to meet his eyes when it was clear whatever knowledge she had of the mission wasn’t pleasant for her to recall, “When Clint told me about what happened to the three of you…”

“Again, what of it?” Logan questioned watching her closely.

“I understand how you could heal from the things that they did. With your obvious physical abilities and your long history in dealing with warfare I could see how you might be able to keep going forward without any long-term consequences, but with Scott or even Clint…” Maria looked off in the distance. Her jaw flexed with tension when her mind was traveling beyond the place where they sat with one another, “He still has nightmares about what that woman did to him during that time you were undercover. He still wakes up screaming in the middle of the night after the way that she…”

“What?” Logan questioned sensing something that she wasn’t quite saying to him about their companion.

“He hasn’t been the same since that time in Canada,” Maria shook her thoughts when she focused on him once again, “He tries to pretend that it doesn’t shake him, but he’s still lost in that dark place she put him in far from where he once was and…”

“You want me to help you rescue him from his nightmares,” Logan concluded eyeing her expectantly, “You want me to help you free the demon walking around inside of him tearing at his memory so that he can make room for you in his heart.”

“It isn’t about his heart or untangling his mind,” Maria replied, “It’s about…”

“What?” Logan questioned sensing her hesitation.

“Locking that darkness behind him once and for all,” Maria answered point blank, “That mission changed him, and I strongly suspect that it did the same for Scott. They both have different means of coping with it, but now…”

“You think it’s wise to send them into this together because you what? You want them to come out stronger in believing that if they can take down Markus together, then they can move past the issues you believe are accumulating in their psyche?” Logan scoffed shaking his head at her once again, “That ain’t how trauma works Hill. As much as I’d like to tell you one victory changes the way you feel about your past, it doesn’t erase the horrors that are still there in the back of your mind taking you down that dark path further from reality in the late night hours. It doesn’t make you feel any more certain of your future or what happens next when everything leading up to that point has taken you to a dark road where…”

“I don’t expect this mission to make things better for Clint, but maybe it will give him an external focus on something worth fighting for,” Maria answered readily, “If we are able to…”

“What?” Logan found her shutting down before him once again. There was something on the tip of her tongue—something that she clearly wanted to talk to someone about, but just as soon as it had started to surface, she began closing herself off all over again.

“Just trust me that this is where we need to be right now,” Maria half pleaded with him with an uncharacteristically defeated sigh, “We wait for the signal from them and then we work to get them out of there.”

“Fine,” Logan replied turning his attention to the warehouse again, “but if this ends up going bad, I’m going in there.”

“We both will,” Maria insisted looking through her scope again and seeking out the position where the van had been parked.

“How is it looking?” Logan questioned reaching for his binoculars again. Without awaiting her response, he found himself looking onto the warehouse compound and seeing the men guarding the building’s perimeter. Shifting his focus from one guard to the next, he found himself hesitating when he spotted a familiar tattoo on the man’s face near the southern end of the warehouse roof. As the man began to pace on the top of the building holding his gun in hand, Logan couldn’t help but focus on the man when his body involuntarily reacted with a sudden sense of familiarity and muscle memory.

“No one betrays us,” an enraged voice snarled causing Logan to shudder with recall.

Closing his eyes, Logan found himself strung up on a makeshift cross, splayed out across the splintered wood with spikes driven into his flesh. Tipping his head down, Logan found himself taken from the rooftop with Maria to a place where his blood rushed down over his cracked open chest, pouring into a congealed darkened pool on the ground beneath him. His flesh had been peeled away from his outer thigh, extracted with precise surgical cuts as the man before him was dangling the freshly sheered skin in front of Logan’s blurred eyes. There was a maniacal laugh followed by the damp slap of the skin against the side of Logan’s face forcing him to stay with the man in his torment.

“Did you really think that you could fool us by playing the role of a double agent?” the man’s voice rose with accusation. He smeared the newly removed flesh over the side of Logan’s face, forcing Logan to feel his dying skin pressed up against his hollowed cheekbone. On the wooden cross his arms were stretched out, bound by metallic chains just below his wrists with spikes driven into his wrists and ankles. From what he could tell he was naked and dissected by the man with the scalpel before him, waving it around with each dramatic word he spoke, “You’re going to burn for what you’ve done to betray her. That much I can promise you.”

“Logan,” Maria’s voice pulled him from the haunting memory as he felt her hand upon his shoulder. Without thinking he dropped the binoculars and snarled, turning to face her with claws unsheathed as the vivid imagery still haunted his subconscious. In that moment she leapt back rising to her feet and keeping her gun near her chest when Logan’s cheeks puffed with rage and terror at the memory of a life that hadn’t been a part of his before that moment in time, “Logan…listen to me. I don’t know where you just went, but right now we’re still on the roof and…”

“Stay back,” Logan warned still caught up in the scent of blood and bodily fluids, of madness and dark torment when the snippets of images flashed through his mind like a dark, twisted video montage revealing the awful truth about the man that stood on the roof to Markus’s compound holding a weapon at his side for any would be intruder. Although Logan couldn’t recall his name or where they’d encountered one another, the quick, snapping pictures in Logan’s subconscious told him that his other self had undoubtedly faced horrible consequences at that man’s hand. In the brief memory that sparked inside of him, Logan had found himself in a terrible, wretched place filled with a sense of despair and darkness that he hadn’t found since he’d arrived in this new world back at the school.

“Look at me,” Maria’s voice attempted to keep him from going full feral when his thoughts got the best of him. She opted to lower her gun before she held her hands up, allowing him to see that she was harmless—that she was a part of the new reality that he’d found himself in far from the past where he’d lost everything and been removed from the tortured memories of the man whose body he now inhabited. In this world he might have been once been in a place scarred by a dark evil, but in this time and place he was still sitting on the sidelines awaiting word on Scott and Clint as they’d made their way into Markus’s compound preparing to follow through on Maria’s request for information, “Logan tell me where you are right now.”

“I’m on this roof with you surrounded by bird shit and mosquitos,” Logan blinked a few times as his heart rate returned to normal. He inhaled the dry air around him, unable to ignore the various scents and sounds that carried over his senses. For a moment he closed his eyes taking in a calming breath and finding him searching for focus in the confusion that ripped over his body moments earlier. In his quest for clarity he found it moments later when his thoughts drifted back to his old life with Scott in his arms promising Logan forever as the two had found comfort in one another’s arms. With each breath Logan took, he returned to that place where he and Scott had declared their love for one another against the odds until that final morning when their lives together had fallen apart. That thought hit Logan like a ton of bricks when he was surrounded by the emptiness of the life he’d left behind. For a bleak, fleeting moment it started to take him under, but suddenly he found himself back at the club running out of the building with Scott over his shoulder. He blinked a few times before finding himself returning to the bar being propositioned by Scott in a blatant fashion before the two had finally given in to temptation in this lifetime. In a whirlwind of snapshots, Logan found himself caught up in the weight of their bond—lost in the reality that they were still worlds apart when another more pressing thought carried over him guiding him to the reality he was now surrounded with on the rooftop with Maria away from the action that was taking place inside of the warehouse with Scott and Clint, “They’re in trouble.”

“What?” Maria questioned when Logan motioned over to the compound once again.

“I know what you said we should do, but we need to get in there right now,” Logan explained frantically, “This is a trap! We’ve been set up and they are walking right into it as we speak!”


	15. Taunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Clint face a tense situation when the past refuses to stay buried. Troubled by the tension on the mission, Scott returns to his darkest moment when the memory of his biggest regret guides him forward in sealing his dark fate.

**Taunt:** _a remark made in order to anger, wound, or provoke someone_.

“This place is a damned maze. Are you sure we are on the right path?” Clint nervously questioned as he and Scott moved through the darkened hallway of the compound prepared to seek out the information that had prompted them to enter the mission to begin with. With each twist and turn they found themselves further entrenched in the intricate compound moving further from the safety of the van outside.

“We’re working on it,” Scott replied in a hushed voice doing his best to navigate through the darkened warehouse compound. With each shadowy corner of the winding hallways it seemed that the building was drawing them in—taking them further from the outside world and pulling them deeper into its dark center far from the world beyond the iron walls of the fortress that surrounded them.

“Are you sure this is the right way?” Clint asked in a cautionary tone, unable to find comfort in Scott’s response.

“I’m positive of it,” Scott answered in a firm, commanding voice hoping to convey his certainty to his partner, “We’re on the right path.”

“Are we almost there yet?” Clint questioned again unable to avoid revealing the growing apprehension that carried over him. It made his distraction even more obvious when Scott found himself wondering why Maria hadn’t thought to prepare them for what they might encounter on the other side of the wall.

Despite their ability to enter the building around the back without raising any kind of suspicion, Scott knew full well that Clint had been shaken by what he’d witnessed with the familiar guards outside the building. It was something that Scott had fought to work around knowing full well that Clint’s shaken confidence would hinder any of the progress to be made. Still attempting to stay focused, Scott tried to work through a plan to keep them on track in their mission, but with Clint’s growing impatience and sudden apprehension it seemed that things were going to prove more challenging for them.

“Almost,” Scott replied quietly maneuvering them through the building as the memory of the blueprints he’d forced himself to remember played out in his mind. Fortunately, when it came to things of great importance, Scott had prided himself on having a bit of a photographic memory. This was no different than those instances in the past when Scott found himself moving towards the location that Clint’s contact had directed them to in this new headquarters that Markus has set up for his information.

“Almost isn’t good enough. As cliched as it sounds this place gives me the creeps,” Clint’s voice pushed out in a harsh, uneasy whisper. The only sounds in the corridor were their feet on the ground, quietly pushing around the sharp, jagged corner of the hallway only to reveal another long, winding hallway before them.

“Trust me. I know what I’m doing,” Scott answered dismissing his companion’s concerns, “We’ll get there soon.”

“Not soon enough,” Clint grumbled under his breath from his positioning behind Scott.

“You aren’t kidding,” Scott offhandedly mouthed in response before they came to a crossing of paths. Leaning up against the wall Scott closed his eyes again and fought to keep himself focused on what was before them. He could imagine the blueprints on the tabletop in Maria’s hotel room, spread out for the taking and needed to be studied down to the letter when Scott found himself thinking about the things Maria had shared with him.

“This just doesn’t feel right,” Clint blurted out revealing the same unrest that Scott had fought to contain during their venture into the building.

“No,” Scott finally agreed with him, “it doesn’t, but I’m sure we can find a way to remedy the situation soon. All we have to do is get to our destination and…”

“It sounds easy enough,” Clint let out a small, nervous laugh, “Then again it always does when they send us out into the fire, doesn’t it?”

“Hill wouldn’t lead us astray. We can do this Hawkeye,” Scott reminded him in a firm, commanding tone, “We just need to stay focused on the mission and…”

“You can be focused and still realize that something isn’t right here,” Clint added with a shuffling of his feet, “This just seems…off.”

“I won’t argue that, but it isn’t our place to question that now that we are here. We can observe as we go, but as it stands, we can’t keep wasting time. We need to get to that room and…”

“How do you always do that?” Clint questioned with another uneasy laugh.

“Do what?” Scott replied.

“Dismiss someone’s concerns when you’re focused on the end goal ahead of you,” Clint continued with a rising agitation in his voice, “I mean seriously how can you just shut it off like you do when you’re in the field like this?”

“It’s part of the job. Just because I don’t dwell on things doesn’t mean that I’m not aware of them,” Scott answered curtly, “To be anything less than professional means that…”

“Someone dies,” Clint finished knowingly, “yeah I get that, but what about those times when we do everything right and then something like what happened in Canada takes place and…?”

“Canada was a mistake,” Scott interrupted behind pinched lips, “It was a screw up that was beyond our control….”

“A screw up?” Clint repeated with wide eyes, “That’s what you’re calling it after the things that woman did to all of us? After the way she had Logan butchered like that by her people…after the things she did to me and to you at that. How can you trivialize it by calling it a simple screw up?”

“Because,” Scott answered in a flat, even tone, “we recovered and came out on top of the situation…”

“With a laundry list of enemies just waiting to literally stab us in the back or put us in the ground,” Clint reminded him with a small huff, “In case you forgot it never really ended once we put her away. Her incarceration was only the beginning of this nightmare.”

“It only continues if we let it continue. Once we breathe life into it again, it never ends and all it does is drag us down,” Scott answered in a firm, distanced tone. He looked past where they were standing thinking about the lack of any real patrol in the building after they’d worked their way inside. Clint was right about one thing…something was off. It was almost too easy as Scott found himself contemplating the road ahead of them, “You and I both know that today is about doing what we were sent here to do. Those guards outside were meant to shake us up, which clearly they’ve served their purpose given your lack of concentration now, but…”

“You can’t tell me you believe that shit you’re spouting off. There’s no way that you could just shut it off without consequence,” Clint argued further, clearly unable to step outside of his thoughts to return to their mission with one another.

“You wouldn't believe how easy it is to shut something out of your mind if you will yourself to stop thinking about it,” Scott looked over his shoulder at Clint, hoping that his words would be enough encouragement to assist Clint in returning to the task at hand, “Regret is something that holds no place on the battlefield. Looking back will always keep you from moving forward especially when tasked with something like what we are here to do today.”

“That’s such a load of crap if I ever heard one,” Clint snapped. He moved a few steps back pacing around the darkened hallway before throwing his hands up in the air in frustration, “Logan always said you were heartless when the situation called for it. Hell, in his own way I think it’s something he always admired about you in your ability to shut down, but I think it’s not right. It’s not human and…”

“Human instincts will only get you so far in a fight,” Scott cut him off abruptly, “and the longer you find yourself returning to things like fear and regret, the harder it is to pull yourself out of the hole you are digging for yourself.”

“Spoken like a man who doesn’t give a damn about the world around him—just about getting things done,” Clint replied with a hollow, distanced laugh, “No wonder Maria is so convinced you are perfect for this. You’re like a damned machine.”

“Now isn’t the time for this,” Scott reminded him with a shake of his head, “You’re more than entitled to your opinion about me, but right now…”

“I just thought…” Clint interrupted with a pinched laugh behind a tense grimace, “For a while when you walked into that compound back in Canada ready to do what was necessary to get to us, I almost believed everyone was wrong about you. When you walked through those doors the way you did letting go of all this facade putting your pride aside and offering yourself up as a sacrifice in order to barter for our lives…”

“Look…” Scott cut back sharply, “right now…”

“You were just as afraid as we were Scott. I know that when she did those things to all of us that you were just as worried that we weren’t going to make it out of there,” Clint asserted with a dark fear taking over his tone, “When they did those things…when they cut Logan like they did and burned him…”

“Clint,” Scott attempted to pull his partner from the moment of recall that seeing the guards had sparked inside his memory.

“That bitch ruined us back there Scott. The things that she did to tear us to pieces…” Clint raised his head up to meet Scott’s glasses with a wounded expression on his face, “I’m still broken by what she did to me. When I think of her hands on my skin…of the way she took her time making me suffer for…”

“We apprehended her and took down her organization,” Scott pointed out. He looked beyond where Clint stood in the hall wondering if anyone else was nearby that could hear his partner’s sudden outburst, “While I realize seeing those guards again may have stirred up something inside of you from that time, you have to get focused again. You need to remember that this is now and that was…”

“The worst fucking days of my life,” Clint’s lower lip quivered with recall. Even though he’d have trouble admitting it, he’d lost his focus. In Scott’s observations, he could see that Clint’s hands were shaking taking away his biggest asset should they prove to run into trouble with one another. Instead he was a man broken by the past caught up in a memory that was too powerful for him to let it go at the worst possible time, “When our cover was blown everything was crumbling to pieces until you walked through that door. When you forced your way into that compound and laid yourself down at her feet like you did to save us especially after what she had them do to Logan, I saw something for a brief, flickering second back in Canada that led me to believe that we were all wrong about you…that you might be human.”

“Clint,” Scott sighed impatiently. He turned around to look at his companion with a frown, “while I can understand why this is fresh on your mind given what you witnessed out there on the grounds, you need to forget about Canada. You need to think about now and…”

“She damn near killed us and those people outside the walls of this building are more than ready to pick up where she left off those months ago,” Clint blurted out frantically, “I’m certain that one on the rooftop recognized me and the one walking by…”

“They weren’t looking for you,” Scott dismissed Clint’s concerns, “because if they had been, we would both be dead. We wouldn’t have made it through those gates and…”

“But what if you’re wrong?” Clint questioned further, “What if we’ve gone about this the wrong way and…?”

“Maria would’ve known if we were walking into a trap,” Scott replied now less convinced than he’d been before their arrival, “Your contact would’ve said something to alert you to the fact that…”

“Not everyone knows about what happened north of the border,” Clint responded after a moment’s hesitation, “The things that went down there are things that…”

“We don’t need to talk about especially now,” Scott clarified with a disapproving scowl, “Right now you need to stop dwelling on it and focus on why we are here. This doesn’t help either one of us, so just stop while you’re ahead.”

“Just stop?”

“That’s right,” Scott nodded, “Do what you need to do to push it away for a little while. Worry about it on your own time.”

“My own time? Wow…so that’s it? I should have known. I guess I was wrong to think you were more than the heartless robot everyone said you are time and time again. You really are a prick, aren’t you?” Clint spat back with a shake of his head, “Damn, how could I be so wrong to believe that there might be something more to you?”

“Don’t worry it won’t be the last time you make that mistake,” Scott turned to look to the hallway in front of him preparing to move further towards their goal.

“Logan was right,” Clint cut back with a harsh, abrasive tone, “You really are a cold son of a bitch. Leaving you and your team would’ve been the best thing to ever happen to him.”

“I won’t argue that,” Scott answered readily, stiffening his back when the weight of his words carried beyond his tongue over his lips to reveal the truth in the thoughts that had consumed him, “I’m no good for him. I won’t pretend otherwise.”

“From where I stand, I don’t think you’re good for anyone,” Clint blurted out contemptuously.

“There we are finally in agreement on something,” Scott sighed feeling the heavy burden of his sins weighing upon his chest and shoulders, “but it’s that inability to be Mr. Popularity that is going to keep our heads above water when we finish what Hill started. After today you don’t ever have to get this close to me again and…”

“You need to let him go,” Clint spoke out again catching Scott off guard with the candidness in his tone.

“Look I realize that you feel this is necessary right now, but it isn’t the time to…” Scott began with a frown.

“If you care about him at all, you need to stop stringing him along,” Clint answered lowering his voice when the empty corridor felt almost darker in their isolation from the rest of the world, “If you ever gave a damn about him at all, then you’ll let him walk away and find happiness in his life. He deserves that.”

“I know,” Scott didn’t bother to fight the truth that he’d carried for years inside of him.

“He did what he did back on that mission because he wanted to please you. He thought that getting involved in all of that would…” Clint paused when there was a sound in the distance. As soon as it echoed in the hall, Scott raised his hand up in the air motioning to silence his companion until the footsteps faded off in the opposite direction serving as enough reason to end the small talk in favor of returning to their mission.

Without a word, Scott curled his fingers motioning for Clint to follow him down the hall to the left, moving at an accelerated pace when it seemed that they were finally alone again and out of harm’s way. Coming to an opening in the hallway, Scott looked out into a grand atrium, tipping his head up to discover that there were guards moving across the crosswalk above them. Silently he pointed to the guards motioning for Clint to be on high alert when the men above paced around the overhead path. They held weapons in their arms, both looking bored and ready for a change of pace when Scott turned to Clint again.

“On the count of three we need to make a move over towards that entryway,” Scott motioned to the double doors on the opposite side of the atrium, “We need to distract them and…”

“How do you propose that we…?” Clint started to ask when Scott carefully repositioned himself to focus on one of the lights near the double doors on the side opposite of where they needed to be. He took in a slow breath signaling Clint to move on his count. When Clint stepped forward, Scott shifted his attention to the light beside the double doors. He positioned his glasses just over the bridge of his nose, giving himself enough room to follow the path his eyes had shown him seconds earlier. Carefully opening them he shot a beam out across the atrium, up to the wire covered glass encasing and causing the lightbulb to explode within. Immediately the sound of shattering glass and the popping of the bulb caused both guards to go running to investigate when the overhead path went dark.

“Now!” Scott ordered in a tight whisper. Watching as Clint ran towards the doors, Scott took the time to keep his focus on the guards preparing to do what was necessary to keep them at bay should they question his diversion. When it appeared that they were in the clear, Scott simply redirected his focus following Clint through the double doors until they found themselves facing an even darker more cramped hallway with less outside lighting than the last one that they were in.

“So far so good,” Clint mouthed when Scott discovered that in the time Clint had been in the hallway beyond the atrium during their separation that Clint had encountered a guard. However, instead of being a problem the clueless man was laid out on the ground knocked out and tied up in a ropelike material that Clint must’ve pulled out from one of the rooms adjacent to where they were standing together.

“That was fast,” Scott noted unable to mask he’d been impressed by Clint’s quick handiwork especially after his brief meltdown moments earlier.

“Yeah, well you know,” Clint shrugged offering up a smug grin, “I make friends fast, but this guy, well he lacked a sense of humor I guess.”

“Right,” Scott walked over to the guard reaching for his shoulders and pulling him up off of the ground, “but right now we need to make sure your friend doesn’t wake up and tell anyone that we’re here.”

“He’s not going to be waking up for a while and when he does, he won’t know what happened,” Clint assured Scott as the two men carried the guard over to a small supply closet.

Much to Scott’s relief that closet was unlocked and as the door opened it revealed various cleaning supplies from within lined from floor to ceiling. Together, they moved around the cramped space and set the man down near the back of the closet before Clint reached for a wooden handle broom. He carried it out into the darkened hallway with him gripping it with both hands when a determined scowl spread over his tense features.

“What are you going to do with…?” Scott started to ask when Clint broke the broom in half. He grabbed a broken piece of the wood. He knelt to the floor just beyond where Scott was standing still holding onto the splintered wood. He pushed it across the floor wedging it underneath the door to keep it jammed shut.

“In case my new friend wakes up,” Clint explained standing upright and dusting his hands off on his slacks. He turned to look at Scott with a triumphant smirk clearly proud of his decision when he puffed out his chest, “I know it doesn’t look like much, but he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Lucky us,” Scott mouthed shrugging his shoulders and looking out to the darkened corridor once again, “Can we return to the mission now?”

“Yeah,” Clint seemed to weigh out Scott’s words, “okay I’m ready now.”

“Good then maybe we can get back on track and finish this job in time to catch that game you and Logan were talking about. If we play our cards right, we get out of here and get a drink when this is over,” Scott replied when Clint gave him another strange look.

“Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?” Clint wrinkled his nose at him.

“Do I sound like I’m joking?” Scott asked with deadpan seriousness in his tone.

“I just basically told you that I think you’re an asshole and now you want us to get a drink together,” Clint gave him a disbelieving look.

“You were the one that felt we needed to talk. Besides, I can still be an asshole and appreciate a good football game, can’t I?” Scott shrugged turning his focus to the hallway before them once again, “Plus, I owe you one for catching the guard just now while I was keeping an eye on the others.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Clint replied moving into step beside him, “and just for the record we aren’t bonding. This isn’t some means of overcoming that rift between us that started back in Canada. We aren’t good with one another—at all.”

“I didn’t anticipate we were,” Scott added, “Just trying to give you something to focus on after this is over.”

“Good. Just so we’re clear I still think you’re an asshole,” Clint spat out.

“Fair enough,” Scott decided with a shrug. He stepped forward listening to Clint grudgingly follow behind him.

As the seconds passed Scott realized that the silence between them returned even more suffocating than it had been a short while earlier. To Scott it initially felt like a small relief, keeping Clint from bringing him to distraction, but as time went on a part of Scott found that his mind began stewing over Clint’s words about Scott and Logan, unable to ignore the truth behind Hawkeye’s angry statement about Scott’s character. It wasn’t that Scott gave a damn what Hawkeye thought of him. He truly hadn’t cared if he was Mr. Popularity, nor did he question what the Avengers felt about his leadership skills. He was aware of the ire his methods and the means he’d come to in order to get things done had caused through the years. He was effective on his missions—more so than others and aware of the man he’d become, but when Clint had tossed Scott’s position in Logan’s life into the mix, it had caused him to take pause.

Deep down Scott knew that Clint’s anger shouldn’t have registered in his subconscious, but it hit home in ways that Scott hated to admit to. Normally he was unbreakable, but there was something about the combination of guilt and uneasiness over what had been taking place with Logan all those months ago in Boston during the aftermath that left Scott at a bit of a disadvantage on this particular mission he was on. Instead of keeping himself together, Scott knew he was slipping. He’d felt it from the moment he’d started following Logan again…long before he’d learned about the trials, but now with the painful reminder of his and Logan’s tortured past causing him to do all the things he’d encouraged Clint not to, Scott found that he couldn’t escape his thoughts. Clint’s words had served as a catalyst causing Scott to temporarily lose focus, falling from his unilateral thought process in order to return to that place in Boston back at the hotel when Logan had called him out on his cold behavior. The expression on Logan’s face when he’d been pleading for answers that Scott couldn’t give had damn near done him in, but he shut it off. He forced himself to focus on what was at hand, but now in the darkened hallway far from the man who’d staked a claim on his heart, Scott found himself returning to review in his mind their last few moments alone with one another leading up to their time at that damned Boston hotel where everything fell apart. It still stung in hearing Logan say what he did, but Scott knew full well he deserved it. Clint wasn’t wrong and Logan hadn’t been either.

 _“You’re a damned fool Summers!”_ Scott could almost hear Logan chastising him in the back of his mind taking him far from the mission when pieces of his time with Logan in Boston came rushing to the surface again.

_“Slim, I know that I said I would follow you to hell if you asked it of me, but I can’t keep watching you destroy yourself like this,” Logan’s pained voice broke through Scott’s thoughts pulling him further away from the mission with Logan standing before Scott. There was no mistake about the pain behind his eyes—no denying how difficult Logan’s admission had been when he and Scott had returned to their motel room after the nightmare of a mission that Charles had sent them on with one another, “I can’t sit back and watch you self-destruct.”_

_“Logan, I’m not…” Scott began to argue as the weight of Logan’s words weighed heavily upon him._

_“I’ve tolerated a lot of things through the years Slim, but I refuse to stand idle and watch you crumble to pieces,” Logan interrupted with an impassioned tone. He bridged the distance between them, keeping his eyes focused on Scott with an intensity that caused Scott to tense up fearing that Logan could see deep inside of him. His worries mounted when Logan stood a few inches before him filled with a wild intensity that Scott hadn’t ever witnessed before out of his teammate._

_“I can’t do this Slim,” Logan explained with a somber expression on his face. Reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face, Logan let out a tired, weary sigh undoubtedly the result of the years of frustration he’d endured, “I thought I could give you anything if you’d asked it of me, but I can’t give you this. I can’t stand back and watch you tear yourself apart in a futile attempt to destroy the man you are. You don’t deserve this. Neither one of us do.”_

_“This isn’t about what we deserve. It’s about…” Scott began desperately fighting to maintain control in their surroundings._

_“You are punishing yourself for wanting something more out of life,” Logan finished with such certainty. His eyes were penetrating Scott, reaching down deep to that place that Scott had kept hidden for so very long. However, in that moment, they threatened to tear Scott’s reality to pieces when Scott found himself standing on the threshold of letting go completely. Knowing what he stood to lose, he leaned into Logan’s touch, closing his eyes and savoring the warmth radiating in the gesture. It was far different than the things they’d endured over the last couple of weeks, but as Scott found himself thinking about the decision he had to make, he forced himself to pull away from Logan’s soft touch._

_“This isn’t about what I want. This is about seeing the mission through to the end and…” Scott answered stiffly, returning to the same stoic demeanor he carried with him during his missions._

_“If that’s the path you choose to take, then know you won’t do it with me,” Logan released Scott’s cheek opting instead to take a step back and place a painstaking distance between them, “I won’t watch you self-destruct in order to torture yourself for what you think you shouldn’t need in your life.”_

_“Logan,” Scott frowned when Logan turned his back to him._

_“When this mission is over, I’m leaving,” Logan’s muffled voice haunted Scott when he watched Logan walk away. Without any further argument Logan had moved into the bathroom, preparing to put the day and Scott behind him once and for all. It was in those few moments they spent apart that Scott had found the courage to face the ultimate test. It was in those dark thoughts that surrounded him that he found himself returning to the absurd request that Charles had made of him._

_“You need to convince Logan to stay with the team. Whatever it takes, you need to keep him with us…” Charles had drilled the thought into Scott’s head fueling him with just enough ammunition to give in to his mentor’s urgent request. It had tugged at Scott’s heart, bringing him to a place where he was caught up in obligation and desire, forced to face something he’d fought like hell to keep buried inside of him repressed for years. It was in that longing that Scott had worked to keep himself under control. He’d resisted temptation again and again fighting with all that he was to refrain from giving in to it, but now as he dutifully pulled his uniform off, peeling it away from his muscled contours, he found himself in a far different place than he’d been at the beginning of their mission. Now, armed with the weight of how his actions would define the course of the X-men from here on out, Scott stripped down to nothing, feeling the chill of the air conditioning sweep over him, but it was no matter. His blood had already gone cold long before he’d been naked. His mind was surrounded by turmoil and his thoughts were conflicted at best, but he’d known that one day things would come to this. He knew when Charles had made the request of him that there would be no turning back once Scott and Logan had reached the point of no return. There was only one solution to the problem at hand._

_Taking a step back, Scott sank down on the edge of the bed, sliding in closer to the rounded corner. The soft whirr of the air conditioning surrounded him, reminding him of just where they were in the run-down Boston motel room on a mission that was turning out to be anything, but simple in its execution. Now facing the loss of one of the most important members of his team, Scott found himself following Xavier’s direction down to the letter. Tipping his head down, he focused on his wedding ring thinking about what the band represented to him when the bathroom door creaked open again._

_Raising his chin up, Scott took in an uneasy breath fighting like hell to ignore the inner turmoil raging inside of him. Instead he leaned back on the bed, planting his palms firmly into the wrinkled comforter beneath him. He arched his back, puffing out his chest as Logan loosely held the towel that he’d brought out of the bathroom with him around his waist._

_“Slim, look about what I said before…” Logan’s tone softened when he turned towards Scott preparing to address him for the first time since his retreat. However, his eyes widened with surprise, unable to mask his shock as he was caught up in a moment of astonishment in discovering his field leader in the buff when Scott sat up straighter. He looked directly at Logan from behind his glasses, knowing full well the weight of the power he held over the gruff, enraged man before him._

_“We’re far from finished here Logan,” Scott’s voice was firm and authoritative. He patted the bed beside where he sat unabashedly naked awaiting Logan’s return. When it seemed the movement shocked Logan into silence, Scott brazenly parted his thighs, revealing his half hard arousal to Logan’s surprised eyes, “Get over here!”_

_“Slim I…” Logan swallowed down hard leaving no questions about Scott’s having captured his attention. He held his towel around his waist, but it was the way his chest heaved with interest that alerted Scott to the fact he’d hit the right mark in his companion. Without second guessing himself, Scott dropped his palm into his lap, curling his fingers around his length in a salacious, naughty movement._

_“I gave you an order Wolverine,” Scott’s voice was firm, never revealing the nervousness that carried over him when Logan watched him pleasuring himself. Instead of overthinking it, Scott licked his lips and arched his head back, keeping his eyes upon Logan when Logan stood motionless. Logan’s eyes were wide with lust and uncertainty, his damp hair pushed back away from his face, but with each movement Scott made with his fist, Logan’s eyes never strayed from the movement. Up and down, twisting ever so slightly, Logan’s gaze followed Scott’s every movement, his thoughts undoubtedly leading to a much darker direction when Scott released his cock, opting instead to nod down to his lap again, “Logan. Now.”_

_“Scott, I…” Logan swallowed down hard. He staggered forward, seemingly being guided by an invisible force pulling him in closer when Scott nodded to the floor at his feet._

_“On your knees Wolverine,” Scott’s voice commanded, revealing nothing about his thoughts when Logan complied to his demand. Unlike the great many times that Logan had argued with him on the field, this time Logan dutifully followed Scott’s command, dropping without hesitation to his knees at Scott’s feet. He sat down, pressing his thighs down upon his calf muscles when his chin arched upward. With a smirk, Scott leaned forward stroking the side of Logan’s face knowing full well that he’d managed to capture every bit of Logan’s attention, “Good boy.”_

_“Slim…” Logan licked his lips. His eyes were divided by temptation and desire, yet questioning Scott’s actions after everything they’d gone through over the last couple of days with one another._

_“What are you waiting for?” Scott questioned nodding to his lap once again, “I believe there’s something you’ve wanted for a very long-time Logan.”_

_“I already told you I’m out Slim,” Logan seemed to put up a momentary resistance. He did his best to ignore Scott’s nakedness before him, but the harder it seemed that he fought, the more the beast from within revealed itself bringing forth the man that Scott knew was his in every way imaginable if he’d truly wanted to have him._

_“Then why not take one last command before you go?” Scott wiggled his brow suggestively. He slid his fist up and over his distended flesh watching as Logan licked his lips urgently._

_With a wide smirk, Scott curled his finger of his free hand, alerting Logan to slide forward. Logan did as he was instructed with his mouth parting with anticipation when Scott moved in closer to the edge of the bed. He stroked himself once more before reaching out to touch the side of Logan’s face. Saying nothing, Scott pulled Logan in closer. He touched Logan’s cheek, silently tousling his damp, dark hair before his fingers clenched tightly at the back of Logan’s head. Without a word, he pulled Logan forward, forcing his movement when Scott’s left hand guided his tip to Logan’s bottom lip, slowly teasing over Logan’s flesh. The slow movement of Scott’s cock sliding over Logan’s mouth caused Logan to shiver with anticipation, to part his angry lips and invite Scott into the wild warmth of his mouth, pushing past their comfort zone with one another._

_With a shift of his hips and a jerk of his fingers now firmly entrenched in Logan’s hair, Scott pulled Logan forward allowing Logan the opportunity to dote on him—to lavish him without restraint now that Logan’s damp, sloppy kisses imprinted themselves over Scott’s thick, distended length. With each tantalizing lick and tease Logan offered him, Scott gripped on the back of Logan’s head tighter, pulling him down further, coaxing his teammate to continue, to take all Scott had to offer him when a low, rumble of a moan escaped through Scott’s pinched lips. It caused Scott to shudder, caught up in the weight of desire, in the need that Logan carried with him when Scott’s gaze returned to the wedding band on his finger serving as a reminder of the promises that he’d made in the life he’d once sworn was everything to him._

_“Slim?” Logan’s voice questioned as he eased back stealing with the moment the warmth of his lips surrounding Scott’s betraying body. Reaching out, Scott stroked the side of Logan’s face feeling the weight of Logan’s unspoken questions circling around in his brain. They threatened to tear them to pieces—to destroy everything that the two of them had worked so hard to build between them through the years, but as Scott found himself on the edge preparing to lose a great many things that he’d fought like hell to keep together through the years, he found himself pushing his own concerns aside in favor of doing what was expected of him. Tracing his fingers over the side of Logan’s face, he found himself memorizing the rough stubble on his cheek and taking in the way that Logan’s chest shivered with his exhale revealing just how much this next order would mean to him should Scott be tempted to give it to him. If Scott would simply ask the question, then Logan would give his everything to Scott’s command losing himself if necessary, to give Scott what he desired. It was that thought alone that caused Scott to shudder and balk away from Logan momentarily knowing full well that he would forever hate himself for what he must do to appease the beast burning inside of Logan that had been ready to run. Tonight, would define the direction of their relationship. It would change everything one way or the other and it was up to Scott to take control of the narrative._

_“I didn’t say you were finished Wolverine,” Scott’s voice came out cold and commanding even though his heart was pounding in his chest. His mind was racing with all the things they could’ve been—all the ways they could’ve been there for one another, but now armed with a heavy sense of obligation and duty, he pushed the part of himself that longed for something deeper aside in favor of giving Charles everything he’d ever hoped for in having Logan on his team, “Now did I?”_

_“No sir,” Logan swallowed down his eagerness, refusing to offer up any kind of fight when he pushed up on his knees all over again, perched over Scott’s thighs. His thick fingers eased over Scott’s bare skin causing goosebumps to form upon his skin, to reveal just how much Scott had longed for his companion’s touch but wanting and needing it was secondary to what was expected from him. Closing his eyes, Scott felt the cold metal of his ring over his finger knowing only too well that it was devoid of any real purpose when Logan’s lips surrounded him once again taking away the life that Scott had made for himself with every teasing press and kiss Logan made over his excited flesh. With Scott’s hands firmly entrenched in Logan’s hair, he gave himself to his orders knowing full well that from that night on they both would be forever changed._

With a blink of an eye, Scott felt his memory hit him hard taking him from his focus to the aftermath where he could remember Logan’s rage—where he could feel the raw hatred in Logan’s voice when Logan had realized just how horrible Scott was. It was a turning point for them, but now as Scott stood with Hawkeye preparing to enter into a mission where his focus was imperative, he’d found that for the first time in his life he’d slipped out of his duty allowing emotion to outweigh obligation.

“If we do get drinks later, you’re buying,” Clint’s voice broke the uneasy silence between them causing Scott to take pause in his self-destructive thoughts.

“What?” Scott asked attempting to push down the nagging voice in the back of his head. It was there chastising him for his cold behavior, but he knew full well that would be the key to his undoing if he didn’t get his thoughts together. Now wasn’t about dwelling on the past, but rather moving forward on his tense mission with a less than certain soldier at his side.

“If we get out of this in one piece…” Clint cleared his throat again as if he was struggling with his words, “you’re buying drinks. It’s the least you can do after all the bullshit you put us through in this.”

“Fair enough,” Scott agreed recognizing the sign on the hallway before them. It was something he’d distinctly remembered from Maria’s blueprints back in the hotel room. For a moment, Scott stopped and listened making sure that things were clear before they moved forward toward their destination.

“Good. I mean just I just thought I would throw it out there because I’m not lying when I say that I don’t like you. I really don’t like you, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t recognize that Hill must believe in you if she thought it wise to put you in charge of this,” Clint mouthed leaning in closer to Scott, “I’m not so convinced of your merit given that the last time you and I were on a mission together it fell to shit.”

“You really aren’t going to let this go right now, are you?” Scott frowned feeling his patience wearing thin with his companion working to steal Scott’s focus once again.

“I can’t help that it’s on my mind right now,” Clint revealed disapprovingly, “Those guys outside were proof that…”

“We accomplished our goal. At the end of the day we saved lives Hawkeye,” Scott stated in a cool, distanced tone as he fought to bury the damning thoughts that had overtaken him moments earlier, “I realize that you may have some hang ups about what happened in Canada, but we are here now doing what we can to push through on this latest endeavor. Dwelling on it now won’t help our efficiency or success in this particular matter if we don’t get back on track.”

“Right,” Clint grumbled shaking his head and letting out a long, frustrated sigh, “I get that a part of you thinks that you are above it all.”

“I never said that,” Scott clarified.

“You don’t have to. I can see in that smugness that you carry with you that…”

“What do we need to do to get this over with?” Scott sighed turning around to face him again when his own distracted thoughts had caused Scott to break into a momentary frustration, “Does slinging insults at me make this any easier for you? Do you need to punch me in the face to feel better about where we are right now? Would hitting me help you deal with whatever is bothering you?”

“Now that you mention it the idea of throat punching you doesn’t exactly sound like a bad one considering that…” Clint divulged with a scowl as Scott found himself wondering if the feel of Clint’s fist in his face would cause Scott to return to his own practical focus again.

“Would it help you focus because if that’s what it is going to take,” Scott held his arms out at his sides offering himself up to Clint as open territory, “just get it over with so we can get back on track. Do what you think you need to do.”

“Nah,” Clint shook his head and laughed outwardly, “That’s too easy for you. It wouldn’t solve anything.”

“Neither is this,” Scott turned his back to Clint again preparing to attempt to salvage their increasingly difficult mission with one another.

“You know,” Clint called out to him when Scott took a few steps away from him, “Maria told me about what happened at the club. Don’t think for a second that I don’t realize that we’re only here because you fucked up. I know full well that you decided to make up your own rules as you went and…”

“What?” Scott stood up straighter. He turned around to face Clint with a pinched scowl, “What is it that you feel you have to get off your chest right at this particular moment instead of doing what we were sent here to do? What is more important than us finishing this and getting out of here in one piece?”

“Nothing,” Clint huffed clenching his fingers into fists at his side, “It’s just…”

“What?” Scott questioned tilting his head to the side and scrutinizing his companion in the darkened hallway, “If you have something to say, why don’t you just get it out in the open so we can move past it and you can get back to doing your job?”

“Well, it’s just that…” Clint stopped himself clearly holding back on his thoughts again.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Clint replied petulantly.

“Good, then how about we stop talking about it and try to stay focused?” Scott suggested redirecting his thoughts to the corner of the hallway once again, “Do you think you can do that?”

“Do you?” Clint questioned stubbornly when Scott found himself asking the same question.

“What do you think?” Scott muttered taking a step forward through the opening where the hallways converged. Without awaiting Clint’s response, Scott pushed forward keeping taking the sharp left up ahead as the blueprints had instructed. With slow, tentative movements they continued to push further going deeper into the darkened, metallic world that Markus’s fortress provided them until finally Scott found himself at another turn remembering the layout before him, “We’re really almost there.”

“Good,” Clint remained close to Scott keeping his eyes on the darkened hallway ahead of him, “but at the same time don’t you find this a bit…strange?”

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned scanning the hallway for any others before pushing forward towards their goal.

“The darkness,” Clint clarified with a frown, “Downstairs when we first snuck into this place it was full of life. It was open with those oversized windows and lots of lighting, but here we don’t get any of that. This feels claustrophobic and vacant in ways that you wouldn’t think even at this time of night would be. The fact that the lights are off and…”

“This part of the building is under construction. That was why this entry was the best access option we had for coming in here,” Scott replied noting the darkened hallway. Although it made sense not to use the electricity in a part of the building that wasn’t being used, there was something about the dim path that he was certain would set most on edge. However, in thinking about his own experiences, Scott realized that empty hallways always hadn’t meant trouble. In some cases, those hidden places devoid of any sign of life were things that he’d found to be calming. The darkness had provided him ample opportunity to stay focused on their data extraction away from any overzealous guards or bystanders who could prove to be more of a hassle than a help on their way through the building.

“Even so don’t you think that we should just…?” Clint whispered when the sound of footsteps in the distance caused the both to take pause.

Scott held his hand up in the air, waiting it out and coaxing Clint to lean back against the wall in order to slide over to the open doorway they’d just walked past. When the footsteps began to grow nearer, Scott stepped back into the room taking his time to move out of sight at one side of the door, while Clint was at the other side behind the door taking in the sound of the heavy steps approaching. They indicated that more than one person was coming closer when the sound of muffled voices caused Scott to stand up straighter against the wall he was leaning on. Carefully, Scott made a slow movement towards closing the door without making too much noise. Holding his breath, he waited before gently coaxing it to an almost close with the sound from the hallway filtering into the room through the small crack in the door’s opening.

“They should be making their way down here any time now. The boss doesn’t want us to underestimate them,” a gruff voice explained causing Scott’s skin to bristle with recollection. Closing his eyes, he could picture the man’s face as his voice painted the portrait Scott had attempted to lock out of his mind. The sound of his voice caused Scott to involuntarily shudder when Scott found himself caught up in his last encounter with the man on the other side of the door.

 _“You aren’t leaving this place ever again Cyclops,”_ the man had once taunted threatening to rip Scott to pieces in those dark moments Scott had found himself in over his head and cut off from his team. Even now he could take in the scent of blood and death that he’d associated with the man in the hallway. It was something that he imagined would haunt his dreams for years beyond the mission, but instead of dwelling on his own fate, Scott had been more concerned about the man’s impact upon Logan at the time. Reopening his eyes Scott looked to Clint realizing that perhaps Logan wasn’t the only one he should have been concerned about all those months ago when another voice spoke up catching Scott off guard.

“And you say Summers is with him?” the familiar voice questioned when Scott immediately recognized the sound that he hadn’t heard in quite some time. Despite the cool and even voice that carried the words, Scott knew full well that there was nothing calm and collected about the dark, monstrous man who’d been speaking up.

“That’s right,” the first man further explained with an amused chortle, “and given the bounty on his head, I’m going to enjoy taking him down once and for all. I might not even bother to collect the money until I’ve had a pound or two of his flesh.”

“For our messiah,” the second man encouraged the first as there was a sound that Scott suspected was fist bumping as the security officers passed the room that Scott and Clint had slipped into undetected.

Now as they stood in the darkness, Scott found himself thinking about his earlier conversation with Clint remembering pieces of a mission that Scott hadn’t dared to speak of since their return. At the time he’d done his best to block it out—to forget about the things that he and Logan had endured in their time off the grid, but now with memories of the men that had tortured all of them in the present, Scott found himself shaken in ways he hadn’t expected. Closing his eyes, Scott could almost feel the warmth of blood trickling down his chest and the heat that had rose from within, searing at his flesh and poking at his body in ways that he hadn’t anticipated he would recover from after he’d begged to switch places with a bound and shattered Logan. He could hear the taunting laughter, could feel the way that he’d damn near fell to pieces with Logan’s broken body mutilated and put on display before him serving as a reminder of his purpose. There in those moments of semi-consciousness back in Canada, Scott could remember that look in Logan’s eyes—so lost and ready to throw in the towel after he’d been put through hell in ways that Scott knew he’d never been meant for. In those fateful moments Scott would’ve given anything to save Logan and, in some ways, he had, but like now then hadn’t been about him. They’d all suffered for it, but now with the men who had been responsible for the atrocities they’d faced standing a few feet away laughing and boasting about their plans for a future encounter with Scott, he found himself filled with the one thing that mission had denied him in his quest to save Logan—rage.

“He’ll be a perfect canvas for me,” the first guard chortled with laughter, “but not as much as that animal he’d come looking for. The things that I did to him…god, it makes me excited even now to think about how much fun I had with Howlett. The way that he put up a fight after we outed him as a traitor, watching as he finally surrendered to his fate…”

“I never imagined we’d get another shot at finishing this,” the second guard mused with delight, “but now that they’re here it feels like we’ll finally be able to give them what they truly deserve. I heard a rumor that pretty one the boss liked might be with him too, and I can’t wait to get my hands on him. After what he did to her, I’m going to make him wish he’d died that day at the compound. They’ll wish we’d killed them when we offered up the chance.”

“I’m banking on that,” the first guard laughed as the sounds of their muted voices indicated that they were moving further away from the room. With their departure it offered up an opening to the situation, leaving Scott to try to remember their purpose in being at the warehouse. Unable to stay focused on the mission at hand, Scott turned to his partner discovering that Clint was involuntarily shaking as he was pressed against the adjacent wall.

“Clint?” Scott whispered his voice, hoping to pull him from his fears. When the question prompted nothing out of Clint, Scott raised his voice ever so slightly and waved his hand in the air, “Barton!”

Still nothing as Scott frowned knowing only too well that their mission had suddenly gotten a whole lot more complicated in the last few seconds.

“Hawkeye!” Scott ordered snapping his fingers and causing Clint to snap out of the terrified paralyzed daze he’d found himself in, “You need to focus!”

“I told you that they would recognize me. I said that…” Clint’s voice trembled with recall when Scott found himself wondering if it was just by coincidence that Markus had hired those who had a price on Scott’s head to secure the building or if perhaps this was part of the game that Markus had initiated in inviting Scott to try to infiltrate his compound without weighing out his options and the threat that Markus had posed to him.

“You need to get out of here,” Scott ordered realizing that shaken Clint was of no use to him on the extraction.

“What?” Clint blinked back at him.

“You’re right about what you said before. Something is off in all of this. You need to get back to Maria and tell her that I’ve got this covered. Tell her that I’ll get the information and get out of here with what she needs,” Scott continued hoping to pull Clint from the daze he was in. “You don’t need to be here. You can just leave now and…”

“I…I can’t…”

“Yes,” Scott frowned knowing full well that Markus had undoubtedly set up a trap for them. It was now clear that Markus had been expecting them—had been awaiting Scott’s arrival in order to spring a trap upon them when they’d least expected it only thanks to his overeager guards Scott had pieced it together faster than he suspected Markus had hoped for, “you can.”

“No,” Clint shook his head adamantly, “I really can’t. I’m here because…”

“I know why you’re here,” Scott finally blurted out behind gritted teeth. He took in a slow, uneasy breath finding himself caught up in a moment of conscience in remembering all that Clint stood to lose by being in the situation that was clearly stacked against him, “and I’m also aware of why you can’t stay. You need to get out of here and be safe.”

“Look…”

“Your family needs you,” Scott refused to let Clint argue with him, “I promise you that when I’m finished in here, you can go back home again. This won’t be a problem any longer. You can put all of this behind you and…”

“It’s not that easy Scott,” Clint’s voice was strained, revealing a tension that carried up over his neck causing his pulse to thump as a vein in his forehead started to bulge.

“I don’t expect it to be, but I couldn’t live with myself in knowing that I did this to you again,” Scott softened his tone when another thought carried over him, “I never apologized for what happened in Canada. You were right to hate me for the way things played out, but at the same time I’m not going to let you stand here and experience it all over again. You don’t deserve any of this no matter how dedicated to your job you were. You never did.”

“I…”

“Your family needs you,” Scott added thinking momentarily about what he had been avoiding at home in talking with Jean. For an instant her smiling face filled his mind, bringing him back to a time when his biggest concern was working up the courage to express how he felt for her. He could still recall how nervous he’d been in attempting to put to words how he’d felt—how he’d loved her so much with such blind faith, but now those days were long gone. Those times where he’d lived as that shy boy had been replaced by a man whose mind had been set solely on the mission. He’d failed her in ways that he would never be able to make up for just like he had with Logan. He was aware of that now and with Markus testing him once again, he knew that there would be no turning back. There would be no resolution to his troubled marriage or to the tortured ways he and Logan couldn’t find happiness with one another. He’d pushed it all down too deep to confront it and now there was no room for sentimentality. There was just a time to step up and do the right thing at long last, “You need to go back to them. You need to do what it takes to show them that you never gave up hope on the idea of being with them. Let them know that what happened didn’t break you.”

“It’s not that simple,” Clint argued when a slow puff of conflicted breath fell from his lips.

“You don’t have to make it that damned complicated either. You have the whole world at your feet Clint. You have everything a man could dream of having in his life,” Scott moved in closer to him knowing full well of what they stood to lose if emotion took over logic on their mission, “I know that you have people who love you—who think you are worth fighting for, which is why for today you need to back down. You need to call it quits and leave this to me. I know what I’m doing and…”

“I can’t just walk away. Not when…” Clint seemed to snap out of his panic long enough to return to the goal of the mission Maria had sent him on.

“Now isn’t the time for being stubborn or acting brave,” Scott interrupted realizing that they were wasting time with one another, “I know why we are here and what I must do. I’m clear on my objective.”

“This isn’t just an objective for me. This is personal and…”

“Personal is all the reason why you need to take a step back,” Scott added with a shake of his head, “Markus is after me—not you. You can still walk away and…”

“I can’t leave here without knowing that…” Clint’s eyes traveled beyond Scott to the darkened hallway outside of the room they were in.

“Right now, as it stands, we aren’t going to make any ground with you holding me back. As long as you keep returning to that place where they had bested us, then we aren’t going to be able to push forward towards our goal,” Scott continued to explain, “This mission will be a disaster as long as we are still stuck in that place where they had control over us. Once we lose ourselves to that memory, then everything else becomes irrelevant. Our time and energy wasted because we aren’t going to be able to do what we were told to on our way inside…”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Clint sighed throwing his hands up in the air. He started to pace around the dark room, digging his heels in the carpet before turning to Scott once again, “Don’t you think I wish I could do just that? Don’t you realize that I would give anything to never have these thoughts burning into my brain—consuming all that I am and taking me from truly living to that place where everything was so fucked up that…”

“That’s why you need to leave Clint. You can’t be here like this,” Scott hesitated watching Clint move as a flash of conflict carried over Clint’s tense features, “You are a liability.”

“And you aren’t? They are out there wanting to string you up right now.”

“So…let them try. I can take it,” Scott offered up puffing his chest out as he thought about the things that he imagined Markus was planning for him, “Let me worry about that and you…”

“I can’t just walk away. There are things involved that…” Clint began again behind a crease in his brow.

“I know what’s at stake here. I’m aware of what Maria wants us to find on the inside,” Scott spoke up in clear, annunciated words, “I know what she needs out of this.”

“What?”

“I can do this, but I have to do it my way. We aren’t going to find her as long as you let your fears be your guide, which is why you have to leave,” Scott blurted out catching Clint off guard with his declaration.

“What did you just say?” Clint blinked back at him.

“I know why we are here…why we are really going through all of this to begin with. It’s not about the trials or the Euphoria or even about saving Logan. Sure, that’s a part of it, but I understand why the data itself is so important,” Scott informed him with an uneasy breath when he fought to keep his thoughts under wraps, “Maria told me everything about what is guiding the both of you on this mission. She was reluctant to do so at first, but after a little prompting over her giving me the run around she disclosed the information to me that I needed for today and…”

“She told you about…” Clint’s face drained of all color as Scott nodded.

“Back at the hotel she pulled me aside to talk. I wasn’t going to say anything because it didn’t matter when we arrived, but it seems important to the mission at hand,” Scott whispered through the darkness, “I know why you both are so invested in this.”

“You mean she said that…” Clint trailed off at a loss.

Scott nodded, “I know how important finding her is to the both of you and what we need to do in order to make that happen. You need to get out of here and be the man that the world expects you to be. You have people who need you to be alive long after this mission.”

“I can’t just…” Clint seemed shaken by Scott’s words, but at the same time it appeared that the thought of what was driving him on forced him to face his fears, “I can’t abandon this mission knowing how much is riding on it.”

“You are of no use to me if you can’t look beyond them being here to distract us,” Scott explained in a pinched hiss, “Right now they know that I’m here. They are going to be seeking me out, but with you, well, they don’t realize who you are just yet. They only assume that you are with me, but there isn’t any clear confirmation of that. They aren’t going to take this out on you when…”

“We both know that I’ve got a price on my head as well. After the way that I did what I had to in order to take their leader down,” Clint shuddered with recall, “After the things that she did…”

“You were justified in your actions. You got the job done and we survived. That is what matters,” Scott reminded him in a cool, even tone, “You were able to walk away and live another day untouched by her madness. You were able to go home and…”

“…leave a part of me behind in that compound,” Clint finished somberly.

“Be that as it may what is left of you is standing here right now on the verge of finding something very important to you,” Scott reminded him simply, “You have the opportunity to take back something that was stolen from you, but if you allow your fears to take you down a dark road…”

“…then I’ll never be able to have it again,” Clint finished knowingly, “You’re right. I need to get my head in the game.”

“If you can’t do that, then there’s no shame in walking away. You can leave this place knowing that you did the best you could with what you had to work with. I won’t let either one of you down and…”

“No,” Clint shook his head adamantly, “I need to be here. I need to do this.”

“We can’t do this with divided thoughts,” Scott explained looking around the darkened room that they were in with one another, “If we don’t play this the right way, then we’re bound to fail.”

“I don’t want to fail,” Clint insisted with a newfound determination in his tone, “I can’t fail.”

“Then we won’t,” Scott promised clearing his throat and moving across the room to take in their surroundings when he looked up to the corner of the room spotting the security camera overhead. It was there blinking in the corner of the room indicating that soon he and Clint would no longer be alone in their uneasy contemplations, “but if we are going to do this, then you’re going to have to do exactly as I say. You can’t question an order and…”

“I won’t,” Clint promised when Scott moved over to look at one of the computers on the tabletop. Beside it was a telephone and for a brief, fleeting moment, he found himself hoping that it would be enough, but as he picked it up from the base, only to hear nothingness, he found his fears were confirmed.

“It’s dead,” Scott replied turning around to face Clint once again, “which means I’m going to need you to get the hell out of here and get back to Logan and Maria.”

“What?” Clint questioned.

“They have no idea what’s inside of here since we have no way of communicating with them. Our devices stopped working the moment we entered the building and the most important thing is keeping them out of it,” Scott softened his tone knowing full well of the sacrifice he was about to make for the mission, “You need to go to them and get them out of here. If Markus or any of his guards realizes that they are waiting out there for us…if they discover that Logan is here again or that Maria is with them…”

“They’ll kill them,” Clint’s face drained of all color, “Damn it. They are sitting ducks on the rooftop over there.”

“Logan’s healing powers are failing,” Scott revealed unable to hold back on his own fears, “The trials have done something to him, and I have to stay to find a cure as well. I need to help him and…”

“I need to go,” Clint nodded in response, “I hate to leave you like this, but…”

“Save them and that’s all the help I need,” Scott softened his tone when he fought to ignore the blinking light on the security camera overhead, “Get them out of here and if I don’t come back make sure that the people you work for help Logan. See to it that he gets whatever he needs to beat this.”

“But…” Clint frowned.

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Scott turned to look at the computer once again. Reaching out to it, he pushed on the power button knowing full well the door he was opening to danger in his life, “Tell him that I don’t regret what happened before. Tell him that it was always me—that I just wasn’t strong enough to see things through…”

“Scott…” Clint began when Scott looked over his shoulder at the Avenger once again.

“Go now! Before they do another round here. As it stands, they are watching us right now and we are running out of time. You can take the hallway to the right and go out the door near the window at the end of the hallway. It will lead you down the fire escape,” Scott answered in a firm, determined tone before nodding towards the security camera that was undoubtedly outing them in their positioning in the room, “Take the stairs all the way to the ground floor and then double back to the van. Once you get inside you drive it out of here and don’t look back. If they try to stop you, go through them. Do you understand?”

“But…”

“Do you understand?” Scott’s voice was stern.

“Clearly,” Clint nodded throwing out one last look before moving to the door. He hesitated long enough to speak up in a poignant tone, “Good luck Scott.”

“Tell Maria I’ll make sure you find her again,” Scott answered refusing to look at his companion when the computer screen before him lit up revealing the blue screen before him. He glanced at the camera again knowing exactly who was watching them on the other side of the video feed, “I won’t let you down this time.”

“I believe you,” Clint nodded exchanging a moment of uneasy silence with Scott before turning to leave Scott alone on his mission.

“And Clint?” Scott called out to him once again causing Clint to take pause in his retreat.

“Yes?”

“Whatever happens next, make sure that Logan doesn’t come in here after me,” Scott’s voice was firm, revealing nothing of his thoughts when he watched Logan’s friend preparing to walk out on their mission and leave Scott on his own to deal with Markus and his games once and for all, “No matter what he wants to do, tell him that he can’t come in here. Keep him out no matter how hard he fights you on it. Tell him it’s an order. I want him to stay out of here. Can you do that for me?”

“I will,” Clint answered exiting the room and leaving Scott to the inevitable fight that was laid out before him. Now wasn’t about his old objective—it was about meeting Markus head on as he clicked on the icon before him opening a screen that would undoubtedly bring him closer to what he was looking for.

“Here goes nothing,” Scott mouthed to himself watching as the application he opened revealed a blank screen and a white blinking curser on a black background. The program was an old one, clearly outdated by time and circumstance, but it was in the more primitive computer chat app that Scott realized he would get his message across. He looked up at the camera again, focusing on the blinking light and knowing that he’d just started something there would be no turning back from. Clicking at the keyboard he found himself typing a message to his host letting him know full well that his scare tactics didn’t work.

**IS THAT THE BEST YOU’VE GOT?**

Scott hit the enter key and waited for a response knowing full well that he wouldn’t be alone in his writing. For a second, he half expected one of the guards to return—to seek him out, but when he remained alone in the dark room with only the blinking red light to indicate that he wasn’t alone, he watched as a new message appeared on the screen before him in big, bold letters.

**I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED YET!!!!**

The words blinked on the screen causing Scott to realize he’d finally contacted the one man that they’d been fighting to track down. As he prepared to respond he noticed that there was typing on the other end of the chat screen indicating that Markus wasn’t finished with him.

**YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU AGENT SUMMERS…**

**OR SHOULD WE SKIP THE FAKE FORMALITIES AT THIS POINT…CYCLOPS…**

“Bingo,” Scott smiled knowing full well that he’d finally made the contact he needed. Reaching for the keyboard once again, he found himself ready to face the threat that had been posed upon him head on.

**I’M READY FOR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DISH OUT FOR ME, MARKUS…**

Scott waited to watch the blinking curser before him on the screen and the flickering light at the bottom of the chat indicating that Markus was responding.

**HOW CAN YOU BE SO CONVINCED THAT LIGHTNING CAN STRIKE TWICE AGAINST SUCH A WORTHY OPPONENT?**

**THEY DAMN NEAR DESTROYED YOU BACK IN CANADA, NOW DIDN’T THEY?**

Scott paused wondering if that was truly the case given all they’d lost at the time, but instead of feeding into his fears, he simply held his head high as Scott typed in his final message to the monster set on taunting him.

**ALMOST DOESN’T COUNT…**

Scott paused preparing to walk away from the keyboard when another thought overtook him, and he started to type once again.

**JUST KNOW MARKUS WHEN I’M FINISHED WITH THEM, I’M COMING FOR YOU.**

With that Scott stood upright. He turned around to glare at the blinking video camera knowing only too well that Markus was watching his every move. With a neutral expression on his face, Scott leaned forward reaching for the plug on the wall that had offered up power to the computer he’d made a connection with Markus on. He could see the blinking curser, could tell that Markus was ready to offer up a backlash, but before he could follow through Scott yanked the plug out of the wall causing the computer to die instantaneously. In doing so he’d refused Markus the opportunity to intimidate or taunt him any further. Instead Scott held all the power as he leaned back against the top of the desk fully prepared to finish what he’d started months ago back in Canada without being weighed down by the same mistakes he’d made before. This time he’d make for damn certain that it would truly be over.


	16. Affliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's quest to rescue Scott and Clint leads him down a dark path relearning things that his other self fought to forget now that Scott's life is on the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is filled with very graphic depictions of violence, so anyone triggered by that please feel free to skip the chapter if need be. I will put a brief summary of the chapter in a note at the end if readers find it to be too much. This is a dark chapter and I just want to warn everyone up front that there are some very violent, possibly triggering scenes involved in this chapter.

**Affliction:** _something that causes pain or suffering._

Overwhelming primitive fear swept over Logan’s senses as he climbed over the back wall of the compound doing his best to sneak in undetected. The slapping sound of the soles on Logan’s boots filled the night air around him, bringing a loud, clanging, smacking sound with each movement he made. Stealthy he was not, but for the time being that was less than relevant to him now that he’d found himself caught up in a string of disturbing thoughts he was certain once belonged to the other him in this new world he’d found himself in. With a quick pull and a shuffle of his feet, he found himself pushing up over the hurdle the solid formation had been. Within seconds he was given a greater view of the compound Markus had created to house his secrets. From where he was perched over the high metallic wall, he knew full well that Hill’s gun was aimed just beyond him preparing to do what was needed to assist him in his mission to rescue their coworkers. Now armed with a hazy memory of madness and a deep, shuddering set of impulses screaming out for him to go into fight or flight mode, Logan couldn’t help, but question his actions. Blinking a couple of times, he took in the scent of cigarettes and motor oil in the air around him. It was combined with bird shit and various other scents he’d picked up on the roof with Maria only unlike the false safety net on the adjoining rooftop, Logan knew full well that this place was anything, but safe. This warehouse compound housed men capable of dangerous behavior—of dark acts that Logan himself was trying to gain a grasp upon.

Taking in a breath, Logan closed his eyes sitting perfectly still from his position on top of the wall listening to the chirping crickets in the distance. Beneath the night sky came a chill in the air that cut him down to his adamantium laced bones leaving him less than settled about his place in this dark world. With a shuddering exhale he reopened his eyes watching the vapor cloud that formed beyond his lips serving to out his location to any potential guards on the perimeter. It seemed to follow that effect when the sound of footsteps echoed from down below his positioning. With careful movements, he pushed over the side of the wall dropping down into a half empty dumpster beneath him. With a sharp twist of his body, he found himself plopping down with a slam into the pile of black and silver industrial sized bags that he soon discovered much to his relief were filled with shredded documents. If he’d been a normal weight, the papers might’ve buffered his fall, but his heavy frame didn’t lend to anonymity in his fall causing the distant footsteps to come closer at a rapidly increasing pace.

“Shit,” Logan cursed straining to pull himself up to an upright position. His body creaked and ached with the movement leaving him to question just what kind of effects he was truly feeling over his time in the Euphoria trials. Granted he’d started to discover his burns were slowly healing, but his lungs were still surrounded by the smoke that had crept in over him earlier in the day. It seemed that he was moving at a much slower pace, but that was no matter now that Scott’s life was on the line.

Turning his attention to his right hand, Logan noticed he’d sliced the top of his palm open in the drop causing dark blood droplets to smear over the silver bags beneath him when he pushed himself up off his ass. Reaching for the top of the dumpster, he sucked in an aching breath, struggling to ignore the creaking of his spine when he attempted to pull himself up, but he’d underestimated his power when the metal dumpster in his fingers peeled like a banana, twisting and bunching in his fists when he lowered his hands. With the movement, he’d effectively torn off the side of the dumpster dropping it down to the ground as a man with a machine gun stood on the other side of the dumpster taking in Logan’s arrival with wide eyes.

“Well now, what do we have here?” the man questioned with an amused snarl. He raised his gun in the air attempting to intimidate Logan, when it became painfully clear that the man before him was not one of the tattooed faces that had haunted Logan’s caged memory. Instead he found himself face to face with a portly looking human that was no more intimidating than a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. There was nothing recognizable about him when Logan watched the man wave his gun around him in the air, “Put your hands up!”

“I’d rather not,” Logan answered simply bringing his leg out from within the dumpster to position his foot on the dark concrete beneath him. He stood up straighter, cracking his neck to realign his spine before he carefully balanced his weight. He rolled his shoulders back watching the man’s finger over the trigger in a weak attempt at threatening Logan, “and I think you don’t want to do that either, now do you?”

“Look, I don’t know who you are, but…you…” the guard stuttered at the sight of Logan before him.

“No,” Logan agreed lowering his arms down at his sides when the faint sound of dripping blood over his palm hit the pavement just beyond his feet. He could smell the guard’s fear, could see the man was sweating as his nerves were getting the best of him. Granted he held onto his gun, gripping it like a lifeline, but Logan had stunned him into a state of shock, “you don’t know who I am nor do you know anything about what I am, which is why you should probably just let me pass.”

“That’s not going to happen. You don’t belong here,” the man laughed raising his gun higher to position it at Logan’s head despite the trembling of his hands over the trigger, “I’m not going to ask you again to put your hands up.”

“And I’m not going to change my mind,” Logan decided with a snarl. He curled his fingers into fists preparing to unsheathe his claws when a quick whirring sound pushed through the night past Logan’s right ear, sliding with the wind directly at the security officer. A second later the man dropped down like a ton of bricks, crumbling to the ground knocked out and unconscious as Logan turned to look over towards the high wall that he’d scaled to enter the compound.

“You need to keep moving,” Maria’s voice instructed through the earpiece in Logan’s ear. Reaching up to touch the tiny, device he’d grudgingly accepted in his retreat from the rooftop, he let out a snarl, “We don’t have any time for distractions.”

“I had it covered,” Logan argued with her. He looked to the unconscious man before him. The gun he’d wielded was discarded at his side as there was now a tiny dartlike metallic object hanging out over the side of his neck indicating that Maria had shot him with a stun dart. Frowning Logan prepared to argue his case when Maria’s stern voice beckoned him once again.

“We agreed to as little bloodshed as possible,” she cautioned reminding him of his promise to enter the compound undetected if that was still an option for them, “You need to find them and get them out of there as quickly and as efficiently as possible.”

“Fine,” Logan grumbled preparing to move past the fallen guard into the building to seek out Scott and Clint before Maria made a disapproving sound in his earpiece.

“The guard,” she cleared her throat when Logan looked down to the concrete before him.

“What about him?” Logan stopped moving long enough to turn around and look to the wall behind him again knowing full well her eyes were on him. He could almost imagine the scowl on her face as he found himself focused on finding Scott and getting him out of the warehouse, “It isn’t my problem. You took care of it and…”

“We can’t just leave him on display like a calling card. Put him in the dumpster,” she ordered with a pinched hiss in his ear, “We don’t need him being there tipping everyone else off to your arrival.”

“Look Hill I…”

“Logan, just do it,” her words were sharp and annunciated indicating that she meant business.

“Fine,” Logan grudgingly responded to her order. He walked over to the fallen guard, grudgingly picking him up and turning around to toss him haphazardly into the damaged dumpster, “but this would’ve been so much easier if we would’ve just done things my way.”

“Your way would have all of security come crashing down upon you at once and even though you think you are invincible, we all know that you aren’t,” her words were dripping with the not so veiled annoyance that she often carried with her in their dealings with one another.

“Yeah, well it would’ve made this go by a bit faster,” Logan scoffed throwing the man into the middle of the trash bags that had buffered Logan’s fall. With the toss, Logan watched the man land on his side with a grunt indicating that Logan’s toss had been a little harder than anticipated. Still the man was unconscious as Logan focused on the bent side of the dumpster. With an agitated sigh, he reached for the metal he’d crunched up all the while doing his best to pull it up high enough to camouflage his obvious destruction. Once he was satisfied that the damage would go unnoticed, he turned to look at the building once again.

“Don’t forget the gun,” Maria ordered when Logan let out an impatient sigh.

“We’re wasting time,” he grumbled bending down and picking up the machine gun the man had wielded. With a scowl he snapped it over his thigh effectively breaking it in half before tossing it into the dumpster beside the unconscious guard, “Anything else your highness?”

“Don’t be a smart ass,” Maria snapped with patience running thin.

“Just staying the obvious here,” Logan mouthed looking around the area that surrounded him searching for any other sign of life.

Not far from where he stood, he could see Clint’s van near the back entrance, parked to the side just out of the view of security cameras as they’d talked about back at the hotel room when they’d gone over Maria’s plans. Clint had been armed with a scrambling device that in theory would work on the cameras outside of the building, but the network within the walls of the compound was another matter. Scott had been uneasy about that, but Maria had assured him that once they were inside the warehouse they could find a way to cut all monitoring if they went directly to the room where she believed the network information was being housed. Truthfully the longer they talked, the less Logan had found himself listening at the hotel when he’d found himself simply wishing that he could throw Scott over his shoulder and take him far away from the situation Logan had unknowingly pulled them into.

“Make sure you come back to me,” Logan could almost hear himself cautioning Scott when they had been forced to separate. As he’d held onto Scott’s arm everything inside of him refused to let go, but knowing that the mission was first and foremost in his lover’s mind, Logan had grudgingly stepped aside and willingly allowed Scott to throw himself into danger without thought to consequence. That thought left Logan unsettled as he scanned the area around him wondering where the men that he’d spotted from the roof had gone to.

“How’s it looking in there?” Maria’s voice questioned in his ear as Logan looked around the outer perimeter of the warehouse. He stood up taller sniffing the air around him when an unsettling feeling coiled in his abdomen.

“It’s empty and quiet,” Logan confessed with a frown when it was evident that he was the only one outside of the warehouse in that area around the compound. The chirping of the crickets had tapered off a bit leaving the buzzing of gnats overhead to capture his attention, but that too had felt foreign to the world he’d entered into, “Too quiet considering that we had more than a baker’s dozen of guards out here when I spotted that man from the roof.”

“And now?”

“Aside from dopey over there in the dumpster, I don’t see or hear anyone for that matter. Something isn’t right here,” Logan rolled his shoulders back and snarled. He tipped his head up looking at the overhead light watching as a series of moths seemed to flap around in the air underneath the illuminance. With each flying movement they made, they began to muster up a low, whirring sound, drawing his attention to the fog in the air and the way that the winds seemed to kick up when he moved in closer to the van. Granted he hadn’t expected Scott or Clint to have finished their information extraction yet, but something in the air had changed around him in his movement from the rooftop to the compound. With each step he took, the night had shifted bringing with a sense of foreboding and danger to his new surroundings. He could feel it in his bones as his mind took him back to the recognition that had swept over his body.

 _“I’m going to make you burn Howlett!”_ he could hear the sharp, raspy voice singed into his memory, imprinted in his brain in ways that he hadn’t thought possible in this new world.

Closing his eyes Logan found himself thinking back to the face of the man he’d spotted from the rooftop. Although he couldn’t recall his name or explain where he’d known the man from, there was a hard rush of recollection working its way over his body in ways that Charles had once told him to anticipate as his time in this new world continued. At the time Charles had cautioned him, Logan had hoped that he would remember things like memories of being close to Scott or where he’d stashed his beer in this new world, but instead his thoughts had taken him to a place of blood and torture wrapped up in being sliced to pieces by a man he was certain that he’d never crossed paths with before in his old life. It shouldn’t have had such a profound impact upon him given weight of all the wars Logan had been through in his time being alive, but as Logan thought about what he’d experienced in his sudden spark of disturbing memories, his every instinct had guided him to the compound—to the place where he could readily sweep Scott out of the nightmare he was walking into. To hell with Markus and his madness. It was about rescuing Scott and getting him out of the compound before it was too late.

“What do you see?” Maria questioned pulling him from his thoughts.

“Nothing,” Logan divulged in a pinched whisper, “and that’s what bothers me about this Hill. It’s too easy.”

“We both know that isn’t the case. The guards are still at the front gates from what I can tell and…” Maria began as Logan looked around the darkened perimeter. His gaze shifted beyond the dumpster over towards the oversized crates up against the building. Some had been covered in moss indicating that they’d been there for quite some time as Logan found himself focusing on the stone wall beyond where the van was parked.

“It is too quiet,” Logan interrupted moving forward in search of any sign about what had changed since he’d convinced Maria to let him infiltrate the mission to help the others, “You saw how much traffic was coming in and out of this place before. For it to go dead silent without any warning…”

“Indicates that something is happening inside,” Maria finished wearily, “Scott and Clint haven’t been in there too long, but…”

“…the longer they are on the inside, the harder I anticipate it will be for us to get out of here,” Logan noted. He raised his chin up sniffing the air around him when the distinct scent of Cuban cigars and stale cigarettes filled the air around him. For an instant, he found himself met with a moment of recall, shuddering when he looked down to his arm half anticipating that he would discover the lingering singe of a cigarette burn there upon his bruised skin. Granted, in the past, he’d put cigars out in his palm, not bothering to give it a second thought with his healing factor, but there was something about the smell in the air around him that made his stomach tighten up with unwelcome recoil. For a moment, he stood on shaky legs feeling bile build up in the back of his throat. It was enough to make his stomach clench up and his pulse quicken when he closed his eyes and fought the involuntary urge to gag.

“Pick him up,” he could hear a voice echo in the dark, hidden corners of his mind pulling forth a hazy portrait of a world unlike the one he had stepped into at the compound.

In his mind, Logan could see he was surrounded by trees and unfamiliar faces down on his knees in a clearing surrounded by thick, dense trees and rolling mountains when a woman with long white robes stepped forward. Her long, auburn colored hair was braided all around her head framing her face in tight ringlets of color in ropes around her shoulders when she moved forward with such grace and fluidity that she appeared to be floating. She was tall, thin and undoubtedly beautiful in a hard, dangerous way, but there was no denying her presence as she emerged from the shadows the trees and the night had surrounded her with. For a moment Logan could swear he watched her sadistic smirk tease over the crimson colored lips set tight on the sharp, angular lines of her face before him, but just as soon as her amusement revealed itself, she released it returning to the rage that had consumed her.

With a low, vibrating wail the woman in white raised her arms up in the air, extending her hands out to the sky above her when another whimpering sound caused him to turn his attention to the oversized fire pit less than ten feet away from where he’d been held in his shackles. Over the top of the slow rising smoke and flames was a long, oversized metal rack much like one would have on a barbecue to grille hot dogs or hamburgers at summertime surrounded by friends and relatives, but there was nothing friendly about the environment he was in. With the popping of the flames, he could take in the distinct scene of blood and charred flesh serving as a reminder of the fire pit’s dark purpose at the center of the clearing. With the smoke and the haze, the scent of death surrounded Logan reminding him of the horrors that had been unearthed in such a quiet, beautiful place. Nature provided a cloak of privacy, taking those around him from civilization to the wilderness free to give in to their dark desires and horrific temptations sparked over being ostracized by a world that chose to despise and eradicate their kind.

“On this day we find ourselves standing on the verge of extinction,” the woman’s voice commanded, resonating through the darkness to reach the crowd of followers who hung on her every word, “They believe our very existence is an abomination—that we hold no place in their world of luxury and privilege. To them we are the enemy—the threat to their very existence as their way is all that they seek to maintain. Their way is all they have ever known, but we know better. We will never be as they are, and they hate us for it. They loathe all that we are because we are greater than they are. We are all that they wish they could be…”

Her words sent vibrations buzzing through Logan’s head, causing him to wince at the pain that spiked through his body. He found himself overtaken by the very sound feeling it reach something inside of his mind, invading his senses like a hot poker into his memories shifting and spitting them apart. With each sound he felt as if she was inside of his head wrapped up in a sadistic search for answers that he could not provide her with. Although she was speaking to the others, she was inside of him—invading his body and fighting to find the key to his undoing now that Logan had put himself in the line of fire. A short while earlier, she’d been praising his mutations, welcoming her into her gang, but now as she addressed her followers, she was working to tear his subconscious to shreds fighting to destroy the man in favor of calling out the beast that he could become in his darkest hour.

“They are set to destroy us all! They, who are mere inconveniences to our lives, wish to eradicate us in order to hold onto their power, but no more,” her hands raised higher in the air, “Tonight we end their feeble attempts at controlling us! Tonight, we take back our birthright and claim what is rightfully ours! No more do we sit in the shadows cowering in fear. We will not let them take that from us any longer! Tonight, we show them just who we are truly are!”

A series of whistles, hoots and cheers swept over the night causing Logan to grimace when the hold the woman in white had over him caused something to pop in his subconscious. For a brief instant, her grip on him eased up, offering him a temporary reprieve from the torment she’d put him through, but he found no comfort in it. Instead Logan found that he was on his knees bound by thick, heavy metallic restraints shackled to his wrists. He could taste the clotting blood in the back of his throat and dried blood and mangled flesh over the salty sting of his split bottom lip, broken and chapped after what he imagined was days without any kind of water in his system. His skin was broken and peeled away from his arm, exposing his muscle and bone to the insects in the area eager to feast upon his torn flesh when another pleading sound rose from the smoke-filled field around him.

“Stop! Don’t do this!” a man’s voice shrieked when Logan returned his attention to the fire pit again. There before his frightened eyes, he watched as two oversized mutants with gold and cerulean colored skin clad in long, black robes dragged a half-naked Clint Barton towards the flames. There was a thick, spiked metal collar around his neck that had bitten into his skin, breaking through his otherwise flawless flesh and causing blood to trail down over his neck and shoulders. His exposed chest revealed long, mechanical gouges from his abdomen up to the center of his chest. His muscled abdomen was split open revealing the now infected wounds that his broken skin had offered him up in his torment. His lips were equally chapped as Logan’s, but his sunken cheekbones and black eye indicated that he’d been through another round of torment at the hands of those who led him towards the fire, “Stop this!”

“You vouched for him,” the woman spoke up in a patient voice. She redirected her rage onto Clint, focusing on him as she raised her hand up in the air, “You told me that he could be trusted—that we could bring him into our network and…”

“He had nothing to do with this,” Logan could hear his own voice shouting in a futile attempt to reach out to her—to redirect her rage onto him through the crowd, but it fell upon deaf ears. Within seconds the men at Clint’s sides wrenched him up off the ground revealing the restraints they’d placed over his arms and legs. Behind him was a long, silver heavy metallic chain that was connected to each shackle upon him. As Clint struggled on his feet, barely able to hold himself up, Logan watched in horror when an overhead crane began to pull on the chains, wrenching Clint up off of the ground into a horizontal position, kicking and screaming all the while pulling him in closer to the popping pit of flames when it became clear what their captor had in store for Clint.

“You must burn for your betrayal,” the woman replied dismissively redirecting her attention to Logan as Clint’s screams caused Logan to choke up on an emotion that he was convinced he’d buried deep inside of him. Listening to his friend’s desperate pleas for a reprieve, Logan found himself on the verge of a breakdown forgetting his own broken body in favor of crawling over the sharp, jagged gravel beneath him, pushing his way through the mud in the clearing in the hopes that she would hear his warning—that she would stop her madness, but before he could tear her to pieces, he felt a rough, jagged blade in his skin, driving down deep between his shoulder blades as the scent of Cuban cigars and the same brand of stale cigarettes stole any inkling of hope from him.

“Stay down animal,” a man’s voice warned as the knife plunged deeper into his spine, causing muscle to shred and bones to pop from within, “She isn’t ready for you yet.”

“Logan!” Maria’s voice snapped dragging him away from the vision to the present where he stood alone in the center of Markus’s warehouse gasping for air. His nostrils were flaring, his body overtaken by a numbing sensation in knowing full well that things were far from finished in his fight for the safety of those he cared about. With the memory brought forth a sense of a dark, foreboding presence indicating just what kind of danger awaited those he cared about inside of the walls of Markus’s fortress.

“I don’t see anything,” Logan answered readily when it seemed the fog was picking up around him. Whether it was the aftermath of the earlier fires in the day or the contrast in the temperature that he’d been exposed to after the night air chilled the world around him, he soon discovered that the moon was offering up a golden haze, stealing the clarity of the night sky from them with each passing second he fought to stay in control, “I have to get inside. Something feels off in this.”

“What else do you see?” Maria questioned using her words to keep his mind on the mission before him.

“It’s just quiet and dark in here,” Logan replied blinking a few times. He fought to ignore the thoughts that had spilled into his subconscious, but there was still something from the memory lingering inside of him. Could it have been a mission gone wrong where he’d encountered the men he’d seen on the roof? Were they people who had held a darker motive that Markus had used to exploit their current situation? Were Scott and Clint in more danger than he’d anticipated when seeing the guard’s face had sent Logan into a rage? With each question he’d found that there were no answers when he veered around the side of the dumpster seeking out another other sign of life, “They’re gone.”

“They couldn’t have just disappeared,” Maria noted when Logan looked around the perimeter discovering that something seemed different about the van before him. Moving underneath the overhead light, he noticed that it was starting to rain creating a tapping sound against the metal wall when a snarl pressed upon his lips.

“Someone slashed the tires,” Logan noted reaching out to touch the ground only to notice the pile of ash that was spread out over the concrete a few inches from where the tire had been ripped open. There was an eerily familiar smell that rose from the pile, causing goosebumps to form on Logan’s flesh as if their presence indicated something far worse inside the warehouse. Frowning he ran his fingers across the dusty surface as the dark, powdered substance pressed into the pads of his fingers leaving with it a dry residue, “They knew we were coming here tonight and they weren’t planning on letting them leave anytime soon.”

“How can you be sure?” Maria questioned already revealing her uneasiness about the situation they’d found themselves in.

“This entire mission is a cluster fuck of chaos,” Logan scowled unable to ignore the weight of fear that swirled in the center of his chest, taking him from calm and agitated, to a place where he hadn’t been in this new life, “Did you know they were going to be here?”

“Of course not,” Maria hesitated revealing something darker in her tone, “I just knew that we needed to get in and…”

“This isn’t an extraction mission,” Logan interrupted with a scowl, “This is a test.”

“But…” she trailed off when the sound of static carried over the comm device, “Logan…can you hear me?”

“Yeah,” he answered reaching up to touch the tiny transmitter in his ear, “you’re breaking up, but I can hear you.”

“Good,” she spoke up with hesitation, “Logan…I hate to ask, but about that man you saw before…was he the one that…?”

“That what?” he replied looking at the pile of ash before him once again.

“Is he the one that Clint…?” Maria seemed almost uncertain if she could speak the words that were upon her lips. He could sense her curiosity, could imagine all the thoughts she must be having about the things that Logan hadn’t known, but before she could give in to her concerns, Logan interrupted her when another jarring realization carried over him.

“Markus was waiting for us,” Logan replied raising his chin up to look at the moon. For a moment it felt as if time stood still when the golden hues were replaced with a red copper warmth imitating a blood moon transforming the world around him only Logan knew full well that couldn’t be the case. He blinked his eyes a few times, taking in the scent of the world around him from the cigars and motor oil to blood, heavy pine and wilderness when a gasp fell from his lips.

 _“Do you think that your sacrifice will ever be enough? That you could ever be enough to appease those of us you’ve wronged?”_ the woman’s voice was etched in the back of Logan’s mind taking him from the present to another life back in the woods under a dark night sky in the clearing. The wind had died down and the trees were quiet aside from the chirping crickets and the crackling pop of the fire still burning beyond where Logan was now mounted on a wooden cross with his insides out on display. His eyes were watery in deep contrast to the dryness of his chapped lips and blistered skin. He’d lost all feeling in his limbs as his swollen right eye served as a reminder that they’d found a way to inhibit his healing factor. The hickory smoke in the air around him was mixed with death and the putrid scent of raw burning flesh when Logan fought to stay conscious in the darkness. He could see the flames through the haze, rising in golden and amber hues underneath the blood moon revealing the depth of their isolation in their hidden environment. Beyond where he was mounted to the makeshift cross, he could see Clint on the ground, practically naked and trembling in the cold, down on his knees before the woman in white with chains still clasped to his neck, arm and ankle restraints. He’d been pulled from the fire, but not before burns had tattooed his flesh with their charring heat. There was a scar forming on his upper chest, just above his breastbone revealing the same intricate marking that the gang members had upon their cheek tattooed in dark ink into their skin as a mark of loyalty. In Clint’s case, however, it was the reminder of his betrayal as his pink, puckered flesh was riddled with blisters and boils after his punishment. His black eye was now swollen shut as he knelt at the woman’s feet lapping like a wild dog into a bowl of water that she’d placed out for him a short while earlier. He was choking as he fought to get the fluid in fast enough to satisfy his thirst, but just as he’d started to find relief in the gesture, she stretched her bare toes out kicking the bowl out of his reach and causing him to collapse at her feet in defeat.

“Don’t worry my pet,” she spoke up soothingly, almost lovingly as he ran her long, slender fingers over the top of Clint’s head smoothing out his fire matted hair. There were spots where his hair had been burned down almost to the scalp leaving painful scabs forming over his skin when she reached out to touch the side of his face, “You were my favorite of all of them and I hate to discard you so easily. Soon you will be ready for reform. Soon you will pay the penance for your duplicity.”

“Leave him alone,” Logan grunted spitting out a thick, congealed glob of blood onto the ground as the words barely registered past his lips. He fought to find the strength to raise his head up further, to fight against the thick, heavy bolts that kept him secured to his makeshift crucifix, but it was no use. They’d done something to him that had rendered him helpless…that had kept him from fighting back, but now as his friend and partner was being hurt and humiliated transformed into something less than man, Logan found himself overtaken with a primitive rage, “Damn you! Leave him alone!”

“Shut your mouth!” the man who Logan had recognized from the rooftop had warned, jabbing Logan with something in the thigh that felt like a red, hot poker. It penetrated his open flesh, pushing past the muscle to heat up his adamantium laced bone. With the harsh jab into his body, everything inside of him started to heat up, causing his insides to feel as if they were melting—as if the adamantium that covered his bones was boiling him alive from the inside taking with its wrath vengeance on Logan’s very soul for his sins. The pain was searing, jarring his senses in more ways than he’d thought possible when the woman who held Clint captive finally noticed Logan and his tormenter.

“That’s enough!” she shouted causing the man to withdraw the jagged torture device from Logan’s thigh. Dropping his head down, Logan realized that he had saliva and blood dripping down from his mouth. The flesh around his wound was still smoking as Logan realized that the sharp object was merely the man’s fingers brought to life by a mutation that had turned him into a weapon with the ability to tear his prisoners to shreds with his jarring heat.

“But…” the man’s disappointed voice snarled in retreat, but he dared not defy his master. Instead he moved in closer to Logan wrenching Logan’s head up and forcing Logan to face his leader head on.

There mounted on the crucifix Logan remained watching helplessly as the woman in white possessively draped her arm around Clint’s bare, broken spine. Despite Clint’s whimper and broken sobs, Logan watched in horror as she gently massaged her long, pale fingertips over Clint’s spine offering up a soothing touch after the horrors she’d inflicted upon him. He trembled uncontrollably; his mind shattered to pieces as the weight of the tortures upon his flesh caused him to lose himself completely. With each tender touch and press of her fingers over his burnt skin, she spoke up in a quiet, soothing tone meant to console him after the nightmare she’d thrust upon him.

“That’s right my pet,” she practically cooed at him, “Don’t be ashamed of your tears. They will cleanse your spirit after the flame has purified your soul.”

“Don’t,” Logan attempted to shout out—to pull her away from Clint, but it was no use. The words never left his mind as his lips were parted and heaving gasping for air when the fingers of his tormenter were once again buried in his thigh causing his insides to heat up once again. With each sharp jab, he found his head falling back against the wooden cross, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as drool fell from his lips leaving him no shame or dignity in his torment. His body convulsed and shook, his heart speeding up in his chest, but it was with the woman in white reaching for Clint and coaxing him into her arms, into her lap to hold him like a small child that Logan found himself overtaken with disgust.

“You will always have a part of me with you,” she promised cupping Clint’s face in hands. She gently turned his head up, focusing on his tear-stained cheeks and his pitifully broken features when she leaned forward to press a kiss upon his forehead. The sensation caused him to break down further as she stroked the side of his face coaxing him to accept her tenderness after her torment.

“Pl…please…” Clint begged of her, his words coming down as nothing more than a desperate whisper.

“I know my love,” she spoke up soothingly cupping his face in her hands. She coaxed him to focus on her, to center in on her words when her left hand eased off of his cheek, stretching out across the thronelike chair that she was seated upon to reach for the wooden bowl on the knotted pine table beside her. With a curl of her fingers, she skewered her long, red colored nail into the bowl and extracted the charred, gnarled flesh that had been pulled from Clint’s body a short while earlier. It was a long, thin strip clearly taken from his abdomen as she raised it in the air, allowing it to dangle and twist beneath the moonlight. It no longer seemed human, but rather something out of a nightmare as the putrid, jerky like substance wiggled in her fingers. Amused she clasped it tighter in her fingers, pulling it closer to Clint’s splintered lips. She held it up for him, hoping to taunt him as he remained before her devoid of any real thought beyond survival, “How hungry you must be after all you’ve been through my love…”

Horrified Logan watched as the woman in white began to slide Clint’s charred flesh in over the side of his face, tracing the burned edge over the hollow of his cheekbone before pressing it to his lips to torment him.

“How about a taste so you can see just how sweet you are?” she suggested pushing it over the crease in his lips, attempting to shove it into his mouth with a wicked determination in her movement.

“Stop it,” Logan pleaded when his convulsions died down. His head flopped down as his neck was barely able to hold the weight of him. Instead he remained on the cross like a ragdoll feeling boneless and broken when Logan could smell the satisfaction of his tormenter at his side, reveling in the torment he’d placed upon Logan’s beaten, battered body. In that moment, Logan had found himself wanting nothing more than to end it all—to find the inevitable release that only death could provide, but as he felt his tormenter reach out to wrench his head up once again to focus on the woman in white torturing Clint for her own sadistic pleasure, Logan knew he wouldn’t be afforded such a luxury.

“You both have caused me a great deal of headaches, but for tonight we focus on our harvest the gods have provided us,” she made a low, tsking sound watching Logan with dark, contemplative eyes. Between the dancing flames in the clearing and Logan’s blurred vision she appeared to be less than human, dark and threatening when her lips curved upward like the Cheshire cat in a dark fantasy that he’d read about years ago. Her words were soft and lulling offering up a false sense of comfort in contrast to her madness. With eyes on Logan, she pushed Clint off her lap, sending him down to the ground with a violent push. Her smirk widened when she stretched her toes out pushing them over Clint’s spine to dig them into the wounds on his back. With a small smirk, she pulled her foot back allowing him the opportunity to struggle to get up again before kicking him down to the ground scraping his abdomen over the gravel. He whimpered before curling into a ball on the ground, looking like a lost child when she rose to make the others aware that she commanded their attention.

“Tonight, we share in the spoils of war,” she announced to her followers when she stepped over Clint leaving him on the ground beneath her. Her fingers were still coiled around the chain that was tied around his neck, keeping her grip over him when her foot pushed off of his flesh once again and onto the gravel to make her move towards where Logan was hanging on display for all those who dared to defy her, “The mighty Wolverine has provided us with a great feast and reason for celebration, now hasn’t he?”

There was a round of cheers when the woman moved forward holding Clint’s chain in her grip, forcing him to crawl on the ground behind her, scraping his hands and knees with each movement she made to address her dark followers.

“Tonight we celebrate the beginning of the end of the tyrannical reign that has kept us in hiding for far too long,” she encouraged her followers, waving her free hand around to rouse up support in their circle, “Tonight we say goodbye to the world that has fought to destroy us in favor of coming into the light—into a world that is made just for us.”

More cheers of encouragement surrounded her causing her to wave her hand around in the air once again with more enthusiasm than before.

“We have spent far too long being told that we were wrong—that we don’t belong in this world that they have fought to destroy, but no more. We shall no longer be beasts of burden in their madness. Tonight we reclaim what has always been rightfully ours,” she shouted bringing the hand that held Clint’s chain high up in the air when the roars of her followers goaded her on, taking her from their corner of the woods to a place where Logan found that he’d never imagined he would ever be. With each clapping sound and encouraging cheer, he found the memory fading pulling him from the clearing to the warehouse exterior once again as he touched the ash on the ground.

“I’m going to call for backup,” Maria decided worriedly when Logan shook the memory and his mind rushed back through the empty lot to take a closer look at the van.

“It might be too late for that. Plus, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea at this point given we don’t know who to trust,” Logan reminded her sharply when he pulled his fingers up to focus on the ash that had collected on his fingertips. Frowning, he tilted his head to the side taking in the faint scent of the man he suspected had destroyed the tires when rage swelled in his chest, “As it stands one of your men could’ve followed us here and told Markus that we were…”

“I can’t see you Logan. This fog isn’t helping anything and…,” Maria’s voice was apprehensive as Logan crouched down to inspect the slashed tire before him.

“They wouldn’t just leave their post without reason,” Logan thought aloud as he touched the shredded rubber before him, “They wouldn’t just leave this place unattended with that idiot to keep an eye on things unless…”

“You think they got to Clint and Scott?” Maria questioned worriedly.

“Why did you bring him here Maria?” Logan couldn’t help, but question when the flashes of his memory brought him to a new realization, “Why pull him into this knowing that there was a possibility that they could be…?”

“I didn’t know,” Maria’s voice faltered revealing the first hint of vulnerability since Logan had found himself alone with her, “If I had any idea, then…”

“Knowing what she did to him…” Logan opened his mouth to prepare to say something more when it was clear that his words wouldn’t do anything to help further his mission. Instead he recovered from his momentary lapse and stood up taller.

“I didn’t know. Logan, if I had any idea that this could be a part of that… If I could see that they were still active enough to be a threat to this mission…,” she started preparing to offer up an explanation when a sound broke through the night leaving Logan to realize that he was no longer alone.

Springing to his feet, Logan snarled when he heard the hard-hitting sound of feet scraping over the pavement. The sound grew in intensity, moving faster as Logan stood up taller with his claws unsheathed. He rushed forward preparing to face down the next person who dared to challenge him now that his fractured mind had taken him to a dark place that his counterpart must’ve fought like hell to forget, but much to his surprise and dismay instead of facing down one of the men who had sparked the reaction inside of him he discovered Clint standing before him looking whiter than a ghost.

“Logan,” Clint’s breathless voice gasped as he practically leapt out of his skin. He jumped back gasping as if he couldn’t believe his own eyes when Logan moved in closer to him, “What—what are you doing here?”

“Rescuing your ass,” Logan looked past Clint over his shoulder seeking out any sign of Scott in Clint’s retreat from the warehouse. When it was clear that Scott wasn’t close behind, Logan turned his focus to his friend again, “Where is he? Where’s Cyclops?”

“There were some guards inside,” Clint seemed to struggle with his words. He gasped for air when his hand pushed up over his chest. In the movement, Logan realized that Clint had involuntarily clasped at the scar that undoubtedly remained from the memory that Logan had carried with him moments earlier. However, in knowing the importance of what was still ahead, Logan fought to find focus in his friend’s words when Clint spoke up breathlessly, “There were men from Canada that…”

“Where are they now?” Logan asked feeling a chill creep in over him as an eerie sense of familiarity overtook him.

“I don’t know, but they must’ve known we were coming in there tonight. They must’ve realized who we are at the gates when they saw me drive in. I don’t know how Markus found them, but they were the ones that were there during that time Logan. They were involved in what happened to us when…” Clint’s voice shook with a fear unlike Logan had known from the man before him, “They…they…they are here to finish what she started. They aren’t going to stop until…”

“Focus,” Logan instructed retracting his claws again. He stepped forward bringing his bloodied hand up over his friend’s shoulder when Clint shuddered and pulled away from him as if the contact had shaken him to the core.

“They were…” Clint shook his head as if he too was haunted by the pieces of memory that Logan had found spilled him upon seeing the guard’s face, “They…”

“Clint…”

“It was the one that did those things to you with his fingers—the one that burned... He was in there with another one looking for Scott and…” Clint’s lips smacked together when it was clear that he was starting to have a panic attack. His eyes were wide, his face drained of all color as he staggered backward reaching out to brace himself against the van when his words came out in a jumbled, incoherent hiss, “Scott told me to run. He told me to get out of there and…he said…”

“You left him alone to face that?” Logan frowned thinking of Scott still trapped inside of the warehouse forced to face the madness that had invaded Logan’s mind a few seconds earlier.

“I didn’t have a choice. I was no good to him, so he told me to leave—said that I needed to get us far away from this place,” Clint answered in a heaving breath when it seemed as though his throat was closing up on him in his panic. He brought his hand over his chest, gasping for air as he began blinking frantically with recall, “He said that I…I needed to get into the van and get out of here—that I needed to take you and Maria far from here so that…”

“…he could do himself in,” Logan finished realizing just what Scott had requested out of Clint in his retreat.

“He stopped them once…he was able to get out of there the first time…” Clint attempted to reason with Logan, “He said he knew what he was doing and…”

“He doesn’t have the first fucking clue what he is getting himself into,” Logan noted knowing only too well that Scott was beyond reason. His quest to finish the mission had undoubtedly clouded his judgment as Logan was aware of the dangers that Scott faced within the wall of the compound. Unable to quell the fear that carried over him, Logan reached for Clint’s shoulders shaking him to force Clint’s focus to Logan once again, “Where was he when you left?”

“He was in a room…with a computer that…that we were hiding in. He was preparing to finish the extraction like we talked about, but then they walked by and… It was like I was back there again experiencing it with her hands on me—with the fire and the flames and…” Clint was beyond any type of coherent rationality when Logan shook him once again.

“Clint listen to me. I need to find Scott. Where is he?”

“I…I don’t know…”

“Where did you leave him?” Logan demanded shaking Clint again when Maria’s voice spoke up in Logan’s ear reminding him of her presence in the communication device.

“Logan, what’s going on out there?” Maria questioned worried by the conversation she was hearing over the communication device, “You’re breaking up. What’s happening with Clint? What is he saying?”

“Scott’s still trapped inside and Clint…” Logan hesitated to see the frightened tears that were building behind his friend’s eyes. It was clear that his friend was beyond consolation as he stood before Logan rocking back and forth into the night with a lost expression on his face, “You need to get him out of here Maria. Forget what I said before. You need to call for backup and…”

“Logan, what’s happening?” Maria demanded once again.

“We can’t be here. We…we have to go,” Clint explained desperately as he rocked back and forth, wrapping his arms around his muscular frame, “We have to get out of here.”

“We will,” Logan promised, “but first we need to find Scott and…”

“No, we have to leave,” Clint argued as if he finally registered Logan’s words. He stopped rocking himself long enough to look at his friend with a tired expression on his face, “We need to leave now. It isn’t safe for us. We have to…”

“We will,” Logan attempted to assure him, “but not until we have Scott with us. Once we find him…”

“Cyclops ordered you to go with us—to walk away from this so that he…” Clint spit out behind a trembling lip.

“He what?” Logan asked.

“He said he would get the job done. He said that he would take care of this…” Clint’s voice trembled with his emotion, taking him from the carefree man munching on snacks on the way up o Kingston to the one who had been tormented by the nightmare Logan had happened upon, “He knows what’s at stake…. He said he would find her…that he…”

“Who?” Logan questioned when Clint’s eyes were glazed over again by his tears.

“We’ve got to get out of here. We need to leave…we have to go…” Clint rambled on seemingly caught up in his own thoughts when Logan realized what Scott had been asking of them.

“Logan…” Maria spoke up in his ear once again.

“We have to go,” Clint pleaded with a tiny yelp, “We have to…”

“No,” Logan answered in a firm, unyielding tone watching as his friend fell to pieces before him, “I can’t do that. I can’t just leave a man behind when…”

“He’s ready to finish the job Logan. He can do this. He said that we needed to go—that he was ordering you to stay out of that warehouse and…” Clint’s words were frantic, leaving him less like the man that Logan had befriended and more like a man possessed by fear caught up in a frenzy as the world around him was crumbling.

“Logan, what’s happening?” Maria asked again, “Talk to me!”

“Scott’s in danger,” Logan answered shoving Clint aside and moving forward towards the building with a determined stride. Armed with a new objective in mind, Logan found himself pressing forward refusing to walk away from the man he’d fought like hell to find in his life again.

“I can’t let you do that Logan,” Clint’s voice held a deeper resolve when Logan found himself looking over his shoulder to face his frantic, red-faced friend. It was clear that Clint was struggling with himself, fighting to do what he thought was best in the moment when he had drawn an arrow, placing it into his bow armed and ready to go now that he had it pointed at Logan’s back, “Cyclops gave you an order! You have to leave with me!”

“What are you doing?” Logan questioned wearily turning around to face Clint fully, “What do you think is happening here?”

“Cyclops made me promise that I wouldn’t let you in there,” Clint answered behind a trembling lip, “He told me that it was an order for you to leave with me—to stay out of that awful place and…”

“I’m not leaving without him,” Logan replied raising his hands in the air. He made a small step towards his friend watching as Clint’s fingers trembled over his bow. He was losing touch with reality and given the brief hints of the past that Logan had experienced, he realized that his friend was beyond consolable.

“What’s going on down there? Logan, you’re breaking up on me. What is happening?” Maria’s voice was frantic, “I can’t hear you. What is Clint saying?”

“I can’t let you go in there Logan!” Clint held the bow up higher in warning. His voice trembled and his hands shook, but Logan knew full well even with shaky hands, Clint wouldn’t miss should he decide to strike against Logan. Armed with fear and concern about what was inside of the building, Clint was a man on a mission possessed by the need to break away from the danger that threatened to tear his world apart once again. Tears were glistening behind his blue eyes, his face growing redder as he held his bow like a lifeline waving it around at Logan in warning, “I gave my word and…”

“I can’t let him kill himself in there to appease the demon inside of him that’s threatening to tear him to pieces. I can’t let him die all because he can’t forgive himself for something that happened a lifetime ago,” Logan answered stubbornly making a bold step towards Clint, “I don’t care what he told you, there’s no way that I’m leaving him behind.”

“He doesn’t want you in there!” Clint shouted back at him.

“I don’t care what he wants. I’m not leaving him!” Logan roared in response unable to contain the fear that now consumed him at the thought of Scott on his own ready to face the monsters that Logan had once been at the mercy of.

“He knows that you’ll die if you step foot in that building. Those men aren’t going to stop until they…” Clint began to rave wildly, possessed by a fear that surrounded him, drowning Logan in its potency.

“I won’t leave him behind!” Logan snapped in recoil knowing full well his friend was beyond reason.

“You owe him nothing!” Clint spat back angrily when his fears seemed to get the best of him, “Time and time again he’s torn you to pieces. He has ruined you in ways that are almost as bad as they did Logan. To go in there after him would mean certain death and…”

“I love him Clint,” Logan announced freely, finding the words falling from his lips without hesitation, without fear of what their meaning meant to him, “and I’ll be damned if I lose him again.”

“He never deserved your love Logan. Even with this…” Clint’s words trailed off when something snapped behind his eyes, “even in this sacrifice he still doesn’t. You need to walk away. You can’t sacrifice yourself for him.”

“He did it for us, didn’t he?” Logan questioned feeling another thought overtake him when his mind was surrounded by a bright, flashing light. Somehow whatever the light was he knew it was connected to his memory—to the torture he’d endured, but in the back of his mind he could feel with it shine with warmth when he could hear the sound of Scott’s voice in the back of his mind

 _“I’ve got you Logan. You’re safe now,”_ Scott’s words echoed in the back of Logan’s mind haunting him as the images weren’t clear. He couldn’t see when Scott had said them, but just in hearing them in the back of his mind, Logan realized Scott had as a part of him was certain that Scott was the only reason he’d been able to flee the nightmare that had haunted him.

“He saved us Clint,” Logan reminded his friend, knowing full well that even if he hadn’t remembered it, he felt it, “He risked it all to bring us home. He’s the reason we’re both standing here…”

“And I won’t let him be the reason that you die,” Clint answered with a stubborn determination in his tone, “We owe him nothing. He did what he did and…”

“He’ll do it again right now if we let him. That much I’m sure of, but I won’t risk it. I refuse to let him leave my life without a fight,” Logan argued with him, “I can’t walk away.”

“You never walk away,” Clint’s eyes were focused on Logan as he gripped his bow tighter than before, “He knows you never will. He knows just how far he can push you over the edge before you submit. He realizes that…”

“He’s in there risking his life to save ours and I’ll be damned if I allow him to take on that burden himself,” Logan softened his tone knowing only too well that Clint’s words were manifested from his fear, “I understand why you need to get as far away from this place as possible, but I’m not leaving without him. I can’t let him go.”

“Then you’ll die here Logan,” Clint’s voice softened momentarily. Something seemed to switch in his mind, taking him from his fear to another series of thoughts causing him to lower his bow ever so slightly. With the action Logan found himself filled with a moment of temporarily relief until Clint raised his chin up, meeting Logan’s concerns with defiance when his fingers were positioned to aim his arrow at Logan once again, “which means I will fail my mission and I cannot allow that.”

“Damn it,” Logan cursed when he thought to the earpiece he was wearing as it was clear Clint was beyond reasoning with, “Clint, you don’t want to do this.”

“My commanding officer gave me an order and I intend to see it through,” Clint’s voice was robotic, as if a part of him had been shut down in the moments that had passed after he’d found Logan. Now he was a man possessed by a mission, caught up in an order that Logan knew full well he could not allow Clint to follow through on.

“Hill, do you trust me?” Logan questioned looking around the building when the sound of a siren sounded out through the night air taking them from solitude to a frenzied moment undoubtedly outed in their positioning.

“What’s happening?” Maria demanded once again, “Logan, you’re breaking up again.”

“Do you trust me?” Logan shouted louder than before stepping to the right as Clint’s arrow followed him. As Logan moved towards the building, he could see the determination set in his friend’s brow, the way his jaw was set with determination at the command he’d been given by Scott from within the walls of the building, “Hill?”

“What’s going on?” she asked frantically.

“If you give a damn about Clint, then you’re going to have to do exactly as I say,” Logan’s voice was calm and collected, but his mind was far from that as his friend stood before him with wild eyes overwhelmed by obligation and fear, “I need you to listen to me closely and help me like you did before.”

“What do you mean?” Maria questioned again, “Logan, you’re breaking up.”

“I don’t have time to explain, but you have to cover me like you did before. Do you see me right now?” Logan asked tipping his head up to look towards the moon wondering what kind of nightmare he’d walked into when Clint’s wild eyes were beyond consolation, “Hill?”

“I can barely hear you,” she answered desperately, “What’s happening? What is he saying Logan? What is going on in there?”

“I need you to aim at three-o-clock, but don’t go high with it,” Logan explained in a quiet, uneasy tone knowing full well that things were about to turn ugly between him and his friend, “Do you think you can do that?”

“Logan, what are you asking me to…?” she asked with uneasiness in her tone.

“Do you trust me?” Logan shouted into the night causing Clint to tense up and raise his bow pointing it directly at Logan. His brow was tense, his fingers clenched tightly around the bow as it was clear that Clint was no longer going to be giving Logan the option of defying him any longer, “Hill!”

“You’d better not be wrong about this,” Maria answered defeatedly when Clint pulled back on his bow preparing to take Logan out of the mission at Scott’s request. His fingers were curled, his elbow bent, but just as he opened his mouth to say something, Logan heard the sound he’d hoped for shoot through the night, splitting through the fog and popping as the stun dart landed directly in Clint’s shoulder near the curve of his neck.

“What the….?” Clint gasped staggering forward towards Logan and dropping his bow. He reached up towards his neck attempting to pull at the dart when his lips parted. His eyes began to widen in surprise, then flutter to a close as Logan rushed forward to catch the fallen Avenger in his arms before he hit the concrete.

“Logan, what’s going on? What’s wrong with Clint? Why did that alarm go off?” Maria questioned frantically, desperate for answers as Logan scooped Clint up in his arms. He hoisted Clint over his shoulder, looking around the concrete before weighing out his options. On the one hand, Clint would be safer out of the compound, but on the other, he knew full well that leaving Clint unconscious just outside of the wall was asking for trouble. Instead of doing that to his friend and leaving him open for disaster, Logan turned towards the van, reaching for the handle on the back door only to discover it was locked.

“Damn it,” Logan cursed contemplating ripping the door off its hinges before he found another more, pleasing thought. Reaching out to pat over Clint’s thigh, he felt the ring of keys within his friend’s pocket as he set a now unconscious Clint down against the side of the van. He braced Clint up, doing his best to steady his unresponsive friend when he reached into Clint’s pocket and pulled out the tiny golden keyring that contained the van’s keys.

“I’m sorry,” Logan apologized pulling the keys up underneath the light to discover the alarm for the van’s door. He pushed a button unlocking the van before reaching out to open the back door where Scott had crawled in earlier. With a few quick steps and a careful shuffle of his feet, Logan moved into the van and gently set Clint down on the floor of the van, covering him with the same tarp that Scott had been hiding under before.

With a heavy sigh and uneasiness weighing upon him, Logan took a step back and looked down at his friend knowing only too well that Clint never should’ve been there to begin with. The alarm outside of the van had stopped sounding, but Logan knew only too well that the damage had already been done. They had been outed in their arrival and whatever else would follow would undoubtedly mean danger for everyone involved.

“But not you,” Logan promised. Leaning forward he tipped Clint’s head back coaxing Clint to rest his head against the wall between the front seat and the crates that would keep him shielded from the others should they think to search the van once again. With a sigh he dropped the keys down into his friend’s lap knowing full well that Clint would be angry when he awakened, but now wasn’t time for that, “You are going to stay safe. We’re going to get you back home and away from all of this. I promise you.”

“Logan, what’s happening?” Maria questioned again as he found himself at a turning point on this mission.

“Markus knows we’re here and he’s pulling out all the punches to see that we fail this mission,” Logan informed her with a snarl as he moved out of the van back into the night. He reached for the back doors of the van slamming them shut before he used his strength to twist the metal just enough so that no one would be able to enter the van without putting up a fight.

“What did Clint tell you? What’s going in there? What has he…?” Maria questioned before rethinking her words, “Never mind. This has gone one for long enough. I’m calling for backup.”

“Call Fury,” Logan twisted the metal handle of the door off before turning his attention to the building before him, “You trust him, right?”

“With my life,” Maria answered as Logan looked to the compound before him knowing full well that whatever was waiting for him inside, it wasn’t going to end without a brutal, violent fight, “Logan, what are you…?”

“Have Fury get a team of men he can trust out here as fast as he can with as much firepower as he thinks we’ll need. Call Charles as well and let him know that the group from Canada might be calling the shots,” Logan replied feeling the words fall from his lips in ways that he hadn’t anticipated when the dark memories seemed to trigger a half clear memory inside of him, “Tell them both that they aren’t going to be taken down lightly. This time is going to be something much worse than before, but with Clint…”

“Logan?”

“When you’re doing calling Fury, you get Clint the hell out of this place,” Logan ordered feeling himself caught up in his friend’s torment, “You make sure that he is out of this once and for all.”

“Logan I…”

“I don’t know what it is that you did or said to pull him into this, but from now on he’s out,” Logan ordered behind gritted teeth, “Do you understand?”

“Logan…” Maria spoke up before giving up in defeat, ““Logan, you need to be careful. You and Scott are…”

“Get Clint the hell out of here! I have him in the van safe for now, but you need to make sure he is moved fast before anyone else realizes he’s out here,” Logan shouted over as he reached up to touch his ear again, “You both need to get as far away from this as possible.”

“Logan, that isn’t going to be a possibility considering that…” Maria attempted to reason with him when Logan pulled the communication device out of his ear.

“Tough,” Logan replied dropping it to the ground as he could hear Maria attempting to offer up orders. Her words, however, were lost on Logan as he stomped on the communication device crushing it beneath the weight of his foot before he redirected his focus to the building before him.

“I’m not going to let you die today Slim,” Logan announced taking a bold step towards the back of the building and knowing full well that whatever dangers were inside, they paled in comparison to a life without Scott. Knowing what he’d lost in his old life, he wasn’t about to risk his future on the distant memory of madness that a man who’d once filled his shoes had carried with him. Yes, perhaps he would one day revel in the madness of the life the other him had left behind, but there was no way in hell that he was about to let go of the one thing that made life worth living. Come hell or highwater he was going to save Scott Summers even if it seemed that Scott’s worst enemy in this madness was himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Logan breaks into the compound exterior to rescue Scott and Clint. However, upon arrival he discovers the place is deserted on the outside. During that time Logan remembers disturbing pieces of the mission in Canada where the other him and Clint were both brutally tortured. Upon realization of what he and Clint faced, Logan is even more determined to get into the compound to save Scott. Just as Logan prepares to enter the compound, Clint emerges frantic and terrified of what is waiting inside. The two argue about leaving as Logan refuses to leave Scott behind. Logan declares his love for Scott and Clint, who is divided by fear and a promise to Scott, tries to stop Logan from entering the compound. When Logan is unable to talk Clint down as he realized Scott is sending them away so that he can kill himself by taking on Markus and the others, Logan asks Maria for help in neutralizing Clint long enough for Logan to get into the building to rescue Scott. Once Clint is knocked unconscious by a stun dart, Logan places him in the back of the van to keep him safe and he enters the warehouse armed and ready to save Scott.


	17. Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan enters the warehouse only to discover the bloody results of madness around him. As Scott faces off against an old enemy, the battle ends with dire consequences.

**Destruction:** _the action or process of causing so much damage to something that it no longer exists or cannot be repaired._

  
Logan entered the darkened building half expecting to find himself surrounded by chaos, but instead he was met by the scent of fresh paint and new upholstery as it was clear that the building had been through a recent renovation. Although the back door had still been wrenched open from what Logan suspected was where Clint had made his retreat, Logan wondered if this part of the building had ever truly seen any life beyond the contractors that had built it up in its new makeover. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness that surrounded him, he found himself focusing on the narrow, neutral looking hallway before him knowing only too well that whatever threat was waiting for him wasn’t going to find him on his first few steps into the building.

“Where are you Slim?” Logan questioned surveying the darkness. He pushed forward through the black walkway, moving towards a more centralized location when a screeching sound to his right caused him to take pause. For a moment he was convinced it hadn’t been human—that perhaps it was an animal, but then with the twisting, gnarling sound that screeched in his ears, he realized it was something much darker.

“Damn it,” Logan mouthed stepping forward when he was immediately struck by the scent of blood and death. It surrounded him, filling up his senses with each breath he took. It enveloped his lungs taking him from the world outside the compound to the same grizzly place where he’d been back in those words north of the border caught up in the madness that his mind had transported him to outside of the compound. Only unlike the mission, this wasn’t a memory. This was in the present—revealing traces of what he would expect beyond the narrow corridor he was in. For a moment, he found himself frozen in time wondering just what kind of life the other him and Scott had lived in the world so full of hate and anger. In his old world, Logan had watched it burn from the inside out taking with it everything and anything that mattered to him, but here in this place with the good came the overwhelming bad. Things weren’t as clear as they should’ve been. Instead of peace, misery and despair surrounded them all bringing with Logan’s new arrival the realization that for all he’d fixed, there were so many things that were undoubtedly still broken.

 _“You told me yourself that I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to you,”_ Scott’s words echoed in the back of Logan’s mind leaving Logan to wonder what Scott believed was so horrible that he would damn himself to this place where the danger of the past threatened to steal their future from them.

“I’m not letting you walk away without a fight,” Logan vowed turning towards the source of the scent that had spilled into his lungs. With each step he took, he could almost taste the carnage. It burned into his nostrils filling his lungs with the same putrid, foul stench that his mind had pulled from him a short while earlier. Only this time instead of being tormented away from the others, he was the one stalking through the halls preparing for the worst as the man he’d loved had foolishly put himself in the line of fire to appease some sense of torment that weighed upon his soul.

“Damn it, Scott,” Logan cursed rounding the corner of the hallway when suddenly through the darkness he was met by a bloodbath before him. He hesitated in his movement when he was hit with the first wave of nausea. There before him splashed out across the walls was the deep, crimson shade of blood soaking into the freshly laid beige colored paint. It looked almost black through the darkness as Logan wearily moved forward for further inspection. He looked down to discover shredded limbs and amputated parts of what he suspected was a person or perhaps multiple persons at his feet, mangled by a dark force that went beyond anything he’d anticipated.

At first, Logan’s fears mounted as he found himself wondering if Scott had fallen prey to the guards, but as he knelt to inspect the mangled body, he realized it wasn’t Scott. The scent was off, but more telling was the torn flesh on the carpet just beyond where he stood. Through the darkness he may have readily dismissed it as simply a pool of blood, but upon further inspection Logan realized that it was flesh peeled away from the corpse on the floor before him. Wordlessly he reached out with shaky hands finding himself caught up in an eerie sense of déjà vu.

“What the…?” Logan questioned raising the long piece of torn skin up to discover the familiar tattoo upon its soiled surface. There in black ink was the very tattoo that haunted his memory, taking him from the present to a time when another man walked in his shoes experiencing a horrific torment.

With a gasp Logan dropped the skin and took a step back, shuffling across the floor when he bumped and collided with another discarded body on the ground. Spinning around he discovered that not only had there been one body behind him, but at least half a dozen guards torn to pieces as the first had been. Their blood and limbs cluttered up the narrow hallway leaving a path for Logan to follow towards the double doors at the end of the hall. With a newfound determination in his stride, Logan stood up taller rolling his shoulders back and puffing out his chest wondering if Scott had been responsible for the carnage before him.

 _“_ _He doesn’t want you in there!”_ Clint’s words echoed in Logan’s mind causing a dull, thrumming ache to build in Logan’s temple. It was there poking and prodding just beneath the surface, resonating from deep within as Logan moved through the discarded, lifeless bodies the no longer resembled the forms they’d been a short while earlier.

“What have you done Slim?” Logan questioned practically choking on the smell when he finally found his way to the double doors before him. He hesitated briefly, doing his best to ignore the sudden squeamishness that had overtaken him. It was uncharacteristic of him to allow something as simple as blood and death to shake him. He’d been through wars. He’d seen things that most hadn’t been privy to, but in this new world with the threat of danger on the horizon intermixed with the aftermath of rage and violence, he found that something had changed in him. Somewhere in the dark place in his mind, he knew that his counterpart had been changed now physically shaken by violence as Logan felt the remnants of that time sweeping over his senses.

“What happened here?” Logan questioned to himself wondering if in this new world he’d somehow created something much darker that went beyond his own imagination. Reaching out he pushed the double doors open expecting to find someone on the other side waiting to take him on, but much like he’d encountered in the hallway, he discovered a trail of bodies illuminated only by the small windows to the left of the walkway filtering in the soft hues of the moon. They spilled across the tiny path, bringing emphasis to the fallen bodies and shadows splashed across the floor and the walls even in some cases spreading out to the ceiling when Logan pressed forward determined to discover his lover before it was too late.

Lowering his head, Logan made sure to steer clear of the light, using the shadows to move undetected through the hallway, following the path of death until finally he found himself standing at the end of the corridor looking out into an oversized atrium beyond the thick glass window set into the thick blue metal door before him. Leaning forward he could see that the room was far more open than the hallway revealing an open, round room with overhead walkways and a skylight above. It was undoubtedly the center of the wing, proving to be a lobby of sorts as Logan recognized the overturned chairs and registration area just beyond where he stood in the darkness. It was there that he was finally hit with the strong scent of Scott indicating that his lover was just beyond the darkness he was in, right in the center of the atrium with another familiar scent in the air.

“You made a big mistake coming here tonight Summers,” a voice taunted when Logan found himself immediately rocked with recall. It was enough to cause him to fall back against the wall behind him, far from the moonlight with a shudder rocking over his body. Closing his eyes, Logan could almost feel the heat of the man’s touch tearing at his insides, melting him from within as the memory of the life the other him had flooded to the surface once again in a series of jumbled images racing through his mind.

“Your big mistake was ever allowing me to walk through the doors to your cult’s compound in the first place. You should have killed me when you had your chance,” Scott’s voice responded in a firm, neutral tone. If he’d been afraid, there was no sign of it.

Shaken by the sound Logan reopened his eyes and forced himself to look out the window once again to discover Scott standing in the center of the atrium with arms wide open practically taunting Logan’s former tormenters. His back was turned to Logan, so Logan couldn’t see his face, but there was an air of showmanship in his step, an air of pizzazz in his movement and something in his voice that was cold and distant as Logan realized that Scott was covered in blood. His dark hair was matted down against his neck, soaked by what Logan suspected was the remains of those he’d stepped over to get through the hallway. The sight was one that clearly could’ve been taken from a horror film with Scott arrogantly tipping his head up to address the man who’d tormented Logan as the man stood up above Scott.

“That was not _my_ mistake,” the man answered matching Scott’s tone, refusing to reveal anything more from his position over Scott on the walkway. He had a gun in hand, pointing it down at Scott aimed directly at his head. There was a red light that swept through the room, revealed only by the foggy illumination that the moonlight provided indicating that the man had it positioned at the center of Scott’s forehead. The threat did nothing to intimidate Scott as he raised his chin defiantly in order to match the man’s madness, “I warned her against it. I told her that you were the one to worry about—that you were one without a soul to break, but she wouldn’t listen.”

“And now here we are with you bending the knee to another messiah who will undoubtedly lead you down the path to destruction,” Scott taunted making a small step forward. His movement practically dared the man to make a move—to do damage upon him, but the man hadn’t moved. Instead he snarled down at Scott, revealing nothing more about his thoughts when Logan realized that there were six others in the open atrium with Scott closing in on him. They surrounded him, giving with their movement an air of intimidation as Scott’s defiant laugh filled the darkness that surrounded them.

“Is this the best you’ve got?” Scott questioned seemingly unimpressed with the man’s tactics when the guards started to move in closer to Scott. They were trying to surround them—to ambush and overpower them even though the overhead guard had a gun aimed right on Scott. For them it wasn’t about killing him quickly. It was about torturing him and making him understand the weight of his actions, but for Scott, he hadn’t moved—hadn’t even bothered to respond when Logan surveyed the hall that he was in. To his left was another hallway leading back towards the parking lot, but to his right he discovered a door with a sign beside it that indicated that the stairs were just beyond his reach. Looking to Scott again, Logan realized that the guards were pacing around him, walking in slow, calculated circles and moving in closer as it was clear that they were ready to make him pay for their fallen comrades.

“You made a big mistake coming here tonight Summers,” the man snarled keeping his gun pointed at Scott, yet he stood still simply observing Scott’s positioning beneath him.

“Perhaps,” Scott shrugged dropping his arms down by his sides as if he hadn’t had a care in the world at that moment in time. Instead he seemed bored by his situation, unphased by his surroundings, “but the longer we sit here talking about this, the less likely you are going to be able to teach me my lesson.”

“Your lesson has yet to begin,” the man promised with a cool, sadistic smirk. His finger pressed over the trigger of the gun, curling in ever so slightly before a laugh spilled over his lips, “but once it begins, I’m going to enjoy watching you burn.”

“Take your best shot because if you don’t take it now, then you’re going to miss your opportunity to kill me,” Scott dared the man to do him in with the gun—to bring an end to Scott’s intrusion upon their lives, but the more Scott seemed to taunt the man before him, the less inclined he was to take the bait opting instead to wave with his free hand for the other guards to move in closer to Scott.

“Markus wants you alive,” the man explained with disappointment evident in his tone, “He feels that it would be best to keep you that way until he’s able to deal with you himself.”

“Ah, so once again you are truly a slave to a master who is tugging you around by your leash,” Scott laughed wildly, waving his hand around in the air as if the conclusion made perfect sense, “What would Abaddon think now to see you subservient to a new master?”

“She would wish to dine on your flesh and bathe in your blood after I make you burn,” the man retorted bringing his gun up once again when it was clear that Scott had hit his mark pushing his buttons. It was then that Logan realized Scott had been working the man. He’d been digging deeper looking to exploit the man’s weakness and just like that, he’d found it causing the man’s face to contort looking wild and unhinged, “She would reward me greatly for delivering your head on a spike to her.”

“She’ll never see the light of day outside the walls of the prison she’s in,” Scott answered smugly unable to resist to throw a sharper jab out at the sadistic man before him, “I’ve made sure of that.”

“You can’t keep her in a cage,” the man wailed with anger when it became clear that he was losing his grip on his control.

“Watch me,” Scott took a bold step forward undoubtedly taunting the man further when the others that surrounded Scott began to move in closer. Laughing, Scott tipped his head back looking up at the man who’d made the other Logan’s life a living hell, “You’ve got one shot to finish this otherwise you’re going to die tonight.”

“That’s not happening,” the man chortled with disbelief clearly amused by Scott’s confidence, yet conflicted between being wildly furious and ironically pleased by Scott’s dark defiance. It was in Scott’s movements that the man found himself more enthralled than ever moving in closer to the edge of the walkway. He shook his head and laughed when Scott stretched his arms out at his side, offering himself up at an open target to the man who’d brought so much pain and torment to Logan’s life.

“Last chance,” Scott warned. HIs outstretched palms were spread wide out, offering up a clear shot to the man with the gun. It seemed that Scott had lost his mind, caught up in a moment of sheer insanity when his outstretched fingers parted and wiggled tauntingly at the sadistic guard.

“Get him!” the man ordered with a snarl. Standing up straighter the man discarded the weapon before moving in towards the edge of the walkway he was on. He leaned over the edge raising his own hand to reveal the glowing fingers before him as the men around Scott closed in upon him, “Tear him apart!”

“No!” Logan shouted preparing to move into the room when he watched the guards close in upon by Scott. His words were lost, however, as the shouting men prepared to tear Scott apart before him. One by one they attempted to grab him, to shoot at him and attack him, but Scott was too fast. He dodged their bullets, carefully sidestepping their punches when it was clear that he was possessed by a force unlike any Logan had ever witnessed before. With each attempt they made at taking Scott under, Logan watched as Scott managed to overpower the guards taking them down in hand to hand combat until finally Scott stood in the center of the atrium with arms outstretched again in order to address the man with the glowing fingers above him.

“Like I said…” Scott smirked widely, finally revealing his bloodied face to Logan as Scott stepped into the light. Scott was still speaking to the man above, but in his movements, he carried with him a certain finesse and sense of skill that Logan had often heard of, but never truly witnessed until that moment in time. In his old-world, Scott had seemed reserved—almost afraid of his powers to the point that he’d held back, but in this world even without using his powers Scott was a force to be reckoned with. Going into combat hadn’t appeared to even cause him to break into a sweat when the man that had terrified Logan and helped to torture Clint stood before him staring Scott down with his vile, angry scowl, “you probably should have killed me when you had the chance”

“Don’t worry I will not let that mistake go without remedy after tonight,” the man’s voice perked up with a gleeful laughter when Logan could clearly spot an army of guards moving in behind where the man stood. They were just beyond the double doors of the walkway pushing through into the atrium with weapons on hand in a rush of stomping feet and angry shouts indicating that they’d been expecting Scott. With a blink of his eyes, Logan realized there had to be at least thirty of them pushing through the overhead walkway and twenty more rushing out into the atrium surrounding Scott with far more manpower than he could deal with. Each one was ready for a fight, poised for revenge and armed with fury over the ways that Scott had ‘wronged’ them, “I don’t care what Markus wants. Tonight, you die Cyclops!”

In an instant panic carried over Logan, pulling from his position of observation and into action. He rushed up across the darkened corridor, pushing open the door to the stairs. With a quick leap he scaled the steps two at a time hoping like hell that in his hesitation he hadn’t given the enemy the opportunity to destroy Scott. With the furious pounding of his heart, he found himself ascending the steps, pounding on the hard linoleum before him with one goal in mind—saving Cyclops.

* * *

  
  
“I don’t care what Markus wants. Tonight, you die Cyclops!” the words resonated in Scott’s mind, taking him from calm and collected in his surroundings to standing in the center of an army of soldiers brought together with one goal in mind in destroying him.

As Scott looked around the room realizing there had to be over fifty men staring him down. They were all moving in upon him all wanting a literal pound of flesh from him after the way he’d taken down their delusional, sadistic leader. It was in that moment that Scott found himself focusing on his conversation with Markus in the computer room. At the time he’d felt the other man’s amusement knowing only too well that he had been issued a challenge. Markus had been testing him, but in doing so Markus had presented Scott with a situation where he’d believed Scott was due to fail.

Now surrounded by a force of untapped rage, Scott found himself reflecting on his mission—thinking to the way that he’d effectively pissed Markus off in cutting off their conversation. At the time it had been a means of getting the job done, but now with more than fifty men surrounding him each one of them ready to tear him to pieces, Scott realized that the challenge had just begun. Unable to help himself, he burst into hysterical laughter catching his tormenter off guard as the others awaited further instruction.

“What the hell are you laughing at?” the man overhead questioned with a snarl, “Did you not hear what I said to you?”

“Oh, I heard you Hagan,” Scott spat out in between laughs, “I heard every word of it.”

“Then why the hell are you laughing?” Hagan questioned with a snarl. His lips pinched together drawing emphasis to his deep-set eyes and sharp jawline reflected in the moonlight. His long, dark hair swept over the side of his face framing him in darkness while the other side of his face that looked down at Scott revealed the tattoo that had marked him as part of Abaddon’s gang.

“Because I find it to be the funniest thing I’ve heard in a very long time,” Scott chortled with wild laughter, turning from his stoic, strategic persona to a man fueled by determination and faced with a mission that most undoubtedly expected him to fail. He took a bold step forward curling his fingers into a fist before he stretched his index finger up towards the narcissistic man who’d taken a great many liberties at torturing both Logan and Clint in their time up north, “Just know when I’m finished warming up down here I’m coming for you.”

The man simply sneered down at Scott, unable to come up with a witty retort when Scott wiggled his finger out in the air once again.

“I never thought to ask,” Scott taunted the man further, poking at him just enough to get him to lose sight of his taunts in order to give in to his anger, “How is your face healing? I know that the last time we met I nicked you a bit but…”

Almost immediately the man sneered, turning his head and causing his long, black hair to fall away from his face just enough to reveal the deep scarring that had remained after Scott’s blast had damn near taken half of his face off him. Hagan reached up to touch the wound as if to mourn the chunk that had been taken out of his skin knowing only too well that despite his past of being Abaddon’s most praised, beautiful henchman with a penchant for luring unsuspecting victims with his beauty, Scott had stolen that from him much like Hagan had stolen Clint and Logan’s sense of security and stability. Now as Scott glared up at the man who’d damn near ruined them all in favor of pleasing his queen, Scott flashed him an icy smirk knowing that he’d effectively stolen the thing that Abaddon had admired the most about her henchman in his face.

“You’re going to die Cyclops!” Hagan sneered leaning forward and causing his hair to cover his wound again as if the action alone could block out the shame and humiliation that he’d endured at losing his external beauty in his madness.

“Not if I can help it!” Logan snarled bursting through the double doors of the walkway with claws out, slashing and ripping at the guards before him without hesitation. One by one the guards in front of Logan fell over the side of the walkway, spilling out onto the atrium floor with a cascade of blood spilling onto the beige colored carpet. Relentlessly Logan slashed into their flesh, not giving a damn about consequence when Scott looked up and realized that Clint hadn’t been able to stop Logan from entering the building.

“Damn it,” Scott cursed preparing to move forward when the wave of guards moved in around him on the atrium floor, closing in on Scott to overpower him now that he’d been caught off guard by Logan’s arrival. Blocking Logan’s entrance out of his mind, Scott focused on the fight—on the thing that mattered most as he was aware of the overhead cameras watching the battle playing out before him. Enraged, the guards came for him more than one at a time as he put his skills to work, overpowering them in hand to hand combat until he heard a snarl from up above. Looking up, he’d discovered that Logan had taken out more than half of the guards as Hagan slowly began to back up towards the doors the guards had emerged from.

“Oh no you don’t,” Scott leapt up in the air, for the first time using his powers to knock down an overhead ceiling beam and causing it to collapse over the gang’s former henchman dropping him down to the walkway’s floor before eight men jumped on Scott’s back to pull him down to the ground.

“No!” Logan roared leaping off the walkway and charging forward with claws slashing everywhere. With each swing of his fists, he sent men down, discarding them on his path until he was standing before Scott preparing to assist him in his quest.

“Damn it, Logan,” Scott’s angered voice rose through the pile of men, pushing them off him when Logan moved in beside Scott. Frustrated Scott used his powers to strike them down, slamming them up against the far wall of the atrium as Logan moved into position behind him. Without any thought to direction they were back to back battling the men set on destroying them, “I told Clint to get you out of here.”

“I wasn’t going to let you have all the fun,” Logan answered with a half laugh, attempting to make light of the situation as his claws pushed through the chest of one of the guards rushing towards them. The man collapsed to the ground before another guard charged at Logan ready to strike, “Besides, when am I one to listen to a foolish order like that?”

“You and I really need to talk about your insubordination when this is all over,” Scott replied as they spun around the room together working as a unit to take out the others until finally they were the only two men standing in the room.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Logan questioned finally facing Scott again when his sneer turned into a grimace, “You would’ve gotten yourself killed if you did this on your own.”

“I was doing just fine before you got here,” Scott answered stubbornly puffing his chest out, “If you would’ve just let me handle this…”

“Not a chance,” Logan bridged the distance between them. His snarl indicated that he was angry about being left out of the loop, but as Scott looked up at the blinking cameras above them, he found himself met by a new challenge in knowing Markus was watching like a voyeur in taking it all in, “Whether you want to admit it or not, you need me Slim.”

“What I need right now is…” Scott began preparing to offer up a lashing to Logan when a sound from up above caused both men to take pause.

“…to know your place,” Hagan announced as his dark eyes were now a bright orange color. His hands were glowing from deep within causing them to give off a bright, orange illuminance as his lips curved downward in a deep, heavy set scowl, “Howlett, how kind of you to join us. Here I thought you and I would never get the opportunity to be united again after your plaything decided to break us up out of spite and jealousy.”

“Screw you Hagan,” Logan sneered glaring up at the man who’d wrecked his counterpart and feasted upon Logan’s damaged flesh simply for kicks. Now as Logan found himself faced with the darkness that had surrounded the other him’s life, he found himself in a position to control it. His mind was filled with rage, caught up in the other him’s sense of helplessness, but it was in knowing his own strength that Logan rushed away from Scott, springing up over the registration desk to take Hagan out head on.

“Logan don’t! Stand down! That’s an order!” Scott shouted rushing forward to keep Logan from losing himself to his anger, but it was no use. His words were lost as Logan prepared to battle the man who’d tormented the other him in this world.

“I’ve been dreaming about this for a very long time,” Hagan confessed licking his lips again in torment as he moved through the littered walkway focusing on Logan before him. He tossed his head to the side revealing his mangled face once again, “I’ve longed for another taste of you.”

The words caused Logan to snarl, springing up from the walkway to come crashing down through the air with claws out when Scott realized something had snapped inside of his companion. There was something in his face that was twisted and far from rationality when Scott realized that Logan had lost sight of himself.

“Logan no!” Scott shouted attempting to get Logan to stand down when his claws went to work cutting and slashing at Hagan to eviscerate him in his anger. With each slash, the glow in Hagan’s hands grew brighter, causing him to laugh as Logan’s claws seemed to make little to no impact on the maniacal man before him. Instead Hagan’s hand pushed forward driving deep into Logan’s abdomen and causing him to cry out in agony. Logan’s arms flailed, his body bucking wildly when Logan seemed to realize his rage was ineffective in stopping the man before him. With a heaving breath, Logan slashed out before him attempting to stab at Hagan’s eyes—to blind him as Hagan’s hand pushed deeper into Logan’s ribcage sending with it the violent heat that surrounded him. It was enough to cause Logan to shudder and shake, weighed down by the other mutant’s tormenting powers. Logan slashed again aiming for Hagan’s eyes once more, but before he could follow through on his actions, Hagan brought his hand up in the air effectively picking Logan up and slamming him into the wall at the far end of the atrium in a display of his telekinetic powers.

“My turn,” Hagan practically giggled bringing his blood covered hands out to the canvas Logan would provide him ready to do his worst to him once again. However, before Hagan could take his shot at Logan in his weakened condition, Scott sent a sharp blast up through the atrium hitting the walkway’s foundation and causing the floor beneath Hagan to crumble to pieces. It sent the man down to the ground, slamming hard against the main flooring when Scott approached him.

“I’m not finished here,” Scott announced carefully sending his blast directly into the center of Hagan’s chest and blasting him through the atrium out into the night beyond the walls of the warehouse. Undeterred in his actions, Scott could hear the sound of Logan coughing from behind him, could still remember he way he’d witnessed Logan ripped apart and torn to shreds by the deplorable man that Abaddon had deemed her sweet prince, “It’s time you pay for your crimes.”

Again, Scott sent another blast into Hagan causing him to spill out across the concrete scraping the right side of his body on the cold, jagged pavement in the movement. With the blast, Hagan hit an exterior light pole hard causing it to crash down onto the concrete beside him. It sparked and popped with the sound of the exposed wires all the while causing Hagan to scramble to crawl over the concrete away from Scott in his anger.

“What’s wrong?” Scott questioned in a harsh, angry tone no longer holding on to the muted rage that had long since consumed him from their time up north, “Afraid to challenge a man who is your equal? Aren’t sure you can measure up?”

“You son of a bitch,” Hagan sneered behind bloodied lips attempting to use his telekinetic powers against Scott, but it did him no good. Instead Scott shot a beam straight across the side of Hagan’s face effectively reopening the wound he’d created a short while ago. It caused blood to pour down the side of Hagan’s fragmented flesh, drawing emphasis to the fact that Hagan was no closer to being a man than he’d been when he took pleasure upon torturing those Scott had cared about on their ill-fated mission.

“Get up!” Scott ordered sending a warning blast at Hagan’s feet again, taunting him as a wave of power flooded through him, “Get up now!”

“I’m going to kill you!” Hagan spat out, using his powers to pull himself up off the ground. With a wave of his hand, he sent an invisible force out across the lot preparing to prevent Scott from attacking, but Scott had been ready for it. He planted his feet firmly on the ground, using his powers to counterattack as the sparks from the broken light caused the world to light up around them. The night sky was somehow brighter as the battle for retribution took place in the warehouse parking lot, pushing Scott closer to a darkness that he’d kept buried deep inside of him for so very long.

“Not if I don’t kill you first,” Scott promised preparing to do everything in his power to end the madness that had ripped away at his team once and for all.

* * *

  
  


A deep, resonating cough carried over Logan’s lips causing him to choke on the blood that was caught up in the back of his throat. Looking down he could see that his shirt was torn to shreds and his chest was ripped open. Blood was spilling from his exposed lungs indicating the tear that Hagan had placed there in their battle. Clumsily Logan reached down attempting to apply pressure to his body when the sounds of fighting from outside of the warehouse drew his attention to the fact that Scott was no longer in the building. Staggering to get up off the ground, Logan gripped onto his chest and abdomen hoping like hell that his healing factor would kick in as his coughs grew in frequency. With each step he took, he found himself moving towards the side of the shattered walkway. He struggled to stand up on his feet, to force himself to keep pushing forward, but as he held his lung in hand, listening to the deep wheezing sound that spilled from his chest, he found that he wasn’t healing fast enough. His heart was beating rapidly—he could see as much as it was revealed to him through the hole in his chest showing a side of him that he’d seldom come to pay attention to. In the past he was down, but not out very long when a battle was particularly grueling. Now as he staggered across the broken walkway, he looked up to the moon finding himself caught up in another time and place.

 _“You need to listen to me Logan,”_ Scott’s voice echoed in the back of his mind, _“You can’t keep doing stupid things just because you think you’re invincible.”_

“Says the man who has been trying to kill himself since he lost Jean,” Logan had argued when the two had faced off with one another after a mission. They’d both been stubborn, caught up in a world of anger after they’d lost the woman they’d fought over, but at that moment when Logan was getting lectured about ignoring a direct command he hadn’t thought was worth listening to, he’d found that he’d paid dearly for it as the last twenty minutes or so he’d been the recipient of Scott’s anger.

“You aren’t in charge here. I am and what I say is how it goes,” Scott’s angry voice had vibrated through the blackbird causing the others to long since leave them alone to hash out their anger. It had been a simple mission that hadn’t led to dire consequences, but with Scott’s fury at the heart of it threatening to tear Logan apart limb for limb, Logan found that he’d been given a new reason for living.

“You aren’t the boss of me,” Logan had challenged knowing only too well that his defiance would enrage his team leader drawing Scott from that place of despair to the fury that had once guided him on in their time together.

“Actually in this instance I am because I’m your squad leader,” Scott had countered roaring into a long winded lecture about team dynamics and the hierarchy of the team, but his words were lost as Logan found himself focusing on the ripe, lush angry lips of the man before him. It seemed that the angrier Scott was getting, the redder they got causing Logan’s blood to pump harder in his chest when his animal instincts began to take charge.

When Jean had been around Logan had known that Scott had used his anger as a tool to hide what he was thinking and feeling, but Logan knew better. It hadn’t been entirely jealousy that had motived Scott’s actions. It had been something that ran far deeper—something that only someone with Logan’s heightened sense of smell and primitive instincts had understood. With every angry flap of Scott’s plump, luscious lips Logan knew full well that it was lust pure and simple and now as Logan was taking his lashing from the bereaved leader, he found that it was ever present in their exchange.

“Are you listening to me?” Scott had questioned in an impatient tone giving Logan reason to fall into instinct as he’d bridged the distance between them moving in for the kill at long last.

“Loud and clear,” Logan had answered readily all the while pulling the enraged field leader into his arms and kissing him with all the fire and intensity that he could muster up. At the time Logan had thought he would end up being punched for it or blasted into the next universe at the height of Scott’s rage and torment, but much to his surprise and delight Scott had kissed him back hard and determined, relentless in his response before readily opening the door to what had followed in their romance in its early beginnings.

Now as Logan slumped down onto the floor, struggling to keep himself up against the wall of the walkway, he found himself gasping for breath. There was a slow hissing sound spilling from his lungs intermingled with a gurgling in his windpipe that caused his chest to tighten and constrict. He reopened his eyes taking himself from the memory of his Scott from his old world to the present where he’d put himself in a position to lose it all. Gripping tightly at his chest, he fought to control his breathing, to stay calm and will himself to simply allow his healing factor to kick in, but when it proved a futile effort he winced in pain.

“Damn it, Logan,” Scott’s voice filled his thoughts taking him from the agony of being torn apart to the warmth of a hand against the side of his face. Lifting his chin up Logan discovered Scott at his side knelt beside him with a worried expression on his face. His lips were curved downward and there was no mistaking the scent of fear that carried over him when he began to assess Logan’s situation.

“Slim…” Logan spoke up in a raspy, wheezing tone, “Slim I…”

“You fucked up,” Scott finished reaching out to place his hands over Logan’s chest, as if the movement alone would stop the bleeding and the obvious injury that Logan was given, “Damn it. Why couldn’t you just leave with Clint?”

“And let you have all the fun?” Logan laughed closing his eyes again as a cough resonated deep in his chest. It caused him to spit out blood, sending it spraying in droplets across the already soiled carpet.

“You call this fun?” Scott’s voice chided him as his hands came close to holding the place over Logan’s exposed beating heart.

“At least tell me we won,” Logan coughed reopening his eyes to see the concern that carried over Scott’s blood-soaked features. Scott was grimacing behind his position on his knees, revealing the blood that carried over the front of his uniform. It was then that Logan realized that Scott’s shirt had been torn open at the abdomen effectively ripping his stitches open in his fight with Hagan, “Damn it Slim. You’re bleeding.”

“Says the man who has his chest ripped open,” Scott mouthed with an air of agitation in his voice. His fingers gripped harder on Logan’s chest hoping to apply pressure as Logan let out a low, rumble of a laugh.

“I always told you that you held my heart in your hands,” Logan couldn’t help, but tease despite the ache that carried over him. His body was growing cold, his senses dulling as he raised his chin up to see the way that Scott was watching him in the moment, “God, you’re beautiful.”

“And you’re an idiot,” Scott shook his head disapprovingly, “I told you that I had this.”

“No, you didn’t,” Logan coughed causing his head to fall back against the wall once again, “Admit it you couldn’t do this without me.”

“I spent years doing this without…” Scott started to argue before rethinking his words. He softened his tone as his blood-soaked right hand reached out to touch the side of Logan’s face, “You’re right. I couldn’t do it without you.”

“Told you,” Logan’s laugh rumbled in his chest causing the hissing sound to grow and expand revealing even greater damage than he’d anticipated when he’d first been taken down at Hagan’s hand. Letting out a small gurgling sound, he gasped for air, “At least tell me that you took his fucking head off.”

“He won’t be going anywhere anytime soon,” Scott promised gently pushing his fingers into Logan’s wild, unruly hair, “He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“The only thing that could ever truly hurt me is losing you Slim,” Logan’s tired eyes reopened to see Scott before him watching Logan with concern and a troubled expression on his face.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Scott promised pushing his fingers into the edge of Logan’s hair just beyond his scalp. The light massage of Scott’s fingers caused Logan to moan, but in his broken state it came out sounding like a raspy purr when the warmth of Scott’s breath carried over Logan’s face causing him to focus on his companion beside him.

“Promise me?” Logan questioned in a quiet whirr of sound.

“As long as you don’t leave me, then I swear that I’ll always be here with you,” Scott promised choked up on emotion that Logan knew full well Scott wouldn’t dare offer in their surroundings if Logan hadn’t been in such a tentative position.

“Slim?” Logan questioned lazily bringing his free hand up from the floor where he’d somehow dropped it a short while earlier. It was a struggle to raise it as the weight of his bones seemed to be dragging him down.

“What Logan?” Scott questioned stroking the side of Logan’s face again.

“If this doesn’t go good…if we don’t get the chance…” Logan coughed again feeling an icy chill working its way up over his thighs and abdomen coiling into his chest.

“We’ll get that chance,” Scott promised holding his face harder, “You just need to think about what kind of penance you’re going to pay for insubordination. You can’t just go disobeying a direct order like that when I tell you to do something. I’m still your commander and…”

“Would you just do a dying man a favor and shut up?” Logan argued reopening his eyes to discover that a single tear had slipped past Scott’s cheek revealing that perhaps their situation was far more dire than Logan had initially anticipated, “Hey…”

“You shut up,” Scott leaned in closer to him, doing his best to keep the bleeding under control in Logan, “We’re going to get you out of here and…”

“No,” Logan shook his head readily accepting his dark fate, “we aren’t. We both know that…”

“You aren’t getting out of this without repercussions. I’m going to make you pay for your blatant disregard of my authority with your insubordination and…,” Scott’s voice returned to the same angry, stoic tone that Logan had known quite well during their time together. Scott was attempting to go into hard ass leader mode—to push his feelings aside long enough to ignore the things that they weren’t saying to one another, but it was clear in his trembling voice that Scott was losing his grip on his ironclad control.

“Just kiss me already,” Logan interrupted forcing his eyes open once again as Scott hovered over him looking lost at Logan’s side now that their actions had faced dire consequences.

“Logan…” Scott opened his mouth to argue, to say something more when it seemed he was caught up in the weight of the moment. With a small nod, Scott finally leaned forward still holding Logan’s cheek in his hand as their lips collided in a tender, brush of a kiss.

At first Logan thought he’d imagined it as the tenderness behind the gesture caused both men to take pause, to simply revel in the slow, tender, gentle tease as it caused goosebumps to form over Logan’s cooling flesh. The softness of Scott’s supple lips only served to heighten the tender ease at which Scott reached out to Logan, taking his time to leave no inch of Logan uncharted in his explorations. It was then that Logan truly realized as talented as he’d believed Scott Summers to be with his mouth in their earlier encounters, it paled in comparison to his soft, dreamy, thoughtful kiss. With every light brush of Scott’s skilled tongue and soft graze of his teeth over Logan’s mouth, it brought forth a bristling rush of sensation. Soft warmth filled Logan from the inside taking him from his pain to pure bliss when Scott’s kiss surrounded him. Logan opened his mouth to the kiss feeling Scott’s plump bottom lip catch between his lips, gently sucking and nibbling upon Logan’s skin as if he too was fueled by the unquenched thirst—by the untamed desire that burned brightly between them despite their dark exchange with the others. Opening his mouth wider, Logan felt Scott’s skilled tongue dart inside in slow, sweeping, searching flicks, sweet and tantalizing until Logan’s damn near impossible to use hand was somehow sliding up and reaching out until it was buried in the back of Scott’s hair. He grunted into the kiss, tugging on the short strands of Scott’s damp, dark blood-soaked hair to guide him in closer—to bring Scott against him harder as the one thing they’d simply denied each other suddenly surrounded them filling the air with buzzing warmth and bristling sensation. All at once everything inside of Logan tingled taking him from his internal torment to a state of bliss caught up in the taste of the one man that neither time nor place could steal from his heart.

“Scott…” Logan whispered in a shivering exhale as his head fell back into the cracked, bloodstained wall behind him. His body was still broken, but his mind was buzzing with possibilities thinking about all that he’d waited for now that he and Scott had reached that point of intimacy with one another.

“Shh…” Scott pressed his thumb over the center of Logan’s kiss-swelled bottom lip to silence him. His long, skilled fingers stretched out over the side of Logan’s face stroking the stubble over his cheekbone gingerly, “save your strength.”

“I just…” Logan’s muffled words pressed upon the pad of Scott’s thumb tasting Scott’s tantalizing skin beneath the touch.

“I know,” Scott mouthed gently brushing his thumb over Logan’s bottom lip again and again.

“No, you don’t. You don’t see that…” Logan struggled to get the words out wanting to say so much more when the sound of rubble in the distance caused Scott to pull back.

“We aren’t finished Cyclops!” Hagan roared rising through the air with arms raised. His hands were glowing bright orange, sending the force of his power down over his forearms as he was levitating and enraged by the very sight of Scott before him. He moved through the air coming at Scott and Logan at full speed preparing to tear them to pieces when a sound shot through the air, splintering the room around them until with a loud, splattering thump Hagan’s lifeless body collapsed on the ground with a sharp, jagged arrow shot through his eye. It pushed deep into his brain no more than three feet from where Logan sat bleeding out in Scott’s arms.

“We are now you son of a bitch,” Clint’s voice announced as Logan listened to the sound of his friend moving through the rubble in the atrium. Within seconds Clint had sprung up on his heels over the registration desks kicking at Hagan’s collapsed form with a sharp, fury behind his movement. Instinctively he reached for his bow again and reloaded shooting another arrow straight into the back of the dead man’s head. Clint’s twisted face was divided by anger, fear and a slow sense of relief when he finally took the time to exhale the breath that he’d held onto in witnessing his lifeless tormenter at his feet.

“Clint…” Scott spoke his name in a desperate attempt to bring their colleague’s focus back to them with Logan still on the floor bleeding out. For a moment it appeared that Scott’s words were lost when Clint seemed lost inside of himself. He stood shaking over Hagan’s corpse battling the demons inside of him that now ran wild in his subconscious over the endless of hours of torment he’d experienced long after the Canadian mission had come to an end. It was clear in his composure that this resolution had a profound impact on his torment with his face distant, his eyes lost, but as Scott spoke his name, he lifted his chin just enough to see the two men on the floor.

“Logan…” Clint blinked a few times, pushing past the memory of the demented man who’d tormented them to join Scott on the floor to aid in his quest to save Logan. Without question, dropped to his knees and he reached out to squeeze at Logan’s chest hoping to keep Logan together long enough for them to put this part of their nightmare behind him.

“Hey partner,” Logan coughed weakly as his head dropped in Clint’s direction, “Long time no see.”

“I would’ve gotten here faster if you hadn’t thought to knock me flat out on my ass,” Clint teased in response offering a sad smile. His shaking fingers gripped onto Logan’s chest hoping to help contain the damage when the hissing sound spilled from Logan’s lungs making his wounds more apparent with each passing second.

“Couldn’t let you get in my way…” Logan coughed. A gurgling sound soon followed in the back of his throat when his head fell back against the wall again.

“We need to get him out of here,” Scott explained in a clear, concise tone when Logan’s gasps grew more labored indicating he was in far more trouble than either had anticipated. With a firm grip on Logan’s chest, Scott’s face drained of all color, but his voice was firm and authoritative as Clint had arrived to help him, “We need to get him to a hospital. We need to get an ambulance out here and…”

“I’ll do you one better,” Maria’s voice announced as she moved out of the double doors closest to where they trio of men were on the ground fighting to assist Logan. In a rush, she moved out further onto the broken walkway pushing past the blood and carnage of the attackers to kneel beside Logan.

“We don’t have much time,” Scott started to speak up as Maria reached into her pocket shuffling her fingers around in a frenzy, “We have to get him out of here.”

“I’m aware. I’ve already called for help, but this…” she paused reaching into her pocket and pulling a vial and a syringe out hastily. She worked to fill the syringe with the blue glowing liquid that was within the vial, “This should help.”

“What is that?” Scott questioned as he watched Maria finish filling the syringe with the mystery liquid.

“It’s our Hail Mary,” she answered cryptically, “This could go either way, but it might help.”

As silence surrounded the group, Maria set the vial aside, placing it down on the floor beyond Logan’s thigh. With a small breath, she looked to Logan on the ground again and reached out to touch his bloodied arm, “I’m not going to lie to you. I can’t promise that this will work. This isn’t what Markus was working on in his lab, but it might stabilize some of the effects of the Euphoria and possibly reverse some of the damage.”

“How did you get your hands on that?” Scott questioned watching her pull Logan’s arm off the ground.

“It’s best if we don’t discuss it,” Maria nodded over towards Clint indicating that it was best for him to follow her lead, “I need you to hold him down because this is going to go in hard.”

“Right,” Clint readily sprung into action, reaching out to position Logan as Maria placed Logan’s arm over her lap.

“What is that?” Scott helplessly asked again watching Maria reach out to administer the syringe into Logan’s arm, “Is that some kind of cure?”

“I wouldn’t call it a cure exactly, but it should be something that can slow all of this down long enough for us to get him somewhere that can actually help the situation. I brought it with me just in case things soured,” she explained jabbing the needle into Logan’s arm before asking his permission to do so, “It’s still in the early developmental stages and…”

“…you just thought to tell us about this now,” Scott replied with an angry scowl watching as Logan’s head rolled to the side and he let out a pinched moan. Looking down as the blue liquid was injected into Logan’s vein, Scott seemed more uncomfortable in the situation, “Why in the hell didn’t you say anything about having that before we…?”

“It isn’t stable Scott. It’s a risk that I wasn’t sure that we should take but considering the situation we’re not really in a position to discuss semantics when he needs immediate attention. We need to get this into him and…,” Maria threw her hands up in the air once she’d administered the drug.

“Where did you get it?” Scott demanded once again.

“From a S.H.I.E.L.D. lab,” she finally divulged as Logan’s lips parted further expelling a sharp, hissing sound that caused his body to shake and shudder, “I stole the sample to begin with as it is still a prototype and…”

“You let me believe that the only way to accomplish all of this was to come in here and face them. You said that the only way to help Logan was to get inside and…” Scott’s face twisted with fury over her new revelation when Logan’s body grew colder beside them on the floor.

“Scott, I was going to tell you about the serum after we did this, but…” Maria attempted to defend her actions as Clint held Logan down struggling to keep him from giving in to the tremors that rocked over his body. She raised her head up looking over at Clint again as the two reached out to help Scott with Logan, “Right now we need to focus on getting him out of here. The serum will hold for a bit, but he still needs medical attention and…”

“I’ll be fine,” Logan attempted to make light of the situation between them, “Just find me a healer and…”

“It’s not that simple,” Scott answered solemnly, “I wish it were, but…”

“But what?” Logan questioned with a heaving breath.

“The Euphoria has inhibited your healing factor,” Maria revealed poignantly, “If anything it has reversed it and you aren’t healing like you should. Everything inside of you is going against your DNA and…”

“Slim…” Logan swallowed down hard preparing to find his focus again when the room around him started to spin. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out as his body grew suddenly cold. He looked over to Scott attempting to say something more to the man he loved, but before he could speak up a heaviness carried over his chest taking with him a heaving, gasping breath as the world around him fell to black. 


	18. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott finds himself filled with rage and regret over the things that he never said or did with Logan in their time together.

**Regret:** _to_ _feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity)._

  
“Why haven’t we heard anything yet?” Scott questioned pacing around the empty waiting room. With each step he took, he found himself sinking into a dark void, lost in a sea of emptiness when the one thing that mattered the most in this world had been ripped away from without warning.

_“If this doesn’t go good…if we don’t get the chance…”_

Logan’s words haunted him…tearing him to pieces as the weight of those words echoed in his mind, swirling into the darkest places revealing a light upon the one thing he stood to lose in this painful journey. With a shaky breath and an aching heart, Scott feared it was too late…that everything he’d hoped to find in Logan’s arms was lost in an instant stealing the promise of forever that Logan had offered to him time and time again.

_“You need me. Face it Slim.”_

With a gasp Scott turned away from the sight of Maria standing in the corner of the room talking on her phone to whomever she deemed important enough to share the moment with. However, it was in the emptiness Scott felt surround him that he found himself taken from his surroundings and transported to a place when the world had been far different than the one that he’d surrounded himself by.

_“Logan, what are you doing here?” Scott questioned turning around to face the man that he’d been avoiding for the last few days leading up to his upcoming wedding to Jean. With a shaky hand, he reached out to push the fitting room curtain open half expecting to discover Logan in a rage, but instead Logan stood before Scott with his shoulders rolled back and his chest puffed out as if he was working up the courage to say something dire and of the upmost importance. It seemed that with the impending nuptials Logan was behaving strangely—more strangely than usual as Scott found himself facing the man that he’d grown closer to over the last few months._

_“We need to talk Slim,” Logan’s voice was strained, his face clouded by uncharacteristic tension. He reached up to tug at the collar of the shirt he was wearing, clearing his throat as Logan’s right hand rubbed incessantly at his own thigh, attempting to work up the courage to say something._

_“What’s on your mind?” Scott questioned in a smooth, even tone knowing only too well that his suit fitting wasn’t exactly the place for Logan to be confronting him, but then again as team leader he was never really afforded the luxury of time off._

_“You,” Logan answered as Scott turned around to face the mirror once again. Scott’s fingers worked over his tie, fighting to keep his thoughts under control when Logan approached him from behind._

_“What about me?” Scott replied working his fingers over the red silken tie that Jean had picked out for their upcoming nuptials. At the time she’d been so pleased with her selection stating how wonderfully the tie would go with his glasses, but as Scott’s fingers fumbled over the silken fabric, he found that he would’ve settled for something simpler like a clip on bowtie. Knowing that Logan was watching him only added to the pressure causing Scott’s fingers to fumble further clumsy and awkward when Logan stood behind him._

_“I needed to see you,” Logan replied in an uneasy tone._

_“Yes, I got that much Logan,” Scott nodded letting out a frustrated breath when he released the edges of his tie._

_“Let me help you with that,” Logan suggested pushing his way into the fitting room and invading Scott’s space in ways he hadn’t anticipated upon Logan’s arrival, “Turn towards me.”_

_“Logan that’s not really necessary. I can…” Scott sighed realizing that his companion was already going to work doing up his tie with expert ease._

_“Live long enough and these are nothing,” Logan shrugged working Scott’s tie into place. He tipped his head in towards Scott offering up a sly grin. Triumphantly Logan patted his fingers over the center of Scott’s chest, allowing them to linger over the tiny black buttons on the tuxedo shirt, “See piece of cake.”_

_“Right,” Scott nodded when Scott realized that Logan’s hand was still over the center of his chest causing something to stir inside of Scott that he hadn’t been able to ignore. In their latest round of exchanges it had been growing inside of him—becoming something that Scott had fought like hell to ignore, but now with Logan’s hand upon him, he found himself caught up in a moment wondering what the hell was happening to him. As if on cue Logan’s fingers pressed down over Scott’s muscled abdomen, sliding over the front of Scott’s shirt in a slow, teasing movement when Scott reached down to catch Logan’s wrist in his hand preventing any further movement from Logan, “What are you doing here?”_

_“You’re making a mistake Slim,” Logan announced brazenly. Taking advantage of their cramped quarters, Logan took a bold step forward causing Scott to move back and press up against the plastic wall of the makeshift fitting room, “We both know that you can’t keep denying what you truly want.”_

_“Logan…” Scott swallowed down hard licking his bottom lip when the heat of Logan’s body was suddenly pressed up against him, practically daring Scott to deny the fire that was burning between them. It hadn’t been the first time that he’d felt it, but Scott had hoped that it would certainly be the last now that his wedding was only a few days away._

_“You don’t love her like you want to believe you do,” Logan declared boldly, “Hell, Slim I know she’s special, but so are we…”_

_“Logan we aren’t…” Scott swallowed down hard finding it harder to breathe as the older mutant reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face daring Scott to ignore the obvious chemistry between them, “We can’t…”_

_“Why not?” Logan questioned with a painful expression on his face, “After everything that we’ve bene through together…after the things we’ve shared…”_

_“Because I love Jean and I owe it to her to…” Scott prepared to argue when he heard movement outside of the fitting room. With a labored breath, Scott found himself wondering if Hank would be returning—to check in on why Scott was taking so long, but almost as soon as the thought overtook him, Logan must’ve picked up on it. Reaching out to tug at the curtain Logan pulled it to a close giving them the luxury of privacy in their exchange._

_“You don’t owe her your life,” Logan half pleaded with him, “I know that you think that you’re obligated to be the man she expects you to be, but we both know…”_

_“What happened in Atlanta was a mistake,” Scott swallowed down hard hoping like hell to avoid the truth in their earlier exchanges, “That was something that shouldn’t have…”_

_“Don’t say that,” Logan practically begged of him, “Don’t write it off as something it wasn’t because we both know that…”_

_“I was confused,” Scott argued shaking the thought of the things they’d shared with one another, “If I’d been thinking clearly, then…”_

_“You wouldn’t be standing here right now trying to convince me that you didn’t feel it too,” Logan reached out to him once again. His fingers pushed into Scott’s thick, dark hair moving in closer to seek out the warmth of Scott’s mouth over his in their cramped quarters, “You wouldn’t have given yourself to temptation if you weren’t absolutely certain that…”_

_“That I want you?” Scott questioned with a low whimper as Logan’s lips skimmed over the surface of his, “I’m not denying that Logan, but Jean and I have history. We have a life together and…”_

_“When are you going to stop pretending that this is who you are?” Logan blurted out in an impassioned tone, “When are you going to stop playing it safe?”_

_“I’m not playing it safe,” Scott’s voice came out in a pinched hiss as Logan’s fingers gripped and held his head. He cradled Scott’s face as Logan’s eyes practically saw through him reaching down to a place that Scott had fought to keep locked down deep inside, “What happened in Atlanta was…”_

_“Something we both wanted,” Logan finished with a newfound determination in his tone, “I know that you were confused about what it meant after it happened, but…”_

_“I love Jean,” Scott forced himself to pull away from Logan. He lowered his head, his breath coming out in labored gasps as he felt Logan reach out to him again._

_“Not like you love me,” Logan declared gripping at the bend of Scott’s elbow and coaxing Scott to turn around and face him. With a quick rush of movement Scott found that he was pressed up against the mirror, his back slammed against the hard surface as Logan was closing in upon him with wild determination in his movement. Before Scott could question it, Logan was rubbing up against him, hands pushing in beneath Scott’s suit jacket to roughly paw at his torso—to grip at Scott’s hips and coax Scott to forget the promises he’d made to the woman he’d grown up with, “When are you going to stop being afraid of who you are and just give in to what you want?”_

_“Logan I…” Scott swallowed down hard, finding himself melting against the wild man’s touch upon him. With every urgent press and grip, he found himself slipping further falling from what the world thought him to be as Logan’s lips hovered in over his._

_“Stop living the life that the world expects you to have and be true to who you are—to who you really are in your heart,” Logan’s lips came crashing down upon Scott’s leaving him caught up in a wave of desire and temptation, helpless against the bold display that Logan had thrust upon him._

_If anything, Scott knew that he should pull away—that he should set Logan straight once and for all, but instead his arms surrounded Logan’s thick torso kissing him as if everything in the world was out of balance until he was in Logan’s arms caught up in his kiss. With each teasing flick and caress, Scott found that he was falling harder—slipping further away from the promises he’d made to the beautiful auburn-haired girl that he’d fallen for all those years ago. Instead he was crashing headfirst into the unknown caught up in the fire that Logan had awakened inside of him driving him mad with desire until he had no choice, but to give in. With every urgent press and nip, he was sinking, falling further away from the man he had believed he could be and coming closer to the one he’d wished like hell hadn’t picked now to come into the light._

_“When we were in Atlanta I couldn’t think of anything beyond how badly I wanted to make love to you,” Logan blurted out in a raw, aching confession, “We came so close Scott, but then when you stopped us…”_

_“You know why I did it,” Scott’s forehead pressed up against Logan’s sharing a shivering exhale as their weight of their actions carried over the both of them, “I had no choice, but to be smart for the both of us before we…”_

_“I know why you did it,” Logan’s voice was darker, more urgent, “but you can’t deny how much we both needed it—how we both wanted it…”_

_“Wanting it doesn’t make it right,” Scott blurted out with a painful sigh when Logan reached for him again, “Logan, I know that I led you on when we were out there, but…”_

_“No. You love me Slim,” Logan’s voice taunted. His hands moved over the front of Scott’s tuxedo shirt, deftly plucking away at the buttons to push his fingers within to feel the betraying warmth of Scott’s body readily offering itself to him—wanting nothing more than to give into temptation and forget about obligation with Logan’s kisses upon his neck. Logan’s fingers were buried in the back of Scott’s hair forcing his head back as he splashed tiny, urgent kisses upon Scott’s exposed skin, his tongue trailing over the curve of Scott’s neck until finally their mouths met in another hungry union driving Scott down further into the hell he’d surrounded himself by._

_“Logan I…” Scott half pleaded bringing his arms around Logan’s shoulders to hold him tighter—to lose himself to the way that Logan had made him feel alive and needed, wanted in so many ways that nothing else came close to. As Logan’s demands became more apparent so did Scott’s desire causing him to claim Logan’s mouth in another hot, explicit, urgent kiss knowing full well that he was going to burn for all eternity for wanting it._

_“…you love me,” Logan_ _practically begged of him. His thick arms eased around Scott’s slender frame, coaxing Scott to give in to him—to lose himself to temptation. As their kiss expanded, Logan guided Scott around the fitting room pulling Scott up into the air against Logan’s chest as Scott’s thighs surrounded Logan’s waist kissing him harder with each passing second. Unlike their time in Atlanta, they didn’t have Wade’s goofy gift and endless rounds of Tequila to explain what was happening. Instead they were wrapped up in one another giving in to temptation as Scott found himself caught up in a turning point in his lover’s arms._

_“I do,” Scott practically choked out, finding the strength to reveal the truth that he’d been holding onto for so long he’d feared that it would always consume him. For so long he’d repressed those feelings—burying them so deep inside of them so that Jean couldn’t read them—that Charles couldn’t see what was happening, but with Logan’s arms around him driving him deeper into his own personal torment, Scott knew there was no escaping the truth that he’d tried to hide even from himself, “I love you…”_

Now as Scott’s eyes snapped open again, he let out a hard gasp knowing only too well that moment during his first declaration of love to Logan had been broken by Hank’s arrival—by the reality that Scott had promised Jean that they could have a life together. They had spent years building something up and watching it fall was the last thing that he could do. He’d loved her. That much he had been certain of, but with Logan it had become a challenge in staying true to his heart. He’d intended on being the man that Jean had always asked of him to be, but he knew he’d changed. He’d found himself falling further away from their plans for a future and giving in to a temptation that he was certain he hadn’t been meant to explore. Hell, if it hadn’t been for Jean’s run with the Phoenix and her gradual decline into madness during that period in time before Scott had risked everything to save her, then perhaps he would’ve found the strength to be honest with his heart—with the man that had foolishly turned Logan away time and time again in favor of doing what was right. For so long that had defined the man he was, but now as Scott stood in the quiet hospital waiting room, he’d found that he loathed and despised that man more than he could ever imagine after his sense of duty and honor had stolen the only real thing from his life.

Feeling his frustrations mounting, Scott sucked in a sharp, agitated breath attempting to keep his cool, but it was no use. His guilt and regret had stolen any sense of ease from him. Instead the seconds on the overhead clock ticked away turning into long, agonizing minutes before transforming into frustrating hours. The world beyond the walls of the hospital had fallen to slumber cloaking the night in dark melancholy, but everything inside of Scott was in an uproar leaving him less than settled about what was happening with Logan in the not knowing. Like a curse, every single second replayed in his mind, taking him from Markus and his challenge to the painful moment when Logan collapsed on the walkway bleeding out and fighting for his life. It was in that moment that everything ceased to make sense—that the world seemed to lose it’s meaning as Scott could feel himself shutting down. Now he could see himself as an outsider looking in on the memory watching as he and Clint worked to hoist Logan up all the while struggling to keep Logan from crumbling to pieces bleeding out and broken, but everything about the feeling weighed in upon him taking him from emptiness to anger. It first began hours ago as a tiny flicker sparking a dark anger inside of him, but now as time had lingered on and he’d found himself even more anxious about Logan’s condition, he realized that there was no holding back.

Turning to face Maria once again Scott found himself at a loss—struggling to keep his ironclad resolve now that Logan had been transported from the warehouse to the nearby agency hospital where his life was hanging by a thread. Against Scott’s better judgment, Maria had convinced Scott to allow her team to take Logan in for treatment after his latest mishap had landed him in a dire situation. Now hours later and concerned about his teammate, Scott was fit to be tied, more concerned than he’d let on in the dimly lit hallway wishing like hell that he could go back and change the last twenty-four hours of his life. It was bad enough that the mission had quite literally blown up in their faces, but knowing that Logan had put himself out there refusing to follow orders only set Scott even more on edge wishing like hell that he’d been able to exert more control over Logan’s actions.

With each passing second, Scott found himself reflecting on his final moments with Logan unable to ignore the sharp pang that centered in over his chest. With every breath he took, he could still feel the warmth of Logan’s kiss upon him—the way that it felt to finally let go without any thought to consequence other than hoping like hell that it wouldn’t be the last time that they would share such a tender intimacy between them. Now as Scott looked to the blood on his hands remembering the way that he’d held Logan’s heart in his grasp, he found that the not knowing was harder than being in the center of the action fighting like hell to wrong the rights that had taken place all those months ago. Repeatedly the events of the night replayed in his head down to the last painstaking detail creating the haunting melody in his heart in knowing that it hadn’t been enough. His efforts had been in vain proving to be pointless as he’d lost a piece of Logan in the process, causing his patience to run thin. He paced around the room, unable to find comfort in the not knowing what the future would hold now that Logan was being worked on hours after the attack at the warehouse took place.

“We’ll hear something as soon as they know,” Maria spoke up in a smooth and distanced tone attempting to reach out to touch Scott’s arm only to have him pull away from her as if he’d been burned.

“If something happens to him tonight, then that is on you,” he spat back angrily, unable to ignore the rage that built up inside of him over seeing the man he’d cared about torn to shreds right before his very eyes, “If he dies…”

“He’s not going to,” Maria attempting to reassure Scott in his darkest hour, but it was no use as rage poured out over him taking him to that place back at the warehouse when Logan’s damn near lifeless body was hoisted out of the wreckage via helicarrier to the hidden hospital.

“You don’t know that,” Scott snapped back at her in recoil. He clenched his fingers at his sides, doing his best to stay calm, but there was nothing calm inside of him now that rage and fear consumed him, pulling him from the dark recesses of his mind to a place where he was consumed by the thought of truly losing Logan. Looking down at Logan’s blood on his hands, his heart ached fearing that this could finally be the end of a long and torturous journey for them all because he’d gone full force into a mission uninformed and unprepared for the aftermath.

“You’re right I don’t Scott, but Logan is strong. He’s a fighter and given all he’s been through before, I’m sure that he will bounce back stronger than ever when…”

“No,” Scott cut her off abruptly. His lower lip quivered with anger—with rage that was only exasperated by the things that had gone wrong. If only he’d been better prepared—if only he could’ve stopped things when they started and found another solution to the problem at hand.

Only a handful of times in Scott’s life had a mission gone completely wrong and each time it had been because of lack of preparation on his part. It was because of his lack of insight that things exploded due to him slipping, but now with Logan’s life on the line he knew that the blame was his alone. He’d known that Logan was protective of him—that Logan hadn’t wanted to walk away, but what he hadn’t considered was that need Logan harbored to protect Scott would ultimately be the key to Logan’s undoing. Through Logan’s insubordination, he’d found a way back to the madness that had damn near done him in the first time around while Scott did nothing to stop it. Instead he’d simply left Logan in the wind caught up in thoughts he shouldn’t be thinking at a time when they shouldn’t have been focused beyond the task at hand. He’d led Logan in the wrong direction and now Logan could die simply because Scott hadn’t been smart enough to do things the right way. He had gone against his instincts and Logan had paid the price.

“Scott…I realize that this waiting is hard, but you have to see that…” Maria’s words cut through him dragging him out of his tormented thoughts to the pale blue waiting room looking out onto the dark night beyond the hospital walls. It seemed through the courtyard that everything was at rest, perhaps at peace with the night sky above, but as Scott found himself looking up at the full moon overhead, he found that he was far from ease in his surroundings.

Turning to face Maria once again, Scott grimaced when his anger slipped past his lips manifesting at a full-blown rage at his companion, “You don’t know anything about what happens next with him. That drug you injected into his veins is an unknown variable in this other than you think it might be something that could possibly work in helping him, but you don’t really know, now do you?”

“Scott I…” Maria’s voice was strained. Her eyes were bloodshot revealing the exhaustion that had carried over her now that their mission had once again crumbled to pieces after Markus had found a way to best them once again in their attempts.

“You lied to me!” Scott raised his voice, unable to contain the rage inside of him any longer, “From the start you purposely withheld vital information that…”

“You’re right I did.”

“And now Logan might die,” Scott found the words falling from his lips again. He fought against his instincts feeling an involuntary shudder at knowing this could finally be it for them.

“I did what I did Scott because it was needed in order to get the job done,” Maria replied throwing her hands up in the air desperately. She took a step towards him preparing to argue her case when he raised his hand up in the air to silence her, “I never meant for you or Logan to get caught up in the crossfire considering that…”

“Don’t,” he warned shaking his head in disgust, “don’t try to apologize now when neither one of us believe you mean it.”

“Look Scott I…” Maria opened her mouth to say something further, but stopped and nodded, “Fine, then how about we talk about what happened there tonight? Are you going to tell me what exactly went down after you forced Clint to abandon the mission?”

“That’s what you’re concerned about?” Scott’s jaw clenched with tension. He fought against his instincts standing taller and puffing out his chest, “After everything that played out like it did, you want to talk about what happened at the warehouse?”

“I saw the carnage within the walls of that warehouse,” Maria answered with a slight nod, “The blood and the death…”

“…aren’t over if Logan dies tonight,” Scott finished with an impatient huff, “Did you have any idea what you were throwing all of us into tonight?”

“Scott, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about…”

“…the fact that you ran a mission without knowing what was on the other side of this objective of yours,” Scott interrupted with a shake of his head, “Do you really have any idea what happened in Canada or was that all lip service you threw out on me during our ride out here?”

“I know that things were bad…” she bit down on her lower lip struggling to keep herself from giving away too much.

“Not bad enough though, right?” Scott threw his hands up in the air. He opened his mouth to say something further—to follow through on his thoughts, but instead he simply turned away from her.

With an aggravated sigh, Scott began to pace the room replaying the events of the last couple of weeks leading up to his following Logan to the club and discovering the trials. Now it felt like a lifetime ago as he found himself reflecting on all the things he and Logan had experienced since then. Shaking his head again, he forced himself to look at Maria again with disgust carrying over him, “You know a lot of people say that I’m cold and unhuman, but you…you just throw out one manipulation right after the other attempting to keep people doing your bidding, don’t you? You don’t care about the consequences of those actions or what it does to people who put your faith in you. You just weave this web of lies and…”

“Scott, I realize that you are understandably upset right now, but…” she opened her mouth to argue, but found herself at a loss when she looked around the empty waiting room.

“You don’t get to lecture me! Upset doesn’t even begin to cover the way I’m feeling knowing that a teammate of mine was senselessly put into danger and kept in that place deteriorating with each passing second all because you were too selfish and inept to simply tell me the truth about what was really happening here.”

Hanging her head somberly, she turned her eyes away from him, “I didn’t want to lie to you about any of it, but…”

“But you did and now Logan is in there fighting for his life hoping like hell that he gets to wake up tomorrow and get a chance at doing this all over again, and for what?” Scott demanded with an angry shake of his head, “What did any of us gain for this? Shit Maria, he was only there tonight because you couldn’t be straight with me back at the club.”

“If I told you the truth that night, then I know full well that you wouldn’t have…” she tipped her head up to look at him, revealing the first hint of vulnerability in their exchange.

“Helped you?” Scott finished moving in closer to her, “Is that what this is all about? Do you really think that if you would’ve told me the truth from the start about all of this that I would’ve turned you away?”

“You didn’t owe me anything,” Maria answered guiltily. She looked away from him as the weight of her responsibility overtook her, “I know that I should’ve left well enough alone, but when you arrived at that club like you did…”

“You just assumed that you found someone as obsessed with the fight as you’ve been through the years, so you played my position against me and…” Scott snapped in recoil.

“No,” she shook her head firmly, “That isn’t it at all. I know what kind of leader you are. I’ve seen what you can do when properly motivated and…”

“You decided to use me, manipulating me at each and every turn all to appease your personal vendetta against those who have wronged you,” Scott accused throwing his hands in the air, “Tell me something Maria. Did you ever give a damn about the Euphoria or that boy that lost his life because of corruption? Did any of that matter to you at all or was it just your means of manipulating me to doing your bidding?”

“I meant what I said about that Scott,” Maria attempted to appeal to him once again, “I don’t approve of anything that has been going on. When they lied about that boy it was the first time that I knew that things needed to be changed. I needed to find a way to expose their lies, but in doing so…”

“It made you a mark for them and you used me as a means of settling the score,” Scott’s voice raised with anger, “You played me to further your own agenda all because…”

“You were the one seeking out answers that night,” Maria reminded him sharply, “You were so concerned about Logan’s role in all of this that you didn’t think to look beyond your own agenda and…”

“Logan is in there fighting for his life because no one thought to end this sooner before it spiraled out of control,” Scott reminded her sharply before taking a step back, “and the worst part of all of this is that it should be me in there not him. I’m the reason he started this in the first place. I did this to him and what’s worse is I let you lead me towards his destruction. I believed in you when I should’ve been getting him as far away from all of this as possible. I should’ve stopped it that night at the club, but I didn’t and now I could lose one of the most important members of my team. He could die all because I was too stubborn to do what I knew was best for him out of some misguided sense of duty after you pulled me in. I did this to him and now…”

“Scott…”

“I should be the one fighting for my life—who might not make it until the morning because it is nothing less than what I deserve after I’ve failed him, but now I have to hope that maybe just maybe that experiment you injected into his veins will be enough to help him pull through,” Scott continued to lash out at her, “I have to have faith that you aren’t misleading me all over again in the name of some kind of hidden agenda considering that…”

“You weren’t up front with me either,” she quipped standing up taller and folding her arms in front of her chest, “You didn’t care about the mission. All you cared about was spying on Logan and seeing what it was that he was withholding from you after you’d pushed him away. That was the only thing you cared about until it looked like another opportunity for you to step in and admonish him for getting in over his head.”

“What do you know about Logan and me? You know nothing about the things that we have endured together through the years. You have no idea of what we’ve shared—the horrors we’ve seen or the battles we’ve won and lost together. All you see is people you can use when it suits your agenda,” Scott marched in closer to her as his body shook with anger.

“You were too close to this and him from the start. I tried to warn you about that, but you wouldn’t listen,” Maria argued matching his movement until they practically nose to nose with one another, “You let emotion overrule instinct and in doing so you put all of us in jeopardy tonight. When you set foot in that warehouse, you weren’t thinking about the mission. You were thinking about revenge for things that were left unsettled back in Canada. Admit it.”

“I did what needed to be done because you didn’t give me a choice in the matter,” Scott argued glaring down at her, “You put Clint and I out there to face that without warning or preparation—without truly knowing what it was that we went through. You were either horribly misinformed about our mission or you didn’t give a damn about what happened under Abaddon’s control. All you thought about in this was yourself and your needs…”

“What I needed tonight was for you to keep your head in the game and do what you promised not turning this into a bloodbath where…” Maria clenched her fists at her sides angrily.

“You left me without a choice,” Scott’s nostrils flared with rage, “The moment you honed in on me at the club you took what little control I had over this situation away from me without ever considering what would follow. Once you dangled Logan’s situation in my face…”

“It made you blind to the reality of everything that is going on around you,” she shot back icily, “It all became about Logan and what you could do to make it up to him for the things you’ve done to disappoint him through the years.”

Scott opened his mouth to argue, but fought against it before letting out a pinched laugh, “What business is it of yours what my intentions where Logan is concerned are? You didn’t care to look beyond your mission and…”

“I didn’t have to take a deep look to see that the man is so head over heels in love with you that he’s willing to march through death’s doors to save your skin,” Maria shot back callously when Scott’s words struck a chord in her, “all because you aren’t strong enough to let him go.”

“You want to talk about letting go? Shall we call Mrs. Barton and ask her what her thoughts are on your ability to do just that now that you’ve stepped in and taken advantage of her husband’s obvious breakdown?” Scott replied shaking his head. He pinched his lips together before offering up a small, bitter laugh, “You sent him straight into hell tonight in forcing him to take on this mission. You put him in harm’s way and set back his recovery in ways that I don’t know if he’ll ever move beyond.”

And just like that on the completion of his words Scott felt the sharp sting of Maria’s hand across the right side of his face, slapping him harder than he’d anticipated, but no less than he’d deserved. He could see her nostrils flaring with rage, her mouth curving downward in the beginnings of a deep, seething snarl, but before she could lose herself to her anger, she raised her hand up in the air and huffed.

“I didn’t know that they would be there tonight,” Maria argued further taking a step back and placing a distance between them. Her hand fell to her abdomen, clasping over it as if the thought brought a rush of nausea over her, “I had no idea that Markus had them working there…”

“Yet you were aware of it at the club. That night when we went inside one of them was a bouncer at the door,” Scott frowned matching her movement in folding his arms in front of his chest.

“The bouncer wasn’t one of them in Canada. You confirmed as much when we entered that club. You said it yourself that you…” Maria shook her head and sighed, “I didn’t realize that Markus had taken them on in other ways. I’d just assumed…”

“And that was your first mistake,” Scott’s voice rose with anger, unable to mute the frustration that carried over him, “Do you have any idea what Abaddon was capable of? Of the things that she did to all of us? Were you at all interested in learning about what happened—about what you claimed you knew about the mission or were you just trying to shake me into revealing something that Clint hasn’t been able to share with you?”

“I know that it was hard on him. I knew that…” Maria’s voice faltered ever so slightly before she recovered, “I didn’t know that they would be at the warehouse waiting for you like that. Markus clearly must’ve known something that…”

“…that you should’ve been well-versed on the moment that you decided to get involved with all of us,” Scott continued, “Knowing that anyone from Abaddon’s gang was in employment with Markus should’ve been a warning signal. What were you expecting after that? Did you think it was any coincidence that Markus was keeping them under his payroll?”

“If I’d known, I wouldn’t have invited Clint to take part of this mission or Logan for that matter,” Maria’s voice momentarily softened, “Given what they endured…”

“You have no idea what any of us endured on that mission because from what I’ve seen Clint hasn’t even come to terms with it himself. He’s been a ticking time bomb terrified of his own shadow after the things that woman put him through,” Scott added with a shake of his head, “It’s a wonder he didn’t get killed tonight for the way you threw him into all of this. You knew better than to send a man in his condition on that kind of mission. You knew what that kind of trigger could do for him and…”

“So what?” she frowned up at him, “You’re suddenly one to be teaching morality lessons Cyclops? Do you really think you’re able to judge me and what I’ve done? Do you really think that you have the right?”

“Of course I don’t, but I’m not stringing a man along pretending to be all that he needs to be saved when he needs help the way that Clint does,” Scott argued with her not really caring about the context of the conversation now that his anger blinded him with rage.

“No, you’d just rather shatter one and let him see that he’s truly less than nothing when it comes to getting the job done,” Maria shot back icily cutting Scott to the core when something snapped inside of him.

“I was ready to let Logan walk away if that was what would make him happy. I wanted him to be safe above all else,” Scott threw his hands up in the air enraged by her accusations, “All I wanted was for him to be…”

“What?” she questioned attempting to prod at a place inside of him that Scott wasn’t willing to enter in his grief.

“Free,” Scott answered solemnly as guilt washed over him in knowing that the years that he’d strung Logan again always teasing him with the promise of something more had kept Logan from truly letting go. Time and time again Scott could’ve ended it—could’ve pushed him away long before they had gone too far, but selfishly he’d pulled Logan back in claiming Logan’s devotion for his own misguided purpose. Now Logan was paying the ultimate price for it, “I wanted him to be free.”

Looking out the windows into the dark world beyond the hospital lobby, Scott inhaled slowly, attempting to come to grips with his overwhelmingly strong emotions now that they’d broken through the facade he’d kept going for so very long. With each passing second it was clear that he’d lost control—that he was barely hanging on by a thread, but in knowing that it did nothing to appease his guilt or anger in knowing that Logan could potentially leave his life before morning. Rolling his shoulders back, Scott found himself met by a bitterness in the center of his chest when he faced his colleague with a snarl.

“Tell me Maria is it truly love for you with Clint or just obsession with another means of winning now that you have something to use as leverage against him in all of this?”

“I’m not doing this—certainly not with you of all people,” Maria turned away from him. She moved across the hospital waiting room making her way over towards the vending machines when it was clear that he’d struck a nerve in her, “I didn’t bank on all of this when I sent you in there tonight. You promised that you would get the job done, but now here we are in the last place we want to be no closer to a resolution and hoping like hell that our fallen colleague will live to see another day after everything is said and done.” 

“Yeah, well unlike you,” Scott reached into his pocket and withdrew the flash drive she’d given him before their mission from hell. He held it up in the air on display revealing it to her with a bitterness in his voice, “I held up my end of the bargain. I got the job done.”

“You mean you…” Maria’s eyes widened with surprise. She reached out for the drive attempting to pull it from his hand when he wrenched it away just out of her reach.

“I did what I promised when I walked into that warehouse. After Clint left Markus issued me a challenge and I took it,” Scott’s revealed coldly giving nothing more about his experiences that had guided him through their battle with Hagan, “I did exactly what was requested out of me and this…this is the proof of my subservience.”

“Scott…” Maria’s widened with shock. Her jaw dropped as she moved in closer to him attempting to take the drive from him once again.

“If Logan dies, then this goes with him,” Scott refused to hand over the hard drive. Instead he pushed it back into his pocket as his fears mounted. He turned away from her pacing the room when he found himself caged beneath a wall of bitterness and anger, “You had no right to keep the truth from me. You should have disclosed that you might have a cure when…”

“I don’t know if it is truly a cure Scott, but what you hold in your hand is everything to me. That is the one truth in all of this and if you don’t hand it over right now,” Maria attempted to appeal to him.

“No!” Scott snapped in recoil as his fingers clenched tightly over the drive, “Logan could die because of this and I’ll be damned if I just hand it over to you without you realizing just what this cost.”

“Scott…” she half pleaded. Her face drained of all color, her lips opening with a desperate breath, but he held firm in his position. Panic swept over her revealing a layer of vulnerability to the woman that he’d found himself aligned with on this disaster of a mission. Now as they stood on opposite sides of the room engaged in a power struggle that could potentially leave them both far more miserable than when their alliance began, Scott wished like hell he hadn’t waited to change things. Instead as he held her future in his hand, he found himself faced with losing his when she spoke up in another desperate attempt to appeal to him, “What you found tonight is the very thing that keeps me going. That information is everything to me and…”

“Logan’s everything to me!” Scott snapped in recoil moving beyond her to uncharacteristically slam his fist into a vending machine when the truth spilled from his lips without any kind of censor. Upon impact the glass window shuddered and shook, yet only barely cracked as an agonized breath spilled from Scott’s lips leaving him even more unsettled than he had been before his outburst. Lowering his head shamefully, he pressed his forehead against the vibrating glass and sighed softening his tone, “He’s the one thing in this world that makes me feel alive—like I almost deserve something more than this life. He’s the one thing that makes me believe there is something beyond this twisted existence and sense of duty that’s been pushed upon me for most of my life. If I lose him because you refused to be honest with me…”

“Scott…” she softened her tone, her face filled with empathy and understanding when she reached out to him once again.

“Don’t,” Scott balked away from her attempt to comfort him. He turned his back to her as he fought to contain the sobs that threatened to overtake him in his moment of weakness. He silently condemned himself, remembering that he hadn’t been made for weakness. He’d been told to lock himself away—to be what the world expected, but now with the thought of losing Logan fresh on his mind, he found that he was lost and confused, unsure of the man he should be when facing something far worse than he’d ever anticipated after life had put them at odds with one another. Guilt licked over his body transforming him from the man everyone expected him to be, to the lover lost and broken by the idea of losing the one thing he hadn’t been smart enough to admit he needed more than anything. At any minute Logan could be gone and Scott knew full well he only had himself to blame for that. It was as simple as that as Scott staggered away from the vending machine and slumped down onto one of the chairs across the room, “Comforting me won’t absolve you from the role you played in this—in the hand we all played in what happened at that warehouse tonight…”

“I know that Scott, but at the same time,” Maria seemed hesitant before speaking up again, “The agency is already asking questions about that bloodbath and…”

“Tell them what you want,” Scott answered in a dark, distanced tone. He lifted his chin and let out a long sigh finding himself exhausted and worn down when faced with all the things he could lose if Logan didn’t make it through the night, “Tell them it was all me—that I was the one that left that mess. Tell them I lost control and…”

“We got the job done in that warehouse,” Clint’s voice interrupted as Scott looked up to discover the man who’d helped save Logan’s life standing before him. Unlike the time Scott and Clint had shared alone in the warehouse, this version of Clint seemed almost at ease—as if a heavy burden had been lifted off of his chest temporarily as the lines that had cloaked his face in fear had somehow been erased—replaced by the man that Scott had witnessed on other less engaging missions where there hadn’t been as much on the line for them. For a moment he seemed free—released from the burden of his fear, but as soon as he looked over to Scott’s bloodied hands his ease was soon replaced with obvious concern for Logan’s condition when tension returned to his sculpted features, “I already told Fury how we were attacked from all ends. There were too many of them. We had no choice, but to fight back.”

“Clint…” Maria’s pained expression said it all as Clint stood before her. Her posture changed revealing less control in her step as she approached him. She turned away from Scott, hoping to speak with Clint, but she was met by an emotionless response. Instead the lines of his forehead seemed to return leaving them all broken by the situation that had taken place.

“Fury’s looking for you,” Clint replied in a cool, neutral tone keeping his eyes on Scott as Maria approached him. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder causing him to stiffen against her touch. Whether the move was intentional or not, it caused Maria to withdraw from the embrace simply distancing herself from the two men in the room with a pained breath. She opened her mouth to say something more, but Clint cut her off abruptly, “He wants you see you now so that you can corroborate my story—to let him know what you saw in all of this.”

“I already explained that I was on the rooftop with Logan for most of the mission and…” Maria replied in a much quieter voice than the one she’d been speaking in earlier.

“He’ll still want a statement,” Clint paused drawing in a long, slow breath. For an instant he glanced over her, his blue eyes revealing something that Scott couldn’t quite place before he cleared his throat and focused on Scott once again, “from both of you.”

“Right now, I’m not going anywhere,” Scott answered without hesitation not bothering to be polite in accommodating Fury or anyone else for that matter. He raised his head up just enough to observe the exchange with the Avenger before him, “I’m staying here until I know more about Logan.”

“I explained that would be your position and Fury decided that he would get to you sooner or later once we had word,” Clint replied as Maria moved over to his side once again. She touched his arm gently, attempting to connect with him when his jaw flexed with tension, “Fury’s looking for you. You should probably go see him.”

“Clint…” she spoke up with uncertainty in her tone revealing for the first time a woman who hadn’t been focused on the mission. Instead, for a moment, she revealed herself as a woman looking to soothe her lover during a moment of turmoil, but Clint refused to allow it.

“Not now,” Clint replied coldly leaving her to walk away as he stood in the center of the hospital waiting room hoping for news about Logan’s condition. When she finally walked out of the waiting room, Clint brought his hands together rubbing them nervously before clearing his throat and speaking to Scott, “Look about before…”

“I never said thank you,” Scott sighed forcing himself to look over at Logan’s friend once again, “For what you did to help Logan…”

“Thank me when he’s out of this,” Clint answered dismissively. He shrugged his shoulders before crossing the room to take a seat in one of the chairs alongside of Scott. He sat down without invitation ready to play his role in the waiting game. He sighed again, closing his eyes and leaning back just enough to press his head back against the glass window beyond the tiny waiting room, “If we would’ve done our job right the first time, then we wouldn’t be in this position today.”

“Look…” Scott spoke up as his eyes were focused on his hands knowing full well that Logan’s blood was still upon them. He knew full well that he looked like a disaster himself as one of the medics had tried to stitch him up back on the helicarrier, but he wasn’t having it. Instead Scott sat still bleeding from his abdomen in his torn and tattered soiled clothing with the weight of guilt and Logan’s blood on his hands in knowing that everything that happened could’ve been avoided if only he’d been smarter about the situation at hand, “I know I fucked up, but…”

“No,” Clint argued with a sad shake of his head, “You didn’t…at least not tonight and certainly not then. You were the only one of us who didn’t fuck up north of the border and I never gave you enough credit for that.”

“I don’t deserve credit for…” Scott began when the burden of his guilt weighed in upon his shoulders.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Clint argued blinking once again. He tilted his head in Scott’s direction before speaking up in a low, quiet tone so that the conversation could remain between the both of them, “If it wasn’t for you doing what you did back there…well, I wouldn’t be standing or rather sitting here today.”

“Clint…” Scott spoke up with uneasiness.

“For so long I wanted to hate you for how it played out—to be angry with you because you were the only one who didn’t feel it. You were the only one who walked away from it unchanged,” Clint offered up with a pained laugh, “We all fell apart, but you…you just went home, and nothing changed.”

“Everything changed,” Scott divulged quietly. He lowered his head staring at his hands in his lap knowing only too well the horrors that he’d not only witnessed, but inflicted with his hands in the height of madness, “I just couldn’t show anyone that it changed me. I had to make everyone else believe…”

“…that you weren’t different because of that bitch and her henchmen,” Clint finished knowingly, “and for the longest time I truly believed that was the case. I thought that you were just there for the mission—to justify the ends without recognizing how much we lost of ourselves on that mission. You never once seemed to lose faith or purpose or…”

“I lost everything that meant anything to me,” Scott confessed somberly. He raised his chin up looking to Clint again with a raw, ache centering in over his chest, “at least I thought I did before tonight. I sacrificed who I was to be what we needed during that mission and…”

“You gave yourself to ending Abaddon just like you were willing to do tonight after I fell apart,” Clint leaned in closer to him, “I know what happened in there wasn’t about Markus. I know that it was because of what happened back then—what we all did there that…”

“I finished the job,” Scott noted turning away from Clint again in order to focus on his hands. He could see that Logan’s blood was caked underneath his nails and cuticles soaking his skin with perhaps the final remainder of the man he’d loved and lost time and time again because of his own misguided sense of duty, “or at least you did when you finished with Hagan what I could not.”

“You saved us Scott,” Clint appealed to him once again, “I didn’t see it then, but now…”

“If it wasn’t for you, then right now Logan and I would be…” Scott shuddered at the thought before falling to silence knowing words could never be enough. As the two men sat together, Scott offered up a small sigh before looking to Clint again, “He really values your friendship. You’ve meant a lot to him through the years even if he doesn’t always say it. Even after the mission for the longest time he was concerned about you—about what was going on with you…”

“He took a lot of what he did because of me,” Clint sighed twisting in his seat. Bringing his arm up over the back of the chair, he let out a long breath as his face was caught up in a moment of recollection, “Back then…he only blew his cover because I’d been outed with Hagan and…”

“I know,” Scott nodded somberly when thoughts of Logan filled his subconscious taking him from guilt to an overwhelming sense of regret at all the things he hadn’t done, hadn’t said to Logan in their time together, “He would never hesitate to put his life on the line for someone he loves.”

“He’s going to pull through this, you know?” Clint offered up in a soft consolation causing Scott to look over at Logan’s friend.

“I don’t know about this one…” Scott choked up on the thought, finding himself caught up in that place where he had Logan’s heart in his hands feeling the strong, steady beating transforming to a weak, shallow vibration when the weight of the past came crashing down upon them.

“He’ll pull through,” Clint reached out to pat Scott’s thigh in a surprisingly supportive movement and confusing Scott with the gesture, but he didn’t fight it. Instead he sat still feeling the squeeze of Clint’s fingers over his thigh, “After all he’s got plenty of reason to keep fighting, now doesn’t he?”

“I hope so,” Scott faced forward finding himself lost in all the dreams of a life he knew that he had been forced to leave behind. With every chance he’d been given, he’d found that he simply tossed it away. Time and time again he’d lost sight of what mattered in favor of giving in to obligation—to fall into line knowing it was his duty to keep things running smoothly even if it meant pushing his own desires and wants aside.

“He still loves you, you know,” Clint’s voice roused Scott from his damning thoughts. Unable to avoid the uncomfortable conversation, Scott glanced over at Clint once again seeing the knowing expression on Logan’s friend’s face when Clint continued to attempt to reach out to Scott, “Even after Boston—even after you did what you did…he never stopped loving you. That’s why it hurt so damn much because for him…it was everything.”

“Clint…I…” Scott found himself at a loss when the worst moment of his life came to play in his mind hashing itself out in vivid color. Time and time again he’d regretted that night and the ways in which he’d hurt Logan. It hadn’t been what he’d hoped for after years of wishing that they could find common ground with one another, but after Scott’s actions he knew full well that he had singlehandedly pissed away any kind of future between them.

“I hated you so damned much for the way you wrecked him,” Clint continued in spite of the uneasiness in the conversation, “For all the times he showed up at my door drunk on his ass after polishing off a couple of kegs because he was too stubborn to let go. He just wouldn’t ever listen…”

“Clint, I know that I’m not good for him. I don’t deny how awful I’ve been,” Scott replied somberly knowing full well that Logan’s friend had been right about him all along, “I know that something inside of me is broken…I’m not human. I’m something far worse and…”

“You’re a vile, awful person Scott Summers. I don’t deny that, but if you weren’t…” Clint paused thinking about his words before speaking up again, “Then I’d never be able to see my family again. I’d never be sitting here trying to convince you that you need to stop being such a shit and give Logan a chance—a real chance at happiness.”

“I know he deserves that,” Scott agreed turning away from Logan’s friend. He lowered his head somberly when the weight of his guilt reverberated through him, “I know he needs to find someone who can give him that—someone who will truly make him happy and give him the kind of life he deserves. If he makes it through the night, then I swear to you I will give him that.”

“I know you will,” Clint agreed clearing his throat as Scott felt tension coil up in his neck and shoulders, “because as much as I’d like to see you cut the ties with him completely, he doesn’t want that. He never did and that’s what kills him. He wants you Summers.”

“He only thinks that he wants me,” Scott let out a pained grimace when he found himself looking at Logan’s blood on his hands all over again.

“No, it’s more than that. He loves you so much that he’s willing to risk everything to keep you safe,” Clint reminded him once again, “Tonight he kicked my ass just so that he could get in there and save yours.”

“Clint, I know that I put you in an awkward position and…” Scott attempted to apologize only to watch Clint raise his hand in the air to silence him.

“It doesn’t matter what was, but rather what is,” Clint explained in a slow, annunciated tone, “and if Logan pulls through this, you’d better damn well work on making him happy.”

“I already told you that I’m going to let him go. I swear to you that…” Scott explained painfully.

“He wants you,” Clint reminded him again, “He’s a stubborn son of a bitch, but he’s in love with you. His heart is in your hands in more ways than one after tonight. You could crush it if you chose to, but even with it shattered he won’t ever stop loving you. He won’t ever stop wanting whatever it is that he thinks you can bring to his life.”

“You’ve seen what I bring to his life,” Scott choked up on his words when it was clear that he was unable to hold back on the sudden burst of emotion that threatened to overtake him, “I’m wrong for him.”

“I agree, but at the same time,” Clint leaned in closer to Scott speaking up in a quiet, somber tone, “I wasn’t completely tweaked out of my mind the entire time I was under Abaddon’s control. I saw what you did when you came to find us. I know the things that she did to you—the ways that she was going to hurt you just to make him suffer. You knew it was going to happen too, but you didn’t back down. You didn’t stop until you made sure that he was safe and…”

“Clint,” Scott opened his mouth to say something sooner to his companion before guilt washed over him once again, “I’m sorry I didn’t get in there sooner. If I had any idea what she was capable of…”

“None of us did, but I have to admit the world feels a little bit safer tonight now that Hagan is no longer a part of it,” Clint reached out behind his neck to rub at the tension that had clearly collected in his shoulders, “That son of a bitch had it coming.”

“Long before it ended for him,” Scott agreed with him, “I just wish we could’ve accomplished that sooner.”

“I almost want to see to it that Abaddon gets the message that he’s gone,” Clint spoke up behind gritted teeth, “For all that she took from me, I want her to suffer. I want her to feel the pain she put me through—to know what it is like to have something so important taken from her…”

“Clint…” Scott’s worried voice spoke up once again.

“But I know that I can’t do that,” Clint explained looking to Scott again, “Wanting it and fantasizing about it doesn’t mean that I will do it, but from now on I know that things are going to get better. If Logan makes it through the night, then we’re all given a second chance at getting things right again. I mean we all now have a new reason for living, don’t we?”

“I sure hope so,” Scott looked up at the television that was mounted in the corner of the room. On the screen before him it was on a sports channel replaying the game that Clint and Logan had talked about watching with one another back in the hotel. Now, it felt hollow in seeing it played out on the screen before them serving as a reminder of things that were now out of their reach. With a sigh, Scott found himself at a turning point when he reached into his pocket and withdrew the flash drive that he’d withheld from Maria. Without a word, he stretched his hand out offering it to Clint, “Here. Take this.”

“What is it?” Clint questioned looking down at the tiny black drive pinched between Scott’s thumb and index finger.

“It’s yours,” Scott waved the drive towards Clint once again.

“No, it’s not,” Clint shook his head in response, “Scott, I know we’ve been through a lot tonight, but that’s not…”

“It’s what I promised you back in the warehouse,” Scott explained depositing the flash drive in Clint’s palm carefully, “I know that I’m a dick, but I’m not too much of a dick not to do the right thing when the time calls for it. This belongs to you.”

“Are you saying that…?” Clint asked again looking to the drive in the center of his hand.

“I didn’t have a lot of time to get everything we needed to finish this,” Scott explained with a sigh watching as the man on screen before him fumbled the football causing the other team to gain an advantage on the field, “but I promised you. I located her…or rather more specifically I found a lead on her that should help you on your search.”

“You mean….” Clint’s gaze lingered to the drive in his hand realizing the weight of his importance when he turned his attention to Scott once again, “I…I don’t know what to say. I just…”

“You deserve happiness Clint,” Scott replied looking briefly at the tired Avenger at his side, “and she deserves her father. Who am I to deny her that?”

“Does Maria know that you…?” Clint’s eyes widened with surprise as he his fingers wrapped tightly around the drive.

“She knows I have it, but I refused to give it to her after everything she pulled on us tonight,” Scott divulged guiltily knowing only too well he was giving up his primary leverage in the web Maria had weaved over them. Still, in knowing all Clint had endured, he’d found that losing this battle in favor of doing the right thing regardless of the price he’d paid was the only alternative to his anger. He nodded to the drive again as he thought about the painstaking lengths he’d gone to in order to provide Clint with the missing pieces again, “I was angry over what happened and I said some shitty things to her when I withheld the drive. I know how much it meant to her—to the both of you, but…”

“She did some shitty, unforgivable things tonight too,” Clint decided clasping the drive tighter than before when it’s worth seemed to weigh in upon him, “As much as I…care for her…she’s…”

“Like me?” Scott finished watching as Clint nodded somberly.

“In more ways than I care to admit, which is maybe why I was so damned angry with Logan when he decided to pursue you,” Clint continued with an ironic laugh, “For so long he knew what kind of headache he was getting himself into, but he kept fighting for it. He kept pushing for something he knew damn well would never bring him happiness. Time and time again you just kicked him down. You just kept pushing him away, but he kept getting up, dusting himself off and giving things another go never giving up hope that one day…”

“She still loves you too, you know,” Scott blurted out watching as Clint lowered his head somberly, “As hard as it is for her to admit to what’s inside of her when she’s being what the world expects of her, she’s different when it comes to you. There’s something there that…”

“I know,” Clint sighed hanging his head at Scott’s words, “and a part of me wishes like hell that she would’ve told me this years ago—back when I had a choice…back before Laura and I were…”

“Does Laura know?” Scott couldn’t help, but question knowing full well that he was out of line in questioning the man beside him.

Clint nodded rubbing the back of his neck again with his free hand, “It was before Laura and I…well, let’s just say when Maria and I met it was at a time when we were both a little less jaded about the world around us…or rather about each other perhaps. We both didn’t think about what came next. We just gave into instinct and…”

“Yeah,” Scott cleared his throat and looked away.

“I walked away when I realized it could never be what I wanted it to be,” Clint continued to explain to Scott despite the tension that existed between them, “I always wanted something more—something simple, but she was so bound by duty—so determined to prove that she could accomplish something. She spent so many years living in the shadow of the torture her father put her through that she could never let herself completely go. She couldn’t just stop being haunted his memory long enough to fight for what we have and now…”

“Clint,” Scott began looking to his companion once again, “if there’s still a chance between the both of you for something…”

“I’m married Scott,” Clint reminded him poignantly, “and I love my wife. I have since the day we met, but with Maria…I can’t deny what she means to me. There’s something still here between us…even now…even after… If only she would’ve told me the truth sooner…if she could’ve just felt strong enough to share it with me before…”

“I know,” Scott sighed turning his focus to the television once again.

“She’s good at withholding it until it serves her purpose,” Clint let out an ironic laugh, “and maybe a part of her thought she was doing the right thing.”

“With the two of you or…?” Scott found himself almost afraid to ask.

“With Logan,” Clint explained with a heavy sigh, “With her for some reason the ends always justify the means. Everything else gets blurred along the way. For her it’s always about the mission.”

“She’s not alone in that belief,” Scott sighed thinking about all the horrible things he’d put Logan through over the years.

“Yeah, but maybe unlike her, you can find a way to fix this before you both go to a place where there might not be any more turning back. For a while I thought that Boston was that end for you, but now…knowing what Logan still feels…in seeing you with him tonight at the warehouse maybe you two can figure it out before it becomes too complicated to hold onto any longer,” Clint suggested as Scott found himself falling to silence again.

“I sure as hell hope that I’ll get the chance,” Scott confessed poignantly when dreams of a life he believed he could never have flashed before his eyes. In a series of thoughts, he found himself thinking about all the things he and Logan hadn’t said to one another through the years. There had been so many times—so many moments that he could’ve stepped up and given Logan what he needed, but he’d always held back—always two steps away from anything that truly mattered between them. Now, more than anything, he wanted a do over. He wanted a chance to prove himself to be the man Logan had hoped for him to be. Together he and Clint sat in silence for the next few hours as Scott found himself pondering if he’d ever be given such a chance to make things right now that Logan’s life was on the line threatening to tear their future away from them before it began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has been a hard year for everyone and thanks for hanging in there with me on this one. If you're liking it, then please drop me a note and let me know :) Thanks again for reading!


	19. Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Maria have a heart to heart about where they stand on the mission and with one another. Scott receives a phone call that challenges his world all over again.

**Conversation:** _a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged._

“What are we looking at here?” Scott questioned impatiently. With a worried heart and shaky hands, Scott pulled himself up from the chair he’d spent most of the night in knowing full well that the dried blood on his skin and clothing made him come off as frightening to the nurses and volunteers on staff, who’d quietly escorted other people from the waiting room to a location far from where the fallen X-Men leader sat awaiting his lover’s fate.

Now, with the doctor before him, Scott found himself divided by a sense of fear and hope knowing only too well that the chances of Logan’s recovery were slim given all the unknown variables that they’d encountered on their mission. Making his way towards the man who’d been taking care of Logan from the moment they’d rushed him into the government hospital, Scott found that his heart was pounding furiously in his chest. For hours Scott sat waiting, hoping like hell that things would turn around after the night had transformed into morning bringing with it the fear that at any moment the doctor would announce that Logan had lost his battle against the demons of the past. Haunted by memories of others that had stolen their life from them time and time again, Scott found himself caught up in a whirlwind of emotion unable to deny ignore how agonizing the night had been.

“He’s finally out of critical condition,” the doctor explained as Scott stood before him stressed and concerned about his teammate. It took a few seconds for the man’s words to register when Scott watched the relieved sigh that spilled over the doctor’s lips, “I don’t know how he does it, but he’s once again managed to escape an ending that most everyone else in this world would’ve succumbed to given the nature of his injuries. It’s a miracle that he’s still here with us given that we had our doubts upon his arrival.”

“Thank God,” Maria’s relieved voice suddenly reminded Scott of his companion’s presence in the room.

She’d returned hours earlier after Clint had gone for a walk, but this time she hadn’t attempted to speak to Scott. For most of the night he hadn’t acknowledged her when he’d found himself caught up in the weight of memories and regret hating himself in ways that he was certain he would never be able to forgive regardless of how things turned out with Logan. Now Scott felt Maria move in beside him to address the doctor, reaching out to touch Scott’s arm in an unexpected, supportive squeeze after the time they’d spent in silence with one another. They hadn’t exchanged a word after they’d fought the previous evening in that very waiting room. However, after Clint had taken a break and she’d given her statement to Fury, she’d refused to leave Scott’s side opting instead to be the silent support system he hadn’t asked for, but found he’d truly needed with Logan’s life hanging in balance, “How long do you estimate it will be before he wakes up?”

“That I can’t really tell you,” the doctor explained rubbing his palms together. After a moment, he pinched his lips and reached up to readjust his wire rimmed glasses on his face, “We aren’t exactly used to dealing with someone like him.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Scott couldn’t help, but frown at the man before him knowing only too well that they were at a government hospital where mutants hadn’t always been welcome in the past.

“With with so many advanced healing capabilities,” the doctor softened his tone before his gaze shifted over to Maria. When she remained silent, he addressed Scott once more, “Even with his powers being inhibited to some degree, he’s still remarkable in his recovery.”

“So, then the serum I gave him…it worked?” Maria questioned causing Scott to tense up at the memory of how things played out between them back at the warehouse.

“I can’t speak for the long term effects of it, but I will say that it has played a hand in his recovery—at least for now,” the doctor clarified giving hope to Maria’s decision to offer Logan the injection, “I’m not certain on what will happen in the long term given what we know about Euphoria’s lingering effects on mutants, but…”

“For now, he’s stable,” Maria finished for him as Scott found himself waiting on bated breath for the man’s response.

“It appears so,” the doctor nodded accordingly before turning to Scott again, “For most of our patients this would’ve ended quite poorly, but in his case one could argue that he had a guardian angel in his corner looking over him through the process. He’s very lucky to be alive.”

“When can I see him?” Scott questioned attempting to keep his voice cool and even, but there was no mistaking the way concern shook his tone. Instead he cleared his throat and tried to fight the things that were building inside of him. They were trapped in his mind in facing the possibility of having a life without Logan in it. For a moment he could swear that Maria had read his mind—that she could sense what was happening inside of him when she squeezed at his arm once again, but almost as soon as she offered up the gesture, she released his arm opting instead to take a step forward.

“We’d love to speak with him if that is alright,” Maria began encouraging the doctor further.

“It will be hours before he is able to carry a cohesive conversation, I would imagine,” the doctor explained in a neutral tone, “I’m afraid we’d like to keep him under observation for a bit longer before we allow him any visitors.”

“How long?” Scott questioned impatiently.

“Mr. Summers, the nature of the injuries he endured were quite devastating to his neurological and cardiac system. Granted he’s healing, but with the remaining wounds there is still a risk of infection at this point. We don’t want to risk any unnecessary exposure to outside elements to inhibit his healing,” the doctor answered pointedly, “The damage was quite extensive.”

“We’re aware,” Maria added knowingly, “but with the serum he has shown a great improvement, yes?”

“Indeed,” the doctor nodded, “The rate at which his healing process has kicked in is remarkable. I realize that he has an obvious inclination towards healing with his mutation, but…”

“What?” Scott questioned watching something flash over the man’s features, “What haven’t you said in all of this?”

“We had to induce a coma to slow the process of degeneration,” the doctor explained turning his attention to Scott again, “Given Logan’s systematic healing, I imagine that process has been good for his regeneration. With enough time to heal, he should be…”

“What?”

“Good as new…at least that is what we are aiming for in all of this. We’ll know more when he’s returned to consciousness, but for now we’d like to limit his visitors and contact with the outside world. It is better to take extra precautions while he’s working through the healing process. However, I can retrieve you when he’s at that point we feel it is safe for him to have company.”

“Of course,” Scott nodded exchanging a few pleasantries with the doctor before shaking the man’s hand. A few seconds later the doctor disappeared behind the double doors he’d emerged from moments earlier leaving Scott and Maria alone in the long, generic white hallway once again.

“This is good news. The serum is surprisingly more effective than I’d anticipated when we’d administered it,” Maria announced sidestepping around Scott in the hallway. She spoke up in a business as usual tone, “I should inform the others of Logan’s condition.”

“Of course,” Scott nodded again, flexing his jaw with tension, “That’s a good idea. I mean I’m sure that your colleagues would like to know they’re on the right track in their research.”

“Scott,” she frowned turning to face him once again as it was clear the damage between them had been done, “Look I…”

“You took a gamble and it paid off. Good for you,” Scott shrugged his shoulders and sighed. He brought one hand up over the back of his neck attempting to rub at the tension in his spine when he remembered the dried blood on his hands. Frowning, he lowered his hand again as he realized she was still watching him intently.

“You should eat,” Maria suggested after a moment’s hesitation, “You look exhausted.”

“I’m fine,” Scott lied feeling a rumble in his stomach. However, thinking of Logan behind those double doors fighting to recover, Scott found he had no interest in walking away from his companion, “I’ll just wait here.”

“No,” Maria shook her head firmly, “You need to at least drink something. It’s been hours since he was brought in and…”

“I’m fine,” Scott snapped realizing his tone was far more abrasive than he’d intended.

“You’ve bled out most of the night,” she replied nodding to the tear in his shirt revealing the bloodied line over his abdomen, “At the very least you should have them look at your wounds now and get that stitched up again.”

“Maria…” Scott frowned catching the way she was watching him.

“Look, you can be pissed at me all you want,” Maria conceded moving in closer to him, “I deserve your anger and I won’t try to apologize for what I did. You have every right to be angry with me, but you need to keep your strength for Logan. We both know he’s going to want to see you when he wakes up and if you try to go in there looking like that, then the staff is going to stop you before you even get close to the door.”

“I…” Scott attempted to argue, but stopped himself and nodded, “I suppose I’ll see if I can find someone to stitch me up.”

“I’ll talk to someone and get you some scrubs or something to wear,” Maria offered up in yet another attempt to offer him an olive branch, “We can get you into a shower and…”

“That isn’t really necessary. I can…” he stopped himself again. Softening his tone, he tried a new approach with her, “I guess that couldn’t hurt to clean up.”

“I’ll see whose arm I have to twist to make it happen,” she replied reaching up to push a piece of her dark hair behind her ear. She tilted her head to the side watching him closely as something crossed over her features, “Look about before…”

“The serum worked,” Scott cut her off abruptly, “and that’s something right?”

“Scott, even so…” Maria cleared her throat and looked over to him again, “Look I know that…”

“It’s just been a long night and an even longer morning, so we don’t have to dispose of pleasantries with one another. I think it’s pretty clear where we stand on things,” he interrupted finding himself increasingly uncomfortable in her attempts to be nice to him after the night of hell in thinking about the possibility of losing Logan, “Now that we know Logan is out of critical condition, I think it best for us to start reviewing the detail of what happened last night. I’m sure that Fury wants my statement now and...”

“Clint and I took care of it. We told him that we were blindsided by the guards during our operation,” she reminded him with the beginnings of a scowl. She spoke up behind gritted teeth as a breath spilled over her tight lips, “Markus was clearly alerted to our arrival and…”

“He wanted to make sure that we didn’t get any vital information out of that warehouse. He knew we’d come looking for it, but he was going to make sure we didn’t find all our answers,” Scott finished for her with a frown, “He didn’t want us going in there so he made sure that we didn’t have a chance at getting into his system.”

“He undoubtedly left breadcrumbs in an attempt to make us believe that we’d made a small victory, but…” Maria nodded in agreement.

“It was nothing more than an illusion,” Scott finished for her before another thought carried over him, “I didn’t have a lot of time to dig deep into the system, but…”

“The thing about Markus is that he’s good a working with puzzles,” Maria began as her eyes darted beyond where Scott was standing to look out the windows into the courtyard Scott had spent most of the night staring into, “Everything with him is simply a quest to beat and…”

“He pulled out all the stops to see to it that we lost last night,” Scott finished with heaviness in his chest.

“Even though we tried our best to beat him,” Maria stopped herself when a flash of something passed over her pale features, “After the fire…Markus made sure that our mission was a complete failure…at least part of it was.”

“Maria…” Scott cleared his throat and shuffled on his feet when she raised her chin up to look at him once again.

“Clint told me that you gave him the drive. I’ve got Fury working on it right now given that Markus has a cypher on it,” her lips curved downward in the beginnings of a scowl.

“I’m aware,” Scott nodded, “but I imagine it won’t take long for Fury and the rest of your team to crack it given your history with Markus.”

“I hope not,” Maria spoke up in an uncertain tone., “but still… Even after what I did…knowing that I led you astray…I just…for you to do that in handing over the information like you did…”

“I did it for Clint,” Scott spoke up stiffly. He looked over to the courtyard again noticing that a robin was perched upon one of the tree branches pecking at a berry on the tiny branch before him. He let out a sigh thinking about Clint and their conversation the previous evening, “He’s already been through more than enough because of all of this. Don’t you think?”

“I honestly didn’t know that those men would be there last night, Scott. I knew very little about Hagan other than he was one of Abaddon’s henchman since I had very limited clearance when it came to that particular case,” Maria offered up as Scott found himself glaring at her once again.

“That’s no excuse,” Scott frowned back at her, “You were the one who was running this mission, which means you needed to be prepared for every possibility that we could encounter when…”

“I had very limited knowledge of that mission and it’s existence until Clint…” Maria stopped herself with a frown, “I knew that something had shaken him over the border. I knew that his mission went bad in ways that he didn’t want to talk about, but I never imagined…”

“…that you’d be leading us back into that nightmare once again?” Scott questioned folding his arms in front of his chest. He tilted his head down and watched her with an intense scrutiny, “It isn’t like you to come into battle unprepared Hill. That goes against everything you believe in. I expected more out of you.”

“I was prepared, but not for this. I had no idea that Markus was so closely connected to Abaddon and her men,” Maria continued to explain herself, but she knew enough to realize that the damage had been done on their mission, “I made a mistake and put you all at risk. A member of my team almost lost his life and that is unforgivable. I see that now.”

“No,” Scott sighed as the burden of responsibility carried over him, “As much as I would like to say this all falls on you, you don’t get to shoulder the responsibility for all of this. I knew that we didn’t belong in there. When Clint spotted the guards, I should’ve called things off and I didn’t. Unlike you I knew what they were doing in Canada. I knew what they were capable of doing, but I kept focusing on the damned mission thinking that we had to finish this and…”

“You promised me that you would see things through,” Maria finished knowingly, “I knew that you would when I made the request.”

“Even so, that doesn’t make me any less culpable for what is taking place with Logan,” Scott confessed feeling an ache centering in over his chest again as guilt hung heavy in his heart, “I’m responsible for what happened to him.”

“If I can’t accept all the blame for this, then neither can you Scott. Logan knew full well what he was getting himself into when he went into that building,” Maria pointed out after a long hesitation, “He knew that you were in danger. He was the one who spotted those men on the building and…”

“He did what he always does in running into the fire without taking the time to assess the risk,” Scott finished with a painful expression on his face, “Knowing that I was on the inside…”

“He didn’t hesitate,” Maria finished for him, “but you wouldn’t have wanted him to. He did the right thing in trying to help you.”

“We never should’ve been put into that position to begin with,” Scott refused to allow himself an out to the situation, “I should’ve realized that Logan wouldn’t just stand down.”

“You can’t control Logan any more than the rest of us,” Maria reminded him simply, “Even if you are his team leader, he’s always been a bit of a free spirit when it comes to doing what he wants and…”

“What he wanted was to protect me and it almost cost him his life,” Scott snapped in recoil. Turning his back to her, he walked over by the windows once again watching as the bird had moved on to another berry on the tree he’d been observing. It seemed so at peace in its surroundings as Scott watched it fly up to a higher part of the tree to a nest that was barely hidden by the leaves.

“Scott…” Maria’s voice resonated in the room behind him.

“Not now,” Scott shook his head dismissively, preparing to lose himself to his guilt again when he felt he felt her hand on his shoulder.

“Doing this to yourself won’t help him now,” Maria softened her tone, “I know that you’d rather carry the weight of this, but you don’t have to.”

“I knew better,” Scott sighed.

“Maybe we both did, but Logan is still here and that’s something worth celebrating,” she squeezed his shoulder again before finally letting go. He heard her footsteps scrape across the flooring before she spoke up again in a quieter tone, “Even though I don’t deserve everything you’ve done for me, I can’t help, but be grateful that you did what you did in giving Clint the drive. That changes everything.”

“I did it because it was the right thing to do,” Scott clarified feeling the tension building in his lower spine, reminding him of the stress that he’d carried with him most of the time.

“Even so you had every reason in the world to withhold that information Scott, but you didn’t,” Maria reminded him once again, “Even though you were angry…”

“What would that accomplish?” Scott questioned turning around to face her once again, “She isn’t responsible for the things that other people have done up until this point. She’s an innocent and knowing that she’s out there with Markus calling the shots on this…”

“You have to believe me when I say that I never wanted this for her,” Maria’s eyes glazed over with a hint of emotion, “When I made the decision to give her a better life…”

“It isn’t my place to judge,” Scott answered curtly, “I just provided the information that…”

“No, you did more than that,” Maria explained with a flicker of hope over her features, “You have no idea how long I’ve been searching for an answer about what happened to her only to discover that she was missing and Markus was...”

“…using that to manipulate you and your reactions,” Scott finished for her.

“He hasn’t yet, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t believe it was around the corner. Regardless of what you think of me, I tried to do right by her. When I let her go…” Maria’s words trailed off.

“You didn’t expect her to be front and center on his hit list,” Scott finished when the color drained from her tired features, “I understand that, but at the same time I just wish you would’ve said something sooner because if you had told me the truth…”

“What difference would it have made?” she questioned in a harsh, abrasive tone.

“I guess we’ll never know, now will we?” Scott began to turn away from her again.

“Wait…” she reached for his arm again, “Scott…”

“What?” he frowned.

“The truth is that I…I wasn’t sure how to face it myself,” Maria choked up on her words. She stood up taller, rolling her shoulders back and attempting to keep up the façade she’d carried with her on most occasions, but now as she stood before him exhausted and filled with regret, it seemed that mask that often surrounded her was slipping, “As it stood I’d failed her once already and now, in knowing that I’d simply opened her up to Markus and the others…”

“If he’s aware of the fact that she’s Clint’s daughter…that he’s her father… If he takes the time to think about Clint’s connection to Abaddon…” Scott’s thoughts got the best of him when he realized that Maria’s hands were shaking.

“Abaddon’s going to be furious that Hagan is dead,” Maria finished for him with a worried expression on her face, “Once she learns that Clint did what he did…”

“Make sure she doesn’t,” Scott approached her. Looking around the room he lowered his voice as he reached out to touch her shoulder, “Use your connections at the agency to let everyone who would be tempted to pass the word onto her in prison think it was me. Tell them that I’m the one who dealt with Hagan. Keep Clint away from this as much as possible and…”

“It’s too late for that,” Maria’s blue eyes shifted across the room to the news station playing on the television screen. She watched as the news report rehashed the story of the fire that took place in Kingston hours before their failed attempt at working their way through Markus’s compound, “He told Fury everything about his role in Hagan’s ending. He went on record during his statement and…”

“He needs help Maria,” Scott sighed knowing only too well that Clint was beyond traumatized by the things he’d endured, “Right now he might be feeling that he’s ready to move forward and finally put this behind him, but we both know that…”

“…it’s not over for him,” she finished knowingly, “I realize that having Hagan gone is a step in the right direction, but…”

“A man can never truly forget that kind of evil,” Scott finished somberly, “The things that Abaddon did to him—to all of us…”

“Scott, what happened there?” she questioned moving in closer to him, “Clint has only said so much about it, but…”

“If there was ever a reason to believe in hell on earth, it would start and end with Abaddon,” Scott divulged quietly. Looking around the room he felt a chill in the air that had entirely nothing to do with the environment and everything to do with the memory that still haunted him, “Just like her namesake she was a demon. In so many ways she was out to watch the world burn around her. She wanted to destroy all those who opposed her views and on that path to destruction she found her followers. Each one of them would’ve laid their life down for hers.”

“I’ve seen that much,” Maria noted bringing her arm around her body as if the cold in the air carried down deep into her. When her hand pressed in over her abdomen, Scott spoke up in a quiet voice.

“She brainwashed so many of them into believing in her implicitly, but the atrocities that she thrust upon Clint…” Scott stopped himself when he looked out into the courtyard again, “It’s a wonder he was able to find his way out of there after I arrived. Logan and I were hit hard as well, but…”

“What?” she asked urgently.

“It isn’t my place to tell his story,” Scott dismissed the thought as the memory of what they’d endured swept back into that dark place in the back of his mind where he’d filtered away the dark, repressed memories. Yes, for a moment it had slipped into his mind, but he refused to allow it to consume him when he looked to Maria again, “I know that you think you can save him, but you need to let him find a way to deal with his trauma. He needs real help from someone who is equipped to handle this type of situation and…”

“I know that,” she swallowed down a sharp breath when her eyes were clouded by tears that Scott was convinced, she would rather die than reveal to him. However, with her trembling before him, he found that perhaps he wasn’t the only one who’d found themselves lost in a night of reflection, “Believe me this is the last thing that I wanted to do to him—to any of us, but when I ran out of options…”

“Maria…” Scott spoke her name when she let out a pinched whimper. She pushed one hand up through her short, dark hair as if to dismiss her thoughts, but it was no use as her eyes were clouded over by emotion.

“I only brought him into this because I just imagined that…” she bit down on her lower lip, “When he was going through all of the nightmares—when it seemed that he’d lost hope in the world around him, I really tried.”

“I’m sure you did, but…”

“He was in this dark place where,” she paused contemplating her words before tilting her chin up to look at Scott directly, “He’d lost all hope in the world around him right around the time that I discovered she went missing. Only then did I tell him that…”

“He was her father?” Scott questioned.

She nodded, “At the time…I just…I dealt with everything on my own, but now that she’s missing… He had no idea that she even existed and now he might not ever get the opportunity to see her. She’s in terrible danger right now and…”

“We’re going to find her,” Scott promised going against his anger in favor of taking a bold, uncharacteristic move in reaching out to pull her into an embrace. At first he’d expected her to pull away from him—to fight against the gesture, but much to his surprise she buried her face in his chest breaking into tiny sobs as if the weight of the secret she’d been carrying with her all this time had finally broken her resolve.

“I just wish…if I’d known that someone could get to her…” Maria choked up on her words, caught up in a pain that Scott knew full well he had no right to judge inside of her, “At the time I really believed that I was doing the right thing. I truly thought that a life outside of our world was safer for her. She had no reason to be held accountable for our past and I knew that if she was with me, she would never be safe. I wanted her to have all the things that neither one of us experienced growing up. I was so convinced she would have love and happiness in the world outside of ours and…”

“Hey,” Scott squeezed his arms around her tighter than before, “we’re going to find her and when we do, you’re going to have a second chance at making things right.”

“Because I’ve been doing such a bang-up job of it so far,” Maria let out a pinched, ironic laugh, “Face it, Summers, we both know that I’m in no position to be a mother. I can’t even deal with a colleague on an interpersonal level let alone a child. You know as well as I do that at this point that I’m too caught up in the game to be what anyone needs…”

“Only because you keep allowing yourself to be a player,” Scott suggested feeling her stiffen against his embrace, “Look I know that you and Clint are complicated, but…”

“Last night I told him to go back home to Laura and the kids,” Maria divulged quietly. She cleared her throat and attempted to pull herself together when she took a step back out of Scott’s arms. She cleared her throat and shook the thought, instead wiping at the tracks of tears that had covered her otherwise neutral features, “I told him that his part of the mission was over and that he wasn’t needed here any longer. I dismissed him from the mission and…”

“Maria…” Scott began watching her wipe at her face.

“It was the right thing to do. He needs to sort things out away from all of this chaos,” Maria cleared her throat again. She rubbed at her cheek again attempting to clear her head before she forced herself to look up at Scott again, “It will be good for him to return to the farm to clear his head and…”

“But you still want him here, yes?” Scott questioned knowing only too well that he was crossing a line in questioning her, “Not because of the mission, but because…”

“It doesn’t matter what I want or what…” she answered stiffly when he realized that she was closing herself off from the intimacy of the conversation they were having with one another, “I’m not helping him in all of this and his family needs him.”

“I won’t argue that, but at the same time…” Scott hesitated seemingly caught up in his own lingering situation with his failed marriage to Jean and his tortured romance with Logan.

“This is good for him. He knows what matters the most. He might be lost, but his priorities are in the right place. He’s always been a family man. That’s always been the most important thing to him even above the mission so going home will be good for him. It will keep him from any further harm and…,” Maria’s hand dropped down over her abdomen when Scott realized that she looked a bit shaky. She sucked in a sharp breath as if she was trying to calm her nerves when her fingers stretched out over her abdomen.

“Maria, are you really sure that you should send him off now before you’ve properly had time to talk about…things?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when she looked up at him once again.

“I think the window for that opportunity closed years ago,” Maria let out a long sigh, “If it hadn’t been for Markus stepping in like he did, then I wouldn’t have said anything to him. I know now that I made a mistake in…”

“Letting him know that he has a daughter out there that he never had the opportunity to be a father to?” Scott questioned unable to mask his disappointment, “Do you have any idea how that must feel to him right now? To know that something so important was withheld from him all this time when…?”

“It’s not really a matter of concern for this mission. Clint is out of this now,” Maria’s face further drained of color. She was massaging her abdomen as if trying to deal with a wave of nausea that seemed to rock over her, “We can’t look back on this. We can only move forward and…”

“What happened last night wasn’t your original plan for us, was it?” Scott questioned with a newfound curiosity. Watching her closely, she seemed increasingly on edge with her eyes shifting around the empty hallway as if seeking out an escape to their conversation.

“It doesn’t matter what I had planned considering that everything fell to shit when…” she sighed bringing one hand up through her messy, dark hair.

“The plans changed though, right?” Scott pushed further, “Even after he knew about his daughter, there was more to what has been going on between the both of you.”

“That’s none of your business. My sex life isn’t…” Maria spoke up behind a pinched hiss.

“Your sex life was every bit as important to what was happening last night as mine was,” Scott asserted boldly. He opened his mouth to say something more when he noticed that her face seemed to grow hot with a flush that rose in her features, “Maria?”

“Scott,” she frowned looking away from him. She took in a slow, uneasy breath when the scent of cleaner and food being prepared down the hallway in the cafeteria swept into the room with the opening of the double doors. Almost immediately she clenched her stomach again looking as if she would vomit as two of the nurses walked through the room with wrapped packages of food that carried with them the pungent aroma of onions. As they passed by Maria practically gagged, bringing her hand up to her mouth and swallowing down a hard gasp, “I’ll be right back.”

“Maria…” Scott called out to her watching as she rushed out of the hallway into the tiny bathroom down the hall and to the right. In her retreat, she seemed to almost be running—to fight against her instincts when she pushed her way into the women’s room undoubtedly reacting to the strong smells that had surrounded them in the morning.

“I don’t know why, but ever since I had my first son, I’ve always craved these horrible things each time I pull an all-nighter. There’s just something about the steak and onion blended with the cheese in these that tastes like heaven after a long night on a double shift,” one nurse said to the other as they walked past Scott, “Not that I’ve ever been a fan of hospital food, but Murray really knows how to make these breakfast subs.”

“I don’t know,” the other nurse wrinkled her nose in response, “I mean maybe for a late shift, but in the morning…I just can’t take all of that. Hell, I remember the last time I was pregnant I would get nausea each time I walked past the cafeteria when I got a whiff of those things. They smell like someone is working to raise the dead. They’re hideous.”

“To each their own. I happen to think they are fantastic,” the first nurse shrugged as the two swept by Scott to cross through the double doors at the opposite end of the room. With their exit, Scott found himself focusing on Maria’s retreat—on the way that she’d rushed away in a haste, clearly overwhelmed by the scents of the food she’d taken in. He pondered it for a few minutes of quiet weighing out his thoughts before she returned to join him again looking a bit more put together than she’d been in her retreat.

“Sorry about that,” Maria apologized refusing to look directly at him, “The smoke inhalation is still getting to me from the fire I guess and…”

“Yeah,” Scott paused giving her a long once over, “the smoke played hell on all of us, didn’t it?”

“Absolutely,” Maria nodded in response.

“It sort of shifted all of our plans when we were caught up in all of that,” Scott noted watching her shift on her feet, “I mean with the explosions and with everyone running around in the smoke…”

“It was pretty intense,” she agreed with him.

“So much so that you weren’t worried really taking the time to think about what we’d originally set out to do in going to the warehouse.”

“What do you mean?” she asked curiously.

“You and I were the ones who agreed to partner in all of this. From that night on the club, you wanted me to be the one working with you,” Scott continued as she seemed a bit shaky before him, “You were so insistent that we were in this together and…”

“That’s always been the plan,” she nodded in response.

“Yeah, I get that. Granted you weren’t always forthcoming with me, but you were the one who was ready to dive head fist into the action with me and…”

“Scott, what’s your point?” she frowned.

“Last night just felt different.”

“Different how?” she questioned, “Aside from Logan being in harm’s way…”

“You aren’t one to sit on the sidelines,” Scott asserted watching as she shifted her weight on her feet, “You don’t expect those who are working for you to be the only ones front and center in the action when…”

“You needed adequate cover,” she reminded him.

“I won’t argue that, but I’m also aware Clint is more than adequate. He’s actually one of the best,” Scott noted with a frown, “I know that he’s far more capable than any of us in that position.”

“Even so…”

“You weren’t thinking about the others at the warehouse last night and their impact upon Clint and Logan because you were originally going to be the one going in there with me,” Scott deduced watching her fingers skim over the front of her black t-shirt before she dropped her hand down at her side.

“I mean I’d considered it, yes, given that we’d been partners on this one.” she nodded in response, “I know it was kind of last minute, but…”

“You and I knew the warehouse plans inside and out. At the hotel we were the ones who had retained the knowledge of where everything was located,” Scott deduced with a tip of his head, “It would’ve made sense for us to go inside together and seek out the information.”

“That’s true, but Clint was more than capable of accompanying you when…” Maria began again with a frown.

“Under most circumstances he’s capable yes, but I’m convinced that you’d intended to let him work with Logan covering us on the rooftop while you and I worked our way through the gate together,” Scott continued to hypothesize when the air around them seemed to be filled with a different kind of tension, “It made the most sense for us to go in as a unit given how close we both are to this situation, but after the fire something changed. When you were at the hotel you had to pull back. It is almost as if you realized that there was no way you could possibly be the one to take that risk considering that…”

“Scott,” Maria’s eyes shifted around the hospital waiting room again, drawing in an uneasy breath when the weight of his words carried over her, “Last night when we planned it all out, I realized that my original plans weren’t going to work. Markus knows what we both look like and…”

“His guards didn’t,” Scott prompted her further, “Hell, you were the only one who was untouched by the mission in Canada, so it would’ve made total sense for you to be the driver.”

“I already told you that I wasn’t aware that Abaddon’s people would be working for Markus in that setting. At the time…” Maria explained with an impatient huff.

“You were set on doing your job, but then something changed,” Scott arched a curious brow. He gave her a long, thorough once over as things became painfully clear before him.

“You knew full well that I wasn’t aware of their presence when I let Clint go in my place. It was the right decision to make at the time and if they hadn’t been there waiting for us…”

“In your hotel room after we ate dinner you ran off to the bathroom just like you did before and…” Scott noted watching as a scowl carried over her lips.

“I’m not always big on barbecue,” she answered folding her arms in front of her chest, “It doesn’t always agree with me, but then again neither does this conversation. What does my not being a big fan of barbecue have to do with the fact that…?”

“You couldn’t go in there because if you did, then there was a chance that you could lose more than you were willing to risk if things soured. You were concerned that putting yourself in harm’s way would mean…” Scott’s words trailed off when he found himself caught up in a moment of understanding, “How far along are you?”

“What are you talking about?” Maria wrinkled her nose at him. Her eyes were filled with stubborn determination, but her face was twisted by what Scott decided was the nerve he’d struck in her.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Scott questioned sympathetically, “That’s why you stepped down last night.”

“Oh please,” she rolled her eyes at him, “For you to draw that conclusion based on my not liking barbecue…”

“Jean used to have morning sickness at all hours of the day when we were…” Scott’s words trailed off. He cleared his throat and turned to face her again, “I know the signs.”

“I didn’t know that you and Jean were…” Maria’s eyes widened with surprise.

Scott nodded, “Not long after we were married, we were expecting, but it…it didn’t work out. After the Phoenix possessed her…”

“Oh Scott,” Maria’s face softened at his admission.

“We both had hoped it would turn out differently, but when it didn’t…” Scott cleared his throat and looked away from her, “It was a long time ago. We came to terms with the outcome. We both knew that at the time it hadn’t been in the cards, but…it taught me a lot about the telltale signs of pregnancy. At first, I was clueless about it just like Jean said I would be, but after a few weeks of morning sickness brought on by pungent smells and odd midnight cravings…well, it was kind of hard to forget.”

“Scott,” Maria opened her mouth to say something more when Scott simply responded with a sad smile.

“So how far along are you Maria?” he questioned again, pushing down any emotion in his tone in favor of cutting to the point in their conversation.

“A little over twelve weeks,” Maria blurted out in a cool, distanced voice.

“Does Clint…does he realize that…?” Scott moved in closer to her catching the expression on her face when she looked down at her feet again.

“After the fire he figured it out,” Maria’s muffled words fell from her lips, “When the paramedics were with me after the fire, I had to disclose the situation just to be safe given the risk involved. He overheard one of them speaking to me about it and…”

“And he’s…” Scott cleared his throat. He looked up seeing a security officer over by the door when he moved in closer to Maria. Reaching out to touch her elbow, he bent down to speak quietly, “He’s the…?”

“The father? Yeah, I mean I’d like to say that it didn’t work out that way—that there were other options beyond my still very married coworker, but I haven’t been with anyone else in a very long time. Long before you all were in Canada on that mission if I’m being honest. My job has kind of been my life so there wasn’t really room for…well, that,” she finished for him with a small, poignant smile, “Talk about fucking irony, right? Here I am telling him that he needs to fix things with his wife and I’ve yet again become an added complication that he doesn’t need in his life.”

“So, you’re saying that…” Scott watched her shake her head with sad laughter.

“They say that lightning doesn’t strike twice, but in our case…” Maria bit back on the pained expression on her face, “Clint’s full of surprises I guess.”

“So then…?” Scott fought to contain the surprise that carried over him.

“Once again we made things too personal with one another. Maybe it was because we had this certain nostalgia from when we were together before that still lingered between us. There was just this thing that simply wouldn’t just slip away like we’d intended for it to do years ago when we decided to stop trying,” she finished pushing her hand through her hair again. She moved in closer to him lowering her voice as her nerves seemed to be getting the best of her, “And just for the record it wasn’t my idea to stand down on the mission. I was fully prepared to go in there with you, but Clint…”

“He wasn’t having it,” Scott noted watching her closely.

“He’s a stubborn impossible man who has this misguided sense of chivalry that makes things far more difficult than they need to be,” Maria continued to recount with a scowl when her eyes flashed with a momentary frustration, “I told him that everything would be fine and I would take care of it, but he’s so unbelievably stubborn. I’ve been more than capable of holding my own thus far, but when he thought that there could be a chance that I would have a problem…”

“He told you to stand down,” Scott realized watching her nod.

“I told him that it wasn’t his call to make because I was the one running this, but he fought against it,” Maria bit down on her bottom lip, “We argued quite a bit before you arrived with Logan.”

“About the baby?” Scott questioned.

“About everything Scott,” Maria confessed throwing her hands up in the air, “I told you he’s all about family, so when he found out that I not only withheld the information about us having a daughter from him all those years ago on top of not telling him that I was pregnant again…”

“He must’ve been crushed,” Scott realized watching her force a pinched, nervous laugh.

“Furious is more like it,” Maria’s voice cracked with emotion, “He was upset that I hadn’t thought to say anything to him sooner about our situation, but it wasn’t the time. As you said he hasn’t been himself in a long time and…”

“Why didn’t you say anything to him? If he’s the father, then…?” Scott questioned.

“What business is it of yours?” she curled her fingers into fists at her sides, “It’s my body and my choice what I plan on doing with it. At first when it happened, I wasn’t planning on it. I’ve been on birth control for years, so I just dismissed it as the stress of the mission, but then I had to do one of those routine yearly physicals that the agency puts us through. I didn’t think at the time that I was in a position to be concerned, but…”

“But you were,” Scott finished watching her nod.

“Talk about blind, stupid luck,” Maria groaned outwardly, “Clint and I had just started talking about cooling things off because we were getting to that place where we were before. Things were evolving between us, but we both knew that couldn’t ever happen. He’d even mentioned trying to work things out with Laura right around the time I found out so who was I to stop that from happening?”

“Maria…” Scott softened his tone.

“It’s not like I was expecting to be pregnant. I mean it wasn’t like we weren’t careful about what we were doing. It just…happened and now...”

“He’s angry that you withheld that information from him. Family is everything to him, so naturally after what happened before…,” Scott realized thinking about the exchange he’d shared with Clint the previous evening, “That’s why he was so upset with you. It wasn’t just about the warehouse. It was about the fact that…”

“He’s in a position to lose everything all because the two of us got caught up in something that undoubtedly never should’ve started again in the first place,” she confessed breaking through the seemingly unbreakable facade that she’d carried with her during their duration of their exchanges, “When he first came back from Canada, he was on self-destruct mode. Everyone could see it, but they just kept ignoring it—pretending that if he could just focus on the job that everything would fall into place. Even Fury said that it was best to let him work through it, but I knew better. I know how he gets when he locks himself up in that place where he’s dealing with trauma and…”

“You decided to help him,” Scott finished knowingly.

“I didn’t want to be anything more than a support system, but he started taking on these dangerous missions that he had no business being a part of. Each one felt riskier than the last and it was clear that something was wrong. He was locked inside this cage that Abaddon put upon his mind. For so long he was so closed off—as if he had this wall around him and with each passing day he was slipping further down a dark path,” she explained looking around the corridor once again, “Time and time again I tried to reach him—to find a way to help him through what was going on, but by that time he and Laura had split. He walked away from her and the kids. He was so lost after everything and it was almost like it was back when we first met. Back before the complications. It was just the two of us again caught up in this nostalgia that we’d never really gotten any closure on after I screwed things up. I hadn’t intended for it to happen, but I made a mistake. I got too close and now…”

“Hey,” Scott began watching her crumbling before him.

“Everything I spent years trying to build for myself is gone because I was too stupid to just keep holding onto something that just wasn’t meant to be. I knew better than to get wrapped up in all of this, but I just started slipping and now…” Maria choked up on her words.

“Maria,” Scott spoke her name feeling a moment of awkwardness overtake him when he thought about the vulnerability that she was revealing to him. While they hadn’t been too close to one another by any means in the past, in watching her overtaken in her frustration, Scott found himself moving in closer to her. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms again as her sobs overtook her again.

A few seconds later, the sound of the double doors opening again caused him to look up to discover another pair of nurses approaching them. This time knowing how important her privacy was, Scott gently coaxed her to follow him towards the chapel through the door at the opposite end of the room in the hopes of sparing her any kind of embarrassment for speaking candidly with him in public. Once they were alone together, standing in the center of the tiny white marble covered chapel, Scott pulled her into another supportive embrace, “It’s okay.”

“No,” she laughed lightly placing her hand over the center of his chest, “It’s really not considering that this isn’t me at all.”

“Maybe it is, but you just refused to accept that this part of you exists,” Scott shrugged his shoulders simply.

“This part of me is a hot mess,” Maria groaned outwardly, “That has put everything in her life in jeopardy all because she didn’t think about the long-term outcome.”

“Who does when it comes to matters of the heart?” Scott offered up with another shrug, “Love doesn’t let us call the shots.”

“You don’t believe that, do you?” she eyed him suspiciously.

“Not really,” Scott divulged with a pained expression on his face, “I analyze everything that I do to the point of exhaustion.”

“So do I which is why I can’t fathom how I let all of this happen,” Maria explained leaning into him once again, “I very seldom get off track, but when I do, it is a huge train wreck each and every time.”

“You were sleeping with Clint Barton,” Scott couldn’t help, but tease her much to her distain, “What did you expect?”

“Says the man who is sleeping with Wolverine,” Maria tossed back at him flippantly, “No offense, but I can’t even imagine how you can…”

“It’s best if you don’t,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth as he found himself increasingly uncomfortable in the exchange.

“You’ve got a point,” Maria cleared her throat and revealed a tired breath, “I just…I don’t do this sort of thing. I don’t make it a practice to sleep with married men.”

“I didn’t say that you did,” Scott replied with a shrug.

“No, but I’m sure you’re thinking about it. You’re undoubtedly making judgments on my character based upon…”

“Why would I judge any of this?” Scott questioned pointedly, “I’m married and we both know that Logan and I are…”

“That’s different,” Maria wrinkled her nose at him, “You and Jean aren’t in the same position as Clint and Laura and…”

“No, it’s undoubtedly worse because I’ve been emotionally cheating on my wife for years long before she chose to step out on me,” Scott answered guiltily. Turning his head away he let out a long, painful sigh before fighting to bury the emotion, “I’m a terrible person Maria.”

“Yeah, well join the club,” Maria let out a pained laugh, “There’s always room for one more on the dark side of things.”

“You can’t help what your heart feels,” Scott blurted out realizing that no truer words had fallen from his lips, “When you fall, you can work like hell to pull yourself out of it, but sometimes you can’t.”

“Falling in love with someone shouldn’t be so damned hard,” Maria groaned outwardly as if the statement in itself was nothing more than a curse upon the both of them, “There should be certain rules that a person must uphold when they are in my position that…”

“We don’t exactly get to pick when life decides to throw us a shit storm,” Scott couldn’t help, but offer up a small smile as she looked up at him, “I mean I’m not exactly the poster child for normalcy here.”

“You have a point there,” Maria replied with an ironic, amused laugh, “and if anyone told me that you’d be trying to play my therapist after I almost destroyed everything that mattered to you last night, I would tell them that…”

“…you were wrong,” Scott finished for her, “which last I heard happens to the best of us every now and then.”

“Even so. Why are you being so nice to me?” Maria questioned pushing away from him with a frown, “After everything we’ve been through the last thing you should be is…”

“…understanding to the fact that you made an error in a judgment call because you thought about something beyond the job at a time when it was inconvenient to you?” Scott folded his arms in front of his chest watching as she placed a distance between them. She matched his movement folding her arms in front of her chest as well and tilting her head up to look at him, “Let’s be honest if you’d told me this last night, I would’ve undoubtedly sided with Clint.”

“Because you’re a chauvinist just like most men when it comes to…”

“Because I know enough to see that children aren’t meant to be part of this mission,” Scott corrected with a small frown, “It isn’t an attack on your ability, but there are just some things that you need to give more weight to.”

“I’ve given weight to it Scott, but…” Maria opened her mouth to protest.

“I would give anything to have had the hindsight to be more cautious when Jean was pregnant,” Scott explained in a cool, distanced voice. His thoughts traveled to a place he’d forced himself to shut off for a while now, but for a brief, poignant moment of recall it slipped inside again, “I would’ve made sure she was safe at all costs if it meant that our child could be here today.”

“In this particular situation…” Maria opened her mouth to protest.

“If I’d known the details of the situation, I probably would’ve insisted upon taking Clint with me as well,” Scott cut her off abruptly, “Granted I would’ve just aborted the mission entirely if I’d known what we were going to encounter, but…”

“This was the last complication I needed,” Maria pushed her hand up through her messy, dark hair, “I’ve put years into this mission and…”

“…at least we’re closer to closing it,” Scott offered up with a shake of his head, “I mean Markus has kind of redirected his rage upon me and…”

“What happened with him last night?” Maria couldn’t help, but question when her own concerns faded into the mission once again, “You mentioned that he issued you a challenge and…”

“It’s a long story,” Scott shook his head dismissively, “but I took care of it.”

“Is that what all those bodies were about?” she questioned lowering her voice so that their conversation was theirs alone, “You taking care of it?”

“Maria,” he paused listening to the sounds of others walking past where they were standing at the back of the chapel.

“I know that we haven’t taken the time to discuss it in depth, but…”

“You should be focusing on other things,” Scott reminded her.

“If you tell me how I should be taking care of myself due to my delicate condition, I’m going to warn you now that I’m going to punch you,” she snapped in recoil, “Despite the way things turned out, this isn’t my first time doing this.”

“But it’s the first time you decided to bring Clint into the situation.”

“It’s not like I had a choice,” she scoffed before pacing around the room.

“You love him, don’t you?” Scott couldn’t help but ask wondering what the hesitation had been in his companion.

“Love doesn’t have anything to do with my decision. I was being pragmatic at a time when…” she trailed off bringing one hand up through her short, dark hair. Letting out a long sigh, she spoke up again in a calmer tone, “I’m not as cold and cruel as everyone believes me to be.”

“I never said,” Scott opened his mouth to clarify.

“You think you know me, but you don’t,” she pinched her lips together, “It wasn’t like I wasn’t intentionally trying to keep him out of the loop the first time around. When I found out I was pregnant he was gone. Because of his past, he’d gotten himself into trouble with the law and he made the choice to resolve that. He did what he had to do in order to make things right and I… I’d made the decision back then that we weren’t ready for that kind of responsibility. We hardly knew one another when it happened. I’d spent only a few days with him, and he was…well, he wasn’t available for a consult. His life was in shambles and I’d just started getting things together at the agency. I was already on some shaky ground before he and I met and…”

“You wanted your daughter to have a better life,” Scott finished for her, “I get that.”

“No, you really don’t,” Maria remarked with a small, hollow laugh, “You have no idea how hard it was to give up the only part of yourself that ever held any kind of meaning. After all the mistakes I’d made, she was the one thing in this world that I did right. She was the only thing that I had that was a part of me that wasn’t tainted by everything that I am. She was so perfect and wonderful, which is why I knew I had to let her go. She deserved so much more than I had to give…”

“Maria…” Scott watched her struggling with herself as they stood together in the quiet chapel.

“I honestly didn’t think I would ever see Clint again and my life wasn’t exactly one for parenthood. You know what the job entails and…” Maria stopped herself. She reached up and wipe at her face forcing herself to let go of the emotions that carried over her, “I gave her a better life and hoped that she would never be touched by any of this.”

“I can understand your reasoning.”

“It doesn’t matter now. That’s the worst part of all of this. Everything I did to protect her is irrelevant,” she explained in frustration, “Now that Markus knows about her…”

“You think he orchestrated her kidnapping as retaliation for your involvement with him on the mission?” Scott questioned watching her face drain of all color, “You believe he’s trying to punish you for trying to take him down.”

“It’s a more desirable solution than the alternative given Clint’s history with Abaddon. If this is about me, then it is something that I might be able to control, but if this is about Clint…,” Maria confessed with an uneasy breath.

“Then she’s in more danger than any of us realize,” Scott’s face drained of all color, “If Abaddon knows that she’s out there and that she’s Clint’s…”

“Clint’s already afraid to be with Laura and the kids. He fears for their lives, but now with this added pressure…” Maria bit down on her lower lips, “I don’t know how much more of it he can take. If I had any idea what happened in Canada, then…”

“It’s doubly important that Abaddon doesn’t find out that Clint was responsible for Hagan’s death,” Scott reminder her once again, “If she finds a way to that information…”

“Then we’ll never see our daughter again,” Maria finished somberly. There was a distance behind her eyes and an emptiness in her tone when she spoke up solemnly, “There were only a few people who knew about her existence at the time she was born. I tried to keep everything about her far away from all of this, but with the trials…”

“Let me guess. One of those few people who knew the truth was a volunteer,” Scott realized watching her closely, “That’s what got you invested in the process in the first place.”

“Initially no. I was there because we were keeping an eye on Markus and what he’s doing after he’d been given a bit more autonomy on his project.”

“If S.H.I.E.L.D. was running the show I doubt autonomy came into play,” Scott remarked with a snide undertone.

“It doesn’t matter because all of my good intentions went out the window once I’d stepped on board in this investigation. Once I got a good look at what was happening, I discovered that one of the men on the list of volunteers raised a flag for me. His name was different than the one he’d given me at the time we’d met, but his face…”

“You knew more about him than Markus did at that point in time,” Scott noted watching as her face was divided by troubled thoughts.

“He was a doctor who’d gone through a few years of hardship after he’d lost his family,” Maria explained drawing in a breath, “He’d been working for the government for years—doing some major work with some heavy hitters—working as their personal physician. During one instance, he’d been with a high-profile client, who’d been hosting a benefit in his home. What the client had failed to disclose was that there was a price on his head for stealing some tech from an underground arm’s dealer with a grudge on his mind. At the party it was a bloodbath—nearly everyone who’d been there had been a casualty…”

“Except for the doctor,” Scott finished knowingly.

Maria nodded, “He’d gone to his car to retrieve his medical bag after the host was experiencing a problem. During that time, he’d left the party and his family unattended and…”

“They were caught up in the crossfire,” Scott half questioned when the truth was evident in her uneasy expression.

“They never saw it coming. None of them did and the doctor,” she paused drawing in an uneasy breath, “After the arm’s dealer realized the man was a doctor, he’d forced the man into captivity, keeping him as his own personal physician for nearly two years before…”

“What?” Scott asked.

“He escaped,” Maria explained with a distance behind her eyes, “In the midst of a turf war, the doctor had lost himself to madness unable to grieve properly for the loss of his family. One night he ended up going on a rampage, caught up in a murder spree against those who had held him at the compound against his will. He’d taken his scalpel and a toxic cleaning agent to his captors before setting the compound on fire. Our people found him fifty miles south of the border bathed in blood and covered in the remains of the arm’s dealer that had stolen his family from him.”

“And S.H.I.E.L.D. thought it was a good idea to get that guy involved in Markus’s trials?” Scott’s eyes widened with surprise behind his glasses, “Those were the kind of volunteers they were taking inside?”

“The man was brilliant Scott,” Maria defended with a tiny shudder, “The things that he could do with his mind—with the groundbreaking research he’d made before he’d endured such a loss…”

“And somehow he was the man knew about your daughter?” Scott replied.

Maria nodded, “A friend of mine I’d known during my childhood in Chicago that I hadn’t spoken to in years had invited me to stay with her and her husband for a while during the months when I couldn’t hide it any longer. We were close as children, but after we left high school, we lost track of one another. After I found out I was pregnant I ran into her at a convention her husband was speaking at in New York City. It turns out that she and her husband were looking for a change of pace after years of hardship with one failed miscarriage after another. They were good people who wanted a family and…”

“You saw an opportunity to help them find the thing that they were missing in their lives,” Scott listened to her words.

“They were looking for a simple life in Montana away from the city. It was the opposite of what I had going on here, so when I suggested…”

“They were eager to take you up on it.”

Maria sighed, “Like I said they were good people so when I took some time away from the job, they were there to help through the process. We had it all planned out down to the letter so that I would give birth and they would raise my daughter as their own. None of this would ever touch them, but things didn’t go as planned.”

She paused as if weighing out her words, “The night I went into labor, my friend’s husband wasn’t available for the delivery. The man they brought into the trials—he wasn’t the man I’d intended to have deliver her, but the night she was born there was a lot of chaos happening in the world around us. The doctor on staff—he was merely an intern on staff at the time—a friend to my friend’s husband who’d agreed to be a part of the delivery. They were short staffed that night my daughter was born and…”

“This other guy stepped in?”

“He was someone my friend and her husband trusted so he delivered my daughter after I’d checked into the hospital under a false name. Everything had been put into motion months earlier and after I made sure that nothing could ever come back to me again as I’d tried to keep her safe, but…” Maria rubbed her hands together and looked over to the altar in front of her, “I wasn’t on the Markus case that long before I saw that the doctor was going to be a volunteer. His profile came across my desk, but when it did…”

“You knew him,” Scott finished.

“Time had changed him, but I recognized his face,” Maria confessed quietly, “It had been a while since he’d been a part of the delivery, but…”

“You were concerned that somewhere inside of him the memory was still there for him,” Scott noted watching her nod again.

“The memories are all we really have at the end of all of this,” Maria sighed looking over to the statue of Mary at the front of the chapel with her arms out at her side, “They define the person we are and who we may become. Even if we don’t think something holds a significance in our life if someone is able to tap into our subconscious, they gain access to each and every thought that has crossed through our minds.”

“And you were afraid if Markus started looking that your truth wouldn’t be safe any longer?” Scott finished watching her nod again.

“These trials aren’t about giving people what they desire. It’s about learning secrets that they harbor deep inside of them that can destroy the world around them. It is about reaching deep within and discovering just what makes that person tick—to know what you can do to make them bend and break. If Markus holds the power, then he can do whatever he pleases with the information. If he believes that he can use it to his advantage by offering it to the highest bidder…”

“You believe that he could find a way to use this man’s dormant memories to put your daughter in harm’s way in doing so,” Scott offered up with an uneasy breath.

“Along with anyone else who has been exposed to his trials. I have a lot of enemies, but it’s beyond that. We’re all in harm’s way Scott,” Maria pointed out with a frown, “Everything Markus has been doing proves that we aren’t safe and with my daughter…”

“She’s become a target because he knows that she’s yours even if she isn’t aware of that fact,” he finished for her.

“We both know that she’s already missing Scott. My friend and her husband died in a mysterious crash after a train derailed not long after the trials began,” Maria confessed with a tiny shudder, “The circumstances around the accident were shady at best, but they coincide with the volunteer’s involvement on the project. At the time my daughter was living out in Montana untouched by all of this. According to the report I ran the police officers at the scene say that she was with them when it happened—that somehow she miraculously survived the crash, but shortly after EMS arrived to help her she disappeared. Now no one can find her.”

“And you believe Markus played a hand in that?”

“The last time anyone had seen her was at his club sporting a fake ID she’d somehow picked up along the way out here from Montana,” Maria nodded behind gritted teeth. Her lips curved downward with lines of tension creasing the corners of her mouth, “No one can say how she found her way to the club or why she was there in the first place, but surveillance spotted her in the parking garage exactly three weeks before you arrived at the club ready to seek out Logan.”

“And you think that she walked into a trap when Markus discovered just who she was,” Scott finished watching her nod again.

“If he had any idea that she was mine that would be all the fuel he needed to reel her in. I don’t know if he’s the reason she found her way out here after she vanished from the scene of the accident, but once she wound up in his club…,” Maria paused with a small frown, “She never should’ve been in that place to begin with. She’s far too young to have been able to walk through those doors even with her fake id, but knowing that she was…”

“She’s just a child. She has to still be out here somewhere,” Scott offered up wondering if there was any truth to his words.

“I wish I could trust in that, but the club’s surveillance shows her walking with one of the bouncers into the back room leading to the area where the trials were being held. After that it is like she up and disappeared after everything played out like it did. At first, I thought that perhaps he’d taken her on as a volunteer in the trials, but as of this point there is no record of Markus taking on children as volunteers. Given her age and her abilities I don’t believe that Markus would…” Maria’s voice shook with concern.

“Her abilities?” Scott questioned looking over to Maria once again.

“She’s a mutant Scott,” Maria’s voice grew quieter when her actions betrayed her tone revealing she was anything, but at ease in his presence, “She’s only recently had her powers emerge and our intel on them isn’t clear, but…”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. has been watching her too,” Scott deduced with a frown, “which means that accident could’ve been means of them trying to…”

“…collect a new specimen that could potentially hold interest to them in this game they’d initiated with Markus,” Maria voice quivered with worry, “She’s just a child and…”

“You’re afraid that Markus might be using her to get to you,” Scott finished.

“If he isn’t at this point, someone will once they realize who and what she is. If Markus wants to deal with me, then by all means he can bring it on my way. I was more than ready to take him on by any means necessary, but then that night after we were at the club…” Maria tensed up when a crease formed in her brow, “Things had been tense in our negotiations for a while in dealing with Markus. I’d been working to find a way in for so long, but then when I finally seemed to break ground with him…”

“He found a way to twist the odds in his favor by finding something you didn’t want the world to know about,” Scott finished knowingly, “He discovered a vulnerability.”

“And he exploited it with everything he had,” she nodded, “I received an envelope at work around the time I was looking into the trials with a clipping about the accident. Granted I’d kept loose tabs on them with an occasional holiday card, but as far as I knew they were fine. The last time I’d checked in on them they were living on a ranch together. She was happy and safe and…”

“Maria…”

“It doesn’t matter now. The point is that someone sent that information to me on purpose. They wanted me to realize that nothing in my life was untouchable and that my secret was no longer mine to keep,” she explained with a heaviness in her voice. Her eyes were divided by fear and anger, revealing something more to the woman that Scott had only recently become strangely attached to in his quest to help Logan. Yes, they hadn’t always been on the up and up with one another, but even after all of her manipulations, he couldn’t quite discard her as a potential ally when everything was said and done. With words seething with rage, she continued to explain herself to Scott at long last, “They found their way inside to pull that part of my past out and…”

“Here we are,” Scott frowned.

“All this time I’ve been anticipating Markus would pick just the right moment to spring it on me,” Maria let out a half laugh, “Truth be told after what we did back in the club, I imagined he thought that you were…”

“What?” Scott questioned.

“When you said we were involved…” Maria cleared her throat and looked away, “I don’t know. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but with what little Markus knows…”

“You think he believes I’m the father?” Scott fought to repress the amusement that carried over him, “You think Markus believes that you and I…?”

“Probably not anymore, but with the way you conducted yourself before you let everything turn to shit that night at the club,” Maria remarked sourly. Her lips curved downward with distain when Scott frowned in contemplation.

“So, you don’t believe he’s aware that Clint is her father?”

“I don’t know what Markus is aware of,” Maria’s voice grew even quieter, “but as it stands the longer that we take to resolve this issue…”

“The easier it will be for him to access the truth,” Scott realized, “If the doctor was his only link to your past, then…”

“I just want to find her as quickly as possible,” Maria stated plainly, “and once that is taken care of, I fully intend on dealing with Markus whether the agency approves of my actions or not.”

“You mean…”

“He can’t keep that kind of power over others,” Maria pointed out with a frown, “Knowing all that he does…”

“So, in all of this, you never thought that Abaddon could have been the one that had taken her?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when his concerns mounted.

“The only people who knew about her before she went missing was the doctor, myself, my friend and her husband,” Maria paused weighing out her options, “The only other person who knew beyond what I’ve told you and Clint after she was taken was Fury and he wouldn’t say anything.”

“Are you sure?” Scott contemplated her words.

“I trust him implicitly,” she nodded firmly, “He wouldn’t have leaked that information to a soul.”

“And no one else knows?” Scott pondered aloud.

“I mean Laura obviously knows as well, but…she never would put a child of Clint’s in harm’s way no matter the circumstances,” Maria’s face returned to that same neutral mask that she carried with her at the mention of Clint’s estranged wife. She seemed to be caught up in her own internalization, but instead of giving weight to her thoughts she let out a small sigh, “No one else knows. I was very careful.”

“Then this isn’t about Clint at all,” Scott blurted out if for no other reason than his own internal processing, “Abaddon not knowing means that she wouldn’t take her as leverage considering that…”

“You found my daughter’s information in Markus’s system tonight like I anticipated you would,” Maria pointed out with a frown, “That proves that my instincts are correct. He’s undoubtedly using her to get at me—to make me compliant for whatever it is that he wants and…”

“That’s not going to happen,” Scott promised behind gritted teeth, “We are going to stop him.”  
  
“That was the plan,” she frowned, “until we got caught up in the fire and…”

“Clint found out that you were pregnant,” Scott replied.

She nodded, “Talk about terrible timing. It took everything I had been planning and put it on a tailspin all because I wasn’t smart enough to be honest with Clint. If I was just strong enough to resist temptation, then we wouldn’t be here like this and…”

“Last time I checked temptation works two ways,” Scott mouthed with a shake of his head, “I know that he’s in a dark place, but I imagine when it happened…”

“We both wanted it,” Maria looked away from him once again, “and I’d be lying if I said that we still didn’t. We still do. However, Clint loves Laura. That’s the thing about Clint. He’s always so quick to fall in love—to see things in people that most others look beyond, but with me…”

“You have history,” Scott replied.

She nodded, “There’s just this something about the two of us…”

“That keeps you coming back for more even though you know that it will only end in disaster,” Scott finished when a long, uneasy silence carried over them once again. It seemed that in Maria’s admission, Scott found himself reflecting on his own situation with Logan.

“I know I’m not any good for him,” Maria finally broke the uneasy silence, “Laura is everything I could never be, and she makes him happy. He deserves a chance at that life with her. He needs that kind of stability in his life.”

“And what about you? What do you need?” Scott questioned raising his chin up to see that her sadness had transformed into a full-blown rage.

“I need to ensure that Markus is finished. His reign of terror needs to come to an end once and for all,” Maria answered with a seething expression on her face, “What he’s doing needs to stop…”

“And we’re going to make sure that happens,” Scott paused switching gears on their conversation.

“We could have had that last night, but someone in the agency is undoubtedly sabotaging us every step of the way,” she agreed returning to business as usual, “They clearly realize what we are doing and…”

“What don’t they want us to find?” Scott questioned returning his focus to the mission at hand, “What is Markus holding in his hands that the world doesn’t want us to see? I mean I get that the secrets hold power and the Euphoria does as well, but…”

“I honestly don’t know what their motivation is,” Maria hesitated before looking through the windows on the double doors they’d entered the small chapel through to the hallway. There was a flickering fluorescent light overhead fluttering with each passing second leaving Scott to wonder if one of the bulbs were going to burn out soon. It was a distraction, but at the same time the shadows it provided revealed the depth of the uncertainty brewing behind Maria’s otherwise cool and calm features, “but it’s working my last nerve.”

“Then you still believe that someone else was behind the fires and not Markus, yes?” Scott questioned already aware of his partner’s response.

“I don’t think it fits his M.O. Given what happened last night at the warehouse, I think he was looking forward to us arriving and taking a shot at uncovering his secrets. He certainly wants us to keep playing this twisted game of his, but someone else is working hard to make it difficult for us,” she divulged with uneasiness in her tone. Her eyes shifted around to the hallway spotting the lone nurse that had walked towards the double doors beyond where they were. Instantly she reached out to touch Scott’s arm, tugging him further away from invading ears. Once the nurse had walked past them, making her way through another series of double doors, Maria spoke up with an uncertainty in her tone, “As much as I’d like to say that my colleagues have earned my trust through the years, I’d be lying if I told you that I believe that the agency is above corruption.”

“Considering that they were in bed with Markus on Euphoria so to speak…” Scott couldn’t help, but frown.

“It’s not the Euphoria,” she explained with a frown, “This isn’t the first time that I’ve dealt with dirty agents Scott. The first time around it damn near cost Clint and I our lives, but this…well, this is personal. There is someone on the inside that is attacking us every step of the way.”

“Which means at this point we have no idea who we can trust,” Scott frowned back at her, “which we already knew, but…”

“Killing innocent people to keep us out of that warehouse certainly isn’t the kind of thing that I anticipated encountering,” Maria’s blue eyes shifted around the room they were in, “I’m sure the people I work for want us to believe that Markus set that city on fire to keep us from learning his secrets, but I feel as if there’s a mole in my agency working against us.”

“It took you this long to draw that conclusion?” Scott questioned hearing the hissing sound of the automatic doors opening at the other end of the hallway near the front of the chapel where another open door revealed the dimly lit hospital corridor. Lifting his head up, he spotted an orderly pushing a patient on a gurney through the doors into the hallway beyond the chapel they were standing in.

“I’ve been thinking it for a while, but until I can prove anything,” Maria paused allowing the orderly to pass by the doorway. She released Scott’s arm and took a step back bringing her hand up over the back of her neck to rub out some of the tension that had settled in over her shoulders, “We have to be smart about this.”

“Then we need to try a new approach that doesn’t involve us going forward on this mission without full disclosure,” Scott cleared his throat, bringing his hand up over his mouth when another nurse entered the hallway, “Maybe this isn’t the time to discuss this.”

“Perhaps we should go get something to eat,” Maria suggested again as her eyes shifted around to the hallway once again. With a sigh, she moved towards the double doors opting to walk back into the waiting room and return to the world they’d left behind a few minutes earlier, “We could go grab something from the cafeteria after I check in with Fury and…”

“Maybe,” Scott grudgingly agreed. Instinctively his gaze lingered back to the waiting room thinking about the double doors the doctor had disappeared through.

“Scott,” Maria spoke his name with concern.

“If someone is trying to sabotage us, then I’m not sure that Logan should be alone right now,” Scott confessed quietly, “Given what he went through last night…”

“There are already guards on his door,” Maria promised firmly, “No one is getting in or out without my permission and…”

“Given what we just discussed I don’t exactly feel confident in knowing your men are guarding him. I’d much rather be the one that…” Scott prepared to object knowing full well that Logan’s life was still undoubtedly in danger.

“Fury’s on duty outside of Logan’s door at the moment,” Maria explained when Scott seemed unmoved by her words, “I trust him Scott.”

“I wish that could be enough for me, but I can’t risk Logan,” Scott divulged quietly. His mind wandered back to Logan wondering just what was happening with him now that it was clear they’d walked into a far more dangerous situation than either had anticipated., “Not again.”

“How about I grab something for us to eat after I see Fury?” Maria suggested picking up on the things Scott wasn’t saying, “I’m sure I can bring something back up here and make those arrangements for you to get cleaned up and checked out.”

“Sure,” Scott nodded forcing himself to look at her again, “That will be fine.”

“Great,” she rubbed her hands together again revealing a moment of concern that dissipated almost as swiftly as it had revealed itself, “See you in a bit Summers.”

“Right,” Scott nodded watching her reaching her pocket for her phone. She dialed a number before holding it up to her ear and making her way through the double doors at the far end of the hallway finally leaving Scott alone to deal with his thoughts.

“Damn it, Logan,” Scott cursed looking to the burgundy colored padded benches that he’d been seated on most of the time since Logan’s arrival in the emergency wing. They’d been less than comfortable, but that had been the price to pay for waiting to discover his teammate’s fate after he’d once again found his way into taking matters into his own hands. At the time everything had happened so fast, but there was no denying the risk that Logan had unnecessarily put himself in after all Scott had learned about Euphoria’s effects upon his healing factor.

 _“Why couldn’t you just follow an order for a change?”_ Scott thought to himself as he sat down upon the bench. Refusing to allow his thoughts to get the best of him, he neatly folded his hands in his lap preparing to simply wait until the moment when Logan was cleared for a visitor. All alone he found himself thinking back to his conversation with Logan back at the motel room—back when Logan was pressing for further answers to the questions that were lingering on his mind. Instead of offering up answers, Scott had deflected instead taking himself to a place where he’d been closed off from the world around him caught up in his own contemplations now that so many secrets had been revealed to him in his discoveries. Closing his eyes, he found himself thinking back to the last few days they’d spent with one another.

_“You told me yourself that I’m the worst thing that’s ever happened to you,” Scott confessed with a pained expression on his face, “You said if you never saw me again in this lifetime that it would be too soon after the thing that I’ve…”_

_“Scott,” Logan managed watching the turmoil that overtook Scott in his confession. Taking a bold step forward, he pinned Scott up against the countertop again all the while focusing on Scott’s plump pouting lips, “look. I don’t know what I said before, but I certainly didn’t mean it. If I had any idea how foolish that sounded…”_

_“You meant every word of it,” Scott raised his chin up to watch Logan closely, “When you said it, I deserved every second of it as well for what I…”_

_“Shh…” Logan reached out to press his index finger over the center of Scott’s lips, “I don’t want to hear it. Whatever you think you did wrong, you didn’t.”_

_“Logan I…” Scott’s words were muffled with Logan’s finger over his lips._

_“I don’t give a damn about hating you, nor do I care about whatever happened between us in Boston,” Logan promised taking in the chiseled lines of Scott’s cheekbones before him, “None of that matters anymore.”_

_“You say that now, but…” Scott’s words vibrated against Logan’s touch._

_“Right now, all that matters is getting through tonight unscathed,” Logan assured him with a tender brush of his fingers against the side of Scott’s face, “Everything else is irrelevant to the here and now.”_

_“I wish it were that easy, but we both know that…” Scott attempted to argue again only to have Logan push his finger against Scott’s lips again._

_“Nothing else matters Slim,” Logan leaned forward pressing a small kiss over Scott’s forehead, “Just this. Just now.”_

Raising his chin, Scott found himself overtaken by emotion on the verge of tears knowing only too well he’d risked Logan again. He hadn’t taken Logan’s personality into consideration when he’d made a stand against Hagan. He knew better than to think Logan would just sit idle and let Scott go down without someone to back him up in a fight. If only he’d been smarter about it—if only he’d planned better, then Logan wouldn’t be in the hospital fighting for his life and struggling to heal.

 _“_ _Just kiss me already,_ _”_ Logan’s voice resonated in the back of Scott’s mind causing him to question his own observation of what had taken place the night before between them. There was something in the weight of the kiss, in the importance of the moment between them that caused Scott to reflect on those stolen seconds caught on the threshold of letting go while fighting to hold on with everything that they had. The last few days together had been prompted by something different and in that final, desperate kiss, Scott realized that something profound had changed in Logan in their time together. Letting out a long sigh, Scott found himself reflecting on his stolen moments with Logan.

_“Then this is really happening again, isn’t it?” Scott questioned when he seemed to sink with concern. He grew uncomfortably silent, seemingly weighing out his thoughts before he spoke up again with an uncertain tone, “I’m losing you again, aren’t I?”_

_“No,” Logan squeezed his arm harder around Scott’s waist to assure Scott of his presence in Scott’s life, “you aren’t losing me.”_

_“Then what exactly are you saying?” Scott questioned drawing in a nervous breath._

_“I’m telling you that as much as I wish I could recall certain things, there are memories that simply aren’t mine to recall,” Logan sighed feeling a pang of guilt carry over him in knowing what chaos still surrounded his arrival in this new world, “I’m not the man I was before…”_

_“You’re different now, aren’t you?”_ Scott could hear himself questioning Logan days earlier at the motel revealing a truth that neither one of them had been willing to face in those stolen moments between them. In the past, Logan had been defiant—had made his own way about how he’d run things, but he’d never blatantly disregarded a stand down order as he had back at the warehouse. It was as if he’d been a man possessed by something that went beyond their history with one another. Even now in thinking about how Logan seemed surprised by the way things played out—how he’d appeared to be uneasy in Scott’s attempt at taking out Hagan and the others, there was something nagging beneath the surface in Scott’s mind. It was as if they both had been holding back in keeping the other from the truth of what was happening and yet as Scott found himself focused on the kiss they’d shared—as if it was the first time they’d truly revealed themselves to one another, he’d realized something was different. In the past, they’d fallen into temptation—both eager to test the waters of the unknown taking in the forbidden in ways that Scott had struggled with. However, in that kiss, it was as if time stood still and everything wrong between them had finally come together front and center highlighting the one right thing Scott had in his life. Now, touching his lip and remembering the taste of Logan upon him, Scott couldn’t help, but wonder if it was time to let go of the past. Logan was ready to move forward beyond their tortured history and maybe it was time that Scott worked to leave that behind him as well.

Scott’s thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he felt the buzzing of his phone in his pants pocket. Reaching down he pulled it out to discover that Hank was calling undoubtedly to give him information on his tests that Scott had requested that Hank run back at the school after they’d met up for breakfast with one another a few days earlier. Now, in an entirely different position than the one he was in the last time he’d shared breakfast with his old friend, Scott found himself answering the call with a heavy heart.

“What do you have for me?” Scott questioned not bothering with pleasantries in his conversation with his friend.

“Well hello to you too,” Hank’s voice was strained—clearly a sign of the tone of the night that they’d put behind them. Still in thinking about Logan’s situation, Scott fought to be pleasant with his friend despite his own internal torment over how events had played out.

“Sorry,” he abruptly apologized bringing his hand up over the back of his neck to rub at the knot of tension that had formed there after a sleepless night in the waiting room, “It’s been a long night over here.”

“I heard about what happened last night at the warehouse,” Hank answered knowingly. Without asking any tedious questions, he cut straight to the point, “How is Logan recovering?”

“He’s out of critical condition,” Scott answer with a sigh in knowing that it was only the beginning for Logan’s road to recovery, “The doctor doesn’t know how much longer he will need isolation due to the nature of his injuries but the serum that Hill injected seems to have at least temporarily turned around the effects of the Euphoria on his system. It’s my understanding that it’s been a grueling process, but…”

“How are you holding up?” Hank questioned breaking through Scott’s words.

“I’m disappointed,” Scott divulged quietly as he fought to stay on point with his friend hoping that his roller coaster of emotions wouldn’t shine through their conversation in outing him as the failure he’d felt he’d become, “and a bit frustrated that this didn’t pan out like we expected given that it will be a major setback to finishing up this assignment. I was hoping we’d be done with this by now and…”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Hank’s voice carried the same disappointment that Scott had grown used to from his friend as of late.

“I know,” Scott sighed lowering his head as his thoughts returned to Logan.

“Scott, we both know that he’s been playing with fire in those trials and then to learn about this…recklessness, it’s very disheartening to think that he’s been throwing himself into harm’s way without thought to consequence,” Hank’s voice held more concern than Scott had anticipated when he’d hoped to hear from his friend again.

“He went in there trying to save me,” Scott revealed with an uneasiness in his breath, “Regardless of how misguided his actions were, his heart was in the right place. He thought I was in over my head and…”

“He came rushing in to save the day as always,” Hank noted with something off in his voice.

“I tried to stop it from happening, but with Logan…” Scott found himself at a loss when his mind replayed the events of the previous night all over again. It caused him to shudder and frown hating himself for allowing things to spiral so far out of control.

“He can’t stop when it comes to you,” Hank noted as Scott shifted in his seat. He looked to the overhead television realizing that someone had changed the channel to some religious evangelist on the screen preaching about the perks of sending in your donation to his group in order to seek out redemption. The screen was muted, but the caption beneath it was enough to cause Scott to roll his eyes and groan outwardly.

“Scott?” Hank questioned when Scott’s sigh spilled over onto the line.

“Sorry,” Scott turned away from the television, “I’m just in the waiting room right now hoping to hear more word before…”

“Have you slept yet?” Hank asked concerned, “Did you at least eat something?”

“I’m fine,” Scott dismissed his friend’s concerns.

“Why don’t I believe that?” Hank responded as Scott could almost hear the frown that undoubtedly carried over his friend’s lips.

“I really am. I’m as good as to be expected right about now. What about you? What did you discover in the lab?” Scott questioned attempting to keep his voice as neutral as possible to refrain from revealing his thoughts.

“It’s as you suspected when we discussed Logan over breakfast,” Hank admitted with a small, uneasy sigh, “Based on the samples you provided me, it’s easy to see that the Euphoria has been making subtle changes to Logan’s DNA.”

“Meaning it’s changing his healing factor,” Scott noted with a shudder as the memory of Logan’s open chest flashed through his mind.

“At this point it is too early to tell just how deep he’s been impacted by it, but there is something different happening there,” Hank continued to explain in a cool, distanced tone, “It could be why he’s taking longer to recover from this situation and…”

“Is there any way to reverse what’s happening?” Scott questioned attempting to stay focused on the mission at hand, “Hill injected him with a serum last night that seems to have helped, but it’s still a prototype. The doctor couldn’t offer up any kind of definitive results other than for now it’s working to stabilize him for now.”

“I’ve been working up a complete chemical analysis of the Euphoria based on the sample you provided me with,” Hank explained further, “It’s a nasty piece of work, but in time I may be able to find something to undo the changes that have been happening with him. If S.H.I.E.L.D. can come up with their version of a serum to counteract the side effects, then I’m certain I can crack the code.”

“I knew if anyone could, it would be you. How long do you think that is going to take?” Scott questioned raising his chin up to discover a nurse walking through the double doors that Maria had exited from.

“It would be easier to do this if you and Logan were here so that I could monitor him through the process,” Hank admitted with a small sigh, “Granted the DNA samples you provided me with were more than enough to accomplish the job to get an initial reading, but it would be much easier if I could have him here to take some bloodwork and…”

“When he’s cleared on his recovery, we can make it happen,” Scott decided with a frown watching as the nurse before him carried a few blankets in her arms. They were piled up over the center of her chest, revealing an oversized stack in her arms, but she continued to move down the hallway seemingly unbothered by the weight of the blankets in her arms as if she hadn’t had a care in the world. In that moment, Scott almost envied her carefree stride as he himself carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Excellent,” Hank replied with a moment’s hesitation, “but at the same time…”

“What?” Scott questioned struggling to keep his focus on the conversation.

“I’ve been thinking about the nature of the samples,” Hank’s voice was hesitant as Scott found himself preparing for the inevitable lecture his friend was going to deliver him that mirrored the one he’d been given at the restaurant when he’d given Hank the carefully preserved condoms from the motel for testing, “With the samples you did give me, I’m a bit concerned considering the methods of extraction…”

“Hank, I don’t want to hear it. I already told you that it doesn’t matter how I got them. What matters is that I did and…,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown at the inevitable lecture he was bound to receive for the second time from his friend.

“Is Logan aware that you gave them to me considering that…?” Hank’s voice still carried the same sense of disappointment that Scott had thought he’d gotten used to over the years with his friend.

“It doesn’t matter how I got them. The point is that I was able to provide them to you so that you could begin testing Logan’s DNA against the sample and…” Scott cut him off abruptly. He tensed up feeling a pounding, throbbing ache building inside of his temple when it was clear that Hank hadn’t been ready to let the conversation go.

“I understand why they are good for me to have especially right now, but at the same time Scott, knowing what lengths you went to get them…” Hank’s voice continued to reprimand him, “If you did what you did solely with the intent on providing me with a sample of Logan’s DNA…”

“It wasn’t. That’s not why it happened,” Scott confessed guiltily. He lowered his head thinking about how he’d lied to Logan about having stolen the things from the trash. Instead of being honest with Logan about what he’d done, he’d simply taken the remains of their night together and had provided Hank with enough to begin testing the effects of Euphoria on Logan’s system without hesitation. Granted at the time it had felt like the right path to take, but when Scott had the opportunity to share that information with Logan, he’d simply ignored Logan’s questioning. Instead of being honest, he’d given in to lying, covering up his actions in the name of helping Logan. Of course, now that Logan was in the hospital fighting for his life, he couldn’t help, but wonder if his actions had somehow backfired, “Now isn’t the time to…”

“I understand that Scott, but with what happened last night,” Hank’s worried voice echoed through the phone, “I really think that now is the time for you to put things into perspective and…”

“Right now concentrating on Logan’s recovery is perspective enough,” Scott cut him off abruptly refusing to give anything more on the subject at hand, “Once he gets an all clear we can return to the school and work on a new approach to this situation. If Markus doesn’t pose an immediate threat to the others, then we can return to deal with all of this.”

“Scott…”

“Hank look,” Scott stopped himself when it was clear that nothing that he said would appease his friend’s concerns, “You know that I appreciate your advice, but this is one subject I don’t feel comfortable discussing with you at this time.”

“At least be smart about this. We both know how much of an impact Logan’s presence has made upon you over the years. Knowing that you chose now to explore those feelings when your life is in turmoil as it’s been, well, to say it has me concerned is putting it lightly. You and Jean are still married Scott and as much as the both of you seem to want to ignore what that means in the grand scheme of things…,” Hank began worriedly.

“I know what I’m doing,” Scott replied closing his eyes and feeling an ache building in his temple.

“Do you?” Hank challenged.

“Look I…” Scott stopped himself wondering if he could put into words the thoughts that had tormented him for longer than he’d cared to admit to. Granted, there has always been a hint of it, but now as he spoke candidly with his best friend, he found himself on the receiving end of a lecture.

“You said that when you went to Boston and we both know that didn’t end well,” Hank reminded him simply.

“I already told you in Boston that…” Scott opened his protest willing himself to keep up the façade when Hank groaned outwardly.

“Scott, how long do we have to keep pretending that things didn’t transpire out there?” Hank questioned disapprovingly, “We both know that I’m well aware of things that most aren’t able to pick up on and…”

“Not now Hank,” Scott frowned.

“If not now, then when?” Hank offered up with a small sigh leaving Scott to wonder if anything about his decisions for the last couple of weeks reflected his intelligence level. From the moment Scott had followed Logan to that club, things were on a downward spiral going far from where they should be as his team up with Maria had opened up the door to more danger than he’d anticipated when he’d been caught up in thoughts of Logan.

“Right now, Logan’s fighting for his life and everything else is secondary to that,” Scott answered ignoring his friend’s words, “His healing is my primary concern.”

“Fine,” Hank huffed impatiently, making it clear through his words that he wasn’t at all happy about Scott’s decision to ignore his questions.

“What about that other question I had for you?” Scott refused to allow himself to linger on his guilt. Doing so would only serve to further cloud his judgment and that would undoubtedly spell disaster. Now was about solving the problem at hand with minimal damage in the situation.

“Yeah,” Hank cleared his throat again, “about that…”

“Hank?” Scott sat up straighter in his seat. He clenched his fingers into his phone thinking about the final request he’d made of his friend, “What did you discover?”

“It’s just…” Hank paused causing Scott’s stomach to twist in knots. For a moment he found himself dreading the response before Hank finally spoke up again, “Logan’s the same Logan he’s always been. At least on a genetic level nothing has changed—aside from the weight of the Euphoria’s effects that is.”

“So, you’re saying that…” Scott found himself at a loss when he thought about his own conclusions about Logan’s strange behavior. Although he hadn’t thought to openly question him, there was something that night they shared together at the hotel that had prompted Scott to reach out to his friend. Then with Logan discussing changes with him and Logan’s renewed loyalty guiding his actions, Scott had found himself wondering what else Logan hadn’t been saying to him.

“Something’s changed with him,” Hank agreed wholeheartedly, “but whatever it is, it’s something that’s happening inside of his mind. When I couldn’t find anything to support any major differences in his genetics, I had no choice, but to reach out to Charles and…”

“You spoke to Charles?” Scott swallowed down nervously, “You told him about all of this?”

“After last night, I didn’t really feel that we had a choice in the matter. Plus, Hill had already called him to fill him on the gaps that took place after we talked last,” Hank answered guiltily, “After he learned that Logan was injured we realized that it is starting to go too far and…”

“And?” Scott questioned feeling his body tighten up at the mention of his mentor’s involvement in his situation with Logan.

“He explained that Logan’s mind has been in turmoil since that morning he spoke with you outside of Charles’ office,” Hank offered up sympathetically, “From what Charles explained, Logan has been experiencing memories and hallucinations that…”

“What?”

“It could be the Euphoria, but at the same time…” Hank hesitated again.

“What is it?”

“He’s still the same man Scott. Charles assured me of that much, but at the same time his mind is a bit jumbled where his memory is concerned,” Hank recounted his conversation with Charles, “According to Charles, Logan has recently undergone a great ordeal that has left him in a position where everything feels new and different, but over time it should all come back to him again and…”

“So, everything that’s been happening now,” Scott paused finding his thoughts returning to Logan once again, “is it because of what happened on our last mission? About Boston when…?”

“I don’t know anything about Boston beyond what you’ve said and what I picked up that you haven’t, but if Logan underwent any kind of trauma on that mission, then it would logically make sense that his mind would want to revert to a safe space where…” Hank’s words were lost as Scott found himself returning to the place he’d hoped he would never go to again. Closing his eyes, he thought back to his last night in Boston—to the things that he’d said and done in order to placate the world around him and prove himself to be an effective leader. He’d crossed one too many lines and…

“Scott,” Hank’s voice prompted him to return to the moment, far from the things he’d said and done to Logan. Now as he looked around the empty hallway blinking his eyes a few times, he found himself fighting to stay in the present, to remember what was important as he awaited further word on Logan.

“Sorry…” Scott apologized softening his tone, “It’s been a long morning already and…”

“I’m aware,” Hank paused before speaking up again with more concern evident in his tone, “Charles wanted me to send a message to you.”

“What message?” Scott questioned gritting his teeth. He curled his fingers tighter around the phone thinking about his mentor back home undoubtedly disappointed in Scott’s behavior as of late.

“He told me to tell you that it is vital to the team that you work things out with Logan,” Hank’s voice held a deeper concern, “He said that despite what you might be thinking right now, it’s important that you remind Logan of his place on the team. He said in Logan’s condition that you needed to stress to Logan the necessity of him following orders—said that if he continues to deviate from that path, then only problems will follow and…”

“He told you all of that, huh?” Scott couldn’t help, but frown.

“It’s ill timing on his part, but he insisted I speak up on his behalf,” Hank replied with a divided tone, “I informed him that you were at the hospital, but he said that it was imperative that I gave you his message. He said that you would understand it’s meaning.”

“Oh, I understand,” Scott sighed thinking about the complexity of his relationship with his mentor, “Even though Logan has spent last night struggling to survive, it’s more important that I follow orders now that Charles wants me to remind Logan of his place on the team.”

“Scott?” Hank half questioned when Scott’s thoughts returned to the last time Charles had made such a request out of him to maintain Logan’s compliance.

“Tell him I’ll do my best,” Scott answered in a cold, distant tone knowing only too well that everything inside of him was wanting to argue—wanting to tell Charles no more, but now as he sat alone in the hospital hallway thinking about what his mentor was saying to him, he knew that once again he was without a choice.

“Do whatever it takes,” he could almost hear Charles in his head coaxing him to push things beyond the limit in keeping Logan at bay. In the past it had almost damn near destroyed them entirely, but now that Logan had almost destroyed himself in his recklessness, Scott knew what his mentor had expected of him.

“Scott, look if you need me to come down there and…”

“I’ve got this covered,” Scott tilted his chin to watch the flickering light overhead thinking about the tentative nature of his new assignment. With a shudder and a sigh, he found himself in a place that he swore after Boston he would never be in again. Regardless of his feelings for Logan, this was no longer about what he wanted or needed. This was about putting the team first come hell or highwater at Charles Xavier’s request, “It won’t be a problem. Tell Charles I will sort it all out.”

“Scott…” Hank spoke up once again.

“Did Jean ever return home from her mission?” Scott found himself questioning if for no other reason than to twist the knife deeper, “Have you heard anything from her?”

“She checked in with Charles earlier in the day,” Hank divulged quietly, “It sounds like they’ve run into a little bit of trouble north of the border as well, but it isn’t anything that they can’t handle.”

“Right,” Scott swallowed down hard thinking about what was still ahead of him, “that’s good. She’s fully capable of holding her own.”

“Scott,” Hank spoke his name with concern all over again, “maybe you should call her. Perhaps if the two of you spoke further about what’s been happening…”

“We’ve already talked about all of this Hank,” Scott answered solemnly. Somberly lowering his head, he looked to the wedding ring on his finger thinking about the farce it represented in his life now that his marriage had completely fallen apart, “I’m sure Charles will let her know what I’m doing out here.”

“Even so if you both take the time to try to speak candidly with one another, then I’m sure that…” Hank began again with a hopefulness that Scott had long since lost in his time away from his youth.

“It’s a lost cause,” Scott let out an ironic laugh thinking about the last real conversation he’d held with his estranged wife, “Even I know that.”

“Scott…” Hank attempted to reach out to him once again, but it was no use. Armed with the information that Charles was expecting him to move mountains all over again, Scott found himself in a dark place that he’d sworn not to return to after he’d ripped his world apart in Boston.

“Everything will be fine,” Scott answered cryptically knowing full well that as far as he was concerned nothing would ever truly be fine again.


	20. Reminiscence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott finds himself alone and haunted by the memories of the past he can no longer escape. In his torment, a new enemy emerges in a private moment putting everything Scott holds dear to him in jeopardy.

**Reminiscence:** a story told about a past event remembered by the narrator.

The hard, pulsating spray of the on-call room shower plummeted down over Scott hard taking him from stiffness and aches to a moment of freedom away from the rest of the hospital, far from the reality that was waiting for him. In knowing Logan was still clinging to his life, asleep and working to heal the damage that had been done in their night at the warehouse Scott had found himself filled with a small sense of hope praying for things that he seldom asked for of the world around him. If only Logan could continue to heal, then perhaps he could find it in him to change. Perhaps Scott could be strong enough to do the right thing in letting him go—in giving Logan the freedom he deserved to find happiness in a life that didn’t include Scott taking him down time and time again.

“You’re so beautiful to me,” Logan’s words etched into Scott’s mind as Scott found himself back in that awful hotel room in Boston thinking about just how far he’d fallen. He could remember the way that Logan’s breath had met his in a kiss, the way that their bodies had moved together the first time that they’d made love giving in to wild, reckless temptation. It hadn’t been like all the fantasies that Scott had carried with him, but there was no less hunger or yearning to the desire that Scott had awakened in his lover. Their lust had been palpable at the time caught up in a sweet surrender that they’d both longed for, yet Scott had refrained from offering to Logan until that fateful night when his compliance had been requested of him from his mentor.

_“We both know how much of an impact Logan’s presence has made upon you over the years. Knowing that you chose now to explore those feelings when your life is in turmoil as it’s been, well, to say it has me concerned is putting it lightly. You and Jean are still married Scott and as much as the both of you seem to want to ignore what that means in the grand scheme of things…”_

Keeping his eyes pinched closed tightly, Scott leaned forward lowering his head down and feeling the hot, scalding liquid pour down his spine, imprinting its painful sting over his betraying flesh. Turning his head down towards his outstretched hands, he could still feel Logan’s blood caked beneath his nails serving as a reminder of his failures when Hank’s words resonated in his thoughts. They were etched in his mind taking Scott from a place of tension to one filled with doubt and self-loathing beneath the shower’s pounding spray. With each slapping pop of the hot liquid over Scott’s skin, he felt himself burning—falling deeper into a moment of guilt and despair when he found himself thinking about Logan.

For an instant Scott could almost see himself back in the hotel a few nights earlier when he and Logan succumbed to temptation again for the second time in his life after their confrontation with Maria. It was something that Scott had convinced himself would never happen again—would never enter the equation after he had destroyed Logan so mercilessly in Boston, but that night after the exchange in the bar something had happened. Something had changed in ways that Scott hadn’t been expecting. He couldn’t quite put it into words, but when Logan was inside of him giving in to Scott’s request, something shifted—something hidden down deep had burst from within and Scott found himself facing the reality that something had been different. Logan had changed as evidenced by the way that they’d given in to temptation.

Everything about the night had been so different than the first time they’d slept together. At the time Scott had simply written it off as an after effect of the way that his cruel, callous behavior had given Logan reason to never touch him again. Hell, Scott had expected no less than that by the time he’d started teasing Logan in the bar. He’d expected Logan to punch him in the face and tell him to go fuck himself. Instead they’d wound up a tangled mess of bodies and limbs in the sheets with one another, pressed against each other on the center of the dirty motel room bed with Logan over Scott holding him, gripping him tightly with strong, steady arms wrapped around Scott’s slender form squeezing him as if letting go simply wasn’t an option. It was in those moments after Logan had come undone inside of him, still holding on and softening in Scott’s body that Scott had felt the shift between them. Instead of pulling out, Logan simply held on, tapering off tiny, teasing kisses over Scott’s neck, taking his time to slowly massage Scott’s abdomen, to gently rock over him, inside of his passion spent body over and over again until suddenly Logan was hard all over again, growing within the walls of Scott’s still trembling form doing something that Scott hadn’t expected in their time together.

“It’s okay to let go Slim,” Logan had whispered over the back of his neck, reaching down deep inside of him to that place where Scott hadn’t realized he’d needed to hear the words. They changed something inside of him—somewhere that was locked away and needed to be freed. They’d pulled out that part that Scott had convinced himself hadn’t existed anymore. As Logan’s hands eased over Scott’s body, taking the time to dote on each and every one of Scott’s hot spots, challenging and enticing him with every skilled caress and urgent, rough touch, Scott realized that Logan knew him—really knew him in ways that not even Jean had been able to touch with her telepathy.

It was in those moments when Logan should’ve been done and pushed Scott away that Scott found himself mesmerized by the way Logan pulled each involuntary response from him. He began coaxing Scott up onto his knees, face pushed hard against the dirty, peeling wall just over the headboard, practically sobbing when Logan’s touch etched their knowledge upon his skin. They’d simply fucked before when Scott had offered himself to Logan on the worn-down bed, but this time…this was different. This wasn’t what Scott had wanted or what he asked for. It wasn’t what he’d deserved, but each time he’d tried to pull away, Logan was pressed up behind him pushing Scott’s arms up high above his head, forcing Scott to face that part of him that had denied himself true pleasure in their union. It was there threatening to reveal itself from beneath the surface. With each slide of Logan’s fingers over Scott’s body, up and down over his sides, tracing his ribs and learning all his secrets, Scott found that he’d given in to temptation. He’d arched his head back, ground his bottom up against Logan, longing desperately to feel the hard pump of Logan inside of him over and over again until Scott had started quietly sobbing overtaken by lust and regret, desire and longing, knowing that he’d crossed far too many lines, but for the night Logan had simply indulged it, giving in to impulse in touching him, teasing him, giving him so many things to think about long after their night had ended. It was as if he’d been reunited with a long lost love that had known him inside and out, who knew not to ask about his tears, but rather continued to give Scott what he’d longed for—what he’d needed until for the second time that fateful night after Scott had propositioned Logan in the bar, he’d come undone. Only this time he hadn’t expected to feel so much—to need it as much as he had as Logan kept and held him whispering words of affection in Scott’s ear. Scott knew he hadn’t deserved it, but god he’d needed them that night. He’d needed Logan’s arms, his touch, his hands, his body over him, against him, inside of him and as much as he’d denied it, more than anything he’d longed for Logan’s kiss, which was why he couldn’t have it. It’s why he’d refused it long after their passion had died down leaving them stretched out and cuddling one another on that motel room bed lost in a moment that was never meant to be. It was tragic, beautiful and a sign of all the mistakes Scott had made as Logan had drifted off to sleep long before Scott had. Instead Scott had stayed in Logan’s arms holding onto him, wishing like hell that things were different until that fateful moment when Scott had slipped, pushing up on his elbows to hover over Logan. If for no other reason than to see that he wasn’t dreaming—to see that it was real. He touched the side of Logan’s face, watching as Logan leaned into his touch, giving into the caress in his slumber. Logan was still lost in his dreams so far from the world around him and for an instant Scott had found himself giving in to his guilty secret—to the sweet surrender that he denied Logan in their waking hours.

Repositioning himself over Logan, Scott ran his fingers through Logan’s wild, messy dark hair wishing like hell that he could give something more, but he knew that was never going to happen. As much as he’d wanted it, Scott lost his opportunity to stake his claim on Logan’s heart. Instead he could merely quietly savor these dark stolen moments with Logan lost in beautiful dreams of a life beyond their reach. It seemed that he was caught up in deep thought, overwhelmed by the visions in his head as Scott’s thumb brushed over Logan’s bottom lip. The sensation caused Logan to shift and twist beneath him, lips parting just long enough for Scott to do the unthinkable. For an instant he hesitated, waiting and watching as Logan continued to sleep, caught up in the contented aftermath of their sexual encounter, dreaming of something more than Scott could ever truly give. However, for a moment, Scott had pretended that it could be something more—that he could offer Logan everything he’d ever wanted. It was the one weakness Scott had carried with him that night—greedily keeping it to himself as his thumb eased over Logan’s bottom lip once again. It proved to offer up no reaction as exhaustion had settled in over Logan giving Scott plenty of time to weigh out his options. He knew it was wrong—knew that it was unfair and cruel, but his selfish side had asked nothing less out of him when he leaned forward replacing the pad of his thumb with his soft, eager lips knowing that he’d asked Logan to refrain from such an action. His taking advantage of the moment was hypocrisy at it’s finest, but with Logan asleep and unaware of what Scott had truly longed for in their exchange, Scott gently kissed Logan stealing a hint of warmth from Logan’s breath onto his. It was soft and tender, slow and chaste as the one-sided kiss would be enough for Scott. It was cruel to deny it in Logan’s waking hours, but with him asleep Scott was safe to take it—to hoard it uninvited if only for an instant.

Guiltily Scott sighed, pulling his lips away from Logan’s unresponsive mouth knowing that the kiss had been wrong, but he hadn’t been prepared for Logan’s strong, muscular arm gripping tighter around his waist, coaxing Scott over him once again.

“Where ya going Slim?” Logan had questioned, still very much asleep as he guided Scott’s mouth to his once again. It was then that Scott knew he’d pushed things too far—he’d crossed too many lines, but it hadn’t stopped him from doing it once more when his mouth hovered over Logan’s. He was trembling, terrified of the idea of Logan waking up, but for a moment he hadn’t cared. Selfishly he’d dipped down, offering up a bit more urgency to the kiss. Logan’s mouth responded in kind, his tongue sliding out to search and meet Scott’s in a hot, reckless tease. His hands were already sliding down over Scott’s body, guiding Scott over him as Scott realized he’d pushed things too far. He could feel the squeeze of Logan’s thick fingers over his ass prompting him to react, to undoubtedly return to sex again, but just as Scott feared that he’d been caught in his guilty indulgence Logan’s head dropped down to the pillow again. His lips parted wider and he let out a loud, offensive snore leading Scott to realize he’d been safe. His duplicity hadn’t been caught and as he carefully twisted over Logan, he’d prepared to leave Logan’s arms. With a quick squeeze of Logan’s arm around him again, he realized that wasn’t likely to happen as Scott’s head returned to Logan’s chest, his leg sliding in between Logan’s thighs to savor his warmth in the unusually cold motel room.

 _“In the morning I can leave,”_ Scott heard a voice in his mind rationalizing his actions, knowing only too well the dangers of truly spending the night with Logan. It was almost too much as Scott felt Logan’s hold on him constrict indicating that Logan was nowhere near close to letting him go. The movement had been frightening, almost enough to cause Scott to panic, but soon something seemed to melt inside of him leaving him with no other choice, but to savor the warmth of the wild man wrapped around him. His strong hold was protective and comforting in ways that Scott hadn’t been able to admit he’d needed. He closed his eyes behind his glasses, and he found himself drifting off to a fantasy world—to a place where he could be at peace in his lover’s touch. With a sad smile and his long, slender fingers running through Logan’s dark chest hair, Scott found the ultimate betrayal to all that he was falling from his lips.

“I do love you Logan,” Scott had whispered through the darkness giving in to the one thing he hadn’t been brave enough to admit in the waking hours. It was almost painful to reveal—too hard to come to terms with after all the damage he’d done to their relationship. He’d hurt Logan and he could never truly recover for that, but as his fingers continued to massage the warmth of Logan’s chest, Scott found that the sound of Logan’s loud, reckless snoring had given him an out. It had allowed him to bottle his emotions once again, keeping them to himself until the following morning when he’d gotten up early and staged the scene in such a fashion to cause Logan to question the night before.

 _“Because you’re a monster,”_ he could hear a voice inside his head pulling him from the memory of Logan’s embrace to the way that Scott had worked to get Logan dressed. It had been a challenge, but Logan’s restlessness and the effects of the Euphoria had left him exhausted, too tired to awaken when Scott was cleaning up the room and stealing the remains of their time together to carefully pack it up for Hank’s testing. It was almost too easy to pretend it hadn’t happened as Scott had met his friend for breakfast offering up what he had hoped would be means of saving Logan in the long run.

“Scott, why would you think that this would be easy for you? Why did you think that sleeping with Logan was a good idea? Do you know what kind of complication this brings to your life?” Hank had argued with him over breakfast, revealing the kind of disappointment that Scott had been hoping to inevitably avoid. It was the one thing he hadn’t wanted to share with the world, but it was too important to let the opportunity pass him by in having Hank help Logan. He needed to know—needed to see what was happening so that he knew the right way to fix it. Yes, it hadn’t been perhaps his smartest idea, but it was an afterthought after Logan had a nightmare that had awakened them both later in the evening. Logan had eventually returned to sleep, but Scott was awake weighed down by the fear that Markus and his experiment could truly steal Logan from the world. It was that fear that had prompted everything that followed from the cover up to the condoms in Hank’s possession. Perhaps it was wrong, but selfishly Scott refused to let Logan go. He had to find a way to redeem himself and save Logan from the nightmare Scott had pushed him into.

“Just get me answers,” Scott had ordered of his friend before returning to face the aftermath of all he’d done. It was a challenge to push through it, but now as Scott stood in the shower thinking about how all his efforts had inevitably led Logan to disaster once again, he found himself at a loss. Time and time again he’d tried, but once again it hadn’t been enough. This time he could’ve lost everything, and he only had himself to blame.

 _“You need to let this go Scott,”_ Jean’s voice echoed in the back of his mind taking him back to another time and place when he’d found himself hanging by a thread, hoping like hell that he’d find a way to fix the wrongs of the world around him.

“I can’t leave him out there without any backup, Jean,” Scott had explained in his desperation, knowing that he couldn’t walk away from the battle without a fight. There had been so much at stake and after Logan had disappeared in those Canadian back woods out on his own without any sign of control in the situation that he and Clint had found themselves into, Scott knew there would be only one way to finish what his teammate had started. He had to step up and take action or else risk losing everything, “He wouldn’t leave me behind if the tables were turned.”

“Logan is more than capable of handling himself in these situations Scott. He knows the risks involved with the mission. He chose to take it on fully aware of what could be if it took a dark turn,” Jean chastised with a deep, disapproving sigh when her frustrations mounted, “If you walk into that situation, there’s no guarantee that you’ll walk out of it.”

“Neither will Logan if I don’t try,” Scott had appealed to her hoping like hell his wife would understand his motivation, but when he’d reached out to her from his shitty, run down motel room in Canada, he’d known full well that she hadn’t. Still, it didn’t change his mind about what he was prepared to do to save the man who’d meant a great deal to him.

“You will die if you go in there without any kind of backup Scott,” Jean’s worried voice cracked in his head, “If you enter into Abaddon’s world without someone to assist you, then you’ll be in the same place Logan is.”

“Jean, you know that I can’t just sit idle and…” Scott argued further.

“From everything I’ve been seeing lately on her file, Abaddon is too strong Scott,” Jean cautioned him, “The things that she’s capable of…”

“I’m stronger,” Scott reminded her simply, “We both know that she can’t reach the level of control that I have. The things that she does…”

“Are still beyond your reach,” Jean argued further as she was unconvinced by her husband’s words, “I know that you think that you might be invincible now, but we both know that the power you wield isn’t natural for you Scott. It’s dangerous. It doesn’t belong to you in the way that you hold onto it and…”

“If it is there, then why not use it now for this? If not for a good reason, then when will it ever be right? Why not bring it out when someone we care about is suffering?” Scott explained looking around the room to discover Logan’s red flannel shirt sloppily tossed over one of the chairs by the small table where they’d shared a greasy dinner with one another four days earlier. Empty beer bottles were still scattered over the tabletop, but in Logan’s absence they haunted him. They made him uneasy in knowing he might never see his companion again now that he’d stopped communicating with Scott. That thought made him uneasy in explaining himself to Jean. He knew that he should be more direct, that he should simply state the facts of the mission, but he found himself at a loss in the situation that had been thrust upon him, “Jean, you know I can control it…”

“You can control a lot of things, but not this. Trust me if anyone knows what kind of hunger takes hold of you with that kind of power, it’s me. It’s dangerous to think that you can have any semblance of control when it takes its hold upon you,” Jean insisted in the hopes of discouraging him from putting himself on the line, “Taking on Abaddon without any kind of backup…”

“I can do this,” Scott attempted to appeal to her once again, “I’m disciplined and controlled and…”

“She will break you before you will be able to gain the strength needed to do what you must do to defeat her. What you are thinking about doing is calling out something unpredictable. You know that it could destroy you if you relinquish any kind of control in the situation.”

“I have to try,” Scott half pleaded with her, “I need to do something…”

“It’s dangerous Scott. With what you’re asking me to do in sitting back and condoning this after all the destruction we’ve seen from it first hand, you can’t expect me to be okay with this,” Jean’s words haunted him, drawing him to the harsh realization that perhaps he was making a mistake, but it was one he needed to do in order to bring Logan back home, “I know how hard you have tried to suppress it and with good reason. It wasn’t meant to be caged inside of you or any of us for that matter. It longs for freedom Scott and if you think that you can somehow keep your grip on the leash you intend to offer it, then you’re gravely mistaken.”

“Logan’s going to die if I don’t find a way in there,” Scott argued further, “He’s strong, but he can’t hold on forever Jean. We both know that he’s not invulnerable.”

“This mission was wrong from the start,” Jean reminded him pointedly, “How Logan could think that he or anyone else could’ve had any semblance of control on the outcome is beyond me. For anyone to think that they didn’t need an army against her…”

“I don’t agree with how things played out Jean. We both know that if I had been the one in charge of this from the beginning, I would’ve come up with a different plan of attack, but it wasn’t my call,” Scott sighed in frustration, “I wasn’t the one that sanctioned this mission and…”

“No, you were just the one who answered the phone that night in our bed when Logan called telling you that he was in over his head,” Jean reminded him with the same disapproving tone he’d gotten used to over the last few months during their time together, “You were the one who bypassed Charles and went rushing out into the night to be his savior on a mission you knew was damned from the start.”

“He needed my help,” Scott sighed reaching up to bring his hand over the back of his shoulders. He attempted to rub out the tension that he was feeling build between the dip in them, but it was no use. Rising from where he’d been seated on the unmade bed, he walked over to the table involuntarily reaching out to touch Logan’s flannel shirt. He could still take in the scent of Logan on it as his fingers pressed over the fabric. With a small smile, he traced his finger over the pocket on the front of the shirt where Logan had spilled some wing sauce on it during their last meal together. He’d been sloppy as usual, but instead of cleaning up the stain when Scott had pointed it out, he’d left it to crust over hardening over the fabric. Now the orange colored stain served as a reminder of how he and Logan hadn’t taken the time to truly talk about things before Logan had gone off on his mission bound and determined to finish what he’s started. At the time Logan had promised Scott that they could talk when everything was said and done, but that promise had long since expired in Logan’s absence.

“Scott?” Jean’s voice pulled him from the memory taking him back to the task he’d set out to accomplish in making a telepathic connection with his wife.

“This needs to be done. I know the risk and I’m ready to face it. Right now, what is important is about getting Logan and Clint out of that situation. If I don’t make a move, then someone is bound to lose everything,” Scott offered up as the weight of his fears mounted. He hadn’t heard from Logan in days and something was off—something that had ran deeper than the undercover mission his companion had entered without the consult of the X-Men team.

“It’s going to be us if you choose to make a move without help of your own,” Jean’s voice was hesitant, “Scott, Abaddon is not someone to be underestimated. If you can only wait for backup, then…”

“Logan won’t survive that Jean. We both know he’s been in the dark for too long already. No one has heard anything from anyone involved and the window of uncertainty has evolved into something far worse,” Scott pleaded with her knowing full well that she made sense, but his urgency outweighed the risk involved in waiting. Action was needed. Scott knew that he was the only one close enough to do what was needed to take down the woman who’d wanted to destroy the world around her, “I’m the last hope that Logan has. If I stand back and wait, then there’s no telling what will happen to him or Agent Barton when…”

“Then take me with you,” Jean begged of him.

“You’ll never make it in time,” Scott argued with her as he released Logan’s flannel shirt in favor of looking to the window revealing the damp world outside of the secluded motel he and Logan had been staying in just off of the highway. It was raining outside only adding to his somber mood as he imagined Logan out in the woods enduring the cool, autumn evening in Canada.

“Fine, then let me accompany you inside your mind and…” Jean continued to appeal to him with a renewed sense of urgency.

“No. You aren’t strong enough yet,” Scott insisted with a frown when the weight of his wife’s request hung over him leaving him to wonder just what he could find in going into Abaddon’s compound on his own, “After everything that’s happened, you’re still weak and this mission would only provoke things inside of you that…”

“I can control this Scott. I know that it is still inside of me, but I’m learning to reign in a sense of control,” Jean continued to appeal to him, “If we go in there together…”

“Then I risk losing you as well and I won’t let that happen,” Scott replied firmly knowing that his words bothered her, but he’d already decided, “You’ve been through so much Jean that I won’t give her an opportunity to take you from me as well. This isn’t your fight.”

“But you’ll give her the opportunity to steal my husband from me—to rip him away from my life all because you feel a misguided sense of loyalty to Logan after everything we’ve been through together,” Jean’s wounded words hurt, but he knew full well that he couldn’t walk away, “Scott, don’t do this. Don’t walk into that trap unprotected.”

“Jean, it’s the only way. I can’t wait for backup. I have to…”

“No, you don’t,” Jean snapped in recoil, “You could easily stall…find another way until we could get out there and…”

“I can control it Jean. I’ve been practicing for this moment—knowing that at any time it may be required of me,” Scott answered stiffly, “We both knew there was a possibility that…”

“I’d be the one slipping and you’d be forced to take action, but with Logan…” she paused finding herself at a loss, “Scott, you don’t know what could happen if you give up control. If you accept the darkness…”

“…then it is my cross to bear,” Scott finished poignantly, “It’s what I will be forced to live with from here on out. We both know how important Logan is to the team not to mention that he’s our friend Jean. He’s someone that we both care about and…”

“Scott, I just wish…”

“I’m sorry Jean,” he hung his head somberly, “I’m doing this for the right reasons. You have to trust me on this.”

“You’ve already decided this, haven’t you?” her words cut like a knife, reaching him deep to the core when he could feel the weight of her disapproval carry over their conversation, “If you already knew what you were planning to do before we talked, then why even bother to reach out to me? Why even bother to seek out my permission when your mind was already made up?”

“Because I promised you that I would never lie to you. You had a right to know what I was willing to risk and why,” Scott answered without hesitation, without emotion as he could feel the weight of their connection upon him, “If I don’t make it out of there in one piece…”

“Then there will be hell to pay because I won’t lose you to this Scott,” Jean interrupted with a mild agitation in her tone, “This isn’t your burden to keep.”

“It’s one I asked for,” Scott answered poignantly knowing how the weight of his actions would change everything for them sooner or later, “I knew what I was doing when I promised to hold onto it. I knew the risk involved and I was ready to give what was needed in order to…”

“You shouldn’t have to fight a war that isn’t yours,” Jean’s voice echoed in his mind taking him from the tension of their conversation to a much darker place, “This isn’t your battle.”

“Every day we fight a war that wasn’t ours, but if we stopped fighting for freedom, then what is left of us? Who do we become when we stop fighting the evils of the world no matter who they are? You know that this is what we were trained for. This is what we do Jean.”

“You can’t keep saving the world to the point that there’s nothing left of you when everything is said and done Scott. Being a part of this team is important, but being my husband means something too,” Jean’s voice was filled with uncharacteristic rage and anger, “You can’t sacrifice yourself all because Logan fell into a situation that asks it of you.”

“I did it for you. Why wouldn’t I do it for him?” Scott spoke up thoughtlessly.

“Why indeed,” her words were tight, coming out in a pinched hiss that made him see he’d made a mistake.

Almost as soon as he’d said it, he’d regretted his words. He’d been short with her and he’d known that was a mistake, “Jean, I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” she questioned unable to mask the hurt in her voice.

“Jean, I never meant,” Scott began apologetically, but the damage had already been done.

“You never do Scott,” Jean offered up with a small sigh, “Neither does Logan, but it never stops either one of you from doing it, now does it?”

“Jean, you know that I can’t just leave him behind. I would do the same thing for anyone on our team. You know as well as I do that…” Scott argued knowing only too well that his betraying thoughts had already revealed far too much to his wife in their conversation.

“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t do what was needed to get the job done,” she conceded softening her tone when sadness settled in over her voice, “Does any of this change anything Scott? When will enough be enough for you? When will the fight ever end?”

“When the last man comes home safe and away from this nightmare world Abaddon has created,” Scott had explained perhaps a bit naively at the time when he’d prepared to say his final goodbyes to Jean. At the time he hadn’t thought he’d make it out of the mission alive, but he’d been certain that Logan would. That was the one thing he’d been certain of as Jean’s worries had played a hand in bringing doubt into his mind. It was with that thought that he’d found himself facing failure, facing the idea that Logan would be forever lost to him, but it was his stubborn determination and sheer lack of self that had provided him ample opportunity to save Logan and Clint.

“But at what cost?” he could hear Hank’s voice echo in his mind drawing him from the memory to the present feeling the hot, scalding water admonishing him for his carelessness as he attempted to wash the guilt from his broken body.

Maria hadn’t been wrong when she’d insisted upon him getting stitched up. It turned out that Scott had needed far more stitches than he’d imagined and a tetanus shot as well until finally the poor resident that had stitched him up had walked him to the on call room offering him the privacy to pull himself together while he awaited word on Logan. It seemed like a small concession, but one that Scott took no real pleasure in now that Logan was still unconscious and fighting for his life in a room guarded by Nick Fury and Clint Barton. Truth be told if it hadn’t been for Clint’s stubborn determination to stick around and unwillingness to leave Logan’s side, Scott wouldn’t have taken up the offer for a shower. He would’ve stayed caked in the remains of the previous evening wearing it like the badge of dishonor that he’d known it was with Logan’s pain and suffering over him. It was no less than what he’d deserved, but somehow, he’d been given a chance at making things right…or at least at washing away some of the reminders of his sins. Some, he realized, would be much harder to forget. Deep down he knew they would never truly wash away. That was something he’d grown to accept—something that he’d known he would have to carry with him, but this time…this darkness that surrounded him had cut much deeper.

“Damn it,” Scott cursed balling his fingers up into a fist. He let out a pinched, frustrated sigh struggling to hold it all inside as thoughts of Logan’s blood in his hands consumed him. He could still feel the weak pulsating of Logan’s heart exposed in his chest and against Scott’s touch as Logan had fought for air. Logan had been so weak and broken, so utterly lost that Scott had feared the worst was upon them. Now as their last kiss lingered upon his lips, imprinting the taste of Logan upon him, Scott found himself filled with guilt and remorse, swept into the midst of turmoil at knowing just how much he’d failed the man who had loved him so implicitly.

“Fuck,” Scott snapped reaching for the water dials and turning the temperature higher to the point that it stung. It singed at his flesh causing him to shudder with recoil, knowing only too well that it was no less than he’d deserved when he turned away from the heat and let out a low, bellow of a sob. It was then that he’d finally found the freedom to give in to emotion. Away from the others he could finally be free to face the truth. He was, in fact, a failure in every sense of the word. Sinking down to the ground, Scott sat on the ceramic shower overtaken by heaving sobs as tears spilled from his tightly closed lids, causing salty tracks to pour down his face guiding him from stoicism to madness. As he pulled his legs in against his chest, he let out a heaving sob unable to face himself any longer now that everything that ever mattered to him had been cheapened by his duty and responsibility. Everything he’d ever needed—ever wanted had been stolen from him, taken away as a part of a greater plan—part of something that was more than he was all because he’d been the chosen one. He’d been the broken boy that Charles Xavier had taken pity on all those years ago and with that responsibility came certain duties.

“You have to keep Logan from walking away from the team,” Charles had coached him on back in Boston, “Do whatever it takes Scott. He cannot leave.”

And like a puppet he gave in doing what was expected of him. To hell with his thoughts or feelings. To hell with his marriage or his obligations or to the fact that a part of him had always been in love with Logan. He was no longer allowed the luxury of love or happiness just the burden of the weight that Charles Xavier had put upon his shoulders all those years ago in choosing him above the others. After all, if he wasn’t the chosen one, then what did he have to offer? What made him special?

“Nothing,” Scott bellowed out as if to answer the questions in his mind as he found himself crumbling to pieces, lost deep within the walls of the nightmare he’d pressed upon himself time and time again. He’d known that he’d made a mistake—reveled in the idea that he had no choice, but there had always been another option. In everything he’d done, there was always a way out. He just hadn’t been up to task in finding it. Instead he’d bypassed what was right in favor of compliance—to be what he was groomed to be as the cold, unfeeling leader of the X-Men doing the impossible in making miracles happen.

 _“I can’t keep doing this Slim. I can’t watch you destroy yourself to be what he wants you to be,”_ he could almost hear Logan pleading with him—practically begging him to turn away from the monster he’d become.

 _“Without him I was nothing. I had nothing. I was no one,”_ Scott could hear himself arguing with Logan at a time when everything should’ve been easier. Instead they’d been divided by tensions, by anger and rage when Logan had reached out to him in a desperate, urgent plea for emotion.

 _“You’ve always been someone to me_ ,” Logan explained as Scott found himself back in the moment feeling the heat of Logan’s touch upon his cheek, coaxing Scott to move beyond the walls he’d surrounded himself with to face the truth that they both knew was in his heart _, “Slim, you’ve always been everything.”_

_“Then you have no idea how lost you truly are Logan because to love me makes you a fool,” Scott had rebuffed Logan’s attempt at reaching out to him, “I’m not yours to love.”_

_“Why? Because that’s what he wants and expects out of you? Because it is what he drilled into your head?” Logan had questioned painfully. The expression on his face had shattered Scott to the core, taking him from his cool demeanor to a place where he’d vowed to keep it forever locked away as his heart grew colder, “Because I know that last night you felt it. I knew that it was there when we touched—when we kissed—when we made love.”_

_“Logan stop,” Scott had foolishly pulled away, denying his heart when his guilt had consumed him. There were so many things he should’ve said, that he should’ve done, but instead he’d given into the weight of his guilt and had said the worst possible thing imaginable. He’d offered up the truth, “Last night happened because Charles wanted it to happen. I only let things get that far because…”_

_“No,” Logan shook his head furiously, “I don’t believe that…”_

_“He wanted team unity and I knew that the only way to keep you at bay was to give you what you wanted,” Scott kept his back turned away from Logan, “I gave in to temptation because it was what you desired—what you needed, but for me…it…it was just…”_

_“Just what?” Logan had questioned when Scott had done the unthinkable._

_“Another successful mission meant to keep you in line,” Scott had replied dismissively, with an uncharacteristic coldness before everything else that followed had felt foreign to the man he’d become. Instead of revealing the things that he’d always kept deep inside of him, he’d denied his feelings, offered up his body to Logan on the stipulation that Logan would continue to fight for Charles Xavier’s team. He’d been cold and cruel, offering himself as a tool for Logan’s compliance should Logan demand it, but what he hadn’t been able to provide the man he’d loved was his heart._

Instead of being honest with the truth he’d withheld from the world for longer than he’d cared to admit, Scott had tucked his feeling aside, keeping them under lock and key as he’d effectively broken Logan’s heart to pieces. He’d delivered the truth that Charles had infused into the situation making everything about securing Logan’s place on the team in offering up his prized pupil as Logan’s reward for being a part of the bigger picture. If Logan was to stay with the team, then Scott was to give him what he’d desired. He would continue to keep Logan happy effectively pimping himself out to someone he’d just as soon have something deeper with. If he’d been free, then everything would’ve been different, but in his circumstances Scott had been rendered optionless simply doing his duty as a solider and a leader providing his team member with what he’d needed to be invigorated by the goal at hand in following their mission to the very end.

 _“And where the hell did it get you?”_ Scott heard the voice inside of his head chastising as he found himself caught up in that motel room in Boston trying to forget everything he’d shared with Logan. He’d tried so hard to behave like a damned machine, to turn everything off, but in doing so he’d alienated the only person who’d ever challenged him to be something better. He’d pushed away the only person who wanted him to be something more simply for himself and that would be the burden he would carry with him for the rest of his days.

 _“When is it ever enough for you? How far are you going to keep taking this until you realize just how much you’ve lost?”_ he could hear Logan’s angry voice resonate in the back of his mind, followed by a few more explicit phrases when it had been clear that he’d shattered Logan completely. In the blur that moved through his mind, Scott could see the rage, the anger, the pain and the longing divided by the resentment over just how awful Scott had been. Logan had hated Scott when he’d learned of Scott’s duplicity. There had never been a doubt in Scott’s mind about that, but what had hurt worse was knowing how much love had been there. He’d seen it so many times in Logan’s eyes—had felt it just beneath the surface for so many years, but in a night he’d taken that feeling and destroyed it, effectively ruining everything that ever mattered between them all in the name of compliance. It was all a mistake. Scott knew better. Hell, he was smarter than that, but now as he sat in the middle of the steaming shower caught up in knowing that Charles was simply requesting it from him again, knowing only too well what it would cost Scott in the long run, Scott found himself slipping away giving himself over to the nothingness that he once was when he was a broken boy on his own, far from a family or a sense of belonging. Instead he was a horrible, wretched creature destined for a life of misery. For so long he’d believed that Charles Xavier had saved him from that, but now as he sat on the damp ceramic thinking about all the mistakes he’d made—all the cruel, heartless things he’d done to the only person who’d ever truly loved him, Scott realized he’d simply become the epitome of everything he’d always been as he’d grown to be a cruel, horrible man who’d risk it all in the name of the greater good. Every small sacrifice he made was with that end goal in the mind, but in doing so he’d slipped from being the hero into finally fitting the shoes of the villain and in knowing that he found that truly lost himself.

 _“Damn you for your tears,”_ he could hear the voice inside of him chastising his pitiful behavior, _“You don’t have the right. Not after what you’ve done. Not after what you’re still going to do.”_

“You don’t know what I’m doing,” Scott lashed out at the voice, attempting to find clarity as he could still feel Logan’s scent upon him. The blood had washed away from his tired fingers, but everything else was still alive inside of him—reminding him of the slow progress they’d made with one another, “I love him.”

“Do you?” another voice challenged causing Scott to gasp as he opened his eyes to discover the shower had been turned off. With a shudder, he realized that he was no longer sobbing on the floor as he was surrounded by a welcoming warmth, taking him from his misery to a secret place he’d only shared with Jean years ago when everything was simpler. Now as he looked around the open space, he realized that he was in the safe room they’d created in his mind, taking him from the truth of his suffering in the shower to their special place where she’d always found him when he was lost.

“Jean?” Scott questioned turning towards the sound of her voice. He looked around the room discovering her standing over by the window where he’d often found her. She was looking out onto the world beyond their safe space, revealing the sounds of laughter and the cool, summer breeze that she’d locked within the walls of their safe space. It served as a remnant of their time together one summer afternoon as teenagers when they’d escaped to a secluded beach cabin set on savoring the sun and each other away from Charles and his watchful eye. At the time the very thought had sounded scandalous, but it had been sweet and innocent in so many ways that Scott had long since turned away from. Now as he saw his wife standing in front of the window in the same flowing white sundress that she’d worn on that fateful afternoon they’d shared away from the rest of the world, he found his heart sinking in knowing how far they’d fallen from that time together.

“You’re projecting dear,” Jean’s hollow voice explained as she kept her eyes focused on the window. He didn’t have to look to know that outside she was watching the afternoon replay, seeing the younger versions of the two of them walking along the seashore collecting shells and holding hands. They’d been so caught up in the idea of new love, so ready to experience it all together when they’d found their great escape. Back then it had been so easy, but now they were divided by tension, locked out of each other’s hearts as their safe space now felt suffocating to Scott with his betraying thoughts consuming him, “I can feel your grief as if you are at my side suffering…”

“Logan’s hurt Jean,” Scott offered up attempting to clear his mind, to keep his focus on his wife’s presence after she’d called to him, “He almost died last night and…”

“Here you are again hating yourself for not being able to ride to the rescue and prevent it from happening,” she sighed tilting her head to the side and offering up a poignant smile when her sad eyes met his, “If only he knew half of what I did about your heart…”

“Jean,” Scott opened his mouth to find a proper apology, to say something to make things right, but he knew the time had long since passed. Instead he moved across the room making his way towards her with the weight of the world fell upon his shoulders.

“You’re making a mistake in going after Markus,” Jean looked away, once again turning her focus to the youthful versions of them learning to experience love for the first time, “He’s more powerful than you can imagine.”

“He isn’t the worst enemy I’ve ever faced,” Scott answered stubbornly, almost brazenly when she let out a pinched laugh.

“No,” she shook her head in agreement, “that title will always be held in your heart with you serving as the villain wearing your guilt like a crown of thorns. You harbor it deep inside of you allowing it to serve as a token of your culpability each time your thoughts linger to the one thing you’ve kept denying yourself all these years.”

“Jean…” he frowned watching her move away from the window. She turned her back to him, refusing to look at him in his misery.

“Logan’s going to pull through this,” Jean offered up with a poignant sigh, “He’s fighting hard to pull through the torture his body has endured, but he will be almost as good as new with time.”

“How do you know that?” Scott questioned continuing in his slow approach, “How can you be so convinced that he will be safe?”

“Because when you’re ready to save him, you’ll come to me,” Jean’s voice transformed taking Scott from their safe space to a much darker, distant place beyond anything he could imagine. With her words, her body shifted causing her to transform into the monster he’d been seeking out in this sick game that began back at the club, “because when everything is said and done you know I’m the only one who can save him.”

“Markus,” Scott gasped finding himself paralyzed in the moment when the man who had tormented and blindsided him stood before him, simulating a special place in his mind and twisting it to torture Scott in his moment of weakness, “How did you…?”

“Last night you played a good game Cyclops, Such precision, brutality and violence, damn it was stimulating keeping me on the edge of my seat. It was so visceral and seductive opening my eyes to see you as you truly are,” Markus spoke up in a smooth and even tone, “Your pain is intoxicating, raw and primitive when you are stripped of everything you hide behind in your illusions that you share with the rest of the world. Last night you were stripped down to the core in ways that I never anticipated I would discover, but in your madness, you revealed your true self—the real Scott Summers. Hell, after that triumphant display I’m almost convinced you’re ready for me…almost.”

“Where are we?” Scott questioned looking around the dark, foreboding room once again.

“You’re in a shower sobbing in the most disappointing of fashions after that grand display of showmanship and I’m…” Markus stopped with an amused smirk carrying over his sadistic lips, “well, when the time is right you’ll figure that out too, but for now let’s just say that I think you’ve earned a reprieve.”

“You son of a bitch…” Scott charged forward preparing to attack the man before him when Markus faded into thin air. Spinning around the darkened room, Scott looked around wondering where his adversary had gone when he heard laughter from up above. Tilting his head up Scott discovered Markus up on a dark, fabric colored balcony staring down at him with amused eyes.

“When I want you, you will be mine, but until then,” Markus snapped his fingers transforming the room they were in to a view of Logan’s hospital room revealing Logan hooked up to wires and machines looking bruised and broken with Clint seated at his side, “enjoy your freedom as it won’t be yours much longer.”

“Logan…” Scott stepped forward preparing to reach out to his lover when he felt the sharp, stinging sensation of water pounding down upon him jolting him out of the illusion that Markus had created only to find him seated on the shower floor looking every bit as miserable as he had been moments earlier.

“Later…Slim…” Markus’s voice echoed in Scott’s mind, revealing that Markus had stolen far more of Logan’s secrets as Scott found himself wondering how Markus had made his way inside. It was then that Scott realized how Markus had found a way in. He was clearly working with a telepath that was far more powerful than most. The only way to reach inside of Scott’s mind—to pull out something so deeply profound and personal was to use someone with capabilities that went beyond most—someone that could be…

“Damn it,” Scott cursed pushing himself up off the shower floor when a horrified thought carried over him. He pushed himself underneath the hard, unforgiving spray, quickly washing off the remains of soap from his body before he rushed out of the shower. He quickly dressed in the scrubs that the resident who had escorted him had provided him with, but beyond that he hadn’t thought to getting dried off or to what his dripping hair must look like as he rushed out of the on call room seeking out the one person who could help him.

“Scott?” Maria questioned as he’d rushed through the hallways, taking a path towards Logan’s hospital room. It was there that he spotted her in the hallway talking to Fury, looking less concerned about the situation than he was now that Markus had reached out to him.

“We’re not safe here,” Scott’s panicked voice confessed as he watched Maria move away from Fury.

“What do you mean we’re not safe?” Maria questioned worriedly, “Scott, what’s going on?”

“When I was in the shower, I was…” Scott stopped himself when he tried to regain focus. He took in a slow, nuanced breath before speaking up again in a firm, even tone, “Markus he…”

“He what?” Maria questioned moving in closer to him. Fury started to stand up, moving away from Logan’s door before Maria signaled him to stay in position.

“He’s here,” Scott explained watching as the color drained from her face.

“You saw him?” Maria asked worriedly.

“He was inside my head—inside my mind, but he’s seen,” Scott paused looking to the door to Logan’s hospital room once again, “He’s seen everything Maria because he has someone on the inside working with him.”

“Who?” Fury demanded standing up and scowling as he stomped over towards Scott, “If you have information on who has been assisting him through all of this…”

“He’s working with Abaddon,” Scott blurted out when the weight of everything came crashing down around him, “She’s the only person who could help him access my mind in ways that…”

“Abaddon,” Fury shook his head and scowled further, “She’s in a maximum-security prison far from here stripped of her powers and…”

“She’s the only person aside from Jean and I who knew about our secret place,” Scott explained realizing he sounded desperate as the weight of what he was saying took its toll upon him, “She saw things that no other person had access to when we were held prisoner in Canada and…”

“How can you be sure?” Maria questioned when Fury shook his head again.

“It’s impossible,” Fury argued once again, “I’m telling you Summers that the last time I checked in on her, she was powerless. She was…”

“I don’t know how it happened, but Markus found a way to reach out to her,” Scott struggled to put to words what he’d witnessed in the on call room, “They’ve been working together on this—perhaps using each other for their own personal gain, but as it stands he showed me Logan’s room with Clint inside. They know we are here.”

“You mean…” Maria’s face drained of all color when she turned to Fury again.

“I’m on it,” he walked away immediately making a call for more security when Scott moved forward towards Logan’s room armed with a new mission in mind.

“We can’t keep him here,” Scott decided walking towards the door when Maria reached for his arm to prevent him from going inside, “We aren’t safe Maria. Neither one of them are out of harm’s way now that Abaddon has found a way inside. If she is telling Markus where we are…”

“She can’t see where we are,” Maria argued with him, “Even if she has her powers…there’s no way that she can find her way inside. Even if she is helping Markus, we have taken certain precautions to ensure that…”

“Then he’s found another way,” Scott answered looking up to discover the security camera on the hallway positioned towards Logan’s hospital room. Without thinking about it, he reached for the metallic trash can at his side, hosting it up off the ground and preparing to launch it at the blinking light before him.

“Scott,” Maria stopped him gripping onto his arm when he realized that he was behaving irrationally. Taking in a breath he set the trash can down again knowing it was overkill, “you need to listen to me…”

“I’m telling you that Markus has seen where we are,” Scott turned to face her once again, “He knows that we’re here—what we’re doing and that Logan is…”

“He can’t touch Logan,” Maria promised with a newfound determination in her voice, “This place is safeguarded and…”

“But I’m not,” Scott answered readily, “Somehow he was able to get in through me. He invaded my mind and…”

“We can take measures to prevent that as well if need be,” Maria’s voice waivered for just a second as she moved in closer to him, “but first you have to tell me what you saw—what he said to you.”

“He’s coming after Logan,” Scott insisted with a scowl, “and if he knows Clint is here as well…”

“Clint is going home,” Maria answered as her blue eyes drifted up towards the camera once again, “I told you he was out of this and…”

“As long as Markus is out there and Abaddon is assisting him, then none of us are ever truly out of this,” Scott replied behind gritted teeth. He felt Maria’s hand on his arm as he found himself caught up in a moment of conflict. However, with the thought of his lover’s recovery on the line, Scott turned towards the camera again knowing only too well that somehow Markus was watching his every move, waiting to move in for the kill when Scott reached for his glasses prepared to put an end to the games between them.

“Scott!” he heard Maria’s voice appeal to him, but it was no use as he lowered his glasses just enough to blast the camera causing it to shatter upon impact. The remains fell to the ground as Scott turned to his companion again with a worried expression on his face.

“We have to get them out of here,” Scott reminded her with a frown, “They aren’t safe here and the longer we keep them here…”

“Logan’s in no position to move,” Maria explained worriedly, “The doctor said that it would be at least a week before he felt that Logan would make a full recovery. If we try to move him now, then there’s no telling what could happen.”

“So, you’re saying that…” Scott looked beyond Maria to where Logan was laid out in his hospital bed, surrounded by a clear, plastic curtain as the machines continued to pump life into his body.

“We risk infection if he leaves,” Maria answered readily, “Here he has the serum readily available to him and…”

“He’s still on the serum?” Scott questioned looking beyond Maria once again to the iv in Logan’s arm.

“It’s the one thing that is turning this around for him,” Maria continued to explain in a quiet, uneasy voice, “They’ve administered it into his iv line to help speed up his recovery.”

“And then what?” Scott questioned looking to her again, “If Markus is waiting to attack…”

“Then we get prepared for him,” Maria answered firmly, “We make sure that he won’t blindside us again and…”

“That’s a damn near impossible task,” Scott reminded her impatiently, “His association with Abaddon is enough for us to find a way to the prison and…”

“Scott,” Maria paused looking beyond him to where Nick Fury stood at the end of the hallway talking with other guards he had on duty.

“What?” he questioned with a frown.

“It can’t be Abaddon,” Maria confessed lowering her voice.

“What do you mean it can’t be Abaddon?” Scott questioned with an impatient huff, “Even if she is locked up, there’s still a chance that…”

“No,” she shook her head firmly, “there isn’t.”

“Look I know that Fury has faith in the prison system, but I know first-hand that…” Scott began again stressing the weight of his words in his pronunciation.

“After I spoke with you this morning, Nick and I talked about her,” her blue eyes shifted around the room wearily, as if the words that were about to fall from her lips were dangerous in themselves, “I told him about our concerns. I knew just how much danger we were in if we kept traveling down this road in knowing what she’s done to all of you and…”

“And what?” Scott questioned when worry consumed him.

“Scott,” she hesitated before speaking up again, “she’s dead at least in the clinical sense...”

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly, “Fury just said that…”

“Officially she’s still locked up. As far as her remaining followers know she’s still incarcerated, kept in a high security prison, but unofficially…,” her face tapered off into darkness when Scott realized that something had shifted on her features. There was a distance in her eyes—something on the expression on her face that made him realize that he still hadn’t moved beyond the surface of Maria’s intentions or truths. She’d been holding back—keeping something from him and now as they stood in the center of the hospital with the threat of Markus upon him, he found that once again he was in the dark about what was truly happening in the dark world around him, “She died three weeks before I enlisted you on this mission after an altercation with a fellow inmate left her braindead.”

“No. She just found a way to create a loophole in all of this,” Scott argued further when the weight of the invasion upon his mind Markus had made still hung fresh over him, “She’s not dead.”

“Scott, we were told that…”

“She just found a new way of destroying the world around her,” Scott decided when a deep, resonating fear swept over him, “Markus is helping her find a way to destroy the world outside of the cage she was born into.”

“Scott, I can assure you that…” Maria began again with a less than convincing tone.

“She’s evolved Maria,” Scott explained with a tiny shudder overtaking him, “I don’t know how he did it, but he’s turned her into something like him.”

“Scott, that’s not possible. There’s no way that…” Maria stopped herself when the lights in the building began to blink on and off leaving an eerie, unwelcome distraction to their conversation.

“We can’t stay here. It’s not safe,” Scott replied looking around the hospital corridor when it was clear that the games were only just beginning with the man hellbent on destroying everything that Scott gave a damn about having in his life. Now, with Abaddon at Markus' side assisting him through the process, Scott realized that they were all going to end up in hell faster than he’d imagined.


	21. Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finds himself fighting a battle against himself as the life his double lived filters into his subconscious. Afraid of what he sees, Logan finds comfort in Scott's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some violent memories. Pre-warning to those who have triggers with blood and violence.

**Madness:** a state of frenzied or chaotic activity.

_“You ruined him,”_ Jean’s voice echoed in Logan’s mind as he found himself surrounded by smoke and haze. He opened his mouth attempting to speak, but no words came out. Instead he found himself surrounded by thick, suffocating smoke and vapor struggling to recall where he was. At first he’d found himself wondering if he was back at Alkali Lake caught up in the life that he’d left behind, but soon the smoke that clouded his vision had dissipated revealing a far more grim portrait of the basement of the X-Mansion where he and Jean stood outside of a medical bay with one another caught up in a tense standstill. She stood before him with angry eyes, folding her arms in front of her chest and glaring up at him as if the gesture would shatter him to pieces. She was angry—angrier than he’d ever witnessed from her as they stood in their respective corners like sparring partners preparing to enter the ring with one another. Her lips were pursed in a deep, heavy scowl, but it was the scent of her rage that had caused him to take pause—to take a step back and attempt to backpedal when she verbally lashed out at him. She looked so much like he’d remembered her in another life, yet there was something in her face—in her eyes that had changed—that was somehow different as he took a small step back, “Do you have any idea what you asked out of him in forcing him to go in there to save you like that?”

“I didn’t ask him to come in after me. I told him if things soured to get the hell out of there and never look back,” Logan had attempted to argue in a feeble attempt at appeasing Jean’s anger. When the words fell from his lips, they felt foreign to him, coming out as if they were their own entity, giving weight to the realization that they hadn’t been his words.

 _“They were his,”_ a voice inside of Logan’s voice reminded him when it was clear wherever he was, he was watching a memory of the man whose body he now inhabited. The scene before him was hazy at best, pulsating with whatever invisible force that was keeping it just out of his reach, but he could feel it there waiting for him to grasp onto the things he hadn’t been able to recall of the other man’s life. Now as he stood on the outside looking in, a stranger observing on a memory that wasn’t his own, Logan realized that whatever this was, it was far from the relationship he’d carried with Jean in his previous life. In this world it was clear that they had a strained one relationship—one that Logan strongly suspected was directly linked to Logan’s attachment to Scott. Whatever was going on, it had been building for a while, brewing beneath the surface until it reached a boiling point as Logan realized things were going to get ugly between the man he once was and Scott’s enraged wife. For an instant, Logan found himself wanting to get a better look—to discover what secrets his subconscious held between them. He could see Jean’s lips moving, but her words were lost as were his until he felt the weight of them echo in his mind surrounded by a filtered view of the dark scene unfolding.

“Don’t you see he’s never going to let you go as long as you are there standing around pining for him?” Jean lashed out at him in her heightened moment of fear and rage, “He gave up everything to go after you! He willingly gave up that part of himself that made him him…all because he knew it was the only way to keep you alive Logan. What you made him do…”

“I didn’t ask for it, Jeanie,” Logan’s other self had argued with her, though a part of him hadn’t felt she was wrong. He could feel that in his bones that she was justified as she unleashed her rage upon him. Instead the other him had been consumed by guilt at the time, knowing only too well he’d deserved the accusations that she was throwing out at him.

“Maybe not, but I’m asking you now Logan,” Jean’s tearful eyes had broken his heart when she’d softened her tone. She stepped forward bridging the distance between them when she reached out to touch the side of his face in a desperate, pleading movement, “If he makes it through this, then you need to walk away. You need to let him go because if you don’t, he will never find the strength to do it on his own.”

“Jeanie, I…”

“He’ll never be free as long as you are here loving him from the sidelines,” she spoke up in a pained, broken tone that revealed far more to what she wasn’t saying to his counterpart as they stood together waiting for a sign of something that was happening behind the thick door beside them, “As long as he sees the way he’s hurting you—knowing how deep you feel for him, but he’s unable to reciprocate…”

“Look I’m not…” Logan began again watching as a tear slipped past her cheek.

“I don’t hold any illusions about my husband’s feelings for you Logan. We both know I’d be a fool not to see just what you mean to him, but if he and I are to have any kind of hope at a future with one another, then you need to do the right thing and walk away. You can’t keep waiting in the wings hoping for a day that will never come.”

“That’s not what I’m…”

“Of course, you are and why wouldn’t you? Scott loves you. He always has,” Jean offered up with a poignant smile. She lowered her hand from his face and let out a long sigh, “and as long as you keep holding onto that part of Scott, then there isn’t any place in this world where he won’t follow you down no matter what the cost.”

Upon the conclusion of her words Logan felt the walls of the basement shake around him, vibrating with the pull his subconscious had. It was fighting against the new memory, struggling to keep from accepting it as his own when suddenly he was surrounded by a bright, blinding light and an overwhelming sense of fear.

“No!” he could hear himself screaming in terror, caught up in a horror that went beyond anything he’d ever experienced in his life. He could feel death upon him, seizing him in her reach and attempting to drag him down to hell where he belonged away from everything and everyone that had ever mattered to him. With the hot violence and rage he could hear the screams of terror. He could feel the darkness attempting to pull him deep within, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel guiding him further into madness. With each struggling step and every, uneasy heavy breath he took, he found himself pushing forward fighting against death’s grip upon him knowing just how much he had waiting for him on the other side. If only he could find his way to the light—to the welcoming warmth it provided him as the voices inside his head threatened to tear him to pieces. In an instant they were all screaming at once—all pulling at his subconscious, ripping and tearing as the man he once was began fighting against the invasion of his body, struggling to reclaim his mind when Logan held onto all that he once was.

“You can’t have my life!” he heard another him arguing as he found himself in a room surrounded by mirrors revealing his tired, weary reflection. With a huff and a snarl, Logan extended his claws looking around the room as the other man’s voice filled his mind, stealing the one sense of hope he had with him, “It doesn’t belong to you!”

“This is my life now!” Logan argued with the phantom inside of his head. His eyes shifted around seeing himself reflected at different angles as he stood naked in a room surrounded by various versions of himself. With a snarl, he turned around, spinning in slow contemplation as the other’s anger pulled deep into his subconscious, “I’ve earned this second chance.”

“You’ve earned nothing!” the rage caused the room to vibrate around him causing the mirrors to shatter one by one until Logan found the final mirror image before him stepping out of the glass and into the center of the room with a deep, resonating scowl, “This was my life long before you worked your way into this world! You can’t have what’s mine!”

“This world only exists because I went back and made things right. This is what always should have been,” Logan argued with the phantom version of himself, “I’m the one who worked like hell to change things and…”

“…in doing so you stole all of this from me,” his double laughed wildly, caught up in a moment of uproarious laughter, “And for what? To find true love with a man incapable of emotion and feeling?”

“That’s not true,” Logan spat back at the other him watching as the other identical man circled around him stalking Logan as if he was his prey, “You never deserved him.”

“He never deserved me. He ruined me,” the other Logan snarled, enraged by Logan’s accusations, “He was never enough.”

“You never loved him enough. You weren’t strong enough to hold on and fight for him. You…”

“I gave everything to him and what did he give me?” his double questioned with a snarl. He ceased movement long enough to face down Logan in his anger. There was something dark and empty behind his eyes, something that Logan found himself shivering at when the cold, blank stare of his double reached down deep into him with menacing words, “He destroyed me. He ruined me and for what? For Charles Xavier’s dream of peace and unity? Take a good, hard look around us you fool. That dream is never going to happen. It will never be a reality if there is still us and them. We will never find true peace in this wretched world you’ve created.”

“No,” Logan shot back with a snarl, “You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” his double dared with a dark, sadistic smirk, “You think you’ve saved us all? Well, you are sadly mistaken. You’ve only made things worse—taking us all straight down to hell with you in this unnatural existence—in this world you’ve created.”

“This world is so much more than what it once was. If you had any idea what I’ve seen. If you knew the things that I’ve done to ensure that madness would never be. I gave up everything in order to change this world—to take it from what it was before. I put my life on the line to save him—to save all of them,” Logan attempted to appeal to his double when his mirror image snarled at him with pure, raw hatred, “With the way things were before I went back we are all dead. We were ripped apart, hunted down like animals every, last one of us and burned alive to appease those who hated and condemned us for being different. They eradicated us all out of hate and fear. They destroyed the world around us all, but I changed it…”

“We were all better off dead,” his double sneered moving in closer to him with dark menace in his eyes, “Even you!”

“No!” Logan shouted unable to contain the dark rage that carried over him. He rushed forward charging towards the other him suddenly aware of the fury that consumed him. It spiraled from deep within intermingled with resentment and jealousy over all the memories that other him had shared with Scott that were still beyond his reach. Granted, he knew that the life Scott and the other him had shared before wasn’t his for the taking, but it belonged to Logan now. It was his one saving grace as he’d found his way home after years of darkness in an unyielding storm. He’d traveled through time to be able to save Scott—to return him to the world and regardless of whatever darkness this new reality held for him, Logan refused to let go of the dream now within his reach. With a deep, unsettling roar, he slashed at the air ready to tear the memory of the other him apart once and for all. Violence surrounded him. Feral madness and unabashed rage consumed him when he slashed through the room around him desperate to kill the memory of the man whose life he’d taken in his emergence in this new world. His mind was filled with the rush of fire and anger, of blood and darkness until he heard shattering glass leading him to discover he was attacking himself in the mirror. Gasping in horror, he looked down to his gnarled hands seeing the blood that spilled beyond his claws, pouring out over his wrists when his double bellowed out in sardonic laughter.

“Scott Summers is broken in ways even you can never repair. He’s given in to the darkness and there’s no pulling him back,” the voice echoed in his mind taunting him with a cold, condescending tone.

“You’re wrong,” Logan snarled in response, huffing out a harsh, labored breath when he looked down to his chest to realize that there was a slash in the center of the broad expanse revealing the thin line of blood trickling over his center, “He needs me and I need him. We were meant to be together again. He’s my destiny.”

“No, you were never meant to find each other again. Now you are only meant to burn with one another. Even I knew it was hopeless at the end,” his double taunted as Logan turned around to see the man before him smiling nefariously. His wicked eyes burned with fire revealing a charred blackness forming over the whites of his eyes when Logan approached him cautiously, “You’ll never save him. No matter what you try he’ll always be just out of your reach! You’ll always lose him Logan. Each and every time you try it will always end the same.”

“No,” Logan argued when the double before him transformed to the last time he’d seen Jean in his old world surrounded by fire and madness.

“Kill me,” she pleaded as Logan could feel his claws reach up deep inside of her, stealing the life force from her body as the Phoenix screamed and wailed at the invasion. There was something in her eyes, something about her face divided by rage and terror, longing for death and peace while the fire inside of her sought out to claim so much more. It was in her ending that Logan had found himself plagued by guilt unable to hold back on his grief in knowing he’d failed them. It was in ending Jeanie’s life that he’d finally let go of the last piece of Scott she’d held inside of her. With each slash of his claws he’d freed her soul, but the monster within the walls of her body was not to be denied. Her rage was unmatched by any other as Logan’s claws twisted up deeper feeling her bleed out upon him.

“This is far from over,” he could hear the harsh, violent whisper of the Phoenix in his head warning him that his nightmare had only begun as he’d freed Jean Grey’s soul from the darkness that had overtaken her. It was then that everything had truly been lost in the old world. Everything else that followed was simply passing time until he’d been given a chance to make things right again.

“And oh, what a pretty prisoner you will be,” he could hear another woman’s voice echo in his mind when he was suddenly taken from his moment of torment in ending Jean’s life and surrounded by screams. His mind was flooded by terror, his body overtaken by pain when he felt the woman in white that he’d witnessed in the woods inside of him, seeking to destroy him from within as her telepathic grip constricted over him like a vise, “Your powers have given you great resilience through the years Wolverine, but with them you have been given the illusion of invulnerability. You have been led to believe that you were godlike, which has made you oblivious to the harsh realities surrounding your precarious position. With that ignorance you have been led to believe that you are special—that you are something more than a dirty beast, but you are wrong. You are inconsequential to the world around you and soon you shall finally feel the weight of your mortality upon you.”

“You won’t get away with this,” he snarled defiantly raising his chin up to see the full moon overhead. It was the same blood moon that he’d witnessed in his earlier memory staking its dark claim on the world around him. It was raging down upon the woman and her madness, feeding into her hunger for destruction as she raised her hand in the air to summon the others. With a quick flicking movement of her fingers, she waved her hand around in the air and alerted the men who’d been holding Logan down to force his head up, to make him see her plans for his ending.

To his left Logan heard a loud popping sound causing him to turn towards the noise. Through the darkness he could see a small band of her followers walking together, side by side, marching two by two over towards the peeling, rusted doors of an abandoned well in the center of the clearing. It was large, looking like a giant manhole cover split in half. Through the orange copper colored rust and textured surface, he could see that it was soaked in blood and had a symbol upon it that had been forged centuries earlier as it was weighed down with chains. It had been locked down tightly, keeping whatever was within caged in its prison.

“Begin,” the woman instructed guiding her followers to take her madness to the next level with the reemergence of whatever was kept imprisoned within the well.

Whatever was kept inside was evil. Logan was sure of that much. It was clear with the men arriving at the threshold to the cover awaiting the woman’s orders with knifes and long, sharp blades in hand that there was something within fighting to come out from its containment. In watching the woman’s followers approach the scene before them, they all stood in awe waiting on bated breath for their leader’s latest surprise upon them. One by one they began to whisper in a low, resonating unified hiss chanting words that didn’t quite reach as the evil within the well seemed to respond to their presence. With their words the strong rattling from within the well grew louder practically responding to their whispers and chants. It was then that Logan knew that no good would come from within. There was something dark and dangerous inside, something broken in ways that was bound behind the metal, caged within the well’s depths just waiting to resurface and release its madness upon the rest of them. Its dark energy was strong as the men surrounded the cover, each one looking wearier than the last as they positioned their blades at the oversized chains before them. One man stepped forward preparing to unlock the chains when Logan felt the presence of the caged animal within the well. It was breathing life taking in the crowd’s chants, growing in intensity—pulsating with a dark energy that Logan hadn’t faced before as the henchman holding Logan’s right arm gripped at the side of his face in a rough, aggressive tug.

“Watch and learn you beast. You haven’t seen anything yet when it comes to true madness,” the man promised when Logan realized it was the man who’d attacked him at the warehouse. He was wrenching Logan’s head back, gripping on the back of his hair and forcing him to witness the madness play out before him.

As the chains fell from the metallic cover, Logan watched in silent horror as the heavy metallic doors to the old well were pulled back, screeching with the shrieking, feral sound of the creature contained within. With each breath Logan took, he could sense a strong, throbbing, pulsating rage growing with the widening opening of the solid, metal doors. The sound from within was deafening, the epitome of pure madness when the woman’s men systematically worked together, pumping and pistoning their solid, soiled, muscular bodies as a unit to move the crank on the metallic rope that perhaps had once been used to retrieve the bucket from within the dark depths of the old, abandoned well. At that point in time before the woman’s followers had claimed this place as their own, the well might’ve been used for simplistic purposes. The crank itself might’ve been attached to a simple rope, but now with the sound of madness coming out from within the deep, black surface a thick, braided, spiked metal cord revealed itself underneath the moonlight. It whined and screeched with each movement the men made, fighting against it being revealed to the rest of the woman’s followers. It served as an indication that whatever was contained within the walls of the well simply was screaming to stay inside—wanting more than anything to hide forever when the moon cloaked the night in darkness.

As if in one futile protest to fight against the men pulling on the cord, the screeching sound sliced through the night air, coming out in a loud, shrieking inhuman pop causing two of them men to fall over from the unit with fear. With the noise, there was a sense of awe and interest among the woman’s chanting followers, guiding them to almost a blind admiration when the woman pinched her lips together in anticipation. She was so damned proud of her work and as the screeching, grinding sound continued, Logan watched in horror when the men fought to guide her captive up to the surface once again.

While Logan hadn’t been clear on what was within the well, Logan knew that it had been there for some time—basking in the madness that she had thrust upon it. What it once had been was no more as she had used the old well as a means of torture much like she’d used the fire pit on Clint and her henchman on Logan, but this…this was meant for something beyond brutal punishment as Logan found himself staring at the pale, gnarled bloodied arms that slowly rose from the surface of the well. They were attached together at the wrists, held by the chain, bound by heavy metal restraints as the gouges in the man’s tattered flesh revealed a great series of tortures he’d obtained from within the well's nefarious depths. His battered body was drenched with mud and muck, his dark blood pouring down his slim, muscular flesh, but as they continued to crank the chain, guiding him up into the moonlight, Logan realized the woman had been wrong in her approach. Her intent was to destroy her prisoner, but as Logan focused on her prisoner’s bloodied, battered chest now glowing with a faint amber color beneath the surface, he knew that plan had gone horribly awry.

“Feast your eyes upon your savior,” she goaded Logan further, mocking his pain when the man before him remained chained to her torture chamber, sliced up and tattered, bloodied from his bare chest down to his split slacks revealing far more damage than humanly possible to the man Logan’s heart ached for. It was in those moments that Logan found his eyes tracing over the lean, powerful, slender lines of the man he’d known by memory alone knowing his fate had been in Logan’s hands. It was in those heart wrenching moments that Logan found himself aware of the true torture Scott Summers had endured in the place where Logan and Clint had been taken captive. It had been unclear for so very long what Scott’s fate had been, but now that his head lifelessly slumped down just above his chest and his body had been systematically dissected with small cuts and incisions, battered and bruised, it caused Logan to shudder and shake. Vomit pooled in the back of his throat witnessing his companion sliced up by the mere arrogance of the woman and her loyal followers, spit on and soiled by the excrement that they’d thrown upon him, but it wasn’t the state of Scott’s body that had him so shaken. It was in what Logan had realized about Scott’s broken body that the others were still yet to see that Logan found himself filled with a new fear.

“Just look at you now hero,” she taunted Scott further, attempting to poke at his pain when the chain she kept gripped around her fingers shook with the movement. Her laughter spilled into the night as she kept Clint at her side, held prisoner on the same leash Logan had seen him in earlier. This time Clint was much thinner than the last memory looking weaker than Logan had imagined. With the woman’s grip on Clint’s chain, Logan realized that Clint’s mind almost completely shattered when Logan’s own body trembled at the weight of what was happening, “And to think you believed that you…you of all people could break me. You pitiful, broken boy. You have no real purpose in this world other than to suffer for your sins. You have no idea what you were up against when you pushed your way into my world believing that being a hero was all you needed to destroy me. To think that you alone could somehow destroy all that I worked to build when the others could not. Oh, how I will love watching you burn.”

When Scott remained still, slumped over on the pole he’d been chained to with his chest pulsating with the soft warm glow, Logan was filled with a sense of revulsion and disgust knowing only too well the torment that the woman had put his companion through was simply to taunt Logan—to make Logan suffer for his disloyalty to her cause. It was in Scott’s torment that Logan had finally given up hope knowing that he’d been responsible for his companion’s fate, but it was in these dark hours in the back woods watching the woman’s men reach out to poke at Scott’s battered body with their blades that Logan knew the madness was only beginning.

“He will burn Wolverine!” the woman promised gleefully. She tugged at Clint’s chain again causing him to fall to the ground and scrape his bruised face on the pavement. Her amusement grew brighter, strengthening her resolve to be merciless when she stomped over Clint’s spine, shoving him violently to the ground with her dirty bare foot, but was in the faint scent of madness in the air that Logan knew full well the nightmare was only starting for them, “I will spare no effort in tearing him apart limb for limb. After we have shattered him, we shall feast upon his flesh making him beg for reprieve, but we will force him to watch us savor him with his dying breath. We will take our time seasoning his remains and feeding them to you little by little until all that is left of him is the memory of the pitiful soul that foolishly believed he could be your savior.”

“No,” Scott’s raspy voice broke through the night, cutting into the tense air when the woman gasped in delight.

“He’s awake,” her guard announced stating the obvious and poking at Scott once again with his blade to cause him to writhe and twist on the pole. He didn’t, however, as his head remained slumped over seemingly lifeless and broken by the torture he’d endured deep within the ducts of the well.

“What did you say boy?” the woman questioned in amusement. She lowered her arm and loosening her grip on Clint’s restraints when her focus returned to Scott hanging over the well.

“You’re the one that is going to burn today,” Scott’s words came out in a low, primitive snarl sounding almost feral as he slowly raised his face up to reveal the madness that had consumed him. His eyes were uncovered after they’d stolen his glasses, destroying them in their torment before tossing Scott down the well to endure more of their sadistic tortures. It was then that Logan found himself focused on the dark bruising that covered the right side of Scott’s face tattooing the sharp beautiful lines of his bone structure with deep, dark shadows and cuts. It caused Logan to shudder with the sickening thought of the beating Scott had endured, but it hadn’t taken away from his sharp jawline or the natural beauty he carried within. Even bloodied and battered, he still took Logan’s breath away, causing everything inside of him to respond to the man he’d secretly loved from afar. It was then that Logan found the strength to fight, to will his body to work against his restraints hoping like hell that he could spare Scott any more of the woman’s madness.

“I don’t think so,” the woman laughed wildly, amused by Scott’s brazen display. Despite his wounded flesh, Logan could sense something inside of him burning deep within. He could feel it pulsating beneath Scott’s glowing skin, somehow manifesting the dark horror that Logan felt inside of him when Scott arched his head up towards the woman to reveal a dark, sadistic smirk, “This from the man who was too weak to endure all the tests we’ve thrown upon him.”

“You underestimate me,” Scott’s words were calm and even, far from the state his body was in, but Logan knew it was there bristling beneath the surface. He could feel it in Scott’s tone, could sense it in the air around them that Scott was still somehow in control, teetering on the edge of finally letting go somehow.

“This is no time for bravado boy,” she taunted him further while beckoning the approval of her followers, “We have witnessed you bend and break. You are weak minded just as the others. There is nothing special about you. We have seen as much. You are nothing to fear.”

“Then you’re the one who is sadly mistaken,” Scott assured her with a wicked laugh. His words were no longer his own as his eyelids opened to reveal the broken, bloodshot blue eyes that Logan had never witnessed before in their time together. They were dark and empty, revealing the loss of the powers that Scott carried with him, but in their absence something much darker emerged as Logan found himself down on his knees preparing for the madness to follow. The woman had no idea what she’d unleashed upon the world, but with Scott’s dark grin growing wider to reveal the compromise he’d made in relinquishing his control, Logan knew full well only destruction would follow.

“You never should have come here boy,” the woman released the chain she held Clint upon. Opting instead to stomp across the clearing to stand before Scott, ready to do him in herself when she wrenched one of the long, jagged blades away from the men who had hoisted Scott up from the depths of the well.

“I won’t argue that point,” Scott conceded twisting his head towards the sound of her voice as his eyelids closed once again.

“I shall cut your tongue out before I kill you,” she warned jabbing the blade into his ribs and causing him to shudder. He flinched, letting out a low hissing sound, but he didn’t scream at the pain. With the thin line of blood trickling down over his abdomen, Scott simply allowed her the moment of torment, gave her the chance to change her fate, but in her arrogance, she’d lost her power over him.

“Take your best shot,” Scott taunted as spit out a congealed glob of blood. He let out a raspy, heaving breath, his body rocked by the glow that had grown inside of him, but his captor was oblivious to what was truly happening before her in Scott’s warped reemergence above ground to become part of her world once again, “but I can promise you that for as long as you shall live you will never forget this day.”

“Oh, that I can assure you,” she laughed wildly before addressing her crowd of followers, “This day will be one of a great celebration as we have eviscerated the X-Men and the Avengers bringing the beginning of the end to their empire.”

“You aren’t that lucky,” Scott laughed uproariously.

“Luck has nothing to do with it,” she threw the blade aside before reaching out to squeeze at his face. She wrenched his head up tightly before speaking in a clear, enraged tone, “Today marks the day that I singlehandedly took down the first mildly annoying, troublesome steppingstone in our climb to the top. With your death will come about a great awakening, an awareness that we will not be ignored. The death of Cyclops will bring about the rise of Abaddon and the world will bow to my feet knowing that I am their true messiah.”

“On the contrary, your death will send the message that we will no longer stand for false gods or your brand of terrorism,” Scott promised raising his head higher to meet her cold, dead eyes with his grin widening. Her grip on his face eased up as she took an involuntary step back. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by her followers as Logan realized for the first time the wretched woman in white seemed shaken by Scott’s lack of concern. With his smile twisting over his bruised features, he spoke up louder as if to address her followers beneath the blood moon, “Your time in power is over Abaddon. This illusion you’ve created ends tonight.”

“Hardly,” she mocked him with another round of narcissistic laughter in an attempt to reaffirm her position over those who followed her. She tossed her long, hair back over her shoulders and placed her hands on her hips as if he hadn’t shaken her. Her actions spoke of defiance, in an attempt to reveal herself as the warrior god she’d pretended to be, but in touching Scott’s face something had changed inside of her. She was second guessing herself, Logan realized.

“You know there is only one way out of this Abaddon,” Scott addressed her with a firm, commanding tone, unable to avoid staring at her directly. In his dark gaze, there was something missing inside of him, something that Logan had long since noted was absent when Scott’s grin transformed to a deep, dark scowl, “We both know how this ends tonight.”

“In your death,” she called back arrogantly as if to cling to the energy her followers had provided her. It was in their belief in her that she found her strength, but Logan could sense her own security had been challenge as she faced off against Scott, “You will be the one who sees the truth as it is revealed to you. In your death, you will discover just how powerful I truly am Cyclops. You will see what your arrogance has denied you in coming here to challenge me. You are nothing more than an insignificant boy serving as means of offering up entertainment to the rest of us before I rule the world that you fight to hold onto. Once you die…”

“It won’t be tonight,” Scott taunted further as he silenced Abaddon’s words, “You won’t be the death of me.”

“No,” she paused moving in closer to him. Her dark eyes swept over his body, taking in the handiwork of her madness when she reached out to tousle his damp, dark hair, “you won’t die tonight, but you will die at my hand after I’ve made you beg for reprieve. Even then I won’t offer it until I’ve had my fill.”

“I haven’t begged yet, have I?” Scott questioned in a low, quiet rumble of a whisper meant for her ears alone. When the words found their way to Logan, it was then that Logan knew that Abaddon’s attempts at stealing Scott’s strength had backfired. Instead she’d unleashed a darkness she had no hope of beating.

“I’ve only just begun my pet,” Abaddon promised leaning forward to press a kiss over Scott’s bloodied cheekbone. It was a cold, maniacal gesture meant at further taunting him. Almost as soon as her lips found their way to his bloodied skin, Scott shuddered. He let out a sharp breath as the tip of her tongue edged out over his bloodied jawline, up over his sculpted cheekbone until finally she stepped back. Bringing her long, slender fingers up over the center of her pursed lips, she wiped at the remainder of his blood on her lips taking her time to deposit her fingertip into her mouth to savor the last traces of his torment, “Tonight you will have my full and undivided attention. That much I can promise you.”

“Oh darling, believe me I’ve already thought about the plans I’ve had for you,” Scott’s voice echoed the hollow darkness that had consumed him. It was his body and his words, but there was something else building beneath the surface that revealed what he’d truly unlocked in his time underneath the world around them.

“And what might that be?” Abaddon questioned with mild amusement in her tone, “Another string of insults meant to wound my pride?”

“No,” Scott answered with a firm, resonating tone that swept over her followers, commanding their full attention when he faced her down, “It all ends with your death.”

“My death,” she chortled wildly, practically snorting on his words. Tears filled in her eyes, bringing her to full blown amusement as Logan watched the scene unfold before him, “And you believe that you…a mere powerless, pathetic boy trained by a hack like Charles Xavier could be capable of such a feat?”

“On second thought,” Scott decided with a small, incoherent mumble of laughter spitting out another thick, glob of dark red blood when his body quivered before her. The guard poked him with the blade again to prompt his silence against their leader, but it did nothing to detract from his words, “I won’t kill you just yet. Instead, I will let you watch as your empire burns down around you ripping away your delusions one at a time as they rupture from within. I will force you to witness the end of your reign with it crumbling piece by piece until there’s nothing left, but the harsh, wretched reality that you are nothing more than a mild annoyance to the rest of us. You are meaningless and all of this is nothing more than an illusion that now must end mercilessly. Unless of course you’d prefer to bypass the suffering and simply surrender now.”

“Not on your life,” she snapped her fingers again signaling for her men to force Scott back down into the well again to reconvene the tortures she’d laid out for him. When she snapped her fingers in command Scott began to laugh wildly, overtaken by a new madness when Logan’s body trembled with fear, “Put him back in the well!”

“No, I don’t think I’d like that as this has gone on long enough. In fact, I’ve decided that I’m not going anywhere. This ends now,” Scott promised as his body began to shudder and shake, growing brighter as the chains that held him seemed to burst from within. His laughter filled the night, transforming from man to monster when Logan dropped down to the ground closing his eyes. He coughed when the weight of an invisible force thrust upon him. It slammed him into the gravel away from Scott and the sudden burst of energy that surrounded the clearing. In an instant Logan was hit hard by a white, blinding light and terror beyond anything he’d ever known. It made everything inside of him feel as if he was being ripped apart at the seams, torn apart and sewed back up together into the memory of the man he once was. The pulsating, vibrations over his skin caused him to vomit, overwhelmingly sick to his stomach and caught up in a bout of tremors when he could feel blood of the others upon him. He could smell it in the air, could taste it from within as fire cut through the clearing raging into the night without prejudice, unabashedly angry and exploding through the darkness.

“No!” the woman screamed out as Logan found himself fading away from the scene, far from the memory his double had kept buried deep within his subconscious. It was there under lock and key, trapped by something Logan couldn’t quite explain when the sounds of terror surrounded him, pulling him down into hell when the gloom engulfed him. In the darkness the scent of charred flesh and agonizing screams cut through the night causing Logan to sit upright with a gasp, struggling to find his breath now that the memory of the madness had found its way inside his subconscious. Everything inside of him was on fire, burning him alive as pain seared into his flesh.

With each labored breath he took, Logan found that the dread consumed him pulling him from a state of unconsciousness to a reality surrounded by gloomy, murky suffocating despair and confusion. His heart was hammering in his chest, his mind surrounded by the vivid sensory overload that had caused him to tremble and shake, fearing the thing that they’d unleashed from the well. It consumed him, eating him alive until he gasped opening his eyes to take in the light as he felt himself shaking on the hospital bed beneath him.

“It’s okay Logan,” Scott’s voice spoke up soothingly as Logan blinked in confusion. Logan felt the faint brush of tender fingers over his shoulder causing him to gasp when Logan turned on the thin hospital mattress to discover his tired looking companion in a chair leaning over by the hospital bed looking beyond perplexed in their surroundings. His face was thinner than Logan had remembered it, his jaw now covered in a line of stubble as it was clear that he hadn’t shaved in a few days. There was a weariness in his tone and an ache revealed in his posture, but Logan knew full well that Scott wouldn’t dare complain about it now that Logan was awake. Instead Scott let out a relieved hint of a smile as he moved out of the chair completely and touched the side of Logan’s face with his free hand, “You’re safe now.”

“Slim,” Logan gasped for air, struggling to find the words to convey the nightmare that had stolen his peace. It was still inside of him, still threatening to shred him to pieces within, but with Scott’s soft soothing finger skimming over the hollow of his cheek, just over the warmth of the hair on his jawline, Logan found himself suddenly at ease turning into his lover’s touch.

“I know,” Scott replied instinctively moving onto the bed beside Logan. Without hesitation or thought to what appearances would be, Scott eased in beside him melding his body up against Logan’s as if it was the most natural of instincts to curl up against him. Instead of keeping his distance, Scott wrapped his arms around Logan’s trembling form, cradling Logan in his arms and into his chest with the strength of his solid biceps. Soothingly he pressed a tender kiss over Logan’s temple, gently rocking Logan in his arms before whispering soothingly in his ear, “You’re safe now Logan. I promise you’re safe.”

“Wh…where are we?” Logan practically choked on the words, unable to mask the salty tears that the dream had provoked from deep within. He was terrified, fearing for the future as Scott rocked him tighter, cradling Logan like a small child who’d simply needed comforting. With another soft kiss over Logan’s forehead and Scott’s fingers lazily smoothing out the back of Logan’s hair, Logan found himself curling into Scott, desperate for the comforting touch his companion offered.

“We’re at the hospital,” Scott answered in a quiet whisper, his voice barely audible to Logan even with his heightened senses, “You were injured at the warehouse and…”

“Hagan,” Logan spoke up in a hoarse, tight whisper remembering the man he’d fought with at the warehouse, “He…”

“He’s gone,” Scott promised holding Logan tighter than before. He gently rocked Logan in his arms, refusing to break the physical connection between them.

“Clint,” Logan answered knowingly as pieces of the confrontation and battle at the warehouse filled his mind, bringing him to a clearer picture of the reality that surrounded them, “he…”

“…saw to it that Hagan will no longer be a problem for us,” Scott whispered pressing another soft, gentle kiss over Logan’s temple, “We’re safe here.”

“Are we?” Logan questioned mournfully, raising his chin up to look at his companion, wondering just how far from the truth Scott’s words truly were when Logan’s nightmare rocked him to the core.

“For now,” Scott answered cryptically. With a sigh, he stroked Logan’s cheek simply petting and touching him, fighting to keep the connection alive between them when Logan thought back to the nightmare that had haunted him.

“Slim,” Logan questioned in a small almost childlike voice as he found himself leaning into the warmth of Scott’s fingers pressed up against his skin, “Who is the woman in white?”

“We don't want to talk about her right now.” Scott answered evasively refusing to give weight to Logan’s questioning. His fingers tapered off into Logan’s thick, dark hair gently massaging his scalp in light, soothing motions.

“What did she do to Clint?” Logan sighed closing his eyes and reveling in his lover’s soft touch. It may have been served up as a distraction, but now as Scott held and caressed him, Logan found himself at ease caught up in his lover’s touch.

“Bad things,” Scott’s voice grew distant. His touch continued, but for the faintest of seconds, Logan could feel tension coil through his lover, reaching deep into a place that Logan had yet to explore.

Gasping outwardly Logan thought to the nightmare that had consumed him, to the sounds and the sights of Scott broken down and beaten before him when he spoke up in a pained whisper of a breath, “What did she do to you?”

“Not as many bad things,” Scott sighed hugging Logan in against his chest tighter than before. His arms squeezed protectively around Logan coaxing Logan to give himself to Scott’s embrace. It was tender and loving, doting in ways that Logan hadn’t realized that Scott carried with his strength.

“What happened in Canada, Slim?”

“Something we don't need to talk about right now,” Scott answered dismissively. He deposited a small kiss on Logan’s forehead again before humming a lullaby that Logan could faintly recall hearing in his youth. It sang to him, bringing him to a place of ease that he hadn’t felt in years as Scott rocked and held Logan keeping him protected in the warmth of his arms.

“How did we survive that?” Logan couldn’t help, but question breaking through his lover’s attempts to put him at ease in the center of the hospital bed wrapped up in one another.

“I took care of it,” Scott promised with a distance in his voice, revealing nothing about the nightmare that had damn near consumed Logan.

“How?” Logan questioned painfully, desperate to find the answers that his mind had kept tucked away deep in his subconscious. They threatened to explode from within, to reveal something far darker than he’d anticipated as Scott’s long, slim fingers gently pushed through the back of Logan’s hair to continue his impromptu scalp massage.

“I just did,” Scott answered lazily tracing circles over the back of Logan’s neck, just beneath his hairline causing Logan to position his head over the center of Scott’s chest to listen to the strong, steady beating of Scott’s heart. It thumped out a solid, rhythmic melody causing Logan to close his eyes and sigh as Scott held him, “and you’re safe now.”

“I don't feel safe,” Logan divulged freely.

“You are,” Scott answered with a surprising determination in his tone. It was too quick to be a lie, but too harsh to be the truth as Scott held Logan, gripping him tighter upon the mattress, “I promise you that.”

“I'm afraid Slim,” Logan revealed knowing only too well that his nightmare was only the beginning after it was clear that their past had found a way of catching up to him in this new world. While he hadn’t been the one that Scott had shared the darkness with, it seemed as though that was something they could no longer avoid now that fate had placed them into uncertain waters with one another.

“Me too,” Scott sighed sliding his left hand down over Logan’s spine to gently pet and caress Logan’s bare skin through the opening of his hospital gown. Effortlessly Scott’s long fingers crept beneath the material spreading out to supply a sense of ease and comfort now that Logan was wrapped up in his arms.

“What are we doing here?” Logan questioned lazily as Scott’s fingertips practically danced over his skin, moving down to Logan’s lower back before easing out over Logan’s side. They gently pressed into Logan’s hip, tracing the indents and curves before returning to the path Scott had taken over Logan’s spine in caressing him.

“Healing,” Scott stated plainly, as if the word in itself was the simplest solution to all the questions that Logan had running wild through his subconscious now that he’d been delivered a harsh glimpse of the life his double had once lived with the man at Logan’s side.

“Are we?” Logan questioned tilting his head up to seek out the truth in his lover’s response. There were still so many questions weighing upon Logan’s mind, so many memories still buried beneath the surface, but as Scott brushed his fingertips over Logan’s cheek, coaxing Logan to let go of all of his fear driven curiosity, Logan found himself melting into the man at his side.

“Get some rest Logan,” Scott suggested pressing a light kiss upon Logan’s forehead before resuming in the tender, loving massage over Logan’s spine. It caused Logan’s eyelids to grow heavy, his mind to release the fear in favor of simply getting lost in Scott’s soothing touch.

“Slim?” Logan questioned lazily. He felt a yawn rising in the back of his throat, threatening to take him under again as the warmth of Scott’s touch put him at ease far from the weight of his nightmares.

“Yeah?”

“Stay with me?” Logan yawned no longer capable of carrying the strength to stay awake in his lover’s arms. He shifted over Scott’s chest, careful not to crush the man beneath him when his eyes were once again closed. His hand was over the center of Scott’s abdomen savoring the warmth of the man beside him as he found himself slipping over the edge of consciousness once again.

“Always,” Scott’s promise echoed in Logan’s mind taking him from a restless awakening to peaceful slumber wrapped up in the protective embrace his lover had offered him.


	22. Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Clint have a heart to heart with one another. Scott remembers the moment his life changed. He later has a heart to heart with Maria that leads him towards making a very important decision about his future. Will it be the right one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential trigger warning: Within the context of this chapter Clint briefly discusses dealing with suicidal thoughts. Just a head's up to anyone who might be triggered by that.

**Insight:** _the capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing._

Pain reverberated through Logan’s body, hitting at just the right pressure points on his every synapse to cause him to twist and groan against the thin hospital bed mattress. For most patients he suspected that it would be an adequate resting place, but under his heavy weight he found it to be as thin as a sheet of paper serving no real purpose in offering up relief. Instead he felt the iron frame beneath him, undoubtedly buckling under his weight as he let out a pinched, aching groan. Everything inside of him cracked and creaked causing him to wonder if they had pain killers strong enough to make him forget that he wasn’t invincible. If not, then he supposed beer would do. Lots and lots of beer…enough for an entire fraternity house party would probably do the trick, he decided as he reached out to the bed beside him attempting to make the outlandish request to his sexy, stoic companion. Smiling despite the pain the thought almost amused him as he felt the cool sheet only to discover that Scott was no longer at his side.

“Slim?” he questioned with a tired yawn, slowly opening his eyes to take in the nearly empty clinical looking room around him. Almost immediately Logan’s heart sank realizing that Scott had disappeared again, walking away at a time when Logan had wanted nothing more than to hold onto him forever. Instead Logan was in a cold hospital bed disappointed and alone wishing like hell that he hadn’t felt like he’d been run over by a semi-truck.

“Afraid not Sleeping Beauty,” Clint’s voice echoed in his Logan’s mind taking him from the pain thrumming inside of him to the reality that he hadn’t been alone in his slumber after all. Twisting onto his back again, Logan opened his eyes wider to discover his old friend perched in the same turquoise recliner Scott had been seated in earlier beside the hospital bed. It appeared to be exponentially more comfortable than the bed that Logan had been subjected to. With a twist of his head, Logan took a long hard look at Clint realizing that Clint appeared to be as worn out as Scott was the last time Logan had been with him during their last encounter. It seemed to be a recurring theme to those Logan cared about as Logan realized that Clint’s face was covered in a light stubble. His lips looking a bit chapped and pale, but his eyes held hope at seeing Logan awake before him, “Your other half went to go speak with my…well, with Maria.”

“Right,” Logan cleared his throat and twisted on the bed again. He prepared to sit upright, but instead found himself met by a dizzy sensation in doing so. He let out a pinched breath, falling back onto the thin pillow beneath him feeling like a ton of bricks weighed down by his aches and pains. With the movement he was suddenly aware of a beeping sound beyond where he was stretched out on the bed.

“Whoa there, partner,” Clint sprung up from the reclining chair to stand at Logan’s side. His fingers pressed over Logan’s shoulder attempting to guide Logan back onto the bed in a more comfortable position, “You probably need to stay there for a bit. The doctor said you’d feel like the world was spinning if you tried to move this early on.”

“I feel like I’m on a damned merry-go-round,” Logan grunted listening as the annoying beeping on the monitor behind his bed quickened in rhythm.

“Yeah, well it beats the hell out of this roller coaster ride you took us all on while you were laying in bed taking it easy and playing possum,” Clint teased moving over to the side of the bed. He knelt beside the bed and reached for the controls before speaking to Logan again, “Here. This might help.”

“Thanks,” Logan replied feeling the bed move beneath him. With his eyes closed he let out a long, uncomfortable sigh before he realized Clint had raised the bed just enough for them to look more directly at one another, “How long have I been stuck in this shithole?”

“This shithole you happen to be living the life of luxury in is responsible for you still being here you know,” Clint corrected with an amused laugh that found its way to his tired eyes, “Even if the hospital food sucks…”

“I wouldn’t know,” Logan mouthed with a shake of his head, “I haven’t had a meal in…”

“A little over a week,” Clint answered readily filling in the blanks for Logan, “although I’m sure that by now you’re sick of the taste of saline from the IV.”

“Now that you mention it,” Logan offered up a small cough at the taste in the back of his throat, “Did you happen to sneak me in a beer by chance?”

“And risk Cyclops blasting my head off,” Clint laughed lightly somehow at ease in Logan’s suggestion. With a shake of his head, Clint’s laughter continued louder than before, “Not a chance, but you’re in luck. For today only I can present you with this highly coveted hospital special. It’s neatly packaged in a basic white, hospital issue Styrofoam cup that houses a lukewarm, ordinary tap water that tastes, well, like pretty much nothing, but it should help with the dryness in your throat.”

“I’ll take it,” Logan groaned closing his eyes again. Struggling to find focus in the room around him, he could feel the IV line in his arm, could taste the saline in the back of his throat as if he’d been making out with a salt lick for the last week of his life. If the aches weren’t bad enough it was the damned dry mouth and nervous feeling that did him in. Reopening his eyes, he tilted his head towards Clint watching as his friend offered Logan the cup in question.

As Clint leaned over Logan’s bed, Logan realized that the side of Clint’s neck was exposed in the purple colored scrubs that he was wearing revealing far more of Clint’s skin than his uniform had offered up when they’d been in Kingston fighting the fire with one another. When Clint pushed forward Logan found himself staring at the long, jagged scar that ran down the side of his friend’s neck over to the center of his chest to reveal the way that the woman in white had branded Clint during the mission that had haunted Logan’s nightmares. It was then that the Clint in his memory filled his thoughts, taking him from the safety of the hospital room to the place where Clint had been broken down by the woman in white that held them hostage. Shuddering at the thought Logan turned away from Clint and sighed, “I’m sorry for all of this.”

“For what?” Clint questioned holding the water out towards him once again in a helpful gesture, “For making me your personal servant while you get to stretch out and relax in the lap of luxury sleeping when the rest of us have been awake for long hours on end? Yeah, now that I think of it you should be sorry. You’re a dick. How could you do such a thing?”

“Blow me,” Logan groaned outwardly. He forced himself to face Clint again just in time to see the teasing grin that carried over his friend’s features as Clint held the straw out towards Logan’s surprisingly chapped lips, “thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. No, seriously, don’t mention it because the last thing I want is to have it added to my list of job duties in the office after we leave here. I’m not really meant for the role of personal assistant if you know what I mean, but in your particular case after you’ve saved my ass more times than I care to admit I can make an exception,” Clint teased assisting Logan with his drink. At the first swallow, Logan found his body craving the liquid like oxygen—anything to take away from the scratching of his throat as he eagerly sucked down on the straw. In his haste, it came out too fast and he started to choke on the water. The cough caused Clint to react, pulling the straw out of Logan’s mouth and reaching out to squeeze at Logan’s shoulder, “Not so fast. Take it easy Logan and just breathe.”

“I’m trying,” Logan snapped when the series of coughs carried over him for seconds on end. He could feel his chest tighten up with each cough, his body aching with the energy it took to deal with the water that had gone down the wrong way, but when he looked up at Clint again, he could see the concern behind his friend’s eyes, “How bad is it?”

“It depends on who you ask,” Clint replied with a sudden seriousness in his tone. He held the cup close to his chest before issuing Logan a grave expression, “There have been a lot of whispers around the hospital on what to make of your situation to be honest.”

“What does that mean?” Logan questioned worriedly as his old friend let out a long, contemplative pause leading Logan to fear the worst about his situation.

“You’re going to live,” Clint shrugged simply before revealing another amused smirk, “That has to mean something to someone, right?”

“Yeah, it means that you’re an asshole and when I get the strength to pull myself out of this bed, I’m going to kick your ass for trying to put me in panic mode,” Logan remarked sourly.

“It’ll be a while before that happens so I’m not worried,” Clint teased further. He reached out to pat at Logan’s shoulder in a goading moment of lightness between them, “Even at that let’s face it at top physical peak you never could keep up with me old man.”

“I was always going easy on you,” Logan laughed closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh, “I could kick your ass any day all day long if I wanted to. We both know that.”

“I’ll have to have you put your money where your mouth is when you decide to stop being lazy like this and finding ways to look pathetic enough that you have a legitimate excuse for flirting with all the nurses,” Clint added with another small laugh leading Logan to almost feel normal for a moment. It didn’t last long, but the sound of his friend’s laughter felt good. Really good if he was honest and despite the pain that carried over him, he realized he needed to hear more of it.

“You’re just jealous because they all know which one of us is the hot one,” Logan joked feeling his chest tighten up with the laugh that rumbled up from within.

“Yeah me, but I’m taken,” Clint jabbed at Logan’s rib again before Logan let out a long, tired sigh.

“I feel like shit,” Logan groaned dropping his head back onto the pillow when Clint pushed the cup towards Logan once again.

“You look like it too,” Clint teased with a wide smirk. He carefully guided the straw to Logan’s lips again and Logan took a much slower approach in drinking the water, “though I can’t really say that you smell like it given that you’ve had some rather sexy nurses in here giving you a sponge bath every now and then while you were out of it.”

“Is that right?” Logan eyed his friend suspiciously.

“Truthfully,” Clint paused pulling the straw away from Logan’s lips to give him time to swallow the water, “no. They were more like creepy looking orderlies, but I’m sure if you ask nicely you might be able to get your squad leader to pick up where they left off in giving you a rub down.”

“Clint,” Logan shot him a look, catching the way that Clint seemed more at ease in their surroundings. He was undoubtedly tired, but there was something in his face that had shifted as Logan found himself thinking about what he could remember from the showdown at the warehouse, “how are you holding up?”

“I’d be lying if I said everything was great, but hey now that you are awake things are looking up,” Clint replied with another wry smirk. He offered Logan the cup again before his grin expanded, “It’s good to have you back old friend.”

“It’s good to still be here,” Logan sighed accepting the water. He drank his fill and stopped watching as Clint set the cup down on the small table beside Logan’s bedside. With a small movement Clint sat on the edge of the bed beside Logan in a far more intimate gesture than he’d anticipated from his old friend. For a moment they sat in silence, simply contented to be in one another’s presence before Logan spoke up in a tentative breath, “You call Laura and tell her you’re still alive?”

Clint nodded somberly, “She knows.”

“And?” Logan arched a curious brow watching as a shadow carried over his friend’s grim expression, “How did it go?”

“She’s said it was nice to know I was still breathing,” Clint’s voice grew distanced when Logan realized his companion’s face darkened in contemplation.

“And?”

“And what?” Clint questioned focusing on Logan once again, “You just woke up. Surely you don’t want to hear about me and my life. I’m sure you’d much rather discuss what the first thing is that you want me to sneak in here for you to eat once you’re cleared for outside food.”

“Hmm…now that you mention it, I could go for a steak and a beer or just a beer or a beer truck at that,” Logan shrugged his shoulders, “Think you could manage that?”

“Think you could distract Cyclops long enough for me to wheel it up out back over to your window?” Clint mused at the suggestion. His expression revealed that just the idea of the challenge seemed to enthrall him, to cause him to consider the dare that Logan had issued him when the corners of his mouth curved upward once again.

“Oh,” Logan couldn’t help, but smile remembering the way Scott had wrapped his arms around Logan in his nightmare upon Logan’s last awakening, “I think I could find a few ways to keep him busy for a while…”

“Yeah, I’m not sure I want to know about the methods,” Clint mocked with a shudder before winking down at Logan once again, “but if we work on a plan together, then maybe I can work some magic to pull in a few favors. We could get a hose to syphon it up here and then…”

“You’re crazy, but in all the right ways,” Logan couldn’t help, but break into a moment of wild, unfiltered laughter at his friend’s words. It was enough to set a piece of his soul at ease, joking with the man he now knew had been his close confidant in this new life he’d happened upon. For a small window of time he almost felt relaxed—at ease with Clint by his side before his laughter intensified causing him to let out a small cough. It only lasted for a second before Logan caught the pensive expression on his friend’s now troubled features, “So…with you and Laura…”

“Logan,” Clint spoke up in a warning tone. He seemed prepared to say something to deflect his friend’s words but found himself at a loss when he slumped down further on the edge of the bed, “Maria’s pregnant.”

“Yeah,” Logan cleared his throat and looked up to the television in the corner of the room. It was replaying a soccer game on a sport’s channel, but the sound had been muted indicating that Clint had only half been paying attention to the game on the screen before him, “I kind of figured that one out before the whole warehouse situation.”

“How did you know that she was…?” Clint’s words trailed off when he looked to Logan again, “Heightened senses.”

“That and it didn’t take a genius to see why she was with me on the roof that night. I might have been distracted by the situation, but there were signs here and there since this whole fiasco began,” Logan pointed out with a frown remembering the few observations he’d made before he’d rushed into the warehouse to save Scott and Clint, “No offense Clint, but if you were hoping to hide what was going on, you probably should’ve tried harder considering that…”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it. There was no reason to,” Clint conceded with a troubled expression on his face, “Hell, I wasn’t even trying to run from it. I just didn’t know…”

“About the kid?” Logan couldn’t help, but question watching as Clint’s shoulders slumped over, “Or about how things would escalate with you and Maria?”

“As shitty as it makes me to say it, I’ve been certain for years about what’s there with Maria and me,” Clint confessed with a poignant sigh tilting his head down to focus on the sheet beneath where he was seated, “As much I wish I could escape it, it’s always there haunting me.”

“And the baby?” Logan finished watching his friend nod somberly, “Does Laura know that…?”

“Yeah,” Clint cleared his throat and looked away. He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and let out an ironic laugh, “It’s pretty fucked up that my wife and I can talk about it easier than Maria and I can right now.”

“What did she have to say about it?” Logan questioned seeing something flash behind his friend’s eyes.

“That she’ll figure it out,” Clint turned to Logan again finally revealing a raw sense of vulnerability that was absent earlier in the conversation, “only I’m tired of her trying to figure it out considering that the last time…”

“What last time?” Logan asked seeing something darken behind his friend’s features.

“Scott didn’t tell you?” Clint replied unable to mask his own surprise at the situation that they’d encountered back in the warehouse.

“Tell me what?” Logan replied, “About the baby?”

“About my daughter,” Clint explained with a small shake of his head, “About our daughter. Maria and I…we…”

“What?” Logan questioned watching Clint’s expression shift to reveal a pain he hadn’t thought his usually carefree pal capable of.

“It’s hard to explain, but Maria’s this inevitable force that I keep crashing into time and time again,” Clint explained with a distanced tone. His blue eyes clouded over, his mind caught up in something Logan was certain even if he’d been the other him, he wouldn’t quite understand, “I need her like the air I breathe and no matter how much she pushes me away, I fall under each and every time.”

“For Maria?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise, “Maria Hill?”

“Don’t act like it’s such a surprise,” Clint groaned outwardly. He twisted on the bed so that he could face Logan fully in his admission, “It’s been years in the making and…”

“But Laura…” Logan couldn’t help but blink up at him in confusion, “I thought that you and she were solid. That you two were…”

“We were, but then we weren’t…” Clint hesitated drawing in an uneasy breath, “Laura and I have been so strong because we’ve always had a don’t ask, don’t tell policy about what goes down on my missions away from home. If I leave it outside the door on my way back, then she doesn’t ask what goes on when I’m away from her. It’s what kept us so strong through the years, but with this last mission…with Abaddon and what she did…damn it, Logan, you know as well as I do that there was no escaping it. No matter how hard I tried to keep my promise to Laura, I couldn’t just leave the job behind me. I couldn’t just walk away from all the ways that I compromised myself—all the things that Abaddon made me do before she did what she did to me. When I think about the way she pushed herself into my mind doing what she did…”

Clint stopped himself when the weight of his pain appeared to be too much. He stood up, moving off the bed and making his way around the tiny hospital room. He began to pace, running his hand over the back of his neck, struggling to come to term with his thoughts before he stopped moving long enough to look at Logan.

“She got in here,” Clint replied bringing his hand up to his head and poking at his temple with his index finger, “and I couldn’t get her out. I couldn’t erase the way that she wormed her way inside and saw everything. She pushed into my head, breaking down my boundaries and taking everything that mattered—everything that means so much to me before finding a way to use it against me. She saw things—did things and…”

“Clint…” Logan’s eyes followed his friend across the room seeing the turmoil that was building inside of his companion.

“After it all happened I tried for so long to stay away from Maria—from anyone that mattered because I knew if Abaddon could get in here before, then…even locked up, there was a chance that she could still see in here,” Clint motioned to his head again, “If she could see what was going on inside of me that she would find a way to take it all away. She saw my family, my wife and then she used Laura to get to me when she was…”

“Clint hey,” Logan spoke up quietly remembering the things that his subconscious had revealed to him of the life the other him had endured with the tortures back in Canada. Even now the weight of those memories hung over him as he could still envision his friend caught up in the grips of madness at the woman in white’s hand.

“Every time she did what she did…everything that she made me do,” Clint choked up on his words when it was clear that Logan had opened the door to something dark inside of his friend all over again without trying, “I wasn’t seeing her. It was Laura’s face…she used my wife’s face wearing it in her illusions like a trophy when she…”

“Clint, I…I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Logan offered up dejectedly knowing full well that the words would never be enough after all that they’d lost back in Canada. Even now not having been a part of it, Logan found that he too was shaken by the splintered images his mind had painted of the nightmare they’d all endured.

“I tried so hard to get a grip on reality—to tell myself that I could write this all off as a part of the job,” Clint explained bringing his arms around his body when a shudder rocked over him. He stepped forward taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed near Logan’s feet when he spoke up in a quiet, somber voice, “After it played out like it did I was surrounded by darkness until Maria found her way inside. She was a beacon of hope after the darkness, a calm in the storm bringing me back home again after I’d been so very lost.”

“Clint, I…” Logan found himself at a loss when he realized there were tears behind Clint’s blue eyes revealing far more pain than his friend could put into words.

“She’s the one that I could never reconcile losing, Logan,” Clint blurted out lowering his head when the truth spilled from his lips, “She’s the girl that got away—the one that I told you about all those years ago…”

“Yeah,” Logan sighed thinking about the few things he’d picked up on in his time on this earth, “I kind of figured that one too.”

“There’s just something about her,” Clint paused dramatically unable to refrain from finding himself lost in his thoughts, “I love my wife and deep down I know that I should just break the ties, but time and time again we’ve just had this pull to one another. There’s been this thing that just refuses to end between us and now…”

“You’re about to be a dad…again,” Logan weighed out the thought as it was clear his friend was under a tremendous about of pressure, “How do you feel about that?”

“Like I’ve already failed my children that are waiting back home and wondering where in the hell their father has gone after his mission pulled him away from them,” Clint answered painfully tipping his head down when a sigh fell from his parted lips, “What the hell kind of parent does that make me?”

“One that is still alive to figure out how to set things straight with them,” Logan offered up quietly, “Even if it feels like it’s too much—like it’s too late, there’s still time to…”

“Screw them up too? Hell, Logan I can’t even keep myself in line when every time I close my eyes—I just can’t escape what we went through. How am I supposed to stand before them and tell them everything that’s happened? How do I explain why I’ve been gone so long and…?”

“You tell them as little as possible about what happened in Canada and the time that followed. After that, well, you and Laura need to sit down and talk about the fact that…” Logan offered up knowing only too well the importance of family in his friend’s life.

“That Maria and I are going to have a baby and my kids are going to have a new sibling…twice over?” Clint contemplated quietly more so to himself than Logan.

“Twice over?” Logan repeated.

“Yeah,” Clint raised his chin up to reveal a sad smile, “The last time Maria and I were together, well, things were beyond complicated. It was years ago when we first started this…thing, but we couldn’t ignore it. There was just something there—something in the situation that was heightened between us. We were hot and heavy together, caught up in this fairy tale we’d weaved with one another. It was fast and wild, but god, it felt so right when we were in it. After I was gone…she was pregnant and…”

“What do you mean gone?” Logan tipped his head up to watch Clint closely.

“Right before Fury recruited me,” Clint answered tipping his head to the side and watching Logan closely, “You know right before I went through training and…”

“Right,” Logan lied knowing nothing of his friend’s words, but not wanting to poke the situation further he simply nodded giving Clint room to keep talking to him, no matter what Logan hadn’t known about the other man’s history, “Of course.”

“When I turned myself in, well, things were kind of up in the air between us with the way I left. I did what I had to do and she, well, she decided that neither one of us were in a position to give our baby girl the kind of life she deserved. I don’t blame her for that because I know that I didn’t leave her a lot to go on, but still…when I think of all the time that has passed between us it just…,” Clint explained with a distant, unreadable tone when his thoughts seemed to get the best of him, “She only told me about it after I came back from Canada—after something happened to her and…”

“To Maria?” Logan questioned attempting to keep up with the conversation.

“No,” Clint shook his head, “To my daughter Logan. She’s missing and Maria thinks that Markus had something to do with it. She disappeared a few weeks ago and when we went into that warehouse, she and Scott were preparing to get information from Markus’s system hoping to find out where he was keeping her. She’s just a kid Logan and…”

“So, you mean…?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“My daughter that I didn’t know existed is out there at the hands of a madman and there isn’t a thing I can do to stop it,” Clint shuddered when his face drained of all color, “It feels like Canada all over again…”

“We’ll find her,” Logan promised finding the strength to reach out and pat his friend’s leg as Clint sat beside him, “If Markus has her…”

“Then she’s in more danger than anyone can imagine,” Clint’s worried eyes returned to Logan again, “When I think about the things that we went through…shit, Logan, you and I both know that someone like Markus is dangerous. Look at all he’s done so far on this mission…”

“I’m not denying that he’s dangerous Clint, but…”  
  
“What’s worse is that Maria threw me off the case and now there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it,” Clint’s voice rose with agitation. He reached out to rub the back of his neck as if to alleviate the tension that Logan suspected was raging through his body.

“She what?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise at the conclusion of his friend’s words, “Why would she do that? After everything that’s been happening…”

“She said it’s because I’m too close to all of this,” Clint answered behind gritted teeth. His jaw flexed with tension, his thoughts clearly turning to a new direction when he continued to explain his situation, “Because of the hold Canada has upon me, she doesn’t feel that I can take the pressure of this. She doesn’t think that I can deal with this after my meltdown at the warehouse. She believes that…”

“If that son of a bitch has your kid, then there’s no way you should be backing down on this sitting on the sidelines. Sure, maybe you shouldn’t be out in the field, but you belong inside of this investigation,” Logan’s scowl intensified in seeing his friend’s pain, “If you have a daughter out there that is missing…”

“On top of that Laura asked me to come back home,” Clint interrupted with tension in his voice, “When I told her how Maria kicked me off the case she asked me to return to the farmhouse so we could figure out what was next. She thinks I’d do better back there and away from all of this…”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Like it’s one of the worst ideas I’ve ever contemplated,” Clint answered honestly, “As much as I miss them, I really don’t think that now is the time to just walk away from the job—from something this important when…”

“Maybe she’s right,” Logan conceded thinking about his friend’s words. As soon as Logan had said them, he could see the frown that carried over Clint’s features, “Hear me out. It couldn’t hurt to go home and be surrounded by people who love you Clint. As much as it sounds like you and Laura have a lot to work out, maybe being with her would be good for you. It would give you time to work through what’s been happening and...”

“Like this?” Clint questioned with a sigh, “After everything that’s happened, how can I go back home again and pretend that this hasn’t changed me? How can I walk through the doors of my home and not stop thinking that this is still out there? With Markus and all he’s done…”

“Clint…”

“Not to mention that I have a daughter in danger that I’ve never met Logan—that I may never meet because some sick son of a bitch has decided that she’s good leverage for whatever twisted plan he’s putting together to destroy the world around him,” Clint’s voice raised with concern, “She’s just a kid and from what I understand her adoptive parents were murdered. They were nice, solid people Logan. Good people who tried to provide her with a good life and…”

“You think Markus did it?” Logan questioned tensing up at the thought of what Clint was saying to him.

“Maria believes he played a hand in her disappearance, but…” Clint stopped himself when something seemed to hang there on the tip of his tongue, threatening to reveal itself, but he held back. It was in that hesitation that Logan knew the answer to his friend’s concerns.

“You think the woman in white is responsible for this, don’t you?” Logan couldn’t help, but question worriedly.

“It makes sense, doesn’t it?” Clint pointed out with a frown, “When we were ambushed at that warehouse all of her people were working there. They formed an alliance with Markus and…”

“Clint…” Logan began finding himself at a loss as the broken pieces of his memory seemed to be coming back again to haunt him now that he was faced with his friend’s troubling situation.

“You know what she did to me. You know that she wasn’t going to let me go,” Clint spoke with a dark seriousness in his tone, “After each and every thing that she said, after every single thing that she made me do—that I did in the name of getting the job done she made it clear that she was never going to let go. She said that I was hers—that I would never be free and…”

“That doesn’t mean that she knew about your daughter. You said it yourself that while she had access to your memories that she pulled out things with Laura and the kids that…”

“Maria’s been building a case against Markus for a long time,” Clint explained lowering his voice. He looked around the room wearily before leaning in closer to Logan, “He knows that she’s coming close to taking him down. If there is a chance that he discovered the connection between us especially with Abaddon at his side…damn it Logan, you saw what she did to Scott to hurt you. You know what she put him through so imagine what she would do if she got her hands on my daughter…on an innocent young girl that…”

“That’s not going to happen,” Logan vowed when he was hit by a nauseating feeling. It caused his pulse to quicken, his heart to race as he found himself fighting to ignore the memory of the nightmare that had consumed him the last time he’d been with Scott. Sucking in a breath, he fought to stay in control, not to panic when Clint reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

“Look at this,” Clint half pleaded working his shaky fingers over his phone. Clicking on the screen, he scrolled through until he turned the phone towards Logan to reveal the image of a young, dark haired woman seated on a horse outside of what appeared to be a large, secluded ranch. She was dressed in blue jeans and a red, plaid shirt looking like a typical teenager with her long, dark hair tied neatly behind her head in a ponytail. Reaching for the phone Logan pulled it closer and realized just how much the young girl looked like Maria, but beyond that there was something in her eyes—in her smile that was entirely Clint, “When Maria kicked me off the case, I called Nat and she found a way to hack into the file. She started digging around and pulled this off my daughter’s social media account because well, I couldn’t help, but sneak a glance at her. I needed to know what she looked like if only to see how real she truly was.”

“Clint…”

“Don’t say it. I know I’m not supposed to be on the case, but…” Clint choked up on his words, “I had to know.”

“I get it. I wouldn’t do anything different if I were in your position,” Logan confessed taking in the joy that resonated in the girl’s smile as she was perched upon her dark colored horse simply enjoying the warmth of the blue sky and the summer day around her, “Oh man, she’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t she? I mean who knew that I could keep making beautiful kids like that considering what a schmuck I am,” Clint smiled proudly as Logan handed him his phone back. When it was in Clint’s grip, Clint focused on the image again seemingly lost in what might have been as it was the closest to his daughter he may ever find himself, “She’s stunning like Maria, but if you look closely…”

“She’s got your eyes,” Logan finished catching the tears that carried over Clint’s troubled blue eyes, “Clint…”

“She’s in danger Logan,” Clint insisted with a frown, “Even though I might be a stranger to her, she’s still my kid. How can I go home to Laura and pretend that doesn’t matter? How can I walk away from her in a time when she’s in real trouble just to go back to a life that I’m not sure is meant for me any longer?”

“You love Laura,” Logan reminded him simply.

“And I love Maria,” Clint clarified with a frown, “If I didn’t love them both, then it wouldn’t be so damned complicated. If I wasn’t so damned stupid…”

“You aren’t stupid,” Logan frowned.

“My stupidity put my little girl into this situation and my inability to just think about what was best for all of them is what caused all of this,” Clint argued silently condemning himself for his decisions, “If I had been smart enough to walk away when things with Abaddon went south then…”

“Clint…” Logan frowned watching as something clouded over his friend’s eyes. As Clint tucked the phone back into his pocket, Logan found himself at a loss, “I know you’ve got a lot going on, but…”

“What kind of man would I be if I turned my back on my daughter Logan? Hell, what kind of man would I be if I walked away from Maria now that she’s having my baby?” Clint questioned more so to himself than Logan, “She might’ve kicked me off this case, but she’s still in the line of fire with a huge target on her back. Markus is gunning for her.”

“Maria is the toughest woman I’ve ever met,” Logan reminded him pointedly, “She’s strong as hell and…”

“Pregnant. She’s pregnant Logan,” Clint let the words resonate in the room around him, swirling them around on the tip of his tongue as their weight hung over him, “That’s my son or daughter she’s carrying inside of her and…”

“Fury isn’t going to let anything happen to her. You know as well as I do that, he looks out for her and…”

“She was ready to storm the walls of Markus’ fortress knowing what risk it could be in doing so,” Clint reminded him pointedly, “She was ready to go in there on full offense when…”

“She’s not going to stop being who she is Clint. Even if you tell her to take a step back, we both know she won’t,” Logan sighed feeling an ache building in the back of his temple, “She won’t back down until she’s succeeded in her mission.”

“Yet she wants me to walk away pretending that I’m okay with this—that I don’t have a say in what is happening here,” Clint’s voice rose with agitation. His eyes were divided by a sense of duty and loyalty, but there just beneath the surface Logan realized there was also a slow, simmering rage working to build its way out from beneath his usually calm exterior, “She’s willing to throw me off the case, keeping me effectively out of the loop in finding my daughter when she’s putting our unborn child at risk just by continuing to work this case around taking Markus down. Things might be complicated, but she’s not just some fling that walked into a bar for a night of fun. This is a woman that I’ve loved longer than I’ve known Laura. She’s someone that I’ve…”

“Clint, I wish I had the answers,” Logan sighed finding himself at a loss when Clint’s breakdown was more apparent with each passing second., “but I can promise you that…”

“I’m pissed as all hell for her lying to me about all of this,” Clint spoke up behind gritted teeth as it seemed like he was wound up so tight he would simply explode if he was pushed just an inch further over the edge. He rose to his feet, resuming in his earlier pacing as he ran his fingers through his unruly hair, “If she would’ve just told me sooner—back when we had more say in all of this, then…”

“Hey,” Logan reached out squeezing at Clint’s thigh once again when Clint passed by the side of the bed, “you can’t beat yourself up over this. If you didn’t know, then…”

“I should’ve been in a position where she didn’t have to feel that she needed to hide this from me,” Clint argued with Logan as he pushed away. He moved over by the window, taking a long, hard look outside as Logan could see snow falling in the distance. It hadn’t been much, but the white flakes were slowly spilling out from the greying sky overhead creating a somber contrast to the world that Logan had slipped out of a little over a week ago, “If I would’ve just had my head clear when we found one another, then there’s no telling what would have happened. There’s no saying what would have…”

“You know now and that’s what is important,” Logan encouraged him. Shifting on the bed, Logan fought to ignore the pain still bristling inside of him when Clint touched the window pane, clearly caught up in battling demons that Logan still didn’t quite understand, “You can take that knowledge and use it to make an informed decision about the future now that…”

“I’m so fucked up,” Clint replied with a pinched, bitter laugh. He turned to face Logan again now revealing the anguished tears that had slipped past his cheek in his attempt to hide his pain from Logan, “We all are after that witch worked to destroy us. As much as I wish I could say it hasn’t changed me, we both know that Canada did something.”

“I’m not going to argue that,” Logan paused thinking about the dreams that had haunted him, “I know that things were hard, but…”

“I still have nightmares about what she did to me,” Clint revealed with a twisted expression on his face, “When I think about the way she broke me like that…”

“Hey,” Logan attempted to reposition himself on the bed as Clint began pouring his heart out.

“She broke me. She took everything about the man I was and turned me into this,” Clint continued to confess. He threw his hands up in the air and sighed defeatedly, “and as much as I know I’m supposed to say that I regret killing Hagan, I don’t. He had it coming a long time in the making after all he did and…”

“Yes,” Logan agreed firmly, “He did and so does she.”

“I still can’t escape the nightmares about that time…about the things that she did…to all of us,” Clint divulged quietly, his voice raw and raspy as he looked down to the floor, “When I think about how she bested us…”

“We survived Clint,” Logan offered up taking what little he knew about the mission gone wrong and trying to comfort his friend, “That’s the one comfort we have in knowing we came out of it alive.”

“Only because Scott…” Clint choked up on his words. A single tear slipped past his cheek as he forced himself to look at Logan again, “When she did that to me, I never thought I’d recover. I never believed that I would make it through the day. For so long I slept with a gun in my bed—not quite sure if I was using it to fend off any potential followers of hers or if I would lose the battle to the demons in my head and just do myself in. For so long I struggled with the idea if I could just get it over with so that I could forget…”

“Clint…” Logan spoke his name with concern evident in is tone, “Hey…”

“Don’t worry,” Clint paused contemplating his words before moving to Logan’s bedside once again, “I don’t have the gun anymore. I gave it up around the time Maria walked back into my life again. After I left Laura and the kids, I was lost…I was so far gone I didn’t think there would be any turning back, but then she came to me like a beacon in the storm. She pulled me out of my darkest hour asking nothing in return. She just wanted to save me—to help me save myself and before I knew it…”

“You realized you were still in love with her,” Logan finished watching his friend nod.

“And she’s hard as hell to love. Each time I get close, she holds back. She keeps this wall up between us—always keeping me at a distance because she feels that is the only way, but…” Clint hesitated before letting out an ironic laugh, “We both know that there isn’t any real sense of peace in this world unless we’re in each other’s arms. God, I love her Logan. I know I shouldn’t, but I do. She’s the last thing I need in my life, but now that she’s a part of it—even now that I’m furious with her for the lies she’s told me…”

“You can’t just walk away?”

“Would you?” Clint questioned helplessly, “After knowing what I know and feeling the way I do…?”

“I’m not exactly the kind of guy to go to for advice on these things. My experiences have all been…”

“You and Scott worked it out,” Clint let out a pinched laugh, “Even after you were ready to walk away, you found yourself at his side again and…”

“Scott’s everything to me. I love him with all that I am,” Logan divulged quietly as the echoes of the dream he’d experienced played out in his mind all over again. For a moment, he found himself back at the mansion, back with Jean remembering her animosity as it was clear that Logan’s presence had created friction between Scott and his wife, “but he’s not mine to have.”

“You don’t believe that,” Clint took a seat down beside Logan, gauging his friend’s reaction before Logan reached out to pat Clint’s thigh supportively.

“Slim and I are a complicated situation, but right now,” Logan spoke up in a smooth, determined voice, “I can promise you that whatever you decide that Slim and I will do everything in our power to bring your daughter home safely.”

“Logan, that’s not what I…” Clint blinked back at him.

“If Maria insists on you leaving, then we will keep you in the loop,” Logan promised him further, “If Scott agreed to find her, then nothing will stop him until his mission is complete. He won’t back down from bringing her to safety and…”

“You almost died Logan,” Clint reminded him with a poignant shake of his head, “I can’t ask you to put yourself out there on the line again knowing how close it was this time. After everything we’ve been through…”

“Your daughter is important to me,” Logan interrupted with a newfound determination in his tone, “just as you are. Clint, as much as it pains me to say it, you are probably the closest friend in this universe that I have right now. You are the only person who has always been on the up and up with me. You don’t bullshit me when I need the truth and…”

“What?”

“If your daughter is out there in need of rescuing, you can make for damn certain that Slim and I won’t rest until we find her again,” Logan squeezed at his thigh once again knowing only too well the dangers of the promise he was offering up to what he was now convinced was the only person in the world who had been straight with him from the start, “You have my word on that.”

* * *

The soft wishing sound of the water splashing into the sink of the men’s room did nothing to alleviate the dull, pulsating ache building in Scott’s temple. It had been there for days, but he’d simply done his best to ignore it bypassing any type of over the counter medication in favor of carrying the burden of the pain. It was bad enough that he’d spent his life surrounded by migraines, but this…this felt different as the weight of the world on his shoulders was causing him to feel as if he would bend and break. Ten minutes earlier he’d finished his briefing with Fury and Hill determined to find a new place to bring Logan to safety now that his doctors had cleared him enough to transport him away from the hospital. It was still risky, but it was a risk Scott had felt was worth taking now that his lover’s everything was on the line with the threat of Abaddon and Markus still lingering on the outside.

_“….when the time is right you’ll figure that out too, but for now let’s just say that I think you’ve earned a reprieve.”_

Shuddering Scott leaned down closer to the sink once again, reaching out to cup his hands and allow the cool liquid to pour into his palms. He dipped down further splashing his face as the not so veiled threat Markus had issued him reverberated in his mind, causing him to wonder what was next now that his new opponent in the dark, twisted game Abaddon had initiated all those months ago back in Canada seemed to still be alive and thriving, bringing the peace they’d once discovered full circle into darkness again.

 _“You can’t lose yourself to this ever again,”_ he could almost hear Jean’s voice cautioning him and taking him back to a time when he’d damn near destroyed himself to defeat Abaddon. He’d known the risks. He’d known what losing control could do, but he’d still allowed it to happen. He’d given in to the darkness for all the right reasons, but the outcome had cost him more than he’d anticipated they would have to pay. It was his burden to carry with him in knowing what he’d unleashed into the world, but then again, he’d known the risk when he’d accepted the weight of the power inside of him.

 _“This could kill you Scott,”_ he could hear Xavier’s warning during the darkest hour when all hope had been lost. He could remember his own fear, could feel his own silent, inner conflict knowing that once he took on the burden of responsibility there was no turning back. He hadn’t asked for it—hadn’t wanted it, but after the darkness had consumed his wife driving her straight to hell in it’s madness and taking their unborn child with it, he knew that he couldn’t risk losing her as well. Their child had been a horrible price to pay in dealing with the madness and her wrath, but he’d be damned if he let the fire consume Jean as well. He wouldn’t lose her. He couldn’t lose her.

“Scott,” he could almost hear Logan’s voice in the back of his mind when Logan had pulled him away from Jean and the others. He knew at that point what Logan was going to say—what Logan was going to coax him into accepting, but in those desperate moments when Jean’s life was on the line hanging by a thread, Scott knew the decision had already been made for him. Still, he knew Logan enough to know Logan wouldn’t let him enter the choice without a fight, “please. Don’t do this…”

“We’ll lose her if I don’t Logan,” Scott had explained at the time, “It is killing her. It’s tearing her to pieces, but it’s drawn to me. It wants to consume me. It…”

“It can’t be controlled Scott. If you take this on there’s no telling what it will do to you. You aren’t strong enough. You don’t have the kind of healing powers that I do,” Logan’s voice cracked with emotion. He reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face, hoping to reach that part of Scott that could be reasoned with, but with Jean struggling to survive that part of Scott was long gone instead devoting himself to keeping his wife alive at any cost.

“It wants me Logan,” Scott explained reciprocating Logan’s movement. His fingers brushed past the stubble on Logan’s cheek to take in the rough, dark hair that framed his companion’s face. With a pained breath, Scott leaned in closer to Logan, fighting to keep his emotions under control as his fingertips eased into Logan’s dark hair, “It’s made its choice.”

“What about your choice? What about you?” Logan choked up on his words, “Slim, I can’t lose you to this. I refuse to let it consume you when…”

“It isn’t up to you,” Scott argued stroking Logan’s cheekbone with his thumb, lazily sweeping his fingertip over Logan’s rough cheek knowing only too well the price they would all pay for Scott’s sacrifice, “If we lose Jean, then neither one of us will ever be able to face ourselves. We won’t be able to move forward if she’s gone. We both know that…”

“Why you Slim?” Logan choked up on his words, caught up in an uncharacteristic display of emotion, “Why does it have to be you?”

“Because it chose me,” Scott answered plainly, unable to mask the fear that consumed him in knowing that he’d given up the one thing he’d so desperately longed to hold onto through the years, “It has claimed me.”

“I chose you,” Logan argued further. He moved in closer to Scott, his face a mask of rage and anger, of grief and loss, of longing and desire for something that they both knew could never be, “I put a claim on you years ago.”

“This isn’t about us any longer,” Scott choked up on his words feeling the weight of Logan’s thumb skimming over the center of his lips, taking his time to trace Scott’s sad grimace when Logan reached out to wrap one arm around Scott’s slender waist.

“I love you Slim,” Logan breathed into him, squeezing Scott in against his chest when the weight of the world fell upon their shoulders, “Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“If Jean dies due to my inability to save her when her redemption is in my hands, then neither one of us will ever be able to love me,” Scott whispered wrapping his arms around Logan’s shoulders as the weight of his responsibility pulled them further from one another all in the name of saving the innocent who had been corrupted by madness, “I have to do this.”

“I can’t lose you,” Logan hugged him tighter, refusing to let go as he revealed a softer, more broken side to the man who’d stood at Scott’s side offering up unwavering loyalty through their years together. They’d been a team, but it was deeper than that. They’d gone from grudging teammates to allies, to something that wasn’t quite friendship, but couldn’t ever be love either. It had haunted them both, had ripped away a piece of their souls in their secret longing, but Scott had made his choice. He’d done what had been expected of him and Logan had come to accept that. They’d moved past what they’d secretly longed for until that fateful moment when Jean’s life was on the line hanging by a thread when madness consumed her, “Slim, do you hear what I’m saying to you?”

“I’m strong enough Logan,” Scott promised burying his head in the crook between Logan’s neck and shoulder. He pressed a small kiss over Logan’s hot skin feeling the faint flicker of desire that still stirred deep inside of him. It was the one thing he’d worked like hell to keep from Jean, but it was the only thing that made him feel alive in knowing that there would always be Logan at his side—at his position beside Scott ready to follow him into hell if need be, “I can survive this.”

“I’m not so convinced,” Logan choked up on his words hating the decision that Scott had made, but deep-down Scott knew that Logan recognized that it needed to be done. It was the one thing that would forever change them as Scott would change, evolving into something different right before his eyes, “Please…don’t do this.”

“I don’t have a choice,” Scott attempted to detangle himself from Logan’s arms before emotion overtook him. There was no place for that now that he needed the last ounce of his control. It was the one thing that would save them all if he could prove himself worthy. If he could only maintain the balance between control and chaos, then he could save Jean and the others. He could take on the weight of the responsibility that was offered to him and…

“There’s always a choice,” Logan pleaded with him once more knowing only too well that his words were in vain.

“I’ll beat this Logan,” Scott promised pulling back and touching the side of Logan’s face. He stroked Logan’s cheekbone, taking the moment to memorize the man beside him, holding him and touching him as the fate of the world rested on Scott’s shoulders, “I can control it.”

“No, you can’t Slim and that’s what scares me,” Logan sighed dejectedly knowing that all his protests were in vain. They hadn’t reached Scott’s sense of self-preservation or detracted from his loyalty to Jean or the others. They were simply a futile attempt at holding on to something that simply wasn’t mean to be, “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t,” Scott promised reaching out to touch Logan’s face once again. With the weight of the world on his shoulders, Scott found the strength to betray his sense of duty if only for one final glimpse of what might have been. Tenderly his thumb brushed over the center of Logan’s mouth, skimming over the rough surface of his bottom lip as if to lock the memory of Logan in his mind should things go south once he accepted his fate, “Logan, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Slim I…” Logan’s words came out in a buzzing hiss as Scott knew they were short on time. Jean was fighting as hard as she could, but it wouldn’t last. She couldn’t hold on much longer as Scott pulled his thumb away from Logan’s lips. Instead he leaned forward betraying his sense of duty with his lips skimming over Logan’s in a faint, barely there kiss knowing only too well that his heart would be his downfall should he allow himself to follow it. With the soft press of his mouth over Logan’s, he found himself slipping, dreaming of a life that could never be, but almost as soon as the kiss began, he pulled back knowing that regret would only weigh him down in his task should he prove unworthy of the power that he was about to take inside of him.

“I love you too Logan,” Scott vowed reaching for Logan’s hand and offering up a small squeeze. He carried it with him up to his lips. Silently he deposited light kisses over Logan’s knuckles before reluctantly letting go of the man that had offered him strength through his darkest hour, “This isn’t the end for us. I will survive this.”

 _“And you did,”_ a voice in the back of Scott’s mind reminded him as Scott stood upright with a gasp. His long, slender fingers stretched out over the top of the sink struggling to find the paper towel dispenser on the wall beside where he stood in the empty bathroom thinking about all the things that were still ahead for him. With Logan’s recovery on the horizon, it seemed that things were looking up as Scott tried to push the memory of the thing that had started it all into the back of his mind, forcing it into the place that Markus had so desperately tried to access in his intrusion upon Scott’s mind nearly a week earlier.

“You won’t break me,” Scott quietly mouthed to himself knowing only too well that Markus was still waiting in the wings, still strategizing his next move as Scott found himself filled with dread and anticipation.

“You can’t just take Logan out of here,” Maria had argued with Scott near the end of their meeting with one another.

“Watch me,” Scott had attempted to call her out, to put the pressure upon her to defy him. When she hadn’t it gave him opportunity to put the wheels in motion to figuring out their next move as a return to the school simply wasn’t in the cards. Bringing the paper towel to his face, Scott contemplated the safety of the others knowing that if he and Logan were far from the school, then they would be free from Markus and his madness. It was the only logical solution to the problem at hand as Scott tossed the damp paper towel into the trash bin he’d spotted before taking a time out to wash his heated skin.

 _“We just have to find a place to be away from Markus and his watchful eye,”_ that inner voice reminded Scott. Weighing out his options, Scott reached across the top of the sink fingering the edge of his glasses. Standing up taller, he gripped them in his hand and brought them up to his face, securing them in place before he opened his eyes to take a long, hard look at his unruly appearance. He looked like shit. There was no denying how unkempt he looked with wild dark hair and sunken cheekbones, barely having the stomach to eat as worry had gnawed at him in ways that he hadn’t anticipated after a week of waiting for any sign of life from Logan. It had been one of the hardest things to endure in knowing that Logan could be unconscious for an undisclosed amount of time until he could break free of the injuries that Hagan had inflicted upon him back at the warehouse.

“He looks like he’s improving,” Scott could remember an orderly noting on the day that Logan had finally awakened from the series of nightmares that he’d been having. Each night he’d been overtaken by tremors, silently murmuring Scott’s name until finally he’d break into a series of sobs and shakes. It was enough to leave Scott unsettled and hating himself for allowing Logan to end up in such a state, so each night when the nightmares had overtaken his lover, Scott had moved into bed beside him, cradling and holding Logan, hoping like hell that it would give Logan the strength he’d needed to move forward in his recovery. It continued that way from the moment that the doctors had cleared Scott to enter Logan’s room until the night when Logan had finally awakened seeking out comfort in Scott’s arms.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Scott could remember himself promising Logan again and again knowing that with his vow he would have to find a way to make that a reality. Logan was still healing, still a mere shell of the man he once was, but Scott was now convinced that together they stood a greater chance of survival away from Markus and those who’d been quietly working with him to ambush Scott and Maria on the mission. The longer they were in the hospital, the greater the risk for Logan was and Scott wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“We leave tonight,” Scott had informed Fury and Maria knowing only too well that in order to enact that plan, he would need a safe haven—somewhere that Markus and his endless eyes wouldn’t be able to spot them even if it meant going into hiding. It wasn’t the hero’s way of dealing with a situation by any means, but now it was about survival.

“I don’t care what you said,” Scott heard a voice outside of the men’s room shout out taking him from his contemplations to the others who still went about their day in the hospital, “I’m not here for you. I want to see him now!”

“You can’t go back there right now,” he could hear another muffled voice explain when Scott realized that the woman who’d been speaking was Maria. Her voice sounded strained and under a great deal of pressure as there was more garbled arguing taking place outside in the hallway.

“Damn it,” he cursed taking one last look at his appearance before turning towards the door preparing to diffuse whatever situation was taking place outside of the men’s room.

“I don’t give a damn what you say, I’m not going to just sit back and…” the first voice cut back sharply as Scott tossed the final piece of paper towel he’d dropped on top of the sink’s surface. Once he’d tossed it in the trash can, he opened the door to the men’s room only to discover Maria entangled in a heated argument with Natasha Romanoff. Maria’s hand was clasped around Natasha’s wrist in warning as the two women engaged in what he suspected was a battle over Clint Barton.

“Get your hands off me,” Natasha seethed wrenching her arm away from Maria, “You’re lucky that you are pregnant because if you weren’t, I would have no problem kicking your…”

“Ladies,” Fury’s firm, resonating voice filled the hallway instantly tearing the two women apart. He stood between them like the voice of reason effectively bringing an end to their debate, “now is not the time for you two to be behaving like playground bullies. Separate.”

“But…” Natasha’s lip curled in defiance.

“I wasn’t…” Maria seemed flustered caught up in a momentary lapse when it was clear that the Avenger had blindsided her in her arrival. It clearly shook Maria, but almost as soon as Scott recognized the emotion, it quickly dissipated causing Maria to take a step back and concede to Fury’s orders with a nod, “Of course sir.”

“Romanoff. You and I are going to have a talk outside,” Fury’s voice practically growled an order that Scott realized she would be foolish to ignore when Natasha nodded. She glared at Maria once again before stepping back attempting to right her blouse after her momentary outburst.

“Yes sir,” she nodded wrinkling her nose at Maria once again.

“Hill,” Fury turned to speak to Maria directly, “you are dismissed for the time being.”

“But…” Maria couldn’t help, but frown.

“Go for a walk,” Fury ordered in warning leaving no mistake about the weight of his request, “now.”

“Fine,” Maria stalked off turning on her heel and moving down the hallway towards where Scott was now standing. She cursed under her breath clenching her fists at her sides as Scott could see she was still seething from Fury’s dismissal. She was so caught up in her outrage that she hadn’t realized that Scott had tugged on her elbow effectively dragging her in a new direction, moving through a darkened hallway set to energy saver mode for the time of day, “What the hell?”

“You need to cool off,” Scott cautioned guiding her to move in step with him as he moved towards the courtyard he’d spotted the first night they’d arrived at the hospital, “Now isn’t the time to lose your composure.”

“I’m not losing my composure,” Maria argued as Scott guided her to the double doors leading out into the courtyard. Once they were outside, she threw her hands up in the air and glared at him, “I didn’t need you to rescue me back there.”

“No, you didn’t, but I also didn’t need to sit back watching you get into a boxing match with Black Widow just because the two of you both have some strange attachment to Clint Barton,” Scott couldn’t help, but roll his eyes behind his glasses, “Fighting isn’t going to solve anything when…”

“I wasn’t fighting with her,” Maria defended her position. She adjusted the sleeve on her dark colored blouse before seeing the way Scott was scrutinizing her, “I wasn’t. I was just…”

“Keeping her from going to see Barton even though you’ve tried to repeatedly send him home for the last week?” Scott arched a skeptic brow from behind his glasses, “Yeah, like that was really going to work.”

“I don’t care what Clint does,” Maria threw her hands up in the air. She moved around the courtyard with a huff when she realized Scott didn’t believe what she was saying to him, “I dismissed him and if he chooses to sit back at Logan’s side until he’s certain that Logan has the all clear, then that’s his choice. That has nothing to do with me considering that…”

“Bullshit,” Scott tossed back at her flippantly, “You haven’t pushed him to leave because you’re not sure it is the right thing to do anymore. You’re not sure he’ll be safe going home. Admit it.”

“Are any of us safe in all of this?” Maria challenged defiantly folding her arms in front of her chest, “Markus can reach us anywhere, so…”

“Then why are you fighting with Natasha?” Scott countered taking a step in closer to her, “Why not put your skills to work together and enlist her on the fight to…”

“Who do you think called her down here?” Maria wrinkled her nose at him stubbornly, “I knew that Clint would never leave as long as he was bogged down by this misguided attempt at being chivalrous where I’m concerned. He thinks that he needs to stay close to protect me, but we both know that …”

“You don’t need protecting,” Scott mocked her tone unabashedly. Shaking his head, he could see the scowl that carried over her tightly pinched lips when he continued to call her out on her actions, “because heaven forbid that you might actually need to reach out to someone.”

“Says the man who puts up more walls than anyone I know,” Maria shot back icily when his words hit her hard, “You are the last person to tell me what I should be doing in relationships considering that…”

“That might be true, but someone has to say it. With the way you’ve been carrying on this last week something must change here,” Scott noted matching her movement. He folded his arms over his chest before mirroring her stance before him, “You keep telling him to leave, but then you keep finding reasons why it isn’t so bad that he’s still here.”

“I do not. I told him to go. I said that he wasn’t needed here and…”

“But he is,” Scott reminded her pointedly, “at least that’s what you think even if you hate to admit it. A part of you still wants him here.”

“I want him to be safe and right now hanging around the hospital following me like a lost puppy dog isn’t going to help him or this case when…” Maria spoke up in neutral tone when her eyes shifted across the courtyard.

“Maybe not, but maybe you need to stop avoiding the truth in all of this.”

“Which is what exactly?” she questioned abrasively.

“That the man is head over heels in love with you and if you keep pushing him away, you are going to lose him Maria,” Scott cut her off abruptly when his thoughts returned to his own situation with Logan. Knowing only too well the turmoil he had put his lover through over the years, he found himself caught up in a moment of conscience as his companion’s situation in a lot of ways echoed his own, “Maybe that hasn’t really taken the time to sink in, but if you keep shoving him in the opposite direction, then sooner or later he’s going to throw in the towel and walk away.”

“It’s the best thing for him,” Maria bit down on her bottom lip struggling to keep her composure.

“Oh bullshit,” Scott groaned outwardly, “We both know that’s a lie. You don’t believe that.”

“Markus made a not so veiled threat upon you less than a week ago while simultaneously attacking our security system here, which is something that you were using to win your argument to take Logan out of here tonight, yet somehow you don’t believe that my having Clint walk away is the best thing for him,” Maria tossed back at him flippantly, “Sounds a bit hypocritical Scott.”

“I’m not the one who is in love with him,” Scott mouthed with an outward groan, “nor am I having his baby or hey, how about we take it a step further and point out that right now you have a daughter together that may or may not be being held captive by Markus. Perhaps one or all of those things might clue you in on the fact that it’s a little too late for you to decide to shut him out of your life.”

“That’s not what I’m…” Maria opened her mouth to argue but found herself at a loss when Scott’s words hit home in her.

“Yes, you are and it’s not going to work,” Scott threw his hands up in the air, “because each and every time that you work to push him away, something will happen…some…thing will pop up where you realize that you just can’t do it. No matter how much you want to, you won’t be able to deal with the idea of letting go.”

“I’ve dealt with a lot of things in my life,” she scoffed stubbornly, “I don’t need Clint around to see that…”

“You are so blindly, stupidly in love with him and nothing is going to change that,” Scott cut her off with a firm, resounding tone, “Maybe you don’t want to own up to that, but he does. He knows that he hasn’t gotten over you and now isn’t the time to be splitting apart. Sure, maybe he does need help. Maybe going home would be good for him, but what does that bring back with him? What does that do to his family?”

“I’m trying to think about what is best for his family,” Maria lashed out at him further.

“Then stop trying to push him away and start thinking about how we’re going to find your daughter without you making this so damned personal,” Scott warned sharply.

“This is personal Scott!” she snapped in recoil. She curled her fingers into fists at her side when it was clear Scott struck a nerve in her, “This is about as personal as it can be in knowing that Markus is out there preparing to do something awful.”

“Then let Clint be a part of this. Don’t put him in the line of fire anymore, but at least talk to him Maria. He’s spent the last week in agony just trying to get you to communicate with him about what’s happening here. Everyone has seen it and it’s getting to the point where…” Scott continued unable to mask the frustration that carried over him in his exhaustion.

“I told him to go home,” she reminded him.

“He doesn’t want to, so stop giving him an order he’s blatantly unwilling to follow. Start treating him like a member of this team who has valid input on the situation and…” Scott countered with a shake of his head.

“He needs help Scott,” Maria’s voice raised with concern, “and he isn’t going to get it here following me around when…”

“He isn’t going to get it with you effectively cutting him out of all of this. He has every right to be concerned about his daughter as you do. He’s every bit as involved in all of this as you are if not more given that he was back in Canada living out that nightmare that Markus is trying to pull us all into,” Scott pointed out with a shake of his head, “You might think that because Abaddon did what she did to him that he’s a liability, but he was at her side during that investigation. He’s the one man who gained her trust implicitly and his experience…”

“What?” she questioned.

“It makes him an even greater asset than you realize,” Scott continued drawing in an uneasy breath, “He knows things about that woman—about the things that she was capable of that none of us are even remotely aware of. Before things went to shit, he was the one front and center on point in all of this. He might not be able to handle the emotional weight of it all, but he’s the one with the most intel on who she was and what she was planning. He knew her operation inside and out and he is the one person who is most determined to find your daughter in all of this beside you.”

“I know he is, but Scott, the longer he’s here…” Maria’s lips curved downward in a tight scowl.

“The more you’re starting to realize that you need him around,” Scott softened his tone as he moved in closer to her, “I get that Maria. I really do, but maybe now is the time to stop fighting that. Maybe in all this the one thing that you need to pull from this is that you and Clint still need one another. He came to you when he lost everything and now that you’re in a position where you’re scared as hell, don’t put on a brave face just to keep him away. Don’t shut him out just because you think the mission calls for it because this goes beyond the mission.”

“Emotions are the key to this investigation falling apart,” Maria countered taking in an uneasy breath, “The moment that I take my head out of the game…”

“Maria,” Scott spoke her name in a firm commanding tone that caused her to fall to surprised silence. Taking in a breath, he attempted to shift his voice away from agitation to the concern a friend would show to support another friend, “Start thinking about that baby you’ve got growing inside of you and quit being Commander Hill.”

“Don’t you dare tell me to…” Maria opened her mouth to argue with him, but fell short when she turned away, taking in the falling snow in the courtyard.

“You can make your own choices, but I’m telling you now they are wrong,” Scott simply sighed taking a step back and relinquishing the anger that had consumed him, “You have no idea how simple things could be if you stopped ignoring your heart.”

“Gee, coming from that you that means so much,” Maria mouthed with heavy sarcasm, “Tell me how many times you have called your wife this week.”

“My wife isn’t relevant to this conversation,” Scott answered behind gritted teeth. Ignoring the bristling physical reaction that overtook him in her mentioning Jean. For a moment guilt consumed him, but in remembering that Jean hadn’t tried to reach out for him either, he forced that emotion back into his mind, “This is about you.”

“You know nothing about my life.”

“You’re not happy,” Scott argued returning to thoughts about his own situation with Jean and Logan.

“Neither are you,” she glanced over at his shoulder as if the words would prompt him into a sense of denial.

“No,” Scott clarified with a frown, “I’m not, but why in the hell would you want to be like me?”

“Scott…” Maria softened her tone. For a moment she looked as if she was going to say something to reject his criticisms, but instead she turned her back to him looking up at the sky and the snow that surrounded them.

“When I lost my child, it took everything from me—from both Jean and me. It broke us in ways that we never recovered from,” Scott divulged freely knowing full well that he shouldn’t even consider offering it up to Maria, but with the memory fresh on his mind, he attempted to reach that part of her that wasn’t controlled by the professional she’d become, “Jean and I wanted that baby more than anything. It was the one thing that made everything right between us. Hell, we had so much wrong between us from the start that we just chose to ignore growing up together, but our having a child…a baby who was coming into this world…damn, it erased everything that was wrong. It finally made things right.”

“Scott…” Maria spoke his name turning around to discover that Scott had moved around the courtyard to stand in front of a small statue of an angel holding her arms out. Her palms were curved upward towards the sky, reaching out to the heavens as if her prayers would be answered in her silent contemplations.

“We never realized how much we stood to lose until the world came crashing down upon us. All those years we spent fighting against our instincts—against what we wanted,” Scott let out an ironic laugh, “We could’ve been so much happier if we’d only been honest with what we wanted. We could’ve spared each other so much pain if we would’ve simply been true to our hearts…”

“Scott, I know you mean well, but…” Maria’s words reached out to him as she slowly crossed the courtyard to move in closer to him.

“You aren’t perfect, but guess what? None of us are,” Scott continued lost in his own contemplations, “but you still have a choice. You still have an opportunity to fight for what you want out of life. You can still salvage what is there and do the right thing.”

“The right thing is letting him go,” Maria softened her tone, “Laura loves him and she’s good to him. She makes him happy…”

“He’s not happy now,” Scott pointed out somberly, “and maybe after Canada, he won’t ever be, but what the two of you have together…even if you decide not to be together is something special. It’s something worth fighting for.”

“Clint doesn’t belong anywhere near this mission Scott. You know as well as I do that he’s crumbling to pieces and…” Maria attempted to argue with him.

“So, keep him off the mission, but don’t push him away from you. Don’t cut him out of this child’s life like you did the first time around,” Scott appealed to her once again, “Don’t force him into a place where all he has to hold onto is his nightmares.”

“Scott, we both know that he’s never going to be happy as long as…”

“Is he happy now?” Scott turned around to face her again, “Are you?”

“Happiness has nothing to do with what needs to be done,” she argued further.

“Even so,” he softened his tone, “you’re human and above the job you deserve the chance at happiness.”

“Happiness has never been a part of my life. It’s never been…” Maria stopped herself when the sound of the double doors opening behind them caused her to stand up straighter forcing any vulnerability from her voice. She cleared her throat and turned around to discover that Clint was standing in the doorway to the courtyard watching them closely.

“Sorry,” Clint looked between them apologetically. He shifted on his feet looking between Scott and Maria before clearing his throat and speaking up again, “Logan was just asking about you Scott. I promised that I would go looking for him and…”

“I was just heading back in,” Scott nodded politely before looking at Maria. He stepped in closer to her and spoke up in a low whisper meant for her ears alone, “Think about what I said.”

“Scott,” she opened her mouth to protest before finally nodding as he pushed past her preparing to give her and Clint a moment of privacy.

“Thanks,” Scott replied making his way to the double doors as Clint held them open for him. Scott paused for a moment looking over his shoulder and seeing the way that Clint stood silently watching Maria lost in her own contemplations. The tension in the air between them was strong enough to make Scott feel like an outsider looking in when he turned away hearing Clint’s shaky voice speaking up in Scott’s retreat.

“I couldn’t help, but notice it was snowing,” Clint spoke up as the crunching of his feet on the ground indicated that he was moving in closer to Maria, “You know how I feel about the first snowfall of the season.”

“There’s hardly enough on the ground at this point to build a snowman if that was your motivation in coming out here. It really isn’t the place for it either if you think about it,” Maria’s voice was nervous, yet far more vulnerable as Scott hesitated taking a moment to push his foot on the floor beyond the hallway to keep the door open for a few seconds longer.

“I don’t know,” Clint had a whimsical tone when he reached out to her again, offering up his hand as Scott looked back over his shoulder to see Clint making an attempt at bridging the distance between them, “It doesn’t hurt to try, right?”

“I suppose not, but I think you’re in for a big disappointment here,” Maria seemed to hesitate, but finally gave in to her companion’s odd request.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Clint decided as she grudgingly accepted his hand.

Taking it as a good sign Scott finally released the heavy, glass door giving the two of them their privacy as he made his way to Logan’s room knowing only too well that everything needed to change starting tonight.

“So much a quiet evening,” Scott mouthed knowing only too well that he’d dragged his heels long enough in behind honest with Logan. As he moved down the hallway towards Logan’s hospital room, he found himself faced with the decision of what came next. In the past, he might’ve lent himself to a plan—to a strategic play that would draw Markus out of hiding and into the trap that Scott was building for him, but Scott was tired. He was ready to simply just be as he moved around the corner of the hallway leading to Logan’s hospital room. For far too long it had been about duty and what was expected, but now he had to make it about healing. He had to find a way to salvage what was once lost between them if for no other reason than to right the wrongs that had taken place long before they’d ended up so close to losing it all.

“No more hiding,” Scott decided preparing to enter Logan’s room when he felt the low, subtle vibration of his cell phone on his hip. Reaching for it, he looked to discover that he had another text from Hank. At the sight of Hank’s name, he found himself dreading the message wondering if his friend was reaching out to admonish him all over again after Scott had been ignoring his calls. He was half tempted to ignore the message as well, but something inside of him opted to look at the message just to be safe.

“Damn it,” Scott cursed looking down at the phone and discovering his friend’s message, which was as to be expected. There were a series of messages urging Scott to call him back, to simply reach out when it was convenient so that they could figure out the best way to bring Logan back to the school for testing.

“Sorry Hank,” Scott apologized deleting the message in knowing full well that he couldn’t reach out to anyone at the school just yet. He was out on his own with Logan. He had to find a new way of approaching the situation with Markus and turning it around in his favor. Granted while he could benefit from his team’s involvement, he refused to make them targets in the sick, twisted game that Markus was playing. There were already too many players on the board and in his absence from the world around him, Scott vowed to find a way to even the score somehow and bring Markus down a level or two. It was his new mission, but first he had a more important mission ahead of him.

“Logan,” Scott reminded himself preparing to put his phone away when he noticed another unchecked message from Charles that had been there from the previous evening from around the time Scott had crawled into bed with an awakened Logan. It was there haunting him as he pushed the screen with trembling fingers to look at it.

HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH LOGAN? HAVE YOU RESOLVED THE SITUATION YET?

“Fuck,” Scott cursed seeing the message from his mentor and understanding it’s meaning as he held his phone in hand. Thinking about the warning Hank had issued him almost a week earlier, Scott found himself caught up in a moment of conflict when his thumb pushed over the delete button effectively shutting Charles Xavier out of his head for a little while longer.

“Not tonight,” Scott decided pushing his phone into his pocket and approaching Logan’s hospital room. He was almost inside, reaching for the cracked open door when he realized that Logan wasn’t alone.

“That was brave of you to go in there without backup to save a man that spit you out and discarded you, Logan,” Natasha’s voice was thick with sarcasm as it was clear that she’d viewed Logan’s actions as anything, but brave, “Granted I know why you did it, but to risk yourself like that almost dying…”

“You would’ve done the same thing,” Logan reminded her pointedly as Scott spotted her seated on the side of Logan’s bed with her hand on Logan’s blanket covered thigh.

“It doesn’t matter what I would have done,” she answered in a mildly annoyed tone, “Even if I would’ve saved him, I still would’ve kicked his ass on the way out. Plus, I wouldn’t have damn near gotten killed in the process. You should have waited for backup.”

“Would you have if you were in my position?” Logan challenged with a pointed wiggle of his brow, “He and Clint were both inside and…”

“That’s not fair,” Natasha argued with him, “but now that you’re okay, we need to figure out how to fix this. Clint’s already asked me to investigate his daughter’s disappearance and after I twisted Fury’s arm, well, you’re going to have me working on the case.”

“Heaven help all of us,” Logan’s laughter filled the air around him, bringing him to a certain sense of lightness that Scott couldn’t help, but smile in hearing. It was a far cry from the nightmares that Scott had experienced Logan caught up in, but with Natasha at his side, Logan seemed almost calm.

“Oh please,” she slapped at his thigh causing him to wince in reaction, “you know that I’m better equipped than the rest of you for this kind of work. Plus, I look better in leather than Cyclops. Admit it.”

“Sorry, no can do,” Logan’s laughter filled the air once again, “Have you seen Scott’s ass?”

“It’s one of his only redeeming qualities,” Natasha replied with a muted laugh of her own before she threw out her finger in warning, “but if you even think about telling him I said that, then I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

“You’d miss me far too much to even consider it,” Logan reached for her hand gripping it tightly before raising his chin to look up at her, “but for what it’s worth I feel better that you’re going to be on the team. I know how much this means to Clint.”

“He shouldn’t have to go through this alone,” Natasha answered readily, “and neither should you. If it wasn’t for me, then neither one of you would’ve been in Canada to begin with. If I hadn’t recruited the both of you…”

“Clint would’ve followed you anyway,” Logan answered in a quiet, contemplative tone.

“Just like you would’ve followed Cyclops into hell if he’d asked it of you,” Natasha reached out to touch the side of Logan’s face, “You never knew when to quit when it came to him.”

“Maybe not, but I don’t want to,” Logan answered reaching for her wrist. He brought her palm to his lips and offered up a chaste press of a kiss over the top of her palm, “Some things are worth fighting for.”

“Not when you’re asked to stand down,” she frowned in response, “Fury told me that Scott ordered you to stay out of the warehouse.”

“Yeah, well, when have I ever been known to listen?” Logan shrugged again, “You know how I am when it comes to following a direct order…”

“You defy it at the first chance you get if you think you’re right in a situation,” Natasha’s voice chided him further, “but this time I still don’t think you were right Logan. There was another way.”

“No,” Logan argued further, “there wasn’t and if I had to go back in time, I’d always make the same choice no matter what the cost. I’d ignore what was asked of me and do what I knew was right no questions asked. I’m not going to change who I am if something needs to be done. I won’t hesitate to break a rule if the situation calls for it.”

“Then you’re an even bigger fool than I thought,” Natasha replied as their conversation turned to the sports game on the screen on the television in Logan’s room.

As the two caught up with one another, Scott stepped back into the hallway giving them privacy as he felt the weight of his phone in his pocket once again. Taking in Logan’s words, he found himself thinking about all the times when Logan had defied a direct order—when Logan had put himself in unnecessary danger as the weight of what those kind of actions would cost him now that Markus was waiting for Logan to react. Looking over to the hall where a few scattered shards of black plastic remained on the floor near the trash bin that the custodian had used a week earlier to sweep up the remains of the security camera that Scott destroyed, he found himself thinking about how Logan’s defiance had damn near cost Logan his life. Logan had gone out on his own, risking it all on a whim when Scott knew full well how close he came to losing Logan. The thought left Scott unsettled when the buzzing of Scott’s cell phone captured his attention. He pulled it out of his pocket half expecting another angry message from Hank, but instead he realized it was Charles beckoning him once again as if he had somehow read Scott’s thoughts in the moment, reaching into the protected walls of the hospital to reaffirm his request in his text message. Frowning Scott hit the silence all button before pushing his phone back into his pocket now that his mission was clear. Despite his own feelings he had to do, he thought of Charles and his request knowing what was best for everyone even if it meant protecting Logan from himself at all costs.


	23. Obedience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a nightmare fresh on his mind, Logan awakens to discover himself at Scott's mercy. Will he be able to comply to Scott's demands or will they both end up disappointed by the distance between them?

**Obedience** **:** _compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority._

The howl of the winter winds cut through the cold in the mountains sending icy waves of chill over Logan’s adamantium laced bones taking him from the warmth and comfort of the Blackbird to the smoky haze of Alkali Lake. The thick, white fog rose from the water’s surface, blanketing the world in a dense, suffocating, impenetrable haze. It was almost overwhelming as the mask of once peaceful serene waters were replaced by the slow, brewing nightmare shifting from a portrait of nature to something much darker than it had been before. Alkali Lake had always been a place of secrets—of madness and misery that Logan knew only too well, but this…this went beyond his comprehension as time seemingly stood still. With the whoosh of the winds kicking up all around him, driving down deep into his lungs, Logan looked around by the water hoping to find any signs of the force driving the unnatural state he and Storm had stepped into. It was there in the atmosphere haunting him like a ghost that simply refused to let go when he moved through the mist seeking out absolution.

“Something’s off here,” he could hear Storm whisper under her breath. It was a faint sense of warning, but he dared not question it. He knew that things were so very wrong. He felt it deep inside of him, setting the beast from within on edge as they slowly moved further away from the safety of the Blackbird and deeper into the fog.

Storm had used her powers to clear a path for them, but she hadn’t been able to erase just how out of balance things were with dirt and debris all around them. Rocks were floating around weightless offering up an eerie sense of imbalance to the world beyond the school. It was in those moments that Logan was hit hard with a gripping sense of terror watching as Scott’s glasses floated through the atmosphere no longer upon his beautiful face, keeping his powers under control. Instead the ruby quartz lenses swayed through the air, weightless and empty, much like Logan’s heart had been after he’d reached out to take the glasses in his grip. He could still feel the warmth of Scott upon them—still lingering along with his scent as it was clear that Scott had been there a short while earlier. Gripping the glasses tighter, Logan found himself struggling to hold on—to remember why he’d found it so easy to let Scott walk away without a fight earlier in the day. Now, as he held the last remaining piece of his lover, he was plagued by guilt knowing that he hadn’t done enough.

“ _Not everyone heals as fast as you_ , _Logan_.” Scott’s words echoed through his mind haunting him as he held the only reminder of Scott’s presence in the world around him. For an instant it was as if a piece of Scott was still with him, bringing with the glasses a feeling of dread and the fading hope that his lover had been lost to the madness that surrounded Alkali Lake.

“Scott,” Logan mouthed gripping onto the glasses as he knew he was once again caught up in a memory of his old life. This was another glimpse of the past—of the life he’d once lived still working its way in his subconscious.

_“I’m dreaming,”_ he thought to himself as he moved around the memory. It was there replaying in his mind drawing emphasis to one of his darkest hours as it had night after night once he’d lost Scott. It was a wound that never healed—an ache that was forever a part of his heart in knowing that he could’ve stopped Scott from leaving, but he hadn’t. Instead he’d hesitated and in doing so, Logan had lost the only man that every mattered to him.

“Logan,” Storm had called to him pulling him from his inner turmoil to the remainder of the torturous memory. Systematically Logan had followed the sound of Storm’s voice to the rocks by the shoreline where they’d discovered Jean unconscious and laid out on the ground, a mere shell of the woman she’d once been. He could suddenly recall the fleeting hope that had carried over him in witnessing Jean’s reemergence. He could remember the way that he’d held on to hope until the very end wishing like hell that Scott hadn’t been gone forever, but he knew now even as he was trapped in the memory that the story would always end the same. He would always be lost without the one true thing in his life. Without love.

“Logan,” he could hear Storm calling to him again, forcing him to face the agonizing memory all over again when he rushed over to the rocks. He knew how this would play out, how the story would unfold when he rounded the corner once again ready to bring his eyes upon the unconscious woman who had stolen his happiness from him. Yes, Jean had been a victim, but in her madness, she’d taken away the one true thing in his heart leaving him an empty shell of the man he once was, “look.”

Moving faster, Logan pushed himself forward simply submitting himself to the haunting memory when suddenly he rounded the corner and realized that Storm was nowhere to be found on the edge of the shoreline. Neither had been Jean. Instead there before him caught up in a cloud of smoke and haze on the ground was a lifeless, stilled version of Scott without his glasses and stretched out upon the jagged stones.

“Slim?” Logan questioned rushing forward, no longer caring if the vision in his head no longer fit the truth he’d known. He’d spent far too many nights surrounded by the truth, but this…this had been his one hope—his one wish as he’d found Scott ripped away from him night after night. It was certainly not his reality, but he didn’t care when his heart raced for his fallen lover. Refusing to dismiss this vision, he instead he crouched down beside his unconscious lover reaching out to squeeze at Scott’s arm, to pull him from his unconscious state to Logan’s arms. Pulling Scott in against his chest, Logan could feel the heat and life force within his lover, struggling to keep holding on long after madness had settled in, “Slim hold on…”

Squeezing his arms around Scott tighter, Logan found himself overwhelmed by the scent of his lover’s fear, of the terror that surrounded him. He lay broken in Logan’s arms battered and mangled in shredded clothing when Alkali Lake transformed to that dark place in the open clearing in the Canadian woods where the aftermath of violence surrounded them. There was the strong scent of blood and mangled body parts everywhere leaving no hint of anything, but madness when Logan scooped Scott up in his arms, using all his strength to hold Scott in against his chest.

“Hold on Slim,” Logan pleaded knowing that help was soon on the way, but he feared it would be too late. He could feel the warmth of Scott slipping away, could see the color draining from his bruised face, but beyond that there was something there still lingering beneath the surface—threatening to consume Scott completely.

“Logan,” Scott’s voice echoed in his mind, haunting him as the pictures in his mind began to flicker with a clicking, snapping sound, shifting from his old life to the new, jarring and scattered path his double had been on like an old time film projection making a low clacking noise with each step Logan took towards freedom. He could feel Scott against his chest, shifting one moment to the unconscious man in the clearing, then returning next at Alkali Lake, wrapped up in leather. With each breath Logan took it seemed that the images intermingled and shifted, twisting the world around him with Scott unconscious in both worlds as it seemed the devastation had followed them. With each heavy step Logan made, he found himself sinking further into the nightmare, giving in to painful surrender when the worlds seemed to bump and collide with one another taking him from the hell he’d been thrust into on the Canadian mission with Clint and Scott to a place where Scott was still alive in his old world, broken and stilled by Jean’s actions. Both images felt foreign to Logan as a bright flash of light surrounded him, causing him to drop down to his knees again. He could feel Scott’s body tremble against him, jolting with warmth and heat, bucking and twisting until finally Logan fought like hell to hold him closer, to keep him from giving himself over to darkness, but it was no use. With each vibration Scott’s body made, Logan found himself on the outside looking in overtaken by a sense of dread until finally a hot, white blinding light hit him hard taking him from the confusing scene before him to darkness.

“Kill me Logan,” he could hear Scott’s voice pleading with him when he woke up with a gasp consumed by the heat of madness all around him.

“No,” Logan groaned twisting on the bed only to discover an ache building in his limbs. He let out a low moan struggling to escape the fading images that had haunted his sleep. With each passing second, they began to dissipate drawing him to the present where the world around him was filled with a sense of hope and new beginnings away from the turmoil of his dreams. With a sigh, he shifted on the sheet slowly opening his eyes to discover the flickering flame in the darkened room surrounding him. With another moan of awareness, Logan twisted to the left preparing to regain his bearings when he realized that his arms were up above his head. His wrists were bound together with zip ties keeping his palms pressed together in an uncomfortable position.

“What the…?” Logan questioned pulling his head up just enough to discover that he was no longer holed up in the tiny hospital bed that had given him more aches and pains than he cared to admit to. Instead of being surrounded by beeping monitors, he was in the center of a darkened motel room stretched out across a disarrayed double bed, which he had to admit even with a few broken springs beneath him, it felt like an upgrade from the paper-thin hospital mattress.

With a slow calming intake of oxygen Logan closed his eyes and tied to focus on the real world around him. He found the remnants of his dream still spilling from his subconscious to carry over his every synapse drawing forth a spiraling, tingling sensation over his nerves as he let out a long, uneasy breath. In the darkness behind his closed eyelids, Logan could vaguely remember leaving the hospital with Scott and Clint helping him to Scott’s sports car much to Maria’s dismay. There were a series of blurred images in his mind with Scott talking to Maria in a heated exchange. The words were lost, but their body language spoke volumes or the tension between them until finally Scott had returned to his car, moving behind the wheel to take charge of what the future had in store for them beyond the walls of the hospital. He could recall the way that Scott had worked to buckle Logan into the car, to secure him in his position in the passenger seat as they moved through the night preparing to go it on their own away from the others. Briefly he could remember that Maria had called again to make another appeal for them to return, but Scott had refused.

There were other images, scattered and broken in what Logan suspected were glimpses of what followed as Scott had taken them both from the cold security of the sterile hospital to the less than stellar secluded motel Logan had awakened in with candlelight flickering in the room around him. Shadows danced like spirits on the dirty beige wall, illuminating the darkened room when Logan’s eyes surveyed the quiet environment around him. He could vaguely hear the whirr of the wind beyond the foggy window indicating that the winter storm had kicked up beyond the walls of his new haven. With the storm outside, it provided a sense of warmth within, tucked away from the mountains and the madness that the world beyond the storm had threatened to bring down upon them. Instead in the quiet, darkened motel room, he’d found that he’d been ripped away from his thoughts of dark tortures and needless suffering to a place where he’d been surrounded by the warmth of candlelight and the much needed isolation from the rest of the world. If it hadn’t been for his strange awakening, he might’ve been at ease, but as the zip ties bit into his wrists, he shifted on the blankets beneath him growing increasingly on edge.

Groaning Logan struggled to remember how he’d found himself in such a position bound and laid out on the center of the bed naked and waiting for something that was inevitably going to happen to him. Just the idea was thrilling and terrifying at the same time when it was clear that even in his recovery, he’d lost a sense of time. He’d felt worlds of improvement in his body in terms of aches and pain, yet there was something still weighing upon his fractured mind after his taxing recovery. He closed his eyes attempting to chart the timeline that had taken him to such a precarious position waiting and curious for what was happening in the world around him. It was almost perplexing in his curiosity to struggle to fill in the pieces, but as he found himself overwhelmed with the suddenly strong scent of vanilla and cinnamon mixed with the crisp, clean soap, he knew at least one question about his time away had been answered. Suddenly increasingly on edge, Logan opened his eyes as his heart raced wildly. His mind was filled with temptation knowing only too well that there was one thing associated with such a tantalizing scent. Readily his eyes darted towards the source of the scent, finding himself curious about the man resonating the delicious fragrance when the familiarity and urgency mixed into it brought Logan to awareness.

Over by the window looking out into the winter storm beyond the warmth of the motel room walls, Logan could make out the lean, long, smooth, slender lines silhouetted of the man he’d longed for. He was standing in the moonlight by the half-opened curtain, gazing out into the night naked and partially aroused. Through the dim lighting, the shadows bounced off his skin, drawing emphasis to his every perfect line when Logan found himself mesmerized by the sight before him. Unable to contain himself, Logan licked his lips watching as Scott’s strong, steady fingers surrounded his own distended flesh, gently pumping and circling over his length, silently giving in to temptation within the walls of their haven.

“Slim?” Logan questioned watching the man he’d coveted for so very long standing before him unabashedly turned on and contemplative bathed in moonlight. His movements were mesmerizing, leaving Logan to imagine what it would be like if his hands were free—if he was the one pleasuring Scott, but much to his dismay he was in the center of the bed bound and naked wondering just what Scott had in mind in having him in such a precarious state on the bed.

“You disobeyed a direct order at that warehouse Logan,” Scott’s voice was firm and authoritative, yet distant in so many ways when he’d realized Logan awakened. He kept his eyes away from Logan, his words cutting Logan to the core when it was clear that Scott was somehow still angry with him for his insubordination well over a week ago.

“I did what I thought I had to do. There wasn’t time to wait for your approval to realize that I made the right choice in going in there. Like it or not, you needed my help,” Logan argued remembering the vivid details of the battle with Hagan that had damn near taken him under, “There were so many of them and…”

It all played out before Logan taking him from his slumber to the memory of madness when he’d helped Scott battle the guards waiting to destroy him at the warehouse. There was so much blood and violence around them when Logan had been hit by one of the first waves of memory surrounding his counterpart’s past. The first glimpse of pain had caused Logan to go into a rage, bound and determined to seek revenge when he’d set out to destroy the man who’d brought so much pain to the world around him in another life. Just the memory of the man’s face caused Logan to shudder and react in knowing just what danger he’d faced at that man’s hand. In the warehouse Logan hadn’t taken the time to fixate on the details until that moment in time when he was finally away from the warehouse free to recall the fallout. It was there on the front burner of his mind taking him back to the memory of pain after he’d collapsed on the ground. In his mind he could recall that there was a burning sensation followed by an icy chill and darkness. He could remember the scent of blood and death that surrounded him indicating that he was at the end, but now days later in the room with the sweet, seductive smells that Scott had laid out before him, Logan found himself wondering if he’d wound up in a far more precarious position in irritating his team leader.

“I told you to stand down, but you refused,” Scott finally turned around to face Logan fully. His lips were curved down in a scowl and as his palm dropped down beside his bare hip, Logan’s eyes were suddenly caught up in what he imagined was another voyeuristic fantasy seeing Scott half hard and extended, moving towards the bed Logan was laid out upon. Scott’s movements were slow and methodical revealing nothing about his intentions beyond the irritation that resonated in his tone.

“There wasn’t time to think about what was happening. I just had to take action and…” Logan frowned watching Scott stand at the foot of the bed staring down at Logan with disapproval masking his handsome features.

Oh yeah, Scott was angry—beyond pissed off in ways that Logan was certain that he wasn’t about to hear the end of anytime soon. Logan might have almost damn near lost his life, but Scott hadn’t forgotten his promise at the warehouse to reprimand Logan for his disobedience. It was clear in his posture that Scott was still upset—almost enraged even as Logan found himself struggling for a reasonable explanation for his actions. They were forming on the tip of his tongue, almost there to help him stand his ground in his defense. However, they were all but lost when Logan watched his fearless leader crawl over the bottom of the bed, moving in slow, calculated movements until Scott was suddenly very stretched out against Logan, naked and seated over Logan’s abdomen.

“You could’ve gotten yourself killed back there Logan,” Scott chastised him. He tipped his head down, revealing the sharp lines of his sculpted cheekbones and stubble covered jawline in the darkness of the room. The shadows danced over his skin making him look even angrier as his palms flattened out over Logan’s abdomen. Pushing down over Logan’s skin, Scott carefully repositioned himself allowing his weight to center in over Logan’s lower abdomen.

With a forward lean, Scott moved in closer, gliding his skilled hands up over Logan’s thick, dark chest hair. His fingers twisted and curled, gently tugging at the short strands. For a moment Scott seemed to hesitate, drawing a lazy circle over Logan’s breastbone, seemingly lost in contemplation before his fingers fanned out further, squeezing at Logan’s broad, muscular chest. It felt like heaven as Logan’s lips parted, expelling a labored breath. With the sound Scott’s fingers massaged and squeezed, warming Logan’s body up to the touch until finally pinching at Logan’s nipple in a sharp warning. It caused Logan to expel a low, primitive moan when Scott dipped forward with lips hovering just above Logan’s, “I told you that there would be a price to pay for your insubordination.”

“I vaguely remember you bitching about that, but we both know that I had it covered. I knew what I was doing when I walked in there. Even if you didn’t like the outcome, we both know that you needed me to…” Logan stopped himself when Scott cut him off with a hard twist of Logan’s nipple. Gritting his teeth when Scott’s thumb and index finger pinched harder at his skin, Logan couldn’t help, but moan. When the movements seemed to pull forth the reaction that Scott was seeking out, Logan felt his body tense up beneath his lover.

“Hagan ripped your chest open and left you for dead,” Scott shook his head disapprovingly. He tipped his head down, tracing his free hand over the place where Logan’s chest had once been torn apart in his haste to protect Scott. Unlike Scott’s body, Logan’s revealed no scars, but the freshness of the memory still hung in the air between them, serving as a dark reminder of how close they came to losing it all when Scott’s index finger gently swept over Logan’s skin.

“Slim…” Logan whispered observing Scott through the shadows and seeing the way his face seemed caught up in contemplations. His grip on Logan’s nipple eased up. Instead his fingers spread out over Logan’s chest. They gently massaged Logan’s skin, undoubtedly thinking about that moment when Logan’s heart was in his hand with Logan bleeding out on the floor beneath him. There was a moment of tenderness, an air of something poignant that passed between them when Scott’s fingertips danced over Logan’s skin lost in the nightmare that they’d both endured in Logan’s haste.

“You shouldn’t have done it,” Scott chastised with a frown. With the thought Scott seemed to snap out of the daze, tilting his head up to focus on Logan again through the soft illumination in the room, “You knew better than to go after him like that without a plan. You weren’t even supposed to be in there.”

“You needed my help,” Logan halfheartedly argued with him as the warmth of Scott’s body over him set Logan’s mind ablaze with temptation, “I knew you were in trouble and…”

“You know that to ignore a direct command on the battlefield is only going to get you killed,” Scott spoke up in a dark, dramatic tone, clearly caught up in the memory of the aftermath that Logan had missed out on during his time in recovery, unconscious and uncertain of the effect his actions had upon those around him, “Considering that we both know what the Euphoria is doing to your system, you are the last person who should’ve gone running into that building to save me. We both know that…”

“It didn’t matter. Once I knew you were in trouble, I had to do my part Slim,” Logan attempted to argue with him when Scott repositioned himself over Logan’s abdomen once again. Without a word Scott leaned forward replacing his thumb and index finger over Logan’s nipple with his soft, lush lips. At first, Logan felt his breath catch in the back of his throat when the damp slide of Scott’s lips over his skin set his body ablaze. Almost immediately Logan responded with a moan feeling his growing erection in response to the movement that Scott made over his abdomen.

“Your part was to stay where I told you,” Scott’s tongue flicked over Logan’s nipple, quick and playful. Methodically Scott’s hips pushed back, guiding his bottom to rub over the base of Logan’s cock, simply satisfied in teasing the man beneath him. It caused Logan to twist again, involuntarily arching his hips up when Scott’s lips parted to soak up more of Logan’s skin within the warm confines of his mouth licking and teasing over Logan’s heated skin.

“Slim, mmm…we both know that…” Logan breathed feeling his pulse quicken.

A moment later Scott’s teeth sank down hard over Logan’s nipple, clamping into his flesh with a wicked, painful pinch. It caused Logan to snarl, pulling at his bound wrists wishing like hell that he could reach out and touch the man above him. Instead he felt Scott’s teeth press into his flesh, offering up a series of firm, warning bites starting at Logan’s nipple, moving over his breastbone, down over his abdomen, trailing to Logan’s hip and then back up to his unattended nipple in a move meant to command Logan’s full attention.

“Slim,” Logan practically cursed as Scott’s thighs surrounded Logan’s waist keeping Logan pinned down on the mattress beneath him.

“Stunts like what you pulled could’ve gotten us all killed Logan,” Scott chastised him further. There was no mistaking the rage that bubbled beneath the surface of his team member’s words, but with Scott sitting upright on Logan’s abdomen again, Logan found himself at a loss for words. Instead he was focused on Scott reaching out behind where he was seated to wrap his long, slender fingers around Logan’s throbbing manhood. At first contact, Logan froze on the mattress beneath him, at a loss for words when Scott used his skilled caress to bring Logan to a painfully aroused state wondering just what torture Scott had planned out for him for his insubordination.

“You could’ve destroyed everything when you went after Hagan, but you didn’t think about that, did you?” Scott questioned sliding his partially closed fist up and down over Logan’s arousal, slow and determined, skilled and torturous as the scowl that carried over Scott’s plump, parted lips reminded Logan of just how angry Scott was with him.

“I did what I did because…” Logan practically panted when Scott’s grip on his body constricted creating a delicious friction between them. It caused Logan’s hips to bounce up off the mattress, desperately seeking out more stimulation when Scott’s free hand carefully pressed over the center of Logan’s chest to still his movements.

“Impulsive decisions like the one you made could get everyone killed and I can’t have that Logan. I can’t lose you,” Scott warned in a firm, authoritative tone, “Not like that. When we are alone you can question my decisions, but on the battlefield, you need to listen to what I tell you. You have to follow my instructions to the letter or else…”

“Slim I…” Logan frowned preparing to argue when Scott released Logan’s cock, instead placing his warm, wonderfully skilled hand over Logan’s abdomen in a far more chaste position served to remind Logan of what his misbehavior would cost him, “Look I…”

“No, you look,” Scott reached out to touch the side of Logan’s face coaxing Logan to look up at him once again, “Regardless of what you think you need to do in this situation, I have this covered Logan. I will find a way for us to fix this situation with Markus, but for us to come out of this mission successful, you must trust me. You have to trust in my decisions implicitly.”

“I do trust you,” Logan confessed titling his head to the side savoring the way that Scott stroked the side of his face. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, caught up in the intimacy of the moment with Scott holding his cheek, with fingers brushing over Logan’s stubble caught up in a sense of tenderness between them, “but…”

“No buts,” Scott placed his index finger over the center of Logan’s lips to silence him, “you have to trust that I know what I’m doing in this. I know that it is a hard mission, but when the time calls for it, I need to know that when I tell you something that you will obey my command. You have to trust in my decisions.”

“Trusting you isn’t the problem,” Logan sighed impatiently against his lover’s touch when his words came out in a muted garble, “I do trust you.”

“Then start listening to me. I can’t lose you like that,” Scott softened his tone in an uncharacteristic move. He sounded as if he was almost pleading with Logan when Logan reopened his eyes to discover the way that Scott seemed to be watching him behind his glasses, scrutinizing his responses as they fell to silence all over again. When it seemed that Scott was displeased with Logan’s lack of response, he released the side of Logan’s face simply repositioning himself and settling in to sit on Logan’s abdomen once again. With a frown, he spoke up in a low, uncertain tone, “Without trust we don’t have anything Logan.”

“I trust you,” Logan confessed watching as Scott’s face darkened in the dim candlelight that surrounded them, “With everything I am, I trust in you.”

“Then don’t ever pull something like what you did at the warehouse,” Scott warned reaching behind him again to collect Logan’s arousal in his hand. With a neutral expression on his face, Scott began to slide his fingers up and down, gently pumping over Logan’s skin when Logan found himself wishing like hell that he could tear the zip ties off his wrists. Everything inside of him wanted to free himself from their grip but given that Scott had gone to great lengths to restrain Logan in them he knew better than to make such a bold act. Instead he lay submissive beneath Scott watching as Scott’s body shifted over him slow and calculating, drawing out whatever punishment he had in mind for Logan for his insubordination. Against his abdomen, Logan could feel the slow grind of Scott’s hips, could feel the hot, heavy press of Scott’s cock, hard and distended over him, rubbing up against his skin, sliding over Logan’s abdomen with each twist of Scott’s slender hips.

“That wasn’t about trust. It was about keeping you safe at a time when you were in trouble. I was just…” Logan attempted to argue with him once again, but his words fell upon deaf ears when Scott’s hand stroking him to temptation abruptly released Logan again. Unable to contain his frustration Logan groaned outwardly, “What the hell Slim?”

“I need you to promise me that you won’t pull something like you did with Hagan,” Scott leaned forward bringing his palms down flat on the pillow beside Logan’s bound wrists. Logan could see his own reflection in Scott’s red visor, revealing nothing about the eyes of the man above him, but with the involuntary flex of Scott’s jaw, he could see the hunger—could feel the desire practically rolling off of Scott’s skin when Scott leaned forward hovering over Logan’s lips once again in a sharp warning, “You have to promise me Logan.”

“I swore to you once that I would never lie to you,” Logan tipped his head back. He found himself focused on Scott’s lips, on the plump, perfect mouth that he longed to lose himself in time and time again. It was just beyond his reach calling to him like a siren song, but Scott was refusing him access. He was denying Logan the one thing he’d longed for in his anger, but there was something deeper happening between them.

“Then don’t,” Scott reached for Logan’s cheek again. Scott’s breath fell from his lips, hot and urgent when he leaned forward bringing them dangerously close together, “give me what I ask for.”

“If I tell you I won’t act impulsively, then we both know that it would be a lie,” Logan divulged knowing that a compromise simply wasn’t an option for Scott. However, Logan knew full well he wasn’t about to change his ways either no matter how much he respected his team leader. Instead they hit a standstill staring at one another in the heat of the candlelight, naked and on the center of the motel room bed caught up in the calm after the storm. Only unlike the fire that had surrounded them before they’d taken their ill-fated mission to the warehouse, Scott’s rage had ignited something that went well and beyond the slow progress they’d been making with one another.

“You give me what I want,” Scott’s whisper was hot and urgent. His lips parted, mouth sliding in closer yet causing Logan’s heart to plummet inside of his chest. Logan’s throat went dry, his mouth opening, thoughts darkening as he focused on Scott’s mouth knowing full well how much he’d wanted the very thing that Scott would readily deny him in their arrangement with one another should Logan refuse to be cooperative.

“And?” Logan practically panted feeling Scott’s body shift over his, repositioning himself so that his weight was carefully positioned over the sides of Logan’s chest, his lips so very close, yet worlds away when Scott stood firm in his positioning.

“I give you what you want—what you’ve always wanted,” Scott practically slurred. There was a raw hunger burning beneath the surface as his voice was husky and desperate revealing something deeper than the anger that had surrounded Scott’s actions. The very sound of his words revealed his need, urgent and reckless, distanced and determined when Logan prepared to offer up a counter proposal to smooth the waters between them.

“Slim I…” Logan began again preparing to explain his position when Scott dipped forward, sliding his perfect pink tongue past his own parted lips to dip down over Logan’s bottom lip. The quick, teasing flick caused Logan to twist and growl now fully aware of Scott’s methods when Scott’s tongue swept past Logan’s bottom lip, sliding readily into Logan’s mouth in a hot, explicit tease. It was just enough to cause Logan to arch up off of the pillow and make a movement in response, attempting to meet Scott’s tongue with his own in a tantalizing twist, but just as soon as it began Scott pulled back sliding upright to a seated position on Logan’s abdomen once again. His palms flattened out over Logan’s chest, simply rubbing and petting Logan’s skin when Logan found himself hotter than he’d thought possible with Summers over him.

“Promise me that you’ll listen to what I tell you from here on out,” Scott demanded Logan’s compliance all over again. It was a moot point between them, yet Logan found himself refusing to budge on the issue knowing his words would only serve to be a lie to a man he’d respected more than anything.

“I can’t promise you that. I’ll always hear you, but I can’t promise that I’ll listen,” Logan admitted honestly. His face was flushed, his skin bristling with sensation as he watched Scott push his knees into the mattress beside Logan. At first Logan feared that Scott would leave, but as Scott rose up on his knees, Logan watched Scott slide across the bed, reaching for the small bottle he’d left on the nightstand beside the bed, “Slim, I’m just saying that…”

“You’re a very stubborn, inflexible man Logan,” Scott clucked his tongue knowing only too well the torturous weight of his movements over Logan’s abdomen.

With Scott on his knees hovering above Logan, Logan found himself unsettled in the cool air that passed between them. Even though Scott thighs were still surrounding him, the fact that he’d pulled himself up to a kneeling position breaking the contact between them left Logan longing for more. He groaned in frustration, arching his hips up only to feel Scott’s thighs squeeze at his abdomen silently coaxing Logan to remain still on the mattress beneath him. When it seemed that Logan’s impulsiveness proved less than obedient, Scott placed his hand firmly over the center of Logan’s abdomen pinning him down to the mattress again.

“Don’t move,” Scott warned issuing Logan an order that he dared not protest. Instead he lay waiting beneath Scott hoping for a sign that their disagreement could prove to lead into a more productive outcome for them. When it seemed that silence was the only thing that passed between them, Logan found himself growing impatient in Scott’s warning.

“Slim, we both know that I’m impulsive and…” Logan attempted to reason with him.

“Reckless,” Scott added opening the top of the small bottle in his hand. Wordlessly he poured the contents into his palm allowing it to coat his fingers. With a sigh, Scott sat back down over Logan’s abdomen and reached back behind himself to collect Logan’s thick, eager cock in his hand. With his face turned towards Logan, Scott worked his fingers over Logan’s length again, up and down, slow and teasing, firm and unyielding until Scott’s thumb circled over the head of Logan’s arousal causing Logan to snarl with desire.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Logan bit back on the moan building in the back of his throat when Scott elongated the movement drawing it out with a slow, torturous stroke. Logan shifted and Scott hesitated his movements, taking the time to scrutinize Logan’s features. After Logan stopped moving, Scott began again. Taking the time to repeat the process, Logan realized that Scott was teasing him—edging him further towards desire, but just when Scott’s thumb circled the head of Logan’s desire again, Logan found the beast stirring inside of him. He arched his head back letting out a low snarl when his eyes focused on the zip ties keeping his wrists bound.

“So, don’t,” Scott released Logan again. For a moment fear surrounded Logan causing his eyes to snap forward and focus on Scott wondering if Scott had finally lost his patience with Logan’s lack of compliance. Only unlike what he’d anticipated in thinking Scott would walk away, Scott was hovered over him, keeping a distance between them. Shortly after Scott curled his right arm behind his back, carefully repositioning himself so that his now slick fingers could work their way over his own opening undoubtedly preparing himself for a deeper exchange between them. Mesmerized by the freedom that surrounded Scott’s actions, Logan couldn’t help, but tip his head up hoping to seek out a better view when Scott’s fingers worked their way inside of his taut, muscular flesh, simply guiding himself to pleasure with Scott’s right hand while his left returned to his own cock, gently coaxing his body to warm up to the idea of desire all over again.

“Come here Slim,” Logan instructed raising his head up further. His eyes dilated with want, his lips parting further when Scott stopped touching himself.

“Logan,” Scott opened his mouth to say something further, to question Logan’s actions when Logan opened his mouth wider than before. He dragged his tongue out over his bottom lip in a wildly suggestive movement hoping Scott would understand his intention.

“You have to promise me,” Scott arched forward contemplating Logan’s request.

“I can’t,” Logan admitted shamefully watching as Scott settled back over Logan’s abdomen once again with a frown.

“Can’t or won’t?” Scott questioned with a deep scowl and a wrinkle in his brow. Before Logan could answer, Scott dropped the bottle of lubricant over Logan’s abdomen. It bounced off his skin, rolling to the mattress at his side before Scott began to move off Logan.

“Slim, come the fuck on,” Logan practically growled feeling Scott’s impending retreat, “You know as well as I do that if I tell you I’m going to behave neither one of us is going to believe it. You know I’m going to fuck up sooner or later and do something to piss you off so what point is there in…”

Logan’s words ended abruptly when Scott changed directions surprising Logan. With the slow slide of Scott’s hips over him, rising just enough to reposition himself on Logan’s lap, Logan felt Scott reach out behind him again, guiding Logan’s cock to his opening in a surprising movement.

“I know that,” Scott sighed carefully rubbing over Logan’s tip. When Logan’s eyes widened in surprise, Scott placed his hand firmly over Logan’s abdomen, bracing himself to guide Logan inside of him, pushing past the slick muscle, up into the tight heat that Scott’s body provided him. Before Logan could question it, Scott let out a slow sigh, lowering himself down upon Logan in a surprisingly wonderful movement. Shaking his head, Scott arched his body back allowing a low, rumble of a moan to escape his lips when he was seated over Logan’s lap, bottom pressed against Logan’s hips with Logan’s body buried inside of him, “I just wish that you’d be more compliant when the time called for it.”

“You wouldn’t want me to be any other way,” Logan rocked his hips up listening to the sound of Scott’s urgent breaths transforming into a low, guttural moan. Logan’s movement was enough to force Scott to slide forward creating a delightfully, smooth motion between them. With Scott’s hand firmly planted over Logan’s abdomen, he pushed himself down over Logan again taking him all in with a twist of his bottom.

“I just wish…” Scott stopped himself when it was clear that their new arrangement simply wouldn’t allow Logan’s compliance to Scott’s demands. Instead Scott arched his head back, pushing his hands over Logan’s chest. With each buck and twist, Scott lightly scratched his nails over Logan’s body, pushing into his heated flesh and gripping at the damp chest hair before bouncing over Logan again. With each movement he made, Logan watched Scott grow harder, simply enveloping Logan with the wild, reckless twist of Scott’s hips, to the lush squeeze of Scott’s body over Logan’s arousal, up and down, forward and sliding back squeezing Logan’s body with a skilled precision meant with one goal in mind.

“Damn it Slim,” Logan practically roared uncurling his fingers over his head. He grew restless on the mattress pushing his hips up, wanting to sink further into the warmth of his lover at his own pace, calling the shots on their love making, but Scott refused. Instead he pushed his hand over Logan’s chest to still his movements.

“Compromise,” Scott warned releasing Logan’s chest long enough to pull himself up on his knees. Instead of arguing Logan lay still beneath him simply allowing Scott to use him for his own desire, permitting Scott to ride Logan’s cock at his own pace, using Logan to help himself get off in a wildly erotic self-indulgent series of movements set on heightening Scott’s own arousal while simultaneously leaving Logan wanting more. Scott reached out behind him gripping the base of Logan’s manhood, using just enough pressure to prevent Logan from any kind of release from his actions.

“Fuck,” Logan cursed watching as Scott’s skin grew flushed from desire. It was all around them building and expanding leaving Logan unable to ignore the delicious scent of Scott’s perspiration-soaked skin over him, surrounding him and riding him with firm, commanding movements. His actions provided Logan with an enticing visual, his warm bottom providing enough friction to keep Logan in the moment, but the experience lacked the intimacy that they both knew that Logan longed for in their exchange. With Scott’s fingers wrapped around Logan’s base, gently squeezing again, Logan let out an impatient snarl, “I’ll try.”

“What?” Scott questioned releasing the base of Logan’s arousal. He stopped moving long enough to look down at Logan with a scrutinizing expression on his face, “What did you say?”

“I can’t promise I’ll always behave, but I’ll try to…” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth. He squeezed his fingers into fists on the pillows over his head, “I’ll try to at least discuss things with you before rushing into action like I did at the warehouse.”

“Swear to it,” Scott wiggled over Logan once again simply offering up enough of a distraction to have Logan panting and nodding readily.

“I swear,” Logan promised wishing like hell that he could give Scott anything he wanted if for no other reason alone than to be able to indulge in the experience with Scott—to fully embrace their union in all its glory.

“You’re lying,” Scott deduced after giving Logan a long, scrutinizing once over.

“Come the fuck on,” Logan groaned outwardly feeling Scott cease all movement between them, “What the fuck do I have to do to get you to at least let me try?”

“Make me come undone like no one has ever done before and I’ll consider it,” Scott decided leaning forward. He grabbed a thick, chunk of Logan’s hair twisting it in a rough aggressive pull causing Logan to arch his head back. Dipping down closer, Scott’s words came out in a deep, husky tone, “Think you’re up for the challenge?”

“Take these fucking zip ties off of me and I’ll make sure you won’t walk right for a week,” Logan snarled bringing his hands up off the pillow for Scott to fill his request.

“You’re telling me that you need me to release you from those?” Scott smirked pushing up off Logan’s abdomen to begin rocking over Logan’s body once again in a flirty, taunting movement all the while grinding his hips in just the way that drove Logan crazy time and time again, “You’re slipping old man if you think that is how you free yourself.”

“Maybe I was just asking for permission,” Logan arched an inquisitive brow bracing himself for Scott’s response. When Scott nodded, Logan pulled his hands apart effortlessly breaking the zip ties. They snapped with a loud pop sending pieces flying around the motel room, but it was of no consequence as Logan reached out to Scott, gripping his slender waist and forcing Scott’s body down over him all over again. With a bruising grip on Scott’s hips, Logan forced his movements, hot and salacious building in intensity as Scott’s thighs surrounded Logan’s keeping him caged on the mattress beneath them.

“Oh God. That’s it, Logan,” Scott slurred leaning forward and wrenching Logan upright to a seated position. His words were laced with desire when his arms surrounded Logan’s shoulders gripping and squeezing. His fingers traced over Logan’s damp spine, lips centering in over the base of Logan’s throat, nipping and kissing when Logan’s hands surrounded Scott’s rounded bottom. Squeezing and parting Scott’s flesh, Logan pushed Scott upward and pulled him down causing Scott to bounce over him, wild and reckless caught up in the throes of desire until Logan found himself looking up at Scott’s face wishing like hell that they weren’t so far from one another in the moment.

“Do you trust me?” Logan questioned reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face. The movement caused Scott to stiffen, to remind Logan of their earlier agreement before Logan almost died at the warehouse to forego intimacy in their encounters, “Scott?”

“Always,” Scott promised as Logan pulled Scott in closer to him, guiding their mouths together in a sloppy, reckless kiss. For a moment Logan feared that Scott would withdraw from him—that he would sever the connection between them, but instead Scott’s arms squeezed tighter around Logan’s shoulders, gripping him harder. Scott’s lips parted inviting Logan inside to meet him in a violent, explicit kiss, caught up in a tangle of tongues and teeth, each fighting for dominance in the exchange. With a tight grip on Scott’s hips, Logan forced his movements, struggling to keep them connected when Scott’s fingers tugged on Logan’s hair, drinking up the moans from Logan’s mouth with each growing moment their kiss expanded. Hungry for more, Logan put everything into kissing, hoping like hell it would be enough when he used his strength to flip Scott onto the bed beneath him. In a matter of moments Scott’s legs were up over Logan’s shoulders with Logan plummeting inside of him, watching each one of Scott’s reactions when Scott began to shudder and shake, caught up in the first wave of his body’s natural response to Logan’s teasing. With a few more thrusts, Scott’s head was arched back into the pillow, his body trembling as vibrations carried over him causing him to spill himself over his chest and abdomen caught up in the violent pull of his release.

“Scott,” Logan spoke his name commanding Scott’s attention when Logan dipped forward. Brazenly Logan’s lips found their way home again claiming Scott in another wild and reckless kiss knowing full well that they were far from where they were meant to be with one another, but with Scott arching up to him meeting Logan’s desire in matching Logan’s movements Logan found that perhaps there was still hope for something deeper between them after all.

* * *

Guilt tore at Scott’s body, taking him from the warmth of Logan’s arms to the cool linoleum of the tiny motel bathroom floor beneath his feet. Moving as quietly as possible, he reached for the door pushing it to a close while Logan slept on the center of the bed, caught up in his own dreams of desire and a life that Scott knew full well that they would never be able to share with one another. Closing his eyes Scott leaned up against the door, fighting to keep his thoughts neutral when his heart hammered in his chest. Thinking about the way it had felt with Logan over him, touching him—kissing him and whispering sweet words of affection that Scott didn’t deserve, he found his heart sinking knowing that things were beyond Scott’s control. Everything inside of him was broken—damaged in more ways than he could recover from as history was repeating itself in a broken-down motel room far away from the rest of the world. Now as Scott stood in front of a mirror forcing himself to look at the man he’d become, he felt a shudder overtake him. He bit down on his kiss-swelled bottom lip struggling to fight the tears that threatened to reveal themselves after Logan had drifted off to sleep kissing the top of Scott’s head and whispering words of comfort and desire that Scott knew he didn’t deserve. It was in those moments that Scott realized just how cruel and horrible he was—how entirely flawed he was with Logan’s arms wrapped around him promising him a world that went beyond the one they were born into.

“I wish things were different,” Scott sighed lowering his head again. He placed his hands flat on the countertop listening to the clinking sound of his cell phone up against the dirty granite before him. Shaking his head, he found himself thinking about what was expected of him—what he must do in the early morning hours with so many things weighing on his mind.

This battle with Markus was dragging him down, causing him to question things about himself that he’d fought like hell to keep buried deep inside of him. The last week of his life had been an emotional roller coaster on his own, isolated from everything that ever meant anything to him. It was in Logan’s absence that Scott could see himself clearly. Everything inside of him was repulsed by the man he’d become—by the monster he’d truly allowed himself to be as he grudgingly reached for his phone again. Without a word he dialed the familiar number knowing that he could’ve found a much more direct approach, but when the answering machine in Charles Xavier’s office picked up, indicating that his mentor would hear the message the following morning after everything was said and done he knew he’d made the right choice for contact. He waited dutifully for the beep, forcing himself to sound composed, when his mind was anything but in thinking about Logan waiting in bed for him asleep and caught up in the promise of something more between them. It made Scott hate himself even more when he thought of how far he’d fallen from the man he’d once wanted to be. There were so many dreams he’d shut out of his life—so many things that he’d longed for, but he’d thrown them all away in the name of doing what was expected of him. He knew he’d never win a popularity contest, but each day he found it was getting harder to look at himself in the mirror in knowing how far he’d fallen.

_“Logan’s right,”_ he could hear that voice inside of his head tormenting him, _“You are the worst thing that’s ever happened to him.”_

Now as he looked directly at his reflection in the darkened bathroom, he thought of all the promises he’d made—all the things he’d sworn he would give himself if he had a second chance, but with each passing second, he found them fading away. There were so many thoughts running through his mind, so many things he wished he could’ve done or said, but they all came to a halt when Scott heard the familiar message Charles had put on the machine. It was then that everything came into play giving Scott the opportunity to reach out to his mentor.

“It’s done,” Scott spoke up in a robotic tone finding himself met by a sense of impending doom and a horrible bout of déjà vu in knowing that once again he’d lost sight of himself in favor of maintaining Charles Xavier’s dream, “Logan’s not going to be a problem from here on out. I’ve got everything under control.”


	24. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Logan share a quiet morning before they finally face the truth about the secrets that they have been keeping from one another. Will it bring them closer together or finally tear them apart?

**The Truth**

The morning light flooded into the motel room leaving Logan with a sense of ease as his large, oversized bicep was wrapped around Scott’s slender body, curling around the man he’d often dreamt about over his chest. For a moment, familiarity overtook Logan reminding him of that special way that Scott snuggled into him—losing sight of everything else in favor of simply enjoying one another’s company in a less than confrontational setting. For those few moments of solace in one another’s arms, the world was perfect—less threatening as Logan held onto the memory of the man who’d touched his heart in more ways than he’d felt he deserved.

Sliding his fingertips over Scott’s spine, Logan thought about the way that Scott had retreated the night before. He could remember the tension that carried over Scott’s scent—the guilt and self-loathing that had dominated his movements when Logan pretended to be asleep. He could recall seeing Scott through the moonlight moving to retrieve his phone before heading into the bathroom to make a phone call that left him in a far more precarious position than Scott had been in before he’d exited the room. At first Logan had thought to question it, but instead he simply pretended to sleep half expecting Scott to leave as he’d done the last time they’d fallen into one another’s arms. Only this time—this night Scott hadn’t taken that route. Instead he’d simply pushed back the blankets, repositioning himself in bed beside Logan as if the warmth of their connection meant everything to him. Wordlessly, Logan had played his part pretending to be asleep when Scott shook and quietly sobbed against him, trembling in the guilt that had undoubtedly overtaken him in his actions. It was something that Scott was having trouble reconciling, but instead of questioning it, Logan merely held onto him tighter refusing to let go until the trembling died down giving weight to exhaustion as Scott finally found peace in Logan’s arms.

Now as Logan raised his head up, he could see Scott at ease looking more beautiful than ever as he held onto Logan. It was as if peace had finally seized a hold of him, tearing him away from his concerns long enough to just be at one with his heart with Logan’s arms wrapped around him. Unable to resist reaching out to Scott, Logan brought his free hand up touching the side of Scott’s face and lazily pushing a strand of dark hair away from his forehead. For a moment, he felt Scott tense up, undoubtedly awakening with the gesture uncertain on how to respond when Logan’s thumb pushed over the hollow of Scott’s cheekbone. He could sense that Scott was uneasy—that he was uncertain of the weight of what being caught in a moment of vulnerability could mean with Logan’s arms around him. For a second, Logan feared that Scott would jolt away, but instead Scott remained perfectly still revealing nothing about his thoughts in their connection.

“One hell of a night last night, wasn’t it?” Logan couldn’t help, but tease in a hoarse whisper. He massaged the dip in Scott’s spine watching as goosebumps formed over Scott’s flesh. He kept his leg tucked between Logan’s thighs motionless and staying silent when Logan’s touch tapered off over the swell of Scott’s bottom.

“What time is it?” Scott finally questioned behind tired features.

“Early,” Logan replied kissing the top of Scott’s head, “Undoubtedly too early to be awake right now.”

“Then why are you talking to me?” Scott half groaned readjusting his position over Logan’s chest. His fingers stretched out, gently petting the thick, dark hair over Logan’s muscular frame with the involuntary slide of movement they made.

“Just trying to make sure I’m not dreaming I guess,” Logan divulged cupping Scott’s bottom in his hand. He offered up a light squeeze, causing Scott to twist further into him, rubbing his relaxed form against Logan’s thigh. The brush of the skin to skin contact sent sparks of electricity between them reminding Logan of just how good Summers felt naked and against him. Smiling, he squeezed at Scott’s bottom again in a playful movement hoping to ignite a response in his lover.

“Logan, I’m tired…” Scott groaned outwardly. He rubbed his hand over Logan’s chest and abdomen massaging him in a slow, leisurely press.

“So, go back to sleep,” Logan suggested sliding his index finger over the curve of Scott’s bottom coming dangerously close to pushing their boundaries with one another.

“Stop teasing me and I will,” Scott sighed pushing his hand down further until his hand rested over Logan’s hip. He offered up a small squeeze, curling his leg into Logan’s thigh when a yawn spilled over his lips. At first Logan expected Scott to fall back to sleep, but there was something burning beneath the surface in Scott—a slow building spark that intensified with the slow, grinding rotation of Scott’s hips against Logan’s muscular thigh, blatantly taunting Logan with the heat of their skin to skin contact.

“You’re the tease,” Logan squeezed at Scott’s toned, muscular bottom again, unable to resist giving in to temptation as Scott’s body melded to the touch. He reached out to stroke the side of Scott’s face with his left hand, coaxing Scott’s chin up until their lips were dangerously close to one another.

Without warning Logan inched forward slowly sliding their lips together in a tentative brush all the while gauging himself for Scott’s reaction. When it appeared that Scott hadn’t thought to resist, Logan pushed the kiss on further sliding his tongue between Scott’s now parted lips only to find himself met by the faint taste of mint and the delicious flavor of Summers wrapped into one delectable kiss. As their tongues darted and teased against one another Logan was met by the urgency of Scott’s desire, enveloping Logan in the warmth of his mouth. With a playful nip and a skilled sweep of his tongue, Logan found himself on sensory overload as Scott matched his movements moaning into the kiss they shared. Hungrily Scott’s arm jolted up over the rumbled bedsheet, sliding past the wrinkled pillow and reaching out to wrap around Logan’s shoulder in a tight grip. Pushing forward, Scott rolled into Logan, mouth meeting Logan’s with a newfound urgency, wrapped up in wild desire and burning hunger as their tongues coiled in urgency, bodies pressed against one another in wild abandon.

Before Logan knew it, he was on his back with Scott grinding over him, kissing him as if everything in the world ceased to exist beyond their kiss. Scott’s plump lips parted further as he practically whimpered in urgency. His fingers tangled into Logan’s wild hair, twisting it in his skilled digits, gripping and commanding as he rocked over Logan’s body, rubbing his smooth skin over Logan’s hair dusted chest and abdomen to ignite the fire burning beneath the surface. Reaching down to grab Scott’s hips and seize control of their movements, Logan held Scott over him simply enjoying this surprising round of kissing that had sprung about between them. With taste after tantalizing taste, Logan found himself falling deeper caught up in the memory of a man that time had stolen from him years ago.

“You’re insatiable,” Scott slurred finally pulling back to gaze down at Logan.

Pensively Scott tipped his head to the side, simply taking in all of Logan’s features, scrutinizing each line of his face and jawline. Finally, he reached out to stroke Logan’s cheek before leaning in to chart a path over Logan’s skin touching the rough hairline over his chin. With a smile, Scott leaned forward licking a warm, wet, savory line over the center of Logan’s bottom lip. Almost immediately Logan’s lips parted with want, mouth inviting Scott inside readily without question. His hands clutched at Scott’s hips coaxing Scott to grind over him, lazily back and forth, sliding forward and twisting to the side at a leisurely pace until Logan’s palms were pressing at Scott’s bottom, squeezing and persistent, wrapping around the firm flesh until he flipped Scott back onto the mattress again with a low growl.

“Logan?” Scott questioned from his new position beneath Logan. His damp lips were parted, his sexy features flushed as a result of their earlier make out session. With a labored breath and a racing pulse, Scott reached for Logan again struggling to guide Logan over him—into him with a kiss, but as Logan pressed his index finger over the center of Scott’s kiss-swelled lips, he couldn’t help, but shake his head in refusal. Instead Logan revealed a sly smirk down at his new lover.

“Just enjoy this,” Logan whispered warmly, allowing his breath to barely skim over the surface of Scott’s cherry colored lips. Wordlessly Logan placed tiny butterfly kisses over Scott’s structured jawline, up over his high cheekbone, cupping Scott’s face in his large hands until leaning forward to press a kiss over Scott’s forehead. When Scott whimpered and arched up towards him Logan lightly kissed the tip of Scott’s nose. He charted a path to Scott’s untouched cheekbone, flicking his tongue out against Scott’s heated skin in a playful gesture before taking a quick nip of Scott’s bottom lip.

“Logan…” Scott huskily breathed his name. His fingers gripped at the contours of Logan’s muscled back, coaxing him in closer when Scott’s thighs parted to invite Logan to slide within the warm flesh and make himself more comfortable over Scott’s slender frame. With a whimper Scott reached for Logan again attempting to bring them together in a kiss, but Logan shook his head in refusal. The gesture caused Scott’s lower lip to curve into an involuntary pout, no doubt a reveal about his urgency he wouldn’t dream of offering had he been fully awake and aware of just how much he was offering to Logan in their exchange.

“Patience,” Logan whispered kissing the side of Scott’s neck in a slow, tender press that caused Scott to whine in objection gripping Logan harder as if to request Logan’s lips over his again.

Undeterred in his plans, Logan dipped down depositing a series of mischievous kisses over Scott’s shoulder. His lips and tongue traced over Scott’s collar bone, dipping down over his breastbone, charting a path upon the muscular lines of Scott’s chest until finally Logan repositioned himself over Scott’s abdomen. Looking up again, Logan could feel the weight of Scott’s eyes upon him from behind his glasses, could see the moment of desire and urgency that had overtaken all other thoughts that carried over Scott. In that brief, flickering second of unadulterated desire, Logan knew that Scott was his and his alone. His body was Logan’s for the taking, his mind caught up in the idea of Logan’s seduction and Logan knew enough to make the most of it. Bringing one hand up over the smooth, muscular planes of Scott’s chest, Logan reached out, massaging Scott’s silken skin, gripping and teasing at warm flesh only to be fueled by Scott’s soft moans of desire. When Logan’s kisses traveled over a southern path, reaching their destination between Scott’s thighs Scott urgently cried out, shifting on the mattress beneath Logan with a whimper and a muted pleading sound falling from his lips.

“Play nice,” Scott practically choked on the subdued words, revealing his urgency when Logan’s hot breath skimmed over his flesh.

“Maybe I don’t feel like it,” Logan taunted opening his mouth and sucking down over Scott’s hip, pressing his lips over Scott’s skin just enough to leave a mark. The sensation caused Scott to coil and twist, pushing his hips off the mattress into Logan when Logan’s tongue flicked at Scott’s pleading skin, imprinting himself on Scott’s flesh.

“You’re going to torture me, aren’t you?” Scott questioned thoughtlessly guiding his fingers over Logan’s shoulder. He rubbed his palm between Logan’s shoulders, attempting to goad him on further when Logan reached for Scott’s wrist preventing Scott from touching him.

“My rules Slim,” Logan ordered pushing up on his elbows to see the way that Scott was watching him. When it was clear that Scott was struggling for control, Logan stretched his arm out, taking Scott’s wrist with him to position it over Logan’s pillow on the side of the bed. It caused Scott to twist, arching up off his own pillow to seek out Logan’s lips in a desperate attempt at a kiss when Logan hovered over him doing his best to keep himself under considerable restraint. When Scott’s lips parted further attempting to invite Logan inside, he found his control slipping. Sighing, he dipped down to offer up a quick kiss knowing full well it hadn’t been enough for either one of them as he reluctantly pulled back.

“Don’t make me spank you,” Logan warned pressing his index finger over the center of Scott’s lips. He pushed his thumb over Scott’s top lip, watching Scott’s mouth open to invite Logan’s finger within the warmth, to deposit the tip just beyond Scott’s parted lips to take in the raw, urgent heat of Scott’s tongue curling against his touch.

“Hmm…I might like that,” Scott revealed turning a deep crimson shade as he nipped on the tip of Logan’s finger, offering up an uncharacteristic growl hoping to entice Logan with his words.

“Then I’ll be sure to try it later,” Logan promised with a wide grin, “but first…”

“Logan,” Scott practically pouted when Logan’s touch fell away from his lips.

Grinning Logan pushed himself up on his elbows working his way over Scott’s body in the slow teasing kisses beginning from his shoulder all over again. He took his time, tracing the contours of Scott’s body with his lips, tongue and teeth knowing what the leisurely pace was doing to Scott’s waning patience. However, Logan wasn’t about to be deterred in his plan to savor the morning between them. With a teasing brush of Logan’s stubble over Scott’s inner thigh, he felt his lover twist, tickled by the movement as Logan couldn’t help, but smirk.

“I didn’t realize you were ticklish,” Logan teased pressing a kiss below Scott’s naval watching as Scott twisted on the mattress once again.

“I’m not…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip in the midst of a squirm when Logan repeated the movement causing Scott to twist recklessly, “much.”

“We’ll see about that,” Logan decided reaching for Scott’s thigh in his large palm. He squeezed at it feeling the warmth of Scott’s muscled flesh meld to his touch, offering up total compliance. Smiling Logan pushed Scott’s thigh up, easily hooking it around his shoulder before the other followed suit.

“Logan,” Scott practically panted in realization, raising his head up to watch as Logan’s palms pushed underneath Scott’s slender form to grip at his firm, waiting bottom. With another nip on Scott’s hip, Logan began gently kneading and caressing Scott’s bottom, coaxing Scott to arch up towards him. With a whimper, Scott did as he was instructed, giving Logan complete control when Logan’s lips dipped forward pressing a hot, damp kiss over the base of Scott’s arousal.

“You don’t take the time to ever truly indulge in desire Slim,” Logan’s words vibrated over Scott’s skin causing him to twist on the mattress once again.

When it seemed that Scott was caught up in the sudden realization of just how free he’d allowed himself to be, Scott reached down gripping at Logan’s hair once again in what Logan suspected was an attempt to bring reason to their situation. However, it was lost as Logan dipped forward taking Scott’s manhood between his lips in a damp, urgent movement meant on stealing reason from his usually uptight lover. His tongue teased over Scott’s swollen length, hands forcefully pulling Scott up towards his mouth, coaxing Scott’s body to thrust forward into him, sliding deeper into the warmth of Logan’s mouth. Without any prompting Scott moaned urgently, his fingers once meant to stop their union were now gripping at Logan’s wild, unruly hair, attempting to guide his movements when sensation coiled over his body.

“Patience,” Logan slurred in between licks and suctioning knowing only too well that he could easily spend hours on end edging Scott just to watch him beg—to make him plead for reprieve as it was clear that Scott needed to be tantalized and teased. In a series of strokes and flicks of Logan’s tongue, he felt Scott grow harder, caught up in the weight of his desire as Logan brought him closer to a release. With a tiny sob it was clear that Scott was teetering on the edge, so close to giving in, but Logan held back refusing to give Scott the one thing he’d craved and needed. Without warning Logan pulled back raising his head up just enough to observe Scott on the mattress writhing and moaning in his new position at Logan’s mercy. Without thought, Scott’s free hand pushed up between his lips causing him to bite down on the fist that he’d curved into his mouth at Logan’s teasing. Smiling, Logan dipped down again resuming in his torment, taking his time to please Scott, working him to a frenzied state of desire caught up in his most primitive urgings until finally Logan felt Scott squirming again beneath him practically begging for a release.

“Logan please. I’m so close…I’m so…so…close,” Scott reached out for him again, touching the side of Logan’s face as it was clear Scott’s sense of reason had left him. Instead he was a ball of nerves and desire coiling into the mattress and begging for something that he hadn’t truly given himself over to as much as Logan suspected he should have.

“I want you,” Logan practically purred guiding Scott’s leg off his shoulder in favor of feeding the lustful beast inside of him. Instead with Scott’s urgent request for release, Logan let out a low growl, his body hard and ready, distended and urgent for the kind of release that a life without Scott at his side had denied him for longer than he cared to admit to. Now, with Scott beneath him, on edge and desperate for more with his body begging for a release, Logan found himself on sensory overload ready and willing to do everything in his power to help them both get off in every way imaginable. With a snarl Logan pushed up on his elbows over Scott, using his thick, powerful fingers to grip at Scott’s thighs, guiding Scott’s thighs high up around his thick waist to accommodate himself between them. With the rough tug of Logan’s movement Scott shifted over the mattress, body bouncing against the sheet when Logan reached out for the bottle on the nightstand that Scott had positioned there the night before.

With a few adjustments and ample time to prepare, Logan found himself buried to the hilt inside of Scott watching as Scott arched his head back. His lips were parted, his breath wild and uneven as his neatly trimmed nails gripped at Logan’s shoulders.

“Look at me,” Logan ordered pushing his hand up and over Scott’s chest. When it seemed that Scott was ignoring his request, caught up in his own pleasure, Logan’s fingers gripped at the base of Scott’s throat demanding his attention. With the curl of his fingers over Scott’s throat, Logan’s hips rocked over Scott’s sliding in and out of Scott’s body in a deliberately slow thrust when Scott shuddered with urgency.

“Logan,” Scott spoke his name freezing in the moment as Logan’s hand pressed into the soft, hollow flesh of his throat. Saying nothing, Scott placed his own fingers over Logan’s wrist, guiding Logan’s hand up higher over his throat, coaxing him to squeeze tighter. Instinctively Logan’s body found a slow rhythm working himself inside of Scott’s warmth, surrounded by it, caught up in absolutely everything that the world he’d come from had denied him. With each thrust, Scott squeezed at Logan’s wrist, silently pleading for him to constrict his fingers over Scott’s throat, tighter than before, coming dangerously close to the violence that had often surrounded their other encounters. With each movement, Scott moaned, fingers gripping at Logan’s wrist tighter, silently begging Logan to push his limits, to keep holding onto him while Logan’s body moved faster, more urgent and reckless with Scott’s thighs around him, hard and violent, refusing to ease up on their grip.

“Slim,” Logan breathed feeling Scott’s fingers dig into his wrist forcing Logan’s hand against his throat tighter than before. Looking down, Logan could see the imprint of his fingers into Scott’s flesh, could feel the urgency in Scott’s thighs wrapped around him, but just when Logan feared it was too much—that he was going too far, pushing himself into Scott with animalistic urgency, he heard Scott cry out, gasping for air. It was then that Logan felt Scott give way to his orgasm finally releasing Logan’s wrist in favor of raking his nails down over Logan’s spine with each involuntary, jutting series of release his body made. The sight was enough to cause Logan to move faster, to force himself along further until finally he gave himself to instinct lost inside of his dream come true at long last.

* * *

“What’s changed?” Scott questioned breaking the easy silence between them. Long after their love making had come to an end, the winds kicked up outside their motel room indicating the storm was raging out of control now. They were both still together, but worlds apart as it seemed something was lingering in the air between them. It went without saying as Scott began gently massaging Logan’s chest struggling to keep the connection between them. Despite the heavy winds outside sunlight slowly filtered into the room as they lay together on the center of the motel room bed caught up in quiet contemplation. With Logan’s arm wrapped around him, Scott let out a long sigh, keeping his eyes closed behind his glasses, “Why are you different Logan?”

“What do you mean?” Logan questioned lazily trailing his fingers over the shallow curve of Scott’s hip, dipping down into the indent with a sigh. He could see the tiny red mark he’d left behind when he’d teased Scott earlier. Now it served as Logan’s mark upon Scott, claiming ownership of the man he’d found himself hoping like hell he’d never have to be without.

“You know what I mean,” Scott replied disapprovingly indicating that whatever peace they’d found in the morning was about to dissipate after the weight of reality began to creep in upon them in their peaceful surroundings, “You said to me not that long ago that you were different. That you weren’t the same anymore. Why is that?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Logan confessed gently massaging Scott’s damp skin knowing only too well that the dream had kept him holding on for so long, but that after all he’d experienced with this Scott in this new world Logan still owed him the truth.

Logan’s own desire had been satiated, but now as the morning slowly rose outside of the motel room causing the frigid conditions of the winter morning to steal their quiet moment of reprieve from them, Logan found himself falling even harder for the man beside him despite knowing what he stood to lose in telling the truth. They’d already been through so much together teetering on the edge of extinction. They had both pushed too hard, held on too tight to the secrets that they’d felt they needed to keep from one another. It was clear to Logan last night that both he and Scott had been holding back on one another. To some degree he’d expected it given the nature of their relationship, yet Logan knew full well that one day this moment would come. He’d been trying to prepare himself for it and it seemed after Logan had made a recovery that fate had offered them a second chance to get things right. Only to truly be worthy of that chance, Logan knew he would have to be honest with his heart and the man in his arms whether he wanted to be or not.

“Try me,” Scott urged him on again with a light brush of his index finger over Logan’s nipple long after desire had passed between them.

“It sounds crazy in my head, so I can only imagine how preposterous it will sound hearing it,” Logan sighed thinking about the life he’d put behind him. Drawing in a nervous breath, he looked to Scott again with a worried expression on his face, “Are you sure this is the right time?”

“No, but maybe that’s why we need to talk about it,” Scott suggested squeezing Logan in closer to him.

“So, you…” Logan arched his head up off the pillow to eye Scott suspiciously, “want to talk? Like talk-talk?”

“Sure,” Scott nodded in quiet contemplation, “It only feels appropriate after last night.”

“I suppose it does, but…” Logan trailed off unable to mask his apprehension.

“We’re only weakening our alliance in pushing this off,” Scott confessed as a warm, crimson color carried over his cheeks. He was nervous, undoubtedly afraid of what the conversation would hold in store for them, but he still pressed on, “So much has happened Logan, but I just can’t stop thinking about what you said before you were hurt. Even last night after we were…together…”

“I know. I felt it too. It was there in the room between us filling the void,” Logan replied stroking the center of Scott’s spine, “We were both holding back.”

“How could you tell?” Scott let out an ironic laugh all the while curling in closer to Logan.

“Because I know you. Plus I think we’ve both been doing this dance around what’s happening since you followed me to that club seeking out answers,” Logan asserted thinking about how the road he’d traveled had led them to this place in one another’s arms, far from the rest of the world, yet still miles from each other in their bed, “I think that Markus has served up a distraction, but we both knew that sooner or later it would get back to this again, didn’t we?”

“It was an inevitable conclusion,” Scott sighed. The warmth of his breath cascaded over Logan’s chest causing Logan’s thoughts to return to the passion and intensity that they had shared with one another since Logan’s arrival in this new world.

“What happened when I was under Slim?” Logan questioned contemplating the potential weight of his words, “What did Markus do to make you so afraid?”

“That’s not important right now,” Scott answered readily, as if the words came easy when they fell from his lips. For a second, he seemed to consider his words before speaking up again, “We can talk about what happened after the warehouse attack, but right now I think we need to center this on what’s really going on here with us.”

“You mean as in you and I opening the door to a real conversation between us?” Logan arched a scrutinizing brow, “No bullshit?”

“No bullshit,” Scott agreed with a small, tentative nod though Logan could sense that he too was afraid of what the truth might hold in store for them, “We’ve played that game with one another long enough, don’t you think?”

“I suppose we have,” Logan replied somberly. He curled his arm tighter around Scott’s waist, forcing Scott in tighter against him, “I’m just afraid that the truth will make me look certifiable. I’m not going to lie. It’s going to sound crazy Slim.”

“As does this considering our history with one another, yet somehow here we are,” Scott mused laying his head over the center of Logan’s chest, “like this—together.”

“It does seem pretty out of this world to have you in my arms again, holding you, touching you, keeping you against me just like this,” Logan agreed reaching for Scott’s hand. Raising it up to his lips, Logan pressed a kiss over Scott’s fingers suddenly aware of the golden band that still lingered upon Scott’s finger. It served as a reminder of the things that they still hadn’t touched upon with one another when Logan found himself thinking back to the nightmare of Jean admonishing the old him for putting Scott in harm’s way. There was no doubt a long, troubled history there between the three of them that was vastly different than the one Logan had experienced in his old life, yet even in knowing what Scott’s obligation meant to their future, Logan was hesitant to let go of the dream that he’d captured in this life.

With a sigh, he released Scott’s fingers opting instead to sink back into the pillow when the weight of their actions carried over him.

“Logan?” Scott questioned raising his head up to look down at Logan again, “What is it?”

“Who did you call last night?” Logan couldn’t help, but question as he forced himself to forget about Scott’s wedding ring and his own nightmares long enough to look to his lover with curious eyes, “Who were you talking to?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Scott’s words were shaky at best when he looked away from Logan. There was tension in his body, coiling out from within and the longer Logan looked at Scott, the more Logan realized that he’d struck a nerve asking a question he was certain that Scott hadn’t been wanting to answer. Instead of answering, Scott’s movements were uneasy, his words evasive when he bit down on his bottom lip, attempting to keep it together, but they both knew better.

“Was it Jeanie?” Logan questioned finding himself focused on Scott’s wedding ring once again.

“No,” Scott answered after a long hesitation, “it wasn’t.”

“Honestly?” Logan asked prompting him further.

“I swear to you I didn’t call Jean,” Scott vowed as a moment of relief carried over Logan in knowing Scott hadn’t reached out to his estranged wife. Logan knew the thought had been selfish and greedy in its own way undoubtedly serving to feed into his own purposes in this world, but he didn’t care. After almost losing his life and coming close to being away from Scott all over again he found comfort in knowing that Scott had been only his during the previous evening.

“Was it Hank?” Logan questioned again knowing only too well how shaken Scott had been when he’d slipped out of bed, making his way into the bathroom to make the mystery call. He’d been secretive and upset in his return leading Logan to question what the caller had said on the other end of the line, “Did he give you bad news about all of this?”

“No,” Scott shook his head simply, “but at the same time I have been having him do some testing to see if we can fix what’s been going on with Euphoria’s attack on your system.”

“I figured as much when you were sneaking off to meet with him that morning before we set off on the mission,” Logan noted taking in the chain of events that had led them to this point with one another, “Given how somber you seemed in your return, I imagine that wasn’t the only thing that the both of you had discussed where I was concerned.”

“It wasn’t,” Scott paused seemingly caught up in another round of thoughts, “The truth is that Hank and I talked about a lot that morning over breakfast.”

“I assumed so,” Logan answered contemplating his words before speaking up in a soft, calming tone, “You know it’s alright to talk about this thing between us if you need to. If you felt that you needed to seek Hank’s guidance…”

“I’m not even sure what all of this is,” Scott divulged quietly. He shifted in Logan’s arms stiffening as Logan’s fingertips massaged his spine gently.

“What do you mean?” Logan questioned curling his arm tighter around Scott, “I think it’s pretty clear what is happening here.”

“There’s just so much that was happening between Markus and the mission and…” Scott hesitated before speaking up in a raw, broken tone, “This past week when you were in the hospital everything inside of me was in turmoil fearing that we wouldn’t ever be able to share anything like this ever again. Just the thought of losing you…”

“What?”

“It scared me Logan,” Scott confessed quietly. He brushed his fingers over the center of Logan’s chest seemingly struggling for his words in their dark contemplations, “It made me start thinking things…”

“What kind of things?” Logan asked when Scott held onto Logan tighter than before.

“I’ve been facing a lot of reflection about the choices and decisions I’ve made through the years,” Scott’s voice grew quieter, as if he was afraid to speak the words that were weighing upon his mind, “I’ve never felt that way before in my life. Granted I know you and I have been through things that were almost…worse, but this…with the way things are now…”

“Slim?” Logan questioned raising his head up just enough to gaze down at his lover tensing up in his arms.

“When I think about what it felt like watching you slipping away…having your heart in my hands and not being able to stop what was going on…” Scott hesitated, clearly uncertain of what he should reveal to Logan as they lay together tangled in the bed with one another, “It just felt so surreal and then when I thought I’d lost you…”

“Slim, hey…”

“There’s so much more we stand to lose this time around,” Scott’s voice was distant when it was clear that his mind was taking him back to a dark place that Logan was certain he knew nothing about. Staying silent Logan brushed his index finger over the dip in Scott’s spine, simply holding onto him in a loving embrace. Bringing his head up, Logan pressed a kiss over the top of Scott’s head before Scott continued to speak somberly, “You have every reason in the world to want to leave me, yet here you are. I don’t understand why.”

“That’s because I’ve got nowhere else to be,” Logan teased attempting to bring a light humor into the situation when Scott pushed up on his elbows. He gazed down at Logan behind his glasses with a somber expression that somehow darkened Scott’s handsome features. Reaching out Logan touched the side of Scott’s face and sighed, “Slim, I’m joking. What is it?”

“I told myself that this would be better if I could stop being selfish—that I could just accept things as they were after you walked away, but as hard as that was for me it paled in comparison to the thought that I could lose you forever like that all because I hadn’t been strong enough to keep you from trying to save me. When Hagan attacked you, I felt like it was happening all over again—that we were back in Canada again where I was unable to reach out and save you in your darkest hour. All of those memories I kept locked inside of me came rushing back to me and it did something to me Logan,” Scott sighed leaning into Logan’s touch.

“This isn’t Canada, Slim,” Logan promised cupping Scott’s cheek in his palm, “I know that there were some things from that time that were pushed upon us that we would be better off putting behind us, but we aren’t who we were back then. We aren’t in that place where everything was that nightmare.”

“No, we’re in something far worse all because of my inability to just do the right thing,” Scott chastised himself. He twisted over Logan attempting to pull himself away when Logan’s left arm curled tightly around Scott’s waist to keep him in position over Logan.

“No Slim. We aren’t. Don’t you know by now that I’d do anything to make sure that you were safe?” Logan questioned pressing his index finger over Scott’s plump, parted lips. With the slow slide of his thumb, Scott’s body trembled, his lips parting further to reveal the hard rush of breath Logan had pulled from deep within, forcing Scott to face the one thing he had been holding back on for so very long.

“I called Charles last night,” Scott’s face grew a pale shade of crimson in his admission, “He wanted me to check in and update him on how things were going with you.”

“Hank talked huh?” Logan questioned knowingly.

“Only after you were in the hospital fighting for your life,” Scott divulged quietly when it seemed that the weight of the world was hanging over him, creating a dark cloud over his thoughts, “and even at that I only shared what he needed to know about the situation.”

“That I fucked up?” Logan arched a curious brow when Scott silently shook his head.

“He knows that you and I have some issues to work out that go beyond you almost dying,” Scott seemed distanced by the questioning, “This is something that…”

“Slim, if this is about Canada,” Logan began hesitating as his chilling nightmares returned to the surface, bringing forth a garbled sense of understanding in knowing the pain that Scott, Clint and the other him had endured on the mission he’d dreamt about, “If this is because of what happened back then…”

“It isn’t. It’s about something much worse,” Scott divulged guiltily. After a moment of quiet contemplation, he attempted to move off Logan’s chest only to have Logan’s arms surround him tighter than before keeping him in place.

“Not so fast,” Logan shook his head firmly, “You don’t have to pull away from me.”

“Trust me,” Scott’s face was clouded by something Logan couldn’t quite read, “I do.”

“No,” Logan touched the side of his face to command Scott’s full attention, “you don’t. Truth be told I wish you wouldn’t walk away. At least not yet.”

“Staying here is just going to complicate things,” Scott’s voice spoke of the uncertainty he was undoubtedly experiencing, but his body remained motionless over Logan, still caught up in the aftermath of their desire for one another.

“Not that long ago I told you that I’m looking for a new complication in my life,” Logan brushed his fingers over the side of Scott’s face, offering up the lightest of touches in his movement.

“Not like this you don’t,” Scott shook his head adamantly, “You told me that you wanted peace in your life and a better man would honor that.”

“What I want,” Logan’s words came out with heavy emphasis as his fingers eased into Scott’s messy, dark hair, “is this to keep happening with you.”

“Only because you don’t know the truth behind all of this,” Scott finally pulled away from him, caught up in a moment of what Logan assumed was self-loathing. With a groan Scott abruptly sat up pushing his hands through his tousled brown hair all the while seemingly attempting to ground himself in their conversation with one another, “If you did, then we wouldn’t be here right now. You would walk out that door and never look back.”

“Try me,” Logan sat upright after Scott’s departure off Logan’s chest. He reached out to touch Scott’s shoulder, gently squeezing over it when his concerns mounted, “Why do you think I would leave?”

“Because you did before,” Scott tipped his head to the side when it was clear that guilt was hanging over him, causing him to shut down right before Logan’s very eyes. It was something that Scott was good at, but as Logan squeezed Scott’s shoulder again, he felt Scott’s body tighten against the touch, “You left in Boston after…”

“After what?” Logan questioned watching Scott pull further away from him. With another small shudder, Scott reached up to place his hand over Logan’s on his shoulder hesitating only momentarily before guiding Logan’s hand back down to the mattress away from his guilty skin.

“I’m not who you think I am Logan,” Scott answered remorsefully, “Everything that I’ve done for the last couple of months has been because I’m out of control and…”

“Join the club,” Logan watched as Scott moved out of the bed desperate to work through his thoughts. He began pacing the room naked and caught up in something Logan couldn’t quite read, “Look at me Slim. I haven’t been myself for quite some time.”

“Which is undoubtedly my fault,” Scott threw his hands up in the air when his face seemed clouded by something Logan couldn’t quite understand, “If I hadn’t been such an asshole back in Boston, then…”

“Whoa Slim,” Logan rubbed the top of his own head and tried to piece his thoughts together, “this isn’t about what happened in Boston. None of what has happened between us since you found me in that club has been about Boston.”

“Isn’t it?” Scott questioned ceasing pacing long enough to place his hands on his hips and look down at Logan in the bed, “Isn’t that what all of this is about?”

“No,” Logan shook his head adamantly, “This is about the two of us both wanting one another in ways that we can’t ignore.”

“We shouldn’t be doing this Logan,” Scott motioned between the two of them, “Everything about this is wrong and…”

“I don’t care,” Logan decided throwing the blankets off his legs. He rushed out of bed moving in towards Scott again, “I realize how awful that sounds especially where Jeanie is concerned, but as it stands you mean something to me and…”

“Why?” Scott questioned with a wounded expression on his face, “After everything I’ve said—everything I’ve done…how can you even consider me as someone worth fighting for?”

“Because I care about you,” Logan reached out to cup Scott’s hands in his face, “I’ve always cared about you Slim and…”

“You shouldn’t,” Scott argued pulling out of his embrace, “I’m cruel and horrible and…”

“No, you aren’t,” Logan insisted in an impassioned tone, “You might try to hide how you feel, but deep down you know you care about me too. Deep down you might even love me like I love you.”

“Love me?” Scott repeated finally taking the time to give Logan a long, complete once over. When it seemed that nothing came out of his assessment Logan moved forward attempting to reach out to Scott again only to watch Scott bring his arms up in the air to place a distance between them. The wheels seemed to be turning in his head, spinning with the conflict that Logan realized he hadn’t even gotten close to touching inside of his lover. It was there building and expanding until finally Scott’s jaw flexed with tension, “Don’t. Stay back.”

“Scott?” Logan questioned watching him closely, “What’s going on?”

“Who are you?” Scott finally asked behind trembling hands, “You say that you’re Logan—hell, Hank says that you’re you, but not that long ago you said you were different. You tried to tell me that something changed, but I refused to hear it. I wasn’t listening, but I’m listening now Logan. How are you different?”

“Slim I…” Logan softened his tone seeing that Scott was caught up in something that had taken place long before Logan had entered this world.

“Please Logan,” Scott’s lower lip quivered with an uncharacteristic display of emotion, “You told me that you are different. Tell me how.”

“It won’t make sense to you right now. Not when…”

“You telling me you love me doesn’t make sense to me because after everything I’ve done, the only thing you could possibly feel for me is contempt,” Scott answered raising his voice with uncertainty, “Even after the ups and downs we’ve experienced through the years, the one thing I was certain of was that I lost you. I threw away my one chance at having happiness with you long ago and this…this by all logic shouldn’t be happening. Even with what we just went through together the Logan I know hates me with good reason for what I did to him in Boston. He’s disgusted by what I am and the last thing he would do is make a declaration of love so casually given how far I went to betray him.”

“Slim?” Logan reached out for Scott once again only to watch Scott wrap his arms around his naked torso, holding himself tightly when the weight of his emotions took control of him.

“Who are you?” Scott questioned again with a greater determination in his voice, “Because you aren’t him, are you?”

“Scott I…” Logan’s heart raced in his chest feeling as if the room was starting to spin around him. The walls were closing in upon him, but as Scott’s demands great more intense, Logan found that he was out of time.

“Tell me!”

“I’m me,” Logan finally decided taking a step back and giving Scott some space, “but I’m not.”

“Explain,” Scott held firm in his position keeping a distance between them.

With a sigh Logan stepped backward dropping down to the edge of the bed. He sat down thinking about all that had transpired between them. It felt like a lifetime ago, but now as Scott held himself, keeping himself closed off in his posture, Logan found there was no more escaping from the truth.

“I’m not from your world,” Logan blurted out knowing full well that he would seem certifiable to the man before him. With an ache in his chest, he lowered his head somberly and let out a long sigh, “I’m from a place where fate dealt us a much dirtier hand.”

“I don’t…” Scott stammered making no attempt to move in closer to Logan, “I don’t understand.”

“How could you?” Logan raised his chin up to look at Scott again. Before him, he could see just how vulnerable Scott looked naked and fighting the chill in the air in the room between them. Patting his hand over the mattress, he nodded to Scott again, “Why don’t you sit down?”

“I think it would be easier if I stood here,” Scott shook his head in refusal.

“At least grab yourself a blanket so you don’t freeze,” Logan suggested once again.

“I’m fine over here,” Scott argued with a deep scowl.

“Suit yourself,” Logan sighed shaking his head at Scott’s stubborn side. Taking in a breath, he found himself facing a pivotal moment in reaching out to the man that he’d fought to have back in his new life, “The truth is that I’m from another world Scott. I’m from a place that no longer exists because I went back in time and worked it out of existence.”

“I’m not following,” Scott replied undoubtedly scrutinizing Logan’s actions and thinking him out of his mind completely if he had any sense about him.

“The world I’m from,” Logan drew in a nervous breath. Bringing his hand up through his dark hair, he contemplated the impact of his words, “I lived in a world where everything fell to shit. Everything around me gave way to destruction until we had no choice, but to find a way to change things. In order to save the future, we had to find a way to change the past before…”

“Before what?”

“Charles sent me back to 1973,” Logan recounted unable to hold back onto his secret much longer. Effortlessly the truth began to spill from his lips in recounting how he’d come from a post-apocalyptic world where mutants were on the verge of extinction. He detailed how in that moment when everything was at its worst that he had gone back to prevent a tragedy that would undoubtedly impact the future only in his travels he’d gotten lost along the way.

“So, you’re saying that you were transported in time to erase a disaster before it could happen and in doing so you changed your reality transforming it into this one,” Scott summed up his words as Logan found himself simply nodding.

“I know it sounds crazy, but…” Logan attempted to appeal to him once again.

“And Charles knows about this?” Scott questioned watching him with intense scrutiny, “He’s aware of the fact that you believe you’re from another world where…”

“Chuck knew all about what I was doing. When I went back in time I showed him my future—I let him see the world I came from, which is why we worked together to prevent it from happening,” Logan explained in an impassioned tone, “We didn’t have a choice in the matter as time was running out for our kind. We were on the verge of extinction and…”

“He sent you back to change that,” Scott seemed to take in Logan’s words, “Of all of us, he entrusted you to do what was necessary to…”

“My mutation allowed me to brave the challenge without tearing me to shreds,” Logan nodded accordingly, “and at that point we were all out of options. If I hadn’t gone back, then we’d all be extinct and…”

“Somehow you changed your future,” Scott finished for him, “leaving your world and entering ours, which you claim didn’t exist until you somehow changed the timeline and created this…what did you call it? Alternate universe?”

“I told you that you would think I was crazy,” Logan sighed feeling his frustrations mounting, “I know it sounds insane, but if you talk to Chuck, he can tell you that…”

“I don’t want to talk to Charles,” Scott snapped in recoil, “Right now I’m talking to you and I have to tell you as much as I want to believe what you’re saying the fact to the matter is that…”

“I don’t expect you to understand Slim, but I hope that you’ll at least try to give me the benefit of the doubt here,” Logan spoke up in an impassioned tone, “I know it sounds crazy, but…”

“It sounds preposterous,” Scott agreed with him.

“Be that as it may, you saw the proof right before your eyes when you were in that club. You saw that in those trials I was…” Logan argued with him further.

“What?” Scott questioned when something seemed to register over his features.

“I was trying to hold onto what I lost in leaving that place and coming here,” Logan answered with a raw honesty in his voice. His heart was pounding in his chest, his mind on overload when he thought about all he’d lost on the road to being where he was with Scott, “After that first night at the trials, I was able to hold onto you again. You have no idea how amazing it felt to know that you were there beside me—free to be mine in every way imaginable. When I was able to immerse myself in the memory of loving with you—of being with you again it did something to me. I was able to savor what we once lost and…”

“What we lost,” Scott repeated lowering his arms to his sides when it seemed he’d relaxed a bit in his positioning, “So you’re saying in this other life you and I were…”

“Lovers,” Logan nodded. With a poignant smile, he couldn’t help, but watch Scott closely wishing like hell that they weren’t still worlds apart, “but not at first. We took a long time to get to where we were meant to be, but…”

“What?” Scott questioned taking a tentative step towards him.

“You were taken from me far too soon and as selfish as that makes me I refuse to go through that again,” Logan divulged watching as Scott moved across the room to take a seat on the edge of the bed beside him. Wordlessly Scott sank down onto the mattress lowering his head as he seemed to be taking in Logan’s words.

“So, I really died,” Scott deduced when Logan nodded poignantly.

“You were murdered by the Phoenix,” Logan admitted painfully. His body tightened, mind filled with the life he’d put behind him, “She took control of Jean and tormented you until you lost the battle against her. She worked her way inside your head and destroyed you in her rage.”

“Phoenix,” Scott repeated seemingly caught up in his own thoughts. The color drained from his face as he weighed out Logan’s words, “No, that’s not right. You know that we were able to help Jean when she was possessed. We all worked together to change things by making the choice to…”

“To what?” Logan questioned noticing the way Scott shifted on the bed beside him, “Scott, as much as I wish I could remember what happened in this world, I wasn’t there. I wish I had been, but…”

“Then you don’t remember how I…” Scott wrinkled his nose and quickly dismissed the thought, “It doesn’t matter now. It isn’t about what was. It is about you…about what you’re saying to me…”

“In my world the Phoenix was nothing, but destruction,” Logan cautioned remembering the way that part of his old life still haunted him. Instinctively he began to tremble caught up in one of the darkest moments knowing that he’d lost it all when the Phoenix had been introduced to his life, “She brought out the worst in the world around her with her power and…”

“In this world we saw the signs in Jean early on,” Scott paused drawing in a nervous breath when he reached out to place his hand over Logan’s knee. Offering up a gentle squeeze, Scott softened his tone and let out a small sigh, “After the power became a part of her, we knew that we had to help her. After she lost our child…”

“Child?” Logan repeated tilting his head to the side and seeing the grimace that carried over Scott’s expression.

“Jean was pregnant when the Phoenix made her way into our lives Logan,” Scott prepared to move his hand away from Logan’s thigh only to feel Logan’s grip over his palm.

“Scott, I didn’t know that…” Logan was at a loss when Scott lowered his head and sighed.

“Jean wasn’t that far along in the pregnancy when the Phoenix consumed her,” Scott explained somberly revealing the first moment of anguish in the memory that had swept over him in Logan’s confession, “We tried the best we could, but the baby never stood a chance. At the time…”

“Slim…” Logan squeezed Scott’s hand tighter wishing like hell that he could erase the pain that his companion was experiencing.

“We knew she would be next if we didn’t step up to prevent it from taking her,” Scott paused weighing out his words, “When we saw how much destruction it was capable of we knew we couldn’t just sit back and do nothing. When it almost overpowered Jean, we all came together and stopped that from happening. We were both on the front lines fighting to save her soul before…”

“Hey,” Logan nudged him gently knowing that their time together had been tense, but with Scott beside him, Logan found the strength to wrap his arm around Scott’s shoulders pulling him into a tight embrace. Without hesitation Logan placed a kiss on top of Scott’s head allowing Scott a moment to reconcile his grief in Logan’s arms.

“We tried so hard to make things right—to do what we could to save them both, but I wasn’t strong enough,” Scott choked up on his words. Leaning in against Logan he swallowed down a breath before speaking up in a raw, broken voice, “I couldn’t lose her too. I hated that thing inside of her for what it had done in taking our child—I wanted to destroy it, but I knew that it was too strong…it wanted too much and…”

“The Phoenix is bred from chaos and madness. In my world Jean couldn’t control it. She tried, but it was just too much for her,” Logan tilted his head to the side to look down at Scott, “She was too strong for Jean to hold on. She forced her control upon Jean causing her to…”

“Kill me,” Scott finished with a tiny shudder when something clouded over his twisted features, “So you’re saying that we weren’t able to defeat her in your world because there was no us. Our team was gone.”

“The Phoenix saw to our destruction. She took her anger out on you and Chuck and after….” Logan trailed off as the weight of his past carried over him.

“She wasn’t able to be defeated?” Scott questioned turning to face Logan fully. He pulled away from Logan’s chest searching for the truth in Logan’s eyes.

“I was able to take her down, but at a cost,” Logan looked away from Scott. He took in a long, slow breath before speaking up again, “In my world I had no choice, but to stop her Slim. It wasn’t what I wanted, but she left me without options.”

“What happened?”

“I destroyed her after she took you from me,” Logan answered guiltily. He turned away from Scott struggling to gain a hold on his troubling thoughts, “In doing so I knew that there would be no way to end it without violence. I had no choice and I…I murdered Jean and after…Scott, there was nothing left after that. After she stole you from my life…”

“You’re saying that the Phoenix murdered me…because you and I were in love with one another,” Scott repeated allowing Logan’s words to sink in. His face was twisted, caught up in contemplations that Logan couldn’t quite place.

“When we thought Jeanie died you and I found our way to one another. We found something real, but somehow as it was happening, she knew. She had a hold on Jeanie keeping her from us, but she was keeping tabs on us the entire time. She was full of vengeance and rage Scott,” Logan confessed reaching out to place his hand over Scott’s thigh. He half expected Scott to pull away, but instead Scott remained seated beside him taking in Logan’s words, “She wanted nothing more than to destroy you after she’d felt betrayed by our love.”

“No, it’s never been about destroying me. I’d thought that at first too when she stole my child from Jean and I, but I was wrong,” Scott shook his head firmly when he seemed to contemplate the things that Logan was saying to him, “In your world things may have been different, but here her thirst remains the same. Yes, she craves power and total control, but beneath the surface she wants to consume me Logan. She has been drawn to me through the years and she’s used Jean to do it.”

“She did so many horrible things to Jean in my world. She unleashed her madness upon you causing you to suffer for loving me—for the way we found one another after we lost Jean. She knew that we loved one another, and she was enraged in that truth,” Logan divulged painfully. His fingers curled around Scott’s thigh offering up another slow, supportive squeeze, “For weeks she tormented you reaching this place deep inside your head and drawing out things that you could no longer fight after her repeated attacks. I didn’t realize the grip that she had on you until it was too late. She’d spent months torturing you and…”

“She consumed me because she chose me as hers.”

Logan nodded, “There was nothing left Scott. When I went looking for you everything was gone and…”

“You saw the aftermath in your world of her anger,” Scott realized weighing out Logan’s words.

“What was she like here?” Logan found himself almost afraid to ask, “With you…was she…?”

“She wanted to consume and take me under to rebuild her new world, but with what you are saying to me in your world when we took her on, I wasn’t strong enough to fight her?” Scott inquired tilting his head up and glancing over at Logan again, “She left no room for compromise in killing me, correct?”

“I wasn’t there when it happened, but after you were gone,” Logan let out a long sigh as he held onto the memory of finding Jean so lost and miserable on the banks of Alkali Lake, “I knew that there would be no turning back. When I asked Jeanie what happened, she was so confused, but the horror of her actions surrounded her. She was terrified at the thought of what she’d done under the influence and…”

“She killed me,” Scott pondered Logan’s words for a long, contemplative moment of silence. He shifted on the bed before speaking up as if he was struggling to piece together the portrait of the old world that Logan had left behind him, “Which means in your world Jean never learned to control it. She never found the strength to fight back?”

“There’s no controlling that kind of power. Anyone who thinks that they can keep it caged is a fool,” Logan mouthed somberly when his memory was filled of Jean’s final moments struggling to grip onto her humanity as the Phoenix had taken everything from her. In her pain, Logan had found himself in a dark place struggling to hold onto the woman who’d meant something to both him and Scott, but in her darkness he’d found that his violence would only serve to be the one true freedom he was able to provide her with, “I tried so hard to save her, but…”

“You were unsuccessful in your mission,” Scott finished for him.

“There hasn’t been a day that has passed when I haven’t found myself filled with regret in knowing how far her madness took us down the rabbit hole,” Logan explained poignantly, “Every night I would dream about her ending, about losing you, about what we had and lost and how I hadn’t found the strength to save you. Losing you was the end for me Slim.”

“Here we fought against that happening,” Scott stopped himself as the weight of his memory came sweeping down upon him. He hesitated before looking over at Logan again, “not with us in our relationship, but with…with Jean. We did everything we could to free her spirit. We almost lost her right after the baby was gone, but we never gave up hope. We kept fighting as a team and we were able to pull her back because I refused to lose the fight. I wouldn’t let it take her under without compromise—without sacrifice and…”

“Scott?” Logan questioned when it was clear that something seemed to consume Scott’s thoughts.

“We did what we needed to do to free her and we saved her Logan. It wasn’t the same outcome that you faced and that’s all that matters,” Scott decided shutting down whatever nagging thoughts had been lingering over his tongue. Whatever was waiting over his lips had been pushed back by the wall that had somehow returned between them, “We freed her from her curse. We saved her.”

“In this world maybe, but in mine there was no other way of dealing with her at the end,” Logan turned to face him again. Sliding his fingers out to touch the side of Scott’s face, he found himself sinking into a moment of despair, “I lost you. I didn’t fight hard enough to hold onto you and because of that she took you under. She was able to get her claws in and…”

“Logan, I’m sorry you had to face that,” Scott spoke his name involuntarily leaning into Logan’s touch as Logan spoke up again in a raw, visceral tone.

“Not as sorry as I was to let you walk away without a fight,” Logan leaned in closer to him, “I did it once Slim and I refuse to do it again. Not now.”

“Logan, I know that you think that…” Scott began with surprise evident in his flushed features. Something about Logan’s words hit him hard as his cheeks grew a deep crimson shade.

“In my world you were so sad—not in the same ways you are here, but you carried so much pain with you,” Logan explained brushing his thumb over Scott’s bottom lip, “You were so in love with Jean that losing her damn near destroyed you, but somehow in the chaos you were able to find a second chance with me. Through our misery we were able to find one another. You were so miserable and lost, but you awakened something inside of me that I never knew existed and because of it, I found love—real love for the first time in my life.”

“Logan, I…” Scott opened his mouth to say something when Logan pushed his index finger over the center of Scott’s mouth.

“I don’t expect you to believe me in any of this because I know how crazy it sounds,” Logan conceded with a sad smile, “but it’s the truth. The life I had before this was a long, hard one filled with endless disappointments except for my time spent with you. You gave me purpose and meaning. You made my life matter for the first time since I’d awakened without a sense of self or memories of what I once was. You made me feel alive…”

“…but here…” Scott stiffened against Logan’s touch, “I hurt you so much. I’ve done so many awful things that…”

“In my world you grew to be my everything,” Logan explained with a newfound determination in his voice. His index finger traced over the center of Scott’s mouth gingerly pressing the pad over Scott’s kiss-swelled bottom lip, “You taught me what love was and when I lost you everything else in the world went without meaning. I was forced to face an emptiness in knowing that I would never feel alive again because I was nothing without you in my life Slim.”

“In my world,” Scott sighed against Logan’s fingertip. Reaching for Logan’s hand, he guided Logan’s fingers to the side of his face before letting out a long sigh. He held Logan’s palm against his skin seemingly savoring the warmth of the connection before speaking up in a low, anguished tone, “You hate and despise me for the way in which I betrayed you.”

“Slim?” Logan questioned watching Scott tense up before him.

“I’m not saying that I believe entirely in what you are saying to me but knowing what I do about you and me—about our relationship and what we’ve been through…,” Scott’s words trailed off. He seemed to be at war with his thoughts before he looked up at Logan again, “If you were truly my Logan, then you’d be out the door wanting to get as far away from me as possible. You would hate me for all that I am and…”

“I would never hate you,” Logan argued sliding his fingers into Scott’s hair, coaxing him in closer on the edge of the bed, “I love you.”

“The Logan I know would never say that,” Scott shook his head readily, “and if you knew half of what he did, you wouldn’t feel that way either.”

“Scott…” Logan felt the weight of Scott’s misery fill the space between them.

“Time and time again I made your life miserable,” Scott’s words were broken by the first hints of emotion despite the cool resolve he’d usually carried with him. Instead he was speaking from the heart caught up in turmoil and anguish in his actions, “I prided myself on being a man of duty—of keeping my promise to lead this team, but in doing so I did horrible things. I hurt you repeatedly all because I was too afraid to hold onto what I wanted because I was bound by loyalty.”

“Slim, I know that you have always felt an obligation to the team. I know you’ve made compromises through the years, but I would never…” Logan attempted to reach out to him again.

“No?” Scott questioned with a hollow laugh, “Remember what you said to me before my wedding day?”

“Scott, I wish I did, but I told you that I wasn’t the one that…” Logan began again with a frown.

“You told me to stop playing it safe. You urged me to stop being afraid of who I was and what I wanted because I would never be happy in pretending. You told me to stop living the life the world expected out of me,” Scott’s lower lip was trembling in the admission, “but I never stopped fighting to give in to their expectations. I never stopped being what they expected me to be and so many others paid for it especially you. I’ve been cold and cruel and…”

“You don’t give yourself damn near enough credit Slim,” Logan reached out for him again, attempting to pull Scott in closer to him, “I know that you think the worst in yourself, but we both know you’re better than you give yourself credit for. You’re strong and brave and…”

“If what you’re saying is true about being from another world, then you don’t know me. If you are truly from an alternate universe, then we are strangers that…” Scott found himself at a loss. His eyes turned to the bed again clearly caught up in all that had taken place the previous night and earlier in the morning between them.

“Maybe we don’t have our whole history yet, but Chuck told me that one day it should all come back to me—that somehow those memories could become mine as they catch up to me. He believes they aren’t there yet because I’m still holding onto the life that I put behind me, but when I finally accept things as they are, then that place I came from…” Logan spoke up in an impassioned tone.

“Will cease to exist?” Scott let out a pinched laugh, “Because heaven forbid you hold onto something you were before you walked into his office seeking out answers on your life path.”

“He’s trying to help me find my place in this world,” Logan further explained, “When he realized that I’d entered into this life…”

“He was trying to make sure you stayed where he wanted you complacent and ready to do what he asked of you no questions asked,” Scott added with a shake of his head, “Forget about who you were before because what you are now is what matters to him. It would be easy for Charles if you just gave up on what you once were in favor of becoming what he thinks you should be. Afterall he wouldn’t want you to hold onto something that was beyond his control. He wouldn’t want you to be free to be who you are meant to be. Instead he’d do what he could to bend you to his will—to his dream only his dream doesn’t allow for happiness Logan. It doesn’t provide you with the one thing that you so desperately long for in your life.”

“Scott?” Logan watched as Scott pushed himself off the bed again. He began to pace around the room, his body tense and uneasy as he seemed to be weighing out his thoughts. As they seemed to best him, his movements grew more uneasy, his fingers tapping against his bare thigh before Scott stopped pacing long enough to face Logan once again.

“In Boston I told you this could never be. I hurt you in ways that I still haven’t forgiven myself for because I was too afraid to face what was happening,” Scott admitted poignantly when the truth spilled from his lips like a dark confession that weighed upon his soul, “I did what was asked of me because that was what the world expected. I broke your heart and…”

“I don’t care about what happened then. Whatever you and he had in Boston isn’t what we have now and…” Logan followed Scott moving across the room to place his hand on Scott’s shoulder, “So much has happened since I arrived in this world that I don’t care about the past. If you had any idea how much pain I was in having a life without you, then you’d see that all that matters is…”

“I’m a horrible, wretched person who doesn’t deserve this,” Scott argued further while dropping his head forward. He let out a long sigh as his body tensed up again, “You were going to leave the team behind after what I did. The night before you approached me outside of Charles’ office, you told me that were on your way out the door. You said you made up your mind and…”

“Whatever happened between us back then, I know that if he—if I was thinking clearly, I would see that you didn’t mean it,” Logan tossed back at him, “Regardless of where you were at the time you said what you did about things, you wouldn’t be here if you felt that way. You wouldn’t be with me right now and…”

“Charles told me to do whatever was necessary to keep you in line,” Scott blurted out painfully, “He made certain that I did what was needed to be done to prevent you from leaving.”

“Regardless…” Logan began reaching out to Scott again in a desperate attempt at preventing Scott from slipping out of his reach once again. He recognized the signs watching as Scott was lost in his own condemning thoughts, burying himself deeper in the torture that only Scott could bring upon himself when he was caught up in a state of misery, “I know that you feel things. You try hard not to let it show Slim, but they are there just beneath the surface begging for a reason to break free.”

“No, I don’t think you get it Logan,” Scott argued taking a small step towards the window. He kept his back to Logan as he spoke up in a distanced voice, “Charles specifically ordered me to keep you in line back then and now… When you were in the hospital, he made sure to have Hank tell me to see to it that you listened and…”

“So, what are you saying?” Logan questioned with a frown taking in the weight in Scott’s words, “That Charles asked you to sleep with me?”

“I gave you what you wanted so that you wouldn’t feel compelled to leave,” Scott answered with a tight nod and losing all emotion in his voice. He wrapped his arms around his body, squeezing tightly when he focused on the world outside the motel room far away from Logan. With the rising storm it seemed that things grew colder in the motel room when Scott was bracing himself for Logan’s reaction to his confession, “I did what was needed in order to get the job done.”

“Job?” Logan repeated when everything started to dawn in on him. In an instant he was surrounded by the rage that dominated his nightmare. He could remember the words of warning that the other him shot out in anger about Scott, but he hadn’t given them much thought. Yes, they’d been hard to take as he’d written the dream off as a series of confusing glimpses of his life before he’d entered it, but the confrontation with the other him hadn’t seemed relevant. It seemed almost as if his subconscious was toying with him as he’d remembered the way the other him had chastised Scott in his dream meeting Logan with a closed mind and dark rage, “Wait so you’re saying that you and the other guy ended up doing this because…”

“I had a responsibility to my team,” Scott confessed somberly. His fingers gripped tighter at his slender frame as if he was struggling to hold himself together when his gaze remained on his car in the parking lot now covered in a blanket of thick, white snow, “Charles urged me to do what was needed to get things done and…”

“You slept with him, but instead of just admitting that you wanted to be doing it you made him feel like you were with him because you needed him to be a part of the team,” Logan realized when his dark thoughts at the hospital became clearer, “You let him believe that he was nothing to you because Charles made a request out of you. You let him think that because of your sense of duty and obligation that he didn’t matter when…”

“I hurt him,” Scott lowered his head shamefully. He turned his attention from the window instead retreating across the room to place a greater distance between them when Logan realized just what had been weighing in upon Scott all the time they’d been together, “I played his feelings against him and…”

“He fell for it. He believed you were using him as means to an end,” Logan realized when he thought back to the intensity of the rage his other self had presented him with in his dream, “That’s why he was so angry.”

“I gave him what he wanted in Boston pretending that it was what I wanted too,” Scott turned towards him for a few short seconds as if to capture the moment in revealing himself to Logan. He opened his mouth to further explain, but instead he turned away from Logan too ashamed to meet his troubled eyes, “but it wasn’t. It wasn’t at all what I wanted or how I’d thought about it in the past, but when Charles requested that I make you stay…that I do whatever it took...”

“Are you saying that when you did it, you didn’t really want to be…?” Logan questioned thinking about the things that Clint had said to him about his other self’s anger and outbursts before they’d arrived in Kingston.

“Not like that no. Charles gave me a mission and I accepted it no questions asked,” Scott forced himself to face Logan once again. With a tilt of his head, Scott’s gaze traveled over towards the bed seemingly lost in a memory of another time and place that Logan himself didn’t carry with him, “He told me to ensure that you stayed on the team, so I did.”

“You’re saying that we…” Logan’s words trailed off taking in what Scott was saying to him.

“If you were truly the Logan I knew, then you’d be well aware of what happened,” Scott decided rolling his shoulders back and looking away from the bed before standing taller, “If you knew what I did, then you wouldn’t be here offering up a declaration of love. You’d be calling me out as the cold, callous person that I am who used and betrayed you all so that we could continue to work towards Charles Xavier’s dream of peace in a world that despises us.”

“No,” Logan shook his head in refusal not allowing Scott’s words to change him, “I don’t buy it. Not for a second.”

“It isn’t for you to buy because if what you are saying is true, then you weren’t the one I hurt.”

“Slim, I know well enough to see that you wouldn’t just…” Logan attempted to appeal to him once again.

“It’s the one truth that you aren’t seeing in all of this,” Scott threw his hands up in the air, “I hurt you. I used you in the worst possible way and it’s why you were so angry with me because when you found out that I manipulated your feelings for me just so that I could be successful in…”

“Last night,” Logan interrupted thinking about what Scott was saying to him. He took a bold step forward refusing to allow Scott the opportunity to escape when something else weighed in upon his mind, “When you called Chuck…”

“He wanted me to keep you in line,” Scott looked away from him. He glanced over towards the dresser where his clothing was neatly folded on top of it. It was as if he was thinking about getting dressed and running away, as if he was prepared to leave should Logan ask it of him, but instead he stood still in the moment wrapping his arms around himself tighter than before in his confession, “He told me to do what was needed to keep you in line so I…”

“Bullshit,” Logan argued further when he moved in closer yet reusing to allow Scott the opportunity to shut him out completely, “I don’t believe it. Not for a second.”

“Logan, I’m telling you that…”

“Maybe he paved the way for you to give into instinct—maybe it was his twisted way of giving you permission for what you felt, but last night wasn’t about Chuck,” Logan spoke up in an impassioned tone as he bridged the distance between them. His lips curved downward in a scowl as he found himself contemplating just what Scott had to be thinking in the moment, so caught up in a memory of something that had paved its way into their new life together, “Hell, this morning wasn’t either. It was about us giving and taking what we wanted and…”

“I’m broken Logan. I’m incapable of feeling anything anymore and all of this,” Scott desperately waved his hand around in the air, “It’s just an illusion brought on by the fact that you’ve followed a man who is set on betraying your heart to get the job done.”

“I call bullshit,” Logan argued took a bold step towards him and reaching for Scott’s elbow. Brazenly he pulled Scott in closer to him searching Scott’s twisted features. The feel of Logan’s hand over his skin caused Scott to grimace and pull away as if Logan’s touch would be the key to his undoing when Scott took a step back, “All of it sounds nice in theory and I’m sure you worked really hard to make that the reality you surrounded yourself with to hurt for what you’re feeling, but it’s a lie.”

“No, it’s…” Scott argued with a shake of his head

“It’s all bullshit Slim,” Logan continued reaching out to him once again despite Scott’s refusal to make a connection with him. Still undeterred Logan curled his fingers around Scott’s bicep and wrenched Scott closer to him refusing to allow Scott’s guilt to guide him down a dark path of destruction. Leaning in towards him, Logan’s words came out in a firm, determined tone when his own thoughts weighed in Scott’s words, “We both know that. I know you. I know your heart. You might be hiding behind your sense of duty, but you wouldn’t have spent last night with me like that if it didn’t mean something. You wouldn’t have found your way into my arms, into my bed and…”

“I’m the last person someone would want to fall in love with,” Scott stiffened against Logan’s touch. He tilted his head to stare directly at Logan all the while doing his best to keep his expression neutral, but there was no denying the subtle quivering of his lip or the way he trembled against Logan, caught up in his own guilt and regret, “You can ask Jean. I’m damaged and…”

“That still doesn’t change the fact that you have every right to feel something Slim,” Logan softened his grip on Scott’s arm when it was clear that Scott was shaken up, “You deserve to love and be loved just as much as the rest of us do. Maybe you haven’t done everything the ‘right’ way, but who of us has here?”

“Logan, you don’t understand I’m…” Scott choked up on his words.

“Lost and maybe in need of saving yourself, but you aren’t beyond redemption,” Logan attempted to appeal to him once again, “So maybe you went into something for the wrong reasons telling yourself that was the only thing that mattered but…”

“I drove you…him…you…away,” Scott choked up on his words.

“Maybe it wasn’t you that made him want to leave. Maybe the other me tried to walk away because he wasn’t strong enough,” Logan deduced taking in Scott’s words when his thoughts returned to his counterpart, “Maybe he realized early on that that you and Jeanie were something he didn’t want to contend with. He knew how special your love was to the both of you, so maybe a part of him felt that he was never enough—that he could never make you happy like she did. Maybe he was afraid that when you finally gave it a go that he wouldn’t measure up to what you needed.”

“No,” Scott shook his head again at Logan’s words, “I was cruel and horrible. He loved me with everything he was. Time and time again he kept putting his life on hold because he was waiting for me. He wanted me to finally just tell him that I loved him too and make it matter for us, but I couldn’t.”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?” Logan tossed back at him with a small scowl, “Because of you and Jeanie or because you don’t think you deserve to be happy Scott? I mean that’s really what this is about, right?”

“Logan I…”

“This isn’t about Chuck. This isn’t even about Jeanie,” Logan decided as his fingers pushed up over the side of Scott’s face to touch his perfectly sculpted cheekbone, “This is about you and the way that you’ve been led to believe that you aren’t worthy of this.”

“No, Logan it’s because I’m awful and…”

“You’re not awful Slim. Yeah, you might have fucked up in this situation, but…” Logan softened his tone as his fingers tapered off into Scott’s tousled dark hair, “you’re afraid.”

“No, I’m not…I’m…”

“Yes,” Logan decided bringing both hands out to cup Scott’s face. He coaxed Scott to directly look at him as he thought about the differences in this version of Scott and the one he’d lost. They’d both experienced far different lives, which had taken them down different paths, but as Logan held Scott before him catching the sadness that carried over him, he knew full well that they were more alike than Scott would ever truly allow himself to believe. Gently, he pressed his thumb over Scott’s bottom lip, moving in a chaste touch over his soft skin before leaning in closer to him, “you are. You’ve spent so many years running from what it is that you are that you’ve forgotten what it means to just let go and be happy. You’ve told yourself that you aren’t allowed to accept happiness into your life because the weight of the world is on your shoulders.”

“No Logan I’m…” Scott opened his mouth in protest only to have Logan wrap his arm around his waist to draw him in against Logan’s bare chest.

“Scott Summers. Leader of the X-Men who doesn’t think about what’s best for him because he was led to believe the fate of the world falls upon his shoulders,” Logan interrupted with a small sigh, “You don’t see that your decisions and your choices are something that defines who you are.”

“Of course, I do. I know full well that the things I’ve done are…”

“Misguided and hurtful sure, but…” Logan paused watching as Scott moved his hand up over Logan’s on the side of Scott’s face, instinctively touching the top of Logan’s fingers, “you’re not the man you’ve made yourself out to be. You might be loyal to Charles, but even if you don’t freely allow yourself the opportunity to do something for you without reason, we both know this wasn’t about Charles.”

“Everything I do is about…” Scott opened his mouth to protest again only to feel the pad of Logan’s thumb over his lips to silence him.

“Denying what you truly feel,” Logan decided leaning in closer yet, “because it’s easier to rationalize that you’re a heartless son of a bitch than admit to the fact that you are with me because you want to be.”

“Logan I…”

“Admit it Summers,” Logan slurred sliding his fingers deeper into Scott’s wavy hair, “you are crazy about me and that unsettles you. You don’t know what to do about it and that’s the real problem here.”

“Logan, I slept with you because…”

“…Charles gave you a reason to discount it,” Logan finished for him with a sigh, “If that’s what happened back in Boston and that’s what you’ve been holding onto all this time…”

“You have no idea how much I hurt him…” Scott paused when Logan guided him in closer yet to make a deeper connection between them. However, before Logan’s lips could find Scott’s in a kiss, he felt Scott pull away with a shuddering gasp, “and if what you’re saying it true, then he’s gone forever. He’s not a part of this world anymore. He’s never going to be here again. Any opportunity I might’ve had to fix my mistake is gone and…”

“I’m right here,” Logan’s heart ached watching as the weight of his declaration hit home with Scott. At first it seemed to register, to creep in over his senses, taking him from logic and reason to the possibility of what if now that he’d been confronted by something he hadn’t wanted to face. Now, unable to hold back on the truth, Scott began to tremble in Logan’s arms knowing full well that some mistakes could never be changed.

“He’s gone,” Scott blurted out shaken by the weight of Logan’s words, “He’s gone. He’s really gone and he’s never coming back. He left hating me and…”

“Scott…” Logan spoke his name hoping to reach out to him in his turmoil.

“He’s gone and I'll never be able to tell him…” Scott’s voice cracked with panic taking him from calm to a frenzy as Logan touched the side of Scott’s face hoping to pull Scott from his turmoil to the moment between them.

“I’m right here. Tell me. I’ll hear you,” Logan promised pulling Scott in against his chest. As if on instinct Logan’s arms wrapped around Scott’s torso, hugging him tightly as Scott broke into a series of tiny sobs caught up in his grief over a man that Logan was convinced never deserved him in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like what you see let me know. Feedback is the fuel for the writer's soul. Thanks for reading!


	25. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No longer worlds apart Scott and Logan open the lines of communication between them and face the truths in what they are to one another.

**Aftermath:** _the consequences or aftereffects of a significant unpleasant event.  
  
_

Logan lay in the agonizing silence caught up in the raw heat of the connection he and Scott made with one another. For so long they were in a great many ways figuratively and literally worlds apart, but now as Logan gently massaged the warmth of Scott’s spine taking in each one of Scott’s tiny, choked, broken sobs Logan’s heart was torn to pieces. Never in his life had he been witness to a more broken or vulnerable Scott. It was as if every cover Scott used to keep the world at arm’s length had been shattered, simply crumbling to pieces with the broken, beaten man before Logan. It was almost unnerving as Logan realized Scott hadn’t ever been in this much visceral pain—not when they’d lost Jean in their old life with one another and certainly not when Logan had damn near shut down the other Scott’s declaration of love, but now with this fragile, fragmented version of the man he loved sobbing against him, Logan found himself filled with an even deeper sense of longing and purpose in keeping Scott close to him.

“I’m…so…sorry…and now he’ll never…he’ll never know that I…that he was…” Scott sobbed again and again clearly lost in an endless string of misery in hating himself for all the wrongs he’d felt he’d committed against Logan’s counterpart. It seemed that the weight of the burden Scott carried with him had caused his stoic exterior to rupture and fall apart, crumbling to pieces with only Logan’s arms to keep him from completely shattering.

“He knew Slim,” Logan promised nuzzling his nose against the top of Scott’s head, taking in the sweet soft vanilla that surrounded him as the scent of remorse and regret filled the room between them bringing Logan to full awareness of how deep the sense of loss resonated within Scott, “He always knew and he forgave you.”

“No,” Scott shook his head adamantly in between tiny broken sobs, “he couldn’t…he wouldn’t… He…”

“He has. He was stubborn, but to him you were always everything,” Logan promised when Scott fell into him once again overtaken by the missing pieces of his heart that Scott had forced to stay hidden away from the rest of the world. Now they revealed themselves to Logan with pride and obligation stripped away, raw and on display putting Scott in a position that Logan had never truly witnessed in him before.

When Scott’s damp tears spilled over Logan’s chest, Logan found himself squeezing Scott tightly with his arm draped around Scott’s trembling form knowing only too well how hard the truth had hit him. Without thought or hesitation, Logan kissed the top of Scott’s head all the while stroking his smooth skin in slow, loving caresses hoping to help soothe the ache that was silently tearing him to pieces inside. He hugged Scott closer to him unable to ignore the way it broke his heart to see Scott in such deep, visceral pain—to feel the all-consuming sense of despair that rocked over Scott in knowing that he’d lost his second chance at redemption much like Logan had when Scott’s counterpart had left Logan’s old world shattering Logan to pieces without the love of his life to share his future with. Now, they lay together as two broken men, caught up in the memory of a life they could never have, of men they could never be—mourning the loss of a love that could never be again.  
  
With a heavy heart, Logan found himself surrounded by the baggage of his past knowing the profound impact it could make upon his future. With every tiny choked sob of Scott’s trembling form over his chest, Logan knew that Scott felt it too. The cold, cruel twists that life had dealt them were a defining moment in both of their lives leaving them both marred by the choices they’d made—forced to face a world without the joy that they’d once longed for. It was well within their reach in another life, but they’d foolishly discarded it, tossing it aside on a whim—on a moment of ignorance when the reality they were now surrounded by would’ve seemed like a mere impossibility. Their choices had been made long before they’d found their way to one another, but with the brutal weight of their loss hanging over them, Logan knew that they would never reach inner peace or a resolution to the wrongs they’d committed against one another in another life. The reality of that hit Logan harder than he’d anticipated as he found himself wanting more than anything to change their fate—to somehow repair the damage they’d done and turn around the pain they’d caused one another in another life. It was the only way to ensure they didn’t travel down the same path they’d once taken, Logan rationalized as he held Scott in his arms. Instinctively he ran his fingers gently through Scott’s dark hair tenderly petting the soft strands beneath his touch hoping to soothe and console his lover.

“I know that right now some pieces are missing, but I promise you that I’m still right here. I still remember loving you, wanting you, needing you Slim,” Logan promised kissing the top of Scott’s head once again. His fingers pushed up over Scott’s spine imprinting the warmth of his lover over him, caught up in a world of misery over knowing what their actions had cost them. Both had loved and lost with regret turning away the only real thing they’d ever experienced in their lives. In their actions and inactions, they’d destroyed the one thing that mattered most in their worlds. Even if they hadn’t understood the price they would undoubtedly pay, they were surrounded by it now knowing only too well that their inaction had cost them everything that had once meant the world to them.

Now as Logan coaxed Scott to slide up over him, keeping the warmth of their connection burning bright between them, he eased his fingertips over the side of Scott’s face, gently nudging his index finger underneath Scott’s chin and coaxing Scott to look at him—to look into him and see the truth behind his eyes. For an instant time stood still delivering the power of their connection as Logan saw himself reflected in Scott’s glasses, showing his own emotions mirrored in his lover’s ruby quartz as the weight of the truths they’d shared with one another rocked over the both of them. With the movement Scott let out a mournful sob, caught up in his shame and grief as Logan’s right hand touched the side of Scott’s face, wiping at the damp tears that overtook his otherwise stoic companion.

“I’m always here with you Slim as long as you come back to me. You don’t have to keep trying to push me away because I swear to you that I’ll never leave you. Never again,” Logan promised cupping Scott’s face in his hands. He leaned up from the pillow feeling the warm breath of Scott’s shallow pants carry over his lips onto Logan’s face creating a somber mood between them that only their pain could unite them in.

There were so many things that they could say to one another—that they should say to one another, but no words seemed fitting as Scott dipped down to nudge the tip of his nose against Logan’s. It caused both men to exhale, rocked with sensation when Logan tiled his head back bringing his lips up just enough to skim against Scott’s mouth in a slow, tender brush of damp skin and moist heat. Instinctively, Logan moaned giving himself to the kiss, caught up in the weight of sensation and desire, knowing only too well that to turn away from it would be one of the greatest mistakes of his life. As Logan’s lips parted, Scott’s tongue darted inside of him in slow, leisurely strokes taking the time to memorize every part of Logan, to savor the bittersweet taste of each other caught up in a whirlwind of remorse and regret, unfulfilled passion and desire over a life that both had stolen from them. With each nibble and tender lick, Logan found himself responding to Scott, delving deeper into lust and urgency crossing that line past desire into something deeper—something that resembled the one thing that Scott had denied him from the moment he’d arrived in this world.

Breathlessly they parted keeping their foreheads together as Scott held Logan’s face as well, stroking the stubble over Logan’s cheekbone in a desperate attempt to keep the connection between them. His thumbs stroked the sides of Logan’s face, tracing over his sharp jawline. It was as if Scott was looking at him and truly seeing him for the first time as the weight of their connection rocked over them. Caught up in the moment Logan leaned into Scott’s touch, turning towards his hand and offering a tiny, tender kiss over the center of Scott’s palm.

“You’ve always meant the world to me Logan. I never should’ve tried to deny it—to pretend that you weren’t special in my life,” Scott confessed in a quiet whisper, so soft that at first Logan had felt he’d imagined it, but when Scott leaned in to kiss him again with a whimper, Logan found himself responding to the kiss, giving himself to the intimacy revealed in the run down motel room away from the rest of the world.

“You’re everything. You always have been,” Logan half pleaded, half confessed speaking up in a desperate, reckless tone as their kiss expired. Their lips were still touching, still brushing up against one another, wrapped in sensation when Scott’s tongue teased over Logan’s bottom lip, offering up a slow, sultry lick that caused the beast within Logan to rise to the surface. Instinctively Logan curled his arm around Scott’s slender waist, coaxing Scott in against him, melding their bodies together raw and needy as Logan spoke up in a shivering exhale, “The universe has fought like hell to keep us apart, but no more. Never again.”

“Logan,” Scott practically whimpered parting his lips as Logan’s tongue found its way past Scott’s mournful lips, dipping and teasing, attempting to soothe his grief as they lay together on the center of the bed wrapped up in one another. With his heart pounding furiously in his chest, Logan traced the lines of Scott’s body, memorizing every ridge and contour of the beautiful man in his arms, but was in his kiss that Logan found himself carried beyond time and reason—far from the place they’d forced their relationship to be for so long. Now as Scott was over him, kissing him desperately, touching Logan with tenderness and urgency, Logan found that the invisible wall that had been built between them was slowly cracking at the foundation, “I’m so sorry.”

“I never should’ve let you walk away without letting you truly see what you mean to me,” Logan bellowed finding himself reminded of the lover he’d lost when his grief resurfaced taking him from the world he’d once surrounded himself by to the new one he’d found with this version of Scott Summers in his arms.

“I’m so sorry Logan. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could change everything about that day—about what I did to you—about the way I let us fall apart,” Scott bellowed in between kisses with arms surrounding Logan, holding onto him as if everything in the world rode on their union—on the way that their lips met in a tantalizing tease of sensation and desire, emotion and tenderness when Logan gently rolled Scott back onto the mattress beneath him. As their lips parted, Logan pushed up off Scott onto his elbows looking down at the broken man beneath him. For a moment they were both paralyzed by fear and regret, but when Scott reached for Logan again with urgent hands gripping at Logan’s cheeks, coaxing his lips to meet Scott’s in sweet surrender Logan knew full that now was the time for forgiveness.

“I never should’ve made you feel like you couldn’t confide in me—that you couldn’t reach for me when you were holding the weight of the world on your shoulders. I should’ve protected you from the pain you endured,” Logan spoke up in a raw, broken tone finding himself reminded of the man he’d loved and lost with Scott in his arms with tears staining down his face. Scott’s bottom lip was quivering, his body rocked with regret and remorse, but as they held onto one another, reaching out to reclaim what they’d lost in one another, Logan simply gave in to instinct kissing Scott again and again. His hands roamed tenderly over every inch of Scott’s body, feeling the wall between them finally crumble when his lips teased over the base of Scott’s throat, over his chest, down over his abdomen with hands roaming over Scott’s hips and thighs coaxing Scott to give into the weight of the emotion between them.

“Please don’t let me push you away again,” Scott pleaded threading his fingers through Logan’s wild, dark hair to coax Logan up to meet his lips again in another urgent plea for redemption.

“Never,” Logan promised kissing Scott again and again as they found themselves reconciling the sins of the past in one another’s arms after a lifetime of pain and regret.

* * *

  
  


“What was he—the other me like?” Scott somberly questioned still wrapped up in Logan’s arms long after his tears had died down. Instead of pulling away from one another in their truths as Logan had once feared would happen, they were a mess of tangled limbs and warm bodies dealing with the aftermath of their grief turned passionate, wrapped up in saying their goodbyes to people they could never be again.

“Emotional, passionate,” Logan recounted thinking about his time with the other Scott he’d fallen in love with, “He was so sad for such a long time, but in his grief, he’d found freedom to be his true self. In losing Jean, he’d discovered a part of himself that he’d kept buried deep inside of him for so very long. He was afraid to embrace it at first, but eventually he found himself in ways that I never anticipated or expected after we lost her. For so long we danced around what we felt for one another—always keeping it just beneath the surface afraid to give into it because of Jean, but once she was gone…we fought against it until we came together on a collision course meant to crash into one another.”

“And you loved him?” Scott questioned lazily stroking the center of Logan’s chest, tracing an outline over where his heart was racing wildly beneath Scott’s touch.

“With everything I am. He might’ve annoyed me when we first met, but I soon learned that the worst possible pain was to endure a life without him—without you,” Logan confessed pressing a kiss over the top of Scott’s damp, dark hair, “What about you and him? When did you know it was there between you?”

“The day I married Jean he asked me not to. We’d been flirting with desire for so long, teasing one another in ways that were both cruel and wonderful, but until that day we both held back refusing to face the truth of what it could mean to just call it what is was. For so long we both dismissed it as lust and physical attraction brought on by tension between us, but on my wedding day everything changed,” Scott confessed still rubbing the center of Logan’s chest in a light, tender motion. He let out a long sigh, holding Logan closer to him despite their earlier conversation, “Right before the wedding he begged me to run away with him—to stop denying my heart, but I was too afraid. I was too scared to admit to myself who I truly was. It hurt him and I knew it, but I couldn’t give him what he wanted. As much I wanted to give into his beautiful dream of a life together away from responsibility, I knew that I owed Jean more than that. I tried to explain to him that I promised her a life with the both of us together, but he was so desperate. He was so insistent and for a moment in time I found myself ready to give in. I knew it was wrong, but I was ready to walk away from everything I’d ever known all because he’s asked, but…”

“But what?” Logan questioned feeling Scott stiffen in his arms at the memory.

“Jean was pregnant,” Scott confessed guiltily. He nestled his head in against Logan’s chest, pressing his ear over the center of it as if to listen to the sound of Logan’s heart beating beneath him, “I didn’t know at the time, but right after he came to me I spoke with Hank about how I was feeling. I revealed what I was considering in walking away and Hank…”

“Told you Jeanie was pregnant?” Logan questioned feeling Scott nod over his skin, choking up on the memory that had carried over him.

“I couldn’t leave her knowing what the future had in store for the both of us. She’d wanted to surprise me on our honeymoon with the news about our baby and she made him swear to secrecy. For so long he’d kept his word to her, but when I told Hank about how I felt, he tried to get me to think about the future—about doing the right thing and honoring my obligations—to continue to be a man of my word and…”

“You told the other me that you couldn’t run away with him,” Logan finished when Scott fell to silence once again.

“He said he knew it was a long shot in us being together, but…” Scott bit down on his kiss-swelled bottom lip, “I owed Jean so much. She was my best friend. We grew up together. She was important to me for so long and…”

“He knew how much you loved Jeanie,” Logan gently rubbed Scott’s spine, keeping him close underneath the blankets, “He knew how special your love was.”

“I loved her with my whole heart,” Scott admitted in a pained voice, “At least I thought I did. I told myself that time and time again when I had my doubts until right before my wedding day. I never really gave weight to the fact that I had any reservations about her and me together until he was standing there begging me to make a choice…”

“You did what you thought was best,” Logan attempted to comfort him.

“And I hurt everyone in the process. He couldn’t handle the idea of facing me each day after we both knew we were attracted to one another, so he left for a little while saying it was best for Jean and me. He wanted to give us an opportunity to make it work somehow in knowing that we were going to have the baby. He tried to keep his distance, but soon after she was possessed by the Phoenix. When things started to get bad with her, somehow, he knew that we needed him. He reached out to me and in a moment of weakness I asked him to come back. I knew that we needed his help and after we lost our child everything spiraled out of control,” Scott sighed looking down at his wedding ring, “I made a mess of my marriage and…”

“It isn’t your fault Scott,” Logan offered up when it was clear that Scott carried the burden of his guilt over him like a badge of dishonor with the memory of all he’d lost.

“How would you know?” Scott questioned with a pained, hollow laugh when he trembled over Logan. His fingers skimmed lazily over the surface of Logan’s skin when he let out a long, poignant sigh, “If what you’re saying it true, then you weren’t here. You wouldn’t see that…”

“Because even if those memories aren’t on the front burner, I’m still a part of him. The pieces that I have seen have shown me that there was something strong there between us for so long. I can feel the way he hungered for you, needed you and everything inside of me knows that you aren’t to blame for what went wrong,” Logan explained holding him closer when it was clear that Scott was willing to shoulder the responsibility in all that had failed between him and the other man Logan had become a part of, “You both made mistakes.”

“Some worse than others,” Scott lowered his head and sighed with remorse, “I kept him pulling him back in, keeping him believing in something that wasn’t meant to happen for so long until…”

“He knew it wasn’t impossible,” Logan began tenderly stroking Scott’s spine again to soothe the tension now resurfacing from within.

“Isn’t it though?” Scott raised his head up to look at Logan once more.

“You tell me,” Logan touched the side of Scott’s face.

“If you knew all that I was capable of, then you wouldn’t be treating me like this,” Scott tensed up against Logan’s embrace, “If you realized how horrible I’ve been, you’d never say that you loved me. You’d never give me another chance to break your heart when you’d see that I’m a lost cause and that this is an impossibility between us.”

“I don’t believe that,” Logan argued further, “You said it yourself that you don’t want me to let you push me out anymore. You made me promise to keep that from happening again, did you not?”

“This time is different…” Scott’s words tapered off, “This time I’m…”

“In a rare position to rediscover what you once lost in your life with me,” Logan spoke up in an impassioned tone, “We can seize the opportunity to do things the way they were always meant to be. We can finally be free to face this head on without any illusions between us. We know what we did wrong the first time around and…”

“You think you could love someone as broken as I am even knowing that I’m not the man you fell in love with?” Scott questioned with a sad expression on his face, “After all you lost, why would you willingly attempt to reclaim anything with me considering how awful I am? After all the things I’ve done…”

“You’ve lived your life with an incredible burden placed upon you Scott,” Logan whispered kissing the top of Scott’s head again, “I know about how isolated you felt before Charles found you. I know about what you went through in losing your parents, in being in the orphanage…about the things that you endured before Charles found you…”

“They made me the man that I am,” Scott replied with a distance in his tone, “The things I learned…”

“Kept you at arm’s length from the world around you for so long, but you don’t have to be alone any longer Slim. You don’t have to be afraid to need someone,” Logan attempted to soothe Scott with his words. His arms constricted around Scott further, holding him as if his embrace could offer up the strength Scott needed to find the will to keep fighting to find happiness in his life, “In my world I never believed that we weren’t inevitable. I just got caught up in other things after we lost Jean that I didn’t see what was happening with you. When Phoenix was tormenting him, I didn’t realize that she was the key to his misery. She kept ripping him away from me, but I was caught up in my own bullshit unable to see clearly until he was too far gone. The last time I saw him…”

“What?”

“I didn’t fight hard enough. I didn’t hold onto him like I wanted to. Instead we had a fight over something stupid that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I was being a dick and I let him walk out the door to his death. I didn’t even fight it when he walked away and then it was just…” Logan hesitated to feel the weight of heaviness in his chest at how much his inaction cost him, “over.”

“No resolution,” Scott added poignantly as if Logan’s words reached a place inside of him that resonated deep within, “Just angry harsh words and then it was over.”

“Until I found myself here,” Logan squeezed his arms around Scott tighter than before, coaxing Scott to press into him, over him and against his damp skin as they lay together on the center of the motel room bed, “Until I found you again standing before me looking like everything I lost and then some.”

“Logan…” Scott raised his head up to look down at Logan with conflicted features.

“I tried to be the better man. I tried to honor your wedding vows, but…” Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face, thinking about all the mistakes they’d made until this point in time with one another, “I couldn’t do it. After you found me in the club, I couldn’t fight it any longer. I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t feel anything. I needed you just as much as you needed me. I knew it was wrong to make things complicated for you and Jeanie, but…”

“My vows were broken long before you stepped into his shoes,” Scott promised poignantly as he twisted in Logan’s arms to hover over him. His fingers traced Logan’s jawline, taking the time to trace every ridge and contour, “Jean and I have been having problems for a while. Before we got married there was tension and then after we lost the baby, the distance between us grew until there was no reconciling our differences.”

“Scott, I’m so sorry that…” Logan began thinking about all his lover had lost.

“I wish things had turned out differently, but so many things changed,” Scott confessed pressing his head in against Logan’s shoulder to hold him again, “She and I started leading different lives, both knowing that we were suffering on the inside, but too far gone to care. I mean there was something that we knew we should be fighting for and maybe that’s why we kept pretending for so long, but…”

“What?” Logan asked sensing the deep, inner pain that Scott was struggling with.

“I didn’t fight for her when I knew she was stepping out on our marriage. I didn’t say anything even though I’d known for so long that she was turning to someone else to find what she couldn’t get in me. It hurt, but after a while I just felt numb. I just kept carrying on, doing what I did without acknowledging it and…”

“So, she and Bishop are really…”

“Together, yeah,” Scott nodded, “and I think I was one of the last people to know. I mean maybe on some level I’d figured it out that she’s needed someone that I couldn’t be. I know he wasn’t the first person she turned to and I don’t fault her that. She needed someone who could provide her with the kind of life I failed to give her. She deserves to be happy, but when I learned about her and him…it just confirmed what I suspected long before I has proof of it. I felt that it was happening with someone, but just wasn’t aware of it. I was so caught up in trying to bury the way I’d felt about how things had changed that when it finally hit me that I just accepted that it was happening and kept pushing on with my life.”

“How did you find out that…?” Logan almost hated to ask when it was clear that Scott was dealing with far more than he’d spoken out about.

“In Boston I happened upon confirmation of the truth,” Scott’s voice was distanced in his confession, “When Charles asked me to…when he requested that I keep you here, I knew what he was saying. He didn’t have to spell it out. I realized what he wanted me to do, but…”

“You were married to Jeanie,” Logan deduced watching Scott nod.

“And I promised to stay faithful to her for so long. Even though I wanted you, I couldn’t give in to that temptation. I knew that I’d made my choice and I had to accept that no matter how much I’d fantasized about what could’ve been. I had to keep my promise to be what she needed and that meant I had to stick it out and make it work as long as she was willing,” Scott admitted with a small shake of his head, “If I wasn’t with Jeanie, then I wasn’t going to give in to desire. I’d abstained from sex and physical pleasure for so long…forcing myself to realize that part of our relationship was long gone.”

“So, you and Jeanie weren’t…?”

“Sleeping together?” Scott finished catching the curiosity in Logan’s tone, “By the time you and I were in Boston together, no, she and I stopped being intimate with one another. I mean we’d tried once to rekindle the passion on a weekend staycation not long before you and I accepted the Boston mission, but we both knew it wasn’t the same. We were just going through the motions undoubtedly fantasizing about other people and shortly after our distance continued to grow. The bond between us finally felt broken and we just stopped being intimate. Even when we were intimate so many things changed for us. We were hiding things from one another in ways we promised we wouldn’t. We were different people—almost strangers in each other’s lives and there was no reconciling that. I think after our failed attempt at trying to repair the damage we’d done, we just decided to stop forcing it. The magic was gone so we just stopped pretending that we felt something for each other that way.”

“So then by the time you were in Boston, Charles knew that your marriage was in trouble?”

“We never spelled it out for him, but I don’t think it was hard to see the signs,” Scott nodded somberly, “We tried not to be obvious about it, but a part of me knew she’d moved on. I could feel it, but I never dared ask.”

“But Chuck knew you were distant from Jeanie—that you were having problems and he still suggested that you seduce the other me,” Logan pondered what Scott was telling him, “despite the fact that you and Jeanie were trying to make things work?”

“I suppose,” Scott shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe he saw something that I didn’t want to face in clinging to my ignorance.”

“Slim, I don’t know…” Logan couldn’t help, but frown taking in Scott’s words.

“A part of me was trying to be a good husband, but maybe we all knew it was only a matter of time before…”

“Scott?” Logan questioned seeing the struggle weighing upon his companion.

“With Charles…the problems Jean and I had with one another weren’t relevant to the issue at hand. In some ways, he believed that the ends justified the means. He saw you slipping away and that was top precedence. Jean and I were struggling to hold on, but Charles still wanted me to put the mission first. He wanted me to fight for the team—for what we built together so he just…well…you know,” Scott let out an ironic laugh when it was clear that the time in question had resonated a deep pain inside of Scott’s memory, “I was so conflicted over it—so tormented by the idea of stepping outside of my marriage to keep you…him here that I gave in to my guilt.”

“By sleeping with him?” Logan prompted him further.

“No, I mean I did, but before I took that leap, I reached out to Jean when him and I were in Boston,” Scott let out an ironic laugh that did anything, but ease the tension running over him with the memory, “Before I could make any kind of move, I knew that I had to be honest about what was happening. In my guilt I called Jean to discuss it with her—to explain what Charles required of me. I don’t know why I believed it was the right thing to do, but I needed her to know what he’d asked of me—what I’d contemplated doing...”

“You mean…?”

Scott sighed, “I needed her to see what was happening with me. I wanted her to know so that she could tell me what I should do. Deep down I knew what I would do, but there was something about reaching out to her… Maybe I was seeking out validation in our marriage or our future with what was happening, but when I told her what Charles requested of me…”

“What?” Logan questioned watching something shift in his companion’s features.

“I thought she’d be furious with me for even considering following through on his request—that she would be angry with what I was saying to her, but she…she told me to just give in to it,” Scott’s face grew flushed with embarrassment and a pain that Logan couldn’t quite place when Scott’s body tightened against his chest, “She reminded me that keeping you was of the upmost importance and if that was what was needed to appease your restless nature, then so be it. She gave me her blessing.”

“So, you’re saying that…?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise when he thought of the brief flash of memory that he’d carried with him about Jean’s anger when she’d been lashing out at the other him over his attachment to Scott.

“My wife gave me permission to seduce you. I thought she’d feel betrayed—that she’d be furious with me for even considering it, but instead she encouraged me follow through and make sure I did a good enough job at pleasing you,” Scott added with a stiff, distanced tone. Whatever thoughts Scott was thinking were still guarded, still buried within the weight of a memory that Logan, himself, did not carry, “It wasn’t until I almost backed out of it that Charles let me know that it was more complicated than that. He validated my suspicions in letting me know that she’d only granted me permission to do the unthinkable because she and Bishop were together.”

“Wait a second…” Logan twisted beside him as the weight of Scott’s pain carried over into him in Scott’s truth, “So you’re saying that…?”

“Apparently, Jean and Bishop had been seeing one another long before I went out to Canada to help you and Clint. They only put things on hold between them for a brief period after the mission went sour for us. By the time we returned after taking down our objective, she felt obligated to be by my side because I’d almost...”

“Scott?”

“She only stayed with me because she felt it was her duty as my wife to be there for me,” Scott continued on clearly caught up in the memory of a time when Logan wasn’t a part of his life in this world, “Despite what I thought was going on with us trying to repair things with therapy and our time together, she’d finally moved on and I was preventing her from holding onto happiness in her life. I was keeping her from what she needed all because I…”

“Slim?”

“I should’ve seen it sooner. I should’ve felt her pain in pretending to still love me, but…” Scott trailed off when a single tear slipped down his cheek, “I felt the distance, but I don’t know how long it was happening for them. I could sense her sadness over our situation, but I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know.”

“So, you’re saying when we were in Canada dealing with the nightmare with…” Logan paused finding himself thinking about the horrors that had haunted his mind, “Abaddon, Jean was seeing Bishop?”

“Yeah they were…” Scott stopped himself. He tilted his head up to look at Logan once again with a curious expression on his face, “You remember Abaddon?”

“Yeah…I do. Unfortunately, it’s one of the few things that is still embedded in my brain,” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth when tension coiled out from the pit of his abdomen. It was there for a brief second causing him to tremble lost in the horrors he’d witnessed in his nightmares before his arm coiled around Scott tighter than before, “It’s fragmented, but the weight of what we endured is still inside. I see it in my dreams—it haunts my nightmares…”

“Then at the hospital…?” Scott trailed off as Logan’s hold on him constricted.

“I was dreaming about Canada,” Logan divulged quietly, “and the things we endured.”

“So, you remember that…?” Scott’s words fell to an uneasy silence again.

“Part of it is there deep inside my head, which is something that we need to talk about because there are still other pieces that are missing, but…”

“Not now,” Scott placed his index finger over Logan’s lips to silence his words, “not here. We can talk Logan, but Abaddon isn’t a subject that I want to bring into our bed—into our time together.”

“Fine,” Logan conceded as Scott’s finger pressed over his bottom lip, to trace the pad over Logan’s skin, “but we can’t avoid it forever. After what happened at the warehouse, we both know that…”

“I don’t want to talk about her now. Please,” Scott shook his head stubbornly. He shifted his position over Logan, keeping his focus on the man beneath him when it was clear there were still so many things that they needed to share with one another, “I want to talk about Boston before I lose my nerve…about what happened and…”

“How Charles convinced you to seduce me by letting you see that your wife was stepping out on you,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown at the actions revealed to him in Scott’s words, “He hurt you so that you would find the strength to fuck me for what? For you to seek out some twisted type of revenge and lashing out at Jean for doing the same with Bishop?”

“No,” Scott clarified with a frown, “it wasn’t about revenge. It was never about that.”

“Then what was it about?” Logan questioned remembering the anger he’d been presented with by his other self, “Why would he do that?”

“I suppose it was Charles’ way of trying to make me feel less guilt over what I was doing in breaking my vows, but at the same time…” Scott attempted to rationalize what had taken place back in Boston.

“What was it for you Slim?” Logan blurted out unable to quell the nagging questions in the back of his mind, “What did it mean to you?”

“It was a mission. Charles convinced me that doing it would prove vital to the team. We needed you to stay because losing you would be the end of us. I told myself that…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip nervously in a clear attempt to shield his betraying thoughts, “I just knew that if Charles was asking it…”

“He shouldn’t have asked that out of you,” Logan replied contemplating Scott’s words when he found himself recalling the sheer rage and animosity that the other him carried in response to Scott’s betrayal.

“No, he shouldn’t, but I shouldn’t have agreed. I knew it was cruel—that it was wrong,” Scott paused tilting his head up to look at Logan, “I shouldn’t have…”

“But you did it regardless even knowing that you had second thoughts about the situation—about being with me…him like that,” Logan finished thinking about all that they’d discussed with one another in their truth telling session.

Scott nodded, “I just decided somewhere along the line that it was what I needed to do. Charles made the request, Jean encouraged me to follow through and I just… I didn’t know what to do. Deep down I had a sense of what was right, but I went against my instincts and seduced him. I made love to him…promising him things that we both knew could never happen, but…”

“But what?”

“There was something inside of me that was missing. I was numb,” Scott confessed guiltily as it seemed he was processing the weight of his truth, “I knew it was wrong, but I just shut down—turning off that part of me that knew better—that deserved to give him better all because of some misguided, robotic sense of duty.”

“Scott,” Logan’s brow creased with concern watching as Scott’s face contorted with the memory that was his alone about his time with the other Logan.

“I just kept going through the motions like some twisted puppet who just stepped outside of himself,” Scott swallowed down hard, choking back the emotion that accompanied his harsh words over his actions, “That’s not an excuse by any means considering I know what a horrible, son of a bitch I am. It was wrong. I know that I don’t deserve his forgiveness or yours. I know now that I can never take that back—I can never erase what I did. I used his feelings for me against him, manipulating him into my bed and…”

“But that night in the motel when you and I first slept together…when I questioned if we’d ever…” Logan gave Scott another curious look when another altogether different thought carried over him, “You said that we’d never…”

“We hadn’t. What I mean is that we hadn’t done it _that_ way,” Scott’s face grew a deep shade of crimson when something shifted in their conversation taking them from the weight of Scott’s guilt to something far different between them. Scott cleared his throat, turning his head away from Logan before he spoke up again with an uncertainty in his tone, “Back in Boston we were…I was…”

“What?” Logan questioned when something registered behind Scott’s uneasiness in his confession causing Logan to realize what Scott hadn’t said in their conversation about the night he’d shared with the other Logan, “Oh. You mean he was…”

“Quite enthusiastically,” Scott confessed with a hint of a smile turning to face Logan again when the mood took a surprising twist between them away from the darkness of their conversation, “and it was nice. Really nice.”

“Wow…” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise, “so then when you both were together you were…?”

“Even though I convinced myself I was simply going through the motions before that point, it wasn’t true,” Scott paused weighing out his thoughts when the memory caused his face to involuntarily flush, “When we were together something changed inside of me—something that I couldn’t ignore. As much as I wanted to pretend that I was simply following an order, there was something about having him around me that just…made it more real than I’d anticipated at the time. It wasn’t about the mission any longer.”

“Because you wanted him?” Logan questioned squeezing his arm around Scott tighter than before. For a brief, fleeting moment jealously coiled in over his abdomen imagining his other self and Scott intertwined together, caught up in the throes of passion that Logan hadn’t been there to experience with the man above him.

Scott’s face reddened as he nodded, “It was intense and exciting and as much as I hated to admit it at the time, it felt so good…almost right until the weight of the circumstances hit me.”

“So, you’re saying that you like to…?” Logan’s eyes widened as he found himself unable to shake the idea of Scott’s night in Boston with the other him. There was something so very different in their dynamic, yet Logan found himself rather captivated by the idea of what Scott was saying about the contrasting subtleties surrounding the first time Scott and his other self had made love.

“Didn’t your Scott?” Scott questioned with a tilt of his head gauging Logan’s reaction to Scott’s response.

“I mean…I guess he and I never really took the time to talk about…” Logan found himself at a pivotal moment intrigued by the new information presented to him, “versatility.”

“It provides quite the adventure in spicing up things in the bedroom,” Scott’s face grew hotter in his admission. His face grew bright red, caught up in the thoughts that surrounded his confession to Logan, “I know that we probably shouldn’t talk about this given that sex is such a taboo subject especially now considering what we’ve been discussing with you and I being different to one another, but…”

“No,” Logan insisted drawing lazy circles up and over Scott’s spine to take in the man above him. With each tender touch, he found himself gazing up at a man he’d only learned to discover, but with each layer revealed to him, he found himself beyond fascinated, “we should. We’ve spent so much time surrounded by doom and gloom that maybe it’s time for a break from all the reality.”

“We both know that we can’t ever truly escape our reality,” Scott sighed rubbing his fingers over the center of Logan’s chest. His index finger swirled over Logan’s nipple, skimming over the peak as his mouth hovered over Logan’s lost in contemplation.

“Maybe not, but we’ve explored enough for today,” Logan gripped Scott’s hips, crushing Scott over him decidedly, “I think I’d rather enjoy knowing more about what you like considering that…”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate the dynamics of sex Logan because I do,” Scott revealed in a low, sultry tone.

“No kidding,” Logan teased feeling himself hotter than he’d imagined with Scott above him, naked and stretched out over his body.

“I’m fascinated with the idea of it… I enjoy having it…quite a lot actually when the situation presents itself in the right light,” Scott divulged lowering his voice to almost a whisper. He dipped down to nibble on Logan’s bottom lip, gently nipping and tugging upon it before drawing back, “maybe not more than any other man, but I’d like to think that I have a certain sense of adventure in the bedroom.”

“I can see that,” Logan’s fingertip traced over the curve of Scott’s shoulder, “You’re rather enthusiastic as far as I can tell and…”

“I abstained for so long when Jean and I were falling apart, but the hunger was still there burning inside of me—making me yearn for something that could quench this thirst that never escapes me,” Scott’s face grew hotter in his admission. He swallowed down hard before sliding over Logan once again, “When you started going to those trials, I kept wondering what you were doing—thinking about how you were sneaking out and wondering if there was someone that you were…”

“What?” Logan questioned catching the deep crimson shade that carried over Scott’s features.

“Sleeping with,” Scott confessed guiltily as his body seemed to warm up to the touch. He shifted over Logan making no mistake about the desire resonating from his skin as Logan held him, “I had no place to stake a claim on you after I hurt you, but I couldn’t stop thinking about your touch—about your body pressed to mine, drenched in sweat and melded together so hot and wild…so damn delicious and…”

“Slim…” Logan felt the tease of Scott’s fingers upon his skin, warming him up in places he hadn’t thought to return to after their conversation had taken a serious turn between them.

“Each night when you’d returned after being in the trials, I would be waiting for you. I’d secretly watch from my window, unable to avoid thinking about your return—wondering what you were doing when you were gone. For so long I would fantasize about you,” Scott confessed in a shivering exhale, “I would imagine you’d discover me and be angry that I was spying on you. I’d pretend that my actions would provoke you to the point that you would stomp up into my room and lash out at me for being so invasive. In my head you would be so angry with me—so frustrated with my offensive behavior knowing that I’d crossed a line I shouldn’t and then you would decide to teach me a lesson for my misconduct by having your way with me.”

“Is that right?” Logan arched a curious brow seeing the way that Scott licked his lips.

“Sometimes in my mind I would halfheartedly fight you on it—I’d tell you to go to hell and to get out of my room, but you’d refuse and make me submit. You’d punish me—force me to please you to make up for how I’d hurt you in Boston. You’d always be so angry and wild treating me like some dirty plaything, but I knew it was what I deserved and I wanted it more than anything,” Scott confessed with a sharp exhale, his body shuddering as the thought rocked over him, “Sometimes the thought was so overwhelming that I would touch myself. I would watch you and fantasize and…”

“Did you come undone imagining that I was touching you?” Logan’s voice grew darker when the image of Scott jerking off suddenly excited him. He felt Scott nod and shift twisting over Logan with the admission. His breath spilled from his lips in a small whimper when Logan watched his lover closely evaluating his every response, “Did it feel good to imagine that I was ravishing you?”

“I came so hard,” Scott spoke up in a naughty, salacious whisper, “thinking about the idea of you pushing me around, fucking me, forcing me to submit and punishing me for the things I’d done.”

“You wanted me to…punish you?” Logan questioned tilting his head to gauge Scott’s reaction, “How?”

“I have this paddle tucked away in my drawer that you gave to me as an engagement present when you’d teased me about being whipped. I pretended to be disgusted by it, but I always kept it there beside the bed fantasizing that one day you’d use it on me…” Scott blurted out in a brazen declaration of lust and desire. He bit down on his bottom lip as if to suppress the thoughts that revealed themselves without any filter upon them.

“Is that right?” Logan watched the expression on Scott’s face twist, revealing something carnal in their exchange that Logan hadn’t expected.

“Did your other me like to…” Scott dipped down nuzzling Logan’s nose with his when it was clear something had shifted between them taking them from their poignant truths to something far more primitive between them, “fuck?”

“Quite frequently and rather enthusiastically,” Logan curled his arm around Scott, taking advantage of the moment and flipping Scott over onto his back on the opposite side of the mattress. Leaning over him, Logan touched the side of Scott’s face watching the way that Scott’s lips parted in response. When Logan’s fingertip traced over Scott’s bottom lip, Scott offered up a playful nip feeding into the new mood between them, “He rather enjoyed my cock.”

“Smart boy,” Scott mouthed arching up off the bed just enough to meet Logan’s lips in a slow, drawn out tease, “because I happen to find myself increasingly drawn to it. The way you taste, the way you feel inside of me…buried deep inside of me and…”

“Scott, what are we doing?” Logan questioned pushing himself up on his elbows over Scott all over again. Sucking in a sharp breath, Logan tried to quell the lust brewing deep beneath the surface as his lover lay spread out beneath him looking even sexier than Logan had imagined when they’d found their way into one another’s arms.

“Talking,” Scott answered with a simple shrug as his arms surrounded Logan’s broad shoulders coaxing Logan to move in closer to him, “Learning more about each other.”

“Is that what we’re doing?” Logan asked lazily dipping down to nip at Scott’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Scott sighed scratching his nails down over Logan’s spine, hoping to spark a reaction inside of him, “I like to be inside you too. I’d only gotten one taste of it, but it was delicious.”

“Slim?” Logan questioned pulling away from him again to discover the color that rose over his features had now spread out over Scott’s lean, muscular frame causing warmth to carry over his savory, delectable skin.

“If I’m honest, I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m rather intrigued by trying new things to enhance the experience,” Scott confessed with a naughty, salacious smirk. He shifted on the mattress seemingly scrutinizing Logan above him when his confession fell from his lips in a low, pinched hiss, “Before we fell apart Jean and I often experimented with toys before…”

“You mean you…?” Logan’s voice hitched with excitement he was certain that he shouldn’t be experiencing in the moment with Scott spilling his secrets to him.

“It wasn’t anything like it is being with you, but it’s…” Scott’s fingers trailed over the center of Logan’s chest taking the time to trace the contours of his body before tapering off over Logan’s abdomen, “exciting.”

“Then who am I to opt out of a little excitement,” Logan leaned in to collect Scott’s lips in a brief, urgent kiss. Wordlessly he pinned Scott down on the bed beneath him again, finding himself more intrigued by the man before him. As Logan’s hands spread out over Scott’s body, he felt a surprising warmth bubbling beneath Scott’s skin making him hotter to the touch than Logan had anticipated as their kiss expanded. The distinct taste of lust coiled off Scott, pushing into Logan in ways that Logan hadn’t experienced before when Scott’s arms surrounded Logan, “If you’d like to switch it up a bit…”

“Mmmm…the things I could do to you if you were interested,” Scott slurred arching up to nip on Logan’s lower lip once again, “I know this body in ways that…”

“I think we could grow very accustomed to exploring,” Logan moved into kiss Scott again. There was a change in the air around them, causing Logan’s appetite to intensify, his body to respond with animalistic hunger to Scott’s teasing, practically needing to lose himself in the taste of Scott when he felt Scott pull away abruptly.

“Logan wait,” Scott half pleaded taking in a labored breath when Logan hovered over him. He could almost hear Scott’s heart hammering in his chest, but it was in the heat that carried over his skin that Logan found himself suddenly concerned.

“Scott,” Logan reached out to touch the side of his face when it seemed Scott was caught up in something that went beyond them, “you’re burning up. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. It’s just…” Scott fought to get the words out as his arms surrounded Logan.

“What’s wrong?” Logan questioned again watching as a wave of emotions carried over Scott’s expression transforming his lust to conflict, to recognition in his actions.

“What are we doing?” Scott questioned with a shake of his head. His lips parted and closed a few times as if he was struggling to keep his breathing even before finally, Scott spoke up again in a much less frantic tone. He twisted on the sheet beneath Logan letting out a small gasp before he reached out to touch the side of Logan’s face, as if the gesture alone would be enough to help him regain control of his thoughts, “I told you the truth and yet…”

“It doesn’t change anything,” Logan promised him. He dipped down again contemplating another kiss before pulling back and looking to Scott, “In knowing my truth, does that make you want to run away?”

“No. It’s crazy, but I don’t want to lose you again. I know that it shouldn’t be that simple, but if I’m honest I don’t want to let you go. There’s something about this that feels…,” Scott confessed when the scent of guilt passed between them taking Scott from his heightened state of arousal, to something reminiscent of the earlier mood that had lingered between them.

“Like what?” Logan questioned watching him closely as Scott struggled to contain his thoughts.

“Like home,” Scott answered readily. His voice was low and determined, but there was no mistaking the hunger burning beneath the surface as they were wrapped up in one another’s embrace, “I need you in my life Logan and I don’t want to pretend that I don’t.”

“So, don’t fight it,” Logan whispered dipping down to kiss Scott’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to, but at the same time…this won’t be easy,” Scott seemed to ponder Logan’s suggestion about embracing their connection, “I can’t promise you that we’ll fall in love and live happily ever after with one another.”

“As long as you leave the door open to the possibility, then maybe we can work on the rest,” Logan suggested searching Scott’s features again when it was clear Scott was weighing out the options of their potential future together, “What do you say Slim? Would you consider falling in love with me?”

“I’m incapable of such an emotion,” Scott’s face grew flushed when he started to turn away only to feel Logan’s finger curl underneath Scott’s chin to force Scott to look up at him once again.

“Liar,” Logan moved in to kiss him again, this time finding himself rewarded by the naughty tease of Scott’s lips against his.

“Maybe,” Scott decided bringing his arms around Logan’s shoulders, preparing to pull him in for another heavy kissing session when the buzzing of the phone on the nightstand pulled them from the moment, “Shit, it’s probably Charles.”

“Why is that?” Logan asked watching Scott’s phone dance on the nightstand beside them.

“Because I left him that message last night,” Scott stopped himself when he opted to stretch his arm out from beneath Logan to reach for his phone instead. As soon as he grabbed it, the caller seemingly hung up. He set it back down on the nightstand again before looking over at Logan once more, “On second thought, where were we?”

“Right about…here…” Logan moved into kiss Scott again when there was a beeping sound coming from Scott’s phone once again stealing the moment between them. Without having to be asked, Logan pushed up on his elbows allowing Scott the opportunity to reach for his phone to investigate the situation.

“Voicemail,” Scott explained reaching for his phone again. He twisted on the sheet, bringing his phone to his ear after he pushed a button. He turned onto his side, causing Logan to slide off him opting instead to wait watching Scott taking in the caller’s words, listening until finally Scott looked over at Logan again, “That was Maria. They’ve found a new lead on Markus and his whereabouts that she and Natasha want to discuss with us.”

“Where?” Logan questioned running his fingers through his wild, messy hair as Scott sat upright to replay the message again. He seemed caught up in deep thought immersing himself in Maria’s words as Logan wondered just what the future would hold in store for them with the threat of Markus still lingering upon them.

“She wants us to meet up with them in a couple of days after they see if it checks out,” Scott continued to hash out the details of the message. He rubbed his palm over the top of his own knee after he’d sat upright on the bed leaving passion behind in favor of returning to their impossible mission, “She mentioned that there’s something else here in Kingston that she wanted to check out before…”

“We’re still in Kingston?” Logan questioned looking around the motel room and taking it in for the first time beyond the generic style of the room around him. At the time he’d awakened with Scott over him taunting and teasing him, he hadn’t given it much thought, but now the familiarity of the decorations was more than apparent.

“Markus made a move in on me when you were in the hospital,” Scott confessed drawing in an uneasy breath. He set his phone down on the nightstand beside the bed before rolling over to face Logan again. Stretching out over the mattress, he reached out to touch the side of Logan’s face when it was clear Maria’s call had caused Scott’s solemn mood to return, “When you were fighting for your life, he found a way to orchestrate a telepathic attack on me.”

“He what?” Logan asked thinking about the threat that the man after Scott posed to their future.

“I don’t know how he managed it, but he broke through my walls somehow,” Scott divulged with an uneasiness in his tone, “He was able to penetrate a place that only one other person had been able to gain access to without permission. Once he was inside…”

“What happened Slim?” Logan probed bringing his palm up over Scott’s hand on his cheek, “What did he do?”

“He reminded me that I’m not invulnerable,” Scott answered cryptically, “None of us are which is why we needed to take action. After he contacted me, he wormed his way into the hospital’s security system and caused it to malfunction.”

“How did he…?” Logan asked as the warmth of Scott’s fingers against his caused Logan’s thoughts to darken, to remember the dangers that his nightmares had warned him of in his time in the hospital.

“Markus has means that the rest of us don’t,” Scott explained quietly, as if speaking the words would somehow make them more real than if he’d kept them locked away inside of his head, “Being that he’s not human anymore he has ways of doing things that give him an edge in all of this. He’s evolved and in doing so the rules no longer apply to him.”

“He’s not invincible Slim,” Logan replied wondering if there was truth to his statement as he squeezed his fingers over Scott’s again, hoping like hell that he could convince his lover that they weren’t beyond beating Markus at the twisted game he’d initiated with them.

“No, he’s not,” Scott agreed. He hesitated seemingly caught up in his thoughts before looking over to Logan once again, “Time and time again he’s always been one step ahead of us, but I knew that there had to be someone guiding him through the process. He couldn’t have done it alone, but to admit to the fact that he was infallible meant that there was someone else out there pulling his strings…guiding him along if you will…”

“So, he has a partner?” Logan deduced watching Scott’s face twist in contemplation.

“Perhaps,” Scott replied with a dramatic pause, “or maybe it is insight that only he could obtain in his quest for power.”

“Meaning?” Logan questioned arching a curious brow.

“That we’ve underestimated Markus by running around in circles anticipating his next move,” Scott explained in a smooth and even tone, seemingly slipping away from his apprehension long enough to get lost in contemplations, “He knew that we would be trying to be one step ahead of the game—that we would be planning our next move and in doing so we gave him an opening to attack.”

“Slim, I’m not following,” Logan frowned when he realized that whatever was going on in Scott’s mind hadn’t been something Scott was ready to share with Logan.

With Logan’s question Scott seemed to shake the thought before speaking up again, “I knew that the only way to keep us safe was to keep us under the grid. After the attack at the hospital, I realized that Markus wouldn’t expect us to stay close given that he tried to intimidate me. He would expect me to run—to go back to the school where he could find a new way inside of our world and…”

“Put the others in danger,” Logan realized with a frown when it became painfully obvious that his participation in the trials had only worked to further whatever dark agenda that Markus had against them, “He knew that was what we would do because he saw through me that...”

“He attempted to exploit a pattern of behavior,” Scott explained with a small shrug when it was clear he was juggling his thoughts once again, “So I went under the radar knowing it was the last thing he would come to expect from us. He wanted us to run. He was expecting it.”

“In us going to get help at the school,” Logan noted realizing that the wheels were turning in Scott’s mind again.

“Which is why I didn’t,” Scott looked over at Logan once again with a newfound determination in his tone, “At the hospital I made a big ordeal about us leaving and going as far from this as possible. I made it painfully obvious that I was shaken by what he did and that I didn’t trust anything happening in the hospital. I stressed that we needed to get far away and…”

“You knew that he would be keeping an eye on you,” Logan finished knowingly as he found himself wondering what else he’d missed out on with Scott during the time Logan was unconscious, “That he was watching and waiting for you to make a move…”

“And when I did, I made sure to give him what he believed he would get out of me,” Scott added further, “He saw us leave the hospital in my car, but what he didn’t see was my putting it into storage out of town miles from here at a safe house before I doubled back to this motel in a rental.”

“You mean…” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“No one in their right mind stays in places like this willingly and if they do, they do it because these dumps offer up a sense of anonymity,” Scott explained further as Logan found himself remembering the shady surroundings of the motel they’d briefly stayed in on their way into town.

“Because the only camera they have is at the front desk and it’s…” Logan deduced thinking aloud as he could see the wheels turning in Scott’s mind.

“…been broken for years,” Scott finished reminding Logan of the layout of the motel’s interior from their earlier visit to the same establishment before Logan’s hospitalization, “Our being here is only temporarily, but this might buy us the time we need to get more intel on Markus because here no one is going to ask any questions.”

“Because they know not to,” Logan added weighing out his companion’s words.

“This is the kind of place where people lay low when they are running from something…” Scott’s voice grew distanced as it was clear that their mission was on the front burner in his mind.

“Is that what we’re doing Slim?” Logan couldn’t help, but question as he thought of the twists and turns their mission had taken once Scott had been unwillingly sucked into the trials after Logan’s impulsive decision to help his friend had landed him in hot water, “Are we running in hiding from Markus?”

“No. I’m taking the time to regroup and let you recover while we figure things out,” Scott answered honestly, “I knew that taking you out of the hospital was risky when I did it, but I didn’t want to wait any longer than I had to before…”

“How bad is it?” Logan almost hated to ask in remembering the answers he hadn’t been given at the hospital.

“Maria gave you something to stabilize the effects of the Euphoria,” Scott answered reaching out to touch the side of Logan’s face, as if the action in itself would soothe his companion in Scott’s truth, “but there’s no telling about the long term. Given how much Euphoria you’d taken…”

“You think it’s possible for me to have a regression,” Logan half questioned feeling Scott’s hand drop down to the center of Logan’s chest where it had been ripped to pieces not long ago.

“I don’t know. I wanted to keep you close to the hospital just in case you faced any kind of backlash,” Scott divulged lost in quiet contemplation as his fingers pressed over Logan’s perfectly healed skin, “Your cardiologist said that it was a miracle—that any other man wouldn’t have survived what happened, but you…you’re so strong. You’ve surmounted incredible odds and cheated death once again, but if we don’t keep on top of it...”

“I’m still here,” Logan attempted to pull Scott from his thoughts long enough to redirection Scott’s attention back to his face, “I’m fine Slim.”

“For now, but I’m not taking any chances,” Scott decided seemingly shaking the thoughts that troubled him, “I can’t afford to lose you again Logan.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Logan answered readily pulling Scott into an embrace, “Both personally and professionally I’m yours Slim. Whatever you ask of me…”

“We both know you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep,” Scott leaned forward to silence him with a tender kiss.

“I’m not leaving you,” Logan promised with a newfound determination, “After I went through hell to find you again, nothing is going to stop me from being with you. I’ve waited too long to find you again.”

“I hope I’m worth the pain you’ve endured,” Scott sighed caught up in a poignant moment of recall when it was clear that his thoughts were on Logan’s double lost in another time and place.

“You’re the one thing in this and every world that makes everything matter,” Logan promised pulling Scott in against him, “I love you Slim.”

“I…” Scott found himself struggling to get the words out when Logan pressed his index finger over Scott’s kiss swelled lips to silence him.

“..aren’t ready for what comes next,” Logan finished with a sigh as he released Scott’s mouth simply taking the time to trace Scott’s sharp jawline with his touch, “but promise me that when the time arrives that you won’t discount what you feel for me, yes?”

Scott nodded offering up the simple response to Logan’s questioning.

“That’s all I could ask for,” Logan decided leaning forward to press a kiss over Scott’s head, “and just so that we’re clear Slim the next time we do this…it won’t be until you are absolutely certain that this is what you want.”

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned raising his chin up to meet Logan’s concerned eyes.

“As much as I want you, I don’t want you to sleep with me unless you’re certain that you want to,” Logan blurted out despite his body’s natural reaction to holding Scott close, “As much as I know how right this feels for me, I don’t want there to be any question about what is happening here from you. I want this only when you want it.”

“Logan, I already told you that…” Scott opened his mouth to protest when Logan leaned forward to silence him with a kiss.

“When we make love again, you’ll know that it’s right. It won’t be because of a misguided sense of duty or because you need to punish yourself for something that you think you did wrong. Instead it will be because you want it—because you want me. You’ll know because we both will need it more than anything. You’ll want me and that will be the only reason it happens for us,” Logan promised skimming his lips over Scott’s in a slow, drawn out tease, “I like sex just as much as the next guy especially with you, but I’ll enjoy it even more when I’m certain that you want to be having sex with me for the right reasons…just because you crave me like I crave you.”

“I do want to be with you,” Scott divulged meeting his lips in another urgent kiss, “I told you that for me sex is…”

“Something we’ll take our time experiencing together when it feels right without question. When you’re sure, then I will feed into each one of your fantasies satiating your hunger Slim. No matter how dark your desires might feel, I will do everything in my power to indulge each and every one of them when you’re ready to let me in completely,” Logan promised kissing Scott once again, “but until then I think we should focus on what we need to do to get Markus out of our lives once and for all.”

“I agree,” Scott sighed keeping his forehead against Logan’s as the weight of Logan’s words carried over him, “Putting this off with him won’t make defeating him any easier.”

“But we will defeat him,” Logan answered decidedly knowing that they were about to face a fight unlike any they’d ever known before Markus had entered their lives.

“Eventually we will find a way to take him under,” Scott agreed stroking the side of Logan’s face, “and when that happens.”

“Then we’ll be free,” Logan added as Scott pressed his forehead against his once again, “I’m so sorry that I invited this monster into our lives by being a part of those trials…”

“You were only trying to hold onto something special in your life Logan,” Scott sighed. His warm breath spilled over onto Logan as they held one another, “You were trying to process the changes in your life and…”

“I sent us down the wrong path, putting the both of us at risk when all I ever wanted was to love you,” Logan answered unable to mask the weight of the guilt that carried over him, “If I’d only been smarter about this…”

“We couldn’t have foreseen this particular problem. Markus was a variable neither one of us could’ve predicted much like…” Scott stopped himself as his arms surrounded Logan once again, “We’ll finish this. We’ll lay low in Kingston and…”

“Why Kingston?” Logan couldn’t help, but question, “Granted I understand your thoughts on staying close, but why not go out a little bit more to put more of a distance between us? There were plenty of places we could’ve hidden at, but…”

“I don’t know,” Scott shrugged his shoulders simply, “Maybe a part of me didn’t want our last time together in this room to be with you disappointed in what I said before I almost lost you.”

“Slim?” Logan questioned pulling back just enough to scrutinize his lover once again.

“I didn’t handle things properly before we went to the warehouse and I just…” Scott shook the thoughts running wild in his mind, “I just didn’t want to leave it off on a sour note given that the last time we were spending significant time in a motel room together we fell apart and…”

“That was another life,” Logan reached out to press his index finger over Scott’s lips to silence him, “To get through this we can’t keep looking back.”

“I know,” Scott nodded drawing in a breath as Logan realized it would take Scott time to adjust to the discoveries that they’d made in one another.

“So, what’s next?” Logan questioned giving Scott an out to the questions that were still running wild through his mind over Logan’s truths.

“We continue to stay close until we meet with Maria and Natasha. Maria still isn’t happy with me in my decision to take you from the hospital,” Scott explained further as Logan could see the wheels turning in his lover’s mind, “She really didn’t want us to leave, but I felt like we had no choice in the matter if we were going to be one step ahead of Markus.”

“Did you tell her where we are?” Logan couldn’t help but ask thinking about Scott’s association with Maria.

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly, “no one knows where we are except for Clint.”

“You told Clint our location?” Logan’s questioned unable to mask his surprise in Scott’s admission, “You sure that’s a good idea considering that…?”

“I promised Clint that we would help him find his daughter once you were on your feet again,” Scott divulged giving Logan a long, curious once over, “Back at the warehouse…”

“You gave him information on how to find her,” Logan finished with a nod. Remembering his conversation with his friend, he found himself contemplating Scott’s decision to give Clint access to their plans, “Yeah he told me, but considering all that’s going on with him and Maria…”

“Maria’s freezing him out of the mission, which I don’t entirely agree with,” Scott explained stroking the side of Logan’s face, “I’m not saying he’s fit for field work, but…”

“You didn’t want to make him believe he wasn’t a part of the team now that his daughter is a part of this,” Logan realized catching the expression on Scott’s face, “You gave him something to hold onto in all of this so that…”

“I can see Maria’s struggling on how to handle this one due to their…relationship with one another,” Scott nodded in confession, “She’s making decisions based on emotion, which happens, but…”

“You’re worried what will become of Clint if he gets thrown out of this entirely,” Logan added catching the somber expression on Scott’s face, “You know what Canada did to him and…”

“A man needs something to believe in even if he’s lost everything along the way,” Scott explained somberly as Logan wondered if Scott was speaking about Clint or himself in that moment. Still before Logan could question Scott’s words, Scott shook the thought, “When you were in the hospital, Clint never left your side. I knew that if you were ever in any kind of real trouble, he wouldn’t hesitate to do everything in his power to save you. He’s proven himself loyal time and time again in your friendship, which is why I knew that I could trust him. Regardless of how he feels about Maria, I knew our secret was safe with him.”

“Clint and I are good friends,” Logan replied thinking about the time he’d spent with Clint alone in his hospital room before he and Scott had found their way to the motel, “We’ve been through a lot together. We’ve seen the worst of the world at one another’s side and shared in so many things through the years, haven’t we?”

“You have. You weren’t one for outwardly making friends…not that I’m one to judge, but there was something about Clint that always seemed to work for you. I don’t know how it started, but he took to you in ways that most people haven’t,” Scott added before another thought carried over him, “In your world were you two close to one another?”

“I barely talked to him. I honestly can’t recall us ever having a real conversation that didn’t end with a few curse words involved,” Logan divulged guiltily. He looked away from Scott thinking about the changes in his new life before him, “We’d crossed paths a couple of times when the Avengers rolled into town, but I didn’t get too involved with that.”

“The Avengers?” Scott questioned watching Logan nod again, “You mean you weren’t…?”

“An Avenger?” Logan blurted out unable to suppress the laugh that carried over him, “Fuck no. You can see what those guys do. The way they would come in every now and then start acting like they were running the show would usually piss me off if we crossed paths along the way.”

“They can be a real pain in the ass,” Scott agreed with the beginnings of a smirk carrying over his lips. Almost as soon as it revealed itself, it slipped away returning to the neutral expression that Scott often carried with him, “The point is that in this situation we need to be surrounded by people we know we can trust. We are on our own in all of this. I know we talked about going home to figure things out before Markus made his last attack, but this plan felt better for all of us. There are things we need to deal with before we can return to the school.”

“And keeping the others safe is our top priority,” Logan agreed unable to resist the urge to run his fingers through Scott’s messy dark hair to keep the contact between them, “It was smart not to bring them into this. You made the right choice Slim.”

“Markus is dangerous and now that he’s dealing with Abaddon,” Scott leaned into Logan’s touch. He let out a sigh seemingly contemplating the situation that they’d found themselves in, “Logan, there’s just so much that you and I both need to touch base on especially now that we have this new hurdle to work through.”

“With my memory loss?” Logan questioned watching Scott’s face twist with unspoken tension again.

“With our lack of history between us,” Scott clarified with a scowl as his hand pushed up over Logan’s over the side of his face, “If you and I haven’t been working together as a team for the years we put behind us, then we need to find a way to tap into what it was that you had with the other me so that we can force the kind of bond we need to be successful in all of this.”

“We’ve already started that,” Logan reminded him with a small kiss upon Scott’s forehead. Drawing back Logan found himself cupping Scott’s face in his hands, “Slim, just because I come from a different world doesn’t mean that…”

“…you aren’t weighed down by the old biases that he had,” Scott continued to explain himself when they lay together in the center of the motel room bed, “In some ways that makes you an asset in ways he couldn’t be because you won’t allow our history to skew your thoughts on the mission. You won’t be so angry that you can’t do what is necessary to…”

“He might’ve been angry with you Slim, but he would’ve still laid his life down for you,” Logan blurted out as Scott shifted beside him. Skimming his index finger over the hollow of Scott’s cheekbone, he coaxed Scott to look at him once again, “You realize that, don’t you?”

“I know that,” Scott sighed involuntarily leaning into Logan’s warm touch.

“And I’d readily do the same,” Logan promised moving to meet Scott’s now parted lips in a slow tease of a kiss. When he felt Scott’s chin arch up towards him reciprocating the soft gesture, Logan couldn’t help but find himself filled with a new sense of hope at the progress they were making between them.

“You’ve already more than proven that Logan,” Scott replied placing his palm over the center of Logan’s touch. He gently rubbed at the center, stroking his hair-dusted skin with quiet thought and contemplation in their time together.

“Then know that whatever comes next—wherever this goes, with the two of us, I’ve always got your back Slim. That will never change.”

“To earn someone’s trust you have to be worthy of it,” Scott reminded him with a poignant sigh, “and I want to be able to say that I’m worthy of you and your devotion.”

“So, then let’s skip through the bullshit and stay out here for a while to figure things out,” Logan decided thinking about what Scott was saying to him.

“For now, this works, but we can’t just lose ourselves to this in the room forever,” Scott motioned to the bed they were surrounded by, “As much as I’d like to say this is an optimal solution for us to set up base, it isn’t. Markus is going to realize that I offered up misdirection. Before that happens, I’m going to need to plan things and get prepared for battle considering that…”

“So, you plan while I find us a safe house for a bit to help you work through your thoughts,” Logan explained propping himself up on his elbows to hover over Scott, “Let me work out that part of things.”

“We have to stay under the radar,” Scott reminded him when his arms surrounded Logan’s shoulders, simply content to hold Logan over him, “I need to formulate a plan of attack that Markus won’t see coming and…”

“And we can do just that, but instead of doing it in places like this where you won’t have room to stew over your options and take the time to do the research I know you’ve been eager to get your hands upon,” Logan motioned to the rundown motel room around them, “Let’s find somewhere a little more fitting for us to regroup.”

“Such as?”

“We stay local to keep Markus off our trail, but we do it somewhere that no one would think to find us,” Logan suggested realizing that the solution to their problems were within his reach, “Norm has a farm off the grid in Rhinebeck just across the Hudson. It’s just a few minutes from where we are now and…”

“Norm?” Scott repeated tilting his head to the side and looking at up Logan.

“Yeah,” Logan nodded, “He’s the one that got me into the project. Remember I told you about him?”

“Right,” Scott replied after a moment of quiet contemplation, “He was the one whose granddaughter disappeared and…”

“He recruited me for this,” Logan finished knowing that it went without saying as it was clear Scott had already replayed the conversation that they’d once shared with one another in his mind all over again.

“And this farm of his?” Scott paused, “It’s private?”

“Extremely,” Logan answered inspired by his idea, “There’s quite a few acres all around his place in the center of the woods by the river and…”

“I see,” Scott’s lips pinched together in deep thought, “And you think that he’d be willing to let us stay with him for a while?”

“He won’t be there,” Logan explained remembering his earlier encounter with his long-lost friend before he’d set out to enter into the trials, “His place in Rhinebeck is empty this time of year. He’s got another place in the city that he prefers to be at when he’s not in Rhinebeck for the summer and…”

“You think he’d be willing to let us crash there?”

“Yeah. I’d say he’d be more than willing considering that he owes me more than a few at this point for the shitstorm he pulled us into,” Logan answered with a newfound determination in his voice, “He owes me quite a lot if I’m honest. I can just call him and see if he’s alright with our stopping by for a bit and…”

“And you’re sure it’s safe?”

“Trust me. Norm might be connected, but he’s always got his guard up. He’s in the system with his job, but he’s never enjoyed being a part of it,” Logan continued thinking about his friend who’d recruited him, “He’s careful to make sure that his farm is off the grid as not many know about it. It’s been in the family for years, but he’s made sure to keep it far from anyone who could cause a threat to the sanctity of it. He’s installed various security measures and…”

“Just what does he do Logan?” Scott couldn’t help, but question, “Maria also mentioned that he was connected given that he was able to work your way into the trials, but…”

“It’s classified,” Logan answered cryptically only to receive a scowl.

“I’m going to need more than that to go on if you expect me to believe that we’re going to be safe at his farm,” Scott cautioned with a frown.

“It’s a long story, but I promise I will tell you everything once I know we’re in the clear to stay at the farm. I already know where the spare key to the guest house is and…”

“He told you where his spare key is?” Scott arched a curious brow.

“I’ve been there before,” Logan paused feeling a moment of hesitation carry over him, “years ago.”

“Is that right?” Scott questioned watching him closely before another thought seemed to carry over him, “How often?”

“For a period, I was there quite a lot. It was a long time ago Slim, but there was a year or so where I crashed with him after the war,” Logan swallowed down hard before looking away from his lover, “Norm and I were…close.”

“How close?” Scott couldn’t help but prompt him further when Logan’s uneasiness became more apparent.

“Closer than brothers,” Logan cleared his throat and forced himself to face Scott again.

“But not like brothers,” Scott prompted him further when Logan found himself swallowing down hard at his admission, “Lovers?”

Guiltily Logan nodded remembering his time years before Scott had been a part of his life. It was one of the few memories that had carried over him in both worlds as he realized that there were some things he’d never shared with his lover, “For a bit, but it was a lifetime ago. We were both a hell of a lot younger long before he went off and got married to a woman and…”

“You don’t think that will cause some kind of conflict of interest?” Scott had to ask despite the things Logan wasn’t saying to him.

“It’s not like we were in love or anything,” Logan shrugged.

“But you spent a year or so living with him,” Scott noted when Logan wondered if he detected a trace amount of jealousy in Scott’s tone.

“It wasn’t that deep. It was just…” Logan stopped himself when he caught the expression on Scott’s face, “He’s been a good friend through the years Slim.”

“Clearly.”

“Look maybe talking to him will help us get further into this investigation,” Logan suggested remembering the man who’d talked him into helping in the first place, “He might be able to shake a few things up and get further towards the truth than we can now that Markus has a target on your back. Given his connections, he’s got ways to poke around that we don’t and…”

“And you trust him even after he recruited you in the trials, yes?” Scott questioned contemplating Logan’s words, “Even knowing that he wasn’t entirely on the up and up with you about his objective in the mission?”

“He wanted to know about his granddaughter,” Logan stated firmly, “He asked me to help him because he knew that I was someone who could enter into this without…”

“…repercussions for your decisions?” Scott’s lips curved downward into a frown, “Because you being a part of the trials and subjected to Euphoria couldn’t possibly harm you?”

“Slim, he didn’t know that…” Logan argued thinking about all that he’d endured after accepting the ill-fated mission, “Why are you being skeptic about this?”

“Because I don’t know him,” Scott answered readily stretching out beneath Logan, “I know nothing about this man other than he’s somehow connected to SHIELD higher up than Maria is. I know that he found a way to bring you into this mess and you almost lost your life because of that.”

“If your friend asked for help, you would’ve done the same thing. You knew how much trouble his granddaughter was in.”

“I get that, but at the same time,” Scott paused seemingly caught up in yet another wave of contemplation, “Do you trust him Logan?”

Logan nodded, “Why wouldn’t I? He and I go way back…as old army buddies. Long before anything else we were in the war together and…”

“In this life or the last,” Scott asked wearily as the weight of Logan’s admission hung over them, “If you only knew him from before…”

“We met in Vietnam long before I went back in time,” Logan clarified with certainty in his tone, “At that point there hadn’t been any changes to my path or, well, to the other guy who had been in this life, so my relationship with Norm is entirely independent of who I am and where I came from.”

“And you absolutely sure that trust him?” Scott seemed to weigh out Logan’s words.

“At one point in time we had to trust each other with our lives much like it is with the both of us. We had to trust one another to survive and in doing that we forged a bond together,” Logan answered hoping to appease his lover’s concerns, “Norm’s a good guy. He’s been through a lot, but at the end of the day he’s always been there when I needed him.”

“Alright,” Scott nodded weighing out Logan’s words, “Then I suppose you can get into contact with him and feel things out.”

“Hell, we can always go see him first and regroup for you to get a feel for him,” Logan shrugged sensing Scott’s discomfort in the situation, “I can ask him to meet us out there if need be. Maybe he has more insight on Markus than we had before given that as you pointed out he was the one to set me up in all of this. He has more clout than I do and…”

“Would that be such a good idea in meeting with him since we’re trying to keep off the radar?” Scott asked wearily, “After everything that’s happened with Markus, I wouldn’t want to drag one more person into this unless…”

“Norm won’t take unnecessary risks unless we ask him to. He’s good at staying under the radar and he won’t give himself or us away,” Logan explained with a shake of his head. Pushing up higher on his elbows he looked down at Scott again wondering if perhaps time at Norm’s farm would provide them with what they needed to move forward in their mission, “As I said before as much as he enjoys his home out here, he tends to stick to the city. His farm out here is from his early days after the war and…”

“You two go way back,” Scott realized taking in the value of Logan’s words, “It must’ve been comforting to find a familiar face in all of this chaos that surrounds you.”

“I have found one,” Logan clarified reaching out to Scott again wondering if his words had sparked a jealousy in his lover. For a few seconds it seemed to be there bubbling beneath the surface, but now Scott’s face was filled with a neutrality revealing nothing about his thoughts. Still, in thinking about Scott’s hesitation, Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face coaxing Scott to look up at him once again, “and I don’t plan on letting him walk away from me if I can help it.”

“Logan,” Scott’s face grew flushed as Logan stroked the side of his face, encouraging Scott to keep the connection open between them.

“I love you Slim and I’m not going to give you up without a fight,” Logan promised solemnly, “You’re stuck with me whether you want to be or not.”

“Then I guess it seems that neither one of us has a choice in the matter,” Scott sighed leaning into Logan’s touch, “which means the next move we make…”

“…we make it together,” Logan finished knowing only too well that they still had a very long, dangerous road ahead of them. Somehow that thought left Logan both nervous and comforted as it was clear their mission involving Markus was far from over. However, in having Scott in his arms, he felt hope that they had something more to work towards in finding a way to solve it together free to be themselves with each other at long last.


	26. Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan reflects upon the downfall of his former life in the old world with Scott before making a bold move to secure the future with Scott in this new place they've found themselves in together.

**Invitation:** _a written or verbal request inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something._

The long, winding, picturesque road leading up to Norm’s farm appeared to be longer than Logan had remembered after his last visit to the secluded farm. At his side Scott silently sat in the passenger side of the rental pickup truck that he’d acquired to keep them under Markus’ radar. It was a stark contrast from Scott’s flashy sportscar, but oddly enough Logan felt at home behind the wheel remembering the days when he’d found himself in a similar state out in the middle of nowhere making ends meet by working with his hands. Hell, the familiarity of the countryside around him brought back memories of another life—of things that he hadn’t really contemplated until he found himself facing that place where his past and present collided with the beautiful man at his side. So much had happened, yet they still had so far to go with one another on their journey. Logan was certain of that much, but instead of pushing it, he simply reached out to adjust the jerky radio dial knob to switch to a more suitable 70s rock station reminiscent of his younger years spent at this place with Norm at his side.

_“If you ever need anything Logan, all you have to do is ask,”_ Norm’s words echoed in Logan’s mind, taking him from the phone call with his old pal to the drive leading to Rhinebeck, _“You know by now that I could never deny you anything.”_

_“Thanks, we appreciate it,”_ Logan had responded exchanging a few more pleasantries with his old friend before he’d ended the call. After he’d filled Scott in on their new hideaway and returned to the road just before dusk with Scott at his side.

Despite Scott’s initial apprehensions, he’d agreed to go along with Logan’s suggestion after Logan had made the call leading them to pack up what little they had and retreat to the farm. Granted, Scott had been on edge—caught up in things that Logan hadn’t thought to ask about, but one thing was clear. They needed to find a new place to lay low until they found their way to formulate a strong enough plan to take Markus under once and for all. As far as Logan was concerned Norm’s farm fit the bill. It was secluded, quiet, filled with security measures and serene enough to bring back some of the clarity they’d both lost after Markus had manipulated the entire operation with his games.

_That you invited into our lives by pissing it all away with your hold on the past,_ Logan thought to himself with a frown knowing full well as much as he’d like to believe they were out of the line of fire with Logan out of the trials that simply wasn’t the case. Instead Logan had only opened the door to something darker, something that Logan couldn’t quite understand as Scott promised that they would take care of things. It sounded simple enough at the time, but now thinking about the man who’d orchestrated the trials Logan couldn’t help but find himself wondering just what those plans would entail. The very idea of Markus had him shaken—caught up in thoughts Logan was certain he shouldn’t allow to consume him. There were still so many blanks in his mind—so many questions without answers as it was clear that Scott was still holding back, yet he’d hoped to achieve something more from his time away from the rest of the world.

Clearing his throat again, Logan fidgeted with the radio dial changing the channel and returning to a random local country music station. With the song on the radio and the truck’s windows cracked open just a bit the crisp, cool breeze surrounding him providing them with some fresh air to contrast the stale atmosphere of the tiny, cramped, run down room they’d left behind them. It was something Logan realized he’d never be able to get enough of as he thought of just how little time that he’d taken to be one with nature. It sounded silly, but the further he drove across the dirt road into the countryside, the closer he found himself to the serenity that he’d once surrounded himself by long before he’d dealt with the world crashing to pieces all around him.

_“You know you can do anything Logan,”_ Scott’s voice echoed in his mind causing him to tilt his head to the side. He glanced at his lover realizing that the words hadn’t fallen from his companion’s lips, but rather from deep inside of his mind as a wave of memory bristled in his subconscious. It pulled him further from the present taking him down a dark road when he could see himself on a day camping trip he’d taken away from the school in another life with Scott’s double.

Shaking the thought, Logan tried to still the voice in the back of his mind, but it was still there. The memory weighed upon the present, peeling away at the new serenity that Logan was working towards. Instead it gripped at his subconscious, twisting and clawing away at the present and forcing him to return to a life he’d left behind. Blinking his eyes, Logan’s fingers gripped on the steering wheel fearing what would happen to his waning control. His thoughts danced in his subconscious, swirling around with the heightened sense of the memory bubbling to the surface of his mind.

With another couple of blinks, Logan found his focus slipping away, stealing the rough, gravel covered dirt road from his path. Each second his tormented subconscious haunted him, taking him from his journey to Norman’s farm back to that tiny little cabin tucked away from the rest of the world in Canada. With a slow, thought out breath, he stopped fighting the memory instead inviting it in as the sad song on the radio echoed the sentiment in his heart.

**_“The love we had was so strong…”_ **

Swallowing down hard Logan glanced over at Scott again, seeing him still buried in whatever thoughts had surrounded him since their retreat from the hotel. He was lost in himself—something that Logan had grown quite accustomed to since their first encounter with one another in this new world. At first, he’d thought to question it if only to still the memories that haunted his own troubled mind, but instead he provided Scott his time alone to process and reevaluate the thoughts that had weighed in upon him.

**_“…you were my everything…my heart…my forever…”_ **

With a sigh, Logan turned off the main path, working his way up the mountain to a much more private place in their escape. With full, lush trees with red and orange colored leaves lining the sides of the road, he knew they were getting closer. Soon they would be starting the next part of their journey, but first he would lose himself to his thoughts if only to say goodbye. Gripping the wheel tighter, Logan gave himself to another time and place where the world hadn’t been upon his shoulders leading him down a dark path.

**_“…I would’ve said anything to make you stay…”_ **

_“Why stay here?” Scott’s voice had questioned at the time. Together in Logan’s memory at Logan’s cabin they had camped out underneath the moonlight beside the small, serene lake cuddled up together in an entirely too tiny sleeping bag looking to the stars above. The night had been peaceful and quiet—too quiet for most, but just right for Logan as he’d found himself basking in the warmth of the slender man in his arms._

_“Why not here?” Logan responded kissing the top of Scott’s head. He curled his arm tighter around his lover._

_“Not here,” Scott swatted at his chest lightly, “but at the school. Why keep doing it if this is where your heart has always been?”_

_“Because my heart is no longer my own,” Logan confessed reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face, hoping to convince his lover of his intentions, “Without you in my life it means nothing. None of this means anything if I can’t share it with you.”_

_“We both know that there’s going to come a day when you will be forced to live without me Logan,” Scott sighed when the crisp, night air transformed with the breeze bringing a chill upon them. It caused Scott to curve deeper into Logan’s chest, creating a new warmth within the snug confines of the sleeping bag, “As much as we would like to stay here forever, we both know that given your mutation…”_

_“Let’s not jump that far ahead,” Logan dispelled his lover’s concerns with a tender kiss, “Tonight is about us finally taking a break from the school and being free to…”_

_“Expose ourselves to the elements or be arrested for indecent exposure?” Scott teased with a playful grin. It prompted Logan to reach out and stroke his lover’s cheek, memorizing the beauty in Scott’s handsome features._

_“It’s my property,” Logan reminded him with a triumphant laugh, “so the odds of that happening are pretty slim to none.”_

_“Maybe your neighbors will see that we’re…” Scott curled into him further. His arm snaked around Logan’s shoulder with long, slender fingers coiling into the thick dark hair at the back of Logan’s neck._

_“No neighbors,” Logan promised leaning in to nip at Scott’s plump bottom lip, “Just you, me and the stars baby…”_

_“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Scott divulged returning to Logan with a slow, savory kiss promising temptation as they spent the night underneath the stars making love in the moonlight._

**_“…if I would’ve showed you, if I would’ve just held you…if I hadn’t let you walk out that door…”_ **

The song on the radio haunted Logan’s memory guiding him from his time in this world to a place in the old world just weeks after he and Scott had stepped away for their romantic trip to Logan’s cabin exploring each other and local hiking areas that surrounded them. It had been a beautiful, memorable trip, but something changed when he and Scott had returned home. The peace that had surrounded their time away had shifted taking them from bliss to something much darker when their reappearance at the school had offered up far more severe consequences.

**_“…I’ve lost you forever…you aren’t mine to love anymore…”_ **

_“_ _You just don’t get it Logan!”_ he could hear Scott’s words in the back of his mind. They brought Logan from his peaceful memory of quiet solitude at his old cabin to one of the last places where he and Scott had been together in the old world standing just outside of Scott and Jean’s old bedroom. In the darkened hallway, Logan had his fingers clasped over Scott’s elbow awaiting a response from his lover after he’d realized Scott had snuck into his old room presumably to surround himself with the memory of Jean.

_“No, I don’t get it at all Slim, which is why I won’t pretend that I understand any of this. You’ve been pushing me away since we left my cabin. Every time I try to reach out to you, you keep shoving me in the opposite direction. It’s as if you are trying to shut me out completely,” Logan replied with a harsh, angry voice when his frustrations had gotten the best of him._

_“This isn’t about you Logan. This is about me!” Scott threw his hands up in the air. His exasperation and exhaustion carried over the movement leaving him looking more unsettled than he had been before their conversation had started, “I just can’t…”_

_“Can’t what?” Logan stepped forward invading Scott’s personal space. His brow creased with tension, his lower lip curled with frustration, “You told me that you were ready for this—that you wanted what was happening here…”_

_“I did…I do Logan…I just…,” Scott argued behind gritted teeth. He took a weary step back as if Logan’s proximity was unnerving—as if the very nearness of Logan was too much for him in causing him physical pain. His face was growing red, but his lips were paler than they’d been earlier in the day when Logan had kissed him good morning, “Everything about this is happening so fast and…”_

_“Not long ago you were telling me it wasn’t happening fast enough. You said that you didn’t want to hold back any longer on this—on what was happening with us because you were ready. You were the one who begged me to take a chance on this,” Logan snapped in recoil, unable to quell the nagging sense of anger in facing the man who’d pledged his love to Logan only to slowly break their growing connection with a wall of chilled silence._

For weeks in that old life, Logan had been acutely aware that Scott was holding back, retreating into something that Logan couldn’t quite understand after they’d agreed to take things to the next level with one another. They’d finally smashed through the desolation long enough to be honest with one another and in that truth, Logan had expected something deeper that went without question. At first, they’d fallen into a routine, in a pattern of expected mating rituals that simultaneously made Logan anxious and excited in all the right ways. They’d spent a short time together exploring what it meant to be truly together without restraint—without fear of outside whispers and it felt wonderful. With each new day Logan had found himself sharing himself with the other version of the man at his side—experiencing the kind of love that all those ridiculous love songs were written for, but shortly after he’d experienced true bliss the nightmares began.

With each night terror, Logan witnessed a piece of Scott slipping further away—stolen right before his very eyes—in his bed no less as each night ripped their happiness away from them. He’d attempted to give Scott space, knowing full well how transitioning from grieving Jean to finding new love with Logan must’ve weighed upon him, but with each attempt at being courteous to his lover, he found their connection slipping. Each new nightmare seemed to chip away at their relationship, pulling Scott deeper into what haunted him until finally they’d hit a brick wall in communication leaving Logan on the outside of what was happening with Scott.

_“I know what I said Logan. I meant it at the time, but…” Scott’s pleading voice echoed the man Logan had loved, but there was something missing. It was a subtle difference, but with each passing day he was changing. He was transforming before Logan’s eyes, but Logan hadn’t seen it in his anger._

_“But what Slim?” Logan grunted focusing on his own frustrations instead of his lover’s fears, “You promised me that this was what you wanted and now…”_

_“You don’t understand what has been happening to me,” Scott’s voice cracked with emotion, his face divided by pain and frustration, “You couldn’t even begin to imagine what I’m…”_

_“So, make me understand,” Logan reached for his lover attempting to pull him into his arms only to feel the cold refusal when Scott stepped back._

_“I can’t,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, “You won’t ever see things the way that I do. You can’t hear her voice…”_

_“Whose voice?” Logan questioned with a frown._

_“Jean’s,” Scott’s trembling fingers had pointed to his forehead, “She’s here locked inside of me. I can’t escape her. I can hear her screams—her misery and…”_

_“Scott, she’s gone,” Logan attempted to reach for him once again, “I know that we lost her in a terrible way, but…”_

_“She’s still inside of me. For a while there was just a void, but something’s in its place…” Scott’s lower lip trembled in confession, “Something’s changed Logan. I can feel her again. I can hear her calling to me…”_

_“Scott, we both know that…” Logan attempted to find something to console his lover, to pull him back to their love, but it seemed with each step Scott took away from him it was no use, “You can’t just stop living because you’re holding onto something that you won’t ever be able to get back again. Chuck was expecting you to be there today Slim. He was fully prepared to deliver his address to the president, but then when you were gone…”_

_“I couldn’t go,” Scott shook his head furiously, “I couldn’t do it Logan. I just…couldn’t leave. Not today. Not like this.”_

_“Look, I get it. I know how hard it was losing her Slim. I loved her too, but we both agreed…”_

_“It doesn’t matter what we agreed to. She’s telling me how wrong all of this is,” Scott’s voice sank with the weight of the pain he carried with him, “She’s still in my head haunting every part of me…”_

_“That’s just your guilt speaking,” Logan argued reaching out to hold Scott only to feel Scott retreat from him once again, “Slim?”_

_“I can’t do this Logan. Not now…not until I’m sure,” Scott pleaded with him, unable to mask the tears that carried over him with each labored breath he took. He continued to lengthen the gap between them causing Logan to reach listlessly out to him once again as it was clear something had changed in his lover._

_“Sure of what?” Logan questioned watching as Scott seemed to be trembling before him, “Slim I…I’m worried about you…”_

_“Why?” Scott questioned tilting his head to the side as if Logan’s concerns surprised him._

_“Because I…I care about what happens to you. Because I’m concerned about you,” Logan attempted to appeal to Scott again. It was a desperate move—something that he’d undoubtedly thrown out in the hopes of bringing his lover back to reason once more, “I love you Slim.”_

_“It’s not enough Logan. I love you too, but it’s just not enough to stop this—not now when she’s still so close. She’s all around us Logan. I can feel it. With everything I do I can see her—I can hear her and…I’m sorry,” Scott decided turning away from Logan, “Please just let me figure this out first.”_

_“Scott wait,” Logan called out in an ill-fated attempt to question his lover’s abrupt departure._

At the time it seemed so trivial, so small, but in knowing what he’d lost it had been the beginning of the downward spiral in Logan’s life. With those words Scott began to pull away, to move just out of his reach until finally the grip the Phoenix had on Jean ripped Scott out of his life without warning.

**_“I should’ve held you tighter…should’ve made you stay…baby I was wrong, but there ain’t no other way…”_ **

Back at the school, Logan could clearly remember how it had escalated from that point in the hallway turning into a full-blown argument where he’d ended up sleeping on the couch to avoid making any kind of contact with Scott. It had been a bad moment for him—one that ended poorly when over the course of the next week they’d been ripped further from one another forever. It was that final week in his old life with Scott that he’d carried the most regret.

**_“…the words I wanted to say…the things I knew were right…they weren’t the things I said and did when I lost you that night…”_ **

Shaking his head, Logan cleared his throat and reached for the radio dial again, hoping to banish the memory with a switch to a hard rock station where the singer was screaming inaudibly to a heavy, electronic guitar riff. It was the antithesis of the last sentimental, foolish love song and it did the trick as Logan sat up straighter in his seat. He cleared his throat, noticing that his knuckles had grown white with his grip on the wheel.

Now looking over to the man seated beside him, Logan couldn’t help, but find himself wondering just how he’d been fortunate enough to be given a second chance to get things right. For so long he’d been convinced he was damned, condemned to live a life of misery and regret, but when the world almost ended for him and he’d altered time that had changed. His treacherous journey into the past had provided a more suitable outcome giving him the life and the home that he’d foolishly wished away in his early years with the X-Men. Everything that mattered was readily before him, his for the taking with a renewed hunger and passion for the life he’d pissed away the first time around.

It was in those first few hours after waking up in the new world that Logan had vowed to change it around. He knew what he stood to lose in remaining stagnant and not pushing towards change. He’d felt it from the moment he’d observed Scott Summers emerging from Chuck’s office looking like his dream come true. Upon contact Logan’s blood was pumping in his veins, his body responding to the man who’d haunted his dreams for years, but then—it had been all painfully clear on the path he had been on. They were destined to be together. Now it was finally happening for him.

After he and this version of Scott had found their way to peel away their deceptive layers in order to get to the heart of their secrets and reveal their truths, everything else faded away. The pain, the fear, the torture they’d been wordlessly enduring on their own had gone from being their own personal tormenter to a shared connection. Their pain had become something that only strengthened their bond. Instead of the truth tearing them apart, it only solidified the thing that had been building between them. With each spilled secret, it seemed as if they were finally getting a second chance with one another. That is if they made it through a showdown with Markus.

_Markus_ , the name swirled in Logan’s mind making him question all that they’d faced on the road so far. Tilting his head to the side, Logan glanced over at Scott only to discover that, he too, was burdened by the conflicting thoughts of their past and the madman that they were still yet to face. There was no denying Scott was overwhelmed with concern, consumed with thoughts of the monster that was stalking him. For Logan, it had been a headache, but for Scott it was clear that their time away from the rest of the world was slowly simmering down taking them back to the reality that a madman had been set on playing a dangerous game with them.

Armed with that knowledge of the dangers they still faced with Markus stalking them, Scott had relinquished his control. When they’d left the motel, he’d walked around to the passenger side of the car surprisingly letting Logan take the wheel without a fight. It was clear Scott was caught up in his own silent contemplations, lost in thoughts that Logan was certain would only take them on a far more dangerous road where Markus was concerned. Now, quietly humming to the incomprehensible metal rock tune on the radio and pretending that he hadn’t picked up on the shift in Scott’s demeanor, Logan pulled off the main road into the drive that was just beyond the thick, wooded area.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Logan half questioned deciding to break the silence between them. It caused Scott to look up from the spot on the window where he’d been listlessly gazing out beyond the trees to take in their surroundings.

“What?” Scott asked seemingly snapping out of whatever torturous thoughts had weighed in upon him, “What did you say?”

“I asked what was on your mind,” Logan clarified glancing over at his companion once again. There were still so many things left unsaid between them—things that Logan was certain that they still needed to touch upon with one another, but he knew not to ask. Instead he reached out across the front seat of the car to place his hand on Scott’s thigh to offer up a small squeeze.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Scott let out an ironic laugh as his fingers found their way to Logan’s in a surprising squeeze. Glancing down Logan watched the way Scott interlaced their fingers together before he focused on the road ahead of him once again.

“So, tell me anyway,” Logan shrugged his shoulders, “I can promise you it won’t be the most outlandish thing we’ve said to one another today.”

“No,” Scott’s lips curved upward in a sardonic smile before returning to the neutral canvas that often carried over his handsome face, “I suppose it won’t be.”

“So, what is it?” Logan prompted him further.

“Truthfully,” Scott hesitated. He shifted in his seat struggling with his thoughts before shrugged his shoulders, “This music is horrible.”

“Yes, it is,” Logan agreed having had enough of his fill of the screeching lead singer. He reached for the dial again turning it back to the 70s rock station. It was playing a mellow, laid back tune that fell into neutral ground as Logan leaned back in his seat, “but that wasn’t what you were thinking about.”

“No,” Scott divulged guiltily, “it wasn’t.”

“So then spill,” Logan prompted Scott further, “What was on your mind?”

“Honestly,” Scott swallowed down hard. He seemed hesitant to speak up, but found the courage to continue with his words, “I was wondering what domestic Logan looks like.”

“Domestic Logan?” Logan repeated glancing over at him once again, “What do you mean?”

“It’s just…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip, clearly lost in contemplation as they pulled along the dirt drive moving closer to Norm’s private estate, “I can’t imagine what it would take for you to consciously make the decision to live with someone for over a year.”

“I live with you,” Logan reminded him with a wrinkled expression, “I’ve been at the school for a long time, have I not?”

“Well yes, but that’s different,” Scott paused weighing out his words before speaking up again, “Living at the school isn’t exactly like living out in the middle of nowhere with someone on a farm that…”

“That what?” Logan questioned watching as a faint blush carried over Scott’s cheeks indicating that he’d been embarrassed by their conversation, but Logan refused to draw attention to it when Scott struggled with his words.

“Nothing,” Scott slumped back in his seat further. He released his hold on Logan’s hand opting instead to turn to gaze out the window at the trees passing by their uphill climb to Norm’s secluded farm.

“It’s not nothing,” Logan pulled his hand away from Scott’s thigh, reluctantly pushing his fingers over the wheel again, “Look Norm and I…if you’re thinking about what we talked about before with his and my history together…well, it’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Who said I was worried?” Scott countered with stone cold neutrality in his tone, but Logan knew better than to believe it. The shift in his pitch was a hair’s breadth from normal, but it was enough for Logan to pick up on the spike in Scott’s scent almost immediately.

“No one,” Logan decided opting not to press his luck when he focused on the road ahead of him, “We’ve known each other for a long time…”

“Clearly,” Scott spoke up in a pinched breath, “from the war.”

“Yeah sure, but after,” Logan hesitated realizing that Scott’s face was a mask of emptiness, undoubtedly trying to block Logan from seeing the truth behind his concerns, “With my being out here, well, it was just…after we did our time in the war I was kind of out on my ass without anywhere to go. For the most part before the war I moved around a lot going from place to place without any real destination. That was usually my reason for enlisting given that once you live as long as I have, you kind of lose your sense of purpose.”

“So, you turned to fighting in a war to obtain one?” Scott questioned tilting his head up to scrutinize Logan’s response.

“Once a soldier always a soldier I suppose,” Logan casually shrugged knowing there was nothing easy about his past, “Maybe it’s because Victor instilled that need in me to keep fighting. It’s what we did from the start once we started running, but the truth was we never stopped. There was never any real escape where I’d come from and with fighting…I guess, it kept me from losing myself to the man I was—to the monster I’d become.”

“Logan…” Scott’s voice softened when Logan felt the heat of his companion slide in closer to him on the front seat of the truck.

“I’ve done dark things in my life Slim—things that I don’t even remember, but being in the wars…I don’t know,” Logan swallowed down struggling to put to words the thoughts that slipped into the murky corners of his mind, “It gave me something more than just being a monster, but Vietnam—that was hard. It was different than the other wars…”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through,” Scott’s voice held sympathy that Logan hadn’t hoped to elicit from his lover. Glancing over at Scott again, he could see that he’d reached a place inside of Scott—perhaps a sentiment that Scott had known only too well when Logan reached out to trace his index finger over Scott’s outer thigh.

“I hated so many things about that war, but I just couldn’t escape the soldier I’d become,” Logan divulged guiltily. He cleared his throat and turned his focus to the road again, “When it was almost over there was a part of me that planned on doing it again when my time was up. I was lost—not clear on what was ahead for me, but Norm…he offered me a home to stay at for a while. He gave me a new purpose and a second chance at something else.”

“And so you took it,” Scott noted revealing nothing of his thoughts when Logan stopped touching him.

“Yeah, it was honest pay for a hard day’s work. In the war Norm was a medic—having gone to medical school before he was drafted so he came with a family that had some money. They’d given him this place when he returned,” Logan confessed wondering if Scott’s questioning came from a jealous moment or from something beyond the concerns he’d expressed back at the motel, “I didn’t have much at the time, but Norm let me work as a ranch hand. He listened a few times when I told him that I’d kind of been floating around a lot in between enlisting during the war—not really having any sense of direction until he welcomed me into his life.”

“So, he knew about your…?” Scott’s words trailed off when Logan already sensed the question on his lover’s lips.

“My mutation?” Logan finished with a somber nod, “Yeah, we found a few rough patches in Vietnam and we had each other’s back. First time I had grenade blast put a hole through my chest, he was the medic that worked on me. He saw right away what I was, and he wasn’t afraid of it. Instead he was curious, but not like most men are. He didn’t see me as a freak of nature to exploit and experiment on or as the monster I was. He simply saw me as a friend and…”

“…a lover,” Scott finished quietly. He lowered his head as if to shield his natural response from Logan, twisting his fingers in his lap when Logan let out a long sigh.

“Not right away,” Logan confessed solemnly, “that came a bit later, but working at the farm—it was nice for the most part.”

“It must’ve been quite the adventure,” Scott noted with a sigh. He brought his hand up to his cheek, touching his face briefly when a road sign indicated they were closer to their location.

“It was…something,” Logan hesitated before scrutinizing Scott’s demeanor again, “What about you?”

“What about me?” Scott seemed surprised in the questioning as he looked over at Logan once again.

“Have you ever taken the time to think about what domestic Scott looks like?” Logan challenged watching him closely as they came to an empty intersection.

The stop sign to Logan’s right was accompanied by a deer crossing sign, but as he focused on Scott, he found himself less inclined to reach their destination with the man at his side. Instead he wanted to take the time to explore his lover, to search into the man he’d become during their absence from one another in this new world. With each breath Logan took, he found himself filled with questions about the man beside him, about his wants and desires. However, as he witnessed Scott struggling to come up with an answer to the question, Logan couldn’t help, but turn his focus to the road again. Pressing his food down on the accelerator, he continued down the path leaving Scott the opportunity to speak up at his own pace.

“You’ve seen him repeatedly through the years,” Scott finally sighed wrinkling his nose at Logan’s inquiry.

“No, I’m not talking about ‘day to day follow the same routine and strict regimen’ Scott,” Logan shook his head adamantly, “I’m talking about ‘laid back, lazy day, stays up late at night watching old movies before spending the morning in bed hogging the blankets’ Scott who doesn’t mind burnt toast and runny eggs on an idle weekend. I wonder what he looks like.”

“That’s a very vivid detailed description to have for a man posing such an open ended question,” Scott noted with a neutral expression still avoiding Logan’s eyes in his response, “It sounds like you’ve already come up with an idea of what he looks like.”

“I’m merely tossing out a few suggestions to fill in the details of what a domestic Scott Summers might look like,” Logan shrugged taking what he’d known about the other Scott in the old world and offering it to the man at his side still struggling to come to terms with exploring his own happiness.

“He doesn’t exist,” Scott pinched his lips together at the thought. His knuckles turned white with the movement his fingers made digging into his palms as if the question had set Scott on edge, prompting him to consider a life that he’d deemed just out of his reach.

“Why not?” Logan challenged watching Scott shift in his seat uncomfortably.

“Because he doesn’t fit into my lifestyle,” Scott answered bluntly with an exasperated sigh.

“What if he did?” Logan brazenly questioned again, “What if letting loose is what domestic Scott needs to have more of in his life?”

“Then the world would undoubtedly fall apart,” Scott quipped in refusal of Logan’s suggestion with a small scowl.

“I doubt that,” Logan shook his head and sighed taking a turn onto another far more secluded, narrow uphill path. The truck switched gears, struggling with the new, steeper incline when Logan addressed his lover once again, “I believe that the weight of the world isn’t yours to carry along, you know?”

“It sure as hell feels like it most of the time,” Scott breathed returning his focus to the window once again.

“That’s because you allow yourself to carry the burden for the rest of us,” Logan answered knowing it went without saying, “but there comes a point where you don’t have to shoulder the responsibility all the time. After all it’s called the X-Men, not the Scott Summers single-handedly saves the world team.”

“Cute,” Scott mouthed with heavy sarcasm in his tone.

“I mean it Slim,” Logan reached out to gently nudge him again, “I know that we’ve had a lot going on with us over the last few weeks, but haven’t you ever wondered what it would look like if you just let loose and tried living a little bit?”

“Not really,” Scott bit down on his bottom lip again delivering another tell that he was lying.

“Right,” Logan resumed in focusing on the path before them, “because it would be too hard for you to imagine simply just being yourself for a change without having to answer for everyone else’s mistakes.”

“That’s not what I’m…” Scott attempted to argue but thought better of it when he rotated in his seat once again, “What you’re asking…it’s just…I’m not really all that good at it.”

“How do you know?” Logan replied weighing out his companion’s uneasiness at their conversation.

“I think my marriage speaks for itself. That’s the one time I decided to be domestic so to speak. I did what everyone expected out of me…” Scott began bringing one hand up over the side of his face to shield the heat that was causing his sculpted cheeks to glow with warmth.

“Maybe that was your problem in the first place,” Logan quipped only to elicit a scowl from Scott.

“Seriously Logan. I did what everyone who wants to be happy does. I tried to let loose and give the whole attempt at a normal life a try,” Scott sighed knowing only too well of his failures. As if they lingered in his mind, he touched the ring on his finger, seemingly weighing out its meaning before he offered up a sad smile, “I fail at being domestic.”

“Only because you never had the chance to grow and flourish outside of the walls of the mansion,” Logan pointed out with a shrug of his shoulders, “Plus, you never really had a fair shake on the starting ground with that one from what you’ve told me.”

“What do you mean?” Scott asked.

“I mean that the cards were already stacked against you before you and Jeanie decided to exchange vows with one another. You said it yourself you were doing what was expected of you. It wasn’t about freewill, but rather another obligation that you didn’t take lightly,” Logan noted.

“It wasn’t just that…” Scott’s scowl intensified, “I loved Jean…at least I thought I did and…”

“You did what the boy scout was taught is right and proper without factoring happiness into your equation,” Logan goaded him on further knowing only too well that the burden Scott carried upon him would inevitably take him under should he not allow himself the freedom to be happy, “You never knew what it was like to step out from beneath Chuck’s rules long enough to decide what it is that you wanted for you.”

“That’s not…” Scott attempted to argue with Logan’s hypothesis but found himself at a loss.

“Have you ever wanted out of all of this?” Logan questioned curiously.

“All of what?” Scott asked tilting his head in just the right way to catch the warmth of the sunlight upon his sharp, angular face. In the light he was beautiful, far sexier than Logan had imagined when Scott’s focus returned to Logan.

“The school? The X-Men?” Logan shrugged again when he rounded the gravel path making the familiar drive to the old farmhouse where he’d once been a part of Norm’s life, “Have you ever thought about finding a place of your own outside of all of that to explore what it is that you need?”

“Why would I?” Scott glanced over at him with a shake of his head, “Charles gave me a home when I had less than nothing. He offered me a new chance at a life with a sense of purpose and an opportunity to become something more than I was. Why would I walk away from that?”

“Because you might want something more,” Logan blatantly reached out to Scott’s thigh again refusing to break the connection between them, “Something quiet and maybe a little peaceful considering that…”

“The team is my life. I know a lot of people don’t understand that, but it means something to me. My responsibility to everyone is something I refuse to take lightly,” Scott sighed looking down at Logan’s hand over his thigh. He seemed to consider his options before he looked out the window once again, “I’m bound by duty to…”

“…what about the debt you owe to yourself?” Logan questioned squeezing at Scott’s thigh again, “When do you finally get to take a breath and see what it is that makes you happy? When are you allowed an opportunity to let go and just be?”

“Logan, I…I really don’t think that now is the time for us to be talking about this…” Scott stammered struggling to get his words out.

“Maybe not, but what else do we have to do?” Logan tossed back at him flippantly, “Road trips were made for these kinds of questions.”

“We aren’t on a road trip,” Scott deliberately reminded him.

“Maybe not, but perhaps I’m just trying to get an understanding of why it is that you don’t feel you deserve the same kind of joys and luxuries that you provide for the rest of us each day,” Logan continued thinking about all of Scott’s sacrifices through the years, “When does it become your time for any of that?”

“When the world stops trying to destroy itself, I suppose,” Scott offered up with a half-hearted, pinched laugh before falling to a sullen silence. It lingered in the air around him, pulling him undoubtedly into his own darkness again. He looked down at Logan’s hand again before weighing out his words, “Did your Scott…did he want to leave?”

“Sometimes we talked about it—about putting it all behind us and running away together for a little while,” Logan cleared his throat and found himself caught up in a moment of recall. Letting out a low, unsettling breath, he prepared to release Scott’s thigh only to feel Scott’s fingers over his palm again, casually tracing languid patterns over his skin.

“But you didn’t do it,” Scott deduced as Logan fought to shake the thoughts that carried over him about his previous life.

“No,” Logan revealed with a sigh, “we didn’t.”

“Why not?” Scott inquired pushing his fingers between Logan’s to softly tease his skin and press over the place where Logan’s claws revealed themselves in darker times.

“Because like you,” Logan hesitated observing Scott once again, “he couldn’t walk away from the life that Chuck had provided him with. He felt that the dream Chuck had for our kind was far too important to lose himself to the promise of happiness in his own life. He was bound by honor and duty to another man’s dream of peace, so he bypassed all of that for himself.”

“And did you feel the same way?” Scott questioned as they hit a bump in the road bringing them both to the reality that the farm was just beyond the path they were on.

“My home is with you,” Logan answered without hesitation bringing the truck to a crawl. He decelerated further before putting the still running truck into park. Turning in his seat, Logan was captivated by the gorgeous man beside him, “Where you are is the only place I want to be.”

“You say that now, but I’m not like him. Things are…” Scott’s face grew a deeper shade of crimson. He slanted his mouth up just enough to reveal his uncertainty to Logan.

“Different?” Logan finished with a wistful sentiment behind his words, “Perhaps.”

“We both know that it’s only a matter of time before you accept the changes,” Scott exhaled sloping his head down when the burden of the culpability he carried still weighed upon him in his actions.

“Maybe it’s you who has to find the strength to accept the change in your life,” Logan specified watching his lover retreat yet again to his brooding thoughts, “As you’ve discovered I’m not like him.”

“No,” Scott agreed tilting his head up just enough to issue Logan a thoughtful expression, “You aren’t…”

“And yet you’re still drawn to me,” Logan leaned in closer to Scott, bridging the quiet distance between them in the front seat of the pickup truck, “You still find yourself traveling down the inevitable path between us.”

“That’s because we’ve always been on a collision course with one another,” Scott responded shifting in his seat with a different kind of urgency in his movements, “In both our worlds it has been an inevitable outcome for us—gravitating to the fire and the hunger of…”

“Lust is only a small part of it Slim,” Logan assured him in a soft, patient tone. Smiling he reached out to touch the side of Scott’s cheek, grazing the soft skin with a tender touch, “I know in all my travels all roads were meant to lead me to you.”

“You say that now,” Scott replied with a sad smile. He turned out of Logan’s reach overtaken by guilt and tormented thoughts, “but when you have other options out there to break away…”

“I’ve never wanted to break away from this,” Logan touched the side of Scott’s face again coaxing Scott to see the truth in his words.

Leaning in closer to Scott, Logan caressed the warmth of Scott’s jawline. Scott’s measured, trembling exhale caused his uneasy breath to cascade over Logan’s lips. Knowing how hard to accept being needed was for Scott, Logan fanned his fingers out, using his thumb to stroke Scott’s cheek, guiding his palm to cup the underside of Scott’s face as his fingers curled underneath Scott’s chin.

Persuading Scott to gaze up at him, Logan hovered over his mouth with a newfound determination in his voice, “You’re all I want Slim. That hasn’t changed.”

“Even knowing that I’m different. That I’m not…him?” Scott attempted to dissuade Logan’s affection only to have his words of protest silenced by the tenderness of Logan’s lips over his, penetrating and all-encompassing, hoping to convey the depth of his feelings to the man who sat at his side.

“Time may have changed things for us, but you’re still it for me,” Logan whispered skimming his lips over Scott’s again with a light cascade of temptation.

“We may share similarities Logan, but we both know that I’m not…”

“I love you Slim,” Logan’s words vibrated against Scott’s mouth, keeping them connected to one another in the driveway leading up to Norm’s private hideaway. With a grip on Scott’s hair, coaxing Scott to lean in closer to him, Logan guided Scott into another drawn out kiss hoping to convey the weight of his words to his new lover, “Not only as you were, but as you are now.”

“You only feel that way because of the things you’ve shared with him—with the way he made you feel, but I…” Scott’s face seemed to grow hotter as Logan held onto him.

“With him I never spoke the truth in my heart even if I said what he needed to hear. There was always something inside of me holding back when he and I are were together,” Logan divulged guiltily knowing that truth was something that hadn’t come easy. Perhaps it had been years of loneliness or the fear of losing the one thing that mattered to him all over again, but at Scott’s side he felt a freedom that hadn’t existed before they’d found one another, “As much as I loved him I was never as honest with him about the way I feel as I am with you.”

“Neither was I…with him I mean,” Scott’s face grew hot in the admission when he moved in closer to Logan. Wordlessly Logan flounced Scott up off the seat and onto his strong, solid lap. With a rapid, jerking push of the seat control, the truck’s front seat lurched back allowing Scott the opportunity to straddle Logan’s lap. Unable to resist giving in to temptation, Scott’s fingers threaded through Logan’s hair, kissing him needy and urgent until their lips parted with him panting as his voice came out in a raw, urgent tone, “He and I…we never…”

“What?” Logan questioned readily seeking out Scott’s lip in another teasing nip.

“It was always easier to argue—to struggle against the inevitable pull without ever taking the leap into…” Scott’s broken words spilled from his lips, causing him to withdraw from the kisses they’d peppered one another with seconds earlier.

“Love?” Logan challenged sensing Scott’s discomfort in their conversation.

“We never talked like you and I do,” Scott’s blush intensified when he rubbed the tip of his nose against Logan’s. He fingered Logan’s dark, wiry hair as his confession tore through his perfectly parted lips, “I suppose we never really felt the need given that there was this unspoken, intuitive bond between us that we developed through the years. In being so close to one another…in having to face those kind of battles that we shared at each other’s side, it caused us to gain an understanding in ways that words simply couldn’t deliver. We knew each other inside and out—without talk, without emotion. It was simply instinct and…”

“Knowing that it was right because you’d found your perfect partner,” Logan finished stroking the side of Scott’s face to keep a connection between them.

“We were far from perfect,” Scott confessed lowering his head with a sigh, “He saw me at my worst, and I frightened him. I turned him away after…”

“I’m not afraid of your darkness Slim,” Logan promised holding him tighter than before, “We’ve seen the worst in one another and I’m not running away.”

“Only because you carry half-truths inside of your head. If you knew what I was capable of…” guilt resonated in Scott’s tone stealing the intimacy between them.

“I do,” Logan cut him off abruptly. He squeezed his fingers over Scotts hip, coaxing Scott to lean in against his chest, to shift over him in a slow series of gentle bumps and slow grinds meant to keep them together in his confusion, “and that’s why I am able to understand in ways that he wasn’t…”

“Logan,” Scott leaned into his touch savoring the soft strokes of Logan’s thick fingers sliding up over his spine to seek out the warmth of Scott’s creamy flesh beneath his shirt. Upon direct contact, Scott whimpered twisting in Logan’s lap again. His words came out in a soft breath, his thoughts conflicted as his voice resonated in the small space between them, “to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone like I do with you.”

“No?” Logan nuzzled his nose against Scott’s all the while closing his eyes and taking in the intoxicating scent of his lover beside him.

“I’ve never been one for trivial conversation and small talk, but there’s just something about you…” Scott divulged parting his lips and darting his tongue out to meet Logan’s in a hot, explicit tease causing them both to growl at the taste. Logan’s fingers sank deeper into Scott’s hair, coaxing him to continue, to give in to temptation as Scott undulated over him, shifting his thighs to squeeze over and against Logan’s. With Logan’s hand up underneath the back of his shirt, gripping and commanding his body, Scott rocked against him with a purr feeling Logan’s hardening body within his jeans respond instinctively to him.

“It’s my winning personality,” Logan teased nipping on Scott’s lower lip, “Admit it.”

“It’s certainly not your ego,” Scott divulged leaning into the embrace. His mouth met Logan’s in another naughty, explicit kiss before he pulled back desperate for some truth in their connection, “It’s just that there’s something here that…”

“Feels like home,” Logan finished for him knowing only too well that their relationship was still growing and blossoming, but unlike what you’d expect from a stranger, there was a familiarity and understanding there that they’d both been certain of. They were from different worlds, yet their connection was still there, pulsating with life beneath the surface.

“Before I was too afraid—too ashamed to be honest about who I am…about what I was…” Scott bit down on his lower lip nervously. His arms surrounded Logan’s shoulders holding onto him despite his earlier apprehension, “I always showed restraint steering clear of this…too afraid to just say what it is that you…he did to me. Even though he meant so much to me, I always held back. I always kept him at arm’s length and…”

“I knew the moment I saw you standing there outside of Chuck’s office that it was our chance for a new beginning and I didn’t want to fuck it up,” Logan divulged pressing his forehead in against Scott’s once again, “It was a sign that we were meant to begin again in the very spot that I first found you.”

“Outside of the Professor’s office?” Scott questioned lazily stroking the back of Logan’s thick neck just beneath his dark hairline.

Logan nodded tilting his head back to accept his lover’s doting touch, “The first time I saw your face—really saw you in my old world was in that very spot at Chuck’s office door after you’d saved my life.”

“I saved your life?” Scott questioned in a low, throaty whisper as the touch of their skin against one another caused Scott to tremble with anticipation, “How?”

“Long story, but I was an ungrateful shit who only wanted to rub you the wrong way,” Logan admitted guiltily as he gently pressed his thumbs over the side of Scott’s face, lightly tracing over his cheekbones, “I said and did some shitty things after that first meeting, but…well, I knew there was something there.”

“Because he infuriated you?” Scott probed coiling into Logan’s soft caress.

“He intrigued me,” Logan answered readily cajoling Scott’s mouth to slope up towards his again, “so much so that I couldn’t put my finger on it until we started spending more time together. We both knew that it was tempting fate, but…”

“You did it anyway,” Scott noted with a shivering exhale when Logan’s thumb traced delicately over Scott’s bottom lip, “You found your way into one another’s arms and…”

“Nothing in my world brought me any peace after he was gone. I didn’t find a reason again until you were standing outside of that office reaching for me, letting me touch you after so many years of emptiness,” Logan informed him solemnly. His lips parted, his body yearning for the kind of connection he’d missed out on for so long before he’d found Scott again, “You were the first breath of life after spending so many years dead inside.”

“How long was he gone?” Scott asked quietly as their breaths intermingled with one another.

“Too damn long, but now, you’re here,” Logan clarified caressing the side of Scott’s face, “and I’m sure as hell not thinking about letting go. Certainly not now.”

“I know that think that you feel that way, but it is because you don’t know who I am. You don’t realize that I’m not good like he was. I’m not sweet or innocent or idealistic about…” Scott spoke up in protest only to have Logan kiss him once again. This time he put a little more passion into it, pulling forth an instinctual response inside of Scott.

With a slow whimper Scott enfolded his arms tighter around Logan’s shoulders. His tongue dipped into the warmth of Logan’s mouth tasting the teasing hints of tobacco and coffee upon him. His hips rotated in a slow, sensual rhythm aware of the profound impact his movement made upon his lover’s hardened ache. With each movement Logan moaned, gripping Scott’s hips tighter, closing in upon the supple curve of his bottom gripping tightly before there was a loud, booming sound from outside of the car. It caused Scott to withdraw from the kiss, now fully flushed as Logan looked to the world beyond the pickup truck to notice that an oversized green tractor had been slowly passing by off of the main road oblivious to Scott and Logan in its path to its destination.

“You aren’t going to convince me to discard how I feel,” Logan wrinkled his nose at Scott before a visibly flushed Scott climbed fully off Logan’s lap to settle into the passenger seat once again. After a few calming breaths, Logan reached for the seat control bringing the seat back to position before returning his focus to the path ahead of them, “The other guy might’ve been easy to manipulate and persuade into believing that you didn’t give a damn about him, but I’m not that easily deceived by you playing hardball. I’m on to you Slim.”

“I’m not playing hardball,” Scott frowned sinking back into his seat as Logan shifted the truck into gear.

“Of course, you are,” Logan shook his head and sighed knowing that their moment of physical connection had passed, but their conversation was far from over between them, “You want to try to convince me that I don’t need you because you’re afraid. You know that this thing between us is good for the both of us, but rather than give in to it, you’re trying to analyze and dissect it—to see if it is real and worth fighting for.”

“That’s not what I…” Scott halfheartedly argued with him.

“Right,” Logan laughed lightly, “At first I thought you were silent on the way up here because you were thinking about Markus and the mission, but when I saw the expression on your face, I knew that you were thinking about us.”

“I wasn’t…” Scott opened his kiss-swollen lips in protest.

“You were,” Logan deduced brazenly reaching for Scott again, “I imagine that most of this quiet time between us is because you’re thinking about whether or not the pros outweigh the cons in the mental checklist you’re working on about the two of us. Sure, you were working hard to make me believe that your mind is entirely on this mission, but we both know it’s far from where you’d anticipated it being. Right now, you’re contemplating what the future could mean if you throw caution to the wind and just give in to what’s happening here.”

“I’m not making a mental checklist,” Scott insisted with a huff that exposed the untruth in his words. He cleared his throat and shifted on the seat again as if attempting to fight off the aftershocks that making out with Logan moments earlier still carried over him.

“Right,” Logan laughed louder than before knowing full well that neither one of them were about to readily discard what was happening between them, “because you aren’t at all considering what it means to give into this now. I mean you couldn’t be at all weighing out the risks of our being truly involved in a relationship considering that…”

“A relationship,” Scott repeated twisting in his seat once again to contemplate Logan’s words, “Is that what you think this is?”

“Isn’t it?” Logan glanced over at him once again with a pang of nervousness in his chest, “I mean we’ve been partners for years in everything else, but…”

“With other versions of us,” Scott corrected stating the obvious between them. His fingers instinctively rose to his own lips, tracing the tips over the very spot that Logan had sampled them a few minutes earlier, “We’ve lived with other people who…”

“…ultimately wanted the same thing,” Logan shrugged struggling to keep his eyes on the road. The slow movement of Scott’s fingers over Scott’s full, supple lips made Logan’s body react even more than it had with Scott in his lap teasing him. Clearing his throat, Logan attempted to pull himself fully into their conversation again while his eyes were on the road ahead, “Face it Slim you never wanted to simply just fuck me back at that bar when you propositioned me. You wanted something more.”

“I was just…” Scott began with his obvious tell when he bit down on his bottom lip nervously.

“Trying to find a way in and once you did,” Logan paused turning his attention away from the road again and focusing on Scott’s blushing features, “We both knew that sex didn’t cover the weight of what this is.”

“No,” Scott lowered his head and folded his hands over his lap in silent contemplation, “I suppose it doesn’t.”

“You need me just like I need you,” Logan decided boldly throwing out the truth that they’d been skirting around with long before they’d ended up in the truck with one another headed to Norm’s farm, “After all the bullshit we put each other through, we both know that it begins and ends with us together Slim. We can dance around this for a while if that makes you feel more comfortable in coming to terms with this, but as it stands, we’re meant to be together.”

“He wasn’t nearly the romantic you are,” Scott couldn’t help, but smile as he tilted his head to watch Logan closely, “In all of our years together, his declarations of love didn’t include such flowery words or bold announcements. Aside from those few stolen moments, we never took the time to talk about…”

“Feelings?” Logan teased with a small wink, “I mean sure sex is nice Slim, but you had to find yourself caught up in feeling something.”

“You’d be surprised at how much I feel,” Scott sighed slumping down in his seat again.

“Not really,” Logan answered fighting the urge to reach out for Scott as he gripped the wheel tighter than before, “but I can understand why you’re apprehensive to accept that I do understand you. I realize it’s unnerving to believe that someone who hasn’t been inside your head for years can read you like I do.”

“If you’re so intuitive, then what am I thinking about now?” Scott sat up straighter issuing him another challenge.

“My cock of course,” Logan shrugged pulling onto the path again and moving in closer to the awaiting farmhouse, “and yes, since you’re wondering I’ll have no problems with you playing with it if you’d like should the mood strike you later.”

“You’re depraved,” Scott brought his hand up to the side of his face, brushing his fingers over his own cheek before he let out a laugh.

“I’m not wrong though,” Logan prodded him further, watching as Scott bit down on his plump, bottom lip clearly caught up in the idea that Logan had pushed into his mind.

“You’re too much,” Scott was finally laughing, unable to mask the combination of amusement and desire that weighed upon his mind, taking him from the somber stewing over his sins to something entirely different with the smile that carried over his lips.

“You weren’t saying that this morning,” Logan teased him further when a lightness filled the air between them, “If I recall correctly you were more than welcoming the challenge of taking all of me in considering that…”

“You’re filthy,” Scott’s laughter surrounded the small interior of the pickup.

“And proud of it,” Logan joined him in a moment of small laughter despite the seriousness of their earlier conversation, “but so are you Slim.”

“Yes,” Scott heartily agreed bringing his hand over his abdomen when his smile expanded, “I am. I have an utterly twisted, wayward mind filled with thoughts that would make your toes curl.”

“Oh, they were curling alright, but it had entirely nothing to do with your mind and everything to do with your mouth when you were…” Logan continued reaching out to poke Scott in the ribs once again.

“We’re going to have sex again soon, aren’t we?” Scott questioned as his laughter diminished taking him to quiet contemplation in their new surroundings.

“Only if you want to,” Logan offered up honestly, “Only when you’re ready.”

“What if I’m ready now?” Scott asked tilting his head to the side to observe Logan closely.

“Then I’d suggest you at least give me a couple of seconds to pull the pickup over into the trees and put it into park before we do something we’ll both live to regret,” Logan answered stealing a glance over at Scott once again, “Though I have to admit a pickup wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for the next time we…”

“What did you have in mind?” Scott questioned reaching out to touch Logan’s thigh.

“I don’t know. Something a little more romantic,” Logan confessed looking down at Scott’s fingers teasing over his leg, “I hadn’t homed in on location, but I was hoping whatever it was, it would be something that would please you. I wanted something to put you at ease.”

“We made a good start at it earlier before that tractor passed by,” Scott decided with a shrug.

“Yes, we did, but next time,” Logan placed his hand over Scott’s in a moment of thoughtful contemplation.

“What?” Scott swallowed down hard.

“Next time I don’t want to fuck,” Logan added with an uncertainty in his tone.

“You don’t?” Scott questioned quietly as Logan squeezed his hand once again.

“No,” Logan shook his head firmly as his fingers interlaced with Scott’s, “Next time I touch you, I want something more.”

“Logan…”

“I want to make love to you Scott,” Logan explained turning in his seat and reaching out to him again, “I want to worship you in ways that you haven’t allowed yourself to experience before.”

“We’ve already…” Scott stammered struggling with Logan’s brazen declaration.

“We haven’t made love because to make love you have to feel it Slim,” Logan leaned in closer to him, “That’s what I want more than anything. I want you to feel it.”

“What if I’m incapable?” Scott sighed tilting his head down as Logan’s warm fingers grazed over his cheekbone. Leaning into Logan’s touch, Scott turned to press a soft kiss into Logan’s palm.

“Are you?” Logan questioned feeling Scott’s damp lips imprint over his skin.

“I don’t know,” Scott’s face darkened as he turned towards Logan again. He carefully placed Logan’s hand over the side of his face, coaxing Logan to keep touching him as a small smile upturned over his lush lips, “I’d like to say I’m not but…”

“What do you want from this?” Logan questioned inching in closer, catching the subtle apprehension that carried over his lover.

“I know that I don’t want it to end,” Scott divulged gripping Logan’s hand over his cheek tighter than before, “but I’m still figuring that out.”

“Then I’ll give you all the time you need to do just that,” Logan sighed carefully pulling away from Scott when it was clear that their physical connection was clouding Scott’s turmoiled thoughts, “When you’re ready, you’ll know.”

“What if I’m not?” Scott asked quietly.

“Not what?” Logan inquired preparing to put the truck into gear once again knowing that they were only a short distance from Norm’s farm.

“Ready,” Scott spoke up in a small, guilty voice revealing the depth of his uncertainty in what he was allowing to happen between them, “What if I’m never ready to be what you want me to be?”

“I want you to be happy Slim,” Logan stated plainly as if that truth would be evident in his tone with Scott at his side.

“That’s asking a lot,” Scott sighed dejectedly.

“I realize that,” Logan’s heart sank knowing how much Scott would have to face before he was ready to give himself over to the idea of real love in his life after years of being shut out by those who’d mattered most to him, “but at the very least if you can’t be happy with yourself, then I at least want you to be happy with me.”

“I am happy with you,” Scott reached out to touch Logan’s thigh encouragingly. His fingers pushed up over the denim that covered Logan’s muscled flesh, offering up an urgent squeeze when Logan’s hand dropped down over Scott’s roaming fingers to still his movement.

“No,” Logan sighed shaking his head as he squeezed Scott’s fingers once again, “you aren’t, but when you are, you’ll know.”

“I like having sex with you,” Scott half pleaded, still holding Logan’s thigh when Logan refused to allow Scott’s touch to continue down the intimate path that Scott initiated in reaching for Logan.

“I like having sex with you too…probably too much,” Logan answered readily glancing over at the confused man at his side, “but if we are going to stand a chance at something real, then you and I have to try to be something more.”

“That’s asking a lot,” Scott sighed reluctantly relinquishing his hold on Logan’s thigh.

“I’m worth it,” Logan promised squeezing at Scott’s hand, “and so are you.”

“I’m not so convinced,” Scott returned to his seat again slumping down dejectedly.

“Then let me show you that you are,” Logan encouraged reaching out for Scott’s hand once again. Effortlessly he raised it to his lips and offered up a chaste kiss.

“Logan…” Scott began nervously.

“Slim, all I’m asking for is a chance. I know that’s asking a lot, but…” Logan started lowering Scott’s hand to the empty space between them in the front seat of the car. He kept their fingers laced together as the truck pulled up along the path.

“If I’m really honest it’s not,” Scott shook his head and squeezed at Logan’s fingers.

“Good, which leads me to my next question,” Logan began looking between the road ahead of him and back to the man seated beside him, “What do you say to dinner tonight?”

“As opposed to every other night?” Scott arched a curious brow behind his glasses.

“Slim, I’m serious…” Logan grumbled.

“So am I,” Scott shrugged his shoulders as their fingers were still fastened together on the seat between them serving as a silent reminder of their bond, “Logan, you know I don’t really care what we eat. Anything is good and…”

“No. What I’m asking is would you like to have dinner with me?” Logan clasped tighter at Scott’s fingers hoping to clue him in on what he was asking.

“I mean yes, that’s kind of obvious since it’s just the two of us together. I suppose we will have to figure something out in terms of food given that we have no idea what we will have to work with at the farm and…” Scott began to ramble losing sight of the real question that Logan was trying to ask him.

“No Slim,” Logan brought the truck to a stop once again pausing long enough to draw emphasis to his words, “what I’m saying is I want to know if you want to have dinner tonight…with me.”

“Logan, I already said that…” Scott shook his head dismissively, preparing to pull his fingers from Logan’s grip when Logan squeezed tighter than before. It caused Scott to grow silent when Logan cleared his throat and spoke up with more determination.

“Like a date Slim,” Logan interrupted wondering how someone as intuitive as Summers could be so slow about the world around him, “I’d like to have dinner with you.”

“Oh…” Scott’s lips pinched together when his eyes returned to their fingers still hooked together on the seat.

“Well?” Logan tapped the steering wheel with his free hand expectantly after Scott had fallen into a long, uncomfortable silence upon Logan’s declaration.

“I mean I suppose we have to eat and…” Scott shrugged twisting just a bit in his seat when Logan’s words seemed to settle in with him.

“Is that a yes?” Logan questioned, fighting to contain the nervousness that built in the pit of his stomach at the idea of Scott rejecting his offer to attempt to be right and proper in their new courtship with one another.

“We can’t go out anywhere,” Scott’s pinched lips blurted out in that same neutral, leader tone that he used on most occasions when dealing with the rest of the team. His fingers were still linked to Logan’s, but his face was a mask of stoic determination, returning to the man who revealed next to nothing where his thoughts and emotions were concerned, “The whole point of us being here is to lay low and…”

“I wasn’t planning on taking you out,” Logan added knowingly when he took it as a positive sign that Scott hadn’t pulled his fingers away from Logan’s just yet.

“So, then you want to have dinner here? At the farm?” Scott clarified seemingly relaxing at the thought when he leaned back in his seat to look to the dirt and gravel path ahead of him.

“You’ll be surprised at how well I know my way around the kitchen here,” Logan promised in a flirty tone realizing that his plans for a romantic evening with Scott may be off to a good start after all.

“Because you were here with Norm…” Scott’s face seemed to drop with disappointment when Logan felt Scott’s fingers twitch beneath his, as if Scott was contemplating letting go of their connection.

“Because I have a few culinary skills that I’d like to share with you,” Logan paused for a moment when another thought carried over him, “The other me…he could cook, right?”

“He could,” Scott paused clearly considering the answer in and of itself, “I mean I think he could. He never really cooked for me considering that…”

“I want to cook for you,” Logan interrupted embracing Scott’s fingers again with a bit more enthusiasm behind their movement, “Tonight I will go to the farmer’s market and pick up a few things to stock the fridge with.”

“Logan, I don’t think that you leaving right when we get here is such a good idea considering that…” Scott’s pinched lips moved with impending protest.

“I know my way around this place like I do the school,” Logan assured him confidently, “The farmer’s market is right down the road. I mean we could turn around and go down there now together if you’d like considering that…”

“It’s getting late,” Scott shrugged again turning his attention to the clock on the dashboard between them, “How do we even know that it’s open considering that…?”

“I know the owner,” Logan admitted with a wry grin, “He’s an old buddy of mine and I may or may have not already put in an order for tonight so…”

“When did you find the time?” Scott couldn’t help, but question tilting his head up to look at Logan once again, “After you spoke with Norm, we packed up and took off…”

“I have my ways of getting the job done,” Logan winked over at him, “Plus, it will be a good segue to you learning your way around the farm. I imagine that you’ll want to check out the perimeter and work on us setting up our base and…”

“I mean I’d thought about it,” Scott agreed with him when the idea of the night before them seemed to settle in over Scott’s thoughts, “Given that you feel this place is secure…”

“You’ll want to see for yourself, which gives me time to whip up something special…that is if you’re interested. What do you say?” Logan questioned unable to mask his enthusiasm as he squeezed at Scott’s fingers again.

“I…” Scott’s face grew a deep shade of crimson in his consideration as he cleared his throat.

“Is that a yes?” Logan wiggled his brow suggestively.

“It’s…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip in contemplation before finally nodding his head encouragingly, “yes. Yes, I’ll have dinner with you.”

“Great,” Logan squeezed Scott’s hand again as he fought to repress the moment of triumph that had overtaken him now that it was clear that he and Scott Summers were finally making progress with one another. Granted they might not be in the best of circumstances overall, but with the idea of a night with just the two of them sharing a meal together filling his mind, Logan found himself surrounded with the first sense of real hope since they’d left the motel together. With an enthusiastic grip on Scott’s fingers, he shifted directions in the truck knowing full well that this was only the beginning of a promising future between them, “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this story. All the kudos, feedback and general support is wonderful motivation for me to keep doing on this story! Knowing that you are still out there, reading and loving this just makes me so happy (not to mention it causes my creativity to flourish on this story). Thank you all so much for the support and know just how much it means to me!! If you like it, please feel free to drop me a kudos or a comment as yourself as an anon. I love knowing that people are out there reading this story that may never have happened without all of your encouragement so thanks for that!!! You're all the best!


	27. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon arriving at the farmhouse with one another, Scott finds himself caught up in a moment of jealousy that causes him to give in to impulse. Will it bring him and Logan closer together or tear them further apart?

**Temptation:** _the desire to do something, especially something wrong or unwise._

The farmhouse hadn’t been at all what Scott had anticipated when Logan had first mentioned it to him at the motel. Scott had expected something a bit more modern given Norm’s ties to S.H.I.E.L.D. combined with the few things that he’s observed about the man’s connections. However, nothing had prepared him for the eerie old-world plantation style, oversized estate that had been built upon the generous expanse of land within the Catskill mountains. Off to the left had been a picturesque view of the trees leading to the Hudson River that Logan had promised would deliver breathtaking views. The massive barn was to the right of the property along with the stables where Norm housed various animals through the year. All in all, it felt more commercial in their approach even though Logan had promised that they were quietly tucked away from the rest of the world.

“And you’re certain that we’ll be alone here?” Scott inquired tensing up as he and Logan had pushed past the state-of-the-art security system at the front gates when they’d arrived beyond the driveway just a few hundred yards from the front of the estate.

“Absolutely,” Logan dismissed Scott’s concerns, “This time of year everyone has packed it up for the season and…”

“What about the farm itself?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when Logan rolled the truck’s window down and had to put in a security code into the digital box grant them access within the walls of the compound it seemed they were entering.

“The animals are tended to by a caretaker on the property most of the time,” Logan answered readily, “but Norm mentioned that he hadn’t had a lot going on in the stables this time of year.”

“So, he still has animals here?” Scott’s eyes darted beyond their position behind the gates over towards the long, green colored building before him. It stretched out for nearly a half a professional football field’s length before he turned towards Logan again.

“I mean obviously it’s a farm. The horses are always around and some of the chickens, a few of the llamas,” Logan noted when the large, heavy gates began to creak open with a loud, wailing hiss.

“Llamas?” Scott repeated giving Logan another look, “He has llamas here?”

“Among other things sure,” Logan nonchalantly shrugged, “but Norm said that it wasn’t anything that I couldn’t handle while we were here.”

“You’re going to tend to the farm?” Scott’s eyes widened with surprise behind his glasses.

“Sure,” Logan answered rolling up his window and gripping the truck’s wheel with his thick fingers, “I mean it’s not like I haven’t done it before. That year I lived here it was entirely my job to keep things running around here.”

“In those stables?” Scott motioned to the oversized building before them again.

“It wasn’t exactly those stables since those are reasonably new around here,” Logan stressed the words when they drove further onto the property, “but yeah, I worked in them.”

“Wow…I mean I know that you’ve got a way about you, but…” Scott’s words tapered off.

“You don’t think I can handle working with wild animals?” Logan amused laughter practically rolled off his lips, “I live at the school Slim. If I can handle working in a classroom of hormonal teenagers, then I’m more than equipped to deal with barnyard animals.”

“You’ve got me there,” Scott conceded with a nod. A smile touched over Scott’s lips as he found himself taking in their surroundings all over again.

“This time of year Norm has more than half of the livestock transported to his other farms south of here,” Logan explained glancing over at Scott when the truck pushed forward up the long, winding drive before them, “Truth be told as big as this place is a lot of this is mostly for show now.”

“I thought you said this location was private,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown taking in his lover’s words, “You said a lot of people don’t know about this place.”

“They don’t,” Logan clarified clearing his throat as Scott’s gaze lingered to the estate before them again, “What I mean is that Norm’s not here like he once was. He spends a lot of time in his other homes across the country, but when he’s looking for solitude, he holes up here. Though not like he used to.”

“Why is that?” Scott questioned lazily. He leaned against the window looking out to the estate before him. The main house seemed excessive and repugnant despite its sturdy frame and twin white marble columns meant to impress and frame the front entrance.

“Work maybe,” Logan shrugged whistling a tune underneath his breath, “I never really thought to ask.”

“We’re off to a good start, aren’t we?” Scott let out an ironic laugh as the truck hit a bump in the road causing the bags of groceries that they’d picked up to bounce in the tiny back seat of the pickup Scott rented.

“I’d like to think so,” Logan mouthed wistfully. He tapped his fingertips on the steering wheel pulling the truck closer to their destination as Scott fell to silence once again.

If Scott was being honest, the place felt more like a fortress devoid of any kind of personality beyond the flashy expanse of the estate before him. It spoke volumes about the wealth behind the man who’d owned the property. It felt pretentious and excessive, but beyond that dread coiled inside of Scott at the thought of spending any significant amount of time in the home Logan had one shared with his former lover. It was far from the depiction that Logan had presented of the man he’d learned to care for during his time at war. Instead of greeting them with the warmth of simplicity, the estate spoke volumes of power and excess, demonstrating prestige from a man that Scott still recognized put Logan in danger. That part of the mission didn’t sit well with Scott as the pickup truck slowly climbed the winding drive leading away from the gigantic manor just beyond the gardens headed towards the semi-private Olympic sized swimming pool and regulation sized tennis courts in the back of the estate.

With a shake of his head, Scott had found himself questioning Logan’s sense of reasonability in laying low in such a blatantly, luxurious place. It felt like the antithesis of Logan and their purpose for reaching out, but instead of openly questioning it, Scott sat back contemplating how Logan would find this place to be practical. It wasn’t until they’d moved further through the property beyond the flash and glamour of the estate to another narrow dirt path moving away from the yard that Scott finally received his answer. With the truck’s movement, they headed down the gravel path towards a secluded section of the property surrounded by colorful, neatly lined cherry and apple trees. It was there at the highest peak of the property where they had finally made their way away from the cold estate to the warmth of Norman’s guest house. Unlike the grandiose estate Scott had balked at, this place served as a modest reminder of days gone by. The jagged gray-colored roof on top of the small, simple wooden building with off white colored paint and a sturdy foundation felt like a stark contrast to the other structures. The windows across the front of it were small and weathered with paint peeling around the frames, far from the glitz of the other things that welcomed visitors into the property. This, instead, felt like the heart of the property as Logan brought the truck to a stop a few feet away from the steps leading up the extended front porch. The porch itself sported two obviously hand-crafted mismatched wooden rocking chairs and a modest double swing for two as Scott found himself surprised by the so clearly out of place building.

“Unlike the main house with its upgrades through the years, this is the original structure from when I lived here,” Logan explained breaking through Scott’s contemplative thoughts, “Don’t get me wrong there was another, smaller building where the estate was now, but this stayed the same. Time didn’t change it at all and…well, this was where I lived.”

“You mean…?” Scott’s lips parted when the weight of what Logan was saying hit him.

“It was a mess when we got back from the war. It wasn’t much more than a bedroom and a bath area, but I spent a lot of time building it up, fixing up the things that were needed within as part of my duties around here,” Logan shrugged his shoulders and sighed, “The house looks like it could use a fresh coat of paint and that roof leaves much to be desired, but given how long it’s been standing here…”

“So, then you were the one that…?” Scott returned his focus to the wooden chairs on the porch again and recognizing the craftsmanship that had gone into it. While Logan hadn’t often talked about his run at carpentry, Scott had noticed the few things he’d worked on in the past at the school. Now before him were two more primitive examples of his handiwork before him.

“Gave it a makeover,” Logan finished with a nod. He put the truck into park and turned the keys in the ignition causing the engine to stop humming.

“And those chairs?” Scott nodded to the porch again.

“All me,” Logan confessed with a small laugh, “though I’m surprised Norm still has them there given that he was dead set against me putting them out there.”

“Why?” Scott couldn’t help, but question, “They’re exquisite.”

“They didn’t exactly fit the aesthetic of the farm,” Logan divulged with a small shrug, “but for what it’s worth it is nice to see he’s still got them.”

“I like them,” Scott mouthed wanting to get out and take a closer look at Logan’s creation.

“You should try sitting in one,” Logan suggested with a small smirk, “They don’t look like much, but they are surprisingly comfortable. Maybe that’s why Norm kept them around after all this time.”

“I’m sure,” Scott mouthed underneath his breath already on the way to finding another reason not to like Logan’s ex-lover.

“Either way this is it,” Logan motioned to the quiet farmhouse once again, “I put a little elbow grease into this old place too and well, it is what it is. Norm promised he wouldn’t change it too much after I left.”

“It’s…” Scott found himself at a loss when he found himself looking into a part of Logan’s life that he hadn’t been privy to before, “impressive.”

“No,” Logan let out a small, pinched laugh as if the house reached out to him and shared a hidden secret from the past, “it really isn’t, but it was certainly a learning experience for me. In a lot of ways, it was home away from home when Norm and I stayed here together.”

That sentiment had left Scott with mixed emotions in knowing that Logan had found something deeper with a man that Scott had known nothing about—that Scott had still suspected of nefarious actions bringing his new lover to danger. That part had left Scott on edge, but what was worse and possibly more troubling to Scott was the sudden spike of jealousy that coiled over Scott’s abdomen in imagining Logan being in love with someone else. Perhaps it was his own raging ego at play, but the idea of Logan being in love with someone else after having declared his sentiment for Scott for so long left him feeling numb inside.

Yes, he’d known through the years that Logan had seen other people—that he’d shared a great many bedmates that Scott had dismissed in Logan’s wake of destruction. Hell, there had been a brief period when Logan and Ororo had been together for the thrill, not bothering to hide it from anyone who’d dared to notice. That had been hard for Scott to come to terms with, even in knowing he hadn’t a stake to claim in Logan’s dalliances, but again that had still been different. It had passed and Logan had moved onto other things in his life but knowing that this man—Norm had mattered not only to Logan now, but to Logan from before, well, it left Scott unsettled.

“So, yeah, this is it. Home sweet home. Just like I remembered it,” Logan announced dangling the keys to the rental truck in the air for Scott.

“Right,” Scott bit down on his plump bottom lip taking in Logan’s words. Looking to the keys, Scott observed the way that Logan held them out towards him to accept before Scott shook his head, “No, you keep them for now. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Logan couldn’t help, but grin as he opened the driver’s side door, “because I rather welcome the idea of having you all to myself.”

“In the home you shared with your wealthy potentially dangerous ex who drove you to Markus where you were almost killed,” Scott mouthed under his breath as Logan stepped out of the truck onto the property.

With the movement, Scott practically jumped at the sound of Logan slamming the door shut. He reached for his own door handle, contemplating collecting one of the brown paper bags in the truck’s back seat, but instead was hailed by Logan opening up the passenger side door and extending his hand out to Scott to assist him in his exit.

“Shall we?” Logan enticingly wiggled his fingers towards Scott.

“I don’t need help getting out of the…,” Scott’s words came to an abrupt halt when he was hoisted from the front seat of the truck and dragged unswervingly into Logan’s chest. With sturdy arms surrounding him, Scott felt Logan thrust him up against the truck’s now closed passenger side door, crushing his mouth over Scott’s in an eager, excited kiss. His arms enfolded Scott’s lean torso, holding him tighter as their lips bumped and collided revealing far more than words could say about his lover’s ease in their new surroundings. As their lips separated, Scott was suddenly winded. His forehead pressed in against Logan’s as the raspy, unnecessary conclusion to his sentence fell from his lips, “truck.”

“Right,” Logan replied flashing him a suggestive smirk. He leaned forward depositing another swift kiss to Scott’s lips. His arms constricted using his strength to pull Scott up off the ground before circling around away from the truck’s side to lower Scott down on the grassy path beyond the driveway.

“Yeah,” Scott’s face was hot, his breathing still uneven while watching Logan return to the truck again.

Logan pulled open the passenger side door and leaned into the truck extracting the bags they’d collected from the market together on their way up to the estate. Standing upright, Logan glanced over his shoulder at Scott again before nodding towards the house, “Want to take a look inside?”

“Absolutely,” Scott agreed returning his focus to the empty house before him. He moved onward attempting to take a bag from Logan but found himself met with empty arms and a disapproving shake of Logan’s head.

“I’ve got this Slim,” Logan promised puffing his chest out and shuffling the bags in his arms, “The key is under the mat over there and…”

“Under the mat?” Scott repeated looking to the dark colored door mat on the porch with an oversized smiling daisy wearing sunglasses splayed over the top of it. While Scott couldn’t quite pinpoint the color due to his mutation, he imagined it was white or yellow based upon the way the image hit him with the bold capital letters welcoming guests to the farm.

“That’s where it’s always been,” Logan nodded pushing past Scott to climb up the three concrete steps to the front door. He carefully set the bags onto one of the wooden rocking chairs. After securing them, Logan shrugged rubbing his palms together before motioning to the mat once again, “right here.”

“That seems secure,” Scott quipped when Logan bent down giving Scott an opportunity to steal a coveted perusal of Logan’s bottom buried beneath his jeans when Logan let out a strained groan.

“No one gets past the main estate coming in here. This place is all but forgotten most of the time,” Logan explained standing upright and turning to face Scott again. He held a weathered looking key in his left hand. A wide grin spread over his features as he wiggled the key in the air to put it on display.

“What?” Scott folded his arms in front of his chest watching as Logan scooped the bags up in one, powerful press of his arm to hug them into his broad, muscular chest, “No security code to put in for this place?”

“Don’t need one,” Logan replied rotating towards the door and inserting the key into the lock. It gave Scott the opportunity to look around the oversized fruit trees and lush gardens to get a feel for the place they’d decided to lay low in for the next few days.

“Let me guess,” Scott mouthed more so to himself, “with you around there was no need.”

“No one wants to argue with adamantium claws,” Logan joked pushing open the front door with his hip and stepping aside to invite Scott to enter the tiny farmhouse.

“I don’t think if they broke in that arguing would be their top priority,” Scott decided stepping up onto the porch and looking towards the residence that held secrets to his lover’s past. Feeling a knot of tension forming in the hollow spot between his shoulder blades, Scott raised his head higher and struggled to keep his thoughts focused on the present, “I imagine the main estate draws more attention.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Logan answered with a simple shrug, “I haven’t spent much time there since Norm worked on the expansion. I’ve never been a bells and whistles kind of guy if you know what I mean.”

“But you’ve been in there with him?” Scott questioned thinking about all they’d passed through to get to the farmhouse.

“A few times,” Logan shrugged as Scott moved into the darkened farmhouse.

The curtains on the windows were closed leaving little room for light to work its way inside on their surroundings. Instead Scott stood in the center of a darkened room wondering just what the next few days would hold in store for them.

“There is electricity in here, yes?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when Logan flipped a switch on behind where Scott stood. It revealed a modest looking living room area complete with a series of bookshelves and a plush looking sofa to his right. Beyond him on the far wall was an oversized, neutral colored reclining chair that appeared to have seen better days. Scott advanced through the room spotting a faded pinstriped couch against the far wall beneath a painting of what appeared to be a mural of the surrounding estate’s landscape.

“Norm painted that himself,” Logan motioned to the painting with a nod of his head. He brushed by Scott, moving forward with the groceries still in his arm to introduce Scott to their surroundings, “and that couch…”

“Let me guess,” Scott tilted his head to gauge Logan’s reaction to their new environment, “Norm picked that out for you specifically.”

“Nah, it was something that he got years later,” Logan shook his head dismissively clearly not picking up on the sarcasm in Scott’s moderately resentful tone, “It’s a sofa bed of sorts.”

“And that’s where we’re sleeping?” Scott couldn’t contain the surprise that carried over him in looking to the worn-down couch before him. It was far from being the luxury palace that the main estate presented, but it didn’t appear to be an upgrade from the crap motel’s accommodations either as Scott spotted a rip in the cushion.

“Nah, that’s uncomfortable as hell to sleep on. Believe me I’ve tried,” Logan leaned in over Scott’s shoulder to whisper over the back of his ear, “but it isn’t too rough for sitting on it.”

“So then where are we going to sleep if…?” Scott’s words trailed off when he looked past the living room area to the modest sized half wall revealing the kitchen before him.

“I assumed we’d stay in the bedroom together. There’s only one in the house, but if that’s going to be a problem…” Logan trailed off as Scott moved forward to take a closer perusal of the kitchen before him, “we can figure out alternative sleeping arrangements. The bed is only a double and…”

“I don’t mind sleeping with you,” Scott blurted out feeling a heat rise over his features when he spun around to face Logan again. Scott swallowed down hard, unable to refrain from delivering Logan an extensive, thorough perusal acutely aware of the way that the outlines of the fitted black t-shirt Logan was wearing seemed to cling to every one of Logan’s distinct, solid curves. They accentuated his hard, solid musculature when Logan breathed in nervously, “I mean I’m…”

“I can take the sofa bed if it’s going to be a problem for us,” Logan’s eyes swept over Scott’s body issuing him a naughty glance as it was clear they’d both found themselves caught up in the weight of Scott’s statement. It suspended in the air between them becoming inescapable when it was clear part of their earlier exchange in the truck still impacted them. Tilting his head to look away, Logan he cleared his throat and shuffled on his feet, “I know we talked about our taking time to figure things out, but…”

“I can sleep with you without ripping your clothes off,” Scott clarified behind pinched lips despite the racing in his heart. He licked his lips apprehensively before speaking up with less certainty than before, “I’m sure that we can work something out where…”

“We both know that I sleep naked most of the time Slim,” Logan replied hugging the bags from the farmer’s market to his chest like a crutch when his eyes reached Scott once again.

“So do I,” Scott shrugged turning away from Logan in an attempt to ignore the vivid imagery rushing through his mind. Taking in another calming breath, he walked in the opposite direction to take a closer look at the kitchen before him with a newfound interest.

“Since when?” Logan’s voice held a veiled spark of desire when Scott moved in to inspect the new smooth granite countertops and shiny metallic toned appliances that had been recently installed in the farmhouse kitchen.

“Since I started sleeping with you,” Scott answered in a casual, dismissive tone. He crouched down to look at the front of the industrial sized stove before him. Reaching out to touch the smooth surface, his shaky fingers followed the lines of the glass of the door at the front of it when the sound of Logan’s footsteps approaching caused his heart to speed up faster than before at the idea of Logan beside him, “That’s not going to be a problem is it?”

“I don’t know,” Logan’s words grew louder with his movement. Through the small space, Logan’s heavy footsteps moved in closer to him. There was a rustling sound the followed indicating that Logan was setting the grocery bags down on the granite countertop before bridging the distance between them, “that all depends.”

“On what?” Scott glanced up from the position he was crouched in. He tipped his head up realizing that Logan was a mere few feet in front of him placing his hands on his hips as if to refrain from reaching out to Scott.

From his position on the floor, Scott had a direct line of vision to Logan’s inseam. His gaze lingered up to the place that was deep in his mind where Logan had filled out his jeans rather well. That thought hadn’t been lost on Scott as Logan shifted on his feet, drawing emphasis to the bulge strained against his zipper. It caused Scott to swallow down hard and lick his lips. He knew he should turn away, find anything else to focus on, but with Logan struggling to keep his hands to himself, Scott knew it was a futile battle to deny his deliberate gawking.

“On us setting some ground rules for this,” Logan explained shifting on his feet again when Scott fought the urge to reach out and brazenly run his fingers up and over Logan’s thighs.

“Such as?” Scott asked lazily twisting his body towards Logan when his thoughts of the cabin had been replaced by images of Logan’s face above him twisted by desire and longing.

“We just need to make sure that we’re clear about…” Logan stopped himself when Scott licked his lips once again, “Slim?”

Scott made no movement to get up from the ground. Instead he remained frozen on the floor, locked in position gazing up at his lover as he found himself thinking about the last time he’d been down on his knees in front of Logan.

“What?” Scott questioned shifting on his knees so that he was perched back upon his thighs, seated on his folded legs to observing Logan with newfound desire.

“What are you doing down there?” Logan questioned taking a small step in closer to him.

“I was looking at the stove to make sure that there weren’t any hidden listening devices or equipment that could be…” Scott swallowed down hard. His face grew flushed, his mind focusing on Logan’s jeans and what was within when Logan stepped in closer yet.

“That’s not a bad idea. I mean I know these things look new, but the brand seems like something that…” Logan leaned over to inspect the top of the stove when Scott’s long, trembling fingers reached out across the distance between them to trace Logan’s outer thigh.

Silently Scott spread his fingers out, easing them across the thick, denim material before he raised his chin up to gauge Logan’s response. His heart was hammering in his chest, pounding to a rhythm entirely beyond all logic and rational thought when his flattened palm rose up Logan’s thigh and connected with Logan’s zipper causing Logan to discard his curiosity over the oven’s brand name in favor of redirecting his attention to Scott.

“Slim?” Logan stiffened against his touch. He hadn’t attempted to break away from the contact, but rather angled his head down to observe Scott with a cautious expression on his face.

“Yes?” Scott replied with a sly grin stealing Logan’s attention fully away from the oven when Scott’s shaky fingers teased over the jean’s zipper, pressing into the material with more determination behind his touch.

“What are you doing?” Logan questioned stiffly. Unable to take his eyes off Scott kneeling on the floor beneath him, Logan swallowed down hard. His lips curved in a cautionary warning, but with a teasing stroke of Scott’s index finger it was no use. Logan involuntarily arched his hips forward, indulging Scott’s roaming fingers for a few seconds before reaching out to clasp Scott’s wrist.

“I was thinking about taking you up on that offer to let me play with your cock for a little bit to help us get settled in,” Scott answered in a naughty, flirty tone. He arched forward blowing warmth over Logan’s jean covered leg before angling his head up to observe Logan again, “We said sex was off the table for now, but…”

“Slim, that’s not exactly what I meant when…” Logan gulped when Scott’s fingers resumed in their intimate massage, climbing up to reach out and pluck away at the button on Logan’s jeans. He propelled himself fully onto his knees, using his lightning quick fingers to tug the zipper down before sliding his palm inside to seek out Logan’s warmth.

“You know you want me to,” Scott wiggled his brow suggestively. His fingers encountered Logan’s thick, stiffening shaft doing his best to imprint his warmth upon Logan’s skin. The movement caused Logan’s face to flush, his eyelashes to flutter closed for a brief second when a small hiss carried over his lips.

“Of course, I want you to,” Logan breathing was ragged, his fingers of his free hand sliding into Scott’s thick, dark hair, curling into the short, wavy locks to pull him in closer.

“Then what’s the problem?” Scott words spilled from his lips. With the sound, he angled forward pressing a scorching, moist kiss over Logan’s open jeans and making no qualms about his intentions.

“Scott, we’ve got to set up base and…” Logan halfheartedly protested when Scott’s gripping fingers worked to push Logan’s jeans down past his hips, revealing his bare bottom in the shiny reflective surface of the dishwasher behind where Logan stood.

“We will,” Scott promised dipping down to press a kiss over Logan’s hip. He moaned at the first taste of Logan’s delicious skin, lightly tracing a pattern with the tip of his tongue over the dip in Logan’s pelvic bone, light and mischievous, swift and naughty before his mouth pushed over the base of Logan’s arousal, “God you make me so hot Logan. There’s just something about you that…”

“Slim I…” Logan swallowed down hard losing sight of his purpose when Scott’s lips surrounded him in his warmth, enveloping the tip of Logan’s growing body. It was against everything they’d discussed in the car, but with the feel of Scott’s slick, inviting mouth around him, coaxing Logan to surrender to desire, Logan’s fingers were entrenched in Scott’s hair, not so silently urging him to continue when his hips thrust forward caught up in his lover’s attention.

“Mmm…” Scott practically purred leaving no detail to chance. His mouth worked its magic over Logan’s body, full and doting, precise and provocative until Logan found himself stroking the side of Scott’s face to encourage his ministrations. The soft caress of Logan’s rough fingers over his cheekbone set Scott’s body ablaze, swept up in the warm desire that licked over his every synapse, fueling his surrender to temptation. Logan looked down at him with curious eyes and a rigid, spiraling tension building in that back of his throat with his low, guttural groan.

“Slim, this isn’t what we agreed to…” Logan grunted bringing his thick, commanding fingers into Scott’s dark hair to peel Scott’s mouth away from his body.

“It’s not sex,” Scott pleaded desperately ignoring Logan’s dismissal in favor of leaning forward and lapping away at Logan’s body, taking his time to ease Logan over his tongue, returning into his mouth before pulling back to concentrate on Logan’s tip, wild and reckless, doting and precise until finally Logan surrendered to temptation.

“It’s still not…” Logan moaned shamelessly, unable to deny Scott’s talented tongue. He found himself bucking forward enthralled with the idea of Scott around him, pleasing him, working him to a frenzy when suddenly his earlier words seemed to jolt him out of desire.

“Scott wait,” Logan carefully dislodged himself from his lover’s touch. Fighting like hell to remember his purpose with Scott on the floor gazing up at him with flushed features and damp, doting lips practically begging for him to return to what Scott had started minutes earlier, Logan found himself at a turning point. Cursing under his breath, Logan spun away from Scott and pulled his pants back up over his hips fighting to maintain control of his actions as he silently counted to ten repeatedly, “we can’t do this.”

“Why not?” Scott’s wounded voice questioned from behind Logan on the floor, “We both want to.”

“I know that,” Logan swallowed down hard, “but I promised you dinner and a date and…”

“We’re in the kitchen,” Scott’s voice held a certain sense of desperation despite his otherwise cool control and resolve.

“Not the same,” Logan finally found the courage to turn around and face his lover, half expecting Scott to be waiting on the floor in protest, but much to his relief Scott had stood upright, resuming in his sweep of the kitchen as if they hadn’t just shared a wild, erotic moment with one another that still had him hard and ready for a release.

“So, then I guess…” Scott leaned up against the counter far away from where Logan stood, bracing himself up with his hands behind his back as if to fend off whatever thoughts were consuming him.

“I’ll let you work your own way around while I put this stuff away,” Logan suggested leaving Scott to survey the tiny guest house on the property. He turned away from Scott again reaching for one of the bags in order to busy his shaking hands and unload their finds.

“Fine,” Scott decided with a huff, pushing past Logan as it was clear that there was something happening beneath the surface of their conversation. However, Logan hadn’t thought to question it when Logan clanked away at things in the kitchen, eagerly working to ready himself for the meal preparation ahead of him.

“This shouldn’t take too long,” Logan promised clearing his throat again when he glanced over the kitchen counter to discover Scott staring at the painting that Norm had created years earlier.

Scott decided that the painting served as a reminder of the man’s watchful eye upon Scott and Logan, keeping them from being truly alone with one another. He was half tempted to tear it off the wall under the rouse of examining it to see if it was bugged, but instead he rubbed his palms into the sides of his slacks fighting to contain the jealousy that carried over him. With each brushstroke that Scott observed, he could see that Norm was meticulous and quite good with his hands. Scott imagined that his talents were limitless as he found himself imagining the things that Logan and Norm had done with one another in the tiny little farmhouse that surrounded him. He guessed that when Norm had come seeking out Logan’s attention, that Logan hadn’t refused him at the idea of being ‘romantic’ instead. That thought caused Scott’s jealousy to bubble up and simmer inside of him imagining all the naughty, dirty things his lover had done with the pretentious owner of the farm who’d practically led Logan to his untimely ending. That thought was enough to cause Scott’s blood to boil, his mind filled with animosity towards their unseen host as the ghost of the man’s life with Logan lingered in the air around them driving Scott mad with an inconsolable amount of suspicion.

“Just who are you Norm?” Scott mouthed to himself moving past the front living area to deeper within the farmhouse into the narrow hallway wanting to know more about the man that Logan had lived with for over a year of his life. Yes, the guest house had been exactly as Logan had remembered it meaning that Norm hadn’t changed it over time. Or perhaps he hadn’t changed it for Logan in the hopes that one day Logan would return? That thought left Scott even more unsettled as his eyes took in his surroundings knowing full well that in this guest house he wouldn’t learn anything about their host, but rather he would see everything about Logan’s past linked to the man who’d sent Logan into Markus’ waiting arms to be destroyed.

“Slim?” Logan’s voice called out causing Scott to spin around and discover Logan standing before him with conflicted eyes.

“Yeah?” Scott questioned feeling the press of Logan’s chest up against his despite their separation in the kitchen minutes earlier.

“I just…” Logan swallowed down hard when his wrist caught Scott’s in the hallway preventing Scott from walking away despite their awkward separation in the kitchen, “I realize that we probably should talk about…”

“What?” Scott questioned biting down on his bottom lip. The tip of his tongue dragged down over his plump flesh in an involuntarily suggestive motion.

“You know,” Logan stepped in closer yet, his eyes focused on Scott’s lips despite the fact that his attention should’ve been focused on the kitchen, far away from where they were with one another in the cramped hallway with Scott pressed up against the wooden paneling wedged between the entryway to the bedroom and what Scott suspected was the tiny linen closet.

“No,” Scott answered dismissively. He raised his right hand up over the center of Logan’s chest, with index finger tracing over the midpoint before Logan angled his head again to invade Scott’s personal space, “I don’t know.”

“Before,” Logan nudged his nose against Scott’s, “in the kitchen…”

“You were putting groceries away,” Scott teased fingering the center of Logan’s black t-shirt, balling the fabric up into his fist before tilting his head in Logan’s direction tauntingly.

“And you were up to no good,” Logan recalled unable to mask the desire in his tone.

“Which you completely shut down,” Scott answered with a wrinkled expression on his face. His hold on Logan’s shirt constricted causing Logan to push forward closer yet effectively caging Scott up against the wall.

“I want to be romantic Slim,” Logan confessed brushing his lips against Scott’s, taking in the heat of Scott’s breath against his when longing surrounded the both of them, “I want to give you something more.”

“I know you do,” Scott’s grip on Logan’s shirt constricted further, wrenching Logan up against him. Their chests touched, their mouths so very close, yet world’s away when Logan found himself caught up in a haze, under the spell of the nearness of Scott, “and I want that.”

“Do you?” Logan arched a doubtful brow catching the way that Scott’s lips curved up in the beginnings of a twisted, naughty smirk.

“I do,” Scott promised guiding the hand that Logan was holding against Logan’s inner thigh, “I want that more than you can imagine, but right now I just…want…you.”

“Slim?” Logan searched his features, seemingly struggling to come to grips with Scott’s motivation. Their lips collided in a playful graze of skin to skin, yet far from consuming one another in the teasing brush of their lips against one another. It wasn’t kissing, yet both were hungry, urgent for something deeper as their arrival had served as a distraction to their plans for the day.

“There’s something deep inside of me that wants to feel alive in that place that only you can reach and satiate,” Scott practically whimpered gripping Logan’s shirt tighter than before, “Maybe it’s lust. Maybe it’s insanity, but there’s just something about you that…”

“If we give in to this…” Logan lowered his head just enough to catch Scott’s mouth in a playful nip.

“…then we’ll relieve some of this tension so that we can focus on the day ahead of us,” Scott half pleaded, his cheeks growing flushed when his fingers angled over Logan’s inner thigh, “We won’t have to be thinking about it when we’re working towards finding answers about Markus and…”

“We’re just opening the door to something darker in giving in,” Logan noted all that had transpired between them since he’d been released from the hospital, “If we stand a chance of becoming something more…”

“…then you’ll know how to make that happen,” Scott readily gripped at Logan’s hair, practically crushing their mouths together when lust and desire coiled over his body, causing him to grip onto Logan harder than before. His kiss was reckless and frantic, drinking up the taste of Logan’s response with fast, darting flicks of his tongue.

With a rough nudge Scott hit hard against the wall again, his bottom colliding with the groove in the wood panel, but was of no consequence as he raised his leg, coiling it around Logan’s hip to pull Logan flush in against him, to feel the heat of Logan hard and reckless, kissing Scott with wild, primitive licks and nips, biting down harder on Scott’s bottom lip as they parted breathlessly.

“Just once…” Scott’s voice grew more urgent, desperate to hold onto what he was feeling when his arm surrounded Logan’s shoulders, “Just once more before…”

“Slim, if we do this,” Logan struggled to get his thoughts out, his body involuntarily grinding against Scott’s, hips rocking into Scott, rubbing against him with the thick, throbbing ache that Scott had sparked inside of him. His eyes were dilated with want, his mouth savage and wild with each taste he took of Scott, but the grip on his control remained causing him to cease movement once again, “If we give in…”

“Then we’ll both feel so good,” Scott practically begged of him. His mind was no longer focused on securing the perimeter, on assessing the safety of their situation, but rather he was consumed by need—by a desperate, painful ache knowing that Logan’s rejection would undoubtedly cause his waning control to spiral out of his grip, “Please…”

“I want us to have something more,” Logan pressed his forehead to Scott’s, struggling to keep a rational thought between them when Scott trembled against him.

“I want that too. I promise you that I do, but right now…” Scott’s face flushed, his skin ablaze when his body involuntarily shuddered against Logan’s grip. He swallowed down hard unable to ignore the heat spiraling through his veins, bubbling beneath the surface of each passing second when it was clear that he was losing his grip on the control he’d fought like hell to hold onto.

“Slim, you’re burning up,” Logan frowned watching as Scott’s fingers uncurled from their position on Logan’s shoulder to reach out to grip at Logan’s wrist, “What’s wrong?”

“I need,” Scott whined reaching out behind him to grip at Logan’s thigh. There was an urgency as Scott’s fingers dug in deeper, twisting and holding onto Logan’s flesh when Scott let out a sharp, labored breath.

“Slim?” Logan questioned as Scott’s left hand wedged between them and pushed over the front of his own slacks opening them without hesitation, without thought to their surroundings in the cramped, darkened hallway.

“Please…just…if we don’t do this right now, then I’m going to lose control. I’m going to…” Scott’s words came out in a harsh, deep gasp causing him to tremble again. He further loosened his slacks, pushing them down over his upper thighs as he leaned up against the wooden paneled wall.

“Slim, are you…?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise watching as Scott desperately peeled at his briefs, revealing an urgency that Logan hadn’t quite understood until that moment in time. There in Norm’s darkened hallway Scott face was twisted with agony, leaving him bracing himself for disaster, asking for something that under most circumstances Logan wouldn’t dream of him doing. Now as Scott recklessly peeled his briefs down over his bottom as if he couldn’t get them off fast enough, relishing in the freedom stripping was offering him it seemed as though he was possessed by an invisible force guiding his actions. His skin was flushed, body trembling as he turned away from Logan instead pressing his face flush up against the cool wall paneling as if somehow the chill in the air would ease the warmth that radiated over his flushed skin.

“I need you,” Scott’s words were desperate, raw and urgent in ways that Logan hadn’t expected when Scott was practically sobbing, begging Logan for relief from the hidden torture that had somehow swept over him.

Without question, Logan found himself moving forward not quite sure what was happening with his lover. Still in listening to the way Scott was pleading, body coiled up in sudden agony at the idea of Logan refusing him, Logan found himself caught up in a position he hadn’t anticipated discovering with his lover before him begging for his touch. Gripping at Scott’s hips, Logan pulled Scott back towards him, watching as Scotts face torturously twisted as if he was in agony with nostrils flaring, his cheek pressing up against the wall when Scott’s clumsy fingers reached into his pocket to withdraw the tiny bottle of lubricant he’d picked up not long ago before they’d left the motel.

“Slim I don’t know if…” Logan opened his mouth to infuse logic and reason into what was happening, but instead was surrounded by something in the air between them—something dangerous that was pulling Scott further away when Logan stretched his fingers out gripping at the bottle in Scott’s palm. Without any further questioning it, Logan used his free hand to unbutton his pants, sliding the zipper down as Scott whimpered and twisted, overtaken by a primal need that went beyond sex. There was something about his pleading, about his body’s reaction that caused Logan to realize that something was happening deep inside of him that he still hadn’t shared with Logan. Still realizing the weight of Scott’s begging, Logan ran his fingers up and down over his body, willing himself to respond to the touch with Scott panting, shifting his hips back to help draw out desire.

“Please…” Scott begged grinding his hips back, rubbing his bottom over Logan’s thick, heavy arousal. The sensation was more than enough to get Logan rock hard, pushing himself between Scott’s crease sliding up and down, taking the time to embrace Scott’s warmth as he popped open the top of the bottle in his hand. Turning it over, Logan allowed its contents to spill out over his length, sliding over him in a thick, slippery line coating the top of him until he pushed the bottle into his back pocket. Reaching out he rubbed the slick lubricant over himself, finding the strength to keep his focus with Scott rubbing back into him begging for something more. It was enough to drive Logan mad—to take him from all rationality when seconds later, he was pushing his way inside of Scott, rough and wild, crushing his chest into Scott’s spine and feeling a fire burning beneath Scott’s flesh. His hips thrust forward and arched back pushing himself into Scott again and again, causing the warmth of Scott’s skin to grow and expand taking on an almost radiant glow, rising with each movement until Scott reached back behind him whimpering with each wild thrust.

“Harder,” Scott ordered raising his voice until Logan clamped his hand over Scott’s mouth, keeping Scott from shouting at him in his urgency. Even though they’d only arrived at the farm, it was clear that things had shifted between then as their coupling went from dangerous to reckless, each second growing in intensity until Scott’s fingers gripped at Logan’s thigh, twisting tightly with the release that rocked over him. With his orgasm, his bottom flexed over Logan’s body causing Logan to spill himself recklessly into Scott repeatedly until finally their damp clinging bodies pressed to one another against the wall, melded by the madness they’d entered a short while earlier.

As the seconds passed on, Logan remained against Scott’s cooling skin beneath him, connected to his lover spent by the sudden burst of passion they’d shared, but what he hadn’t been prepared for was the soft, quiet sobs that spilled from Scott’s lips. His head knocked up against the wood paneling, lost in something that Logan couldn’t quite place. It didn’t take long for the soft sounds to resonate in the cramped space revealing something deeper to their origins as Scott spoke up in a low, quiet voice.

“I’m so sorry,” Scott blurted out with a small sob, lowering his head to turn away from Logan when tears spilled down his face, “I shouldn’t have done that to you…I shouldn’t have forced you to…”

The guilt that poured out over Scott’s body surrounded Logan’s senses, causing him to squeeze his arms around Scott’s waist harder than before. There in the center of Norm’s hallway tangled up in their pants around their ankles, hot and sweaty, coming down from the animalistic release that they’d shared, Scott found the truth that his dreams had teased him with, but he hadn’t been strong enough to acknowledge until Scott stood before Logan condemning himself for actions that went beyond his control.

“Shhh….” Logan whispered soothingly over the back of Scott’s neck, kissing that spot just behind Scott’s ear he’d known could set Scott at ease. As expected, it caused Scott’s sobs to die down, to dissipate enough for Scott to find himself thinking about the last time he’d been met by such a raw, primitive, all-consuming need. It rocked over his senses, taking him to a moment of recall as Scott continued to quietly sob into the wall beneath him.

“I shouldn’t have been so out of control. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset over being here and…” Scott attempted to rationalize his actions, seemingly attempting to explain his behavior when Logan squeezed him tighter than before.

“How long have you had this Slim?” Logan cautiously questioned refusing to let go of the grip he had upon his lover.

“What?” Scott questioned in between broken sobs causing Logan to carefully withdraw from Scott’s body, opting instead to coax Scott into turning around and facing him fully.

“The hunger, the need to consume, the desperation,” Logan’s chest felt heavy as he touched Scott’s damp cheek.

“I…” Scott began seemingly at a loss when he lowered his head shamefully.

“Slim, how long has it been inside of you?” Logan questioned in a calm, patient tone despite the warning bells going to full alarm in the back of Scott’s head, “How long have you been holding it back?”

“Longer than you can even begin to imagine,” Scott divulged tearfully raising his head up to meet his lover’s questions head on, “It’s been there for so long, but now…”

“It wants to consume you because you’ve always been what it wanted,” Logan finished knowingly when it seemed that the tables had turned for them in ways Scott hadn’t ever truly anticipated when Logan stepped into this new world armed and ready to face the future head on, “You’re the host of the Phoenix now, aren’t you?”

“Logan I…” Scott swallowed down hard, unable to mask the tears that consumed him.

“That’s the sacrifice you made for Jean. That’s what you did to save her. You let it…” Logan’s jaw dropped when Scott nodded shamefully.

“I can control it Logan. I can hold it back in ways that she can’t, but sometimes…” Scott confessed guiltily when his emotions tugged at him in ways he hadn’t been prepared for, “Sometimes it slips beyond my reach and I must find ways to pull it back. I have to struggle to keep the reigns upon it and…”

“This was part of the struggle. Just now when we were…” Logan’s body tightened at the knowledge Scott was pushing upon him, “We…was that…was it the Phoenix doing this?”

“That was me,” Scott pleaded reaching out to touch the sides of Logan’s face. He held on as if his life depended upon it, forcing Logan to look at him with desperation in his tone, “That was the only way I could stay in control—that I could hold it back by feeding into it. By giving it what it wants then I was able to control it and…”

“By us…” Logan’s face paled with Scott’s admission.

“Passion reigns it back in,” Scott explained quietly behind a trembling voice, “The lust feeds its appetite and gives me the opportunity to lock it inside when it becomes too much. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does…”

“You need to fuck,” Logan gasped involuntarily releasing Scott when the weight of his lover’s words rushed down upon him, “That’s why you came to me in the first place because you knew after what you saw during the trials that I would…”

“No,” Scott shook his head adamantly when his words came out in a desperate sob, “I knew that we’d waited so long to give in to it—that we both wanted something deeper that…”

“Gave the Phoenix enough fuel to keep it satisfied until it what? Used you like a puppet to feed its appetite?” Logan blinked back at him incredulously, “Is that what you’re telling me? That it pulls your strings like a marionette when…?”

“I can regulate it, but only when I’m in control,” Scott reached out for him desperately, “For me to achieve complete control I have to clear my mind and my body has to…”

“Be fucked into oblivion to feel free?” Logan swallowed down hard at Scott’s admission, “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

“When we’re together it’s the only time I feel free—that I feel like I’m able to forget about everything else,” Scott attempted to appeal to him once again when Logan’s expression became unreadable, “It’s the one time that I can be myself and experience everything that I was meant to be. It calms and soothes me in way that…”

“Gives it what it craves so you can be pretend to be free of the curse you foolishly invited upon yourself?” Logan arched a scrutinizing brow. His lips transformed into a snarl as his eyes glared spitefully at Scott in his confession, “So you can what? Pretend that this isn’t fucked up in ways that neither one of us should ever have to face?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Scott argued throwing his head back against the wall in frustration, “It was going to kill Jean. It already murdered my child and it wanted me. What else was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to let it kill her?”

“Of course not,” Logan argued softening his voice. He took in a small breath fighting to ignore the bulk of the truth that had been slapped in his face, “but you could’ve found another way. You should have tried to…”

“I did,” Scott answered harshly when his skin bubbled over with frustration, “We all did, but there weren’t any other options. I was the only thing that would appease the hunger, so I surrendered myself to the beast knowing the cost that would be associated with it.”

“Even if it meant giving up your freedom to be a slave to this…horrible thing inside of you,” Logan looked down to Scott’s chest reminding Scott of the way Logan had explained that he’d been forced to drive his claws up into Jean’s sternum in his other world to save her from the monster that Scott willingly housed within the walls of his body, “Do you have any idea what it did to everything and everyone I loved the first time around?”

“I’m sorry that you faced that Logan, but this time…with my control,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth. He clenched his fingers at his sides, struggling to keep his calm when Logan’s temper brushed over him rippling in dark, agitated waves, “I can control it. I can keep it at bay and…”

“You can barely keep yourself at bay,” Logan mouthed with a thick, air of sarcasm in his tone, “Your grip is almost nonexistent and what happened before…”

“I’m in control now,” Scott reached for him again, fighting to keep Logan close to him when his face twisted with desperation, “I just needed to push it back down and…”

“You just had sex with me to prevent it from taking you away,” Logan blurted out incredulously, “You had me fuck you so that you could appease its control upon you and…”

“I had sex with you because I wanted to…” Scott declared readily reaching out for Logan again only to feel Logan rebuff his embrace.

“No, you didn’t.” Logan shook his head dismissively, “Maybe you never did.”

“I need you Logan,” Scott stretched his arms out for him once again, “I want you in my life and…”

“Do you?” Logan asked watching him closely when a wild sneer pressed upon his lips, “Or is it the thing inside of you that’s decided it needs me because you sure as hell haven’t seemed like you have unless it’s having me in your bed to appease the Phoenix?”

“That’s not true,” Scott choked up on his words when Logan’s anger resonated in the air around them, bringing with it a sense of foreboding and fury thinly veiled in Logan’s tone, “That’s not at all what this is about. That’s not why I…”

“Then tell me that you love me Slim,” Logan challenged watching him closely. He leaned forward hovering in over Scott with his sudden demand, “Make me believe that all of this means something more to you—that you want something beyond a way to keep your demons at bay when they twist you apart inside.”

“Logan, I…” Scott choked up unable to bring to life the words that he’d withheld for so very long.

“Exactly,” Logan stepped away from him. Shaking his head Logan bent down to wrench his pants up, clumsily pulling them over his hips to bring them into place again. He carefully pushed himself inside attempting to shake the weight of their actions when Scott reached out to him once again. 

“I…I love you,” Scott begged of him, blurting out the words that Logan had so desperately wanted to hear, but Scott had withheld for so very long between them.

“No,” Logan raised his chin up to meet Scott’s tormented features, “you don’t and it’s painfully obvious you never did.”

“Logan please…” Scott reached for him once again.

“The other guy got that. He knew it more than anyone, but I was too stupid to see the truth until it hit me in the face,” Logan let out an ironic laugh as he pulled away from Scott, “You never loved me at all. You never believed that we had a chance at a happy ending with one another. You just saw me as the key to you being able to control the beast that you allowed to take the reins on your life. I was nothing more than a pawn for you in all of this to be sacrificed, wasn’t I?”

“No,” Scott shook his head adamantly when his skin once again felt ablaze causing his heart to race with fear, with the thought of losing Logan again for the second time in his life, “you’re everything to me Logan. You’ve always been…”

“…the big fucking joke that you carried in your back pocket until the day that the rest of the world decided that they were finished with you,” Logan laughed wildly as his voice transformed into madness around Scott mirroring the same rage his counterpart carried with him before threatening to leave Scott forever, “Admit it Slim, you’ve never seen me as anything more than your backup plan because that’s all I’ll ever be to you.”

“No, that’s not true…that’s not…” Scott pleaded, desperate to find a way to reach out to Logan when the loud penetrating sound of a smoke alarm sounded off in the distance causing him to sit upright with a start.

Scott’s breath was heaving in his chest, his body ablaze as he looked around the room to discover that he was sprawled out across the center of a double bed, staring up at a speckled ceiling atop of an array of colorful comforters. To his left his shoes were on the chair beside him, indicating he must’ve placed them there before settling onto the bed beneath him. Directly on the wall in front of him, he could see another painting that mirrored the one that Norm had painted in the living room area indicating that it was another Norm exclusive masterpiece that graced the walls of the tiny room that surrounded him. Sitting up straighter Scott looked around the unfamiliar room realizing that he was drenched in sweat, struggling to remember how he wound up on the bed in the new surroundings when the sound of footsteps approaching pulled him from his nightmare to discover Logan at the doorway to the room watching him with concerned eyes.

“You still mad at me?” Logan questioned leaning in against the frame with arms folded in front of his chest.

“What?” Scott questioned struggling to hide his labored breathing by pushing his fingers up through his damp, dark hair, “What do you mean?”

“You stalked off in here after we had our…” Logan’s words trailed off when guilt carried over his features, “disagreement in the kitchen. When you left, we didn’t really get the opportunity to talk about what…well, what didn’t happen there.”

“You were right,” Scott decided swallowing down a nervous breath. He turned away from Logan struggling to control his thoughts when guilt over his secret consumed him, “I shouldn’t have pushed it like I did. I want to wait too.”

“You do?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise. He lowered his arms down at his side offering up a hopeful expression when Scott finally found the courage to face Logan once again, “You mean that…?”

“I want you to know that I want you only for you Logan,” Scott explained thinking about the troubling content of the nightmare that had consumed him, “I don’t want there to be any doubts about what it is that you mean to me the next time that we make love to one another.”

“So, you’re saying that…?” Logan stepped into the room wearily, his eyes searching his surroundings when Scott sat up straighter on the bed.

“I want to know what it’s like to make love to you,” Scott swallowed down hard all the while remembering the images that had haunted him in his nightmare. It felt so real, so vivid that a part of him wondered if he’d tapped into something much deeper than just his concerns over the one truth he hadn’t shared with Logan. Now observing as Logan stood before him with a dirty dish towel draped over his shoulder and a concerned expression on his face, Scott found himself reevaluating the way he’d chose to interact with his lover. With a slow inhale, he could take in the savory scents of the culinary delights that Logan had promised earlier and almost immediately he’d felt a rumble in his stomach, “Is that dinner?”

“Yeah, it’s almost done, which is why I was going to come in here and see if you were awake,” Logan explained stepping in closer to the bed, “but let’s get back to that part where you said you wanted to make love to me.”

“Right,” Scott brought his hand up over the back of his neck to rub at the knot of tension that carried over him, “I know that I’ve been a bit pushy with things lately, but…”

“We both have been kind of pushy,” Logan cautiously moved forward nodding to the bed to silently request Scott’s permission to take a seat beside him.

“Go ahead,” Scott nodded to the empty space on the comforter. He felt the weight of Logan press down upon it when Logan was finally seated beside him.

“The thing is,” Logan broke the silence between them, “I don’t want to screw this up. I know that I’ve been coming on strong, forcing you to see things the way that I do because I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes I did before. I had a lifetime full of regret that I’m dealing with, but at the same time I just dropped a major bombshell on you that the guy you’ve been thinking about for all this time isn’t the guy that’s with you right now and…”

“It’s more than that Logan,” Scott tentatively reached out to place his hand over Logan’s thigh. He squeezed gently careful not to push his boundaries when his damning dream brought him a strange moment of insight, “I haven’t been entirely honest with you either and I’d like to change that.”

“How so?” Logan tilted his head to the side to observe him closely.

“Maybe we can talk about it over dinner,” Scott suggested thinking about the consequences of his inactions in his dreams, “I realize that in your world things were different than they are here, but you still have a right to know about the missing pieces of the puzzle. You shouldn’t be left in the dark just because I’m afraid to discuss things that…”

“That what?” Logan asked again.

“That might be upsetting. The truth is that there are things that I’ve purposely withheld because I’ve been too afraid to discuss them after I invited them into my life,” Scott squeezed at Logan’s thigh once again, “but you mean too much to me for me to hide behind my fear and pretend that…this doesn’t mean everything to me.”

“Slim?” Logan questioned as Scott twisted to face him fully.

“What I’m saying is that I don’t want to miss out on this good thing we’ve got going between us because of my inability to share all that I am with you,” Scott explained reaching for Logan’s hand and offering up a small squeeze, “I want to tell you the truth tonight. All of it. Over dinner…unless I’ve already screwed things up be behaving like a selfish prick earlier.”

“I’m the selfish one,” Logan returned the squeeze as their fingers were interlaced with one another, “I should’ve been a bit more appreciative of what you were trying to do. I mean I was the one who invited you to do that in the truck and…”

“I should’ve respected what you were trying to accomplish here with me,” Scott raised Logan’s hand up to his lips and offered a small, chaste kiss over the top of it, “I know how much this means to you and I haven’t been treating you the way I should. You deserve better.”

“What I want is you,” Logan promised reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face, “Slim, I love you. I know that’s going to take a while for you to accept, but it’s the truth.”

“I know it is,” Scott nodded fighting to contain the lingering emotion that carried over his dream, “and you have to believe me when I tell you that I want to be that man that you need, but to do that I can’t keep holding back. I can’t keep pretending that everything is okay when it really isn’t. I can’t keep hiding from what I truly am.”

“You’re the man I love and together I know we can work through whatever it is you’ve been holding back on,” Logan smiled back at him. The hopefulness in his face was a deep contrast to the man in Scott’s nightmare tormented and disgusted by the man that Scott had become. Instead in Logan’s eyes he could see the hope for a future and a life that Scott had never offered up to his counterpart despite their many failed attempts at reaching for one another.

“I want to be that I’m the man who deserves all that you want to offer me Logan,” Scott confessed leaning in closer to Logan as he felt the pull on his heartstrings in facing the man beside him, “I want to be the one you need, who is worthy of all that you’re offering me.”

“To me you already are. You’re…” Logan opened his mouth to reassure Scott, but his words were silenced by the soft press of Scott’s lips to his, slow and tender, caught up in the weight of the emotion that carried over them.

Without thought or reason, Scott gave in to his instincts kissing Logan with the same consideration that he’d given to all the other things that mattered in his life. With no destination planned or strings attached, he simply allowed the kiss to grow and evolve revealing the heart of the sentiment that he’d fought to keep buried inside of him for so very long. Sliding in closer, he curled his fingers into Logan’s wild, unruly hair hoping to strengthen the bond between them as their kiss expanded, sending an altogether different kind of warmth between them until they’d parted breathlessly. Their foreheads were still pressed up against each other as Logan turned into the kiss, now facing Scott completely on the bed.

“I want to truly be worthy of you James Howlett,” Scott’s words vibrated over the warmth of Logan’s mouth keeping their connection alive between them, “and to do that it starts with dinner tonight…that is if you’ll still have me.”

“Of course, I’ll have you,” Logan promised leaning in to gently kiss Scott once again. Their breath intermingled as Scott’s heart raced, caught up in the comfort of being draped in Logan’s arms, held against his chest and connected to him on the edge of the small guest bed, “although I do have a small confession of my own to make.”

“What’s that?” Scott questioned easing back to see the somber expression on Logan’s face.

“I haven’t been completely up front about everything this place entails,” Logan admitted quietly. He reached for Scott’s hand offering up a small squeeze before standing up and offering his hand to Scott again from his new position, “I know that dinner’s almost done, but there’s something that I want to show you.”

“Alright,” Scott agreed accepting Logan’s fingers in his. Moments later Scott was up on his feet, pressed into Logan’s strong, solid chest gazing at the men who’d consumed his thoughts as of late, “I’m all yours.”

“You have no idea how good that feels to hear it,” Logan grinned widely, unable to hide the sheer excitement that carried over him in having Scott’s full attention. With the warmth of Logan’s arms around him, Scott found himself filled with hope that perhaps he hadn’t wasted away his last chance at finding happiness and getting things right for the first time in his miserable life.


	28. Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan's past prompts a painful glimpse into the man he once was as Scott contemplates his own troubling secret.

**Secret:** _something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others._

“So, what did you want to show me?” Scott questioned unable to quell the curiosity that carried over him when Logan’s arms surrounded him from behind. Together they took a step forward moving fluidly in stride with one another almost like one singular unit until Logan faltered long enough to lightheartedly squeeze his fingers around Scott’s hip.

“You’ll see,” Logan promised depositing a small kiss over the back of Scott’s neck just beneath his hairline. Upon contact, Scott’s skin bristled with sensation knowing full well that the nearness of Logan did something to him that he wasn’t quite certain how to explicate. Adjusting himself in Logan’s arms, he leaned back into the ripple of heat Logan’s breath deposited over his skin. Instinctively, Scott’s fingers squeezed over Logan’s bicep, savoring the warmth of Logan beside him until finally they moved together away from the center of the tiny bedroom.

With a slight press around Scott’s waist, Logan’s arms held Scott for a few seconds longer before he reluctantly stepped aside and grasped Scott’s hand again. Silently the two exited the bedroom moving out into the hallway that served as the setting for Scott’s earlier nightmare. With the memory fresh on his mind, Scott fought against the shudder that carried over him knowing full well that his fears were warning him to stop lying to his lover about what he was. Inside his head the truth was begging to be poured upon his lover’s ears, but instead of revealing it he waited silently for Logan’s surprise when Logan released his hand and moved over to the linen closet door.

“This place was designed with safety in mind years ago,” Logan stated reaching for the doorknob. With a simple twist of the handle, the door creaked open to reveal a series of small, neutral colored wooden shelves with various colored towels and neatly folded bed sheets stacked upon them. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the space as Scott found himself watching Logan with a curious expression overtaking him, “Back when we first arrived here after the war, this place needed some work as it was from a different era that needed updating. I know it doesn’t look like much, but this…well…”

Logan’s words came to an abrupt ending when his arm stretched beyond the stack of towels to press his fingers up against the interior wall. He patted the drywall seemingly searching for something when suddenly his fingers stopped moving. A triumphant grin carried over his focused features when he pushed into the wall.

“Here we are,” he announced moving a step back and readily coaxing Scott to take a closer look at the interior of the linen closet.

“As you can see not everything is as it seems,” Logan explained when the shelves swung to the side revealing a darkened pathway with narrow steps leading down to what Scott assumed was a hidden lower level of the guest house. Before he could question it, Logan was speaking up again providing him with the answer to his unspoken question, “In the fifties it served as a bomb shelter, but now…,well, why don’t you take a look for yourself?”

“It’s kind of dark down there,” Scott noted with a neutral expression on his face. He moved in closer to Logan, leaning in so that his arm skimmed up against the side of Logan’s shoulder. With the contact Scott stepped back perhaps a little too quickly to feign an air of casual ease. Instead he found himself fighting to pretend that the touch didn’t have a profound effect on him when Logan’s laughter rumbled over him.

“There’s electricity,” Logan explained leaning forward to direct Scott’s attention to the switch on the wall. Stretching his fingers out, he eased his arm past Scott, leaning forward to flip the switch before standing upright once again, “I did all the wiring myself, which I have to admit was quite the feat since an electrician I am not.”

“You mean you put this together?” Scott’s curiosity was piqued when he moved past Logan to inspect the narrow flight of steps leading down to an open area at the bottom of the pathway.

“I played a role in getting the wheels turning on the project,” Logan’s voice followed Scott’s movement as the two descended from the farmhouse hallway making their way into the hidden world beneath Norm’s guest house on the property.

Once they’d found themselves standing in on the ground of the lower level, Scott was surrounded by the near-silent humming of fans and machinery whirring in action. On the far side of the room there were more than a dozen monitors set up to his right revealing a full view of the perimeter of the farm. Each video camera was assigned to cover a specific part of the estate beginning with the first monitor putting the living room they’d walked in earlier on display. The one directly beneath it put the tennis courts and the swimming pool into view. Another panned over the vast apple trees giving a clear view of the property when it became painfully clear that every inch of the estate was under surveillance.

“As you can see, we’ve got security at our full disposal,” Logan’s voice resonated in the closed off, cooler room causing Scott to weigh in on their surroundings.

“Where does this feed go to?” Scott questioned thinking about the security system that Markus had hacked at the hospital. Suddenly his nerves got the best of him when he spun around to face Logan once again with a frown, “Who is running this?”

“We are,” Logan stepped forward pointing to the controls in front of him, “Norm keeps the backlog here in the servers over there and…”

“Over where?” Scott questioned turning to see a rack of server stations behind a gate much like they’d been at the club where Markus had housed his trial operation. Stepping forward Scott inspected the whirring servers before him wondering just what he and Logan had entered.

“Everything is locally operated, and the remote response isn’t activated unless there’s a problem and we trigger for security to intervene,” Logan explained moving in behind Scott to aid in his inspection of the equipment presented before him, “I understand your concerns about Markus, but he can’t touch this place. Norm has state of the art equipment and…”

“No security system is infallible,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown when the weight of those words hung heavy over him, “especially given the length of Markus’ connections. His reach expands beyond any normal human comprehension and for him to hack into a computer is nothing. He was able to penetrate S.H.I.E.L.D.’s defenses at the hospital and…”

“He can’t touch this Slim. I promise,” Logan stepped up to wrap his arms around Scott’s waist, “This is a safe house.”

“That you shared with a man you knew a lifetime ago,” Scott stiffened against Logan’s touch. Finding it hard to be at ease, Scott was caught up in a moment of conscience when he reluctantly spun around to face his lover fully, “I know that in your former life you and Norm undoubtedly had a relationship with one another, but given his connections I’m not going to lie and pretend that I’m comfortable with any of this.”

“I know that you’re concerned Slim, which is why I wanted you to see this. I wanted to show you that…” Logan prepared to break Scott into their surroundings and defend their host’s position.

“I can see that you still feel decidedly loyal to him Logan, but I’m not going so convinced of Norm’s intentions,” Scott divulged quietly bracing himself for his lover’s response to his truth, “I understand that you feel safe with his assistance, but I’m not about to let my guard down given what he thrust you into with the trials…”

“He didn’t know what was happening inside them,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown as his arms still surrounded Scott.

“How could he not?” Scott scowled, “Given everything he has at his disposal, he must’ve been aware of the happenings behind closed doors with Euphoria and…”

“He briefed me on the situation Scott, but it was imperative that he enlisted the help of someone he could trust,” Logan attempted to reason with him, “He came to me because he knew that I wasn’t about to let him down when…”

“You were in the thick of the madness that Markus was manufacturing,” Scott reminded him sharply, “You were putting yourself in danger every time you took a dose of Euphoria and…”

“I didn’t think it would do anything with my healing factor,” Logan defended himself, “Yes, I knew that it dampened other mutant powers, but…”

“It was taking away the very thing that has kept you alive this long and given that Norm was aware that it could be a possibility for you…,” Scott’s voice raised with apprehension.

“He didn’t know. He couldn’t have known just how much it would’ve impacted me,” Logan argued further, “If he had any idea the kind of danger that I would end up in…”

“You almost died as a result of those trials,” Scott reached up to touch the side of Logan’s face, “and that concerns me. I won’t pretend that I can ignore that reality when your heart was in the palm of my hand. You were fighting for your last breath because the Euphoria was destroying everything about you that made you who you are Logan. It was stealing your life away and…”

“He was searching for his granddaughter,” Logan’s frown intensified, “When she went missing what did you expect him do to? Did you think he should just sit back and do nothing after she got caught up in all of that?”

“How did she get caught up in all of that?” Scott questioned bluntly, “How did she gain access to Markus and his drugs?”

“How did any of these kids wrapped up in it?” Logan tossed back at him, “We don’t know how far the reach was for Markus and…”

“Markus was doing the trials to gain access to secrets that he shouldn’t be privy to,” Scott reminded him with a shake of his head, “He wasn’t looking to entice young kids off the street into being lab rats for his means of getting them high. He was seeking out something that he wouldn’t find without putting together a carefully selected sample of volunteers.”

“Yeah, I get that, but at the same time…” Logan began again.

“You have no idea what Norm was doing in recruiting you to be a part of that,” Scott blurted out stubbornly, “Why not have you go seeking out his granddaughter personally? You’re known for being a good tracker, are you not?”

“Of course, I am, but…” Logan stammered.

“And I imagine that hadn’t change through the years, yes? I imagine when you were at war you were using that ability and…”

“What about it?” Logan frowned.

“Norm was aware of that, was he not?” Scott countered behind pinched lips.

“Of course, he was Slim, but I fail to see your point in any of this considering that…”

“The sample of volunteers that Markus had were both human and mutant,” Scott interrupted weighing out the thoughts in his mind, “They were all selected after going through a rigorous process to be accepted and…”

“Norm pushed the paperwork along, so I didn’t have to go through that process Slim. I skipped over all of that because…” Logan prepared to explain.

“Your powers made you special Logan, but your insight,” Scott pondered as he began to form a string of a hypothesis in his mind, “What you know from your years not only in this world, but in your old life—the things that you’ve seen…”

“What of them?” Logan questioned when Scott withdrew from Logan’s embrace.

“They hold secrets to something that the rest of us, aside from perhaps Charles have no privy to,” Scott continued pacing around the room, “What you’ve lived through, what you’ve seen…”

“I spent my time in the trials thinking about you,” Logan reminded Scott with a huff, “I spent most of my time reliving the last moments we shared together in my old life—the things that he and I did when…”

“What did you do?” Scott asked turning around to face him once again, “What did you share?”

“I already told you that we were…” Logan frowned when Scott resumed in pacing again, “Slim?”

“There must’ve been something there—something that Markus felt he could use to exploit you and…”

“Whoa there…” Logan reached out to collect Scott by his elbow. With a firm grip of his fingers over the curve, Logan coaxed Scott back into his arms again, “I realize that this thing with Markus needs to be figured out, but Norm isn’t a part of that. He was seeking out his granddaughter. Slim, she’s sixteen and is the only remaining member of his family and with her being gone…”

“I know what he told you Logan, but something about all of this doesn’t add up. You said that she was in the hospital with no memory of where she’d been before you were in the trials,” Scott reminded him.

“I’m aware, but the kid had no recollection what happened to her. Norm didn’t know what he was dealing with after she was targeted, so I volunteered to go on the inside…”

“And get yourself almost killed for answers that were undoubtedly always out of your reach,” Scott looked back to the monitors once again, “I know that you want to believe that he’s helping us, but…”

“He is helping us,” Logan abruptly released Scott and took a step back, “because a while ago we were stuck in that dump wondering what the hell our next move would be, but now we’re in a safe place where…”

“…we’re under the watch of the security camera network,” Scott finished focusing on the camera that was positioned in the kitchen where he’d attempted to entice Logan earlier in the day. Something about the situation set him on edge as he began to scan the various feeds before him.

“Slim, I swear to you that this isn’t what you’re worried about it being,” Logan sighed approaching him once again, “Norm let us stay here because…”

“…it keeps you close,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, “without anyone losing sight of where we are and what we are doing. It keeps us effectively under observation to anyone who has decided to keep tabs upon us.”

“Slim…” Logan’s frown intensified when he brushed past Scott to discover the way that Scott was focused on the kitchen camera, “I can shut it off if you want. I have the codes and…”

“Do you really think that’s going to be the solution?” Scott folded his arms in front of his chest. A strained breath carried over him when his gaze followed the screens to what appeared to be a live feed of the main estate’s interior. Moving forward Scott stepped in closer eyeing the monitors with intense scrutiny to familiarize himself with the perimeter.

“Maybe not, but…” Logan hesitated rubbing his palms over his thighs nervously as if trying to find a reason to refrain from reaching out to touch Scott all over again, “I can also erase the footage if you’re worried about…”

“About what?” Scott questioned turning to Logan and seeing the way that Logan’s gaze was focused on the monitor showing the kitchen, “Oh. To be honest right now my attempt at sucking your cock in front of a camera is the least of my concerns. I’d rather discuss the breech of privacy that we’ve walked into here with the cameras all around us. That’s practically inviting danger inside and…”

“We’re in control here Slim,” Logan argued.

“I don’t think we are,” Scott folded his arms in front of his chest. He perused the wall of monitors again with a scowl spreading over his handsome features.

“Look,” Logan moved across the room making his way over to another doorway that Scott hadn’t noticed upon their descent to the basement. There was a keypad beside it that Logan readily entered a code upon. Seconds later the door swung inward to reveal an oversized computer system hidden from the rest of the surveillance area.

“What is this?” Scott asked temporarily forgetting about the monitors long enough to move towards the new discovery that Logan had offered him.

“The place where we hold all control on the outcome of this situation,” Logan explained stepping aside as Scott found himself intrigued by the hidden corners of the secret basement of the otherwise unassuming farmhouse.

Inside Scott realized that the room rivaled that of which he’d seen at Hank’s disposal at the school. Hell, it put the S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers headquarters to shame from what Scott remembered. Instead of a simple bomb shelter the room was filled with what appeared to be a supercomputer and various gadgets that Scott was certain he wouldn’t have the first clue of understanding. There was an oversized black leather chair in front of the computer that reminded Scott of the kind of seat those cartoon villains would have in shows he would watch every now and then as a child when he’d been fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of television at the orphanage. It was the centerpiece of the system, serving as what Scott suspected was a comfortable positioning in the hub as Norm kept control of the property around him.

 _All this to keep a watch on his animals_ , Scott thoughts were dripping with sarcasm internally when he found himself questioning just what kind of man Logan had willingly invited into his life.

Shaking the thought of Logan’s former lover, Scott perused the wall to his left where he discovered a Van Gogh print mounted on the wall that he’d recognized from various trips to museums through the years. It was a cheap poster reprint, but it was splayed across the wall hanging above a series of medals and preeminent honors upon awards that Norm had been given through his years of service. With each one of them they revealed their host to be a hero—a national treasure as one photo mounted on the wall to the left of the poster print showed the man Scott suspected was Norm shaking hands with a former president.

Stepping forward, Scott found himself staring at the aged black and white image seeing the pride in the man’s features when it was clear that Norm was someone to be noticed. His strong, solid muscular frame revealed a strength that went beyond the average man. Though he was clearly much younger when the photo was taken, at the time he was in tip top shape that almost rivaled Captain America, if Scott was honest with himself.

Speaking of which, there was another image of the same face before Scott with what appeared to be a replica of Cap’s shield on his arm as Norm was posed beside yet another series of great world leaders clearly savoring the moment of personal triumph in his photo opportunity. His strong, steely features with a sharp, chiseled jawline and jet-black hair revealed in Norm’s youth he had been devastatingly handsome in the traditional sense. He carried all the right features to brazenly display the bravado associated with old-style sexual masculinity, which was undoubtedly a part of the thrill Logan must’ve experienced in keeping his company. There was something distant in his light-colored eyes and almost too perfect in his manufactured smile and confident stance as each image revealed a glimpse of the man Logan had once loved. For Scott, it was unnerving to be surrounded by not only the man’s accomplishments, but the memory of his undeniable good looks. It was clear in the photos along that Norm was a man of confidence, surrounded by that self-assured charisma that Scott had spent his life pretending he could feign in his own encounters. However, with each stolen glance at the man Norman once was, Scott found that he couldn’t turn away when his eyes scrutinized each one of the man’s photos seeking out some kind of superficial flaw that extended into his character thus proving Scott’s suspicions about their host were based on more than something as simple as jealousy.

“That was in Vietnam,” Logan’s voice broke through Scott’s condemning thoughts.

Tilting his head to the side, Scott discovered Logan beside him pointing to an image of a series of eight men mounted near the edge of the wall, far from the more grandiose displays of Norm’s accomplishments. Silently stepping in beside his lover to get a closer look, Scott kept his eyes upon the black and white image of the group of men standing together, posing with wide grins on their faces and guns in their hands no doubt unaware of the nightmare they’d walked into with one another. Each man was fresh faced and smiling looking more like a class photo than a wartime unit set there to engage in battle against the enemy they were told to take down.

“None of them had any fucking clue what we were in for with all of that,” Logan’s voice was distant, no doubt returning to the memory of the men who stood beside him all looking more enthusiastic and gung ho about what was ahead of them. Instead of war, it came off like a fraternity gathering with each soldier having more bravado than the next. However, as Scott perused the photo, he caught a glimpse of Logan off to the far right of the frame seated on an oversized crate with a gruff expression on his face.

“But you did,” Scott noted moving in closer yet to inspect the photographer further, “You knew what being there would do…”

“There’s certainly never a real winner in wartime Slim, but there definitely wasn’t in that one,” Logan bridged the distance between them. Silently his arms surrounded Scott’s waist, hugging Scott back against his chest. Scott observed the younger version of Logan in the image before him looking almost identical to the man that now enclosed Scott in the small space they’d shared. His hair was styled slightly different and he’d been dressed in a standard issue uniform with a cigar pinched between his lips, looking as disinterested as ever in the photographer that was taking the photo.

“Norm and I were the only ones from our platoon that made it out of there alive…aside from Victor that is,” Logan’s voice held regret and a hint of despair.

“Victor was there?” Scott questioned turning around to see Logan’s face divided by something that resembled guilt and anger all rolled into one. He took in a slow, uneasy breath forcing himself to look over at Scott again when the mention of the man who’d tormented Logan’s life seemed to spark something deeper inside of him.

“Victor was always there,” Logan sighed heavily, “For most of my life it was just the two of us against the world.”

“Together at war with the world around you?”

“At everything. For so long it was us against the world, but after a while he just…he just didn’t know when to quit,” Logan explained in a tight, agitated tone, “We’d been through battles before with each one delivering more carnage than the last. It was as if with each war, something changed inside of him—something turning more feral and…”

“What?” Scott questioned.

“This one was the worst,” Logan shuddered upon completion of his words, “He kept pushing the limits—taking himself to the edge until finally…there was just…no reasoning with him. At first it was easy to write off the things that he did when we were at war as the environment—as part of the sickness that surrounds you when you’re immersed in blood and death, but after a while—after living it for so long…”

“Logan?” Scott questioned reaching out to squeeze at his arm gently.

“You just never know how far a man is willing to go until he’s presented with an opportunity to take another life,” Logan confessed lowering his voice when the weight of his memory carried over him, “We’d done it for so long—in so many different places that this shouldn’t have been different…”

“But it was?” Scott deduced watching his lover nod poignantly.

“Victor’s thirst for destruction had intensified,” Logan explained, “He couldn’t get enough of it. With each new war, he found himself presented with a new challenge and a new way of pushing past the limit. He needed more and craved destruction in ways that neither one of us were prepared for. By the time we hit Vietnam there was no reasoning with him.”

“What happened?” Scott couldn’t help but questioned keeping them connected as Logan seemed to freeze up against his urgings, “Logan, I know that Victor’s been a point of contention for us in the past when we’ve touched upon the subject. I know you don’t like talking about being with him during the wars especially after your last run in with him, but…”

“I can’t speak for the other guy, but for me it isn’t so much that I don’t like talking about it Slim, but rather I’m ashamed of my actions during that time. Hell, I spent so many years wasted following him around—blindly serving an oath we swore to one another to be together supporting each other against the world, but in the end…I never had any real clue what kind of madness he was capable of until it was staring me in the face. Until I could no longer contain…” Logan stopped himself when his body tensed up with recall.

“What happened Logan?” Scott couldn’t help, but question.

“In Vietnam he finally snapped and lost control. There was so no reasoning with him when he finally went feral. With so much blood and carnage it changed him and…” Logan divulged quietly. His head hung low as his eyes pinched close seemingly lost in the memory of days gone by, “We were in this moment of down time from battle stationed in this place we never should’ve been. There was this girl…this very young girl in the village where we were posted that Victor went after to appease the bloodlust inside of him. He’d stopped thinking rationally and became a slave to sheer chaos and madness. Without warning he ripped her out of her home intent on violating her and…”

“Oh Logan,” Scott reached out to embrace him.

“I could see that the war was hard on him. I felt like he was slipping, but I had no idea just how far gone he was. I felt a change in him, but I swear that I didn’t know what he was doing…what he was thinking when it happened. I was with Norm and the rest of our platoon struggling to find some clarity in our down time, but then when I realized the girl was missing and he was nowhere to be found,” Logan clenched his fists at his side, speaking up behind gritted teeth, “I went after him intent on stopping him, to keep him from losing control before he hurt that girl, but then someone else in our platoon discovered him first.”

“Logan?” Scott watched as the color drained from Logan’s face.

“Victor murdered more than half our platoon in a bout of madness. Their blood is on my hands Slim because I wasn’t there to stop him before it got out of hand,” Logan continued shamefully, “I tried, but I wasn’t fast enough and then after…”

“Hey…”

“It was my fault. I knew that we weren’t supposed to be there. I could see that he was slipping, but I couldn’t reel him back in. Time and time again I tried to reason with him—to find some other purpose, but he was convinced that war was what we were made for. Fighting was all that we had and we would always come out on top of it as long as we had each other,” Logan’s words waivered in the memory that surrounded him, “I swore to myself that one day we’d walk away…that we would just find something else, but for him violence was all that he knew. He craved it more than anything and in Vietnam he embraced it readily.”

“And the girl?” Scott questioned wearily.

“I honestly don’t know,” Logan divulged angling his head to meet Scott’s questions head on, “Once he attacked our platoon, we were put under the firing squad. Things got out of hand and…”

“What?”

“It wasn’t long after that when Stryker recruited us,” Logan lowered his head guiltily, “At the time we saw it as a better option, but then…”

“Logan,” Scott’s voice softened when he reached out to touch the side of Logan’s face.

“I fucked up Slim. I made so many damned mistakes, but it wasn’t until I made my way out that I found freedom in my life. After I walked away from Stryker and the rest of that team…”

Logan took in a slow, calming breath, “I knew that I couldn’t keep going down that path with Victor. I couldn’t keep losing myself to his madness. He could never just quit while he was ahead. He was always too damn stubborn and blood thirsty.”

“I knew that it would be the death of me if I didn’t just walk away,” Logan blurted out seemingly caught up in a memory they’d never shared with one another before. The pain was evident in his features when Logan visibly shuddered attempting to shake the thought of Victor long enough to focus on the photograph of his team before him.

Turning Scott in his arms to point out the photo once again, Logan spoke up in a remorseful tone, “They were all so young when they got wrapped up in the war. Stupid shits all signed up for that, but they had no idea what they were getting into. Only Victor and I knew what could happen in being surrounded by that kind of carnage day in and day out. We were the only ones with experience with that kind of trauma. It was nothing, but death and violence in everything that followed with nothing beyond madness until…well, until I met Norm. He was different than the others.”

“How so?”

Logan sighed, “Norm wanted no part of it when he was drafted, but given his family history…well, he didn’t have much of a choice. His father was a decorated soldier high up the chain. Hell, his pop fought with Cap in the war actually.”

“Is that right?” Scott looked back over his shoulder to see the darkened expression on Logan’s face.

“Norm wasn’t a soldier when we first met. I mean he was, but he hadn’t really discovered what that meant. Back then Norm was struggling to survive, looking for a reason to keep pushing on—to not let the war take him under. He’d lived comfortably back home never been truly exposed to the elements until he was drafted…” Logan’s words trailed off, “Being surrounded by that much violence changes a man Slim.”

“And Norm?” Scott questioned.

“War makes a man see the world differently—takes who they are and changes them…making them something different in pulling you apart little by little until there’s…,” Logan explained further. He leaned forward resting his chin on Scott’s shoulder, “nothing left.”

“Battle can do that to a man,” Scott sighed feeling Logan’s arms surround him tighter than before.

“It steals your soul—changes you in ways that you don’t think you’ll ever experience until it’s crept up over you ripping away the last shred of your humanity,” Logan added exhaling somberly, “We all fell victim to it, but not Norm. He refused to allow that. He chose to keep believing in the good in the world. No matter how ugly it was, he refused to let war change him. He wanted to be a doctor before that shitstorm began, which made sense. He was good at that…with healing I mean…but after the war…”

“What?” Scott asked returning his focus to the image again seeing that of all the men Norm seemed to be also out of place appearing a bit less brazen than he had in the other photos. He seemed almost skittish as his rifle was one the ground angled against the tree trunk at his side, barely of any interest as he stood beside the crate that Logan was seated upon.

“So many things happened…so many people died for no good reason, and men were compromised,” Logan’s voice tapered off in recall, “Victor and I were there for the wrong reasons, but after he lost control…I needed time. I needed some distance from him before we moved forward on our path. I needed to clear my head and…”

“Norm provided you that opportunity?” Scott almost hated to question his lover’s experience.

“He was the bright spot in a dark hour for me Slim,” Logan sighed hugging Scott’s body up against his chest, “but even that in time faded out for him.”

“What do you mean?” Scott couldn’t help, but question quietly placing his hands over Logan’s arms encircling his abdomen.

“With all the death that surrounded us, I guess he got used to it,” Logan shrugged squeezing his arms around Scott’s torso tighter than before, “We all do after you fight for a while, but after that final battle…I don’t know…I guess he was in too deep to walk away from it all even though medicine was his passion.”

“You never said exactly what he did after the war—after you both came back and returned here,” Scott pointed out bringing his hands down over the tips of Logan’s fingers sliding up to gently massage the top of Logan’s palms touching the place where his claws often emerged from within. Despite the things that they still had to discuss, their positioning felt nice—almost comforting as Scott found himself wanting to hold on to the sensation of Logan’s arms around him, “Did he reenlist or…?”

“He tried to step back after I decided I was out, but eventually he gave in to it and let them recruit him all over again. His priorities changed and overnight it was as if he was one of their best until that point in time when,” Logan pointed to another image on the wall that Scott hadn’t paid attention to in his perusals. This one showed a slightly older, more distinguished version of Norm standing beside Howard Stark in a lab coat with a wide grin on his face, “Stark made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“You mean he and Tony’s father were…?” Scott found himself unable to mask his surprise.

“Colleagues,” Logan finished with a small nod, “I don’t know what Norm did for him exactly, but with the new opportunity he was opening doors to a new world where he was able to pursue both the life of a solider and his love of research. Science was his passion and…”

“He became an integral part of Stark Industries,” Scott noted taking in the intimacy between Norm and the elder Stark in the image before him.

“I don’t know if integral is the right word as in time I’d heard rumors of a nasty split between them, but I didn’t ask about it,” Logan shrugged as he squeezed Scott tighter than before, “Truth be told I really didn’t care about all of that because by the time that happened I’d gone in a new direction outside of our friendship. The science stuff was his thing and I wasn’t really a part of that world. Besides, I wasn’t really around for all of that anyway.”

“No?” Scott arched a curious brow.

“Nope,” Logan nuzzled his nose against Scott’s neck again, taking the time to breathe across Scott’s skin in their embrace.

“Hmmm…I don’t know how you could devote an entire year to being with him.”

“What do you mean?” Logan questioned pressing a lazy kiss over the side of Scott’s neck.

“From what you’ve explained Norm sounds like the kind of person someone like you would be bored with rather easily aside from the obvious with his good looks,” Scott quipped under his breath. When he realized that the words came out without any restraint he gasped and bit down on his plump bottom lip attempting to stifle his thoughts.

“He was alright,” Logan shrugged rubbing his chin into Scott’s shoulder.

“Just alright?” Scott repeated with a frown unable to refrain from tensing up in Logan’s arms, “He was very good-looking Logan. I’m sure that wasn’t lost on you in any of this…”

“Hmmm…I suppose he was fun to be around for a while,” Logan’s fingers curled over Scott’s hip, gently nudging Scott to turn around so that they were facing another again, “but not nearly as fun as you are.”

Instinctively Scott’s eyes were drawn to Logan’s mouth remembering the sweet, savory taste of Logan against him that sparked the hunger that burned inside of him for his lover. With each press of Logan’s palm against his skin, Scott felt the lust stirring inside of him, coiling over his body, and centering in over his abdomen. Warmth carried over him as Logan’s fingers stretched out to skim over the side of Scott’s perfectly sculpted jawline causing Scott’s body to jolt with desire, willing and ready to give in to temptation when Logan’s words resonated in the back of his mind causing him to smirk.

“No one’s ever accused me of being fun before,” Scott couldn’t help, but chuckle at his lover’s suggestion.

“Well, then no one else has ever taken the time to truly pay attention to the small details because I think you’re fun,” Logan dipped in to offer up a small, teasing kiss, “Very fun in fact.”

“That’s because you’ve enjoyed having sex with me,” Scott reminded him with a simple slide of his arms around Logan’s broad, muscular shoulders.

“I adore having sex with you,” Logan corrected with a wry grin.

“Mmm…the feeling is mutual,” Scott divulged inching in closer to Logan with each restless breath he took, “but now that we’ve agreed to stop having it…”

“We haven’t agreed to stop having it,” Logan clarified with a small nip upon Scott’s lower lip, “We merely have decided that we’ll have it when it feels right for the both of us.”

“It always feels right for the both of us,” Scott sighed pressing his palm over the center of Logan’s chest to feel his heart beating wildly beneath Scott’s touch, “but for what it’s worth I know what you mean.”

“This isn’t the end for us,” Logan promised leaning in to kiss him once again.

“I know,” Scott conceded taking a step back and turning his attention to the wall of Norm’s accomplishments once again. Quietly, he put together a mental montage of the man before him, evolving from a small boy to a decorated soldier and beyond with the world at his feet. The images, for the most part, reflected his professional climb to what appeared to be the top with him surrounded by world leaders and faces that Scott had read about as a child in history books.

It seemed that Logan’s good friend Norm was far more important to those in power than Logan had led on, but all of Scott’s hypotheses about the man before him that he was formulating were put to a halt when the final image positioned upon the bookshelf beside the wall of accomplishments revealed a much more candid look of their host. Within the dark frame, Scott discovered a relaxed image of Norm and Logan seated together on a checkered blanket with a picnic basket beside them. There was a body of water to the left of where they were in their positioning with Norm leaning back against Logan’s chest, simply stretched out between Logan’s thighs in an intimate embrace. In Logan’s right hand, he loosely held the neck of a beer bottle and his left arm was around Norm’s waist much like it had been over Scott’s a few moments earlier.

“When was this taken?” Scott questioned straining to keep his voice neutral while pointing to the framed photo. Jealousy spiked in his veins, making him feel things that he was certain he shouldn’t be feeling about the man he’d decided could pose a threat to their safety in this new place.

“What is it?” Logan inquired walking over to Scott before the mood shifted in the room between them, “Oh…that…”

“Yeah,” Scott bit back on his thoughts, attempting to ignore the nagging emotion that he knew full well could unravel his sensibility if he continued to linger over the reminder of Logan’s past. Silently he warned himself to look away but seeing the happiness in Logan’s eyes as he held the stranger before Scott, it made something inside of him uneasy.

“Slim,” Logan’s voice was calm, but there was something else there beneath the surface, “that was a long time ago. Norm and I…”

“I can’t judge what you shared,” Scott answered guiltily looking down to the wedding ring on his finger, “especially considering that I’m still Jean’s husband and…”

“None of that matters,” Logan pleaded pressing his hand upon Scott’s shoulder to coax him around and away from the photo, “That was a lifetime ago.”

“Everything is it seems,” Scott sighed finding himself lost in the eyes of the man he’d spent more than a decade of his life secretly longing for. It was the one defining trait that had kept him grounded in times of chaos, but even at that, there was still the reality of knowing that this man—this Logan hadn’t been one in the same as the one he’d surreptitiously coveted for all those years.

 _But that holds no relevance as they both loved Norm_ , another nagging voice in the back of Scott’s mind reminded him.

It served to shake his confidence especially in knowing that Norm had never come up in conversation with the other version of the man he’d fallen for. Granted, the Logan beside him had been nothing, but forthcoming in honesty about his history with the man who’d offered them shelter from Markus and his madness. He’d been honest with Scott in ways that Scott hadn’t been brave enough to do himself. That realization hit home hard when Scott lowered his head guiltily.

“You don’t owe me answers about your past,” Scott sighed knowing full well that his jealousy was out of line.

“We’re in a relationship now Scott,” Logan reached out to curl his fingers underneath Scott’s chin to coax Scott to look at him once again, “which means that you have every right to ask about who I am. You can ask anything you want, and I promise I’ll do my best to fill in the blanks.”

“That seems incredibly unfair,” Scott paused feeling a weight in the center of his chest, “to you I mean. I haven’t been entirely up front with you about things, yet here you are ready to offer me all of your secrets without question.”

“Well, maybe not all of them,” Logan teased with a playful wink, “There are some pretty unsexy things about me that you probably don’t want to know.”

“Trust me,” Scott laughed at Logan’s attempt at lightening the mood between them, “after all the time we’ve spent together through the years I probably already do know more than I should in terms of that.”

“Fine,” Logan stepped in closer to him, “If you know that and you still want me around, then I think it’s only fair to say that you should reciprocate.”

“What do you mean?” Scott inquired seeing the grin that teased over the corners of Logan’s lips.

“Tell me something that no one else knows about you,” Logan suggested dragging Scott across the linoleum floor and into his arms once again, “Tell me your deepest, darkest secret Slim.”

“I love the idea of riding your cock,” Scott’s face burned with the admission, finding himself on edge when Logan’s fingers pressed over his cheek.

“We both already knew that,” Logan wrinkled his nose before offering up a laugh. He leaned in to press a kiss over Scott’s forehead when his arms found their place at Scott’s hips, “and while I appreciate that we’re on the same page with that, let’s dig a bit deeper.”

“Deeper?” Scott repeated angling his head to catch the way that Logan was looking at him, seeking out a truth that Scott would share with him alone. It seemed that there were so many thoughts running through his head, so many silly stories that he could tell, but instead he settled in on something a bit more somber, “When I was in the orphanage one time I got locked in a supply closet by the older boys.”

“What?” Logan questioned with the beginnings of a scowl.

“They were angry with me for fighting back—for standing up for myself even though I was terrified of them. They were bullies, but that day…well, I decided that I’d had enough, and I stuck up for another one of the boys they chose to target. At the time I didn’t think about what I was doing. I just reacted and it felt good to see them finally back off. I felt like I had this surge of power run through me, but later that night…well, they decided it was a good time for payback,” Scott paused reflecting on the memory that he’d kept tucked away inside of his subconscious, “They ended up pulling me out of my bed in the middle of the night, throwing an empty pillowcase over my head and hauling me away from the room. I remember trying to break free—to yell for help, but the pillowcase muffled the sounds. I kept shouting hoping that someone on staff would realize what was happening, but instead I found myself helpless. There were too many of them around me so there I was unable to do anything but take their abuse. I remember their taunts and warnings for daring to defy them. I can still feel what it was like on the floor curled into a ball and experiencing the punches and kicks they delivered to my spine and abdomen. I remember being on the ground just laying still when they continued to beat on me for daring to question their authority.”

“Slim…” Logan’s face shifted with concern as Scott’s voice grew distant.

“Ultimately I stopped fighting back and calling for assistance when I realized help wasn’t coming. I tried to stay strong, but eventually I broke into tears, which only further fueled their rage. It kept on that way for at least twenty minutes or so, but it felt like an eternity with them holding me down and kicking me,” Scott continued remembering his troubled youth, “I remember thinking to myself that maybe it would be easier if they just finished me off—if somehow they would end me and I’d no longer be left suffering in the orphanage living without any sense of purpose in my life. It’s foolish I know, but when they were attacking me all I could think about was what it would be like to no longer have to face that fear—to be the boy that no one wanted that they chose to target. All I wanted was peace and I didn’t care how it came to me.”

Scott stopped himself fighting to contain the emotion that carried over him when the weight of the memory spiraled out over his body, “I remember wishing like hell that it would just be over—that I could just fall from this world and disappear.”

Angling his head down, Scott recalled his painful youth, “The pain they inflicted became secondary to the torture I’d put myself through in thinking I was worthless and undeserving of happiness in my life. Through the years I watched other kids who seemed less eager than I was finding a home away from the orphanage—securing their place with families who thought they were special enough to adopt, but not me. I was just there…broken and worthless simply imprisoned by my own inability to prove myself worthy of love. Those boys had targeted me because they knew that I was a freak—I was so weak, but when I fought back…they decided that they would teach me a lesson about my place. They kept beating on me after I stopped crying. Then when I stopped reacting…when it was over…that’s when I was locked in that closet. They thought it would frighten me, but in the darkness…I found myself thinking about whether it would make a difference in the world if I wouldn’t make it through the night. I hurt so bad that I assumed that I would just die, but when I didn’t…”

“Hey…” Logan reached out to touch the side of Scott’s face hoping to pull him from the bad memory to the present surrounded by the man who’d cared about him more than he’d ever truly cared about himself.

“I found peace Logan. In the height of my pain and suffering, I’d found a sense of clarity that I hadn’t anticipated when they were finished with me. In that closet I imagined that I was somewhere else living a different life far away from the nightmare that surrounded me. In my mind I found something else—a place where I couldn’t be harmed by them anymore,” Scott raised his chin up to reveal the single tear that slipped past his cheek, “Alone and broken in that closet it was the first time that I could remember feeling free. I wasn’t bound by the limitations of my broken body.”

“Scott, I had no idea that…” Logan’s words fell from his lips at a sense of loss weighing out his lover’s internal torment as Scott continued.

“In that darkened space, I found clarity and reason in ways I never anticipated when they threw me in there. That was the night that I finally decided I could no longer stay there enduring the madness of the orphanage. Even if the world didn’t want me, I couldn’t lose myself to the abuse. It took that night spent locked in the closet for me to promise myself I would break free. I knew then that I refused to allow that life to be the end of me.”

“Scott…” Logan softened his tone. His thumb skimmed over Scott’s cheekbone stealing the tear that slipped down Scott’s handsome features with his admission.

“So, there you go,” Scott choked up on his memory, “Now you know something no one else knows about me Logan. Now you know my secret of how I learned that it was easier to lock down reality in the dark imagining another world away from my nightmare rather than lose myself to emotion in facing it head on.”

“I don’t think that’s what you did,” Logan began stroking the side of Scott’s face.

“That night I learned to shut off the terror and the fear, to push down the pain and the emptiness in favor of giving in to being self-disciplined. I vowed to never be the victim again so I created a place to bury my fear and the misplaced tears long enough to lock it all away,” Scott spoke up in a quiet, broken tone, “It wasn’t the only thing that set me on this path, but it was the memory of that time in silence and solitude in that closet that prepared me to face whatever hurdle life flung at me. No matter what the world tossed at me, I vowed to keep it inside that safe space buried so deep that it wouldn’t break me in here…”

Scott paused dramatically pointing to his head, “I learned to shut it out—to keep my emotions contained and under control. I stopped myself from crying, from feeling the things that most children did. I kept my head down and worked harder to put up a wall—an impenetrable wall that I learned in that closet would keep me safe from the rest of the world. For so long I refused to let anyone inside because it was easier that way. If I kept it under lock and key, then I was no longer vulnerable to weakness. It gave me my own special strength.”

Scott hesitated before the words rolled from his tongue, “Jean was the only person that came close to finding her way inside, but even then, I made sure to keep her at arm’s length. I couldn’t allow her to delve past the surface to see to the heart of me… She couldn’t know all that there was in here because to allow her access to that part of me—to that broken, scared little boy crying out for something more would only cause it to crumble around me. The walls I worked so hard to build would close in on me and there would be nothing left of my control. It would be like being back in that orphanage again helpless and without a way to escape.”

“Scott…” Logan lamented over on Scott’s words, pulling Scott into a tight embrace as Scott’s choked sobs broke through his resolve turning their simple bout of truth telling into something deeper in their exchange.

“For so long I tried to fight it, but then when Jean was vanishing—when our baby died,” Scott held Logan tighter than before finding himself overtaken with emotions he hadn’t been prepared to face, “I knew that I didn’t have a choice. I’d always known that I couldn’t keep everyone out forever, but it wasn’t how I anticipated letting go. For so long I’d held onto my grip so tight that I’d convinced myself the walls were impermeable, but when that thing was tearing Jean apart, I knew that something had to happen. I had to find a way to make things right for everyone, so I made a choice. To save Jean, I sacrificed myself and invited it inside to attempt to rip and tear away at the walls I fought like hell to build and maintain around me. I was naively convinced that I’d built up an impenetrable strength—that somehow, I was invulnerable and that I could contain it, but now with what’s happening with Markus and with us…I don’t know if I’m strong enough. My control is slipping and…”

“Slim?” Logan questioned as Scott pulled back finding himself haunted by the memory of his nightmare when he forced himself to face Logan head on.

“Logan, I’m not right. I’m not even remotely close to right because in order to save Jean, I made a sacrifice that the other you asked me not to,” Scott swallowed down hard knowing full well that being surrounded by the memory of Logan’s past hadn’t been the right place to share his truths with his new lover. However, overtaken with the things that he’d been forced to feel, he found himself revealing his most troubling secret to his new lover, “I became the host to the Phoenix. It’s inside of me as we speak and as much as I want to say I can contain it…I’m starting to fear that I’m unable to maintain control. So, there it is Logan. My deepest, darkest secret laid out before you open and exposed at long last.”

Moving even further from Logan, Scott braced himself for his lover’s reaction knowing full well in his nightmare that it had been the key to driving them apart once and for all. It was the very thing that had broken the bond between them—that severed any inkling of trust between them, but in all of Scott’s concerns, the one thing that he hadn’t been prepared for was Logan’s arms embracing Scott in against Logan’s chest in a suffocating squeeze, holding Scott as if everything else ceased to exist beyond their connection to one another.

“I know,” Logan whispered against Scott’s ear. His words came out shaky at best, but the warmth of the sound filled Scott’s unsteady body with a sense of comfort and ease as Logan’s gripping fingers pressed deeper into his trembling form, “I already know.”


	29. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Scott's painful declaration, Scott and Logan discuss what happened in Canada and the truth about the power Scott hosts.

**Revelation:** a surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way.

“You knew?” Scott questioned pulling away from Logan’s embrace as if the thought of his lover’s confession had been enough to jolt Scott back to reality—to take them to the awareness that they were standing together in Norm’s renovated panic room caught up in an emotional admission that Scott hadn’t planned on blurting out to his new lover. However, in seeing the lack of shock and surprise in Logan’s features, Scott found himself at a loss, “But how…?”

“Call it a guess,” Logan shrugged his shoulders when Scott turned away in an attempt to pull himself together again, “Instinct perhaps.”

“But…” Scott stammered struggling to find the words.

“I suspected something was different with you after I arrived at the warehouse,” Logan shifted on his feet, twisting on his heel just enough to nervously rock back and forth. He brought one hand up through the edge of his unruly hair, rubbing at it nervously before he spoke up again in a calm, patient tone, “I felt something was off when I stepped inside and discovered those bodies in Markus’ compound Slim. There was so much blood and…”

“Logan I…I didn’t do that,” Scott shook his head firmly, his words shaky as he faced Logan with a somber expression.

Looking at Scott, Logan’s thoughts returned to his dreams, to the nightmare visions of his lover chained and tortured, held up to madness when their world was about to end. Granted, Logan hadn’t been there the first time to witness it, but with his lover’s earlier confession it brought back the fractured pieces of his memory. In Logan’s arms Scott revealed the one thing that Logan had been too ignorant to acknowledge after his hopes for a future took precedence above all else. Now, the truth was hanging in the air between them, serving as a source to help fill in the blanks to all the hidden things that they’d kept from one another

“Slim, I understand that once the Phoenix gets it hold on its host that what follows isn’t something that you’re responsible for. I witnessed it firsthand in my world with Jean that it overrules its host and…” Logan began again with a somber expression on his face.

“No, Logan I…” Scott began with a crease in his brow.

“I should’ve picked up on it sooner, but I spent too much time caught up in my own struggle with the truth between us that I wasn’t able to fully recognize you were crying out for help,” Logan cursed under his breath, “I was so afraid you’d turn me away in knowing the truth that I couldn’t see you standing there reaching out to me to stay grounded.”

“Logan, I swear that…” Scott attempted to speak up.

“I knew what it could do. I watched Jean vaporize men around me turning them to dust in the height of her madness and with what happened at the warehouse,” Logan hesitated struggling to find the right words inside of him, “I know it wasn’t the same thing, but…”

“It wasn’t me Logan. I wasn’t responsible for what you witnessed that night before our run in with Hagan,” Scott swore desperately.

“Of course, you weren’t. I don’t blame you for any of it Slim. Knowing that the Phoenix is inside of you…” Logan began taking a tentative step towards Scott. He witnessed Scott shaking, his thoughts clearly caught up in the words that he’d revealed to Logan in their closed environment.

“No, Logan. I’m telling you that it wasn’t the Phoenix either,” Scott clarified behind gritted teeth. His lower lip trembled as he wrapped his arms around his body as if to fend off the ache inside of him, “When ordered Clint to leave, I continued on the mission knowing that Markus was watching. He was trying to bait me, but I had no idea what he was planning. When I walked through that area, it was already there waiting for me. By the time I made my way to the atrium they were already dead and…”

“But Slim I saw the carnage. It was fresh when I stepped inside. I was there when you were about to be attacked in the atrium. You were covered in blood and…” Logan blinked back at him incredulously.

“It wasn’t me. I swear to you with all that I am that I didn’t do that Logan,” Scott promised curling his fingers around his slender frame as if to fend off his damning thoughts, “I knew full well that I couldn’t afford to lose control like that in front of Markus. He was waiting in anticipation for me to reveal myself from the moment we showed up at that warehouse. He was practically daring me to lose control, but I refused. Even with the games he was playing with me—hoping to force my hand and pull out the madness, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing the power that’s inside of me.”

“But back in Canada…” Logan began with a crease in his brow, “When we were taken by Abaddon, I remember you were…”

“That’s the only time since I’ve taken this on that I lost control,” Scott revealed guiltily unable to meet Logan’s questioning eyes. His chin angled down. His arms hugged tighter around his own abdomen almost as if Scott was trying to push the guilt associated with his confession deep down again when the words spilled from his quivering lips, “and it’s the one time that it almost cost me everything.”

“Slim?” Logan questioned observing the struggle taking place inside of his lover.

“When you…he…called me from Canada and told me the trouble they were in, I knew that I had to do something,” Scott admitted in a small, cracked tone, “I acknowledged there would be a risk involved, but when Abaddon took you and Clint hostages like she did—after the things that she did to you…I couldn’t stand back and allow it to destroy you.”

“Which is why you swooped in to save us,” Logan tentative tone held knowledge through his dreams. He felt the lingering remnants upon him of the nightmare that had stolen his peace, scribbling on the once blank slate to reveal the hidden tortures his counterpart had endured. Blinking a couple of times, Logan was surrounded by the memory observing as Scott seemed to be contained within the dream Logan wished like hell he could forget.

Scott nodded, raising his chin up just enough to glance over at Logan before sighing, “Jean warned me that I wasn’t ready—that I wasn’t going to be able to contain it, but I couldn’t lose the other you. I refused to let him go under for this mission that never should’ve played out like it did. Jean cautioned that Abaddon was far too powerful, but…”

“You came for me regardless,” Logan approached Scott once again. He took a small step forward unable to ignore the way that Scott was shaking when the memory overtook him, “You fought like hell to get to us and…”

“…I almost failed,” Scott looked around the computer room once again to avoid Logan’s questioning eyes, “I’d read the file on Abaddon. I was aware of her powers—of what she’d done to others before you took that mission. Perhaps it was arrogance on my part or ignorance, but after brushing up on her file I didn’t think she was going to be a problem. I didn’t believe that she could be as evil as she was, but…”

“She was a monster Slim,” Logan pointed out with a frown, “The things that she did to all of us…”

“You remember what happened there?” Scott swallowed down a hard gasp.

“Bits and pieces of it,” Logan nodded poignantly, “but I’m still trying to fill in the blanks. Why the hell was I on that mission in the first place?”

“Natasha talked you and Clint into taking part of it,” Scott replied behind gritted teeth. He released his abdomen instead rubbing his palms over his outer thighs nervously in his explanation, “For some reason or another the agency felt like it was best to keep that situation in house and…”

“They hung us out to dry,” Logan finished somberly, “They left us there to die…”

“But you knew I wouldn’t let that happen,” Scott reminded him with a grimace overtaking his handsome features, “When you reached out to me, Abaddon hadn’t known that your cover was an act. She hadn’t seen that you were an outsider, but you sensed something was off. With the things she was doing—the things that they were planning, you knew it was only a matter of time before something awful happened. You knew she needed to be stopped, which is why you called me.”

“But before that…” Logan half questioned watching Scott shift on his feet.

“You didn’t trust the agency to have your back,” Scott tilted his head to look at Logan again, “Something about the whole situation felt off and when you found yourself met with your first red flag…”

“I ran to you,” Logan finished watching Scott nod.

“Despite our differences we’ve always had each other’s backs,” Scott continued to explain, “You knew that if push came to shove that I would be there for you. You were terrified when you called me Logan. I’d never seen you that afraid before. I’d never heard such desperation.”

“Which is why you didn’t hesitate to react,” Logan noted.

Scott nodded again, “The things that Abaddon wanted to do to watch the world around her burn to the ground were beyond reprehensible.”

“I don’t remember that part leading up to that Slim,” Logan divulged quietly knowing that the rest of the nightmare was still trapped inside of his head, “There’s a lot about that mission that was lost on me until that point in time where I saw her followers pulling you out of the well. You were badly beaten and strung up on that chain, but beyond that I can’t remember anything leading up to that. The memory is evading me.”

“And as horrible as it sounds, a part of me hopes you never find it Logan,” Scott answered somberly, “because by the time I got there it was worse than I’d anticipated. The things that you’d explained to me in our brief conversation didn’t cover the height of her madness. I didn’t know what the hell I was walking into, but once I got close—once I saw the things that she and her crew were doing, I knew that I had to put an end to it.”

“Slim…” Logan watched Scott turn around to stare blankly at the wall of images again.

“I tried to call for backup, to get others out there, but I knew that there wasn’t enough time. None of them would make it fast enough for you and certainly not for Clint. He was in bad shape by the time I found my way to the compound. I had to make a choice,” Scott continued to recount the nightmare he’d willingly stepped into at the other Logan’s urging, “I realized that it was a gamble, but knowing that you were caught up in that I still had to try. I had to find a way to pull you out of it no matter what the cost and…”

“…you sacrificed yourself to Abaddon,” Logan finished watching Scott nod somberly.

“She craved power so to lure the monster before me, I enticed her with the monster that I am,” Scott raised his chin up defiantly as if the memory in itself served up as a key to his earlier confession, “In her arrogance Abaddon thirsted for power. She ate up the notion of digging her claws into the world around her and destroying it by any means necessary. When she realized what I was capable of—what I harbored inside of me, she longed for the power. She demanded that I turn it over to her, but when I’d merely offered to loan it to her as a bargaining tool for your release, she’d refused. She had her men attack and blindside me before she attempted to cage me…”

Scott’s words trailed off before he expelled a low, uneasy breath, “After she thought she’d subdued me, she laughed in my face simply calling my promise of power a farce. She taunted me saying she was playing along with my games long enough to capture me. She thought she’d won, but really she refused to see what was here inside of me…”

Scott’s words trailed off as he raised one hand up over the center of his chest, “With my entrapment Abaddon believed that she’d somehow called my bluff and, in her refusal to release you, I was left without a choice. For nearly three days she tried everything she could think of to break me—to bend me to her will to find my weakness, but in all her probing into my mind, she could never effectively tear down the walls I’d spent years building. She came close to working her way inside, but I refused to allow it. I deceived her into believing that she was making her way inside, but I was merely biding my time until the others were close enough to extract us. Once I felt their presence only then did I give in to the temptation.”

“You mean the Phoenix?” Logan clarified taking another tentative step towards Scott.

Scott dipped his head solemnly, “I knew that the only way out of Abaddon’s madness was to…”

“Give in to the fire and destroy the world that Abaddon created with her sadistic followers,” Logan understood thinking about the nightmare that had haunted him back in the hospital.

“I tried to fight against it,” Scott admitted remorsefully when the memory hit him harder than he’d anticipated, “I tried to refrain from unleashing its full power when I allowed it a moment of reprieve, but when it escaped and discovered that there was so much pain and suffering…”

“Slim?”

“It had its own thirst Logan,” Scott continued in a neutral, distanced tone, “It knew what it wanted after being trapped inside of me for so very long. Once it discovered what Abaddon did to you and Clint it fed on my rage and…”

“Scott, whatever happened, we both know that you didn’t have a choice,” Logan grasped for Scott again despite the shudder that carried over him. He gripped at Scott’s shoulders coaxing Scott to look at him only to have Scott pull away from him, “I remember you in that well—battered and bruised and…”

“In the dark,” Scott sighed when Logan placed a hand on Scott’s shoulder again only to have Scott take a step back and shake his head dismissively, “Abaddon tried to break me. She forced herself into my mind attempting to tear down my defenses, but her methods triggered something else. She really believed that throwing me down there like she did after the torture would break me, but it saved us. It freed my mind long enough to invite the Phoenix to come out from within. It allowed me to enter that safe space and give the Phoenix permission to lose control—to end the pain once and for all and…”

“You saved us,” Logan replied stepping back to take a seat on the edge of Norm’s computer desk, “You kept us from dying there Slim.”

“But at a cost,” Scott cautioned rubbing his hands up and down over his arms, “I killed so many people under the Phoenix control Logan. More than half of Abaddon’s followers never made it out of that compound. When the Phoenix obtained full control, they weren’t given a fighting chance. She turned them to dust without hesitation and I couldn’t prevent it from happening. I was on the outside looking in when the Phoenix took over…”

“Slim,” Logan reached for him once again this time catching Scott’s elbow with his fingers, “talk to me.”

“In order to free you, I just shut down retreating to that place inside my head. I withdrew into the comfort of that secret place and let the Phoenix take control,” Scott divulged remembering the burden he still carried with him, “I allowed it the freedom to be what it wanted to be. Unleashed it was able to do deliver its true purpose and Abaddon’s misguided followers paid the price.”

“They were terrible people Slim,” Logan noted remembering the horrors he’d endured in his dreams.

“Misled by a false messiah that perverted their fears and directed them to madness,” Scott explained in frustration, “The Phoenix didn’t care about their reason or purpose. It didn’t give a damn if they were good or evil. It simply craved destruction and that’s what I made permissible. They all tasted the wrath when they were engulfed in the flames of its purification. Even Abaddon herself was met by sheer madness in its wake. The Phoenix reached inside of her mind and stripped her down to the core reducing her to mental capabilities to less than a child without her powers and barely cohesive in its rage. It wanted Abaddon to suffer—to feel the pain she’d inflicted upon so many others, but…beyond that she wanted to burn it all down to the ground.”

“But Slim…” Logan began tilting his head to watch his lover caught up in his own dark confession.

“I would’ve destroyed everything if it wasn’t for you Logan,” Scott whispered quietly, “If you…he…hadn’t stopped me, then there was no telling what I could’ve done. I’d effectively allowed the Phoenix to neutralize Abaddon’s mind, but when that wasn’t enough…”

“He stepped in,” Logan finished thinking about his counterpart’s rage and animosity in his dreams, “He found a way to stop you…”

“He brought me back down, but by the time he intervened,” Scott’s voice cracked with emotion, “It was practically too late. I barely made it through the experience after it happened. So many people died because I’d made the decision to allow the Phoenix its freedom and…”

“You saved us Slim. That’s all that matters. Those people, for the most part, were never allowed to harm anyone again. Clint said that Abaddon was in prison—forever locked away,” Logan thought about his long conversation with his friend.

“No cage could ever truly contain her aside from the one that was pressed upon her that day the Phoenix sprung free. After that…Abaddon was trapped inside of her mind in a maximum-security hospital far from humanity—in a place where she could never touch a living soul again. With the assault the Phoenix made upon her mind, she’d been reduced to a mere shell of the woman she’d once been, but we feared that wasn’t enough. If she was alive in that cage the Phoenix created there was a possibility that one day Abaddon could reemerge. The odds were slim though and we took a chance. Charles was convinced even if she could escape the walls of the prison around her mind, there would be no escaping. He believed that her mind would never break free of the prison the Phoenix had upon her, but then recently something changed.”

“What do you mean?” Logan questioned.

“When you were in the hospital Maria tried to convince me that Abaddon died, but everything inside of me is convinced that’s not possible,” Scott continued to recount his time during Logan’s coma, “After the Phoenix attack on her at the compound, I’ve been aware of her life force. It’s as if a part of her was still inside of me connected deep within after the Phoenix swallowed Abaddon in its rage. For weeks after I lost control, Abaddon haunted my nightmares. I could see the things she’d done to others in her wake before the Phoenix stopped her. All her memories and actions from the time experiencing the rush of her first kill with Hagan until she’d met her demise…”

“Scott,” Logan spoke up watching Scott bite down harder on his bottom lip.

“I see things in my nightmares that at first I was convinced was the Phoenix, but they are remnants of Abaddon and her actions. It’s as if the Phoenix collected a part of Abaddon as a trophy—as a prize to revel in her destruction, but in doing so I’ve been aware of her presence in the world. I’ve felt this piece of her mind buried deep inside of mine that’s been dormant in her broken state, but when you were in the hospital something changed. Somehow, she found a way to reach out and work her way deeper inside of my head like she did at the compound before I let the Phoenix take control. Like a beacon entrenched from deep within, she invaded my mind and…”

“How can she do that when you said she was essentially a vegetable after the attack?”

“I don’t know,” Scott answered honestly, “but somehow she and Markus found a way to get inside and…”

“And what?” Logan questioned worriedly.

“She’s growing stronger and I can feel them chipping away at my control. The piece of her that the Phoenix collected is like poison running through my veins, twisting and turning my mind in an attempt to seek out my secrets,” Scott revealed fighting to ignore the pulsating throb that carried over him in his confession, “Together they’re trying to unlock the doors that I’ve kept hidden, but because of my defenses they’ve only gotten so far. They’re looking for something.”

“What?” Logan asked.

“I don’t know, but after the assault at the hospital I realize that together they are fighting to destroy the walls that I’ve built around me and if they succeed in doing so,” Scott bit down on his lower lip nervously, “then they will be able to take away my control. They’ll be able to access the Phoenix and unleash its madness upon the world around us.”

“But how?” Logan asked tentatively, “How could they manage that if you say Abaddon has been stripped of her powers?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet. I question if Markus found a way to reach her inside of her mind—if somehow, he’s been able to recreate the process that created him and coaxed her into becoming what he is. If he’s managed to replicate the process he used to cheat death, then he could transform her into everything she ever longed for before her demise,” Scott answered honestly when a chill crept up and over his spine, “which is why I need time to regroup…to see things with clear eyes. Fury convinced Maria that Abaddon is really dead, but I have a hard time believing that especially knowing what Markus is capable of.”

“Why would Fury have reason to lie if a part of Abaddon is still out there?” Logan tossed back at him.

“I don’t know,” Scott shrugged contemplating Logan’s words, “that’s the part I’ve been struggling with. Maybe he doesn’t know about what Markus is capable of…”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. has been keeping a watch on him for a while,” Logan pointed out, “They wouldn’t just blindly get into bed with someone to speak without knowing what they are capable of…”

“I’m aware of that, but at the same time,” Scott hesitated to allow the thoughts to run through his mind, “there have been rumors for a while about spies on the inside and…”

“You don’t think Fury is working as a double agent,” Logan paused, “do you?”

“No,” Scott answered without question, “He’s a lot of things, but his loyalty to Maria goes without question. He knows how important Clint is to her and from what I’ve seen, he’s supported them. He seems protective of the two of them and Abaddon would undoubtedly post a threat to Clint’s future…”

“Which means we’re back to the beginning in figuring out why Fury would say she was dead,” Logan deduced with a frown, “If she’s still in that hospital…”

“…then there’s no way we could get to her even if we tried especially now,” Scott finished for him, “Granted if Markus was successful in replicating the process of ‘evolution’ as he puts it, then Abaddon’s body would serve no purpose in their plans. It would be an empty shell devoid of life and…”

“…yet someone would have to find their way inside to reach her to make that happen, would they not?” Logan countered.

“That is the question,” Scott agreed shifting on his feet again, “which leads us back to square one. Say that there is someone on the inside working for Markus, then how would they find their way in past security? How could it not raise a flag in someone?”

“If someone worked to dismiss any potential flags…” Logan tossed back at him.

“Someone with power and a vested interest in whatever it is that Markus is planning could find a way,” Scott contemplated. He tapped his fingers over the top of the computer table beside him when his mind began to formulate ideas, “Someone in that position would have to be essentially untraceable, who could move around without question and…”

“It would be damn near impossible,” Logan offered up.

“Not entirely,” Scott countered, “Just because it would be difficult, doesn’t mean that someone couldn’t do it.”

“No, I suppose not, but even if they could if Fury had any idea of that, then why not prepare Maria for the possibility that some pissed off demon chick is gunning for her boyfriend and…?”

“I don’t know,” Scott frowned scratching his chin in contemplation, “Perhaps he said it to make Maria feel confident that Clint is safe and untouchable after what went down at the warehouse. Hill knows very little about what happened in Abaddon’s compound. With Hagan’s death, there’s a concern that word could find itself to Abaddon even in her weakened condition. Should she have any idea that he’s gone…”

“It could be the key to bringing her back,” Logan mused thinking about the man who’d damn near killed him at the warehouse. “He was special to her.”

“He was her soulmate,” Scott replied with an ironic laugh, “bound together by blood and madness until the end. Together they took the world around them to hell in the name of their great love.”

“But I distinctly remember her obsession with Clint,” Logan almost questioned remembering the bits and pieces that had been served up in his memory.

“Clint was new and different,” Scott answered in an attempt to fill in the blanks of Logan’s mind, “He presented the challenge of a new conquest for Abaddon in terms of a potential sexual partner…”

“You mean Clint was…” Logan wrinkled his nose and shuddered at the thought, “He actually…with that monster?”

“He was in deep cover Logan and Abaddon’s interest in him made him the perfect candidate for the job,” Scott explained in a neutral, distanced tone, “From what I read in the reports prior to your request for help, Clint fit the profile of her preferred concubine down to the letter. She and Hagan were notorious in the practice of collecting men and women that they’d taken a special interest in.”

“Sexually?” Logan shuddered at the thought.

“Among other things,” Scott added quietly, “Together they would entice their victims, bring them in to the community to induct them and readily welcome them into their tribe so to speak. With each new recruit they demanded compliance and total loyalty. If that goal was not accomplished, then they were met with the price of death when they proved to be too defiant or Hagan’s jealousy deemed them unworthy.”

“So, you’re saying that the two of them were essentially sadistic killers looking to control the world around them,” Logan weighed in on Scott’s words, “That they got some kind of sick thrill over what they were doing to people they picked up along the way?”

“It was part of the game for them to reel in unsuspecting, naïve men and women looking for an escape from the mundane in the world around them. The picked up on jaded potential lovers who were ready to act against the oppressive government,” Scott continued to relay to Logan, “and before Clint caught their eye Natasha was their intended mark. She was the one the agency set up for the undercover position, but at the last second Clint stepped in. He found his way to Abaddon before Hagan could move in on Natasha.”

“So, you’re saying that…” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

“Clint offered himself to the devil so that Natasha would be able to escape their madness,” Scott swallowed down hard, “The last woman that Abaddon and Hagan recruited before Natasha was prepared to move in was a highly decorated ex-Marine who’d been dishonorably discharged. She had one hell of a record and knew how to handle herself. By the time the authorities discovered her mutilated body there wasn’t much left to identify. The things that they did to that woman together in the name of achieving enlightenment…”

“Clint saw that, did what he always does and tried to protect Nat,” Logan realized taking in his lover’s words, “He’d never let her endure that kind of torture. He knew that even in her training it was too much, and he couldn’t bring himself to see her go through that knowing that she might not make it through.”

“Whatever his motivation was, Clint made the decision to appeal to them instead,” Scott continued in a neutral, distanced tone, “The moment Abaddon spotted him, she had to have him. Hagan wasn’t so convinced, but Clint charmed Abaddon and there was no turning back. It was the first crack in the foundation that she and Hagan had built through the years together because for Abaddon…she believed herself to be in love with Clint.”

“How do you know that?” Logan couldn’t help but ask uneasily.

“Because I’ve seen it in here,” Scott pointed to his head again with a grimace, “The Phoenix stole her memories of Clint and shared them with me down to the last detail. I’m constantly plagued by them—keeping them stored deep in my subconscious, but every now and then they slip into my dreams. I witness the things that she did to him as if they are playing out before me. I can feel her passion for him and how his betrayal stung harder than any of the others because to her he was special…”

“That’s why she was so angry with him,” Logan thought back to his nightmare, “because he’d manipulated her.”

“She would’ve believed in his lies until the end of time if Hagan wouldn’t have been so envious of her feelings for Clint. Hagan’s jealousy guided so many of his actions. He’d used it as a tool to keep others at bay, far from Abaddon’s heart, but Clint found a way inside. He enticed and challenged her in ways that no other had before him. Hagan despised him for that. He’d gone to Abaddon to dissuade her affections for Clint, but she’d refused. He was her everything, which only served to enrage Hagan.”

“Which led to trouble,” Logan added with a scowl, “Hagan was seeking out a way to take Clint down, wasn’t he?”

“He and a group of the others had been going behind Abaddon’s back to find any discrepancies in Clint’s cover. He’d put together a band of his most trusted followers and…” Scott fell to silence in his recollection.

“What?” Logan watched Scott look across the room at the computer chair once again.

“He had you on his team,” Scott revealed quietly, “Once you became a part of their group, Hagan trusted you implicitly. You were…special to him…”

“Special how?” Logan questioned feeling an uneasiness overtake him.

“I didn’t ask, but it is my understanding that you were his right hand man during your time undercover,” Scott divulged with a scowl as Logan’s memory of the monster who’d damn near killed him filled his mind, “As suspicious as he was of Clint, he’d confided in you, which proved to slow down his attempts to discredit Clint. Each step Hagan came towards obtaining that information, you found a way to keep it just out of his reach until one night…they were able to get their hands on damning information that had led to Clint being outed, but…”

“What?” Logan asked.

“Right before Hagan outed him…” Scott stopped himself when a shudder carried over him.

“The other me sacrificed himself to save Clint,” Logan finished noticing the way that Scott refused to look at him, “Because Clint’s cover had been blown, he felt he had no choice, right?”

“It was one of the worst decisions he ever made,” Scott forced himself to look at Logan again, “but he saved Clint’s life. If I would’ve been in his shoes, I would’ve done the same. What he did was meant to make things better, but…”

“Clint had to go and give himself up instead of escaping to attempt to save the other me,” Logan realized thinking about the memory that had haunted him, “We both were in a no-win situation and…”

“I did the unthinkable to get you out of it,” Scott finished poignantly, “and if it came to that I would do it again no questions asked. Even knowing the cost…”

“We won’t let things escalate to that point,” Logan decided feeling his heart racing in his chest, “We won’t allow Markus or Abaddon find a way to get inside and…”

“We can’t keep them out forever especially here,” Scott motioned to the room around them, “If they have a way to work their way inside…”

“They won’t,” Logan argued with a scowl, “I know that you have your doubts, but…”

“If Fury is telling Maria that Abaddon is dead, it only further confirms my fears that this is far from being over,” Scott added with a sigh, “Even if Maria believes that Clint isn’t in harm’s way…”

“We both know she isn’t buying into that,” Logan reminded him with a shake of his head, “Maria’s more skeptical than the both of us put together. Even if she trusts Fury after everything that’s happened, she’s not going to let this go.”

“No, but at the same time…” Scott swallowed down on his uneasiness, “Maria’s been anything, but straight with me from the start. She reveals only so much as she needs to while…”

“…holding back on everything else that is important,” Logan finished knowingly, “That’s a problem Clint seems to face with her.”

“Clint’s a good man Logan, but the way that Abaddon broke him,” Scott hesitated before rotating towards Logan once again, “With the way that he’s had his mind readily invaded…”

“You think Abaddon’s potential grip on him poses a greater threat to the one he’s made upon himself?” Logan half questioned.

“Turning his family away is undoubtedly a coping mechanism, but you weren’t there Logan. You didn’t see what I have,” Scott paused considering his words, “Physically you were, but you didn’t see the way that Abaddon took control of him. The way she made him her puppet—with the things she did to him once she feared she was no longer able to control him…”

“Is he in danger Slim?”

“No more than the rest of us,” Scott answered with a crease in his brow, “but I would hesitate to simply allow him to go back to his old life until this is over especially now that Abaddon is an unknown variable once again.”

“That’s not very comforting,” Logan muttered under his breath.

“The truth seldom is,” Scott sighed.

“Yeah okay, so I get that now we have both Markus and Abaddon to worry about,” Logan decided after a long silence carried over the both of them, “but even at that I still don’t understand how all of this transpired.”

“I told you that the mission was a hard one Logan. I don’t expect you to understand the dynamics of everything that took place in Canada because you weren’t the one there for it, but…”

“I’m not talking about Canada,” Logan shook his head dismissively, “I’m talking about you and the Phoenix. Explain that one to me. How did you end up housing that thing? That’s the part I can’t figure out. In my world it was paired with Jeanie—so deep in her system that there was no means of breaking the connection.”

“Tony Stark inadvertently found a loophole to pave the way for the possibility,” Scott answered quietly when another ripple of sensation carried over him, “He was working with alien technology that he claimed he was able to use to weaken and manipulate its hold on Jean. When he approached the other you with the idea, the process was meant to eradicate it from her life—to rip it away from her, but something went wrong. Instead of healing her, it only fed on her harder than before. It kept eating away until she was almost completely gone—so much so that…”

“You volunteered to take it on yourself in its weakened state,” Logan realized when Scott bowed his head down.

“We were able to pinpoint a means of making it happen and I went for it. There wasn’t any time to weigh out the potential cost,” Scott further explained, “Jean was going to die.”

“So, you stepped up to save her,” Logan noted watching Scott nod solemnly.

“There was no other choice.”

“Slim…”

“For so long it’s been dormant. I’ve been able to keep it under control, but then after Canada it feels like I’m surrounded by its hunger,” Scott paused feeling the weight of his confession all around them, “In giving in, I lost my grip. My control waned after Abaddon’s attack and because of that chaos followed.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“Logan, so many lives were lost and regardless of what kind of people they were that will always be on me,” Scott argued with remorse in his tone. Slumping his shoulders, he leaned back as the memory carried over him, “The other you knew that…he saw what kind of carnage I was capable of and…”

“He was afraid,” Logan realized remembering the nightmare that haunted him.

“Terrified was an understatement, but he still tried to save me,” Scott continued to explain with a slight, muffled laugh, “After I recovered, he begged me to let go of it—to transfer it back onto Jean now that she was stronger, but it doesn’t want to let go. It’s embedded so deep in my system very much a part of me now that…”

“…you’re afraid that it will take control again should you be pushed past the point of no return,” Logan finished knowingly, “And the warehouse…”

“Markus did that to even the odds for our final confrontation with Hagan and the others,” Scott clarified quietly, “He manipulated that entire situation hoping to trigger the memories of Canada and unleash the power that destroyed Abaddon’s compound.”

“So, then you think he’s closing in on you because he knows that you host the Phoenix? That you’re what he wants because…” Logan replied considering Scott’s words.

“No,” Scott shook his head adamantly, “at first I questioned it, but after some thought I don’t think that’s it entirely. It’s too obvious of a solution.”

“It only makes sense that he’s seeking out the source of your power if he was trying to provoke you to respond like you did in Canada,” Logan pointed out observing Scott pace the room again.

“That’s a logical deduction Logan, but even if he’s got Abaddon working with him, I don’t think he has any idea what’s happening inside of me.”

“How can he not after…?”

“Because despite what happened in Canada, no one knows about what I am aside from you, Charles, Hank and Jean,” Scott explained running his hand over the back of his neck as if to rub out the tension that carried over him, “After Canada Charles wiped what little memory was left from Abaddon’s warped mind although there wasn’t much of her left to be concerned about.”

“You’re saying that Chuck stepped in and…?”

“Cleaned up the mess I created so that my secret was safe,” Scott further explained, “I was unable to do anything in the aftermath, so he ensured that what went down in Canada never saw the light of day beyond the five of us. He stepped in to deal with Abaddon.”

“By erasing her memories of the Phoenix?”

“In a lot of ways, the Phoenix had turned Abaddon’s brain effectively to mush ripping her short-term memory from her and stealing away its presence at the compound. As for the others who were there, those who’d been up front and center for the explosion so to speak, hadn’t made it out alive. Those who had been fortunate enough to be spared the wrath of the Phoenix shared no memory of the blast. Hagan and those with him had been knocked out by the power and with Clint…”

“Was he…? Are you saying that Chuck went into his mind to…?” Logan found himself thinking about his friend’s current state of helplessness.

“No. Charles didn’t see the point. Clint wasn’t strong enough to comprehend what was happening at the time,” Scott whispered as the chill in the air caused him to shudder again, “He’d endured so much torture that the sequence of events that happened after I’d emerged from that well was lost on him. He has no memory of the rage the Phoenix unleashed upon the others.”

“Then if he has no idea that…” Logan realized thinking about all the missing pieces in his mind.

“Clint has a feeling about what happened—a bit of intuition without any validation if you will. He can pull together pieces of the first couple of days I was in captivity with the both of you,” Scott clarified, “He remembers me coming in to rescue you and the aftermath in what you conveyed to him once it was over. You told him that I’d saved the both of you.”

“Then he never saw that you were…?”

“Out of control? No, neither he nor any of the others that were there in that compound did,” Scott explained drawing in a nervous breath, “The only two people alive who truly know all the details of what happened in Canada was you and I and well, given what you’ve told me about not being the old you…”

“I saw bits and pieces of it,” Logan confessed reaching for Scott again, “In the hospital I felt it in my dreams—when I saw you emerge from that well with your eyes exposed and…”

“I didn’t mean to lose control like that, but when it happened…”

“You saved us Slim,” Logan sympathetically squeezed over his shoulder, “No matter how it happened. You found a way to pull us out of that nightmare and…”

“It almost cost us everything,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth, “and I refuse to go down that road again now that I know the kind of deadly game Markus is playing. If he has any idea what kind of power that I house inside of me…”

“He won’t get his chance to take it,” Logan promised protectively, “because you said yourself you didn’t show him your hand. You said that wasn’t you at the warehouse.”

“No, but with him setting up that trap, it was his way of trying to pull what I have inside of me out to reveal itself. He’s interested about what I harbor deep within after the way I managed to take down Abaddon,” Scott continued with a tired sigh, “I imagine he’s curious about it, but if he truly knew…”

“Then he wouldn’t be trying to feel the situation out.”

“Exactly,” Scott nodded turning to face Logan again. He pushed one hand through his own dark hair when the tension creased over his jawline, “As far as the rest of the world knows Jean was freed from the hold the Phoenix had upon her. Beyond the five of us who were there for the transfer process no one has any idea that I’m the one that chose to take on this burden.”

“To save Jeanie,” Logan realized thinking about Scott’s loyalty to his estranged wife, “You saved her life Slim.”

“But not the life our child and that’s something I’m going to have to live with each day,” Scott reminded him, “I hesitated and in doing so I wasn’t able to save our child before…”

“That’s not your fault,” Logan attempted to soothe his pain, “You had no idea that…”

“The beast that’s now a part of me murdered my child. I live with it each and every day knowing that it’s locked away inside of me waiting for the opportunity to do the same thing to everyone I love and care about one day,” Scott continued painfully, “When you told me that your Scott was taken down by this…thing…”

“Jeanie was out of control. She couldn’t hold the reigns upon it, which is why it let loose and…”

“I’m struggling to hold on,” Scott explained in a low, quiet tone, “If I feed it, then it seems to be appeased, but if I don’t…especially now after Canada and Markus…”

“Feed it?” Logan repeated watching Scott closely.

“It thrives on destruction, lust and chaos,” Scott quietly explained focusing on a spot on the floor across the tiny room that they were located in, “As long as I’m giving it what it needs to be satiated with things…”

“Like sex,” Logan deduced as Scott braced himself for his lover’s eruption.

Unable to look at Logan, Scott kept his eyes glued to the concrete staring blankly at his feet when he nodded, “Yeah.”

“So then when we…when we’re together like we’ve been doing…?” Logan’s voice waivered for just a moment causing Scott to look at him again.

“It helps keep it locked away inside of me,” Scott explained slowly bracing himself for Logan’s eventual outburst, “It feeds its appetite when I stop fighting my desire.”

“But if you don’t give in to it…?” Logan couldn’t help, but question with concern evident in his tone.

“Then I’m in far more pain than you can imagine,” Scott revealed with an ironic laugh. A ripple of tension carried over him building in the space between his shoulders and coiling down over his spine with his confession, “I went so long without sex—without trying to force any kind of intimacy in my life, but then there you were and…”

“All your hunger came rushing to the surface,” Logan finished watching Scott pull away from his surroundings all over again to revert to that place in his mind he’d swept away from the rest of the world.

“To contain the beast within, I’ve had to release my grip on other reserves in my mind. The lust has always been there, but with you,” Scott licked his lips nervously angling his head up to meet Logan’s questions head on, “It emerges more than it undoubtedly should and…”

“Does it make you feel at ease when we’re together?” Logan’s eyes swept ravenously over the lines of Scott’s body making no mistake about what he was asking of him.

“Sometimes…most of the time,” Scott brought his arms around his body tighter than before, “but I promise you that’s not why I want you. It’s not the Phoenix that causes me to respond the way that I do. It’s just something inside of me that wants…”

“…what I want?” Logan stepped in closer to him.

“Immensely,” Scott nodded nervously. He raised his chin, puffing out his chest and doing his best to stay calm, but there was no denying the way that his gaze swept over Logan’s body, taking in all of Logan standing before him, “It’s just that in admitting it and saying it out loud—in knowing what it is that you do to me…”

“What exactly is it that I do to you Slim?”

“You put my mind and body at ease in ways that I didn’t think was possible after I took all of this on,” Scott divulged with a shivering exhale, “The way that I feel when you’re next to me…the things that it does to me…”

“Slim,” Logan reached out for him again attempting to bridge the distance when Scott sidestepped out of his reach.

“I’m weak and I know that Logan,” Scott lowered his head shamefully, “With the way you make me feel, I’m constantly imagining the two of us together—thinking about the way that it feels when your arms surround me. When I fantasize about us making love…”

“What?” Logan questioned behind bated breath.

“It hurts not to have it Logan,” Scott blurted out without thought to consequence. His hands were trembling, his whole body on edge when he focused on Logan before him, “so much so that I can’t stop myself from thinking about it when we’re together…when I look at you, I see something that’s just out of my reach—something so close, but…”

“All you have to do it reach for me Slim,” Logan stood before him, hovering into Scott’s personal space as Scott swallowed down hard, “Just say the words and I’m yours.”

“I need you Logan,” Scott bellowed shamefully extending his arm to graze his fingertips over the outer edge of Logan’s exposed arm. His index finger teased over Logan’s warm flesh, feeling the goosebumps forming over Logan’s skin gradually increasing in intensity until Scott’s fingertip connected with the edge of the short sleeve of Logan’s black t-shirt, “I need you in ways that I can’t even begin to comprehend. Every time you’re standing beside me there’s something happening that I can’t ignore. Hell, I don’t want to ignore and…”

“You think the Phoenix is tugging on your strings and guiding you to it?” Logan probed in a shivering exhale with Scott’s fingers over his bicep.

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly. He swallowed down hard, his lips opening and closing as he struggled to collect his thoughts, “It’s not the Phoenix at all. It’s that part of me that I locked away deep inside me for so very long. It’s finally fighting back. It doesn’t want to remain hidden—to stay buried beneath the walls any longer. It wants to be free. It wants…”

“What?”

“You Logan,” Scott declared brazenly squeezing over Logan’s arm, “It wants you.”

“I want you too,” Logan reached for Scott, drawing him in against his chest as their lips collided in a harsh, wild display of passion and temptation.

Soon Scott’s arms surrounded Logan’s shoulders gripping at the back of his black t-shirt without thought or reason. Instead of drawing away, Scott tumbled back to the top of Norm’s computer area, perched upon the desk. Logan’s hands roamed wildly over the lines of Scott’s body, ripping, and tearing at his neatly pressed button-down blue and white pinstripe shirt tucked into the top of his pants. With a firm tug, Logan yanked the shirt out from underneath Scott’s slacks instead pushing the freed material aside in favor of bringing his hand up over Scott’s spine, imprinting the warmth of his hand over Scott’s heated skin. Their lips crashed into one another urgently, both teetering on the brink of losing control as Scott’s arms surrounded Logan’s shoulders. His legs wrapped around Logan’s hips as he leaned back against the side of wall of oversized monitor attached to the computer. He collided with the hard material feeling it dig into his back when his legs enfolded Logan tighter than before.

“Slim,” Logan practically growled as Scott’s fingers gripped on the back of Logan’s t-shirt desperately jerking it up over Logan’s torso to bring them together for a more intimate contact. Sensing Scott’s urgency, Logan pulled back just long enough to toss his own shirt over his head before returning to Scott in a reckless, wild kiss. Urgently Scott’s arms encircled Logan once again, his body sliding close to Logan on the edge of the computer desk when the beeping sound of the computer turning on behind them caused both men to jolt to a stop.

“Logan?” Scott questioned when the monitor Scott was leaning up against was now illuminated to reveal the computer logo on the screen before him. It was enough for Logan to step aside and Scott to slide forward the top of the desk to focus on the new interruption to their passion play.

“The computer,” Logan practically cursed the machine before him when both men knew that it had severed their lustful connection bringing them back to the reality of the things they’d yet to deal with in the night ahead of them, “I…I was going to turn off the cameras in the house.”

“Right,” Scott swallowed down hard fighting to ignore the rapid beating of his heart. He hopped down from the desktop taking a full view of the super machine before him. Silently he observed Logan pushing the oversized leather chair aside in favor of punching in a passcode to the computer. As he did so, the screen lit up with a new blue background color revealing a far different glimpse into the security system, “Norm gave you his password?”

“For the security system sure,” Logan nodded clicking away at the keys to disarm the cameras inside of the farmhouse, “I can also open this up and look into the footage from earlier so that we can delete the fact that you and I were in the kitchen…”

“Is there a camera in here in this room as well?” Scott apprehensively questioned as his thoughts returned to their host again.

“No,” Logan answered readily clicking his mouse over the icon at the lower quadrant of the screen, “this room and the one outside this door are secure. Given the nature of Norm’s work, he made the decision that this area is off limits to outside interference. There’s no surveillance equipment or cameras down here so anything we’ve said or done is just now…”

“Between us,” Scott realized watching as Logan began to pluck away at the keyboard.

“I promised you that we were safe,” Logan added when Scott took a step forward to inspect the computer.

“I know you think we are, but…” Scott’s words trailed off in watching Logan work. Interested Scott leaned in over Logan’s shoulder watching as Logan worked his way through the security system program, “I had no idea that you were so techy. The other you had no sense of what was up or down in modern technology.”

“I’m not,” Logan’s brow creased as he attempted to click at the keys, “but last time I was here Norm gave me a run down on how the system works in case I ever needed to get inside and…”

“Wait a second,” Scott reached out over Logan’s shoulder to touch his arm, “Does this thing show old footage around this place?”

“Yeah, I’m sure it does, but really Norm hasn’t been up here since we talked that night about the trials and…” Logan explained turning his head to the side to look up at Scott, “I wouldn’t know how to even begin to access the archives beyond the last few days and…”

“Get up. Let me look,” Scott suggested nudging Logan in the shoulder when it was clear that Norm’s computer had proven to be a surprisingly welcome distraction, “I’m sure if we could run through them a bit we might find something that…”

“Scott, I don’t know what you think you’re looking for here,” Logan frowned giving Scott the opportunity to take a closer look at Norm’s files, “Norm’s not the enemy. He’s not the one that is coming after us and…”

“I’m not sure of anything at this point, but…” Scott stopped himself when he spotted the icon for another, more familiar program in front of him, “He’s got access to the government database from here, doesn’t he?”

“You mean like S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Among other things,” Scott clicked on the icon watching as the program began to load before him suddenly opening the door to a far more promising start to the evening between them, “This could give us the key to what we’ve been looking for and… Shit! It needs a password.”

“Slim, I don’t know if right now we should…” Logan began as Scott surveyed the room taking in their surroundings again.

“I’m sure there must be some clue as to what it might be considering that…” Scott contemplated looking to the wall of photos again.

“It’s Sara0625,” Logan answered with a small sigh.

“Right,” Scott indulged Logan long enough to tap at the keys to put in the input to their host’s security clearance to the database that up until now was out of their reach, “How do you know that?”

“Because it was his late wife’s birthday. He also gave that password to me when I said we were coming here. He thought that perhaps you and I would rather skip over the runaround we’ve been getting to go straight to the source in our research,” Logan explained leaning up against the desktop again when access had been granted to the database, “I told you Norm wants to help us with this.”

“This is huge…” Scott decided as he found himself skimming through classified files on the screen before him. Within seconds he found himself staring at the file that SHIELD had worked up on Markus from his psychological profile to his complete history before Markus had made the change into something more, “If we can take the time to do our research right, then we can get one step ahead of the game with Markus. With the clearance that Norm has…”

“Slim…” Logan reached out to squeeze at Scott’s wrist, “we still have dinner…”

“I realize that Logan, but if we can get the information now…” Scott turned to the screen again before Logan’s fingers squeezed at his wrist again.

“Dinner first, okay?” Logan softened his tone reminding Scott of all the things that he’d promised to give to his lover on their first night at their new haven.

With access to the world at his fingertips, Scott found himself at a turning point knowing full well with a few hours research he could easily gain an advantage over Markus. With a few clicks, he could find something to use to put him over the edge in ending Markus and his reign of terror once and for all. It was the first bright spot in a very long time for him, but as he felt the weight of Logan’s eyes burning a hole into the back of his head, he found himself met by a moment of guilt.

“This connection can’t be traced can it?” Scott had to ask looking up at Logan once again.

“Norm’s got his own methods of evading detection,” Logan answered readily, “which begins with him having an anonymous address that can’t be traced back to here and…”

“So essentially we can sneak in and out of the system whenever we want simply because…”

“He is willing to help us take Markus down,” Logan finished, “but right now I think we should focus on the meal that’s waiting upstairs considering I worked really hard at putting it together and…”

“Logan…” Scott found himself bound by obligation to the mission, now fueled with the idea of seizing the advantage that had presented itself.

With a few hours research under his belt, Scott would be able to learn something that would easily help him take down his enemy, but with Logan standing beside him pleading for him to give a part of himself that he’d often refused, Scott found himself at a turning point. He looked between the computer and Logan for a few seconds preparing to give in to his instincts and spend the night buried in learning all he could about his enemy. It was clearly the right decision to make, but as he witnessed disappointment creasing over Logan’s brow, he found himself at a loss. Instead of giving in to instinct, he simply closed the program opting instead to focus on the man standing beside him.

“This had better be a good meal,” Scott half teased knowing full well what he was walking away from to make the concession to appease Logan’s desire to spend time with him.

“It’ll be worth it,” Logan promised cracking a small grin that only reaffirmed that Scott’s ‘poor decision’ to avoid research had been perhaps the wiser option in knowing how important it was to his companion.

“I know it will,” Scott decided turning the chair around fully to face Logan. Smiling as Logan held his hand out to him once again, Scott gave himself to the idea of letting go for one night knowing full well that as soon as he had a few hours of sleep in him that he would be fully prepared to search for the solution to his problem once and for all.


	30. Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan presents his romantic dinner to Scott fully intending to sweep Scott off his feet once and for all.

**Devotion:** love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause.

“Keep your eyes closed,” Logan suggested sliding his arms around Scott’s waist. Together they ascended the hidden stairwell to the first-floor hallway out of the farm’s secret basement entrance, “Are they closed?”

“If they weren’t you wouldn’t know it?” Scott teased listening to the sound of Logan closing the linen closet. His grin expanded when Logan’s fingers playfully squeezed over his hip.

“Trust me I’d know,” Logan placed a kiss over the side of Scott’s neck as they moved through the hallway towards the small kitchen area, “but as it stands, I changed my mind. You can look for now.”

“Great because I wouldn’t want to miss a detail about this meal you slaved over especially when I could be buried in game changing research that…” Scott turned towards the kitchen preparing to say something to witty, but he found himself at a loss when he noticed the pans piled up in the sink before him, “Um…Logan, where’s dinner?”

“Outside,” Logan explained nudging Scott again, “We’re going to head out the front door and…”

“And what?” Scott questioned turning to face his lover once again, “Eat in the truck bed underneath the stars?”

“Scott…” Logan’s voice held warning.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Scott couldn’t help, but frown considering his companion’s strange behavior, “as much as I’m sure that would be a pleasurable activity for you, the idea of being wrapped up in mosquitos all clamoring for a taste of this meal you prepared is just…”

“Be quiet and let me lead on this one,” Logan suggested pressing a kiss over the back of Scott’s neck, “would you?”

“Fine,” Scott sighed contemplating how much work Logan still had laid out before him after their meal in cleaning up the dishes. The sheer volume of the pans in the sink were enough for Scott to question just what Logan had prepared for them given that they’d talked about keeping things simple for their date night, “So where were we going again?”

“You’ll see,” Logan promised releasing Scott long enough to outstretch his hand again, “What do you say?”

“I’m all yours,” Scott replied forcing himself to focus on his promise to enjoy dinner before taking Logan’s hand in his.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Close your eyes.” Logan ordered once more.

“Again?” Scott let out an impatient huff, “I thought we were already past that part.”

“Just do it,” Logan insisted.

“Fine,” Scott agreed accepting Logan’s fingers in his knowing only too well that whatever Logan had in store for him was undoubtedly going to be a surprise for them. Feeling the concrete beneath his toes Scott let out a small breath noting that the autumn evening was warmer than it had been the last few days they’d been stuck at the motel surrounded by the damp, muggy weather eating greasy, soggy tacos from the fast food restaurant in the adjacent parking lot. This night, however, was devoid of the remnants of the city noise with the quiet contemplation of the country night around them. It felt almost as if it was the end of spring, right before summer set in where the wind was cool enough to be comfortable, but warm enough to simply enjoy being outside without being bundled up.

“We’re almost there,” Logan coaxed Scott on further leading him away from the front of the farmhouse in a new, different direction than the one they’d charted up on when they’d first arrived. In the distance, Scott could hear the faint sounds of rustling water and crickets chirping indicating that the night was winding down. He took in the faint croaking of frogs in the distance communicating beyond where he and Logan were with one another.

“You’re not taking me into the woods for a campout, are you?” Scott teased with the beginnings of a smirk upon his lips. With Logan’s arms surrounding his waist, Scott trailed his index finger over the top of Logan’s palm imagining how ridiculous they must’ve looked moving together as a unit into the night beyond the walls of the tiny farmhouse, “We won’t have to catch our dinner now, will we?”

“That’s a quest for another night when we’re a bit more settled, but for tonight rest assured your meal is fully prepared, ready and waiting for you,” Logan taunted with a laugh when one hand pushed up over Scott’s abdomen to rub gently over his lean form. His other hand touched Scott’s hip sending awareness through Scott’s body before Logan spoke up in a low, sexy timbre, “Careful. Watch your step.”

“I’ve got it,” Scott promised listening to the sound of a gate opening in front of them. It creaked with movement indicating that they were leaving the open area in the front of the farmhouse in favor of something different, but not too far from the home itself. With a gentle nudge, Scott raised his foot, pushing up over a series of three concrete steps into another area beyond the gate that Logan had opened.

“We could’ve gone out the back door, but I didn’t want to ruin the surprise in case you were too eager to take a look.”

“I’m not peeking I swear,” Scott replied emphatically, “You asked me to let you take charge for the evening, so I’m following your orders.”

“I could get used to that,” Logan teased again, “very used to that.”

“For now, you’re in control, but that may change later,” Scott cautioned him once again when a breeze carried over the night that surrounded him, “especially if dinner doesn’t live up to my expectations.”

“In that case, I’ve got nothing to worry about then because I’m sure to please you in every way imaginable tonight,” Logan laughed lightly when Scott’s attempt at humor hit him.

“Good,” Scott cleared his throat awkwardly, “so are we almost there yet?”

“Yeah, we’re here. Now you can open your eyes,” Logan whispered warmly over the back of Scott’s neck. He stepped aside giving Scott the first opportunity to discover the covered back porch of the farmhouse. Unlike the front of the farmhouse, the back was elegant in design with sculpted columns holding up the square shaped mesh ironwork of the roof with intricate lattice patterns etched into it. White fairy lights were woven in the rooftop itself draped overhead producing a soft glow to the contrast the night around them. In the center of the space there was a sturdy, hand carved wooden table at the center of the cozy, inspired sanctuary with various covered plates and an ice bucket. To the left there was a glowing, woodburning fireplace working to neutralize the temperature of the night around them.

“I’m sure this isn’t what you were imagining when I suggested a dinner date,” Logan mouthed moving over towards the table to reach for one of the handcrafted wooden chairs positioned at the table. He pulled it out and nodded to Scott, hoping that Scott would follow the hint to step towards him.

“Not in the least, but…” Scott raised his chin up taking in the soft warmth that the overhead lights provided them. To say it felt magical was an understatement as the sounds of the quiet country intermixed with the crackling fireplace prompted Scott to take it all in, observing their private hideaway before another thought carried over him, “Are there cameras out here?”

“Not in this place. There’s no need for them,” Logan promised nodding to the chair again, “Care to take a seat?”

“Right,” Scott swallowed down hard. He took a nervous step towards Logan, finally focusing on the various trays before him, “What in the world were you cooking in there?”

“A little bit of everything,” Logan explained reaching out to take Scott’s hand in his. Smiling, he pulled Scott in against his chest, surprising Scott with the movement before their lips met in a chaste, teasing kiss, “I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for.”

“You,” Scott twisted on his toes to kiss Logan once again, “but I’m guessing that’s not on the menu tonight.”

“You’ll get a little bit of me in your meal,” Logan promised delivering another small kiss to Scott before stepping back. He guided Scott over to the seat, hoping that Scott would take his cues to relax at the skillfully crafted table before him.

“Did you create this as well?” Scott questioned when Logan helped him ease his chair in closer to the table. Reaching out to stroke the intricate pattern that was carved into the side of the tabletop, Scott found himself caught up in the craftsmanship of it all.

“I was bored during some of my down time and had a lot of energy to burn,” Logan waved his hand dismissively, “This old thing isn’t much, but…”

“It’s stunning,” Scott mouthed fingering the grooves in the wood to take it all in. The solid, sturdy foundation was carved with precise, determined strokes reminding Scott of the ease in his lover’s touch. It was present in the woodwork as Scott knew full well that Logan’s hands had weaved their magic upon most things he touched. While Logan had often surrounded himself with thoughts of madness over his claws and their capabilities, his talents had never truly been lost on Scott in the little, more subtle things that Logan’s hands could do, “I love it.”

“In that case, I’ll make you one,” Logan replied with a wistful smile, “Though I don’t know if Chuck would really appreciate it in the lunchroom or the lounge.”

“Then we’ll have to find our own place to put it in,” Scott blurted out without hesitation. As soon as the words fell from his lips, he gasped bringing his hand up over the side of his face, “I mean…I’m sure we could find a way to work it out somehow.”

“I imagine we could,” Logan noted with a wide grin leaving no indication other than the sparkle in his eyes that he’d taken Scott’s words to heart, “I hope you’re hungry.”

“To be honest,” Scott paused feeling a rumble in his abdomen, “as much as I wanted to spend the rest of the night in front of that computer, I’m honestly starving. It’s been a long day.”

“Then I imagine you’ll appreciate the fact that we’re not surrounded by greasy fast-food tonight,” Logan replied nodding to the trays before Scott, “Take your pick.”

“What is all of this?” Scott arched a curious brow behind his glasses.

“Dealer’s choice?” Logan’s fingers hovered over the covered dishes, waving his palm around until he nodded to Scott once again, “You pick?”

“What’s in there?” Scott questioned pointing to the ice bucket he’d spotted on the walk over to the table.

“That’s something we’ll get to soon enough, but first…” Logan waved his hand over the trays again, “What will it be?”

“I’ll go for mystery plate number two,” Scott pointed to the center tray imagining that it would be something like steaks or burgers given Logan’s culinary limitations from what he’d witnessed from afar. Granted at this point he’d take anything, but Scott hadn’t been prepared for the sight spread out before him when Logan removing the cover revealed an elegant, colorful feast before him.

“It’s ratatouille,” Logan explained with a sheepish grin, “I figured I may as well make use of all those amazing vegetables that we picked up today. If you look you can see the….”

“…tomatoes, eggplant, peppers and zucchini that you took your time inspecting at the market,” Scott leaned in over the table to take a closer look at Logan’s culinary concoction. Just the sight of it caused Scott’s stomach to rumble harder than he’d anticipated when Logan reached for the lid on the tray beside the ratatouille.

“And this…this one was a hard choice because I’d found myself contemplating what would pair nicely with our meal. I know on most occasions that a seasoned leg of lamb would be the most desirable combination, but given our limited options,” Logan removed the second lid to reveal a display of equally tantalizing food before him, “pan seared flank steak seemed like a better fit.”

“It looks…” Scott paused only to give in to the hunger pains that had worked over him, “fantastic.”

“Great,” Logan stood upright reaching for the plates he’d kept at the side of the table, “then how about we dig in?”

“Absolutely,” Scott agreed watching as Logan moved around the table doing his best to serve Scott. With each nervous move Logan made, Scott could feel the enthusiasm bristling over his lover’s skin. When their arms briefly touched, Logan lingered for a few seconds before finishing with the plating for their food. After a few quiet moments Logan was once again seated across from Scott at the table with a smile on his face.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted wine or…” Logan’s eyes lingered to the ice bucket once again.

“What’s that?” Scott questioned reaching for his fork.

“After dinner,” Logan decided swallowing down his nervousness. He stood upright, not even bothering to touch his meal when his brow creased, “I forgot the wine inside. Would you prefer red or white?”

“Surprise me,” Scott decided watching Logan take off in the direction they’d entered the area from. It was enough time for Scott to take in their surroundings, to appreciate the efforts Logan had taken to making their dinner special. Despite the task Scott knew full well he had ahead of him, there was something welcoming about the change of pace with him and Logan underneath the evening sky having dinner together tucked away from the rest of the world.

Turning his attention to the plate before him again, Scott couldn’t help, but think about how beautiful the meal was. It looked like something out of a top-rated restaurant or magazine, yet as Scott thought about the Logan he’d known, it felt like a stranger’s meal before him. The Logan he’d known was more of a beer and barbecue kind of guy. Granted steak fit perfectly into that theme, but not the steaming culinary delight on the plate that seduced Scott’s senses. It was an elegant, robust cut garnished with mushrooms and onion smelling like heaven underneath the night sky. It was clear that Logan had poured a great deal of energy into perfecting it knowingly creating a masterpiece that felt almost out of character for the gruff, wild man Scott had known. The meal spoke volumes about indulgence, yet it was as if Logan was almost trying too hard to impress Scott with something that he didn’t need to be. The thought puzzled Scott as he’d found that there’d never been a need for Logan to try to impress him. The superficial act was beyond them as Scott had never required much from a companion, yet the meal before Scott was elegant and noteworthy, undoubtedly fit for the elite.

_“Only the best tonight,”_ Scott could practically hear Logan’s words in the back of his mind. Granted the meal laid out before Scott delivered beyond that promise, yet Scott found himself questioning its authenticity. However, before Scott could overanalyze it, he heard Logan returning. Absentmindedly he raised his chin up to discover that instead of a bottle of wine in his grasp, Logan simply he carried a case of beer with him tucked under his arm. The realization caused Scott to grin widely having been met with familiarity in his lover’s improvisation.

“It’s not classy, but it felt right,” Logan shrugged in explanation depositing the box down on the tabletop. He carefully slid it towards the center away from the dinner plates before nodding to Scott again, “I know that most of the time you’re a lightweight so if you’d prefer the wine…”

“Beer sounds fantastic right about now,” Scott laughed nervously wondering why it suddenly felt so strange to be seated across from a man that a short while earlier he’d been desperately pawing at. As Logan tore into the case of beer, he handed one can out to Scott before taking his seat at the opposite side of the table, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Logan replied reaching for his fork and nodding to his plate, “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will,” Scott smiled twisting in his seat. He watched Logan for a few seconds before turning his attention to his plate.

Just the smell alone was enough to seduce his senses, taking it all in for the fragrant delight, but as he heard Logan poking at his food, Scott opted to take his first bite. As soon as it touched his lips and tongue, he let out an involuntary moan, unable to suppress his natural reaction to the flavors that Logan had pulled together. Immediately his mouth watered, his body craving more as he found himself eagerly digging into the meal that Logan prepared for him.

“What do you think?” Logan questioned as Scott cut into his steak preparing to pair it with the vegetables on his plate. The result was heavenly as Scott angled his head to discover Logan watching him with curious eyes.

“You cook almost as well as you…” Scott bit down on his lower lip, silently cursing himself for his crude thoughts, “What I meant to say is that it is amazing. I had no idea that you could…”

“Work my magic in the kitchen?” Logan winked reaching out across the table to take Scott’s hand in his, “You’ll find that I’m full of surprises Slim.”

“I didn’t expect this,” Scott smiled in response looking to Logan’s fingers over the top of his palm. Instinctively Scott twisted his index finger around Logan’s thumb issuing him a small squeeze. A few seconds later he released Logan’s fingers in favor of resuming his focus on his meal before speaking up again, “The other you, well…he was more of a no-frills kind of guy. He really didn’t seem to enjoy cooking…”

“He did,” Logan argued with a shrug. He cut into his steak again, slicing himself a thick piece before raising it to his lips to take a hearty bite, “He just didn’t think that anyone was worth sharing that part of his life with.”

“No?” Scott inquired raising his chin up to redirect his attention to Logan across the table, “Not even me?”

“I don’t think he imagined you’d appreciate such a skill given the nature of your relationship. I think he took you as someone who couldn’t appreciate the power of a good meal,” Logan grumbled in between bites under his breath, “which shows what an idiot he was.”

“How can you be certain that he knew how to do all of this?” Scott queried poking his fork into a piece of eggplant on his plate, “I knew him for years. We spent a considerable amount of time together and never once did he attempt something like this considering that…”

“I learned…or rather we learned this when I was stationed in France during one of the wars,” Logan set his fork down and elaborated further, “We’d stayed in this small town just outside of Paris where I’d befriended a local sous-chef who taught me a few tricks of the trade during my downtime and…”

“Let me guess he was devastatingly handsome and irresistible when you crossed paths with one another,” Scott pondered aloud. He skewered the vegetables on his plate before looking over at Logan, “I imagine it was love at first sight and…”

“He was well over eighty years old with a hell of a lot of history behind him in the village that he lived in,” Logan clarified catching the spike of jealousy in Scott’s tone, “He’d been retired from Parisian business for quite a few years, but that didn’t stop his neighbors from coming into his local establishment to feast upon his culinary concoctions, artisanal delights and delicacies.”

“Is that right?” Scott leaned forward taking in Logan’s words with a small smile.

Logan nodded, “Yeah he was one hell of a conversationalist although he was a horrible cheat at cards.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Scott brought one hand up over the side of his face. He felt his skin flush as he found himself mesmerized by the warmth in Logan’s words, “So the two of you bonded over bread?”

“Bread can be quite the tool for bonding,” Logan explained reaching out to pull the lid off of a third tray that Scott hadn’t really considered, “Speaking of which…”

“Oh, that does look incredible,” Scott confessed as the wind provided him with the first enticing whiff of the fresh baked loaf before him, “That smells…”

“Like a little slice of heaven,” Logan finished with a playful wink. He reached for the bread knife that was laid out beside the platter and carefully cut Scott a slice, “Jean Pierre was an old soul like me. We met when a band of local thugs tried to ransack him in an alleyway outside his tavern until I intervened…”

“Of course, he had a tavern,” Scott smirked wider than before.

“He did,” Logan laughed lightly as he reached for his beer to take a swig from the can, “and I learned a lot during my time there. Some of which included this meal tonight.” 

“Gee, I’d just assumed Norm was the one to teach you this given all of his many talents,” Scott grumbled underneath his breath causing Logan to practically choke on the beer he’d swallowed.

“Slim?” Logan frowned setting his beer can down, “Come on. You know that…”

“I’m sorry,” Scott attempted to shake the thought that escaped him, “Here you are doing something nice for me and I’m being a prick. Now isn’t the time for my skepticism.”

“Perhaps not, but I can understand where you’re coming from considering that…” Logan’s agitation melted into compassion when his fingers found their way across the table top to reach for Scott’s hand again, “I know that you aren’t convinced that Norm is on our side, but you really have no reason to believe that my history with him interferes with our relationship in any way.”

“It was an ill-timed remark and I apologize,” Scott apologized pulling his hand away from Logan. He reached or his fork, gripping onto it tightly when condemning thoughts overtook him again, “Look, Logan I think dinner is delicious and…”

“It’s too much?” Logan questioned watching Scott pick at the colorful vegetables on his plate again.

“No, it’s really not. It’s incredible actually and…” Scott stopped himself when his body tensed up at the disappointment in his lover’s tone. Placing his fork down on his plate, Scott struggled with his thoughts finding that the words didn’t come out as he knew they should, “It’s not that I don’t appreciate all of this Logan because I do, but at the same time…”

“Your mind is back on the computer imagining what you can dig up on Markus,” Logan fought to suppress the frown that carried over him at Scott’s earlier distraction, “With all that’s been happening that’s obviously on your mind, I realize that getting to work is important to you and…”

“No,” Scott blurted out perhaps too quickly when Logan slumped down in his seat losing some of the eagerness that had guided his attempts at preparing a date night for them, “I mean yes I’ve thought about the work that is cut out for me with figuring out how to take down Markus. With the computer, sure…knowing that it is down there is a bit of a distraction, but I mean that’s not what I’m…what I’m thinking about right now. I suppose to some degree the thought had crossed my mind, but…”

“But what?” Logan folded his arms in front of his chest. Taking the time to lean back in his seat and stretch his legs out in a more relaxed position, Scott could see that Logan was struggling to keep his disappointment to a minimum in their conversation.

“I just…I don’t understand why…” Scott attempted to explain when he looked to the foods spread out before him.

“Why what?” Logan questioned angling his head to reveal the pensive expression that carried over his steely jawline.

“Why are you doing this?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when his thoughts escaped him.

“Doing what?” Logan sat up straighter.

“All of this,” Scott nodded to the trays out before him, hoping to convey his thoughts with more clarity.

“All of what Slim?”

“This,” Scott sighed pointing to the half-eaten plate of food before him, “Pampering me with lavish meals and setting a mood here?”

“It’s not that lavish and the mood,” Logan motioned to the overhead fairy lights, “is more so my attempt at being practical so that we can see underneath the stars. I know people think moonlight meals are romantic, but out in the country on a night like this it wouldn’t be enough to showcase the meal when…”

“That’s not what I meant,” Scott paused contemplating his words. He sat up straighter placing his hands on the tabletop to look directly at Logan. He found that his body was tense, his shoulders tightening when he watched Logan’s casual display before him, “After everything I’ve put you through since I first started spying on you back at the school, I imagine you’d want to distance yourself from me.”

“Why are we back to this again?” Logan sighed leaning back further in his chair. He shook his head and released the first frustrated sigh that he’d truly allowed in quite some time between them, “I thought after what we talked about before that we were beyond this Slim. I thought we covered the fact that…”

“I know what we’ve covered Logan,” Scott’s voice cracked with tension, “which is why that question is on the front burner of my mind. I can’t stop thinking about this especially because of what we talked about before. Knowing what you do about me Logan, I don’t know how we can just pretend that any of this is normal…”

“No one is claiming that it is Slim, but at the same time,” Logan finally sat upright in his chair facing down Scott with ironclad will, “I don’t see how that should change any of what we planned on sharing tonight.”

“I just dropped a huge bombshell on you Logan—one that really can’t be taken lightly,” Scott’s words fell from his lips without thought or consideration, “You must have your concerns given that in your world you told me that the Phoenix murdered your lover.”

“The circumstances were different,” Logan’s frown intensified.

“Maybe, but at the same time…” Scott began again weighing out the things that he and Logan had shared with one another, “From what you told me he wasn’t the host. He was only one of the many caught in the wake of its rage and…”

“The Phoenix worked itself into his mind,” Logan clarified leaning in over the top of the table, “For weeks it tore at his defenses working its way inside and tormenting him with thoughts and visions he refused to share with me. He might not have been the host like you are but suffered in silence. He kept me at arm’s length refusing to let me inside.”

“It’s a difficult thing to do,” Scott lowered his voice when his eyes returned to his plate again.

“I don’t doubt that,” Logan offered up readily, “Knowing the weight of the incredible amount of power that you carry can’t be simple. It wasn’t easy for him, but at the same time he never gave me a chance to be there for him. He refused to allow me access to what was happening…”

“Inviting you inside isn’t going to make it easier for you,” Scott retorted guiltily lowering his head again, “Maybe he was stronger than I was in keeping you away from its power. By not letting you inside…”

“…he paved the way for it to destroy him,” Logan’s words were terse. His jaw flexed, his body growing rigid with tension when he gripped onto his beer can with his left hand, “He felt it best to endure his torment never giving any indication of its presence and ultimately that was what took him under. There was nothing I could do to stop it from happening because he refused to be honest enough with me to share what was going on inside of him.”

“He wanted to protect you. That much I’m sure of,” Scott forced himself to face Logan again, “Just knowing the kind of madness I’ve housed…”

“I understand why you made the sacrifice that you did Slim. I’m not going to judge you for your actions when mine haven’t always landed me in the best position.”

“Which I don’t understand,” Scott reached for his beer. Raising the can to his lips, he took a long, uneasy sip.

“What do you mean?” Logan asked tentatively.

“I can’t fathom how you can be so understanding about this knowing what you do. In telling you all the things that I’ve done I just don’t see how you aren’t ready to run away,” Scott paused struggling to find the right words to convey what he was feeling, “He might’ve cared, but he was always…”

“Angry? Apprehensive?” Logan tossed back flippantly.

“Among other things,” Scott nodded drawing in a breath when his grip on his beer can constricted, “When I reached the point of no return, he was there to reel me back in, but after everything played out in Canada, we were never the same again. Then after Boston…”

“…he wasn’t strong enough to be honest with himself about what was happening,” Logan brazenly reached across the top of the table to take Scott’s right hand in his, “Deep down he knew that you’d never sleep with him unless it meant something to you. He had to see that seducing him had everything to do with the way you felt, but instead of forcing you to face that truth, he took the coward’s way out in accepting your words as truth.”

“I’d made a practice not to lie to him,” Scott glanced down at Logan’s hand over his again.

“Until then,” Logan clarified causing Scott to frown.

“Until then,” Scott repeated with a nod of resignation, “I did the both of us a huge disservice back in that motel room in Boston when I pretended that everything we shared was nothing more than a mission to be followed through until completion.”

“None greater than the one that you pushed upon yourself,” Logan’s voice roused Scott from his own condemning thoughts, “We’ve all made mistakes Slim. The point of them is to learn from our experiences so that we don’t make them again…”

“I know that, but at the same time,” Scott paused weighing out his words, “there’s a part of me that fears that I haven’t learned a damn thing. I feel like I’m bound to make the same mistakes again as this continues.”

“There I disagree,” Logan argued squeezing Scott’s fingers supportively.

“How so?” Scott angled his head to watch Logan more closely. Underneath the glow of the fairy lights his skin took on an ethereal softness, smoothing the hard lines of his features and surrounding them with warmth with his fingertips skimming over the top of Scott’s hand.

“Because you’ve already changed the pattern that has guided you on for most of your life.”

“I’m not following,” Scott confessed unable to take his eyes off Logan seated before him. As their fingertips touched, he found himself mesmerized by the possibility of what if with the strong, surprising optimism Logan brought to their conversation.

“Take tonight for example. You fought against your every instinct to go back into that room downstairs and put your all into researching every last detail that you can about Markus,” Logan squeezed his hand again when a gentle breeze caused the wind chime that was connected near the edge of the patio to sound in the distance, “I realize that it has to be eating away at you in sitting out here with me when you want to be…”

“I’m where I want to be,” Scott interrupted with a new determination in his voice. His grip on Logan’s fingers constricted causing Logan’s eyes to widen with surprise, “You asked me out on a dinner date and now here we are.”

“Are we?” Logan challenged with an arched brow as the soft echo of the chimes created a delicate melody around them.

“Absolutely,” Scott still holding onto Logan’s hand. With a sideways smirk he reached across the table to collect his beer in his free hand, “In fact, how about we raise a toast to tonight and this dinner date?”

“Why not?” Logan replied still holding onto Scott’s hand while reaching for his own beer can. With a smirk he clinked it to Scott’s as they sat across from one another preparing to savor the night that Logan had put together for them.

* * *

“That was amazing,” Scott sighed feeling the weight of fullness overtake him after Logan’s attempt at dinner had proven to be even more satisfying than Scott had anticipated. Not only had the meal captured his full attention, but the empty dessert plate before Scott spoke volumes about the delicious caramel-pecan cheesecake pie that Logan had presented as a follow up to their meal. It was rich and wonderful in all the right ways as Scott leaned back in his seat watching Logan speaking enthusiastically about the woman who’d given him the recipe decades earlier after he’d done carpentry work for her during his down time.

“And as you can see,” Logan ran his index finger through the plate before him, catching the remainder of caramel sauce over its tip before raising it towards his mouth, “I retained that bit of knowledge through the years.”

“And I’m quite thankful for that,” Scott watched Logan preparing to savor the last taste of caramel from his fingertip. With Scott’s laughter, he shifted directions however, rethinking the movement before he extended his finger out to Scott.

“Want the last taste?” Logan questioned with a suggestive wiggle of his brow.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Scott leaned forward catching Logan’s wrist in his fingers. Gently guiding Logan’s index finger to his mouth, Scott’s lips surrounded Logan’s fingertip, lightly flicking his tongue over the salted caramel to savor the lingering remains of the dessert.

“Slim,” Logan swallowed down hard mesmerized by the tiny flicks of Scott’s tongue over his skin, lapping eagerly at his flesh long after the last trace of caramel had melted in the warmth of his mouth. Keeping his grip on Logan’s wrist, Scott continued to guide Logan’s finger in further, teasingly nibbling on the tip before finally drawing back to release Logan.

“So…um…how about a drink?” Logan questioned turning his attention to the ice bucket, “I know we’ve had the beer, but…”

“You have something special in there?” Scott arched a speculative brow.

“Maybe, but first…” Logan stood upright, moving across the covered area to stand over by the still burning fireplace, “How about a little mood music?”

“Out here?” Scott leaned back in his chair watching Logan reveal an old record player set up beside the fireplace.

“Now, I know this isn’t going to be like music now, but there’s something about authenticity that…” Logan’s words trailed off with the smooth, mellow jazz tunes on the player spilled out into the night setting the mood for romance.

“I love jazz,” Scott interrupted with a wry grin, “Jean always said it made me an old soul in enjoying it the way I do, but there was something about the era that…”

“…inspired romance and freedom in the music?” Logan finished with a knowing grin. He crossed the patio area making his way over to the ice bucket. Reaching within he pulled out the heavy glass bottle revealing the amber colored liquid from within.

“Something like that,” Scott nodded watching as Logan began to open the familiar whiskey brand bottle to mimic the notion of letting it breathe for a few short seconds. The act in itself always caused Scott to laugh and shake his head knowing that only Logan could make a mockery of savoring the initial tease of whiskey upon his senses drawing forth the aroma of their selected poison on the occasions when they’d found themselves sharing a bottle with one another.

“Why that particular whiskey tonight?” Scott questioned watching Logan pour them each a glass.

“Why not?” Logan countered setting the bottle down on the tabletop and paving the way to a night of overindulgence before them.

Scott hesitated thinking about the last time he and Logan had shared that particular brand of whiskey with one another. It caused a jolt of regret to carry over his body, attempting to recall the things associated with their last night together in Boston before he’d ruined everything. With a sigh Scott dismissed the thought in favor of returning to the question at hand, “The night you caught me spying on you in your return from the trials, you set a bottle of that outside of my room.”

“You like it, do you not?” Logan challenged pushing one glass across the table in a silent offering to Scott.

“I do perhaps more than I care to admit,” Scott readily agreed. He reached for the glass allowing his fingers to graze over Logan’s for a brief, tantalizing moment. However, in thinking about the man seated across from him, Scott let out a small sigh withdrawing from the touch, “but how do you know that I do?”

“Because,” Logan set the whiskey bottle down on the tabletop before taking his seat once again, “I know you Scott Summers in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine.”

“I can imagine a lot,” Scott’s face grew flushed at the thoughts that had carried over him, “but with this particular whiskey…”

“…we’d drink it on missions together,” Logan explained leaning back in his chair, “Sometimes to alleviate the stress of the day. Other times it was simply because we needed an excuse to unwind and let loose.”

“Drinking does often do that to me,” Scott confessed bringing the glass up to his lips. He took a slow, steadied sip allowing the liquid to burn down his throat. With the burn it propelled a memory of the past taking him back to the last time he’d shared that whiskey with the other Logan, “We had this in Boston right before everything fell apart.”

“Oh,” Logan’s expression shifted revealing nothing of the thoughts Scott was convinced undoubtedly carried over him.

“But you weren’t aware of that when you placed that bottle outside of my bedroom that night, were you?” Scott questioned quietly gauging his lover’s responses.

“No,” Logan sighed reaching for the bottle again. He stretched his arm out across the table, collecting Scott’s glass in his fingers. With a small nod from Scott, Logan guided the crystal across the table’s wooden expanse and silently refilled their glasses before offering it to Scott once again, “I wasn’t aware of any of that.”

“Then why did you give it to me?” Scott asked curiously.

“Because you needed to try to sleep,” Logan confessed with concern evident in his tone, “You don’t do that much these days.”

“There’s a lot to keep me awake at night,” Scott hesitated in reaching for the glass before him. He paused tracing his index finger over the rim of the crystallized glass. A few seconds later he lifted it to his lips simply enveloping himself in the aroma before questioning Logan further, “Did your other Scott…did he lose a lot of sleep in his life?”

“More so after he and I ended up together,” Logan’s naughty smirk teased over his lips before the flintiness faded from his tone, “He held a considerable amount of weight upon his shoulders without revealing it to the world around him. He spent a lot of time trying to go it on his own instead of letting anyone inside and…”

“You think I’m doing the same thing,” Scott finished for him. He guided the glass to his lips and took a long swig of its contents.

“I know you’re undoubtedly considering doing the same thing,” Logan admitted leaning back further in his seat, “but I’m hoping we can work on changing that up a bit. Perhaps try something new.”

“By letting you inside?” Scott arched a curious brow watching as Logan swallowed down his whiskey.

“We’ve already come this far,” Logan set his glass down on the tabletop, “What else do we have to lose at this point?”

“Everything,” Scott sighed swallowing down the rest of his drink. He cleared his throat allowing the burn to roll down the back of his throat before looking to Logan again, “I’m not really sure how to let someone inside Logan.”

“I’m aware,” Logan reached out across the table to place his hand over Scott’s, “but we’re off to a good start on this, aren’t we?”

“Most people start with sharing hopes and dreams, not confessions that they are hosting a dangerous cosmic entity,” Scott looked down to their fingers interlaced.

“Most people are boring,” Logan’s index finger swept over the top of Scott’s palm in a lighthearted attempt to set Scott at ease, “but who needs that?”

“Certainly not us,” Scott angled his head to the side seeing the warmth spread over Logan’s features, “If we were forced to face the mundane, then I fear we’d be lost in boredom just like all the others.”

“I don’t know,” Logan’s finger swept over the curve between Scott’s thumb and index finger, “I could see us settling down in a place like this—sharing a life together away from the rest of the world.”

“This place is not at all what I envision when I think about settling down,” Scott wrinkled his nose when his thoughts of the estate overtook him.

“Not the main house, but something like this,” Logan shook his head dismissively, “Something simple…maybe on the water where we could escape for a while.”

“And what would we do in our ‘great escape’?” Scott leaned in closer across the table indulging the fantasy for a few seconds.

“We’d share meals like this and make love in the moonlight,” Logan mused curling her fingers over the top of Scott’s palm, “Underneath the stars we’d hold each other.”

“For the rest of our lives?” Scott questioned with amusement in his tone, “Eating and making love?”

“There’d be drinking as well,” Logan added teasingly.

“So, we’d be inebriated, satiated and making love underneath the stars each day,” Scott countered with a laugh, “That’s quite a challenge you set out before us Logan. I don’t know if I’d be able to live up to those kinds of expectations.”

“Tell me that you wouldn’t be interested in giving it a go,” Logan wiggled his brow suggestively, “So far I think we’ve shown that we’re headed down the right path on that one with…”

“What about our normal day to day life? How would we survive?” Scott indulged Logan’s fantasy a bit longer, “Even if we found this special place, what would we do in our down time?”

“Who says that we’d have down time?” Logan countered only to receive a pointed expression from Scott, “I don’t know…maybe I’d try my hand at carpentry again and you could…you could be a pilot I suppose.”

“A pilot,” Scott repeated taking in his lover’s words, “which would undoubtedly have me spending long hours away from home…”

“…which wouldn’t work at all,” Logan decided with a frown, “We’d have to come up with something better. Maybe you could be my assistant.”

“In your carpentry business?” Scott arched a speculative brow, “What could I possibly bring to the table?”

“Plenty of eye candy,” Logan teased him further, “and maybe a helping hand as you are good at picking up new things Slim. I don’t doubt for a second that you’d be one for working with your hands. You could free your mind long enough…”

“To carve a table just like this one where we could spend our days preparing meals, enjoying your cooking and making love,” Scott’s fingers eased over the smooth surface, paying special attention to the intricate grooves carved into the edge of the strong, solid wood before him.

“All on the table,” Logan laughed lightly, “My you are feeling ambitious.”

“Perhaps it’s the alcohol getting to my head,” Scott shrugged his shoulders.

“In that case,” Logan decided sliding his glass across the tabletop, “How about we do something to burn some of that off?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Something special perhaps?” Logan suggested with a playful wink.

“I was only half kidding about making love on the tabletop,” Scott clarified seeing the spark of mischief in Logan’s eyes.

“I’m only half kidding in saying that I’m not considering it,” Logan countered rising to his feet. He moved across the patio to return to the record player. With careful movements, he reached for the vinyl record and flipped it over on the player before setting the needle upon it once again. Standing upright, he turned around to face Scott with a smiling face as the jazz music carried over the night between them again.

“This is nice,” Scott smiled leaning back in his seat and watching Logan’s return to the table, “How did you know that this album was my favorite?”

“I know a lot of things about you Slim,” Logan extended his hand out to Scott, allowing the subtle, sultry beats of the song to guide his actions, “What do you say? Can I have this dance?”

“Right now?” Scott questioned unable to mask his surprise in Logan’s request.

“What?” Logan teased stretching his hand out further, “Don’t you dance Slim?”

“I do, but you usually don’t,” Scott answered readily accepting Logan’s hand. Within seconds he was up and out of his seat, pressed in tightly against Logan’s chest in a slow, glide around the open space beyond the table. With one hand on Logan’s shoulder and the other positioned over the center of Logan’s chest, Scott felt Logan’s arms surround him. The mellow, smooth melody poured out of the player into the night, spilling the mood over them as Logan twirled Scott in his arms.

“I told you I’m full of surprises,” Logan boasted dipping Scott in his arms before pulling him up into an embrace.

“How did you know that I love jazz?” Scott asked sliding his arms around Logan’s shoulders to draw him in nearer.

“In my old life we used music history lessons to find an excuse make love to the music in your room at the school,” Logan confessed squeezing his arms around Scott tighter than before.

“And that did it for you?” Scott questioned lazily stroking his fingers over the back of Logan’s neck to savor the warmth beneath his touch, “A little jazz stoked the flames of desire?”

“It did for you,” Logan replied pressing a kiss over Scott’s shoulder, “It was all you needed to get in the mood and…”

“It takes a little bit more than jazz to make me come undone now Logan,” Scott assured him as the seductive melody worked its way into his system causing him to sway and move with fluid ease in Logan’s arms.

“I wasn’t looking to seduce you Slim,” Logan slurred humming along to the music as the song grew and expanded rising in its beat along the way. With each small step and subtle turn that they made their movements picked up with the song bringing them closer together.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Scott teased whispering warmth over the side of Logan’s neck.

“I highly doubt that one,” Logan pulled back searching Scott’s features once again, “You’re a tough man to trick.”

“You’d be surprised at how easy that is in the right setting,” Scott sighed wearily when Logan’s arms surrounded him fully, “I’d like to think I have good sense about me, but…”

“Just because some things didn’t work out doesn’t mean you should throw in the towel.”

“Who said I was throwing in the towel?” Scott questioned watching Logan closely.

“I was just saying,” Logan angled his head again to ease in closer to Scott’s ear, “It’s okay to keep your guard up, but don’t let yourself be jaded.”

“I’m not jaded.”

“No, not always,” Logan’s words slurred over the side of Scott’s neck causing goosebumps to form over his flesh, “but at the same time…you’re still fighting to let loose in all of this. You’re still struggling for control and…”

“That’s not it at all. Logan I’m just…” Scott’s words fell to silence when Logan’s lips hovered against his, a mere breath away leaving them close, but still far enough apart for Scott to ache for completion.

“You’re not in control here Slim,” Logan whispered causing warmth to spread out over Scott’s lips, spilling into him as Scott’s mouth opened wider than before.

“I didn’t anticipate I was,” Scott confessed arching in closer to Logan, “Nothing about being with you has me feeling like I’m in control.”

“So then stop fighting against it,” Logan spoke up suggestively brushing the tip of his nose against Scott’s, “Give in to it.”

“You have no idea how dangerous that is,” Scott divulged skimming the plump center of his bottom lip over Logan’s, “Knowing how readily I could fall into your arms…into your bed…”

“Would it ease the pain you’ve been experiencing?” Logan questioned earnestly. His lips barely touched Scott’s as he spoke up in a solemn whisper, “Would it help if I lifted the restrictions on our physical connection long enough for us to…?”

“I don’t want to fuck you Logan,” Scott sighed against his touch, turning his cheek in favor of pressing his head on Logan’s shoulder, “not anymore.”

“I don’t want to fuck you either,” Logan revealed squeezing his arm more tightly around Scott. When the song changed around them returning to a somber, aching melody they continued to sway together bodies in perfect alignment as Logan’s fingertips teased over the small of Scott’s spine, “I want to love you Slim.”

“I want to be loved by you,” Scott confessed openly finding the words escaping him with the heat of Logan surrounding him, enveloping him in his welcoming warmth.

“I do love you,” Logan promised kissing his shoulder.

“You love him,” Scott pinched his eyes closed behind his glasses in a struggle to hold back in the emotion his words carried with them, “He’s the one that you’re in love with. He’s the one you’re dreaming about and…”

“No,” Logan argued reaching out to stroke the side of Scott’s face. Tenderly his fingertips traced over Scott’s heated skin. With a soft curl and a tender press, Logan coaxed Scott to look at him again before he spoke up behind a desire-laced tone, “I loved him yes, but he’s not on my mind. He’s not the one I’m thinking about tonight.”

“But the music…with what you said about the jazz…” Scott began to argue against Logan’s impending words of devotion towards him.

“I knew that it was an excuse for me to get my arms around you—to hold you like this,” Logan continued to sway with Scott long after the music ended and the record had reached its completion, “I played this tonight simply because I knew that you enjoyed it.”

“Because of him,” Scott clarified with a heavy heart in knowing he was far from being worthy of Logan’s devotion.

“No, it was because I knew that you appreciate it,” Logan challenged forcing Scott to hear his words, “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You aren’t,” Scott sighed hugging Logan closer to him.

“Then why fight it? Why continue to doubt my feelings for you?” Logan whispered gruffly into the vulnerable patch of skin behind Scott’s earlobe.

“Because you’re only experiencing them because of what you felt for him,” Scott argued. His insecurities plagued at him, twisting his thoughts and actions with Logan’s arms around him. His self-doubt was bolstering with each passing second, yet Logan’s arms around him never waivered in their strong grip.

“I felt a lot for him. I won’t deny that he was once my everything, but that holds no relevance to what’s happening here. He was special to me, but you’re the one in my thoughts Slim. You’re the one in my arms, in my mind making me want to experience so much more than I’d ever allowed myself to feel before,” Logan’s arm constricted around Scott hoping to convey the depth of his words in his touch. He deposited a faint, gentle kiss against Scott’s neck allowing his lips to linger when he spoke up in a low, raspy tone, “Do you want to know the first moment I realized that I was truly in love with you?”

“Let me guess,” Scott replied with a painstaking laugh. Closing his eyes Scott took in the scent Logan carried with him, so close and welcoming, pressed up against Scott’s body in a hard, demanding grip. There was something strong and steely about his touch, yet gentle and restrained with Logan’s arms surrounding him, “It was the moment you saw me wearing his face outside of Charles’ office.”

“No,” Logan shook his head into Scott’s shoulder dismissively, “not quite. I mean yes I was taken by surprise with you standing there, but no…the first time I knew it was real was that moment back in the warehouse when you had my heart in your hands.”

“Logan,” Scott hesitated to hold onto his breath as Logan’s fingers swept over his cheek.

“When I was laying there on the ground bleeding out and thinking that those moments were my last, I realized that there was no place in any world I’d rather be than at your side,” Logan divulged solemnly, “As I faced the thought of my own mortality, there was a part of me that finally realized that fate was giving me all I’d been asking for in the years I faced without him. It was telling me that after so much misery and pain that I’d finally be free to find him again, but it was there in your arms that I knew that I didn’t want that anymore.”

“Logan?” Scott’s lower lip trembled with the weight of Logan’s words carrying over him.

“When you were there beside me holding on so tight, I knew that I didn’t want to leave,” Logan continued in an impassioned tone as his thumb brushed over Scott’s plump, bottom lip, tracing the contours of his mouth in his confession, “and not because you reminded me of him. Not because you had his face or because of some other bullshit that we could pretend was happening there. In that moment, I knew that I never wanted to leave your side Slim because I realized that there was nowhere else that I would rather be than with you.”

“Logan I…” Scott’s words spilled out in a quivering exhale.

“When you kissed me it only sealed the deal for me,” Logan thumb teased over Scott’s lip once again before falling away in favor of hugging Scott in closer to his chest, “You’re it for me Slim. You’re the one.”

“You say that now, but given the chance to return to the life you knew before I would imagine that you would readily…” Scott struggled to get the words out only to have Logan curl his fingers in underneath his chin for force Scott to hear what he was saying.

“I had the chance Slim, but I wanted you—only you. I knew after we kissed that anything I’d ever felt in the old world paled in comparison to the way I felt lost in your arms sharing my last breaths with you,” Logan continued in an impassioned tone when the magic of the night surrounded them, drawing them closer together in their tender confessions, “Instead of bringing me the peace in facing the end of it all, I wanted nothing more than to hold onto you—to be at your side for as long as fate allowed because it was in your touch—with your lips pressed to mine that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that you’re the one for me Slim. You’ve always been the one.”

“That was undoubtedly the blood loss getting to your head when…” Scott tried to dispel Logan’s words only to feel the warmth of Logan’s breath cascading over his.

“Damnit Slim, stop fighting this. This is the real thing I promise you,” Logan whispered stroking the side of Scott’s face, coaxing Scott to meet his words with the same vulnerability and openness that Logan had shared with him.

“I know,” Scott finally blurted out giving in to the thoughts that had weighed in upon him in their exchanges, “and that’s what terrifies me.”

“Letting go?”

“No,” Scott shook his head firmly when he found himself choked up on the one truth that he’d fought like hell to repress, “losing you again. I don’t think I could face that.”

“You won’t lose me,” Logan promised caging Scott in his embrace.

“How can you be so sure?” Scott questioned bringing his hand up to tentatively brush over the center of Logan’s chest in remembering how close they’d come to losing it all only a short while earlier.

“Because I don’t plan on going anywhere ever again. I’m all yours from here until the end of time,” Logan vowed dipping down and kissing Scott. At first his lips were soft and tender, his words spreading an altogether different kind of warmth over Scott’s body as their mouths collided, fused together in an unspoken understanding that went beyond their actions. Instead with the moon up above and the promise of something more between them, Scott returned the kiss giving in to the temptation of knowing that everything he’d fought like hell to find in his life was right beside him caught up in the arms of the man who’d shaken up his world in more ways than he’d ever dreamt possible.

* * *


	31. Suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after their first date, Scott and Logan share an intimate morning with one another only to be met by a new point of contention between them. Will Scott's suspicion prove worth investigating or will it cause a rift between them?

**Suspicion:** a feeling or thought that something is possible, likely, or true.

The warmth of sunlight filtered into the tiny farmhouse bedroom causing Scott to curl into the heat of the hard body beside him. Smiling to himself he extended his fingers over the center of the strong, solid chest reveling in the warmth beside him. It all felt so serene as he held onto Logan long after their night of drinking and dancing had gotten the best of them. Snuggling in closer, Scott traced his fingers over Logan’s bare chest remembering the way that their kisses had escalated underneath the moonlight, growing with the swaying of their bodies together lost in a silent melody between them long after the music had ended.

_“I love you Slim,”_ Logan’s words echoed in the back of Scott’s mind, causing Scott to curve his groin into Logan’s thigh caught up in the heat of their connection. With a shift of Logan’s hips and a tight grip of his hand over Scott’s waist, Logan dragged Scott over him more completely drawing emphasis to the fact that they were pressed together in the center of the moderately sized bed with one another naked and connected beneath the thin cotton sheet.

“Good morning,” Logan’s words alerted Scott to the fact that his lover was awake as well basking in the ease that the morning had brought upon them, “Sleep well?”

“Better than I have in years,” Scott confessed massaging the warm planes of Logan’s chest, “Sorry about falling asleep on you like I did once we got back in here.”

“I didn’t have any end of the night expectations,” Logan gently caressed the curve of Scott’s spine, allowing his touch to linger as he pressed a kiss over the top of Scott’s head, “I just wanted you to enjoy the night.”

“I did immensely,” Scott practically purred twisting enough to place a kiss over the center of Logan’s chest, “probably too much.”

“I highly doubt that,” Logan squeezed his arm around Scott’s waist again, “Although it was a change to watch you sleep through the night for once.”

“You make a good pillow,” Scott teased pressing a kiss over the center of Logan’s chest, “I know that we kind of stumbled into bed last night and…”

“It was nice,” Logan finished for him.

“It was,” Scott agreed as they fell into a comfortable silence again.

Closing his eyes, Scott remembered the way he and Logan had sloppily pulled together the dinner dishes off the table before bringing them back into the kitchen. Together they’d dumped them into the sink before resuming in another round of urgent kissing, clumsily making their way to the bedroom again and leaving their clothing in a trail throughout the farmhouse until finally they’d come together naked and ready to cuddle up in one another’s arms. That thought had initially puzzled Scott given that naked and kissing generally led to sex for the both of them, but with the buzz of the meal upon them it simply lent to something intimate and comforting as they’d shared the night with one another. The feel of Logan’s skin to Scott’s had soothed him in ways he hadn’t anticipated when he’d felt the first pull of exhaustion over him. It was enough to draw him into the temptation of sleep and the promise of a new morning. Now as they pressed to one another preparing to face the day upon them, Scott found himself reluctant to let go.

“Any big plans for the day?” Logan questioned lazily tracing a circular pattern over Scott’s spine.

“Um…truth be told I was thinking about going back into the computer room to see what I could dig up on Markus,” Scott decided remembering his plans for the previous evening before he’d been swept away by Logan’s romantic overture and tempting culinary display, “Of course if you need help with the cleanup from last night…”

“No worries. I’ve got it covered,” Logan assured him with a squeeze of his strong, solid bicep around Scott’s waist, “I’ve kept you from your research long enough and…”

“A few more minutes won’t hurt me,” Scott offered up wondering if his sense of duty was prompting him to offer himself to aid Logan or the nearness of the man beside him was simply motivation enough to stall on the mission he’d buried himself in up until this point.

“No, it wouldn’t,” Logan agreed lazily sweeping a loose, dark strand of hair from Scott’s forehead, “but at the same time I know how important your research is to you Slim.”

“That doesn’t mean that I can’t take a little time to thank you by helping you clean up after all you did,” Scott began considering the mess that Logan still had to face after their night together, “I can help you do dishes and…”

“Go downstairs,” Logan instructed placing a kiss on top of Scott’s head, “Learn everything you need to for us to get rid of Markus once and for all. While you do that, I’ll make some breakfast and then head on down to check your progress.”

“I don’t know what I’ll find or what exactly it is that I’m looking for,” Scott confessed surrounded by contemplations of the impact Markus had made in their lives. Feeling Logan’s fingers press gently upon his skin, Scott couldn’t help, but find himself focusing on his lover against him, “or how good company I will be given that I get kind of lost in my work and…”

“Do what you need to do Slim. I’ll make us a meal, bring it to you and if I prove to be a distraction, then I’ll find something else to keep busy with,” Logan shrugged shaking his head against the pillow he was laying on, “It’s not like I can’t find plenty to do around here while you’re working.”

“You’re always a distraction,” Scott decided rolling fully onto Logan’s chest. He pressed his elbows down on the mattress on both sides of Logan, forcing himself to memorize the warmth of the man beneath him. Pushing himself up just enough to gaze upon his lover’s lazy smirk, Scott found himself savoring the heat that resonated from Logan’s body. Brazenly he dipped down to kiss Logan finding himself lost in sensation with Logan’s arms around him.

“Likewise,” Logan promised in between tiny nibbles and flicks of his tongue. His arms surrounded Scott’s lean contours with thick fingers traveling down to squeeze over Scott’s bare bottom. The steady grip caused Scott to deepen the kiss, to shift over Logan with an entirely different intent before their kiss expired.

“I really should get to work on the computer before Norm changes his mind and revokes our access to the information,” Scott sighed pushing himself up on his elbows. He swallowed down hard, licking his lips when Logan’s grin expanded.

“I’m not stopping you,” Logan relented dropping his arms down onto the fitted sheet again. With a wry grin Logan settled in over the pillow. Raising his arms up over his head in his best attempt at being casual beneath Scott’s naked, wiggling form he let out a small laugh, “You do what you have to do and I…”

“Will stay here looking all sexy sprawled out on the bed like this?” Scott questioned naughtily pushing his thigh between Logan’s to elicit a reaction out of his lover.

“I have dishes to clean,” Logan reminded Scott with a small laugh, “Remember?”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Scott’s thigh mischievously skimmed up higher between Logan’s legs, “but at the same time…”

“You’ve got energy to burn this morning,” Logan finished pulling his hands away from the plush pillow and securely gripping at Scott’s waist to flip him onto the mattress. With lightning quick reflexes Logan sprung up over Scott, pinning him down before Scott could steal the rationality from his lover, “You’re dangerous.”

“You already knew that before we entered into this,” Scott arched up off the bed. Nipping at Logan’s mouth, he claimed Logan’s lips in a kiss before settling in over the pillow Logan was once laying upon.

“True,” Logan murmured against Scott’s mouth. His hands pushed up over Scott’s torso, gliding up over Scott’s arms in a slow, predatory slide until Logan had Scott’s wrists pinned down to the pillow beneath his head, “but the longer we stay in bed, the less likely it will be for us to accomplish your goals today.”

“I know,” Scott sighed realizing that Logan was offering him an out to their naughty game with one another, “but at the same time…”

“Give me some time tonight?” Logan half questioned. He squeezed at Scott’s wrists again commanding Scott’s focus, “Once you get some work done and I fix the disaster in the kitchen, then maybe we can take a little time out together.”

“For another dinner?” Scott arched an inquisitive brow.

“Among other things,” Logan whispered with words buzzing over Scott’s lips, “What do you say?”

“I think I’ll need to hear more about this proposal considering that we’ve both been very well behaved up until this point,” Scott mouthed angling his head again to accept another kiss from Logan, “Given that we spent the entire night in bed together naked and…”

“On our best behavior,” Logan noted with a wistful expression on his face, “It took a considerable amount of restraint last night on my part.”

“Mine too,” Scott paused considering his words, “Granted I was exhausted, but…”

“We were tempting fate in doing this,” Logan breathed into him.

“Yet somehow we passed the test,” Scott pushed his hips up off the bed to rub his lower body against Logan’s suggestively.

“We won’t continue to do so if you keep doing that,” Logan pressed Scott’s wrists further into the pillow, “If you keep teasing me, then I’m going to do something we’d both regret.”

“Would we though?” Scott challenged with a suggestive wiggle of his brow.

“You want to get research done,” Logan reminded him. Once again, the infusion of reality set Scott’s libido on the backburner.

“You’re right,” Scott nodded, “That needs to come first considering that…”

“We can get back to this later tonight,” Logan promised kissing him tenderly, “and if you’re willing, then I promise I won’t say no if you ask.”

“Ask?” Scott repeated tilting his head to catch the expression on Logan’s face.

“That is if you’re ready,” Logan released Scott’s wrists opting instead to roll onto his side of the bed, “I know that last night was a lot to take in for the both of us, but…”

“No, that’s not it,” Scott turned onto his side to face Logan. Instinctively he draped his leg around Logan’s hips keeping Logan in position on the bed beside him, “I mean yes, we went through a whole hell of a lot of topics in a short time, but…for what it’s worth…”

“Yes?” Logan questioned when Scott’s fingers teased over his abdomen.

“I think if you’re feeling up to it,” Scott admitted with a moment of consideration overtaking him, “I’d like to make love tonight.”

“You would?” Logan’s eyes widened with surprise.

Scott nodded, “I think so.”

“You think so or you’re sure?” Logan asked scrutinizing Scott’s features.

“I’m sure,” Scott blurted out without a second thought, “Don’t get me wrong I know that we talked about taking it slow, but I mean with last night…”

“I didn’t say those things to push you Slim,” Logan reached out to touch the side of his face.

“I’m aware,” Scott assured him, “and after last night, well, you gave me plenty to think about. I know that this has been a rough ride for the both of us, but I think I’d really like to take the time to get to know one another.”

“We’re doing that now,” Logan promised quietly.

“We are,” Scott agreed drawing a heart pattern over the center of Logan’s chest, “but I’d like to know each other on an entirely different level.”

“We’ve been physical before Slim,” Logan pointed out.

“I know,” Scott replied with a sigh. He flattened his fingers out over Logan’s chest, gently pressing them down a path over his abdomen, “but we’ve never really taken the time to be truly intimate about it. We’ve given in to release, but tonight I think I want to take my time learning what turns you on, what feels good for the both of us and…”

“So, we’re really going to do this?” Logan questioned with eyes homing in on Scott’s parted lips.

“I think so,” Scott decided leaning in to deposit a kiss upon Logan’s shoulder, “I want to make love.”

“Me too,” Logan let out a relieved sigh before considering his response, “but if you change your mind…”

“I won’t,” Scott’s fingertips teased down to Logan’s naval lightly circling the rim of it before sliding down over the coarse patch of dark hair just above the base of Logan’s manhood. With a light, gentle press, he rubbed a slow, tantalizing pattern over the sensitive skin causing Logan to react to the touch.

“Slim,” Logan warned reaching down to capture Scott’s wrist in his fingers. Swiftly he pulled Scott’s arm up and away from his body opting instead to press a kiss over Scott’s pulse point over his wrist, “save it for tonight.”

“Fair enough,” Scott agreed leaning in to drop a small kiss over Logan’s forehead before switching his tone to fit the new plans ahead of them, “Are you sure you don’t need help with dishes?”

“If I do, I’ll know where to find you, Plus, I have a few plans for the day I’d like to work on to ensure that the perimeter is secure on the property itself,” Logan answered readily as Scott found himself facing the idea of a morning of research.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Scott agreed moving over to his side of the bed. He sat upright stretching his arms out high above his head before looking over his shoulder at Logan, “You want to take the shower first?”

“You’d better take it,” Logan reached out to touch Scott’s elbow in a safe yet suggestive gesture, “I might need a few minutes to collect my thoughts and…”

“You sure you don’t want to go first?” Scott asked leaning back to stretch out over Logan’s abdomen. In his position, Logan wrapped his arm around Scott’s waist knowing full well that they were finding excuses to savor their time together a bit longer, “We could always share if you’d rather…”

“Not today,” Logan sighed constricting his arm around Scott’s slender frame, “It’s going to take everything inside of me not to jerk off after you walk out of here.”

“Is that right,” Scott curved his arm, bringing his hand up over Logan’s thigh again, “because I could help you with that if…”

“I think I can find a way to deal with it,” Logan curled his fingers with Scott’s. Carefully interlacing their hands together, Logan held on as Scott revealed a teasing grin.

“You sure? I’ve been told I’m quite good with my hands.” Scott practically choked down on the laughter in knowing he’d sparked a reaction in Logan.

“Get out of here before you force me to take drastic actions,” Logan warned with a mock snarl.

“Such as?” Scott questioned lazily squeezing at Logan’s fingers.

“Put it this way if you don’t leave in the next thirty seconds, I’m going to rip these sheets to shreds, use them to tie you down to the bedpost and then spend the rest of the day edging you until you beg for release,” Logan warned with a predatory snarl keeping Scott close to him with the curl of his arm.

“And then?” Scott lazily questioned.

“Then,” Logan paused drawing heavy emphasis to the animalistic undertones in his words, “Once you find yourself at your breaking point, I’ll stop and repeat the process again and again until you’re reduced to nothing more than an involuntary orgasm unable to maintain any inkling of control.”

“Hmm…with fighting words like that I don’t know if I want to walk away just yet,” Scott licked his lips as the idea swirled around in the back of his mind, “Is it wrong to say that thought turns me on?”

“Not in the least,” Logan’s fingers of his free hand pinched at Scott’s nipple in a sharp warning, “but you have some intel to brush up on and I have to see if I can salvage some of the pots that were overworked last night.”

“Fair enough,” Scott reluctantly agreed letting out a long, frustrated breath, “but with that fantasy…can we put it on reserve?”

“Absolutely,” Logan promised smoothing his fingers over Scott’s smooth, practically hairless chest, “but not for tonight, okay? Tonight, let’s make it something special for our first time exploring the idea of...”

“Making love?” Scott finished with a wistful expression on his face.

“Making love,” Logan repeated touching the side of Scott’s face. There was something in the air between them, in the warmth of their connection that caused goosebumps to form on his flesh.

“It’s a date,” Scott nodded coiling his free hand around to grip at Logan’s fingers. Closing his eyes, he couldn’t help, but smile realizing that they undoubtedly looked ridiculous on the center of the bed as a mass of tangled limbs and awkward angled touches, but everything felt divine. The heat of Logan soothed him in ways that he’d once believed only sex could accomplish, but now in sharing their body heat in their inelegantly aligned forms Scott felt soothed and refreshed. It was as if the skin to skin contact was the key to putting Scott at ease in ways that he’d never considered before their night together.

“I look forward to it,” Logan added squeezing at Scott’s fingers, “Now go get that perfect ass of yours into the shower.”

“Fine,” Scott grudgingly replied with laughter, “but don’t think for a second that my agreeing to walk away gives you an excuse not to gawk at my perfect ass when I walk out of here.”

“Trust me I’ll be completely fixated on it,” Logan promised with laughter before Scott reluctantly detangled himself from Logan’s arms. He sat upright on the bed again considering where his things were, but instead of seeking out his clothing, he’d merely stood up and moved over towards the door. Pausing dramatically Scott looked over his shoulder noticing that Logan had rolled onto his stomach. His head was propped up on his palms with his elbow buried in the mattress. His legs were up in the air, crossed and sliding back and forth towards his bottom when Scott shook his head and laughed.

“You’re something else,” Scott teased with a wrinkled expression on his face.

“And proud of it,” Logan offered up with a wide grin, “Have a good shower Slim.”

“Yeah, you too when you finally get out of bed,” Scott decided taking one last second to savor the image of Logan on the bed watching him with love and desire in their quiet start to the day. Shaking his head, Scott forced himself to walk away knowing full well that he would have to get his focus back if he hoped to make any ground in beating Markus at his own game. He could hear the faint rustling of the blankets after he’d walked out of the room headed to the bathroom. He hesitated for a moment imagining Logan sprawled out over the bed, partially aroused and thinking about the night ahead of them. The thought was enough of a distraction for Scott to consider returning to the bedroom. However, when he found himself considering all that had led up to that moment in time with the threat of Markus lingering upon them, he forced himself to walk away knowing full well that last thing either one of them could do was afford to be taken by surprise.

* * *

  
  


Wiping at the kitchen counter one last time, Logan snapped the damp dishrag up and over the sink. He rinsed it off, squeezing his fingers around the mesh material to drain the excess water before carefully placing it over the dishpan. Leaning against the freshly cleaned counter to admire his work, Logan folded his arms in front of his chest knowing only too well that the day had been picking up for him. With a grin, he thought back to how he’d finally gotten out of bed and showered before making a breakfast for him and Scott. He’d taken it down to the basement for them to share. They’d exchanged a few words with one another about Scott’s research as well before Logan moved across the estate taking his time to make sure that the property’s entry points were secured. He’d double checked each one of them before finally tackling the pile of dishes that he’d created for himself the previous evening.

“It looks amazing if I do say so myself,” Logan chortled with laughter knowing that his hard work had seemingly paid off in more ways than one. His gaze swept over the kitchen finding it just as immaculate as it had been before their arrival after he’d finished his clean up. The plates were back in the cabinets, the counters sparking clean and the sink now emptied of all the sticky, caked on remnants of their meal. Now all that was left to do was return to Scott and his research to see if Scott had covered enough ground before Logan’s evening surprise.

“Now for a snack,” Logan decided turning around to open the refrigerator door. With a quick movement he pulled out an oversized bowl of mixed fruit and two bottles of beer.

“It’s five o’clock somewhere,” Logan chuckled using his hip to bump the refrigerator door shut before he maneuvered his way to the open linen closet door.

Heading down the steps, Logan discovered Scott seated in front of the computer much as he’d been when Logan had left him alone earlier in the morning. Now, Scott was focused entirely on the screen before him buried in his research. The ironclad concentration that had guided Scott on missions radiated in the room around him as he was leaned forward scrutinizing the screen before him. He appeared to be in deep thought as Logan moved forward preparing to say something witty or maybe even flirty to break the ice between them and pull Scott from his explorations.   
  
Smiling, Logan opened his mouth to say the suggestive words practically rolling over his lips when Logan took a good, hard look at the images Scott was scrutinizing on the screen before him, “Slim?”

“Logan,” Scott gasped practically leapt out of the oversized computer chair, doing his best to cover up his research, but even in lowering the tab, they both knew that damage had already been done. Still Scott attempted to recover from his initial surprise at Logan’s arrival when he cleared his throat. His hand pushed up over the back of his neck, rubbing in the spot just over his shoulders before Scott spun around to face Logan with a guilty expression on his face.

“What are you doing Slim?” Logan frowned moving in closer to the computer station. He set the plate of fruit down on the edge of the oversized dark colored desk, unable to contain the agitation that carried over him in seeing where Scott’s explorations had taken him.

“Research,” Scott cleared his throat all the while lowering his chin and averting his eyes to the floor. He cleared his throat again and nodded over to the plate that Logan had deposited beside him, “What’s this?”

“A fruit salad of sorts with oranges, cranberries and apples,” Logan stated plainly. He folded his arms in front of his chest unable to mask his distain before glaring down at his lover, “I thought you were looking further into Markus and his history.”

“I was, but then…” Scott swallowed down hard. He swiveled in the chair doing nothing to mask his uneasiness when Logan tapped his foot on the solid flooring beneath him.

“You decided to go in a new direction?” Logan grumbled shaking his head at his lover, “I thought you and I were on the level with this one Slim.”

“We are,” Scott attempted to defend his actions. He raised his chin up to meet Logan’s agitated eyes with defiance in his voice, “I was just…”

“Looking into Norm instead of building intel on Markus,” Logan nodded towards the screen again knowing full well that his lover’s curiosities were taking them down a far different road than the one he’d anticipated when their quest began, “There’s nothing to find here Scott…”

“There’s a lot to discover Logan and the sooner you open up your eyes to that, the easier all of this will be,” Scott sat up straighter giving up on the façade in pretending he wasn’t caught in the act of researching Logan’s old friend. With a sigh he maximized the tab he’d been perusing when Logan walked in upon him, “You made Norm sound like a national hero, but you didn’t tell me that Norm was attached to one of the top pharmaceutical companies in the world…”

“Yeah,” Logan shrugged with a grumble. Folding his arms in front of his chest he continued to tape his foot on the flooring impatiently, “what of it?”

“It’s huge,” Scott pointed to the screen before him once again.

“I guess if you are into that sort of thing,” Logan shrugged his broad shoulders, “His family was in the medical field long before he was around. I told you that he was wrapped up in all of that already…”

“Yes, but you failed to mention that before he was in medical school that Norm was a chemistry major with a strong background in biology that didn’t go unrecognized by his future employers considering that…” Scott clicked at a few keys before another tab popped up revealing an identification badge of Norm’s on the screen before them.

“We were in war together Slim, not college,” Logan reminded him with a shake of his head, “What he did before the war…”

“Was interesting enough to have him move quickly through the ranks in the military long before you two met in Vietnam. You said that he was drafted around the time you arrived, but according to what I’ve read the military and the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D. were interested in him long before he set foot on a battlefield,” Scott noted to the screen before him.

“His pop was grooming him to follow in his footsteps for a long time,” Logan mumbled with a frustrated breath, “Again, I told you that his family had a long line of medical researchers and…”

“You specifically said that he was interested in medicine,” Scott corrected with a disapproving frown, “You didn’t mention that pharmaceuticals were something that…”

“Go with medicine Slim,” Logan reiterated with another exaggerated breath, “They went hand in hand through the years. Norm’s father made some discoveries with cancer treatments and…”

“Yes, but if you look at this,” Scott’s brows tensed. He swiveled the chair again and pushed it in closer to the desk. Typing on the keys again another set of notations and images popped up on the screen when Logan stepped in closer to the screen. Before Logan on the oversized wall monitor was another image of Norm with Howard Stark arm in arm with one another. There was a headline citing that the two men had been working wonders in the lab together hoping to change the world around them.

“You know he worked with Howard,” Logan couldn’t help, but frown, “Yesterday we discussed that…”

“They had a falling out with one another is what you said, but what you failed to mention was what they did in their time they put in together with their work in biotech research,” Scott went to type on the keyboard again when Logan placed his hand over Scott’s shoulder, “If you take a look at this…”

“Slim stop,” Logan sighed squeezing his fingers over the firm, muscled flesh beneath his touch.

“You really should see this Logan. I’ve been going over some of the Stark Industries research notes that they worked on when Norm was working in accordance with Howard Stark and S.H.I.E.L.D. and…” Scott’s voice pressed on with urgency.

“This isn’t why we’re here Slim,” Logan’s frown intensified when he reached out to place a hand over Scott’s on top of the mouse. He squeezed at Scott’s fingers before offering up a small sigh, “We aren’t investigating Norm in his home no less.”

“Norm hasn’t been on the up and up with you from day one when he sought you out at that bar. We both know that chance meeting between the both of you wasn’t a random coincidence given the nature of his ‘problem’ Logan,” Scott tipped his head back to see the disapproval that swept over Logan’s features, “He was clearly seeking you out.”

“He had no way of knowing where to find me,” Logan argued with him, “That night when I drove off to the bar, I wasn’t certain where I was headed myself, but…”

“You’re a creature of habit Logan,” Scott insisted with a shake of his head, “Even without having to guess I could find you if I searched hard enough. Look how easy it was for me to track you down at the trials…”

“You were following me,” Logan reminded him with an impatient huff, “You were practically stalking me the night you made your way into the club and…”

“The point is that you aren’t a hard man to track down,” Scott’s voice rose with concern, “If someone wanted to know where you would be all they would have to do is follow you around for a few days and pay attention to your patterns and routines. They would simply have to hang back enough to ensure that you didn’t detect their presence and…”

“Are we talking about Norm or you here Slim?” Logan arched a contemplative brow, “Isn’t that how you made your way into this situation?”

“I was worried about you,” Scott defended his actions with a huff before motioning to the screen again.

“You could’ve just asked,” Logan spoke up with a casual brush of laughter teasing over his lips, “If you would’ve just tried talking to me…”

“The last time I’d spoken to you, you essentially told me to go fuck myself,” Scott pointed out drawing reference to the final exchange he and the other Logan had shared with one another, “If I’d known that you were…”

“What?” Logan questioned with an arched brow.

“You…” Scott bit down on his plump bottom lip before shaking his head with the thought, “If I’d known that you would’ve been approachable and open to conversation, then…”

“You still would have followed me,” Logan noted with an overwhelming sense of certainty. He folded his arms in front of his chest and leaned up against the wall adjacent to the computer system once again, “Admit it Scott you were too curious to simply just talk to me about what was happening.”

“I was concerned about your safety,” Scott rose up from his seat in an attempt to match Logan’s movement, “and with good reason.”

“And look what good it did for us,” Logan challenged taking a bold, determined step forward. His gaze was suddenly drawn to Scott’s lips thinking about their tender promises earlier in the morning to share the night together. Somehow with the beginnings of an argument between them, he was starting to question if that would be happening between them, “You decided to do what you do in taking on the world all on your own. You put your nose into a situation that you shouldn’t have been involved in to begin with and now here we are…”

“In the home of a man that we both know isn’t being straightforward with you about anything,” Scott challenged moving in closer to Logan. His lips were pinched together in a tight grimace, his jaw flexing with tension and perhaps a bit of jealousy when Logan felt something shift in the air between them.

“He was looking for his granddaughter Slim,” Logan reminded him simply. He stood firm in his position glaring at Scott when Scott shook his head with obvious distain.

“That’s bullshit and we both know that,” Scott huffed spinning on his heel. He marched over to the computer desk and took a hard drop into the seat again. Typing furiously on the keyboard before him, Scott was fueled by a new hunger for knowledge in his quest for the secrets that the files before him seemed to spell out.

“No, it isn’t Slim,” Logan softened his tone seeing the way that their conversation had soured any thoughts of a quiet evening before them. He could sense the rage spilling over Scott’s skin, pouring out into the small room between them when Logan took a reluctant step forward. Saying nothing, Logan leaned forward hovering over the back of the chair Scott was seated in. Reaching out, his shaky fingers squeezed over Scott’s again in an attempt to smooth over the waters between them when he couldn’t help, but notice the color that was rising in Scott’s features, “I told you that…”

“He gave you a cover story to work your emotions and get you on the inside just like Maria did with me that night she spotted me at the club,” Scott sighed looking down to Logan’s fingers over his, “They were both playing us from the start hoping to use our instincts and feelings against us in the name of…”

“What Slim?” Logan questioned softening his tone, “What the hell could Norm hope to accomplish in letting me know that his teenage granddaughter was missing?”

“He should’ve gone to the authorities not to his wartime friend that he randomly crossed paths with in a bar,” Scott shot back icily, “Just the setup in itself was…”

“Ill-timed, but that’s where a lot of these things happen,” Logan attempted to explain further, “When you find yourself on the verge of losing everything, a beer sounds like the perfect solution to forgetting all the shit you’re carrying around with you.”

“It still doesn’t explain why you and why that bar,” Scott’s skepticism revealed itself fully, “He could’ve asked anyone he worked with to look into the situation. With his level of clearance and his long list of important friends, he could’ve reached out to anyone, but he chose you. Why?”

“Because I was there when he was in need,” Logan answered readily, “We were both in a dark place and…”

“No,” Scott argued, “I don’t believe that. If he was actively seeking you out, why approach you there? Why not reach out in another way and…”

“Not everything that happens by chance is a ploy Slim. There are situations that…” Logan opened his mouth to explain.

“Not this one,” Scott twisted in his seat to look up at Logan again, “Not that night. This was a calculated step on his part meant to pull you into this project and…”

“Even if it was,” Logan shrugged, “what was the harm in it? He was worried about his granddaughter and…”

“You almost died. That’s the harm in it, Logan. Regardless of the history the two of you shared with one another, it’s clear that Norm wasn’t on the up and up with you,” Scott continued with determination causing his jaw to flex when Logan’s fingers pressed down over Scott’s shoulder in a light squeeze, “Once you agreed to take the mission, you weren’t thinking about his reasoning. You were simply attempting to help an old friend, but you weren’t considering Norm’s extensive background in biology and chemistry. His history with both S.H.I.E.L.D. and Stark Industries leads me to question if he was directly involved with…”

“Slim don’t,” Logan grumbled releasing Scott’s shoulder. Tension carried over his features when Logan released Scott opting instead to cross the room to place a distance between them., “Don’t do this.”

“Do what? Inform myself of what we might be up against given Norm’s newfound ‘generosity’ where we are concerned?” Scott questioned looking up over his shoulder at Logan once again, “Logan, your friend might be trying to convince you that he’s out to help us, but what do you really know about him?”

“I already told you that…”

“A lifetime ago the man helped you during a tough time in your life, but even you have to question if he’s the same man especially now in knowing what we do about the recent changes you’ve made in your life,” Scott continued in an impassioned tone when Logan recognized what Scott was alluding to in his words, “By providing you with the story about his granddaughter he was able to get inside your head and appeal to that compassionate side of you who wants to help those he cares for and…”

“Slim, I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to take the mission,” Logan clarified with a frown, “It’s not Norm’s fault that I didn’t weigh out all the consequences of taking on something this big without being more disciplined about what was needed. I already had knowledge about the Euphoria and its potential side effects going in. I knew there was a chance that it could mess my system up, but given the situation I felt it was worth the risk and…”

“Even so you had no idea that you could potentially be up there like that vulnerable and…” Scott opened his mouth to argue further.

“Markus is the real monster here Slim,” Logan reminded him.

“Perhaps, but with people like Norm at his side pushing things along further…” Scott interrupted refusing to back down on his end of the debate they were having.

“Norm’s not working with Markus,” Logan argued thinking about the man he’d known through the years, “I already told you that Markus was doing all of this long before any of us knew about him. Markus was a man of science and a genius before he died and…”

“You told me that he had a wealthy benefactor working to provide him with an alternative form of evolution after his disease was tearing him to pieces. That night at the hotel you and Maria said that Markus was a mere man once pulled away from this world by disease until the government took notice and a wealthy benefactor stepped in,” Scott attempted to reason with him, “With Norm’s wealth and background…”

“Even if Norm wanted to provide that kind of help for him Slim, he couldn’t afford it. Hell, I’m not even sure a man like Stark could provide all that someone like Markus needed to evolve past the point of his failing body,” Logan explained with a pensive expression on his face, “To completely become another person that goes beyond the limitations of humanity it would take far more money than one man could pull off. Even Tony Stark himself couldn’t accomplish such a feat now considering that…”

“If Tony wanted to, he could be more than capable of doing so. I think he’s proven with his research that he’s someone who could very easily…” Scott countered Logan’s argument.

“That’s Tony, not Howard,” Logan contended with a growing agitation in his voice, “At the time that Markus officially died, there was nothing even remotely close to that kind of technology available…”

“That we know of Logan,” Scott answered readily, “We can’t be naïve in believing that S.H.I.E.L.D. hasn’t been working on that kind of thing behind our backs. With the government trying to eradicate us like they’ve been doing and…”

“Even so,” Logan grumbled further, “As intelligent as Norm may be, he doesn’t have that capability to…”

“He’s more than capable Logan. If you would stop being naïve long enough to look at this particular research he’d been actively involved with at Stark Industries before…” Scott attempted to direct Logan’s attention to the computer again.

“Slim stop,” Logan cut him off abruptly, “I see what you’re doing here and it’s not helping.”

“I’m gaining intel about…”

“…someone I used to be in a relationship with,” Logan spat out with distain, “I get what’s happening here and…”

“No, I don’t think you do,” Scott argued springing up from the seat he was in, “I’m not wrong Logan!”

“Maybe you are,” Logan reasoned.

“Maybe I’m not,” Scott countered throwing his hands up in the air, “Logan, I get that you knew Norm a lifetime ago, but at the same time there have been changes all around you that…”

“Not Norm,” Logan insisted with a frown, “He’s a decent man Slim. I’m not saying that he hasn’t made major mistakes because we all have at this point. He’s not perfect by any means, but he’s always been good with me. He’s always been a stand-up guy where I was concerned.”

“With a shady history of being closely associated with S.H.I.E.L.D. and…”

“Slim stop! This isn’t going to make finding Markus any easier. You’re on the wrong track pushed there by my inability to make you feel at ease about someone who was something to me a lifetime ago,” Logan’s brow creased with tension.

“Logan, I’m just trying to…,” Scott began with a huff.

“Take yourself down a road that neither one of us needs to go on,” Logan stepped forward to close the gap between them. Desperately he reached for Scott’s hands taking them in his, “I understand that I put us in an awkward situation in coming here. At the time I didn’t think it would be a problem, but now I can see that it was a mistake. It was a bad decision on my part and…”

“It’s not being here that has me…” Scott insisted again.

“Yes, it is,” Logan decided lowering his voice. He looked around the computer room knowing only too well that their surroundings were anything, but comforting in their current situation with one another, “Being here is making us both paranoid in ways we shouldn’t be. Because of Markus neither one of us think that we can trust anything and…”

“Logan, you can’t deny that something about this feels off,” Scott motioned to the room around them, “With all the cameras and the security watch it just doesn’t seem like the safe house you were hoping for it to be when we got here. The more I think about it, the harder it is for me to feel like we’re truly off the grid here when…”

“That’s my fault,” Logan reached out to him once again, “I knew not to bring us into a situation where you could feel added pressure, but…”

“It’s not pressure, but like I said with the security cameras and…”

“I thought it was safe,” Logan apologized lowering his head when it was clear he’d put them in a place that hadn’t helped ease the tension that surrounded them, “I thought it would be reason enough to feel protected from Markus being out here on our own with the ability to detect any intruders on the property and…”

“As long as Markus is out there writing his own binary code and invading those shells he keeps on reserve, we’re never going to be safe. He can work his way into any system and…”

“What?” Logan questioned with a mocking tone, “Did you think he was going to slip into one of the barnyard animals and launch an attack on us that way?”

“Of course not,” Scott snapped in recoil at the atrocity of Logan’s words, “I was thinking that maybe in having us here we were like animals in a cage being watched and observed until the point where they could sneak in upon us and attack just like Markus tried to do at his warehouse.”

“Someone clued him into the fact that we were going to be there that night Slim. You said it yourself that…”

“Someone is dirty in the agency,” Scott answered readily knowing only too well that things back at the hospital weren’t on the up and up for them, “I’m well aware of that Logan, but given what I’ve seen on Norm, I can’t help, but question if he’s more of the problem, then being part of the solution. If he’s as sketchy as he seems to be on paper, then…”

“What?” Logan asked, “What do you think he would do? Do you believe that he’d somehow give Markus the keys to coming in here and catching us when our guard was down?”

“That thought had crossed my mind,” Scott nodded defiantly, “You’re too close to this to see that maybe just maybe my instincts aren’t wrong on this. If you could stop thinking about the man that you knew and start considering the man that you’re with right now…”

“Was that what you were hoping for?” Logan couldn’t help, but question when Scott’s words hit home inside of him, “That you would poke around into Norm’s life for a bit and it would be enough to draw him out? That somehow Norm would get enraged and he would coax Markus to come out of hiding from his point of observation to take us under?”

“The thought had crossed my mind,” Scott didn’t bother to deny it, “With Norm’s readiness to hand everything over to us without question and offer us a place to stay, it was natural to deduce that he was setting us up for a fall. He’s just putting the pieces in order…”

“Like you would?” Logan questioned breaking through Scott’s thoughts.

“What?”

“If you were in his position, would that be your strategy Slim?” Logan challenged taking a step back and glaring at his companion, “Would you set us up like sitting ducks hoping that Markus would take the bait you were dangling and come in to finish what he started in the warehouse?”

“Of course not,” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension, “I’m not the one who thought that we should be here in the first place. This was your idea and…”

“You thought by poking around in the files on Norm that it would trigger something inside of him,” Logan reasoned further, “You figured if you got into something you shouldn’t that the rug would be pulled out from underneath us and it would be one step closer to this inevitable face off that you and Markus were going to have with one another. Perhaps in pissing off Norm you would draw Markus here and in doing so you could follow through on this death wish of yours once and for all in hating yourself for all you’ve done to get to this point.”

“No, Logan that’s not why I…” Scott opened his mouth to argue with him further.

“Of course, you were,” Logan answered with a pinched, hollow laugh, “You want Markus to try to destroy you Slim, don’t you? You want to suffer for the things you feel you’ve done.”

“I want to stop him Logan,” Scott’s voice grew louder when irritation overtook him.

“No Slim that’s not what is motivating you in all of this,” Logan stared at him blankly. In remembering his other self and thinking about the anger that his old self carried with him, Logan found himself greeted with a new realization, “You want to die. You want to leap into this suicide mission full force not giving a damn what happens to you at the end of it! You are hoping that Markus can stop the emptiness that you feel inside of you by giving in to his madness.”

“I want him to be stopped Logan,” Scott maintained pinching his lips together in a tight grimace, “The man has hurt so many others and…”

“Be that as it may you know full well that going into this, it could cost you everything to stop him,” Logan’s voice cracked with emotion, “You are aware of the risk and you’re poking and prodding around hoping full well that Markus will unleash his anger upon you so that you don’t have to feel like the villain any longer. Admit it.”

“Logan I…” Scott finally looked away from him.

“You need to stop doing this to yourself Slim because as long as you keep holding onto this self-loathing and bitter hatred for the man you once were, you’re never going to be free to have any kind of happiness in your life,” Logan softened his tone when the weight of Scott’s actions carried over him, “You’re never going to be free to be happy or loved or with me considering that…”

“Logan, I’m just trying to keep us safe,” Scott’s lower lip quivered with emotion that Logan hadn’t thought capable out of his lover.

“But at what cost?” Logan stepped forward reaching out to cup Scott’s face in his hands, “Slim, I won’t risk you to complete this mission.”

“We don’t have a choice in any of this Logan,” Scott offered up with a defeated expression on his face, “If I’m what Markus wants, then…”

“He and every vessel he has can meet the weight of my claws inside of them because I’m not going to lose you again,” Logan pushed his fingers up into Scott’s hair, coaxing Scott to look at him once again, “I won’t let you go down this road alone. No matter how much you want to hate yourself for the things that happened with you and the other guy…”

“This isn’t about him,” Scott choked up on his words, “This is about…”

“You’re afraid,” Logan cut him off abruptly, “I get that Slim, but just because you’re scared doesn’t mean that you should run away from everything that’s happening inside of you. Just because you feel that the walls are closing in upon you doesn’t mean that…”

“I have to end Markus,” Scott explained desperately, “It’s the only way we’ll be free to…”

“The only way we’ll be free is if you and I stop fighting what this thing is growing between us,” Logan spoke up in an impassioned tone, “We can’t keep fighting the memory of men we won’t ever be again. What we did and said in another life doesn’t define who we are now…”

“If I don’t look at all the angles, then we’ll never be safe Logan,” Scott explained in a restless, broken tone, “If I don’t explore all my options on the people we surround ourselves with including Norm…”

“He was being a friend in offering us shelter here Slim,” Logan argued further when the same stone-cold expression returned to Scott’s otherwise handsome features. It caused Scott to pull back letting go of the break in his armor long enough to return to the skepticism that guided his search on Logan’s old friend, “He knew what kind of situation that this has escalated into and…”

Scott opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, clearly considering his words when Logan found himself at a loss. He reached out to touch Scott’s arm only to feel Scott withdraw from the touch.

“I don’t trust him Logan,” Scott divulged without any kind of filter on his words, “He put you in an unsafe situation. If he hadn’t asked you to become a part of those trials…”

“I volunteered!”

“Without knowing the facts about what Euphoria could do to you and…” Scott’s voice rose with frustration.

“I knew there were side effects, but I didn’t care,” Logan repeated watching his lover pull away from him with each passing word between them, “I told you that.”

“But Norm knew what Euphoria could do. He had a vested interest in all of this, and he made for damn certain that you were so wrapped up in the situation that you didn’t have any other option, but to help him.”

“You’re reaching Slim,” Logan argued with him, “and maybe that’s my fault for disclosing my history with him, but…”

“Am I?” Scott countered with an arched brow.

“Of course you are,” Logan scoffed taking a step back, “The whole point of this down time was for the both of us to regroup, to find a way to figure out what move Markus was going to make next. We were both supposed to heal together and…”

“How can we heal knowing that there is danger out there when…?” Scott’s words grew frantic when Logan pushed his fingers through his own messy, dark hair.

“Norm’s not the enemy in all of this. I know that it is easy not to trust someone given all you endured, but…” Logan hesitated when Scott’s face fell from rage to something Logan couldn’t quite read in their moment together

“You almost died because of the things he asked of you Logan. How can you keep ignoring that?” Scott questioned in a raw, shattered tone unable to hold back the emotion laced words that tugged at his conscience.

“I’m not ignoring it,” Logan answered with a frown.

“Then how can you keep questioning what I’m saying to you here?” Scott choked up on his words when recall caused him to shudder with upset, “Your heart was in my hands beating it’s final beats before Maria stepped in and…”

“Don’t you think I realize that?” Logan threw his hands up in the air in frustration when Scott’s distress sparked an uneasy reaction inside of him, “Don’t you think that I see how close I came to losing it all only because I refused to let go of what I once had in a life that was no longer mine? Do you have any idea how I felt in seeing firsthand that I almost gave up on our future together because I was too damned stubborn in holding onto my past?”

“You were only put in that position because Norm persuaded and manipulated you into it and…” Scott’s voice extended with the irritation that had guided his investigation into Logan’s longtime friend.

“Norm saved my life Slim,” Logan shot back stubbornly when the tension mounted between them, “He was the one that…”

“Pulled you out of a bad situation in Vietnam. I get that. I really do Logan, but at the same time…” Scott started once again when an ache centered in over Logan’s chest causing him to question why the expression on Scott’s face hit him as hard as it did. There was anger in his words, but the pain in his expression spoke volumes about the things that Scott was avoiding in their conversation.

“No Slim, that’s not it,” Logan clarified with a shake of his head, “I mean yes he saved me then, but he also saved me now.”

“Logan, he was the one who practically handed you up on a platter to Markus no doubt preparing to exploit your mutation and your memories to benefit the both of them when…” Scott countered as his face grew a deep crimson shade. His lips were pursed together tightly in between breaths with his hands clenched into fists at his side as if he was struggling to fend off the overwhelming rage that consumed him in their conversation.

“Scott,” Logan broke through his lover’s words when he thought about the one thing they hadn’t discussed since Logan’s release from the hospital, “I know that you think you know what you’re saying about Norm’s motivation in all of this given his background, but in this situation you’re wrong. Norm isn’t the enemy we are at war with.”

“The best of friends can become enemies over time Logan,” Scott swallowed down hard.

“And I don’t doubt that, but in this case, Norm’s the only reason I’m standing here today with you,” Logan looked away from Scott before speaking up in a deliberate, measured tone.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Scott questioned impatiently.

Logan forced himself to face Scott again with tension coiling over his spine, “Who do you think came up with the serum that saved my life? Who do you think was the man behind the means of keeping me alive in all of this?”

“Wait, are you saying that Norm was…?” Scott’s jaw dropped as Logan nodded in confession.

“I didn’t think things would get as far as they did when we were at the warehouse. When I went in there looking for you, I had no idea what I would find in there. After seeing all the bodies and being confronted by Hagan…” Logan’s words trailed off at the memory of the night he’d found himself on the verge of death about to be ripped away from his second chance at happiness in his life, “I had no idea what we would see in that place, but there was always a chance that something could go wrong and…”

“What?” Scott asked again softening his tone. His lips were still curved downward in a scowl, but his posture was less rigid as if Logan’s explanation had diffused some of his rage resonating inside of Scott.

“Norm promised me that we’d always have a contingency plan in all of this,” Logan divulged breaking into the conversation he’d shared with his old friend long before Scott had entered the situation. With an abrupt significance in his voice Logan continued to spell it out for his lover, “He swore to me that he’d make sure that I’d always have a way out and…”

“With his background in chemistry and his biological research through the years…” Scott pieced together after taking in Logan’s words.

“He was familiar with my mutation and able to ensure a potential fix should I get in too deep,” Logan vacillated before speaking up again in a subdued tone, “Granted at the time he started working on it, I highly doubt that he thought I’d put myself into that position with the trials, but when I agreed to offer up my DNA to him as part of the serum itself…”

“He was able to magnify your healing factor to reverse the damage of Euphoria itself,” Scott realized angling his head to eye Logan suspiciously, “Why didn’t you say anything before now?”

“Because I didn’t think it was important after I made it through what happened. I was still here with you and that was all that mattered,” Logan shrugged his shoulders, “I didn’t really give any consideration to my part in all of this once Markus decided that you were what he wanted.”

“Even so why didn’t Fury or Maria say anything to me that…” Scott struggled to process Logan’s information.

“Because Maria didn’t have clearance and Fury, well, who the hell knows what he’s planning?” Logan tossed out speculations beyond his knowledge base, “No one at S.H.I.E.L.D. thinks to be straight with anyone else, which is why when Norm invited me to be a part of this operation, we made for damn certain that we did it our way. He wasn’t sure who he could trust, so he came to me. With my mutation and my being an outsider it was easier for me to slip into the trials in ways that S.H.I.E.L.D. couldn’t monitor or fuck with if you will.”

“So then…” Scott couldn’t help, but glower sinking back down in the chair again.

“I don’t want to do this here,” Logan decided looking around the walls of the room they were in. With an exasperated sigh, he crossed the room reaching for Scott’s hand, “We can talk about this, but how about we take it outside?”

“Right now?” Scott arched a curious brow when Logan’s fingers squeezed upon his palm, “but I’m…”

“Going to get into a conversation that I think we should have somewhere else,” Logan clarified with a frown. He released Scott’s fingers opting instead to lean up against the desktop when Scott’s tight expression carried the tension still bristling between them, “Not because I don’t think it’s safe in here, but because I think we should continue it somewhere less stressful…more neutral if you will.”

“What do you have in mind?” Scott probed twisting the chair around so that he was looking directly at Logan beside him.

“Let me show you,” Logan attempted to smooth the waters between them when he extended his hand out to Scott again. Angling his head to the side, he softened his tone attempting to prove to be calm and composed when his fingers stretched out further in invitation, “Let’s go for a hike.”

“Right now?” Scott replied delivering him a scrutinizing glance. He sat up straighter in the seat, making no attempt at abandoning his post when Logan’s fingers briefly skimmed over the surface of Scott’s palm.

“Right now. We both need a break from all of this,” Logan nodded towards the computer again.

“We took a break last night and this morning when…” Scott prepared to argue against the suggestion.

“One more won’t kill us,” Logan clarified with a firm resolve in his voice, “We need a break. Just the two of us away from all of this for a while.”

“I still have work to do if we’re going to make any considerable ground in this situation and…” Scott began to argue with Logans request when Logan knelt before Scott. Releasing Scott’s hand, Logan’s fingers stretched out over Scott’s outer thighs squeezing casually over the surface of the khakis that Scott was wearing in a distressed effort to gain Scott’s full attention.

“It can wait…” Logan insisted extending his fingers out over Scott’s upper thighs to seek out Scott’s loosely placed hands. They were now in Scott’s lap aimlessly holding on to the idea of the work laid out before him when Logan’s fingertips touched over Scott’s fingers. He wiggled them again against the warmth of Scott’s warm flesh hoping his lover would simply reach out and bridge the gap between them.

“No, it really can’t,” Scott shook his head in refusal to step away from his research. Swallowing down a breath, Scott pulled his hands away from Logan doing his best to stay focused when Logan stood upright. He watched in silence as Scott turned away and began to click at the keys of the keyboard again doing his best to shut out their conversation with one another.

“Yes,” Logan decided. He guided himself up off the floor and boldly placed his hands down on Scott’s shoulders to command his attention once again, “It can.”

“Logan,” Scott sighed tensing up beneath Logan’s touch.

“Slim,” Logan spoke up in warning. His fingers pressed into Scott’s tense shoulders once more listening to the pinched hiss that spilled over Scott’s lips with the firm press Logan made into his flesh. The tension was there beneath the surface causing Scott to wind up tighter than he had in days with Logan behind him suggesting an escape from the reality that they were facing, “Grab a light jacket if you need one. I’m going to pack this stuff up and take it with us.”

“I don’t want to argue about this any longer. I’d really rather…” Scott commenced with a slight grimace preparing to coax Logan into leaving him alone with his research once again.

“Please,” Logan softened his tone. His hands stretched out over Scott’s shoulders, sliding around the smooth curves just enough to allow his fingers to extend out over Scott’s chest. His thumbs traced over Scott’s collar bones, gently pressing into the muscled warmth beneath Scott’s shirt. Leaning forward Logan took advantage of his placement and enclosed Scott in an embrace with arms draped tightly around Scott’s lean form, “for me.”

“Fine,” Scott conceded angling his head back to allow Logan’s lips to graze over his cheekbone.

With a sigh, Scott curved into the touch, angling his head just right to voluntarily meet Logan’s mouth in a soft, lingering kiss despite his preliminary objections. With faint, playful brushes and light, tender nips, Scott’s annoyance evaporated into the urgency behind Logan’s kiss giving himself completely Logan’s request. As their lips collided, Scott’s rage dissolved returning to the calm that had surrounded him earlier in the day wrapped up in Logan’s arms.

With one last covetous nibble, Scott tore himself away from the kiss to scrutinize Logan closely, “But once we return…”

“Yeah I know. You can get back to all of this and do whatever it is you think you need to do in order to strategize how we end all of this and save the world around us,” Logan sighed shaking his head at Scott before rising to his feet. Delivering Scott one last, yearning expression, Logan acquired the fruit bowls and the beer again, “Don’t be long, okay?”

“Where are we going?” Scott questioned when Logan’s actions proved to be a distraction leaving him with a sense of uneasiness when Logan stepped away from him.

“You’ll see,” Logan answered cryptically knowing full well that they had a lot to work through before Scott would feel comfortable enough to shift his focus onto other aspects of the night ahead of them. However, with the symbolism of the farmhouse around him, Logan knew full well it was time for another approach before they wound up at odds with one another for all the wrong reasons.

* * *


	32. Endearment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Underneath the stars Logan's journey into his past brings him closer to Scott.

**Endearment:** a word or phrase expressing love or affection.

“What’s going on Logan?” Scott questioned impatiently unable to mask the restlessness that had overtaken him after Logan had suggested they bypass their conversation inside of the farmhouse in favor of taking a hike around the estate’s perimeter.

Initially Scott had attempted to refuse Logan’s proposal as the suggestion had been unwelcome in the midst of Scott’s research, but given the urgency in Logan’s voice, Scott had opted to forgo his discoveries in favor of offering his ear to Logan’s conversation. However, knowing the tension that buzzed between them upon Scott’s investigation into their host, Scott had merely held back on his opinions lingering in uneasy silence, keeping up in stride with Logan until they’d ended up together far from the farmhouse traveling deeper into the dense woods that surrounded the property. Quietness had surrounded their travels giving way to the intrusion of the chirping of the crickets and the same cryptic conversations of the frogs beyond where they stood with one another basking in the nature setting around them until Scott found the courage to speak up again.

When Logan hadn’t answered, Scott contemplated if he’d been loud enough to capture his companion’s attention. Angling his head to the side, he analyzed the hard lines in Logan’s otherwise unreadable features uncertain of the right way to approach his concerns now that their conversation had taken them from the warmth of the farmhouse to the autumn evening down by the pond. Clearing his throat in the hopes of paving the way to a verbal exchange between them, Scott impatiently scraped the rubber sole of his shoe across the dirt beneath his feet creating a scratching sound with the movement. It caused Logan’s shoulders to scrunch up with obvious agitation, but still he held firm in his quiet casting of his line out into the pond and refusing to offer a word to appease Scott’s questioning.

Grudgingly Scott was met by stubborn silence taking in the restless breeze beside the small, secluded area after Logan had wordlessly handed a rod over to Scott encouraging Scott to join him for a round of fly fishing. With a breeze in the air and the amber hues in the sky alerting them to diminishing daylight around them, Scott stewed over their earlier words, filled with apprehension and nervousness over the inevitable disputes he and Logan were yet to share between them.

“Tell me again why we are out here,” Scott commanded tersely. His words were a little less relaxed than his earlier questioning. With another breeze carrying over him, he felt a little less amicable and accommodating to his lover’s sudden appeal knowing only too well it was simply another tactic to delay the inevitable night of research ahead of him.

“To talk,” Logan clarified flinging his fishing line out into the water once again after his first attempt had proven fruitless. From his position beside Scott, it was evident that Logan was still distraught by the words they’d shared in the basement of Norm’s farmhouse, yet he hadn’t approached the source of obvious tension between them until Scott demanded a response. Giving very little, Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth as he acknowledged Scott’s urgency in his request, “so talk.”

“You were the one who wants us to do this out here,” Scott grumbled looking to the water before them again.

“You needed some breathing room,” Logan answered in a muted, distanced voice, “You were getting too worked up in there.”

“With obvious reason and if you weren’t being so obtuse about the situation, then…” Scott’s words were harsher than he’d intended. He hadn’t thought them through as they’d carried over his lips.

“Obtuse?” Logan repeated with a stiff, unamused chuckle, “So that’s how it is?”

“Logan,” Scott frowned, “no it’s just…”

“What?” Logan questioned issuing Scott a brief, dismissive glance before turning to observe the water once again.

“This isn’t what we should be doing. Not now,” Scott conceded feeling the first flicker of defeat over him. Swallowing down hard Scott thought about the words they’d exchanged with one another in the computer room knowing only too well that they’d opened the door to something far darker in their conversation with the tension that still lingered in the air between them, “You said this would be easier to do out here…”

“It was supposed to be until you decided to bend all the rules in favor of pursuing a dead end in your research,” Logan quipped with a stubborn shake of his head.

“It wasn’t a dead end and you know it,” Scott voiced his concerns louder than he’d anticipated.

“Slim…” Logan spoke his name in warning.

“I’m sorry Logan, but I’m not going to spare your feelings simply because you’re attached to someone with a suspicious history,” Scott continued preparing to arm himself for war against the man he’d been hoping to get closer to during their time away from the rest of the world, “Just because you feel a certain sense of loyalty to Norm…”

“This isn’t about loyalty Slim,” Logan cut him off with a low resonating hiss, “It’s about what you said you were doing versus what you were…”

“I was trying to protect us Logan. I’d already done a great deal of research on Markus and…” Scott defended his actions preparing to launch into the reasons leading up to his overwhelming curiosity about Logan’s long-time pal. However, catching the grimace that carried over Logan’s expression, Scott stopped himself instead observing his lover more closely, “Why are we out here exactly?”

“I told you that we needed some air,” Logan offered up a casual shrug.

“What we need is to be on the same page with one another, which clearly isn’t going to be happening after you caught me off guard like that,” Scott replied considering the situation that had been sprung upon him during Logan’s arrival, “Come to think of it, what were you doing coming down there to visit me when you did? I thought you said you had plans for the day when you left earlier.”

“I did have plans for the day, and this is a part of it. In case it was lost on you Slim, you spent most of the day down there, so I was going to offer up a moment of reprieve before I spotted you poking around in Norm’s past,” Logan had promised as the two had taken to the water, both too distracted to focus on the actual task at hand with their argument still fresh on both of their minds, “If you had questions, you could’ve just asked.”

“And what would you have told me Logan?” Scott questioned with a scowl, “That Norm was this incredible man who saved your life? That I shouldn’t trust my instincts and follow them in the direction of…?”

“Of what exactly?” Logan asked gripping his line harder than before, “What was it that you were hoping to discover by turning your focus to Norm?”

“I already told you that,” Scott began in frustration.

“I heard what you said, but what is it exactly that made you believe that was the best starting ground for us in this investigation?” Logan challenged tilting his head down to glare at Scott beneath the pink hues of the fading day surrounding them, “Why was Norm your top priority at a time when you wanted to be tracking down Markus and looking into what happened with Abaddon?”

“I don’t trust this Logan,” Scott answered honestly, “As much as you want me to feel comforted by the fact that we’ve got security at our disposal and this property around us, nothing about it seems safe. Even you can’t deny that something about all of this just feels…”

“Quiet?” Logan arched a curious brow, “Secluded? Tucked away from all of the problems we carried with us through the doors upon arriving?”

“Logan that’s not what has me uncomfortable. I’m not concerned about…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip wondering how his words were coming out entirely wrong with Logan twisting at his every explanation.

“Us being alone together?” Logan challenged issuing Scott a long, lingering once over before turning away from their exchange. He focused on the water again pretending that fishing had somehow held a deeper significance as Scott’s frustrations mounted.

“This is ridiculous,” Scott shook his head and sighed wishing like hell that Logan’s misguided sense of loyalty would simply take a backseat to logic and reason in their conversation, “I’m not going to apologize for taking the time to learn about Norm’s history. If you don’t understand my reasoning or like that I did what I did, then that’s on you, not me.”

“Of course,” Logan nodded again revealing nothing about his thoughts as his fishing line simply bounced in the water beyond where he stood. His eyes were focused across the pond, pushing out towards the trees when Scott found himself turning his attention to his own fishing rod.

“Great,” Scott muttered feeling uncharacteristically agitated and annoyed with Logan’s blatant disregard for his instincts. Instead of opening up his ear, it seemed as though Logan had been set on shutting reality out in favor of…well, that part Scott hadn’t been quite clear on when he thought of Logan’s odd request to go out into the evening.

Thinking back to Logan’s initial suggestion, Scott had to admit he’d been swayed by Logan’s kiss, suddenly distracted by the promise of something other than their arguing, but the uneasy silence had changed all of that in their walk to the private pond. Instead of simply suggesting they return to the farmhouse, Scott had given in to Logan’s sudden need to be one with nature. It wasn’t so much of a break, but rather another means of building a barrier between them without the walls of the house surrounding them. After a bit of reluctance on Scott’s part, Logan had finally coaxed Scott to throw his line into the water simply surrounding himself in nature as they waited for a fish to bite. After nearly another twenty minutes of agonizing silence passing between them, Scott grew impatient and turned to Logan again.

“What are we really doing out here Logan? Why not talk to me in the house given all we said to each other already?” Scott questioned in a neutral voice hoping not to reveal the nervousness he’d felt at the growing divide between them in knowing full well they’d touched on a sensitive topic between them.

“Because you weren’t comfortable there,” Logan answered freely. His eyes were on the water, but there was no mistaking the pressure that carried over Logan’s posture as they stood at the edge of the water, “and truth be told the more you talked about it, the less comfortable I was in being there.”

“Because you know I’m right about all of this,” Scott pressed Logan’s sense of logic further when Scott found himself filled with a spark of hope that his lover was coming around to his sense of reasoning.

“No, that’s not it Slim.”

“You can’t be this naïve Logan,” Scott appealed to him again, “I respect that you are loyal to those who have done right by you, but…”

“That’s not what this is about either. This is beyond what we discussed inside of the house. This is because I realize that we’re dealing with dangerous people Slim who would just as soon take you away from me should they get the chance to do so,” Logan answered reaching up over the back of his neck and shoulders to rub at the obvious tension building there.

“I’m aware of the dangers that have presented themselves Logan, which is why I’m…” Scott’s voice held dire significance.

“Opening more doors than necessary in an attempt to understand what we’re really dealing with at this point,” Logan continued to pace himself drawing in a slow, uneasy breath to remain calm in their heightened conversation.

“Markus has put us in a position to be…” Scott began tentatively lowering his voice to match his lover’s tone.

“…paranoid of the world around us, but where is it getting us?” Logan challenged finally angling his head just enough to issue Scott an uneasy glance, “What were you really hoping to find in there Slim?”

“I told you that I’m trying to protect us both by knowing the truth about a man that claims to be helping us, yet his intentions in all of this are less than clear considering that…” Scott opened his mouth to defend his position once again.

“I never loved him Slim. Neither did the other guy you lost, and Norm knew that,” Logan mumbled with clear certainty in his voice. He kept his eyes forward glued to the buoyant line he had cast into the darkened water a short while earlier, “When he and I connected we had a certain bond sure, but it just wasn’t…”

“What?” Scott questioned noting the involuntary shudder that carried over Logan’s body.

“Real,” Logan sighed shaking his head during his confession. His jaw tensed up with something that Scott couldn’t quite read as Logan expelled a slow, uneasy breath, “Don’t get me wrong there was friendship. Hell, we got physical every now and then, but I never once felt for him the way I feel for you.”

“Logan, if you think that I initiated this research because I’m somehow jealous of…”

“Aren’t you?” Logan arched a scrutinizing brow. Tilting his head to the side to observe Scott, the warmth of his breath formed a small vapor cloud beyond his lips as he awaited a response from his lover, “I mean doesn’t that play a hand in all of this?”

“No, of course not. It doesn’t. It…” Scott stopped himself when a frown touched over the corners of his mouth revealing something deeper in their exchange. Angling his head in closer to Logan’s dissecting eyes, Scott suddenly felt surrounded by uncertainties he hadn’t considered. His cheeks were growing warm with an obvious flush, his lips parting in his objection, but it was the sprinting of his heart that guided his response, “I mean even if it did that’s not why I’m exploring that angle. To ignore his presence in your life only leaves the door open to vulnerability in our current situation and…”

“You’re not being completely objective in all of this Slim,” Logan interrupted reaching out with his free hand to stroke the side of Scott’s face. Instinctively, Scott arched into the warmth of Logan’s palm turning in towards him in favor of stealing a taste of the slow burning heat beneath the surface of Logan’s thumb tracing feathery light patterns over his cheekbone. Exhaling sharply Scott coveted the touch, nudging Logan’s finger in silent approval hoping that his lover would continue his exploration. However, instead of giving in to Scott’s unspoken request, Logan half-heartedly withdrew from the touch with a shake of his head, “Admit it. You don’t like the idea of knowing Norm and I used to have something together.”

“That goes without saying, but that doesn’t mean that I would…” Scott attempted to explain himself again. Growing increasingly flustered Scott was at a loss for words, his mind clouded by his body’s natural response to Logan beside him when his lips pinched together again causing him to swallow down hard.

“Go out of your way to find a reason to make him the enemy because it would be easier in the long run for us?” Logan challenged with an arched brow. He twisted on his feet, diminishing the gap between them when Scott’ gaze lingered to Logan’s hand remembering his soft touch against Scott’s needy skin. It was well within Scott’s reach, so very close, yet as Logan expelled a sharp, impatient breath watching Scott closely, Scott’s desire was replaced with agitation as he shifted on his feet.

“If you really think I’m that insecure, then clearly you haven’t been paying attention to what I’ve been saying,” Scott wrinkled his nose with dismay. He scowled at Logan’s accusation. His nostrils flared and he turned away from Logan too angry to consider the man’s appeal.

“I’ve been paying attention to every last detail Slim and I get it,” Logan confessed softening his tone in Scott’s bristling response. Boldly Logan lowered his fishing rod, discarding it on the ground beside him before his hands were situated over Scott’s hips. His breath skimmed over Scott’s shoulder; mouth so very close to that spot just beneath Scott’s earlobe that drove him mad with desire. With a shiver, Scott found himself coveting the languorous heat of Logan’s chest pressed against his spine, needing Logan’s breath upon him when Logan’s voice resonated over his skin in a covetous, incensed quality, “There’s not a day where I don’t think about the other guy and how it could’ve been him holding you in his arms, standing here beside you instead of me.”

“He wouldn’t have been standing with me,” Scott quipped focusing on his line in the water once again.

With shaky hands Scott held onto the rod fighting to ignore the way Logan’s fingers stretched out over his hips, pushing down over his thighs to trace the firm lines of Scott’s body beneath the evening sky. His lips grazed over the side of Scott’s neck never enveloping his skin, but merely teasing as Scott’s pulse quickened. His hips arched back, bottom intentionally rubbing over Logan’s inseam knowing only too well of Logan’s growing hunger despite their tense conversation.

“You think that’s the case, but I know better,” Logan’s voice reached out to him through the darkening skies around them. It echoed in his mind, burning deep inside of him as Logan rough lips grazed over Scott’s earlobe. His words held Scott captive with Logan’s fingers roaming up over Scott’s thighs tracing his every contour until finally Logan’s bicep surrounded Scott’s abdomen with a secure possessive hold, “He would’ve laid down his life to be where I’m at right now regardless of how things play out.”

With the damp heat of Logan’s lips trailing over Scott’s skin, he arched his head back wanting more than anything to give in to the temptation Logan was offering—to believe in the truth in his lover’s words, but the memory of the man he’d betrayed caused Scott’s bristling retreat from his lover’s arms.

“You say that now, but we both know that he hated me and with good reason,” Scott dismissed Logan’s words in favor of gripping on the handle of his fishing rod harder than before.

“He was an idiot,” Logan quipped with an air of agitation in his tone after Scott sidestepped out of his arms, “but there was no denying how much he loved you. Hell, it was almost as much as I do, you know?”

“Yeah, well how do you think I feel in knowing that you found the better version of me in another place that made you happy in ways that I know I can’t even come close to reaching?” Scott countered in his best attempt at making his voice as neutral as possible despite the knowledge that everything inside of him was desperate to reach out and grab Logan in the hopes of believing in his words, “In knowing how sweet and wonderful and put together he was…”

“He had problems,” Logan contended with an indifferent huff.

“Not like me,” Scott shamefully lowered his head in thinking about the memories that Logan had shared with him, “Never like me.”

“Maybe not,” Logan conceded softening his tone when Scott could feel the weight of Logan’s gaze upon him, “but he never reached me the way that you do. He never simultaneously made me want to strangle and kiss him at the same time.”

“Bullshit,” Scott raised his head up to meet Logan’s eyes in an unspoken challenge, “You’re lying about that.”

“Maybe,” Logan shrugged leaning in closer to Scott. Without invitation his arms surrounded Scott’s waist again, causing Scott to release his rod in favor of bringing his hand up over the center of Logan’s chest to feel the warmth of Logan beside him, “but he never made me want to do the things that you do.”

“That’s because he made it easy for you,” Scott felt a heat rising over his features when Logan’s fingertips tapered off over the side of his face. His thumb grazed over the plump center of Scott’s bottom lip causing goosebumps to form on his flesh when Scott’s fingers coiled into the material of Logan’s partially opened shirt to reveal the thick, dark chest hair within his grasp. Feeling inadequate Scott began to withdraw from Logan’s arms, “He was open with his heart and his emotions and…”

“That doesn’t mean that I can’t read yours,” Logan nudged Scott’s ribs with his elbows. His fingers curled around Scott’s bicep coaxing Scott to return to their earlier embrace, “It won’t negate from what we have here considering that…”

“He made you happy,” Scott sighed feeling his heart sink in that admission, “which is something I’m afraid I could never do Logan. What if I can never be what you wanted from a relationship with him?”

“I don’t want a relationship with him…not anymore,” Logan nudged him again hoping to recapture Scott’s attention. Curling his fingers underneath Scott’s chin, Logan coaxed Scott to consume his words beneath the fading sunlight, “I’m in a relationship with you.”

“Only because you no longer feel you have a choice,” Scott’s insecurities mounted when he turned away. His instincts fought against the action causing him to tremble from within as he forced himself to focus on the water ahead of him.

“You have no have no idea how jealous I am over the man who once held you in his arms and foolishly let you go,” Logan divulged quietly regarding the boundary that Scott had set up between them in his retreat, “Thinking about the two of you together—for how much you long for redemption in his eyes…”

“I hurt him in ways that I’ll never be able to recover from,” Scott spoke softly in allowing the words to roll from his tongue into the night beyond the clearing they were in, “He’ll never know how sorry I am for what I did to hurt him.”

“He should be apologizing to you for all the ways in which he let you down,” Logan grumbled looking to the water once again, “He didn’t know what he had until it was gone.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one saying that?” Scott questioned losing himself to a tentative moment of contemplation in remembering the mistakes he’d made leading him to this point in time with Logan far away from the rest of the world they’d left behind.

“He was a fucking idiot Slim, but I’m not,” Logan declared making his intentions known when he directly addressed Scott. The sincerity in his tone resonated through the cool night air causing Scott to involuntarily shiver at the thought of what Logan was saying to him.

“I’m not either,” Scott forced himself to face his lover head on refusing to allow the sentiment to steal the logic that carried over him in knowing what dangers they still faced ahead of them, “I just want to protect you from any kind of pain in all of this Logan.”

“Yeah, well, for what it’s worth I’m not as naïve as you think I am. I see things as they are Slim.”

“Do you?” Scott challenged.

“In more ways than you can imagine,” Logan sighed giving himself a moment of reprieve when the winds swept over the water creating a rippling effect over the pond.

“Logan…” Scott softened his tone.

“I’m well aware that Norm and I were a mistake Slim,” Logan revealed somberly. His earlier tension returned in his stance, his voice distanced when his focus lingered to the waves over the pond’s surface, “When we met it was under hard circumstances and…”

“That’s not why I was looking into him. I won’t deny that I’m…jealous of the idea that you were close enough to share a year of your life with someone entering into a real relationship beyond the one night stands I’m so used to you…him…having. It’s unsettling to imagine that there was someone else who held a place in your heart…” Scott revealed guiltily.

“He held a place in my life Slim, but my heart is yours alone,” Logan promised reaching out to brush his fingers against Scott’s for a brief, fleeting second of contact.

“I don’t doubt that you believe that Logan and I…swear that wasn’t why I was looking into Norm. Being jealous might’ve been a partial motivator, but it was more than that guiding me on. I was just trying to…” Scott began again to convince Logan of his intentions.

“Dig up something that might raise a red flag in him, but I’ll save you the trouble Slim,” Logan swallowed down hard. He began to reel his line in again before speaking up, “Maybe it’s time I lay it out on the line and be straight with you about everything. Lord knows I’ve wanted to, but it just hasn’t felt like the right time.”

“Right time for what?” Scott questioned wearily.

“I wanted this to be about us—about our finding a way to escape the chaos that has surrounded our lives since we found one another again, but I knew once Clint and Natasha were involved those days were over,” Logan decided weighing out his words carefully, “Look Slim I’m not going to lie. When Norm and I met we weren’t exactly in a position to do what we were doing.”

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned looking over to discover Logan’s dark hair blowing in the breeze that surrounded them.

“He and I…” Logan swallowed down hard. He twisted his body to speak more directly to Scott. There was a distance in his eyes, a tense expression on his face when he recounted the words that he’d held onto upon their arrival at the farm, “With the two of us…Norm and I…fooling around like we were…when we were here…it was careless…a mistake.”

“How so?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when Logan’s jaw clenched with tension, “You lived here for over a year with him at the estate and…”

“I lived in the farmhouse where you and I are staying, but we weren’t necessarily living together.”

“I’m not following,” Scott confessed when Logan shifted on his feet.

“You won’t find this stuff in the files you were reading, but the truth was that Norm and I, well, we were together, but not in the official sense. That photo you saw of the two of us down by the water was something he took one day when we were roaming around on the property, but the reality was that I stayed in the guest house and Norm lived in the main house most of the time…” Logan swallowed down hard unable to meet Scott’s eyes, “with his wife.”

“His…?” Scott’s jaw dropped unable to mask the astonishment that carried over him, “His wife?”

“You saw he was married, right?” Logan probed again when Scott nodded, “I’m sure you saw that much when you were looking into his background…”

“You’d mentioned her name with the password and…” Scott’s words trailed off.

“She was here the entire time I lived here,” Logan disclosed in a neutral voice. He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet avoiding looking at Scott in his explanation, “They were pretty young when they met and when Norm was drafted, well, they got caught up in the idea they might never see one another again so they impulsively eloped before he went off to war. They even had a kid together—a son conceived when he was about to be shipped out.”

“So, she was pregnant when…” Scott’s thoughts escaped from his lips.

Logan nodded poignantly, “When Norm and I met…I don’t know. I wasn’t the man I am now and there didn’t seem to be any harm in flirting. It was just a challenge to overcome the obvious boredom in the downtime that often-followed war, but after a while there was something there that just evolved…”

“Did you…?” Scott gulped down considering his words when the shadows of the night weighed in upon them stealing traces of the day from their surroundings, “Did you know that he had a wife back home?”

“Not at first,” Logan admitted guiltily slumping his shoulders forward, “but it didn’t stop us when I did. Even when we got back here—when he invited me to stay with him, I knew about her. I recognized even considering it was a bad idea, but…”

“What?”

“I didn’t care,” Logan explained drawing in an uneasy breath. He brought one hand over the back of his neck and rubbed over the place between his shoulder blades, “and what makes it even worse is that I knew full well that it wasn’t worth pursuing to that point. If it wasn’t for…”

“What?”

“Norm was always interesting…” Logan swallowed down hard, “not only to me, but to other people around me you know?”

“And?” Scott questioned further.

“Let’s just say that I mean, yeah, we had some fun together when we were at war, but that happens in that environment,” Logan swallowed down hard, “Men bond with other men under extreme circumstances, but when you come back home things change. People are supposed to pick up the pieces of their fractured lives and…”

“You tried to do that in coming here,” Scott deduced observing the pond before them.

“I made a mistake coming here when I did. I knew that I wasn’t in love with Norm, but I was still on the job if you will and there was a part of me that knew it felt too good to walk away from,” Logan began to pull his toss his line out once again in a moment of distraction, “Not the sex, but the idea of having someone to come home to at the end of the night. I don’t know…after Victor I didn’t relish the idea of spending a lot of time on my own. I never really gave it much thought, but…”

“You knew you didn’t want to do it after the war,” Scott finished for him.

“I never really left being a soldier behind me. By the time I got here I didn’t have my priorities in order, but I knew more than to interrupt what Norm had going on here regardless of what my intentions were,” Logan sighed taking in a slow, uneasy breath, “Norm and I both knew better, but it didn’t stop us. We kept up like we did during war sneaking around with one another like it was the one thing still keeping us alive and…”

“His wife?” Scott couldn’t help, but question taking in Logan’s words.

“Didn’t have the first clue what was happening until she found us together in the barn fooling around one night after he thought she’d gone to bed,” Logan admitted guiltily when the memory carried over him, “By then my initial reasoning for being here had changed. Everything about my time here became something I hadn’t planned on. I got…confused maybe…losing my focus and…”

“What?”

“When I came to Norm it wasn’t entirely because of the loneliness, but right before I left, I liked the idea of having someone at my side who made me feel…less empty,” Logan continued to recount his past life to his lover, “I’d had a clear objective in mind when I’d initiated the initial reconnect with Norm, but…”

“Objective,” Scott repeated with a pinched expression on his face, “You mentioned that you were on the job and…”

“People noticed that Norm and I were close in Vietnam,” Logan added in a pointed tone, “unscrupulous people that gave me opportunities that I might not have had should I refused to cooperate. They wanted me to keep an eye on him and in turn…”

“You found a place where you felt like you belonged with someone…” Scott mused unable to mask his surprise in Logan’s implied confession.

“That ended up being important to me despite my reasoning for finding my way here to begin with,” Logan finished firmly refusing to offer up any further detail on his motivation, “I stepped away from my objective and embraced the idea of being someone…normal. Not that a guy like me was ever capable of something like that especially under those kinds of circumstances based on lies, but…”

“You were starting to feel something for Norm,” Scott realized thinking about all the things Logan had never disclosed about his past with him.

Logan nodded, “It was never love, but it was nice. It evolved beyond what I expected, and I found a place here. Norm changed me in some ways—made me reconsider my decisions up until that point and Sarah… Sara was a good woman in love with the wrong man. She thought she knew who he was, but I don’t think even he knew who he was until after the war. Even then I think he still had questions.”

“So, what happened?” Scott couldn’t help but ask when Logan’s words lingered in the night between them.

“After she confronted us, he decided he was ready to stop living up to the expectations others had for him. He didn’t want to pretend to be someone he wasn’t anymore. He offered to run away with me, but I told him it wasn’t an option for us. I knew that everything leading up to that point was a mistake—that my presence in his world to begin with never should’ve happened. I’d come there for all the wrong reasons and no matter how right it felt for him, I knew I couldn’t invite him into the life I lived not knowing who I truly was,” Logan answered stiffly. He lowered his hands rubbing them against the dark colored jeans that clung to his thick, muscular thighs, “As much as he fought against it, I put a stop to everything we had here. I took the intel that I needed for the job, packed up my things and went out on my own giving them a chance to work things out.”

“And did they…?” Scott asked quietly watching Logan shuffle his feet over the loose dirt beneath where he stood near the water’s edge, “Did they work it out?”

“You read the file,” Logan tossed back at him with a pinched laugh. He stood up taller, rubbing his hands together when the chirping crickets faded out to silence, “You must’ve seen how long they were married.”

“Over forty years until she lost herself to disease,” Scott noted recounting his earlier research, “but there was nothing about…”

“How I’d almost stolen that from him?” Logan finished with a shake of his head, “There wouldn’t be considering that I wasn’t supposed to do anything more than collect information while I was here. After those who’d been curious about Norm brought him into their world, Norm kept most of our time together in his past in a place where it was meant to stay. People weren’t as accepting about those kinds of things back then especially not with military men. Plus, deep down I knew from the start that while he and I had fun, it wasn’t meant to last. I wasn’t free to stake a claim on my life due to the sins of my past. I’d put myself in a position to be a slave to the hold the government had put upon me, so I think in part in being here…I used him to keep from feeling alone. As cruel as that sounds it was more about taking what I needed at the time, but we weren’t meant to be anything more than a mistake not worth repeating.”

“Why are you telling me this now?” Scott asked quietly.

“So that you can see that it isn’t the memory of true love you and I are walking into here. Maybe that’s not what guided you into your research today, but it’s something that I should’ve shared from the start. There’s a lot in my life that I’m not proud of Slim and this situation is one of them. I hurt people who trusted in me too,” Logan explained with an apologetic note in his voice.

“Logan…”

“Perhaps I’m saying it so that you don’t have to keep believing that a fling that the other me and I had years before we met you was anything more than a superficial situation brought on by our complacency and fear of being alone.”

“Logan, you say that now, but…” Scott attempted to find the words, but found himself at a loss.

“I don’t deny that he loved me Slim,” Logan explained quietly losing himself to the memory of the past, “but I was never in love with him. I never felt for him the things that he felt for me and before I left…”

“What?” Scott inquired.

“I made mistakes Slim and those mistakes undoubtedly paved the way for things that you might’ve uncovered in your research on Norm,” Logan swallowed down hard, “I hold myself accountable for a lot of that because Norm was a good guy before he met me. Regardless of what happened with him and I, he wanted to make the world a better place. He always wanted to help others and…”

“I imagine someone like Markus would prove to be the ultimate patient for him,” Scott couldn’t help, but prod Logan further about Norm and his motivations, “With Markus having such a rare, degenerating disease and…”

“I don’t know anything more about Markus and his plight beyond the stuff you’ve seen on the files you’ve gone through. During the trials I was limited in my interactions with those he’d worked with, so I didn’t have direct access to him like you did,” Logan insisted with a scowl struggling to put together his uneven thoughts, “If Norm was involved with Markus in that environment with Stark or S.H.I.E.L.D. attempting to find the key to immortality, he never told me. He never said anything to lead me to believe that there was even a possibility that he could be tied into all of that madness.”

“He has all the credentials of someone who could’ve readily been in the inner circle where Markus was concerned and…” Scott attempted to reason with Logan again.

“Credentials doesn’t make it so,” Logan tossed back at him with a crease in his brow, “Norm, when I knew him, always had the best of intentions. Regardless of his misguided some of his actions have been, he seemed to want to do the right thing even if he approached things for all the wrong reasons.”

“Which could’ve opened the door to someone like Markus reaching out to him in the hopes of discovering some kind of cure…” Scott suggested further.

“Even if he did,” Logan paused contemplating Scott’s words, “With Markus, I’m not denying that the man had a lot of problems. I’ve seen pieces of his file Slim and I know that from day one he was dealt a bad hand in life. No one is going to deny that regardless of what he’s turned himself into through the years.”

“But in his suffering, he found a new means of release,” Scott added with a tiny shudder knowing only too well of the enemy still out there waiting to strike down upon them, “He went from a man losing control of his body to…”

“…a monster set out on destroying the world,” Logan finished for him, “He spent so many years as a man possessed with the idea of evolving beyond his illness, but now…with pretending he’s a man…I’m not even sure that we can even call him that anymore. I don’t know what he is now with what we’ve seen, but what I do know is that Norm wants to see Markus taken down just as much as we do. Once Markus got Norm’s granddaughter involved in all of this…”

“Why would Markus go after Norm’s granddaughter?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when another ripple carried over the pond. With it came the buzzing of a mosquito in the night, flying past them into the night, “If she’s just a teenager, what would she offer to Markus in the grand scheme of things? What could she possibly do to influence his actions or further his agenda when…?”

“She’s a very powerful mutant Slim,” Logan clarified behind a clenched jaw, “which is another reason that Norm went to me instead of someone within the agency. He knew I could be discreet about the issue given that he wanted this to go under the radar.”

“So, you’re saying that…”

“Neither one of her parents had any gifts nor did anyone in Norm’s line,” Logan continued to recount the details he’d been given in his briefing, “Her mutation caught them all by surprise, but there was no denying it. Her powers manifested around the time she was three when their family dog was injured after being run over by a careless neighbor. From what Norm told me about the details surrounding he abduction she’s a healer, but different than anything he’s ever witnessed before.”

“Different how?” Scott questioned tentatively.

“She doesn’t just possess the capability to heal herself,” Logan informed him with a heavy breath. Lowering his voice, he addressed Scott directly in the quiet of the night around them, “Her powers aren’t limited to one person Slim. When she healed that dog, she also managed to restore a crop in a nearby field that had been deemed on the verge of useless. There were other instances that followed, but as it stands, she’s got the ability to reverse a plague if prompted and…”

“She’s the cure to Euphoria’s troubling side effects, isn’t she?” Scott realized taking in Logan’s words.

“I honestly don’t know, but being a kid with that kind of power is dangerous without the threat of someone like Markus lurking,” Logan explained with concern carrying over him, “To be that young and harbor that kind of power…”

“It must be frightening,” Scott acknowledge thinking about the things he’d carried with him, “Being that young and experiencing that kind of power must’ve been difficult for her growing up without any guidance.”

“I imagine it wasn’t easy, but truth be told Norm hasn’t been able to get close to her for years and…”

“She’s what they are all looking for. She’s what Markus is actively seeking out,” Scott paused allowing the information to roll over him and work its way into his mind, “That’s what has been missing here with her abduction. Someone thinks that she’s the key to neutralizing the side effects and bringing Markus full circle to his complete evolution.”

“She’s just a kid Slim,” Logan explained lowering his voice when his worries mounted, “and the last thing she needs is Markus sniffing around and exploiting her and her powers.”

“Which is what Norm was worried about when he recruited you,” Scott realized when Logan grew restless on the dirt terrain beside him.

Logan nodded, “Given what Norm told me about her, she’s got his smarts when it comes to science things. Her dad was a doctor as well—a hell of a good doctor, but when she came into this world, they knew right away that she was different. After what happened with the dog, they knew that she needed to be protected, but in doing so…”

“What?” Scott questioned watching Logan closely.

“They raised her to be merely human Slim,” Logan continued to recount the details he’d acquired about Norm’s granddaughter, “It is my understanding that her parents kept her far from our world with her powers. Norm’s son wanted her to live a normal life away from all the potential disaster that could follow with her gifts exposed to the world. The last thing he wanted was for his daughter to be an experiment like I was.”

“His son knew that you were…?” Scott asked quietly when Logan nodded.

“When I was here, he was just a boy, but I’d still harbored nightmares that I couldn’t hide from him. Over time as he got older, I think it was clearer to him when the world revealed just what it did to mutants like us,” Logan further explained, “Given his father’s connections, I think he saw firsthand what the government’s approach to dealing with our kind. He wanted no part of that, so as she got older, he and Norm initially fought over the situation.”

“Because Norm wanted to study her?” Scott questioned taking in Logan’s words.

Logan swallowed down hard, “Despite knowing what kind of danger that could cause, Norm has always been a man of science first and foremost. It is one of his strengths, but also one of his greatest weaknesses as he went against his son’s back when she was a small child and did his own research and testing in an attempt to get a deeper feel for her powers.”

“You mean he…?”

“He fucked up crossing a line that shouldn’t have been crossed,” rage rolled over Logan’s tongue and his jaw flexed with tension. He opened his mouth to speak preparing to say something further before he took in another calming breath. Moving around on the dirt, he seemed to consider his response before continuing, “He’s not proud of what he did Slim, but it cost him everything. I don’t know if it was the grief of losing Sara that pushed him over the edge or his damn quest for knowledge, but in a sense, he’d gone past the point of return. When his son found out what Norm had done in secretly experimenting on his daughter, he cut Norm out of their lives completely. They already had a shaky relationship with one another through the years after Sara died, but that was the last straw for them.”

“I can see why.”

“I felt the same way when he told me,” Logan confessed meeting Scott’s gaze once again, “I was furious when he told me how he’d treated her, but then when he said she was missing…”

“You knew you had to find her before someone like Markus exploited her powers,” Scott finished for him.

“Look Slim, I’m not saying what he did was right because it wasn’t, but at the time Norm was buried in his warped idea of morality. He argued that with his son at his side he believed they could study her powers to find a means of curing cancer or any other disease that plagued humanity,” Logan sighed finally picking up his fishing rod in favor of moving back towards the makeshift camp he’d set up near the water, “I was just as horrified as Norm’s son was upon learning what he’d done because you know that I don’t agree with it Slim. After what I went through, I can’t even begin to imagine a child having to endure that kind of senseless fear and suffering…”

“How could he even think to ask for your help in doing what he did?”

“He was desperate because we both know that the assholes he works for aren’t going to do anything to keep her safe,” Logan struggled to find the words to convey his reasoning behind his actions, “It doesn’t justify what he’d done to alienate himself from his family, but his granddaughter was in trouble Slim. I listened to his truth even if I didn’t agree with it. He made a mistake regardless of his medical background—whatever his purpose was…she was just a kid who didn’t deserve to be poked and prodded.”

“But he did it anyway,” Scott’s jaw flexed with tension.

Logan nodded, “Against his son’s wishes, he still attempted to run tests on the girl. His son rightfully refused to offer his daughter up to Norm’s aspirations and it cost Norm the last of his family for crossing one too many lines.”

“And he told you that?” Scott was unable to mask the surprise in his tone when he reeled his own line in and followed Logan over to the campfire that Logan had started before their trip into the water to catch a few fish.

Logan dipped his head solemnly, “He didn’t want there to be any secrets between us. I think he figured if I poked around long enough that I’d find out myself and…”

“You’d refuse to help him knowing he’d crossed that line,” Scott decided.

Logan nodded, “Before he recruited me for the mission at that bar we’d gotten to drinking. He was feeling nostalgic saying things about the time we spent together…It was such a long time ago, but he was one of the only people that really knew me as I was before. He was someone who had a link to what I once was so maybe that’s why I felt more at ease with him when this began. I’d felt like an outsider from the start, so in running into him…I don’t know…”

“You wanted to feel a connection,” Scott rationalized remembering the state of his relationship with Logan before the trials.

“I was lost and…we got drunk or rather he did, and he told me everything. He fucked up Slim. He made a huge mistake—one that maybe he didn’t deserve to be forgiven for. What he attempted to do with his granddaughter regardless of how noble it might seem to the outside world wasn’t his choice to make. He had no right to attempt to study her the way he did and…”

“His son refused him the opportunity finish with his so-called altruistic attempts at making a name for himself in the medical world. He could’ve found other means of accomplishing his goals that didn’t include his granddaughter,” Scott finished considering Logan’s words, “But somehow Norm wasn’t satisfied with that outcome, right?”

“No, he wasn’t, but he didn’t have a choice in the matter,” Logan spoke up behind gritted teeth, “His son was adamant about her not being a test subject and his son was right Slim. He only wanted to protect his daughter. Regardless of how I feel about my history with Norm, his actions were wrong. His ambitions clouded his judgment, but once he lost his family…it changed him…”

“I’m just surprised that he would share all of that with you given that the truth would make you less inclined to trust him,” Scott pondered aloud.

“He didn’t have any other options in finding her. A full disclosure was his only option in the matter at that point,” Logan answered readily moving around the area to pack up his fishing gear. With a sigh he knelt beside the box he’d brought with him before looking up at Scott again, “I might judge him for his actions back then, but Norm understood that his mistake wouldn’t stop me from helping her. She was my top priority in this. He did something that he felt was for the greater good, but ultimately it cost him everything that mattered. His son cut him out of his life completely moving far away from here and…”

“Norm’s been dealing with the resentment over having the potential for his greatest victory in his hands, but being unable to share it with the rest of the world,” Scott thought aloud taking in his lover’s words, “Knowing what his granddaughter is capable of…”

“It doesn’t matter what she’s capable of because he could never find her once they left,” Logan offered up with a small shrug. He carefully set his fishing equipment aside before grabbing a beer out of the box he’d been searching through. Twisting on his side, he sat down on the blanket he’d spread out earlier in the afternoon when he and Scott had walked away from the farm. Now with the beer in his hand, he nodded for Scott to take a seat beside him.

“What do you mean?” Scott questioned bridging the distance between them. He set his fishing rod next to Logan’s, carefully leaning it up against a large stone formation before dropping down to the other open patch of blanket beside Logan.

“They up and disappeared on him Slim,” Logan let out an ironic laugh. He reached into the box and pulled out another beer, “For all the good that Norm did in this world, he turned his back on his family in the name of science. That was something I don’t think he’s ever been able to truly forgive himself for.”

“In some cases,” Scott hesitated watching Logan extend his arm to offer the beer to him, “people aren’t worthy of forgiveness.”

“Everyone is worthy of forgiveness,” Logan answered nudging Scott to accept the beer again, “especially if they atoned for their sins.”

“Some sins are unforgivable,” Scott’s voice grew distant. He reached for the beer that Logan was holding sensing the unspoken words that lingered between them both. Feeling Logan’s fingers over his, Scott expelled a sharp breath before turning his attention to the pond they’d been fishing in earlier.

“We aren’t talking about your sins Slim,” Logan softened his tone.

“I know, but maybe we should be,” Scott nodded twisting the cap off his beer bottle. He raised it to his lips and took a long, hard swig knowing only too well that he wouldn’t be as forgiving to himself as Logan had been about his actions.

“What you did…” Logan’s words trailed off as Scott swallowed down his beer, “What you’re continuing to do to yourself Slim…it’s not worth the pain you’re causing yourself.”

“I did a lot of horrible things Logan,” Scott sighed lowering his head to discover Logan’s hand curved loosely over his inner thigh resting gently over the material of Scott’s neatly pressed slacks, “The way I hurt the other you…”

“He wasn’t exactly sin free himself Scott. I know because for most of his life I was with him and we were, in all honesty, shitty people,” Logan curled his fingers over Scott’s thigh offering up a supportive squeeze, attempting to pull Scott out of his head long enough to focus on their conversation with one another.

Without analyzing it, Scott touched the top of Logan’s fingers with his own simply immersing himself in the warmth of their connection. His fingertips faintly outlined the place where Logan’s claws regularly exposed themselves. The light touch caused Logan’s body to tremble beneath the darkness, giving in to impulse only instead of responding in anger, Logan’s hands were at ease clutching at Scott’s thigh in a loving, intimate gesture surrounded an emotion Scott was yet to vocalize. In the grand scheme of things their touch was unquestionably inconsequential, but in knowing how long it had taken to reach the place where they could just touch one another without any thought of discourse, Scott found himself savoring the meaning behind the gesture.

“He didn’t deserve that,” Scott dismissed Logan’s absolution of his sins. He withdrew his hand from Logan’s reach and turned away knowing that his culpability rejected his need for Logan’s reprieve.

“Neither do you,” Logan responded blatantly reaching out to caress the side of Scott’s face. He beckoned Scott to him with the soft curve of his index finger over the edge of Scott’s dark hairline proposing Scott give in to Logan’s silent appeal. Concerned Logan’s lips curved downward revealing lines of tension when he eased in closer to Scott, “You can’t keep hating yourself for a mistake you made when you were denying your heart.”

“I, in turn, denied his all because I’m too stubborn to just…” Scott’s words were interrupted by the merciful, demonstrative press of Logan’s lips over his. The kiss was meant to silence Scott’s loathing words and still his tortured thoughts, but with every tease and tender nip, Scott analyzed the truth in his own intentions behind seducing the other Logan. For an instant desire rolled over his body, licking over his senses with each sweeping tease of Logan’s tongue within the warm confines of his mouth, growing in intensity until that moment when Logan’s thumb grazed over Scott’s cheekbone. Sensation rolled over Scott’s skin, spreading warmth over his body holding him captive to the emotion until he reluctantly pulled away easing back to his side of the blanket.

“Norm’s mistake was far worse than any you could dream of coming up with,” Logan continued with a sigh sensing Scott’s need for space after their kiss. Raising his beer to his lips, he took down a long, hard swallow before looking to the campfire once again, “When his son…Kevin…decided to leave he went for help after he discovered what Norm was doing. Given the kind of pull his father had, Kevin wanted a clean break. He started a new life away from Norm and all of this and…”

“And?” Scott questioned returning his focus to Logan’s words.

“It is my understanding that at the time Chuck suppressed the girl’s powers upon Kevin’s request,” Logan shuddered when the words fell from his lips. He twisted on the ground beside Scott watching as Scott processed his words.

“Are you saying that…?” Scott’s words trailed off. With a coil of tightness centering over his abdomen at his mentor’s involvement on Logan’s mission, he leaned in to listen further.

“Chuck was Kevin’s last hope. Chuck witnessed what she was truly capable of. He volunteered to help her control her powers. Chuck even offered them refuge at the school, but Kevin refused. Kevin wanted a new life away from the dangers surrounding our kind, so Chuck honored Kevin’s request to keep his daughter safe,” Logan raised his chin up to look at Scott once again. His face was cloaked in shadows, much like the details of Logan’s assignment had been up until that point in time, “Charles suppressed her powers after they’d emerged hoping that in doing so…”

“…he’d keep anyone from finding her,” Scott realized when another thought carried over him, “or having her finding out about herself much like he did with me after I lost control in Canada.”

“It wasn’t an optimal situation, but as you know in doing something for the right reasons sometimes the lines are blurred and…” Logan opened his mouth to say something when Scott’s frown intensified.

“Did Norm tell you all of this?” Scott asked weighing out Logan’s words.

“Chuck confirmed it right before I went into the trials with Markus,” Logan finished somberly.

“Then you’re saying that Charles was aware that…”

“…I was trying to discover what happened to a lost teenage girl when she got involved with Markus and Euphoria. The plan was to help her before anyone else found a way to exploit or hurt her any further,” Logan answered with a heavy breath. He brought his hand up over the back of his neck rubbing at the tension that formed there, “and now we’re here.”

“In the home of the man that invited you in to begin with,” Scott let the words sink in with a scowl, “Pretending that everything is okay when we both know that…”

“Slim, I don’t think everything is okay. I don’t think we’re even close to okay where Markus is concerned,” Logan continued solemnly. His hand squeezed over Scott’s thigh again pulling their focus back to each other, “but what I do know is that together we are stronger than any opposition we’ve faced. Being here is simply because it’s close. Here we have access to what we need to get through this mission. I realized that there are details that we still need to discuss—things that are pertinent to our course of action moving forward. After Natasha paid me a visit in the hospital, I realized that being here was a step in the right direction for the investigation ahead of us. I know every inch of this property by heart, but beyond that there’s something else that we need to talk about that I’m not really sure how to handle myself considering that…”

“I don’t trust Norm,” Scott clarified stating his beliefs to Logan. He braced himself for Logan’s disappointment when he let out a slow, uneasy breath, “Even with what he’s shared with you, it only further fuels my belief that the man is shady Logan. He’s duplicitous at best and without any concern beyond his own agenda.”

“I still believe that somewhere inside of him he’s a decent man who has made poor choices brought on by the hand that has been dealt to him. I’m not saying that your instincts are wrong Slim,” Logan insisted knowing only too well that the justification in his words would be hard to convey to his lover, “but at the same time he realizes the weight of his mistakes.”

“Does he?” Scott challenged angling his head to question Logan’s belief in the man who’d offered them a haven from the rest of the world, “Does he really want to repent for his actions?”

“He knows what they’ve cost him,” Logan explained with a shake of his head. He raised his beer to his lips again swallowing down hard before speaking up, “However, that’s irrelevant to what happens next. After his granddaughter was hospitalized recovering from wherever she was taken, she wanted nothing to do with him. He’s tried to reach out to her, but she isn’t having it. She never knew the depth of the betrayal her father experienced with Norm, but she knows enough to stay far away from him.”

“Where is she now?” Scott questioned taking another drink of his beer.

“After her release records indicate that she’s safe staying with a friend from what I understand,” Logan shrugged leaning back against the rock he’d propped himself against earlier, “The friend’s parents had worked out an agreement with Kevin and his wife should anything happen to them. In their will it seems that…”

“They knew that something horrible would follow their escape,” Scott shuddered at the thought of what Logan was saying to him, “Did Norm tell you what exactly happened to them?”

“He wasn’t clear on the details of the situation, but he mentioned it was an accident,” Logan explained quietly looking to the campfire before them. The flames picked up with the winds bringing with it a slow building warmth when the night began to close in upon them in stealing some of the light the day had provided in their retreat, “At the time Norm reached out to me when he was talking about Kevin, he was torn up about it. They had bad blood between them, but Kevin was still his son and…”

“Did you…?” Scott couldn’t help, but question when Logan’s face clouded over with emotion, “Did you know his son well?”

“I did,” Logan lowered his head somberly, “He was a good kid. He was no more than a boy himself when I left here…”

“So then when you and Norm were together…” Scott’s words trailed off thinking about all Logan had revealed to him.

“I told you that I wasn’t always a decent guy Slim,” Logan clarified with an uneasiness resonating in his voice, “I’ve done things that some would say I shouldn’t be forgiven for either. Given that Norm had a family and I blew that out of the water when I arrived…”

“Hey,” Scott reached out to squeeze at Logan’s bicep, gripping it with his fingers just enough to offer his support.

“Kevin was a good kid—a fun kid,” Logan let out a small laugh, “He was full of questions and always demanded answers. He was smart like his pop, but there was always this distance between him and Norm even back then. I could never quite figure it out though. A part of me assumed that it was because of me being around—that perhaps Kevin had picked up on the tension between his mom and his pop over my presence, but…”

“What?” Scott gently questioned.

“I think there was more to it. Maybe it was just a personality clash,” Logan shrugged raising his chin up to focus on Scott’s inquisitive features, “I was surprised when I learned that Kevin became a doctor himself. He seemed more interested in discovering the world around him and being one with nature. We used to go out fishing here at the pond and…”

“The three of you?” Scott asked quietly rubbing his fingers over Logan’s bicep.

“Sometimes, but mostly Kevin and me. I think the kid was looking for a friend,” Logan admitted quietly, “With being the only little one with a bunch of angry adults around, I think he just wanted to be free to explore.”

“And you provided him that freedom?” Scott noted with the first hints of curious amusement in his tone.

“Most of the time I’m much better at fishing than we were this afternoon,” Logan divulged twisting on the blanket beside him, “I tend to at least get a bite when I make an honest effort.”

“Then what was tonight?” Scott leaned in closer to him.

“My way of getting us away from whatever it is that lingers over the both of us back in the house,” Logan admitted reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face, “The last thing I wanted to do was make you uncomfortable especially now.”

“Nothing we do is going to make me comfortable at this point,” Scott explained freely giving himself to Logan’s fingers upon his skin. He closed his eyes behind his glasses struggling with the thoughts that consumed him in their journey together, “Given we have a target on our backs…”

“We have a lot to overcome before we can find true peace,” Logan agreed bringing his arm around Scott’s shoulders to coax him into leaning in against Logan’s powerful chest. When Scott hadn’t refused, Logan’s arm squeezed tighter around Scott’s lean frame enveloping Scott in his warmth, “but while we’re here, I was hoping that maybe we could work on resolving the problems we’ve been experiencing.”

“With Markus?” Scott probed languidly bringing his hand up over the midpoint of Logan’s abdomen in a gentle massage.

“Among other things,” Logan nodded kissing the top of Scott’s head, “When I set out on this mission, I had intended to help an old friend discover what happened to his granddaughter. When Norm told me about her powers, it was no longer about Norm’s plight. It was about discovering what happened to that girl Slim.”

“But you said she was located right before you entered the trials,” Scott’s fingers squeezed at the fabric of Logan’s shirt. He rubbed a tiny button beneath his fingertip when Logan’s arm constricted further.

“With no memory of what happened to her. By the time she was in the hospital I was well on my way into the trials. Plus, I wasn’t entirely convinced what happened to Kevin and his wife was as straightforward as what Norm alluded to. He was vague with the details but knowing that Kevin worked so hard to keep his daughter away from people like Markus.”

“You suspect foul play in their deaths,” Scott finished raising his chin up just enough to seek out Logan’s expression.

Logan nodded earnestly, “Don’t you after what I’ve told you?”

“Without a doubt,” Scott nodded settling in over Logan’s chest once again. The soft breeze surrounded them, casting a soft hum in the night beyond where they sat together beside the burning campfire, “What about Norm?”

“He’s concerned about what it is that brought Markus to his granddaughter in the first place,” Logan quietly explained. He pushed his fingertips into the edge of Scott’s dark hair, catching the way that the shadows from the campfire’s flames bounced off his skin. With a sigh, he stretched his right arm out, reaching for his beer his hand opting instead to return to drinking it.

“Then with us being here…” Scott concluded reluctantly breaking the physical connection between them in sitting upright and gripping the neck of his own beer bottle.

“It’s me doing what I can to help that girl because I owe it to her pop. He might be gone, but Kevin would want his daughter safe. He deserves that much Slim,” Logan offered up with a heavy sigh, “I couldn’t spare him the pain and suffering that he found in his life, but I can help keep his girl safe even if means putting myself out there to make it happen.”

“And Norm?

“All of this is Norm’s way of making up for the worst mistake of his life,” Logan continued with a shake of his head. Extending his legs out further, Logan repositioned himself on the blanket eager to make himself more comfortable in their quiet haven away from the farmhouse, “He knows that he can’t ever undo the damage he’s done in drawing attention to his granddaughter’s situation. Considering his research could’ve very well been the key to putting his granddaughter on the map where Markus was concerned, he knows he must somehow make amends. If Markus could get his hands on her…”

“…then he’d finally be able to overcome the physical limitations that keep Markus from being truly free to enter into humanity again,” Scott finished weighing upon Logan’s words with a hard swallow of his beer.

“Markus might crave immortality, but there’s a part of him that wants nothing more than to be human again,” Logan lamented shifting on the blanket again. His focus was on the rising flames before him, popping and cracking with the wood burning at its base, “When I entered into the trials, I took a preliminary look at what was happening with the Euphoria and the volunteers on the outside, but…”

“You had no idea what was truly happening until you were on the inside,” Scott encouraged him to continue with a squeeze of his fingers over Logan’s thigh. It prompted Logan to place his hand down over Scott’s interlacing their fingers. A few seconds of comfortable silence passed between them leading Logan to observe Scott beneath the moonlight.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. had their own purpose for keeping the Euphoria production going. They thought they were going to find a tool to eradicate potential threats, but they were merely providing a monster with the means of becoming immortal,” Logan continued looking over to the fire again, “They saw Markus as a means of offering them the world, but Markus has taken the knowledge that they have bestowed upon him and used it as a tool for conquering it—for cheating death…”

“Like he’s seen you do through the years of observation you’d been placed in,” Scott pondered the thought aloud when Logan’s fingers constricted around his, “He’s watched you heal and repair yourself and…”

“He ain’t after me Slim,” Logan pointed out with an unsettling frown. Sitting up straighter, Logan released Scott’s hand and cleared his throat. His expression shifted moving away from the contemplative words he’d been weighing out in their conversation with each other, “I’m not the anomaly in his system. I’m old news, but you…you’re what pulled him in.”

“He has no idea that I’m…” Scott’s words trailed off knowing only too well that his secret could be a potential threat to the success of the mission that they were on together, “We all worked hard to keep that contained Logan. After Canada, Charles ensured that no one had any idea that…”

“Imagine what Markus would do with that knowledge if he was made aware of what you’re harboring inside of you,” Logan added quietly. Lost in contemplation his hands dropped down to his lap, wiggling his fingers when a breeze carried over them, “You’ve spent all this time worrying about me Slim, but I’m not the target anymore. I’m not the one who has been marked by a madman. You are and if our being here away from the rest of the world will keep you safe a little while longer, then we have to run with it.”

“Logan, I understand that Markus is trying to match wits with me, but…” Scott attempted to dissuade Logan’s concerns.

“There are no buts in this. He’s not only trying to match you Slim. He’s attempting to find a loophole that will open up the door to overpowering you in this twisted game of his,” Logan informed him solemnly. Raising his chin up Scott could see Logan’s feared revealed behind the depths of his eyes when their conversation returned to the man who’d been attempting to hunt them down, “Markus only plays to win and…”

“I don’t intend to lose,” Scott answered readily reaching out to squeeze Logan’s arm if only to prove his presence at Logan’s side, “and to do that I have to know all the angles I’m working with.”

“Then know that Norm wants to take Markus down just as much as we do if not more,” Logan attempted to assure him when the quiet contemplation gave way to the first lines of apprehension that carried over his features. It was rare to see Logan in such a state, but beside the campfire it seemed to age him considerably with the weight of his thoughts, “With his granddaughter’s disappearance and his son’s death, there’s not one thing in the world that will stop Norm from keeping her safe even if it means taking Markus on as a potential enemy.”

“As long as Markus is out there Logan none of us are safe. He isn’t operating within the limitations the rest of us are working with. He has an agenda that I don’t think any of us can truly begin to understand,” Scott spoke up behind gritted teeth. Remembering his last interaction with Markus, Scott tensed up beside Logan knowing full well they had a long, hard road ahead of them, “The longer he can grow and evolve, the harder it will be for anyone to take him down.”

“But he thinks you can Slim,” Logan acquiesced. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped short in moving away from Scott. Shuffling to his feet, he stood upright with the nervous energy that carried over his body. He slouched away from the blanket, moving in closer to the water as Scott instinctively followed his lead. With their words between them, Scott reached out to touch Logan’s shoulder. It caused him to stiffen beneath the touch before Logan rotated around to face Scott again. With a pensive expression on his face, Logan leaned in closer to Scott when an unexpected seriousness carried over him, “which is why he dared you to try to take him on.”

“And you doubt that I can, right?” Scott questioned when Logan touched the side of his face.

“On the contrary, I’m well aware of your ability to destroy him if need be,” Logan acknowledged sliding his fingers into Scott’s thick, dark hair. Coaxing Scott in closer to him, Logan’s words hit home with the apprehension that formed deep within, “I’m just afraid of what could happen to you should you be foolish enough to try.”

“Logan, I’m not…” Scott’s lips parted in protest, hoping to assuage his lover’s concerns, but when Logan’s thumb pressed over the center of Scott’s plump lips, Scott returned to silence.

“Fragile? Weak?” Logan questioned sliding his right arm around Scott’s waist in an urgent, possessive movement, “Caught up in something that neither one of us know how to control?”

“It isn’t about control,” Scott argued feeling his face grow flushed in Logan’s embrace.

“Isn’t it?” Logan leaned in closer allowing his breath to carry through the night onto Scott easing through the barriers that persisted between them.

“Logan, the last thing I want to feel is…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip to suppress the scowl threatening to reveal itself.

“Helpless?” Logan finished for him knowingly. His eyes were divided by concern and desire, caught up in things that they’d held back on saying to one another despite their newfound closeness, “Yeah, I get that Slim, but let’s be honest here. If anyone would try to exploit the power inside of you, it’s a man like Markus. If he tried to move in on Norm’s granddaughter knowing what she’s capable of, what do you think he would do in realizing all that you are?”

“Logan I…” Scott’s words tapered off when Logan’s voice cracked with emotion. His parted lips dipped in closer to Scott sending a rush of warmth upon him, reaching deep inside of that place that was reserved for Logan alone as they stood together beside the darkened pond.

“I refuse to lose you to a madman who is sticking around longer than he should’ve been. I’m not going to let him take you,” Logan revealed in a shivering exhale inching in dangerously close to Scott’s eager lips. With minimal effort they could return to one another in a kiss, caught up in the feelings that the nearness created inside of them, yet both held back unable to break past the invisible wall when the threat of Markus lingered in the night upon them.

“What if neither one of us have a choice?” Scott questioned angling his head to meet Logan’s eyes underneath the moonlight. His heart was racing, his mind already creating erotic pictures of the man beside him, imagining him naked and hard, ready to envelop Scott in his embrace stealing his worries away for the night—for their time together underneath the stars. Swallowing down hard, Scott fought his instinct to simply surrender as Logan held onto him.

“There’s always a choice Slim. I’ll be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to try to keep you from killing yourself along the way,” Logan decided to end the agonizing distance between them. He dipped down to claim Scott’s mouth in a reckless, impassioned kiss.

As their lips collided, Scott flung his arms around Logan’s shoulders, gripping onto the man who’d worked his way into Scott’s turmoiled life without question or demand. Underneath the moonlight their mouths aligned, bodies pressed up against each other, warm and volatile unable to deny that raging passion brewing beneath the surface. It was hot and wild, frenzied and out of control in ways that Scott had fought like hell to deny that he’d needed in his life. With every teasing touch, he wanted nothing more to surrender—to offer himself to the promise of Logan’s protection, but with the threat of Markus imminent Scott was at odds with himself in his surrender.

“Logan, that’s not what I…” Scott’s words vibrated against Logan’s mouth as they held onto one another.

“Yes, you are,” Logan nipped at Scott’s bottom lip, doing his best to draw Scott fully into his embrace, “You’re so ready to sacrifice yourself that you don’t see just how much you stand to lose in becoming a part of all of this.”

“Logan, I promise you that…” Scott’s words vibrated against Logan’s lips hoping to find a way to convey the thoughts that carried over him.

“Shhh…” Logan silenced Scott’s words with another aching kiss, “Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. I know what kind of danger you’re ready to place yourself into Slim.”

“No more than I can handle,” Scott argued holding Logan tighter than before.

“We both know that’s not true,” Logan countered pressing his fingers up and over Scott’s spine, tracing his slender frame with careful consideration, “You’re on the verge of destruction if you don’t find a way to reel yourself back in. We both know that.”

“What I know is that Markus almost stole you from my life Logan,” Scott confessed in a painful admission, “To think of what I would’ve done if I’d lost you in that warehouse…”

“Stop hating yourself Slim,” Logan pleaded desperately, “Stop thinking that you mean so little to the world that you can be a martyr just to keep the rest of us safe. We don’t need you to die for your life to hold meaning.”

“Logan, that’s not…” Scott choked up as Logan held his face in his hands.

“I love you Slim and I would do anything to protect you even if it meant saving you from yourself,” Logan promised tracing the pads of his thumbs over the hollow in Scott’s cheekbones.

“Who’s going to save you from me Logan?” Scott probed in a trembling voice, “When I inevitably crack, who will protect you from the madness I house inside of me?”

“We’ll save each other,” Logan vowed coaxing Scott’s lips to his in another desperate, urgent kiss caught up in emotion.

With hands roaming over each other, Scott found himself falling harder. Lost in the moment of surrender, Scott acknowledged the enthralling ways in which Logan had climbed the walls to reach him. Scott was beyond denying that he was mesmerized by the hold they had upon each other in ways that were forbidden before they’d encountered this nightmare mission. In Logan’s kiss, it was the first sign of reprieve, guiding Scott away from his painful past to something that resembled forgiveness with a man who’d convinced him to open himself up to love again.

In Logan’s caress, Scott had finally found freedom. He’d acquired a reason to keep on pushing forward, but his sense of self-loathing had always been there beneath the surface serving as a reminder of his treacherous actions from days gone by. It kept him from moving on, from letting go, but with Logan’s arms around him cajoling him to simply relinquish his dark path, Scott was longing to surrender to the delicious temptation Logan presented him.

With each salty taste and warm breath exchanged between them, Scott held on tighter, breathing into Logan the life that Scott had denied himself for so very long at arm’s length distanced from the rest of the world. Now with Logan’s arms around him, Scott was surrounded by Logan’s strength, by Logan’s love for him in ways he’d never anticipated when he’d forced himself to remain tucked away from the rest of the world. The freedom Logan offered him was frighteningly wonderful with each slow, tender press of Logan’s mouth against his, protective and urgent, longing to convey so many words unspoken to Scott in their time together beneath the autumn evening.

“Logan?” Scott breathed as they grudgingly separated underneath the stars.

“We should probably head back inside. It’s getting chilly out here,” Logan ran his fingers up and over Scott’s arms in a small attempt at providing warmth to his lover. With a nod he motioned to the campfire that they’d started a short while earlier, “I’ll just put that out and then we can…”

“No wait,” Scott pleaded holding Logan tighter as he attempted to pull away.

“What?” Logan questioned as Scott’s arms surrounded Logan’s waist.

“Not yet. I don’t want to go back to the house tonight. At least not now,” Scott admitted enfolding his arms around Logan tighter than before, “I like it better out here.”

“I’m not denying that it’s peaceful in this spot, but we’re going to freeze if we don’t get back soon. It gets cool down by the water like this after hours and the boathouse isn’t much in terms of shelter so…,” Logan mouthed stealing another kiss from Scott again.

“We can keep each other warm,” Scott beseeched pressing forward to claim Logan’s mouth in another urgent, imploring kiss. Easing his fingers over Logan’s ribcage to trace the firm, solid muscle beneath the fabric that served as a barrier between them, Scott held on tight hoping to persuade Logan to see his point of view, “If you’re interested that is…”

“Slim, are you saying that…?” Logan nipped at Scott’s lower lip before drawing back to take in what Scott’s response to him.

“I think I’m ready to take my chances tonight where I stand. Knowing that out here we’re on our own terms with only each other beneath the moonlight, I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Scott confessed in a low, sultry whisper. His index finger curled over the tiny button on Logan’s shirt, flicking over the opening in the material beneath his touch.

“You say that now, but…” Logan held back attempting to keep a level head. His jaw flexed with tension, his body rigid with desire when Scott’s hand lingered over Logan’s abdomen to push against the oversized belt buckle level with his hips, “You’re playing with fire Slim…”

“Then we won’t have to worry about the cold,” Scott mused suggestively exploring the hardened lines of Logan’s body through the soft shirt fabric. Deftly his fingers plucked open a couple of buttons located near the center of Logan’s shirt just below his breastbone, creating an opening for his hand to slip inside.

“Slim…” Logan practically growled at the lust that carried over him with Scott’s touch.

“You’re creative,” Scott licked his lips when his fingers pressed inside of the crimson colored material to explore the warmth of Logan’s hair dusted muscle beneath the moonlight, “I’m sure you’ll think of something to keep us from succumbing to the cold.”

With a low moan Logan relented, giving way to the beast within. Hungrily his mouth captured Scott’s naughty lips silencing any suggestive words that might be meant to persuade him into giving in to temptation. His arm curled greedily around Scott’s torso drawing Scott in nearer when Scott’s curious fingers traced a pattern over Logan’s warm contours.

“Now that you mention it, I have been known to find ways to make the most out of every situation I’ve found myself in,” Logan’s arms pulled Scott in against his chest, roughly squeezing his hard palms up over Scott’s spine. With each tentative touch, Scott edged in closer, pressing up against Logan’s broad, muscular chest with urgency bristling over his skin.

“I trust you’ll keep me warm,” Scott murmured depositing a feathery light kiss over the side of Logan’s neck. With a mischievous flick of his tongue and a slow graze of his teeth over Logan’s flesh, his hands gave way to a newfound freedom, peeling Logan’s shirt apart and exploring the contours of Logan’s chest beneath his touch.

“Are we really doing this here?” Logan questioned in between labored breaths. His fingers hooked around Scott’s hips, guiding Scott in flush against him. Wordlessly his hands tapered off over Scott’s bottom offering up a strong, solid squeeze that prompted Scott to wrap his leg around Logan’s hips to draw Logan nearer.

“Yeah,” Scott confessed parting his lips further to invite Logan inside. His roaming hands eased Logan’s shirt apart further using expert precision to peel the material away from Logan’s body, opening Logan up to his hand’s eager explorations, “we’re doing this.”

“Here?” Logan questioned nipping at Scott’s eager, frantic mouth.

“Right here,” Scott practically moaned tearing Logan’s shirt down over his shoulder to reveal Logan’s warm, welcoming flesh. He crushed his hips forward to entice Logan with deliberate, undulating rotations, “underneath the moon with the stars surrounding us, taking in our every teasing touch.”

“Scott, I don’t know if here is really what I had in mind considering that…” Logan’s hesitation revealed itself as his body responded to Scott’s urgency with a shift of his body to meet Scott’s movements.

“It’s perfect,” Scott whispered encouragingly. He pushed up on his toes angling himself just enough to sink his teeth into Logan’s earlobe.

“Slim…” Logan growled.

“It’s perfect,” Scott repeated with a scorching, damp flick of his tongue over the shell of Logan’s ear, not bothering to censor his actions. His hands dropped down over Logan’s bottom gripping tightly before pressing a kiss against Logan’s neck.

“Is it?” Logan questioned nuzzling his nose against the side of Scott’s neck.

“Yeah. I want to feel your body against mine, over me, inside of me touching that place that only reveals itself to you alone,” Scott slurred in a haze, goading Logan to keep touching him, to readily accept the words he was saying, “I want you to make love to me.”

“Slim,” Logan breathed pulling Scott up higher against his chest, coaxing Scott to surround him as their kisses grew in intensity, expanding with each teasing taste and tender press. With Scott’s arms around Logan’s shoulders, Logan clumsily maneuvered himself around the terrain considering their surroundings when he dropped down onto his knee. He kept Scott in his arms, leaning forward long enough to coax Scott to stretch out across the blanket he’d provided for their time together by the pond.

“Please Logan,” Scott mouthed arching his head back to offer his neck to Logan. Readily Logan’s lips found their way over his pulse point, to gently lick and suction, to feel the life force burning inside of Scott as Scott’s thigh surrounded him, “I want to feel all of you with me.”

“I want this to be perfect Slim because I’ve waited so long for you to feel this,” Logan mouthed tearing his lips away from Scott’s. Panting, he centered himself pushing up on his arms to observe Scott before him stretched out without hesitation or fear guiding his actions.

“So have I,” Scott promised pulling Logan down upon him again, claiming Logan’s mouth in a series of exploratory, drawn out kisses until finally his hands were working frantically to wrench Logan’s stubborn red plaid shirt over his arms, urgently peeling it away from his biceps.

“I just don’t want you to regret this…” Logan half pleaded caught up in lust and desire. He hovered over Scott, body rigid with tension and yearning when Scott reached for him.

“I won’t,” Scott promised. His lips and teeth marked Logan’s skin freshly revealed beneath the moonlight, peeling away at the layers between them until they were stretched out against each other naked and waiting for something that they’d denied themselves earlier in the day.

“I love you,” Logan whispered kissing Scott again, leaving no patch of skin untouched, no inch of his glorious mouth ignored in drawing out every sensation.

“Mmm…” sound escaped Scott’s lips. His hands were entrenched in Logan’s hair, guiding his movements when Logan deposited kisses over Scott’s shoulder, taking his time to trace his mouth over Scott’s distinct collar bone, “Logan…”

Logan’s lips charting a path over Scott’s body causing Scott to arch his head back and moan caught up in the primitive nature of being in the wild. Surrounded by the evening air and trees underneath the full moon illuminated by the darkened sky upon them, they’d found freedom with one another naked and wrapped up in each other’s touch. With an arch of his back, Scott relinquished control offering himself to Logan without boundaries. He gripped at the soft throw blanket beneath him losing himself to the way Logan’s lips surrounded him, persistent and teasing over his skin, working an erotic melody over his body.

When Logan’s teeth grazed his nipple, Scott moaned desperately gripping at Logan’s shoulders encouraging Logan to continue his erotic explorations. Each demonstrative bite and urgent lick had Scott coiling on the blanket beneath Logan, losing himself to the damp teasing kisses Logan deposited over his skin, sparing no detail in exploring every inch of Scott’s body spread out before him. As Logan’s deposited tiny kisses over Scott’s hip, Scott’s fingers twisted Logan’s hair tighter, guiding Logan lower to the one place that craved his lover’s touch.

“Logan…” Scott spoke his name caught up in the freedom Logan’s touch had provided him.

“Patience,” Logan’s words vibrated over Scott’s abdomen causing goosebumps to form over his flesh when Logan withdrew from his teasing caresses to gaze at Scott beneath the moonlight.

Whimpering Scott pulled himself up to a seated position to reach out to his lover only to feel Logan kneel in between Scott’s thighs. His large hands gripped the side of Scott’s face, coaxing Scott to look at him, to really see the man before him when their lips collided igniting the spark burning beneath the surface. With each loving kiss and every teasing touch the warmth of their bodies together contrasted the cool night air, drawing forth realization of the unspoken promise they’d made to one another. 

“Logan,” Scott held onto Logan’s face, keeping Logan’s lips to coax him to surrender. Together they made their slow recline back over the blanket, to return to each other without boundaries between them. With his thighs surrounding Logan’s hips, Scott rotated his body, alerting Logan to his arousal when a cool breeze swept over them.

“Slim, maybe we should reconsider going back inside before…” Logan broke their kiss silently searching for the truth behind his lover’s guarded features.

“I want you,” Scott whispered so quietly Logan thought he’d imagined it, but before he could question it Scott was pulling him forward, coaxing Logan’s lips to sweet surrender. His hands were moving over the planes of Logan’s body, descending slowly over his abdomen, index fingers trailing over Logan’s hips until Scott flattened his palm out over Logan’s taut bottom for a slight squeeze. Reaching between them, Scott guided his fingers over Logan’s inner thigh sliding upward until finally he cupped and held Logan’s body, feeling the heat of Logan’s arousal pressing into his thigh. With his firm grip, Scott angled his face to watch Logan’s expression shift, to see the struggle behind the tension in his jawline, to witness the way Scott had captivated Logan beneath the moonlight lost in the yearning between them.

“Then have me Slim,” Logan stretched his arm out across the blanket reaching for the small basket he’d brought with them. Clumsily fumbling inside Logan withdrew a small bottle and a condom package all the while doing his best to control his shaking fingers at the thought of what they were entering into with one another. Sex had always been easy, but this…this was something more as Scott’s free hand reached out to capture Logan’s wrist.

“Let me help,” Scott half pleaded behind flushed features. He extracted the condom from Logan’s fingers, placing it in his own palm before he pushed his left hand up over Logan’s shoulder. With a small nudge, he coaxed Logan to slide onto the blanket beside him.

Wordlessly Logan complied allowing Scott the opportunity to take control of their time together, to capture Logan’s attention with every skilled caress his fingers made upon Logan’s hardened ache. With the first slide of Scott’s fist over Logan’s body, Logan arched his head back revealing a small snarl. His body twisted, hips pushing up off the ground. With each firm stroke Logan revealed the animal within, undulating upon Scott’s urgings until finally Scott reached for the bottle in Logan’s hand.

“Allow me,” Logan pleaded with raw desperation. Together he and Scott opened the lid of the bottle, clumsily pouring some of its contents out over Logan’s palm. With a determined shift of his hand, Logan left a thin slick trail over Scott’s hip before circling around to push his lubricated fingers over the crease of Scott’s swelled bottom. With a careful press, Logan guided his index finger into Scott’s opening, watching Scott recoil with urgency upon the invasion. He cried out to the night, unrestrained when Logan began to make himself at home, carefully stretching and surrounding Scott with temptation.

“That feels good,” Scott confessed rocking his hips over Logan’s body. He pushed forward before easing back onto Logan’s fingers, greedily pleasing himself. With each movement he made, his moans grew louder. His shaking fingers tore into the condom package as Logan’s hands made strides in pleasing him. Caught up in the moonlight, Scott ceased movement over Logan, aligning the condom over Logan’s hard arousal. Taking his time to roll it out over Logan’s length, Scott carefully stretched it out and secured it over his lover’s desire until that moment when Scott sat upright staring down at the man who’d consumed his thoughts and dreams for so very long.

“You have no idea how much I want you,” Scott breathed in a shivering exhale. His body trembled, his thighs surrounding Logan when Logan’s fingers fell away from Scott’s opening in favor of allowing Scott to reposition himself over Logan’s lap, perched upon the tip of Logan’s arousal. With a small exhale, he carefully lowered himself down upon Logan, enveloping Logan inside of him inch by excruciating inch until finally Scott was seated over his hips.

“Slim,” Logan released a harsh breath, tracing the contours of Scott’s body with the bottom of his palm, watching as each caress caused Scott to arch and twist, reveling in Logan’s exploratory touch. His thighs gripped harder over Logan’s hips, sealing their union with another urgent twist, rocking ever so slightly over Logan’s body now buried fully inside of him.

“Logan,” Scott mouthed placing his palms over Logan’s chest, spreading his fingers out and taking in every inch of his lover beneath the moonlight, ready and waiting to explore the one barrier they’d still kept between them after their time together. With a shift of Scott’s hips, he pushed up on his knees dragging himself up over Logan’s length until they were on the verge of a state of disconnect. There was something in the night, in the air around them that persuaded Logan to reach out and drag Scott down over him again. With the change in positioning, Scott began unabashedly moaning and crying out at the feel of Logan’s body within his. Sitting upright, Logan reached for Scott’s waist, pulling Scott flush against his chest, simply holding their bodies together aligned beneath the stars. His kisses tapered off over Scott’s shoulder, his breath skimming over Scott’s breastbone when Scott’s arms surrounded the broad expanse of Logan’s shoulders squeezing desperately.

“Make love to me,” Scott practically choked on the words, whimpering as they fell from his lips and knowing only too well what their meaning held for them. With Logan’s fingertips trailing over Scott’s spine, providing soft, soothing motions with their slow circles over his skin, Scott’s head to tipped back reveling in his lover’s touch. Logan’s kisses carried over Scott’s skin when Scott pulled himself up onto his knees again, rocking his hips forward only to come crashing down over Logan’s body. He repeated the process over and over until finally Logan’s grip on his hips constricted, his mouth claiming Scott’s in a kiss when the sound of the winds around them caused a cool contrast to their connection.

“Please,” Scott’s fingers squeezed harder into Logan’s spine. He embraced the hard, sinewy lines of muscle, allowing his fingertips to press and grip harder than he’d anticipated. His lips were parted, body rocking over Logan in slow, restrained movements, reveling in every inch of his lover, hoping to savor the sensation. With Logan’s teeth sinking into the plump, fleshy part of Scott’s earlobe, Scott’s nails raked harder over Logan’s back, gripping tightly at his shoulders. He moaned desperately, body reflecting the urgency burning inside of him when his movements grew less restrained.

“Look at me,” Logan instructed coaxing Scott to meet his gaze beneath the moonlight, to watch his lover come undone with Scott seated over him, guiding Logan’s body into his again and again, knowing only too well that the lines were blurred with where they began and ended with one another. Gripping harder at Logan’s back, Scott bowed in forward biting at Logan’s shoulder to suppress the wild hunger growing inside of him.

“Don’t hold back,” Logan urged him on further, “Please…”

“This is…” Scott’s broken words were replaced by soft, encouraging cries of satisfaction, rising and falling with his movement, guiding Logan to that place inside of him where everything else ceased to exist beyond the warmth of his lover’s arms.

“Heaven,” Logan finished carefully repositioning Scott on the blanket depositing Scott beneath him when Logan’s need for dominance revealed itself underneath the moonlight.

With a few adjustments and a new view of his lover over him, Scott’s arms surrounded Logan’s shoulders, his thighs draped high above Logan’s hips encouraging Logan to let loose from within, to drink up the cries of pleasure escaping from Scott’s lips. His hands charted over Scott’s body encouraging Scott to do the same in relearning everything about the man he’d spent so much time working to distance from his life.

“Logan,” Scott panted his name, reaching out to hold Logan’s face. He squeezed at Logan’s jawline, angling Logan’s mouth to his in a wild, reckless kiss, hoping to share every sensation with the man above him, touching that part of him that he’d often kept hidden deep within.

“Slim,” Logan’s words came out in a labored breath, his sound spilling into Scott’s mouth. His body moved fluidly within Scott’s damp form, glistening beneath the moonlight.

With each thrust within, Logan was met by Scott’s rising hips and the sounds of untamed pleasure growing in intensity until Scott’s lips broke away from their kiss. His fingers pushed against Logan’s cheekbones commanding his lover’s full attention when Logan stilled inside of him. For an instant time ceased to exist as Scott held Logan above him, lost in sensation, overtaken with the faint warmth spilling over his body illuminating his flesh with Logan’s body within the walls of his trembling form. The winds that surrounded them contrasted the mounting, pulsating heat radiating from their damp bodies pressed together in the darkness.

“Logan I…” Scott whimpered gripping tighter at the man above him when his heart swelled with the one thing that he’d refrained from offering Logan. Now as Logan surrounded him, touching him in ways that no one had ever dared reach before, Scott was at a turning point wanting more than anything to say those three words that Logan had so desperately longed to hear.

“I know…” Logan promised stealing the words from Scott’s lips with a kiss before he could vocalize them.

It was both a blessing and a curse in knowing how close he’d been to speaking from his heart, yet Logan had sensed Scott’s uneasiness, had felt his apprehension, and given him an out to saying the words he’d held within his ironclad grip. They were there in his kisses, in his touch, but in knowing what their sound would do to change things for them, Scott had been afraid—terrified at what the cost would be in doing so. As if on instinct Logan had sensed that providing Scott with the out he’d needed, which only served to cause Scott’s heart to swell with the emotion even more than he’d thought capable when he’d surrounded himself with the thought of love in his life.

Moaning against Logan’s mouth, Scott held on tighter feeling the power of their connection changing something inside of him. With each movement Logan made, Scott was caught up in Logan’s touch. His sense of self-preservation was replaced by an urgency to connect with Logan, to be one with his body and his heart in ways that he hadn’t thought possible. In Logan’s embrace, he’d found freedom, caught up in the way that they melded together merging beyond the motion of their bodies until finally passion erupted and Scott found himself blown over by the possibility of what it meant to be truly one with Logan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was initially the second part of the last chapter and while I'd intended to break it off on a cliffhanger this time around, I'd felt with it being Valentine's Day I'd leave it off on a romantic note. Just know that this is truly the calm before the storm. For everyone taking part of this journey, just know big things are happening soon! Thanks for reading! As always if you like it, let me know :)


	33. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott's finally ready to face the truth in his heart with Logan. Will they be able to embrace the blossoming romance between them or will fate have other plans in store for them?

**Love:** an intense feeling of deep affection.

“You okay?” Logan questioned holding Scott’s trembling form against his broad, perspiration-soaked chest. He pressed a tiny kiss over Scott’s damp wavy hair, hugging Scott’s body over him long after the flames of desire died down between them underneath the stars. Together they pulled the blanket around them in a makeshift cover, struggling to ignore the chill that the clearing had carried over their damp, cooling bodies.

“Never better,” Scott mused gently fingering Logan’s chest hair beneath the moonlight, “You?”

“I could probably go for a smoke right about now,” Logan joked feeling Scott jab him in the ribs, “or perhaps a kiss.”

“That I can do,” Scott repositioned himself over Logan using what little strength he still carried with him to seal their lips in a soft, lingering sweep.

“Mmmm…that hits the spot,” Logan teased guiding Scott’s lips to his once again for another teasing taste of their connection.

“Yeah,” Scott agreed touching the side of Logan’s face before snuggling in over Logan’s shoulder. His thigh was positioned between Logan’s legs, his arm stretched out across Logan’s chest with his hand gripping at Logan’s shoulder in the hopes of keeping them as connected as possible in their post-love making reflection, “it sure does.”

“It feels so good in fact that I find myself thinking that I could use a whole lot more of you in my life,” Logan teased tickling at Scott’s ribs in a playful fashion. It caused Scott to squirm and laugh when Scott stretched out further over Logan.

“Hmm…well, if you play your cards right, I could perhaps find a way to work you into my schedule from time to time,” Scott teased wrinkling his nose with the suggestion. Laughter spilled over his lips when Logan’s fingers continued their assault on his torso, “Logan!”

“I’ll give you fitting me in,” Logan’s teasing fingertips stroked the side of Scott’s abdomen, pushing over his hip until finally Logan’s fingers settled over the top of Scott’s rounded bottom.

“I’m kidding,” Scott relented with a soft, contented sigh, “I’m sure that I can see to it that there will always be room for you on my agenda from here on out.”

“That’s better,” Logan laughed surrounded by the comfort and ease that their connection carried with them in their darkened surroundings, “Although I should be up front with you in saying that I’m a man of many desires.”

“Hmm…” Scott traced his index finger over Logan’s nipple, taking his time to roll his fingertip over the peak in a playful movement, “I hadn’t noticed.”

“I’m pretty sure if we make this a regular thing between us, then you’re going to have to give me a little wiggle room with the details,” Logan joked when Scott snuggled deeper into him.

“I’ll wiggle as much as you’d like me to as long as things always feel like they do right now,” Scott sighed closing his eyes behind his glasses. His damp hair pressed to his forehead in messy, wet strings undoubtedly revealing just how disheveled he was in the aftermath of their passion, but it didn’t matter how tousled he was. It felt good.

“This wasn’t how I saw this happening tonight,” Logan confessed with a sigh squeezing his arms tighter around Scott.

“I know,” Scott lazily traced his finger around Logan’s nipple again, circling the dark hair that formed a warm buffer to the world beyond the blanket they were wrapped up in, “but for what it’s worth, I think this might be better.”

“I don’t know,” Logan poked at Scott’s ribs when a mischievous smirk spread over his sharp features, “after we’d talked about that whole trying you to the bed scenario…”

“Trust me I haven’t forgotten about that. That comes later,” Scott joked massaging the lines of Logan’s chest once again, “but before we do that, I think we’ll have to come up with a safe word.”

“A safe word?” Logan repeated raising his head up off the ground with amusement in his voice, “Just how in-depth do you imagine we’ll go with that fantasy Slim?”

“All the way,” Scott breathed soaking up the warmth of Logan’s skin, “and when we do all of that, we’ll make sure it’s an unforgettable night.”

“Tonight was pretty damned unforgettable,” Logan mused pressing a kiss over the top of Scott’s head before lowering his head to the ground again.

“It sure was. I’ve never made love under the stars like this before,” Scott agreed smiling.

“No?” Logan questioned unable to quell the curiosity in his voice.

“Never,” Scott divulged quietly. His fingers massaged over the lines of Logan’s body drawing a lazy path from the top of Logan’s ribcage to his lower abdomen just above his hip, “You?”

“Maybe once or twice,” Logan replied contemplating Scott’s questioning, “but never like this.”

“Right,” Scott’s voice shifted for the briefest of seconds before doubt surrounded his tone, “sure.”

“It wasn’t,” Logan argued raising his head up again. Reaching out to touch the side of Scott’s face, he coaxed Scott into repositioning himself to look at Logan to see the truth behind his words, “It was never like this.”

“Was it with Norm?” Scott questioned twisting in Logan’s arms. He pulled himself up over Logan’s chest when nagging curiosity got the best of him, “Were you here together?”

“No,” Logan answered honestly, “never here.”

“But outside, yes? Under the stars?” Scott probed reaching out to touch the side of Logan’s face, coaxing him to spill his secrets.

“No,” Logan’s voice shifted with the sudden apprehension that carried over their conversation.

“Then was it with a random stranger or…” Scott’s thoughts got the best of him before he expelled a quiet, uneasy breath, “the other me?”

“He and I enjoyed being outdoors with one another,” Logan conceded squeezing his arm tighter around Scott’s body, “but never like this.”

“If it was, you wouldn’t dream of telling me for fear of negating what we shared here tonight,” Scott noted searching the expression on Logan’s face, “You’d be concerned that I’d be afraid you were comparing and contrasting us in our performance, no?”

“There wasn’t any performing going on in either case. This is real,” Logan touched the side of Scott’s face. His fingertips tapered off into Scott’s damp hairline twisting into the moist, dark locks and coaxing Scott’s lips to his in a lingering kiss. With the command, Scott’s lips parted further inviting Logan readily within his warm, seeking something beyond their superficial words until finally they were both buzzing with energy caught up in the sensation that their bodies created with the contact.

Breathless they parted and Scott pushed up on his elbows gazing down at his lover with thoughtful admiration, “It’s the realest thing I’ve ever known in my life Logan.”

“Slim?” Logan questioned touching the side of Scott’s face, observing the way that Scott turned into him, seeking out Logan’s index finger between his lips. The gesture caused Logan to shift on the blanket, mesmerized when Scott’s lips surrounded Logan’s fingertip more completely, drawing Logan into his mouth with a teasing nip before drawing back and releasing him.

“A part of me is terrified in knowing just how weak I feel in your arms,” Scott confessed lowering his head over Logan’s shoulder once again, “You make me strong in ways I didn’t think capable. I feel alive and free yet burdened by the fear of what losing you could do to me in the long run Logan.”

“Hey…” Logan whispered when Scott’s face nuzzled into the side of Logan’s neck seemingly taking in his scent.

“I would lose everything if you weren’t a part of my life any longer,” Scott continued in a small, vulnerable voice, “Losing him tore me to pieces, but being without you would be the end of me. I feel so deeply for you Logan that it’s hard for me to put to words just how profound this feels inside of me. Not because you remind me of what I once had with him. Not because of mourning what I lost, but because I’ve fallen for you—as you are, as I know you to be.”

“Slim, I…” Logan opened his mouth preparing to echo Scott’s sentiment in offering up a taste of his own, but before he could say the three words that Scott knew to be true Scott pushed himself up onto his elbows and placed his index finger over Logan’s lips to silence him.

“Please,” Scott urged Logan to silence. His lips curved downward in warning causing Logan to nod in compliance, “this is already hard enough for me.”

“I know,” Logan’s words buzzed against Scott’s fingertip.

“Then know that to reveal this part of who I am is in essence disclosing that you are my greatest weakness,” Scott’s voice echoed into the night, lost in sentiment when the night surrounded them, “Losing you would destroy me Logan. Knowing how much I need you in my life—how much I want to share all that I am with you despite the risk involved…”

“Some risks are worth taking Slim,” Logan reminded him.

“I’ve never been this afraid in my life because nothing has ever mattered as much to me,” Scott acknowledged in between demonstrative words. His thumb brushed over Logan’s bottom lip, tracing the kiss-swelled flesh before he paused struggling to reveal his own truth, “I was so wrong to treat him the way I did and that will forever haunt me. He deserved more than what I was willing to give. All he ever did was love me and I hurt him in ways that I never planned on.”

“Slim, hey…” Logan’s words buzzed over Scott’s thumb sending warmth deep into Scott’s bones at the strength of their connection.

“I loved him Logan,” Scott revealed to the night around them, “I loved him more than I imagined possible when that part of me was closed off after I’d made my choice. The memory of that emotion haunted me for years before I considered facing it. Time and time again he and I came so close to that special thing that we both longed for, but each time we tried fate had other plans for us.”

“That doesn’t mean that he didn’t feel it too,” Logan offered up in consolation, “He understood the circumstances and…”

“Understanding it didn’t make it any easier,” Scott refused to accept Logan’s placating him, “I hurt him in the name of duty and obligation all because I couldn’t be the man he wanted. I wasn’t strong enough to be the man he needed, but I don’t want to make that mistake with you. I don’t ever want to hurt you the ways in which I hurt him.”

“You won’t,” Logan replied readily.

“You can’t know that. None of us can ever really know if and when I will crack and…” Scott’s voice trembled with the fear that resonated in his heart, “If I screw this up…”

“Why would you believe that you would?”

“Because I have before and there was no coming back from where I once was,” Scott’s head hung somberly, “The damage had already been done.”

“We can’t go back Slim,” Logan encouraged Scott to meet his eyes again, “I know that nothing I say will make you feel better about the way things played out, but…”

“I loved him in ways I was never brave enough to share when he needed to hear it Logan,” Scott choked up on his words, unable to mask the tears that carried over him in his confession, “I truly was the worst thing to ever happened to him. There’s not a day when I’m not haunted by what I did to him. It’s the worst part of me and I can’t ever erase that.”

“He wouldn’t want you to condemn yourself for what went down Slim,” Logan consoled him, “Neither one of you were perfect.”

“No, but I knew better. I was aware of his feelings for me. I knew how I held his heart in my hands,” Scott bellowed behind broken words, “Much like when I was holding yours in the warehouse, I knew that I had the power to open it to something more or to crush it without thought to consequence. I chose the latter and in turn broke the man he once was. My love destroyed him Logan.”

“Or maybe it was what set him free?” Logan reached out to brush a tear away from Scott’s sharp, angular cheekbone, “Perhaps it was your love for him that finally gave him reason and purpose in this world?”

“Then why do I feel so horrible about the way my love broke him? I shattered his life in ways that he could never forgive me for. I played with his heart all because of a warped sense of duty and responsibility,” Scott shook his head in dismissal of Logan’s consolation, “He offered me the most vulnerable part of his heart and I shattered it without considering its worth. I callously reduced his love to a tool used to manipulate and betray him. I deceived his heart and betrayed mine in the process.”

“Slim, I know how much you loved him,” Logan’s face twisted with the same pained expression that Scott had often witnessed in Logan’s counterpart. The familiarity was there, but the thought behind the sentiment was far different than the first time Scott had broken the other Logan’s heart, “I know that you were his world.”

“But I never allowed him to be mine,” Scott spoke up in an impassioned tone, “I never allowed myself the freedom to love him the way he deserved to be loved—the way he needed to be treasured and I lost him Logan.”

“I wish that things could’ve been different for you, but…” Logan’s words trailed off before he raised his chin up to meet Scott’s somber expression with a stubborn determination, “at the same time I don’t. I envy what he had with you. Knowing how readily he held your heart drives me mad with jealousy. It takes me to dark places that I’ve sworn I’d never go again, but in having you in my arms…”

“How can you be envious of a man whose heart was crushed for my own agenda?” Scott questioned with a shake of his head, “How can you revel in jealousy over someone whose love held less value than it should’ve in my world? He offered me everything and I, in turn, twisted his emotions, worked them for my benefit and spit him out when it was over. I hurt him in ways that I won’t ever forgive myself for, but the worst part of it all is that in knowing what I am—in seeing what I’m capable of, it doesn’t stop me from falling harder than I did before.”

“Scott I…”

“Logan, I know I loved him. With all that I was I wanted to offer him my love—to wrap it up in a bow and present it to him in a flowery token of what it could mean for the both of us, but selfishly I held back. I greedily clung onto that love, burying it down deep inside of me to keep within the walls I’ve created to keep the world at bay. I nurtured it and allowed it to grow but refused to expose it to him for fear of what that could mean. When Charles encouraged me to keep him here those three words were all he required, but I offered my body instead. I invited him to share my lust, but not my heart. I purposely withheld the one thing that he craved more than anything because to admit to that would serve as my undoing. If I’d given him what he needed I would be exposed and vulnerable. I would be defenseless and the very idea of leaving myself in such a position terrified me…until tonight.”

“Slim?”

“Logan,” Scott swallowed down hard, “I won’t lie to you and pretend that he wasn’t someone who defined a great deal of my life because he was. He caused me to challenge and question myself in ways that I never anticipated before he entered my world. Before him I thought that Jean was the answer to my prayers, but when he stepped into my life, I saw that I’d been going through the motions—merely a shell of a man pretending to be someone he wasn’t in the name of preserving Charles Xavier’s dream. I lied to myself in thinking that if I could convince myself to bury my emotions and my desires that things would somehow right themselves, but they never did. He and I never could escape that bond between us until I severed it entirely.”

“Slim, I know that you think that is what you did, but…”

“I hurt him. I betrayed and broke him, but damn it I loved him, nonetheless. I loved him far more than I loved anything in this world…” Scott angled his head to the side, pausing in his words long enough to observe Logan beneath the moonlight.

Silently he reached out bringing his hands over Logan’s face to lightly trace the lines of his forehead, to highlight the curve of his cheekbones, tracing over his jawline until finally curling around his chin. His touch caused Logan to arch his head back revealing a soft purr until Scott found the courage to lean forward to capture Logan’s lips in a slow, heartfelt kiss.

“I loved him Logan, but nowhere near as much as I feel for you,” Scott’s words buzzed against Logan’s mouth, coaxing them to sweet surrender in his heartfelt confession, “As guilty as that makes me feel for not offering him my heart, I know now that I was holding back because it wasn’t his for the taking. As much as I’d longed to give it to him, it was on reserve waiting for the day that you would find me—that I could finally be free to give it to its rightful owner. It belongs to you Logan. I think a part of me has known it always has.”

“Slim I…”

“You entered this world in your darkest hour, bringing with you a lifetime of pain and heartache from a place I’ve never known, but this…” Scott explained in an impassioned tone, “This is the sign that I’ve been waiting for from the beginning. You are the one thing that has evaded me time and time again during my quest for self-discovery. For so long I thought it was him, but I was wrong. It’s you. You are everything that I’ve waited my entire life to find. You’re it for me Logan. I know that now.”

“You’re it for me too Slim,” Logan promised holding him tighter, “I know that we may be from different worlds, but…”

“You are my destiny,” Scott finished behind choked laughter, “and as cheesy as that sounds, I think for the first time in my life I truly understand what it means to find that missing part of your soul that lovers claim to find when it’s real. I understand why people write love songs and ridiculous novels about the all-consuming power of surrender and affection.”

“All that from a night underneath the stars,” Logan teased winking up at Scott only to be the recipient of a wrinkled nose and an exasperated sigh.

“This isn’t a joke. As crazy as it sounds this is me giving you that thing that I’ve never allowed anyone else to have. This is me offering you all that I am,” Scott sat upright over Logan’s abdomen. He reached out to pull Logan’s hand to his chest, centering in over the place where his heart was racing, “With all of my heart I love you Logan. I know now that I always will.”

“Slim, I love you too. I…”

“I would give my life for yours,” Scott continued in an impassioned tone, “I would surrender my soul to spare yours, but most of all for the first time in my life I find myself wanting to live for you.”

“I want to live for you too,” Logan pulled himself up off the ground surrounding Scott’s body in a tight embrace, “All that I am is yours. I love you Slim. I know now that I always will.”

“I’m scared,” Scott trembled within Logan’s arms, “I don’t admit that often, but…”

“I’m scared too but loving each other isn’t wrong. It doesn’t make us weak or vulnerable or…”

“Doesn’t it?” Scott questioned solemnly, “It changes everything.”

“That doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Logan suggested squeezing his arms around Scott again, “It could be good for us to finally be free to explore this—to share what we’ve been hiding from each other up until now.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Logan promised him.

“You’ve already given me your heart, which means I now have the power to break you,” Scott held on tighter, burying his face in Logan’s shoulders when emotion overtook him, “I could one day be the key to your undoing and…”

“Without you in my life the world isn’t a place worth living in,” Logan assured him with a soft squeeze, “I begin and end where you are Slim. You’re home for me.”

“I don’t want to be the man I was before,” Scott choked on his words, “I don’t want to be cold and broken. I don’t want to be afraid and withdrawn from the world around me, always distanced from everything in my life. I want to be yours.”

“You are mine,” Logan promised hugging him in a tight squeeze, “You’ve always been mine in every way imaginable. As my companion…my lover…my…”

“Destiny,” Scott finished with a sad smile drawing back just enough to gaze upon Logan beneath the moonlight, “After tonight there’s no turning back.”

“I’m aware of that,” Logan nodded in confession, “I knew that coming into this.”

“Are we ready for what happens next?” Scott questioned in a tentative breath, “Now that we’ve said it, are we prepared for the aftermath? Can we both face what accepting this means considering that…”

“We love each other Slim. It doesn’t get any simpler than that,” Logan encouraged him further, “When it’s right you know and…”

“It complicates things in ways that could ultimately be our undoing should we take a misstep along the way,” Scott lowered his voice and surrendered to the moment.

“Do you want to turn back and forget it?” Logan questioned after a moment’s contemplation, “Do you want to walk away from this and pretend we aren’t here doing this…together?”

Scott bit down on his bottom lip hard. He caught the nervousness behind Logan’s eyes before he shook his head adamantly, “No. I don’t want that. I don’t want to even consider the thought.”

“Then I guess that leaves us at a bit of a turning point here Slim,” Logan added in a far too casual tone for Scott’s liking, “If we can’t turn back and we can only go forward, then I only see one solution to our problem.”

“Which is?”

“We fall desperately in love and see where the journey takes us,” Logan suggested with the beginnings of a smirk carrying over his lips, unable to repress the warmth that carried over him in his admission, “We give in to it Slim.”

“Just like that?” Scott questioned quietly.

“Just like that,” Logan repeated with a nod, “We do the impossible and we fall in love.”

“Like they do in the movies or on tv,” Scott chuckled feeling giddy at the very thought of the thing that could easily ruin the both of them under the worst of circumstances, “Like a musical or…”

“A romcom like the ones Marie loves where people roll their eyes after being served the dose of cheese factor at the end,” Logan piped in encouragingly.

“We’re never going to be one for cheese factor Logan,” Scott cautioned with a wrinkled expression on his face, “We’re complicated and messy and…”

“Sexy as fuck when we find our way to one another,” Logan finished dragging his hands up over Scott’s spine. With every hard press, he coaxed Scott in closer, urging their bodies to connect chest to chest, surrounded by the warmth of flesh, “We don’t need to burden ourselves with the details as long as we know it’s real.”

“It’s real,” Scott smiled touching the side of Logan’s face as if to memorize the seconds that passed between them beneath the moonlight, “I love you James Howlett.”

“And I love you Scott Summers,” Logan met his words with sentiment of his own, “Always have and I know now that I undoubtedly always will.”

“So…” Scott bit down on his bottom lip once again, “where do we go from here?”

“I’m not sure, but I know as long as we’re doing it together that we’re going to have all we need to get through anything that comes our way,” Logan laughed in response caressing the back of Scott’s head just above his neck. With a rough pull he dragged Scott to him, claiming his lips with a ferocity and urgency to seal the promise that they made to one another. With each instinctive taste and burning, pawing grip, Logan coaxed Scott into him, surrounded by the weight of their declarations now that they’d finally found the freedom to face the one thing that they’d avoided from the beginning of their time together.  
  


* * *

“I love you,” Scott cried out into the night, not giving a damn about the consequences of the words that surrounded them in the middle of the wooded property. With Logan’s arms around his waist dragging him back down to the damp blanket that surrounded them, Scott found himself at ease caught up in his lover in ways he hadn’t anticipated when they’d exited Norm’s farmhouse earlier in the evening.

“I think you’re going to wake the dead if you keep screaming like that,” Logan teased curling Scott into his chest with laughter upon his lips.

“I don’t care who hears it,” Scott declared sliding his leg between Logan’s thighs. Their damp bodies came together carrying remnants of their earlier love making, caught up in their emotion far away from the worries of the rest of the world. With Logan’s heart beating beneath Scott’s touch, he took comfort in knowing that he’d found his way home. At long last he’d found true happiness in his life.

“Neither do I, but we’ll wake the neighbors if you keep shouting like that,” Logan joked again causing a blush to carry over Scott’s already flushed features.

“I thought you said that the neighbors were miles away,” Scott half questioned sinking into Logan’s chest.

“They are,” Logan chuckled with amusement, “but given your volume…”

“You’re weren’t complaining about that when we were…” Scott drew a figure eight over the center of Logan’s chest with his index finger.

“Yeah, well that’s perfectly acceptable,” Logan dismissed Scott’s rebuttal with a wide grin, “When I’m the one causing all of that commotion…”

“You still are,” Scott noted reaching out to touch the side of Logan’s face. Twisting in Logan’s arms, he smirked down at his passion-spent lover, “Your love has set me free.”

“As has yours for me,” Logan promised arching up to meet Scott’s lips again in a soft, gentle tease of overworked lips and tongues, gradually winding down after desire had overruled logic over their environment for a second time since their arrival at the pond.

“Then I think it’s safe to say we’re a hopeless mess,” Scott’s words buzzed against Logan’s mouth as their lips reluctantly parted.

“I suppose we are,” Logan agreed arching up to nip at Scott’s bottom lip one last time, “We’re both batshit crazy in love with each other.”

“I suppose we are,” Scott conceded with a smile so wide he feared his face would burst from the joy that radiated from within. With a wrinkled expression he cuddled against Logan again, giving himself to the warmth of Logan’s embrace.

Closing his eyes, Scott inhaled the distinct scent of Logan beneath him knowing full well that things had escalated far beyond sex for them after sentiment had given way to desire. For the second time in one night, Scott had surrounded himself with the promise of hope and love, welcoming it into his world and falling into a comfortable silence in his lover’s arms. With the sounds of the night around them, Scott found himself contented by the idea of being caught up in Logan alone, “What about bubble gum?”

“Bubble gum?” Logan repeated with a wrinkled expression on his face, “What like now? I’m not sure that I packed that considering that I was…”

“No, not actual bubble gum. I mean for our safe word when we…you know,” Scott shifted in Logan’s arms. He raised his chin up to catch the expression on Logan’s face before he let out a pinched laugh, “It sounds ridiculous right?”

“At the moment yeah,” Logan laughed lightly unable to resist squeezing Scott’s bottom in a playful gesture.

“All the more reason why it is perfect,” Scott continued to explain nestling into Logan’s chest once again as it was clear his thoughts were far from the worries they’d left behind inside the farmhouse, “I think it could work because it’s so far from sexual that…”

“It will be a good indicator when you’ve had more than your fill,” Logan conceded with a smirk as laughter surrounded them.

“When it comes to you,” Scott pulled himself up to kiss Logan once again with returned seriousness in his voice. His legs stretched out over Logan’s, arms surrounding Logan’s shoulders before he looked down upon his lover with a smile, “I highly doubt that’s a possibility.”

“I could spend hours lost in you,” Logan mused squeezing his arm around Scott’s hips in a soft, tender embrace that was far from sexual in the aftermath of passion. Encouraging Scott to snuggle in over him again, Logan closed his eyes and smiled in contemplation.

“I’d love to just spend forever just like this,” Scott nestled in over Logan savoring the scent of the woods around them with extinguished flames of the campfire just beyond their reach, “This is perfect.”

“You’ve got me there,” Logan teased kissing the top of Scott’s head again, “although we’re going to have to go back inside eventually.”

“I know,” Scott groaned outwardly, “I just don’t want to think about the possibility that…”

“We’re going to have to pack up and go find another place to lay low for a while when we get back, aren’t we?” Logan questioned curling his arm around Scott tighter than before.

“Maybe not tonight,” Scott decided with a shift over Logan’s body, “but we both know that in staying here it complicates things.”

“I’m aware,” Logan conceded trailing his fingers over the dip in Scott’s spine, “but at the same time before we leave there are a couple of things that I still have to accomplish in being here.”

“I’m sure Norm can find someone else to take care of the animals,” Scott teased hugging Logan tighter than before, “You said he normally has a caretaker here to look over the barnyard animals while he’s out of town.”

“That’s not it Slim. I wish it were that easy but,” Logan’s body tensed up beneath Scott’s embrace, “The thing is that I haven’t been entirely on the up and up about our being here. Granted at the motel opportunity presented itself, but I was thinking about coming out here before you pulled me out of the hospital. There were some things that were left unsaid and…”

“Obviously you had your reasons,” Scott sighed considering Logan’s words, “I know that you want to help Norm find his granddaughter given that she’s of interest to Markus. Regardless of how I feel about the situation, I see that you want to believe he’s a good man—that he’s someone your faith isn’t misplaced in.”

“The thought had crossed my mind, but no, that’s not what pulled us here,” Logan explained behind gritted teeth, “There was a part of me that was in denial, but after I spoke with Clint, it dawned in on me that…”

“That what?” Scott questioned angling his head to watch Logan closely, “Logan, what is it?”

“It’s just that in the hospital Clint and I had a talk…a really long talk about things and…”

“And?”

“It’s just that there are some things that we need to discuss,” Logan hesitated tensing up beneath Scott’s embrace, “As much as I wish I could keep this to myself, I know now that I can’t.”

“What’s going on?” Scott questioned with a worried expression on his face, “What’s on your mind Logan?”

“Right now, it’s you that’s on my mind, but after we go back inside reality steps into play again,” Logan paused again.

“I’m aware,” Scott answered somberly, “but if you think for a second that reality changes what you and shared with one another tonight.”

“I don’t,” Logan clarified without hesitation, “Everything that we did and said here tonight means everything to me Slim. It isn’t something that I take lightly and…”

“I don’t either,” Scott earnestly promised him, “and if you think for a second that I’m going to harbor any regrets about any of this…”

“I don’t,” Logan assured him, “I understand how hard this was for you, but I don’t think that anything that happens next will change where you and I stand with one another. I love you Slim and in loving you, I think it’s only fair for you to see the world with fresh eyes—as my equal—as my partner in all of this considering that…”

“What?” Scott questioned wearily when Logan’s body continued to tighten beneath him, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Natasha said something to me back in the hospital—something that I’ve been thinking about since before we got here Slim. When Clint mentioned that Fury had enlisted her on this mission—that Clint was having her do things for him to help him find his little girl,” Logan hesitated drawing in an uneasy breath, “I got to thinking about things and…”

“What things?” Scott prompted him further.

“When you were downstairs on the computer, I took a walk around the property and checked things out like I told you I would,” Logan recounted with an uneasy breath. He cleared his throat and looked up to the night sky wondering what was beyond the stars as they held onto one another.

“Right,” Scott nodded.

“In doing so, it gave me time to reflect on what’s been happening here,” Logan swallowed down hard, “I kept replaying all the things leading up to this point in time with us on this mission from the trials, to you going into that warehouse and helping Maria and Clint. I keep thinking about what Markus is capable of and whether we could really be safe here after your initial apprehension. There was something in my talk with Nat that stuck with me. There was this distressing thought inside my head, so I took the opportunity to consider everything that’s happened up until this point and that’s when it hit me.”

“What hit you?” Scott attempted to guide the conversation on further, to gently pull the conversation along as Logan seemed to hold back.

“I don’t know if it was the nagging voice you awakened inside of me, but while you were doing your research I made my way to the main house to take a closer look at Norm’s life beyond the one he and I shared with one another,” Logan’s voice was laced with apprehension, “I don’t know why I didn’t just ignore it, but something guided me to work my way inside the main house to take a look around and…”

“What did you find?” Scott questioned firmly.

“Something that maybe a part of me always knew, but wasn’t going to believe until I had confirmation before my eyes,” Logan answered somberly, “A part of me was hoping like hell that I was wrong—that maybe there was just some kind of twisted coincidence happening here, but the thing is after I spoke with Clint and Natasha, there was something that felt a bit too familiar and…”

“Logan, what did you discover?” Scott demanded in a sharp, commanding tone meant to pull Logan from his uneasy hesitation.

“Well, you see the thing is…” Logan’s words came to an abrupt stop when the sound of a snapping twig in the distance put him on full alert. His body tensed up beneath Scott’s, suddenly transforming to the Wolverine when an unfamiliar scent carried through the night, “We’re not alone.”

“What do you mean we’re not alone?” Scott sat upright, immediately rolling off Logan’s chest when Logan sprung up to his feet.

“Get dressed Slim!” Logan ordered snarling when another snapping sound carried through the night alerting Scott to the impending threat closing in upon them, “Someone’s here.”

“We’ll face this together,” Scott decided reaching for the blanket and pulling it around his chilled form. He spun around the clearing attempting to seek out the source of the night’s disturbance when the sound of Logan’s claws emerging set him immediately on edge, “Logan, what is it? Is it a person?”

“I don’t know. I don’t recognize it,” Logan confessed in a muted tone above the night’s breeze. His body was riddled with tension, his claws shining beneath the moonlight when a grimace carried over his face, “It could be an animal—a deer maybe or it could be…”

“Danger,” Scott finished noting that their clothing was across the clearing over by where they’d started their make out session next to the fire. Now, it felt like a world away when Scott contemplated their options, “How much time do we have?”

“Not enough to make a run for it back to the farmhouse,” Logan explained moving in closer to Scott.

“Then we deal with this here,” Scott decided pressing his back up against Logan’s knowing only too well that they’d foolishly allowed themselves an opening for an ambush in giving in to desire. Silently cursing himself for letting his guard down, Scott surveyed the area wondering just what dangers they’d willingly invited into their world.

“Whatever happens… If whomever is here works for Markus, you don’t let them take you Slim,” Logan ordered behind gritted teeth. He puffed his chest out returning to survival instincts when concern carried over his broken tone, “No matter what we encounter…”

“I’m not going anywhere Logan. Not tonight,” Scott promised when a rustling to the left of where they stood caused Scott’s focus to turn to the woods. As if on instinct he reached for his glasses preparing to blast whatever had taken to spying on them into the Hudson River if need be. He stood his ground, gripping the blanket with one hand and the frame of his glasses with another when a curious fawn exposed itself beneath the moonlight. It staggered towards the pond seeking out a drink when Scott’s racing heart practically skipped a beat, “Logan look.”

“What?” Logan questioned glancing over his shoulder at the deer. It lowered its head carefully taking a drink from the water before them. Immediately Logan’s body released the tension that mounted in his shoulders, focusing on the small deer that had staggered into the clearing, “Oh hey…where’s mama little one?”

“It is a little late for that one to be roaming around,” Scott noted watching as the clumsy fawn nearly toppled into the pond in its uncoordinated movements, “That one is awfully young.”

“Which means mama and possibly papa aren’t far behind,” Logan decided retracting his claws before shaking off the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins, “We probably shouldn’t stick around for the family reunion.”

“No, I suppose you’re right,” Scott agreed unable to suppress the smirk that carried over him in watching the fawn’s reaction to the water. It stepped forward uneasy about the damp texture beneath its foundation before stepping back. It repeated the process a few times before moving further into the pond to savor a cool drink from within, “We should head back.”

“I’ll make sure the fire is out completely,” Logan decided with a shake of his head, “You grab our things and we’ll get dressed.”

“What? Wouldn’t want any rumors to fly about naked men roaming through the woods beside the Hudson late at night?” Scott teased with an air of playful energy in his tone.

“Heaven forbid we start that urban legend,” Logan groaned resuming his focus on the nearly extinguished campfire beside where they’d made love a short while earlier.

“No, I suppose we couldn’t allow rumors of the wild roving Wolverine and his insatiable lover to surround the hills with salacious gossip about incredible love making and wild mutant parties deep into the night where…” Scott joked further unable to mask his amusement in watching the fawn before him.

“We don’t need to end up in jail for all the wrong reasons,” Logan paused before glancing over his shoulder to issue Scott a teasing smirk, “or all the right ones I suppose.”

“Considering that it’s just the two of us, I think we’re more than capable of keeping our reputations intact,” Scott decided with a small laugh returning to the task of gathering their clothing before they returned to the farmhouse to presumably figure out their next move for the evening.

With a shake of his head Scott staggered along the path of discarded garments thinking about all the ways that he and Logan had enjoyed exploring each other beneath the stars. Granted it hadn’t been what either had intended on their journey out of the house, but with each passing second, Scott found himself filled with warmth over the memory imagining all the ways he and Logan could warm up with one another back inside the farmhouse. Smiling to himself, Scott bent down to pick up his blue briefs when he heard another rustling sound from the bushes. Angling his head up, he discovered a doe emerging from the trees to join the fawn, moving in slow, cautious movements to join her child by the edge of the pond. With a smile, Scott stood upright seeing the maternal instinct that had kicked in with the doe in her positioning to keep her child out of potential harm’s way when she’s spotted Scott near the water. He slowly raised his hands attempting to prove himself harmless when he nodded at her.

“We’re just on our way out,” Scott spoke up in a smooth, unassuming voice hoping to put the doe’s concerns to rest when he bent down to pick up his slacks. Clenching them to his chest, he stood upright watching the exchange with mother and child working together to help the small deer get a proper drink from the pond. The scene was almost peaceful, serene as Scott himself had to admit that the night appeared to be closing on a high note after all. Smiling at the exchange, his thoughts returned to Logan as he spoke back over his shoulder to his lover with a laugh.

“It turns out we had an audience tonight after all,” Scott teased preparing to say something further when the clicking sound of the double barrel shotgun pressed up against his cheekbone caused him to take pause.

“You aren’t kidding about that,” a gruff, agitated voice warned when Scott felt the gun jab into the side of his face, “Now don’t move pretty boy or else I’ll spill your brains across the terrain and leave it for the hawks come morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This chapter is a bit shorter than the last, but the sentiment felt like it deserved it's own chapter as there was a lot happening between Scott and Logan. For those who have been asking...the calm is about to meet the storm! Thanks again for reading! As always if you're liking it, let me know! I'd love to hear from you! Thanks again to everyone who is reading!


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